jaanu

i like reading ☀️ long posts 📜 doing my best to give spoiler free reviews! they/them

[jaanusbooktalk]

Welcome to my blog 🌻

Hi! I’m Jaanu, and I read (probably way too much). This is a “blog” account where I’m going to give my reviews on different books once I finish them. At the moment, I’m only reviewing books by BIPOC and queer folks. Though this may change for specific circumstances, it will be what I focus on; so needless to say, this is a safe space & discrimination isn’t tolerated. All my reviews are from books where the authors are of one or more of the communities they’re writing about - this ensures more accurate representation & avoids what I like to call “food rep” : when authors describe their token character of color as having chocolate/cocoa/caramel/toffee/coffee skin. We deserve effort, complex characters, and personality.

I want to highlight books with representation because they were so few and far between growing up, and I know I’m not the only one looking for these kinds of books. I’ll do my best to give spoiler-free reviews, so I hope you enjoy!

My reviews are usually divided into 6 sections:

1. My thoughts (off the top of my head)

2. The summary (pasted from Storygraph)

3. Representation

4. What I liked

5. Why I did/didn’t give it a 10

6. Who I’d recommend it to

^the types of books I read ☺️

I also use lots of gifs/visuals in my reviews because long blocks of text are boring 😗 if I wouldn’t read it, I’m not gonna post it!

Note: I’m South Indian & lesbian so book reviews for those identities will be Own Voices reviews - I’ll clarify if they aren’t!

Send me book recs with queer PoC & I’ll love you forever <3

That’s all for now~ I hope you’ll stick around!

Happy reading! 📖

[jaanusbooktalk]

Café con Lychee by Emery Lee - Book Review

6/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: homophobia, racism, cultural appropriation, fear of being outed, toxic friendships, bullying

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while! I just started senior year and everything’s been moving kinda fast, but I have gotten the chance to read a lot!

Most recently, I’ve read:

On a Sunbeam (graphic novel by Tillie Walden)

Rainbow in the Dark by Sean McGinty

Fifteen Hundred Miles from the Sun by Jonny Garza Villa

Love from A to Z by S.K. Ali

Lobizona by Romina Garber

Six Crimson Cranes by Elizabeth Lim

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

My So-Called Bollywood Life by Nisha Sharma

I’m currently reading Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner 🍜

^me and my college applications rn😭

Summary:

“Sometimes bitter rivalries can brew something sweet.

Theo Mori wants to escape. Leaving Vermont for college means getting away from working at his parents’ Asian American café and dealing with their archrivals’ hopeless son Gabi who’s lost the soccer team more games than Theo can count.

Gabi Moreno is miserably stuck in the closet. Forced to play soccer to hide his love for dance and iced out by Theo, the only openly gay guy at school, Gabi’s only reprieve is his parents’ Puerto Rican bakery and his plans to take over after graduation.

But the town’s new fusion café changes everything. Between the Mori’s struggling shop and the Moreno’s plan to sell their bakery in the face of the competition, both boys find their dreams in jeopardy. Then Theo has an idea—sell photo-worthy food covertly at school to offset their losses. When he sprains his wrist and Gabi gets roped in to help, they realize they need to work together to save their parents’ shops but will the new feelings rising between them be enough to send their future plans up in smoke?”

Representation:

This will be an own voices review since I’m coming from an Asian American & queer perspective, but we are not a monolith and not everyone will agree with my interpretation.

To be honest, I had really high expectations for this book. It had been in my TBR ever since I heard it was coming out, and I was super excited to read about two queer PoC falling in love (not to mention the enemies to lovers and food!!) but it ended up falling short in a lot of ways.

For representation, Theo Mori is Japanese and Chinese (if I remember correctly) and Gabi Moreno is Puerto Rican. While Theo is gay and out, Gabi is very much in the closet and struggles with his father’s machismo expectations.

I will say that while this is the author’s own experience growing up in these cultures, the book’s impact depended on the readers. For white readers, the book would appear to reinforce negative stereotypes like Asian parents pushing for perfect grades, and Latinx parents being machismo and sexist.

It’s one of those things that for Asian kids, we know that sometimes our parents can be strict, but it’s not something that applies to all Asian parents. I would have liked to see some of those stereotypes challenged in this book instead of reinforced.

That being said, the book did a really good job of showing the struggles of being in the closet, especially with a homophobic family.

What I Liked:

I liked the plot and how it flowed - nothing seemed choppy or didn’t make sense. There was always a reason the characters were doing what they did, and even if you didn’t agree with it you understood their motivations.

I needed a good beach read when I picked this up, and it did not disappoint. I also love love love when romance books have switching perspectives - it adds a lot of dimension to the characters.

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Sadly, this book ended up falling into a lot of unfortunate stereotypes that I felt readers from other backgrounds wouldn’t recognize as such. I discussed this a bit already, but it was to the extent that I had to put the book down at times. I also didn’t really like how the “enemies to lovers” aspect was basic - they genuinely had little reason to hate each other and it was mostly one sided. This is later acknowledged so that they can have a romance, but it fell flat for me. I prefer when characters have complex motivations, especially for a plot line that propels so much of the book.

Ultimately, I’m grateful for the representation this book brings to the table and I hope it can make people feel seen, I just didn’t enjoy the writing as much as I wanted to. For a debut novel, it’s not bad!

I can’t think of any recommendations like this book at the moment (because this is a months-old draft) but I’ll keep an eye out!

Thanks for reading!

[thestral-queen-rules]

desi wlw light academia aesthetic

//if I lived a million lives, I would have felt a million feelings and still would have fallen a million times for you//

- R.M.Drake

.

Some people who might like this one:@suvarnarekha @seekerbrave @psycho-mocha @kajukatliontop @wowyoufeelorphic @pitipossum @jugn00-fangirl @smr-the-tired-crackhead @metalvenomludens7 @cipher-dorito @bookishmuggleborn @bookishmuggleborn @tonicaballos @curious-fruitcake @shirodumbclownwolf @justalonelywriter @chaoticaindica @sr1nika @mrdyketator @adoginthemanger @shilabalika @ya-boi-leto @paadhee @silky-moon @rainbowsnowflake @dilliwaaligf @one-happy-silent-geek-girl @hanisishus @inexhaustible-sources-of-magic @king-of-knives @aayatunnisa @stolenkissesinthe-rain @navaratna @evarukadu @vaanvaruvaan @lemon-ooruga

[jaanusbooktalk]

Haven’t posted in a while, too many drafts in Tumblr and not enough in Common App 😭

In the meantime, here’s some recommendations with this aesthetic!

Books 📚:

The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri

The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Amina Mae Safi

Movies 🎥 🍿:

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga (on Netflix)

Fire (on Prime Video, directed by Deepa Mehta)

Badhaai Do (on Netflix, highly recommend)

Just Another Love Story (drama series, on YouTube)

Four More Shots Please (show, Prime Video)

Enjoy ♥️🧡💛💗❤️

[jaanusbooktalk]

The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer - Book Review

10/10⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

TWs: death, violence, cancer, blood, vomit, war

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously - especially that death part)

Sometimes you read a book, and there’s a distinct before and after. Before I read The Darkness Outside Us, I was a person wholly removed from who I am now, in the After.

To be honest, I’m still reeling from everything that this book was. Is. At some point tonight I will cry about it for the eighth time. At some point I’ll add it to my Amazon shopping cart so I can buy my own copy instead of this crinkly plastic-covered (now tearstained) one. At some point I’ll call up my best friend to cry about it some more. At some point I’ll make a Pinterest board, a Spotify playlist, anything I can think of to help me capture and share exactly how this book makes me feel. Because I need to describe it to someone, even if that’s myself.

I don’t reread books, as a rule. The last books I reread were the Harry Potter series when I was nine. This is going to be the first book to change that rule. Before I start actually reviewing, I would like to formally apologize to my brother who had to listen to me sob over this book for the past three hours while he tried to play video games in our hotel room. I’m sorry (but not really).

Summary:

“Two boys, alone in space. Sworn enemies sent on the same rescue mission.

Ambrose wakes up on the Coordinated Endeavor with no memory of a launch. There’s more that doesn’t add up: evidence indicates strangers have been on board, the ship’s operating system is voiced by his mother, and his handsome, brooding shipmate has barricaded himself away. But nothing will stop Ambrose from making his mission succeed—not when he’s rescuing his own sister.

