scared of things

shitposts and reblogs

[bidonica]

Adfgjk

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[tenttle]

[lucentkat]

[geminiagent]

[cha0ticg0th]

[venomtots]

Real talk though has anyone else just thrown away a whole Tupperware container bc you left food in there for way too long and now you’re afraid to open it?

[venomtots]

All of you are so valid

[ornamentalcabbage]

me slowly rolling over in bed every 10 minutes while i scroll my phone

[coldasyou]

not to sound like a 5th grade health teacher but this whole idea that drinking alcohol for the first time symbolizes maturity and/or loosening up and not being up tight is how do I say…Fucked Up  

[thevampireconnoisseur]

Deadass the funniest fucking part of Aladdin is when the Sultan goes “ah, Jafar, my most trusted advisor” and it cuts to Jafar like this:

[chivalfairy]

[sixpenceee]

Signs of bad parenting via curejoy

[sixpenceee]

Signs of bad parenting via curejoy

[just-shower-thoughts]

In a 500 day period, someone could have met someone, got married, gave birth to a child, got divorced, and still would have been using the same box of Q tips.

[please-say-nine]

[tanks-a-lot]

why are sun bears like…that?

[captain-price-official]

like what

[tanks-a-lot]

[captain-price-official]

oh you mean that

well

sometimes it just be like that

[tastefullyoffensive]

[sixpenceee]

Winona Ryder on the set of Beetlejuice, 1988

[cheese-is-life]

This looks like the wheelchair grandma from the chocolate seller Spongebob episode

[blackwoolncrown]

Are straight white people okay????

What is this?!

[squeezemetillipop]

People like this exist. Interesting.

[feliicityrampant]

this story has a part 2

[doctormemes]

THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[bullyfemme]

[glorious-scumbag]

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

[caffeinatedcorvid]

I thought it was the same person ngl.

[imsuchacapricorn]

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

[imsuchacapricorn]

THERE’S AN UPDATE

[a-melior-ate]

Stephanie is a true hero.

[hemilf]

my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet

[badjokesbyjeff]

I called my friend just now and said, “I have a joke for you.”

Friend: “Ok shoot”

Me: “What has a tiny penis and hangs down?”

Friend: “I dunno what?”

Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Friend: I dunno what?

Click

[lyingnudieonthefloor]

THIS IS NOT A BAD JOKE, JEFF. THIS IS THE PINNACLE OF COMEDY.

[catsoverloaded]

She’s been regularly visiting me, until she just vanished a few weeks ago. Now I found her again at the shelter, and since it turns out her original owner doesn’t want her anymore I’ve officially adopted her!

[bassiter]

on the scale from griffin mcelroy to john mulaney, brian david gilbert is smack dab in the middle. shane madej is also in the middle but from the other direction

[zonerbonerz]

a scientific scale

[bumblesee]

Courtesy of the group chat