After a long, toxic, narcissistic and one sided (non)relationship I had put an end to the suffering I was going through and took some time to heal. I started talking to a guy that I had a missed opportunity with a long time ago. The relationship was so different and so nice in the beginning, I struggled. My past trauma surfaced in ways I couldn’t anticipate. This man saw my trauma, talked me through it and stayed by my side. I’ve settled into the relationship, less episodes of fear and anxiety. I’m off my meds and everything. It’s nice to have reciprocation. Love, care, loyalty, respect. He has boundaries, respects my boundaries and makes sure not to use my trauma against me. This is what healthy love feels like.
My mistake was trying to maintain a friendship with the last. The complete opposite of what I have now. When he talked down to me. After he yelled at me for beginning to date other people, while he was laying in the bed of another woman, while also living in a different woman house. I spent 5 years of him calling me needy, stupid, dumb, worthless, useless, he had 2 babies on me while we were together. I ate his lies, his torment, his abuse. After I gave him thousands of dollars, went in debt to take care of him. He treated me like shit. Like a toy on the shelf used to alleviate his boredom and elevate his ego. When I had enough and moved on he said I betrayed him, I was “unloyal”.
So after I had enough of him treating me like a piece of garbage, I blocked him everywhere, everywhere except here.
It won’t make a difference because narcissists don’t see what they do, only what you do that they don’t like. All he see is that I moved on and I moved on with someone he doesn’t like.
I’m okay with that. I’m okay with being treated like an asset, treated like a lady, treated like I matter and that I’m smart and beautiful. I’m okay with being happy. I’m okay being loved back.
After his desperate attempt on Friday to convince me that we were unhappy because of me and me telling him that we were better as friends, he did was he does and tried to start a fight. I was done! I blocked him.
Funny thing is, I have informed delivery from usps. Monday I got an alert that a package was coming to me so I checked where it was coming from and immediately knew who it was from.
The package came today and had two games in it.
When I opened it all I could do was laugh.
1. Whenever he sent a package to me in the past it had a woman’s name on it. What ever girl he was most serious about at the time. This one had his name on it. So he took the time and the money to send it personally 3 days after I cut him off.
2. Both of the games he sent are hard to find. He picked them up on the cheap from a retro game expo, but they both retail for over $300. He would have hurt me more if he hadn’t sent them at all.
3. Then there was the letter. The bitterness and hypocrisy of the words in the letter were clear.
4. He mailed it in time for me to get it for my birthday.
I’ve never felt more free. I’ve never felt more sure of a decision to leave someone alone. I nearly killed myself to take care of a man, someone that was supposed to be my dominant, someone that said they didn’t believe in aftercare because after they don’t care, only to be called names for my troubles.
He certainly left me better than he found me, because I know my worth now. I’ve learned my boundaries and how to respect them and demand others do as well.
If you’re reading this J, thank you for being the worst decision I ever made, I’m better for it. And you’re not the villain in my story, I pity you too much. ❤️
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! 🥰
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
yousharknotpass
areudirty
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
stormborns
ellievsbear
