Literally no one asked for this but I got this prompt and it this was really fun to write so
Demon brother’s reaction to existential question at 1 am
For once in the few months you two have been together did he get to sleep at a reasonable time
The lights were off and you were both lying down when your voice broke the silence
“If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or the soap dirty?”
He literally gets up, turns on the light and just looks at you
“What are you talking about?”
“This is a serious question! Which is it!?”
Tells you to shush and go to bed because he doesn’t want to deal with this at 1 am
Probably up thinking about it and in the morning he’ll respond
You decide what you’d think he say because honestly,I think Lucifer would probably say either
You two? Sleeping at a reasonable time? Yeah it doesn’t happen
You were laying down and watching a movie when you asked though
“Mammon, is the “s” or the “c” silent in the word “scent”? ”
He’s so confused and you two will have a debate over which one because now you’re both really confused
“I’m telling you it’s the c”
“IT’S THE FIRST LETTER OF THE WORD”
“WHICH MAKES IT A GOOD REASON WHY IT’D BE SILENT”
You eventually go ask Lucifer but he tells you that you both are ridiculous and to go to bed
“Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?”
He just kind of sits there, looking at you in complete confusion because he doesn’t know
“Wouldn’t it be life insurance since he’s the car?”
“Yeah but it could also be car insurance since he’s literally a car”
You two decide to ask Satan and he tells you both are technically correct so it doesn’t matter
Doesn’t help because you’re both still really confused
You both were about to fall asleep in his room when you moved and lightly shook him
He sat up, worried that something happened but when he realized you looked fine he relaxed
“Are you ok? What’s wrong?”
“If two mind readers read each other’s mind, whose mind are they really reading?”
“I’m begging you to go to bed. And I’ll answer in the morning”
You agree because you want to know, he doesn’t ever give you an answer because he doesn’t know how to respond
“If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?”
He is about to go on a full on rant about how dumb that part of Cinderella is
He knows it’s just for the plot and everything but how does it fit perfectly if it fell in the first place???
You’re going to have to convince him to talk about something else because he’s about to talk about that subject for hours and now you’re getting tired
He was in the middle of eating a snack when you decided to ask him
“Why is there a “d” in fridge but not in refrigerator?”
He just wanted food why did you have to make him think this late
“Maybe they forgot the letter?”
“That would make so much sense… but it’s kinda dumb”
He agrees so you guys can eat food because he’s starving and doesn’t know how to react to the question
You actually woke him up when you asked him
He was in a bad mood until he saw you so he gave you a tired smile and asked what was wrong
“Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?”
“…Did you actually wake me up for that question?”
“Yeah because I’m curious”
Doesn’t say anything else
Just gives you a kiss and goes back to bed and hopes you’ll go back to bed too :)
He’ll ask his brothers in the morning so he can give you an answer though
But he’s still not sure himself
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