In order to survive the ship’s secrets, Ambrose and Kodiak will need to work together and learn to trust each other . . . especially once they discover what they are truly up against. Love might be the only way to survive.”

TL;DR - Have you seen Bananafish? Have you read They Both Die At The End? They have nothing on this. (The blurb was dumb so this is what y’all are getting 😭)

Edit one hour later-

Spotify playlist:

Pinterest board:

100 Books I can’t get out of my head ideas in 2022 | raven king, blue sargent, blue raven

Jun 22, 2022 - Explore aggressive daydreamer's board "books I can’t get out of my head" on Pinterest. See more ideas about raven king, blue

If you want emotional damage, listen to the playlist while reading 🤲🏼❤️‍🩹

There is a terrible lack of fanart and general fandomness about this book so the sole two pieces of quality fanart I could find:

And yes, I did talk to my bestie for two hours about this.

Let’s talk representation:

There’s only really two human characters in this book and it takes place thousands of years into the future, where there are only two countries: Fédération and Dimokratía. From this it’s difficult to identify the ethnicities of the characters. They are both queer, thought at this point in the future they don’t really use labels like “gay” or “pansexual”. Neither are white, which is clear from the cover and descriptions of the characters.

This means this section is shorter, but my one commentary on the rep is that Ambrose’s skin is described without food terms (aka caramel, coffee, etc) which yes, is the bare minimum, but also appreciated💘

Also I’m just happy that we get a gay love story about space where the main plot line is not the romance - it’s a thriller/mystery/sci-fi elements!

Edit: HAHHAHAHAHA my whole review past this point just got deleted I hate everything fml 😃😃 I was literally right in the last section too

*deep breath* we move on 😌🪷🧘🏽‍♀️

What I liked:

This is one of those books that’s really hard to review without major spoilers, so this section will also be short (since this is a spoiler free blog).

I loved how space was depicted in this book. The prose was beautiful and the story overall really renewed my faith in humanity and made me wonder about what makes us human.

I also loved how the characters grew, developed (and broke down), and how they reflected the hope we search for in the world & each other. There has never been a more fitting name for a book than The Darkness Outside Us, because Ambrose and Kodiak were the light for each other.

At the very beginning of the book there are two black pages, which I’ve put below:

It took me a while to get it.

On a space ship in the middle of endless nothing, the only indication Ambrose and Kodiak had that they were alive was each other. This was what kept them from going insane.

They only knew they existed because there was someone else to perceive them.

(You can see how this gave me an existential crisis now right?)

Ambrose also, understandably, has multiple existential crises throughout the book (because of the nihilistic tendencies in his personality 🧐?) as shown above.

Although I did rate this a 10, some people had some issues with it (that I realized after listening to a podcast review) that I wanted to acknowledge:

- suspension of disbelief

- Ambrose’s character at the beginning (a little self centered)

- too much space stuff & it was confusing at times

- the ending (redacted for obvious reasons but basically abrupt/random)

Note: the people who brought these up still rated the book 8/10 or 3.5/5 overall, despite what they disliked. I didn’t have any of these problems (aside from the Ambrose one which I attributed to deep seated self image problems) but everyone will read it their own way so I wanted to include them as a heads up!

Here is the link to the Spotify podcast review if you’re interested (be aware there are MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)

What brought it to a 10:

This book led me to ask some pretty big questions-

“Would I have done the same in their shoes? Would anyone?”

“If you could do it again would things be different?”

“What makes us human?”

“How do you know you exist?”

“What brings people together/what keeps them apart?”

“How much can people withstand before they go crazy?”

It’s a book that is sad, yes, but not in a way that you’ll regret reading it after. You’ll be grateful the universe (and maybe me 😉) helped put it in your hands.

Finally, I’ll let some random people (courtesy of Tik Tok comments sections) tell you what they thought:

“This book has ruined me and cured me and murdered me and hugged me all at once” -@ihathdroppedmycroissant

“I listened to the audiobook version and it had me sitting upright in my bed all night starting at the wall” [email protected]

“I just finished this and I’m still gasping for air” [email protected]

Do with this what you will.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

Osamu Dazai (the author)

Simone de Beauvoir & Jean-Paul Sartre (poets/key figures in Existentialism)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Psychology AKA why ppl do sh*t

Philosophy AKA why ppl do sh*t but fancy✨

Sad books that take ur heart and give it back better

Note: Gay space nerds, you should read this🪐 (I love u)

This book changed the way I see the world. I hope it will for you too 🫶🏼

^me to Tumblr for deleting my review halfway thru (I’m on Ep. 12 of Doom At Your Service rn)

[jaanusbooktalk]

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo - Book Review

8/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: homophobia, racism (slurs), miscarriage, misogyny, sex (non graphic), underage drinking

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Last Night At The Telegraph Club had been sitting in my virtual TBR for months, and my bookshelf even longer. I’m so glad I finally got around to it this pride month!

I will say right off the bat that after reading I don’t necessarily agree with how it was marketed; the back of the book labeled it a thriller, whereas I felt like it was way less thriller and more historical fiction (I like both so this wasn’t a problem, just a heads up)

I fell in love with the characters, and even though it was a pretty slow-paced read I liked that I could enjoy it leisurely, put-it-down-and-pick-it-back-up-later type of vibe.

The story is set in California during what’s known as the “Red Scare” - when the U.S. government was firing employees and detaining anyone suspected of communist ties. Because of this national suspicion, Chinese Americans were especially at risk of discrimination and sudden deportation. In the midst of this, there’s teenage girl - Lily Hu - coming to terms with her sexuality and falling in love for the first time.

The book is incredibly well researched, and it was cool to get the stories of other members of Lily’s family. It really rounded them out as characters, as people instead of plot devices.

I think this book is a great read for anyone coming to terms with their sexuality or people who enjoy reading coming of age. I’ve also always been really interested in the history of queer nightclubs during the 50s, as “safe spaces” and this book taught me a lot! (Not to mention the aesthetic is just gorgeous)

Summary:

“That book. It was about two women, and they fell in love with each other. And then Lily asked the question that had taken root in her, that was even now unfurling its leaves and demanding to be shown the sun: Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club.

America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day.”

TL;DR Two girls (one Chinese American, one white) fall in love at a gay nightclub in San Francisco during the 1950s amidst the Red Scare and fight to stay together despite their circumstances.

^lots of smoking & drinking in this book bc.. it was the 50s

So on to representation:

(Not really an own voices review, just saying what I noticed)

A good portion of the book takes place in Chinatown, either in Lily’s home or the greater community. Lily’s family celebrates the Chinese New Year while her best friend Shirley takes part in the Miss Chinatown Beauty pageant. The edge of Chinatown is located close to a gay nightclub called The Telegraph Club, and these are all historically accurate- the beauty pageant actually happened as an effort for the Chinese American community to better assimilate during the Red Scare.

There are moments when Lily is in predominantly white spaces that she has uncomfortable encounters with white queer people - they call her things like “China doll” as if it’s a compliment. Today this is definitely not okay to call someone, and even back then it made Lily uncomfortable, despite her wanting to fit in with those queer spaces. I think Malinda Lo did a really good job of showing this reality - the difficulty queer POC face when entering white queer spaces.

Kath, Lily’s love interest, is Italian. This isn’t touched on too much aside from sharing food from their respective cultures.

One thing I appreciated about the lgbtq+ rep in this book was it really addressed how difficult it is fight comphet, or compulsory heterosexuality. Even when someone isn’t in the closet, your family, friends, and community can try to force you back inside for their comfortability. What Lily and Kath go through is far from easy and reflects situations still faced by LGBTQ+ people today.

Finally, here’s a pic of some actual Ms. Chinatown contestants that was in the author’s bibliography/after notes (always read those!)

What I Loved:

For this book, I loved that it told more than one story. Sure, there’s the obvious storyline of Kath and Lily’s romance. But there’s also the story of Shirley and Lily’s tumultuous friendship, the story of Lily’s aunt and her life in a new country, the flashbacks to the story of Lily’s mother and father. There’s the story of Tommy Andrews, male impersonator and performer at The Telegraph Club, the story of queer women who boldly went out at night to an illegal establishment to watch those performances.

There’s the story of love in there because of this. All these people are tied together in such different ways, all just trying to love the best they can. I think that’s beautiful.

