random thoughts and pieces

Hello! I’m Jesse and I write pieces about music and how it has affected me as well as poems🔮LA☀️

[j-horchata]

Today is my birthday

The worst day of the year.

I won’t be able to do what I wanted

I wanted to go to the beach

It’s all I wanted.

I wish life was better than it is now.

Another year means I’d would soon come across another impossible challenge

Terrible thoughts come to mind

I just wish I was high

High enough to relax and just have a little fun

Not think about the things I have to do that stress me out

I miss someone that made me feel something

19 years of life

19 years of betrayal

19 years of lies

19 years of heartbreak

Happy birthday to me

[j-horchata]

Time by Arca

Arca has released her second single called Time from her upcoming album, KiCK i. She has once again created a masterpiece and this time creates a nostalgic feel with a beautiful instrumental and futuristic dreamy vocals.

She also gives us visuals where she is seen with the devil having fun with the devil himself. Both infatuated with each other having the time of their lives doing karaoke, riding a limousine, and just hanging out.

This song instantly reminded me of Summer 2019, where I had just finished a month of college prepping and only had 3 weeks to enjoy the summer before fall classes began. My family and I decided to visit family in Arizona and at the time, I felt lonely and lost.

The synths in Arca’s song reminded me of how I tried to keep myself together and not had the biggest breakdown ever. Change isn’t easy and sometimes we have to face reality and force ourselves to not give up. At that time I was so ready to give up.

I still feel that way 9 months later. I just know in my heart that soon I will be ok. It just takes time.

[j-horchata]

Pops by Angel Olsen

Pops is the last song on Angel Olsen’s third album ‘MY WOMAN’. A heartbreaking piano ballad where she gives us the most heart wrenching vocals and is able to pull the listener into the heartbreak.

I heard this song for the first time when the album came out and a few months after I experienced heartbreak for the very first time. And ‘Pops’ was the shoulder I was able to cry on.

The silly thing was, that I was not even in a relationship. I was in love with a person that I could never be with. So when she says “I'll be the thing that lives in the dream when it's gone”. It hurt to dream because I’m my dreams I was with this person in love, together. Dreaming hurts sometimes.

It has been a full year since the last time I saw this person and I was still crying over them. I was hurting so bad that it had become kind of traumatic. Luckily, recently I got over the pain and decided to separate myself from it. After a year of trying, I felt a certain peace in my soul and in my chest.

This song is merely a reminder of all the heartbreak I went through and I like to visit it from time to time because the piano played on this track is from the heavens itself. make sure to listen to this beautiful song, reblog, and share this post!

[j-horchata]

☀️Last Day of Summer☀️ by Summer Walker

Summer Walker captures nostalgia itself reminding the listeners of a past love, the feeling of being in love and of heartbreak.

For me, it reminds me of my high school when I would leave school in the afternoon after talking to a crush I had at the time. When the 40 minute walk home would consist of me blushing thinking about this person and how they were my friend.

The interesting part of it, is the beats created Arsenio Archer and Tim Maxey in ‘I’m There’ that created that sense of nostalgia with the r&b synths and soft background vocals singing along to the beat. Sexual lyricisms with the instrumental really makes the song sexy and kind of naughty. Also on ‘BP’ where Summer has comedian B. Simone talking on how like men, women have the same desires and want to make sure men know that this ain’t a one sided thing sometimes. As much as the men want it, the girls want it too.

The instrumentals also gives off a vibe that makes the sunny afternoons in LA feel like a dream, especially when it’s a chill day. It also creates a safe place to chill out and think about whatever you want.

As problematic as she might get, her music has been one of the few most magical songs I’ve heard in the past 2 years. Give it a listen and see if it reminds you of anything you love💫

[j-horchata]

I love the feeling of nostalgia and I am missing moments in my life where everything was still. There was a moment where the world just stopped and froze. And that wasn’t really the calm before the storm because it wasn’t calm. It just felt like the world was telling me to prepare and I should have prepared for what was to come like trauma people and the world were going to cause me. I cannot let go because to me it was like art and it is too precious to let go and if i do, I will not be able to gain motivation for the thing I want in my life and the art I can make. This side of me never comes out and people would never assume I would ever talk or share stuff like this. But all I know is that I would never say these things to the world willingly, even if I was forced. But I have gain little courage to share it. tbc...