I also liked how the book didn’t idealize romance. There were times when Kath and Lily fought, when they made up, when they made out in janitor’s closets and it wasn’t at all like in the movies. They had to be vigilant with how they loved eachother, aware of every brush of their hands, and as a queer girl myself I felt really seen. It’s hard loving in a way that your world condemns as “wrong” or “sinful”. Especially as teenagers, when the LGBTQ+ scene is so dominated by adults, it’s difficult to find a place for us.

Back then, and now, it’s challenging to find spaces to celebrate queerness that aren’t also populated by mature themes (drinking, smoking, s*x, etc).

Note: Gay relationships are so taboo that society has dubbed them “mature content” to the point where a simple gesture like holding hands or a peck on the cheek can be labeled Rated R, making it hard for queer youth to preserve the innocent part of themselves and their relationships. Ex. People losing their minds over the lesbian grandmas from Lightyear.

The imagery was raw and there were definitely some scenes that left me emotional, especially when it came to Lily and her family/friends. Reconciling queer identity within communities of color is difficult because two kinds of love appear almost opposed to each other. Lily’s struggle with this hit close to home for me.

^my face during every scene where Shirley was talking (ily Lan Wangji😭)

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Honesty it came down to pacing. There were some parts where I felt the story was moving too slowly, or that certain copious amounts of detail were unnecessary and detracted from figuring out what was going on. At times I simply felt bored, because a page or two read like a history textbook or article. I understand needing to set the scene with historical fiction, but placing that in the middle of something happening took me out of the moment. I felt like it could have been better done if a character had given that background in dialogue (shorter) or if it was at the beginning of the scene. Putting it in the middle made it feel abrupt, and having a mini history lesson as one character’s thoughts (?) read more like the author trying to give me all of this (admittedly interesting) information about the event and political environment of the time.

I appreciate it, but here there’s a time and a place and I felt like it could have been done separately. That being said, I am in awe of how much effort was put into researching. This is by far one of the best researched historical fiction books I’ve ever read - I enjoyed reading the author’s note a lot!

I sincerely recommend to:

History buffs (especially if you’re curious about Chinese American/queer history)🔎

Fans of historical fiction novels (ex. Number the Stars, Promises to the Dead)📕

Fans of Luck of the Titanic/The Downstairs Girl by Stacey Lee 🚢

Closeted gay people (get a false cover if you need to!)🚪

Anyone looking to diversify their LGBTQ+ reading selection (y’all can’t all just be reading The Ones We Burn 🤢)

In hindsight, it could be that the background felt abrupt because I haven’t read historical fiction in a while - can’t even think of a time when I’ve read queer historical fiction before! Grateful to Lo for bringing this much needed representation ❤️

Overall, it was a good book and I enjoyed it! It definitely reinforced by desire to move to California (rip to my wallet) 🕊 Lily is a space nerd like me so that was awesome too 🪐

I also made a Pinterest board for this book since I kept thinking about it, here are some of my favorite additions:

“The vast majority of fiction about queer women is contemporary because until very recently, most people denied the fact that queer people even existed before modern times. Historical fiction in America and in the West is certainly very white-centric - just like all fiction - and I’d definitely love to read more historical fiction about queer people of color.”

- Malinda Lo, author of Last Night At the Telegraph Club

[jaanusbooktalk]

Rise To The Sun by Leah Johnson - Book Review

9/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: parental loss, gun violence, panic attacks, non-consensual image sharing

(TWs are in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

I finished Rise to the Sun 2000 miles in the air somewhere above the southeastern United States. I was, literally, rising to the sun. This book touched my heart in so many ways, and there is a disturbing lack of Pinterest boards about it? (Someone needs to get on that, asap).

I feel so lucky to have read so many amazing books about queer POC this summer, and this one is definitely at the top of that list. It’s been a long time since a book made me laugh out loud at a joke or exclaim “SERIOUSLY?” at a plot twist. A long time since I’ve felt in conversation with the characters instead of just watching them. Olivia and Toni truly warmed my heart (and convinced me to have an appreciation for live music despite having a general fear of crowds). If you’re a music fan, a festival fan, a romantic, or all of the above this is for you!

Summary:

“Three days. Two girls. One life-changing music festival.

Olivia is an expert at falling in love . . . and at being dumped. But after the fallout from her last breakup has left her an outcast at school and at home, she’s determined to turn over a new leaf. A crush-free weekend at Farmland Music and Arts Festival with her best friend is just what she needs to get her mind off the senior year that awaits her.

Toni is one week away from starting college, and it’s the last place she wants to be. Unsure about who she wants to become and still reeling in the wake of the loss of her musician-turned-roadie father, she’s heading back to the music festival that changed his life in hopes that following in his footsteps will help her find her own way forward.

When the two arrive at Farmland, the last thing they expect is to realize that they’ll need to join forces in order to get what they’re searching for out of the weekend. As they work together, the festival becomes so much more complicated than they bargained for, and Olivia and Toni will find that they need each other, and music, more than they ever could have imagined.”

TL;DR Two girls have a chance meeting at a music festival in northern Georgia and end up getting way more than either of them bargained for.

Let’s talk representation:

This section is gonna be short - not for lack of rep but bc it’s pretty simple and I’m sleepy. This is not really an own voices review, so this is just listing the representation I saw and not my take on it.

Olivia and Toni are both queer Black girls (Olivia is going into her senior year of highschool and Toni into her freshman year of college).

Imani & Peter, the respective best friends, are also of color (not gonna elaborate on rep here bc spoilers).

I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, so I can affirm that from my POV the wlw rep was good - realistic. It didn’t portray the relationship as something perfect or overly dramatic - it was like any other love story in all the best ways: flawed.

There is a character who experiences panic attacks, so 1. Please take those content warnings seriously (listed at the beginning of the book) 2. It’s accurate, painfully so.

And ofc I’m not gonna review a book by an author that isn’t of the communities they’re writing about, so this is an “Own Voices” book🤗

What I Liked:

Whewww 😮‍💨 I could talk about this book for ages. To start, let’s talk about character development. When I say flawed characters I mean flawed characters and I loved seeing their growth and knowing that it didn’t need to all work out in the end, they would keep working with what they had.

Clear communication, good messages about life & living in the moment, some close to home moments for American readers dealing with the regular gun violence here, the works.

Rise to the Sun was written during quarantine and I think that’s part of why it inspires me so much- it makes me happy to know that during one of the loneliest times in the nation someone was able to write a love story this beautiful, celebrating human connection - the one thing we were missing so desperately.

There’s a special place in my heart for queer love stories involving music, especially duos. Maybe it’s the ex. choir kid talking, but someone singing a song with you is such an intimate and massive thing at the same time, & I think that captures music festivals perfectly.

I also really really can’t wait for the pandemic to be over now so I can go to my first concert! The last music festival I went to was a Reggae festival a couple towns over & though I don’t remember enough, this book awakened some good memories 🎶

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Full disclosure, I was sure this was going to be a ten for over half the book. Olivia’s character was well done, I thought, because yes she was flawed but I was sure she was going to have a moment of realization/redemption. That moment came… but it wasn’t equal to the level of problem if that makes sense? Which has honestly been my problem with some books in the past.

I understand she has low self esteem and has been going thru it, but her automatic response to [redacted for spoilers] was uncomfortable. I had to put down the book and take a break, and convince myself to finish. I’m glad I did, but that was a major almost DNF moment. I think Olivia had some deeper problems beyond just being selfish and those weren’t really addressed? I would recommend therapy 😭

I’m so grateful for Imani’s character for calling stuff out and showing that friendships can be … complicated and definitely far from perfect. She deserved better.

I’m glad Olivia got her HEA but at the same time I wasn’t rooting for her as much by the time we got there. This was just my personal take on it so others may feel differently though, and I understand that!

It took a point off but overall I’m happy I finished the book and I loved how sincerely hopeful it was. Truly Rising To The Sun.

I sincerely recommend this to:

Fans of Nicola Yoon (The Sun Is Also A Star, Everything Everything) ⭐️

People who are obsessed with Woodstock & music history 📖

Queer musicians 🏳️‍🌈

Folk music enthusiasts 🪕

Rupi Kaur fans (specifically her book Sunflower) 🌻

People who have seen Heartstopper📺

I promise you won’t regret picking up this book! Definitely check out some of the quotes if you get the chance😍

(I also have a lot of drafts for reviews so there will be more coming soon after I finish my library books 😅)

[jaanusbooktalk]

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi - Book Review

9.5/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

TWs: car accident, cursing, sexism, panic attacks, abandonment

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Summary

“The first time Sana Khan asked out a girl-Rachel Recht--it went so badly that she never did it again. Rachel is a film buff and aspiring director, and she's seen Carrie enough times to learn you can never trust cheerleaders (and beautiful people). Rachel was furious that Sana tried to prank her by asking her on a date.

But when it comes time for Rachel to cast her senior project, she realizes that there's no more perfect lead than Sana--the girl she's sneered at in the halls for the past three years. And poor Sana--she says yes. She never did really get over that first crush, even if Rachel can barely stand to be in the same room as her.

Told in alternative viewpoints and set against the backdrop of Los Angeles in the springtime, when the rainy season rolls in and the Santa Ana's can still blow--these two girls are about to learn that in the city of dreams, anything is possible--even love.”

TL;DR Tell Me How You Really Feel is an ode to romantic comedies, following two girls on opposite sides of the social scale as they work together to make a movie and try very hard not to fall in love. Cheerleader meets film nerd, enemies to lovers.

I found this book through one of those tik tok videos where someone is flinging books off a pile at light speed under a caption “queer SA (South Asian) books you need to read”. I absolutely love those videos, even though they test my screenshotting abilities.

It’s been a while since I updated this blog(?) and that’s because I’ve been very busy finishing out the school year and reading every gay book I could get my hands on over the course of pride month. I will be posting reviews of those books soon, but in a quick review so far this month I’ve read:

• Last Night At The Telegraph Club

• Unearthed (graphic novel)

• Café con Leche

• Eighty Days (graphic novel)

• Tell Me How You Really Feel (this review!)

• The Raven Cycle (yes all 4 books, no I will not be reviewing)

Honorable mention: All 50 episodes of The Untamed (SUCH a good cdrama) & Season 1 of Stranger Things

I’ve realized over the course of this book binge that I prefer my enemies to lovers to have good reasoning - or at least understandable reasoning on both sides. My favorite part is seeing how that can morph into love without either realizing until it’s too late *cue evil laughter*

Tell Me How You Really Feel does that perfectly. I especially loved how it was written - the characters were flawed, raw and dynamic, and the writing style reminded me of books by Nicola Yoon (The Sun is Also a Star, Everything Everything). The romance isn’t necessarily the focus - it’s shoved in on the shelf along with everything else happening in the characters lives. The story simply starts (ish) and ends with the life of their romance within that.

And because this is a gay high school romance between a cheerleader and a film nerd, of course there are a million movie references, from Pakeezah to Pretty in Pink.

Meena Kumari 😩🧎🏽‍♀️

But real quick, let’s talk

Representation

Sana Khan and Rachel Recht, the main characters, are both into women. Although their sexualities aren’t explicitly stated, this part is made very clear.

Sana is desi, and Persian and Indian if I remember correctly? Her family is very mixed and has a lot of languages (Bengali, Urdu, Arabic, Persian, French, etc). She is second-gen American, while I’m pretty sure Rachel is first-gen (at least on her mom’s side).

Rachel is Mexican and Jewish, and her family consists of just her and her father (and their larger community) in comparison to Sana’s many cousins and aunties/uncles. Her full name is Rachel Consuela Recht, which I’m guessing is to show her mixed cultures.

For Sana I can somewhat call this an own voices review on representation, but please keep in mind the Indian (and larger desi community) is not a monolith & we won’t all agree on my own interpretation.

What I really liked about representation for Sana and her family was it is very women-centric. Her grandmother, Mamani, is very clearly the matriarch, and Farrah, Sana’s mom, is a single mother working in the film industry. In western literature desi culture is typically portrayed as oppressing women, especially in Muslim households, but this stereotype is flipped on its head by Sana’s family. It also showed how within a religion certain family members can be more religious than others - Sana & her Mamani are more religious (praying regularly, not drinking, etc) while Farrah is less so - and there’s no negative connotation on it.

Rachel and Sana both engage in religious holidays over the course of the book (Norwuz for Sana, Passover for Rachel). Since I’m neither Muslim or Jewish, it was interesting to learn more about the holidays and how they’re celebrated.

Single parenting rep (Rachel raised by her dad, Sana raised by her mom) was also really good. As someone being raised by a single mom & at one point a single dad, the struggle is portrayed really well.

Finally, I love that Sana fills the character of pretty perfect Gilmore-girls-esque cheerleader. Brown women don’t often get to be portrayed as lovely and soft and also raw and real at the same time. It really hit my heart 💗 Sana’s features are seen as beautiful by everyone around her - like a commonly accepted fact. She’s the official “pretty girl” of her school - and so much more beneath that.

What I Loved:

Aside from the good rep, the way the book is written is just ✨ poetic ✨

“Sana smiled, and suddenly Rachel understood every stupid love poem comparing the beloved to the sun.”

HOW DO I RECOVER??

Mainly though, I think this book came at the right time for me. Sana’s situation was really relatable to me, and her storyline actually helped me figure out some stuff in my own life (no spoilers!)

If you’re worried about the future, or planning to become a doctor or lawyer - read this book.

I’m also a sucker for big movie style gestures so this was a plus. I could see how the book was going to end generally way before the end, and that made it more of a comfort read than an “intellectual” read. I loved the character development as well - some serious words of wisdom in there!

As someone who wants to go to college in LA, and can’t afford to visit, this is as close as it gets to seeing what life there is like for me 😂 I’m curious to see what those Santa Anas feel like!

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

I wasn’t the biggest fan of Rachel’s character to be honest. She hated Sana so much at the beginning, for something that had happened in their freshman year (the story takes place in their senior year). I could understand animosity, but it was another level. It made me think Rachel had anger issues - she seemed really self pitying and insecure. Which would have been fine - I’m all for character development - if she had realized that. But Rachel never seemed to come to terms with the fact that she had treated Sana like sh*t at every turn for nearly 4 years. It’s not that they don’t fall in love (this is a love story) but she doesn’t really feel remorseful for how she acted.

On set, when she’s directing the crew, the way she treated them reminded me of Michael Scott from the Office 😭

I also wish there had been more focus on the other characters in the book. Farrah, Sana’s mom, and Daniel, Rachel’s dad, kind of felt like glorified plot devices, especially near the end. Same goes for Diesel, Sana’s so-called best friend. We don’t actually see a lot of their relationship aside from Diesel giving her rides from school and then playing video games with her. In the end, his purpose was also a little plot device-y, a little serving the main ship, etc.

I liked that Diesel subverted the dumb insensitive jock trope, but I would have loved to see more of him and Maddie (another cheerleader)!

^unrelated but I love this scene (very scary cheerleader)

Overall, the book was a satisfying beach read (as in, I literally read it on the beach). Feel good, decent character development (on Sana’s part), and it gave me something I’d really been searching for: an enemies to lovers story between queer women of color in high school. Like babe- this is my niche!!

And yes, I cried at the end.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

The Sun is Also A Star

Everything Everything

Movies (if you’re a movie nerd, you’re going to get wayy more of these references than I did)

But I’m A Cheerleader (movie)

Sense 8 (show) especially if you like the wlw couple

Most of my reviews for this month are going to be LGBTQ+ stories between PoC 🏳️‍🌈 so stay tuned!

[jaanusbooktalk]

Kaleidoscope by Brian Selznick - Review

10/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: death of a friend, grief, loss

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

I know I said that I would mainly be reviewing books by POC, and this is going to be an exception - Brian Selznick is a white gay man, an illustrator, and a children’s book author. Kaleidoscope is centered around themes of love and loss, and also storytelling and fantasy elements like shipwrecks and giants and dragons.

I picked up Kaleidoscope on a whim after finding it in the library, and I was not disappointed. It’s not an anthology, per say, but rather a compilation of stories with reoccurring characters that grow more connected as you read on. By the end of the book I was nearly in tears, and you never even find out what the main character looks like or what their name is. I think this is fully intentional, so that anyone can enjoy the stories but also so that the main character can have free gender identity, allowing for queer love stories 🌈

I’m a sucker for these types of books when they’re done right, and Kaleidoscope absolutely absorbed me. Each story immediately pulls you in and doesn’t let go till the ending, and it always leaves you a little bit wanting for more. I would say it’s a book about people - everyday people who fall in love and shatter and pick up the pieces. It’s about kids looking at glow-in-the-dark stars on their bedroom walls, giants listening to distant stories, adventures to the moon and back, and how time changes us.

The summary:

“A ship. A garden. A library. A key. In Kaleidoscope, the incomparable Brian Selznick presents the story of two people bound to each other through time and space, memory and dreams. At the center of their relationship is a mystery about grief and love which will look different to each reader.”

(I’m going to skip the representation section since there isn’t explicit representation in the book aside from vaguely queer themes that in explaining would mean spoilers)

What I liked:

There’s a part in the summary where it says everyone will interpret this in their own way, and I agree. What I interpreted from the book may be entirely different from what another person sees, and that’s why this review is going to be shorter than my others - I can’t analyze it any further because no two people will see it the same. You simply have to read it.

The book is like a Kaleidoscope itself. I used to play with the plastic ones when I was younger, because you could win them as prizes at school. Turn it a fraction of a degree and you’ll see an entirely different picture. Throughout the book there are art pieces done by the author - a shattered, “Kaleidoscope” version and then the actual image.

These images corresponded to the following story, and helped me visualize what was taking place. As someone who reads to transport myself, Kaleidoscope was perfect. I adore books with worlds overlapping worlds, stories overlapping stories, yet still connecting somehow. I felt like that. Like I could connect.

What brought it to a 10:

For a book drawn in monochrome, Kaleidoscope’s descriptions are full of color. I aspire to write stories the way Brian Selznick does one day, stories that not just a picture but a world before your eyes.

While I was reading, the definition of sonder came to mind.

But I didn’t think it quite applied - I wondered if there was a definition like sonder that could apply to objects instead of humans. Recognizing that the items around you have lived a life far longer and more complex than your own. In Kaleidoscope, you get to witness that life. Countless lives, coming together and falling apart, in a great mix of shattered stories.

That’s what brought it to a 10 for me (and this is my own interpretation): each story is only a shattered piece of the whole. As the reader, you never get to fully see the whole story. I think this is Selznick’s way of telling us to choose our own ending. Write it if we wish. Piece it together, make it your own, because stories are means to grow and change with time.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

• The Starless Sea 🌊 by Erin Morgenstern

• The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen 🌈

• Fairytales (in general)

• James and the Giant Peach

• BFG (Big Friendly Giant)

It’s a quick, sincere read and I hope you’ll enjoy it! Don’t forget to continue supporting queer and BIPOC authors ❤️and take care of yourself 🌺

[jaanusbooktalk]

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse - Review

10/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: child abuse, self harm/mention of suicide, blood & violence, mention of child prostitution, death of a mother, discrimination based on origin, ableism

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

I am never getting over this. This book is one I am pushing onto everyone I know and even the people I don’t - I don’t even know where to begin this review because there is so much I loved.

I guess I can start by saying that epic fantasy as a genre was almost always based in Europe when I was younger. The representation I saw was few and far between (I’m looking at you, Parvati Patil). So let me tell you something refreshing:

This is an epic fantasy and there are no white people.

Read that again^

In the world of fantasy books, especially ones as intricate as this, it’s such a beautiful thing to see. Black Sun is set in the pre-Colombian Americas - AKA before the smelly colonizers ever set foot on the continent 🍅🍅🍅

Everyone. Is. Brown. And it’s glorious.

^I’m gonna amend this to say Black & brown because of some of the character descriptions but the point stands. Glorious.

It covers switching perspectives between four main characters: Xiala, the captain of a ship destined to deliver the Crow god, Serapio, the Crow god (ish?), Naranpa, the Sun Priest, and Okoa, the son of the leader of Carrion Crow (one of the four peoples in Tova).

You will fall in love with each and every one of them. 😩😩

(Also there’s crows. Lots and lots of crows)

The summary:

A god will return

When the earth and sky converge

Under the black sun

“In the holy city of Tova three lives are converging during a solar eclipse, proscribed by the Sun Priest as an unbalancing of the world.

Meanwhile, a ship launches from a distant city bound for Tova and set to arrive on the solstice. The captain of the ship, Xiala, is a disgraced Teek whose song can calm the waters around her as easily as it can warp a man’s mind. Her ship carries one passenger. Described as “harmless”, the passenger, Serapio, is a young man, blind, scarred, and cloaked in destiny. As Xiala well knows, when a man is described as harmless, he usually ends up being the villain.”

Featuring a morally gray villain I love right here btw:

So on to representation:

Once again, this is not my culture so I am looking from an outside perspective - this is just what I appreciated.

Firstly, Rebecca Roanhorse is half African American, and of Ohkay Owingeh Pueblo descent (though not an enrolled tribal member). I would never review a book based so deeply in Native culture if it was written by a white person (this goes for any and all books written about BIPOC culture by yt ppl - including City of Brass).

The diversity of skin tones, ethnicity, language, and dress is so beautifully done. There are many many dark skinned characters of varying shades and hair textures. These are rich empires and each has their own unique culture and traditions. The detail that Roanhorse has used to create this world is truly breathtaking.

She also did a ton of research before writing Serapio’s character - he is blind and she put in a lot of effort to make sure she avoided tropes and stereotypes (talked about in the author’s note).

In addition, the representation of queer characters is very well done - there’s those who identify with a third gender, main characters who use neopronouns (such as xe/xir), and at least one canonically trans character 🏳️‍⚧️ (mtf) in a happy and healthy relationship. Western labels aren’t used (such as pansexual, lesbian, etc) and the author conveys these orientations & more perfectly without them.

The author says in the author’s note (always read those!!) that she mixed together some of the indigenous empires in the pre-Colombian Americas to create the world of Black Sun. There is no racism & slight homophobia and sexism present, but largely it is a fictional world where people simply have more to worry about than whether their leaders are women or men or neither.

Characters coming from regions where they are unaware of a third gender etc. take it in stride and learn as they go, and I appreciated that because it shows the ability to accept others for who they are even if you don’t understand at first.

What I Liked:

I’ll admit - it normally takes me a while to catch on to the language of fantasy worlds and their structure. But Black Sun made it so easy I didn’t even notice because I was too invested in the plot.

Right off the bat I’ll say my favorite characters are Xiala and Naranpa 💫

I liked Naranpa because I related to her, since she left her home and people and culture at a young age to go serve in the tower among the privileged “Sky Made”. She was not welcomed with open arms and struggled because of her origin and because people didn’t like how high she was climbing (sucks for them, she became the Sun Priest, the highest position there😜). Naranpa also has big dreams and is trying her best to save a city (Tova) that doesn’t love her back. I honestly wish I didn’t relate to her as much as I did because my girl is not doing so great… anyways.

Xiala is a straight up baddie 🔥 and she is Teek, meaning she’s from a mysterious island no one can ever reach where only women live, rumored to be children of the Sea herself 🌊 . I adore Xiala because she doesn’t care what people think and is just trying to drink herself into an early grave but somehow ends up getting hauled into villainous plots with high stakes. She also has no preferences when it comes to gender - as long as they’re hot. Xiala has a quick wit and dirty mouth, but she’s also willing to get soft with those she trusts. I enjoyed reading her point of view chapters the most!

To avoid making this too long I’ll leave a bullet list of everything else I liked (no spoilers!):

• Consent is key 🔑 and this is respected

• Representation: gay & trans BIPOC, disability rep., dark skin rep.

• The plot is so intricate and it keeps you guessing - I had no idea how this was going to end

• The romance (only one or two relationships but my standards are infinitely higher now)

• The characters are so flawed and real that you are rooting for them even as they make terrible decisions

• Detailed writing and the prose is BEAUTIFUL

Ex. “Star pollen clung like shattered light to his wet skin in a fine sheen of silver dust.”

• Morally grey characters

^how I imagine Naranpa looks

What brought this book to a ten:

Black Sun does something that I have only found in a few fantasy novels. Not only does it give us a whole world with diverse characters from different backgrounds with gripping struggles, but it’s full of wisdom than can be applied to real life as well. I found myself learning lessons about how to interact with difficult situations in predominantly white spaces from Naranpa, who is surrounded by those who grew up more privileged than her. I learned about loving and letting go from Xiala and all the Teek sayings at the beginnings of chapters.

I came away from this book not only feeling the joy of good representation but also knowing that it has changed the way I see the world if not slightly. That is the most valuable kind of reading experience I can ask for.

Here’s some of my favorite fanart I found of the characters online!

Xiala

Naranpa

Serapio

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

Mirage by Somaiya Daud💕

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia🔑

Cemetery Boys by Aidan Thomas👻

Ana Mendieta’s works (a Cuban American artist who worked with fire and earth)🔥

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland🖤

Note: Black Sun is the first in a trilogy called Between Earth and Sky, but I feel like it can be read as a stand-alone (depending on how invested you are). The second book is called Fevered Star and I will absolutely be buying it ASAP. I can’t wait to see where it goes!

Happy reading ☀️ and remember…

[jaanusbooktalk]

Hunted By The Sky by Tanaz Bhathena - Review

7/10⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: murdered parents, violence, discrimination (classism, slurs), implied sexual assault, attempted assault, dying parent, animal cruelty, blood

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Before anything, take a moment to scroll back up and look at that beautiful cover 😍 I don’t normally buy books based on the cover, but seeing my culture represented in such a gorgeous way made this an insta-buy for me (not to mention it was already in my TBR).

I guess I could call this an “own voices” review, but let’s keep in mind that Indian culture is very diverse and changes depending on region, so my interpretation is not going to speak for anyone but myself.

The author was actually inspired to write this book by two time periods in Indian history - Vedic India and medieval India. There’s a cool combination of court drama and desi royalty versus magical powers and distant gods. Bhathena also included elements of her Persian culture as well!

Imagine fantasy meets Indian royalty/mythology in a mystical world after a war and a 16 year old has to overthrow a tyrant. (Also enemies to lovers, badass women, ✨culture✨ etc).

On to the review ☀️

The Summary:

“Gul has spent her life running. She has a star-shaped birthmark on her arm, and in the kingdom of Ambar, girls with such birthmarks have been disappearing for years. Gul's mark is what caused her parents' murder at the hand of King Lohar's ruthless soldiers and forced her into hiding to protect her own life. So when a group of rebel women called the Sisters of the Golden Lotus rescue her, take her in, and train her in warrior magic, Gul wants only one thing: revenge.

Cavas lives in the tenements, and he's just about ready to sign his life over to the king's army. His father is terminally ill, and Cavas will do anything to save him. But sparks fly when he meets a mysterious girl--Gul--in the capital's bazaar, and as the chemistry between them undeniably grows, he becomes entangled in a mission of vengeance--and discovers a magic he never expected to find.

Dangerous circumstances have brought Gul and Cavas together at the king's domain in Ambar Fort . . . a world with secrets deadlier than their own. Exploring identity, class struggles, and high-stakes romance, Hunted by the Sky is a gripping adventure set in a world inspired by medieval India.”

TL;DR 16 year old Gul witnesses her parents’ murder by royal troops under order from a king terrified of a prophecy that spells his end, and she’s set on a path to revenge. Cavas is trying to save his father from a chronic illness and lives in the lower class of society just trying to survive, but when he meets Gul sparks fly and adventure ensues.

(It’s 1:30 am right now so please bear with me 😭)

Ok so on representation:

This is embarrassing - like really embarrassing especially considering I read the summary - that when I first started because of the switching perspectives I thought that Cavas was Gul for the first two chapters and that the main character was into women 😭 alas, this was not the case.

While the main couple is not confirmed to be LGBTQ+, much of the lore is. The story of the sun and the moon being lovers is so adorable and told in such a beautiful, simple way. There are queer background characters, and it’s not introduced in a weird way, it’s just a natural part of the world they live in (which was so great).

As someone who reads fantasy for escapism, reading this and knowing there was no racism or homophobia was a big plus for me ✅

Also Gul is dark skinned (from a fictional world but presumably Indian) with curly dark hair. I loved this because Indians with natural curly dark hair are not often represented in media, so this was great!!

I had trouble picturing what Cavas looks like, but I remember he’s also desi and has dark brown eyes and black hair. I didn’t know what “aquiline” meant before reading HBTS but apparently it means hooked or beak-like, and I think it’s a really pretty word for Cavas’s nose.

There was clear influence from Indian mythology and the Hindu gods, but also from traditional mythical creatures and foods. Even the outfits are fantastic- I can’t explain how it felt to read about a character getting ready for an event and pinning her dupatta in place. My heart felt warm and seen 💕💕

There is also (if I’m interpreting this right) a variety of religions present in the fictional world, some of which are similar to Islam, Hinduism, or Atheism today.

I loved how despite these different beliefs, people are able to get along. It’s more so the border disputes between rivaling kingdoms that cause trouble.

Imagining Gul running through the palace in a sari and her brown jootis just fulfills all of my childhood Bollywood dreams ❤️😭

What I Liked:

I didn’t think I was going to like this book as much as I did. When it first started, I had a hard time getting into it, and it felt a little slow. But about a quarter in things started picking up - and quickly. I really liked how HBTS avoided some of the typical pitfalls of YA fantasy when it comes to overthrowing governments/the chosen one trope.

Also the story just starts to pull you in and you can’t tell the writer is in her groove. I liked all of the references to desi culture and the clothing, and the imagery was really pretty. Diversity in fantasy means so much to me - more than just being represented in books we get to have magic and adventures and romance too, and I adore that.

I feel like it would make a really good movie, and also the WOMEN are so great. Every single woman in this book is very well written and what I would give to have Amira call me princess 😍 anyways… 👀

I’m actually about to read the second book (this is a duology!) because I’m way too invested in the plot now.

HBTS switches perspectives between Cavas and Gul, and I honestly found Cavas’s perspective more refreshing - maybe because he was more mature than Gul or because I related to him more, but he just had more interesting thoughts 💭

I also didn’t really like Gul at the beginning, but I stuck around to see if she got character development and Ms. Bhathena did NOT disappoint. I can’t wait to see how she changes from here.

Side note: Hunted By The Sky handles classism in a really interesting way, and it makes me so happy that it was printed in India because there’s an inter-class relationship & that’s a really important convo that needs to be had

Side side note: INDIAN MAGICAL GIRLS‼️

Why I couldn’t give it a ten:

I already mentioned this but I just had a hard time getting into it at first. There was a lot of lore specific/culture specific vocab that I wasn’t familiar with (but there is a glossary of terms at the back!)

This happens often when starting fantasy books, but the time it took to wrap my head around the world and who was who took longer than usual because new positions and groups kept being introduced.

Also, at the beginning Gul was kinda selfish and even though I really wanted to be on her side her actions were thoughtless. Her attitude when she was ten came off less as an actual ten year old and more as an older girl pretending to be a ten year old. She’s obviously not meant to be perfect however, and that’s okay. Her character development makes up for it.

Now this is a really big pitfall for YA fantasy romance and I can’t stand it:

Gul, the main character, has just turned 16. She never actually has sex but she gets into certain encounters that I felt uncomfortable reading about, knowing it was happening between two minors and written BY an adult.

Sadly, this is a common thing in YA fantasy (I’m looking at you, Sarah J. Maas). Oversexualizing minors in YA books needs to stop because it has a big impact on the kids reading - it wasn’t too bad in this book, so I still gave it 7/10. But please, do better.

Also tell me why enemies to lovers couples are always emotionally constipated 🙄 just tell each other how you feel already!! Communication, guys.

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

• The Shadow of the Fox series 🦊 by Julie Kagawa

• Tomi Adeyemi (Children of Blood and Bone)

• Sabaa Tahir (An Ember in the Ashes)

• Jodhaa Akbar (Bollywood movie)

• Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim

Despite its faults, I sincerely enjoyed this book enough to check out the second. I’ll comment an update when I’ve finished but I don’t know if I’ll give it a review. This was one of those books that I wish I had liked more because of the representation it brought to the table, and I think that it’s a genuinely good book, that fell into some difficult traps. Still worth the read 🍵

And as always, read the acknowledgments and author’s note!! They’re usually really sweet or include things about the book you didn’t know when you finished. Because it’s spoiler free and I really liked it, I’ve included Tanaz Bhathena’s note below:

Kinda badass ngl

Also if you aren’t familiar with the Gulabi Gang, please search them up and watch the documentary because they are so cool!!! A group of older Indian ladies who go around wearing pink and beating up domestic abusers.

I also really like that she describes the story as a brief journey through her twisted imagination - it deals with some rough and violent themes, and I feel like that fits. Excited to see what happens in the sequel! It’s called Rising Like A Storm ⛈

[jaanusbooktalk]

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen - Review

9/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: Homophobia, a character being outed, fleeing war, death, cannibalism

(TWs are ranked in order of severity, please take them seriously!)

Full disclosure: I cried.

And not in a cute, oh there’s a single tear running down my face, way. I’m talking full on “ugly crying in a bathroom stall after a break up” crying. And it’s not even a very sad book! It just hit really hard for me (and at this point you’re free to skip to the actual review this is just an over share) because I had just come out as lesbian to my grandma the previous night - not intentionally, but I had been told by relatives that she already knew because I’d tried before, so I mentioned it in passing and ended up having to come out all over again. I cried a lot that night, and she said it was fine but she wouldn’t look at me.

My grandma is Catholic, and similar to Tiến Phong, the main character, I grew up religious and going to Christian preschool and high school. The book deals with themes of homophobia as Tiến struggles to come out to his parents, but because of the language barrier he’s not sure how. Being a child of immigrants means wanting to do your best by your parents - I’ve always been afraid of disappointing them, and coming out felt like that. I could relate a lot to Tiến and his fears, and I’m gonna stress again to take those trigger warnings seriously.

So yeah, I cried, but at the end of the book I felt more whole than I’d felt coming into it. It’s a love letter to queer BIPOC, especially those of us who are first gen, and it was definitely what I needed at that moment.

I don’t actually read a lot of graphic novels, but The Magic Fish has convinced me to start.

So on to representation 🌈

I loved the representation in this book, and I couldn’t understand why until I read the author’s note at the end. Trung Le Nguyen originally started off trying to write a “very small story”. He talks about how with immigrant stories, they’re written as if everything in the story is supposed to orbit around that one aspect - it eclipses everything else. He also writes that readers will often intellectualize the immigrant experience, and how they often “start and end with an exodus” seldom acknowledging ‘the before’ and ‘the after’ as more than that. Trung Le Nguyen said he wanted to decenter the gravity of marginalization and focus on one of the little pieces in its orbit - and that’s where it hit for me.

In my hands I finally had a story about immigration from Asia, and the queer Asian diaspora, and it wasn’t centered around our pain. It wasn’t created to be!

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s important to talk about the immigrant struggle, but in the process the stories of immigrants and their families sometimes get reduced into archetypes - I was tired of looking for representation only to end up reading more about our pain and I wanted to read about our joy for once. This is the book.

Tiến’s story isn’t all about his struggle as a first generation American or even about coming out, it’s about the stories that connect him with his family, it’s about languages and how they can mix together in beautiful ways, it’s about friends and accepting each other.

What I liked:

I think stories were a great metaphor in this book.

Tiến reads his mother traditional Western fairytales as a way of bonding and helping her learn English, and some of them are similar to traditional Vietnamese fairytales that she remembers from her own childhood. In this way, a story becomes something that can transplant across continents and change shape to its new environment, and that’s a beautiful thing.

In TMF, stories become a metaphor for immigration. Tiến’s relationship to his culture and his experiences of community will be different from his parents, and his parents will have a different experience as immigrants than their own siblings back in Vietnam. They still find ways to connect, despite having different experiences and ways of communication. It made me realize that I can still communicate with my family that doesn’t speak English, we just have a different way of talking unique to us. And it’s not always verbal. Sometimes it’s just spending time together.

Also, the art was AMAZING. Some of the panels were drawn traditionally, others digitally, but the detail is gorgeous. I feel bad for the artist’s wrist after all that stippling (a drawing technique where you add texture by making many many tiny dots). The amount of research and effort put into the outfits and dresses alone is insane. To produce an entire graphic novel like that, writing and drawing every scene, is a huge undertaking!! I’ll show one of the panels (no spoilers) below:

Isn’t this BEAUTIFUL? 😍😍

I loved how the artist blended traditional clothes with the stories depending on who reads them.

Side note: (minor spoilers?)another thing I loved was how this book approached queerness, and how falling for someone who doesn’t like you back doesn’t have to end your relationship with them. sometimes that’s just how sexuality goes!

So true Sebastian 😭

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

Honestly, this came really close to being a ten. The main factors against it were just:

1. I’m not used to reading graphic novels, and I wanted to slow down and look at each page but also get on with the story? There was a lot happening at once, so it was slightly overwhelming.

2. It was a little hard for me to get into at the beginning because the wording was a little vague and I couldn’t tell where the story was going. I think in hindsight it’s because the story isn’t being told linearly, like in Western storytelling, but in a more slice-of-life way, where you’re seeing a lot of different stories and the whole picture is slowly revealed.

Again, these were mainly personal things that I struggled with, but I know some experienced comic readers who had no problems and thoroughly enjoyed TMF!

Edit: I just looked it up and realized that TMF is semi-autobiographical so now I feel bad for criticizing it 😂

I Sincerely Recommend to Fans of:

• Fairytales (very specific ik)

• The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern

• Anything gay (this is for LGBTQ+ ppl - straight ppl who like reading gay stories, you are seen and suspected)

Finally, this isn’t from the actual story but it was in the author’s note (always read the author’s note and acknowledgements people!!) and it was so beautiful I just had to share.

The detail, the colors, the dress itself is gorgeous. I’m absolutely in love. Officially going to read more comic books from here on out!

^The vibe TMF gives me

(Unrelated but why are there so many n@ked ppl every time I search for gifs 💀 it’s so awkward cause I’ll just keep scrolling like “oops” & they’re just THERE)

[jaanusbooktalk]

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - Review

8.8/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: Graphic violence, death, misogyny, ritualistic self-harm, abuse (from grandparent & cousin), colorism, animal death

TWs are ranked in order of severity (please take them seriously!)

I’m a little bit annoyed writing this review (no fault of the book) just because I had already gotten halfway through and tumblr deleted the entire thing 😭 so I’m now starting all over. That’s why it took so long for me to update again, because the moment I saw it was gone all my motivation left my body like water evaporates in a desert 💀 but I’m back, because I feel like this book is too good to not talk about - imagine the Jazz Age meets indigenous Mexican mythology meets right person wrong time!!

I’ll start off by saying this is the first book I’ve consciously annotated, since I found so many amazing lines and parts that made my heart flutter 🦋 I’m also going to talk about representation in this review (like I do in all of them) but this is coming from an outside perspective: this is not my culture or language, I am just sharing what I’ve noticed. I’ll be sharing some of my personal favorite quotes from this book as we go (warnings for spoilers will be posted beforehand!)

I barely remember what I wrote before so here goes nothing haha

The Summary:

“The Jazz Age is a time of daring dances and fast music, but not for Casiopea Tun. She is stuck in her dusty small town, performing menial chores, until the day when she opens a curious wooden box - and accidentally frees an imprisoned deity. In the company of the strangely alluring god and armed only with her wits, Casiopea begins an adventure replete with malicious ghosts, shape-changing sorcerers, and powerful magic. Her cross-country odyssey will take her from the jungles of Yucatán to the bright lights of Mexico Cjty - and deep into the darkness of the Mayan underworld.”

TL;DR A young woman and a Mayan death god embark on a life-changing journey in this one-of-a-kind fairy tale inspired by Mexican folklore.

I found this book at Politics and Prose bookstore (amazing chain) and fell in love - it had already been on my TBR, but just look at that cover! Seeing my kind of nose represented on a cover made me really happy! (Representation matters🥰🥰)

I was interested in checking out some Mexican mythology and I love when magic and the supernatural can combine with historical settings - it always makes the story super interesting. The story mainly occurs in Mexico but also crosses the border into the US eventually! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel🍀

Silvia Moreno-Garcia is also the author of:

The Beautiful Ones

Certain Dark Things

Signal to Noise

Untamed Shore

Mexican Gothic

^live footage of me trying to find the draft of this post

There is so so much I loved about this book but I’ll try to keep it short. First off, on representation, Casiopea (main character) is a dark skinned Latina, with indigenous ancestry from her father. She grew up learning about constellations from him, and more about her culture - like the stories about the Hero Twins and the gods of the Mayan underworld.

The gods are also dark skinned, and extremely handsome (this alone made me so happy, because darker skinned POC rarely get described as handsome in a divine way) and there is a lot of positive representation in that area. Casiopea struggles with the colorism she faces from the rest of her family and as a result doesn’t consider herself very beautiful (even though she is). Throughout the book Casiopea begins to learn who she is away from her family & starts to love herself more 💗

What I liked:

Instead of the usual paragraphs I’ll show you some quotes I loved - because for me what made this book great was the prose and there’s no way to talk about that except to show you 😊 also this section ALSO deleted right after I finished it and I have no energy left.

//Spoilers ahead//

//Spoilers over//

One of my favorite parts of the book was the relationship between Hun-Kamé(the Mayan death god) and Casiopea. It’s sort of like someone who has experienced a lot of the world and become jaded and numb is connected to someone who is experiencing the world for the first time. She helps him see it through new eyes and softens him, and he helps her find her footing in the fast paced world so different from her home.

I feel like Casiopea was really independent, which is why some people call it a “feminist” novel, but I think above all it’s a coming of age novel. There is an ongoing contrast between Casiopea’s youth and the ageless god’s view of the world. Her decisions are influenced by her youth and mortality, two things that Hun-Kamé struggles to understand.

Why I couldn’t give it a 10:

I can’t put my finger on anything specific, but I had a hard time getting drawn into the magic of the world. I also wished I could have seen more on Casiopea’s development as a character, since women in mythology tend to serve merely sacrificial or symbolic roles, and the story stresses that her being a woman plays a large role in her centrality to the story. Also, she didn’t seem to have a motivation other than “freedom”, so I’m hoping to see how her character develops with that freedom in a sequel. Nevertheless, I really want to read the sequel!(Hoping there is one)

I sincerely recommend to fans of:

• Kamisama Kiss (anime)

• Inuyasha (anime)

• Goblin/ Guardian: The Lonely and Great God (kdrama)

The book was inspired by the story of Popol Vuh, a Mayan story about the creation and the Hero Twins who journey to Xibalba, the underworld. I really enjoyed learning more about Mexican and Mayan culture and language, and this has inspired me to check out another book by the author, Mexican Gothic!

💗💗 this definitely won’t be the last book by Silvia Moreno-Garcia that I pick up!

[jaanusbooktalk]

Mirage by Somaiya Daud - Review

10/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

TWs: Colonialism, ethnic discrimination, violence, kidnapping

(TWs are ranked in order of severity)

I didn’t think I’d be giving a book 10/10 this early, but here we are. I am blown away. Every once in a while you pick up a book that is so absolutely stunning and riveting that it’s basically glued to your side. This is one of those books. The diversity, the characters, the culture, the romance, THE POETRY puts this debut novel by Somaiya Daud right up there with We Free the Stars by Hafsah Faizal (also amazing, please check it out!)

The Summary:

“In a star system dominated by the brutal Vathek empire, eighteen-year-old Amani is a dreamer. She dreams of what life was like before the occupation; she dreams of writing poetry like the old-world poems she adores; she dreams of receiving a sign from Dihya that one day, she, too, will have adventure, and travel beyond her isolated moon.

But when adventure comes for Amani, it is not what she expects: she is kidnapped by the regime and taken in secret to the royal palace, where she discovers that she is nearly identical to the cruel half-Vathek Princess Maram. The princess is so hated by her conquered people that she requires a body double, someone to appear in public as Maram, ready to die in her place.

As Amani is forced into her new role, she can’t help but enjoy the palace’s beauty—and her time with the princess’ fiancé, Idris. But the glitter of the royal court belies a world of violence and fear. If Amani ever wishes to see her family again, she must play the princess to perfection...because one wrong move could lead to her death.”

TL;DR A village girl is abducted from home by the conquerors of her planet (the Vathek) to become a body-double for the Vathek princess. She starts to fall in love with the princess’s fiancé, but her life depends on convincing everyone that she is who she’s pretending to be.

I found this book through a tik tok video from @fawfal who never fails to give the best recommendations. I heard the words “fantasy” and “Arab poetry” and I was hooked. This book is heavily inspired by Moroccan culture and history, while also futuristic with sci-fi elements.

For representation, from an outside perspective I think it does a lot. The author worked really hard to include good translations and to incorporate a variety of language into the book, because the Vathek (conquerors) and the Kushaila (native people of Andaalan) speak different languages. The book addresses a lot of real world problems like colonization and it’s legacy, and how it affects people on every level of the power structure.

There was this one part that made me cry near the beginning of the book, where Amani (main character) is describing her world post-Vathek invasion, the only world she’s ever known. She talks about wanting desperately to find a place, a home that has been destroyed and taken from her but not even being able to envision it, and that hit me where it hurts.

Side note: colonization is a heavy topic. it’s more than just taking over a place, it’s conquering a people, taking their culture to try and break their spirit. Mirage deals with this really well, and expresses the pain of those who have lost so much.

What I liked:

Firstly, Daud’s prose is amazingly detailed and rich, without going overboard. I could clearly envision every scene, and someone really needs to make a Mirage Pinterest board! What I loved the most however were the relationships between the characters. The relationship between Amani and her brother Hussnain made me miss my siblings deeply, and her close knit community pulled on my memories and heartstrings.

More than just good representation, there’s something beautiful about reading stories that speak to you. The scenery is beautiful and reminds me of the word “hiraeth”: A deep longing for one’s home.

From celebrations with dancing, food, and traditional music under a sky full of stars to wandering empty courtyards in palaces rich with history, Mirage’s world draws you in and doesn’t let go till the last page.

Also, the poetry was gorgeous. I fell in love with Arabic poetry a while back, and it never fails to take my breath away.

I’m a big believer in the idea that BIPOC joy is a revolution - because against all these forces, we are still happy in spite of them. In Mirage, one of the members of court (Furat) says:

“Even your happiness is rebellion.”

Amani replies with something along the lines of:

“But it will not win the war.”

This was really important to me because it helped me realize that yes, joy is a revolution, but sometimes you need more than that. Amani is the type of heroine who steps up to that, despite the risks. She is a far stronger person than I could ever be, considering what she goes through. It had me rooting for her throughout the book, even when she had to make tough decisions.

Finally, two things brought this book to a ten:

The romance

The “villain”

Now normally, I like romance but it’s sort of a side dish to the book. It can enhance it, or take away from it. The reason I loved how the romance was done in Mirage is because despite the power imbalance, they treat each other as equals. Idris (princess’s fiancé) respects Amani and legitimately cares about her - he doesn’t try to control her or be possessive, and they support each other in very quiet but emotional ways (which I won’t state explicitly because… spoilers). It’s rare in YA fantasy to see a female main character who isn’t dependent on her partner, and the “right person wrong time” trope kills me every time. I loved all of their interactions 💗

The villain - Maram, the Vathek princess - looks exactly like Amani. This is why she is forced to become her body double. But the thing is, Mirage doesn’t let you forget for a second that Maram is also young, and human, and at the mercy of her father and all the people she needs to rule. She is half Vathek half Andalaan and doesn’t fit with either side because of this. Being mixed, this spoke a lot to my own experiences of trying to find a home in both parts of my culture. You end up feeling a lot of sympathy for her, and I can’t wait to see how her character arc continues in the sequel.

I sincerely recommend Mirage to any fans of:

A Song of Wraiths & Ruin by Roseanne A. Brown

We Hunt the Flame by Hafsah Faizal

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer (problematic author ‼️)

Nocturna by Maya Motayne

The sequel to Mirage is called Court of Lions, but personally I think it can be read as a standalone. I will be running to buy that sequel though 😂

This book checks all my boxes:

- culture ✅

- plot ✅

- romance ✅

- villains but more than just villains ✅

- beautiful writing ✅

- fantasy ✅

- world building ✅

I will definitely be reading Somaiya Daud’s books in the future.

Thanks for reading and Happy Black History month! 💙

[jaanusbooktalk]

How We Fall Apart by Katie Zhao - Review

7.6/10

TWs: inappropriate student/teacher relationship, abuse, suicide, self harm, parental neglect, panic attacks, drug use, racism

(I ranked the TWs in order of severity)

Hi! This is my first tumblr post, so I should probably introduce myself- I’m Jaanu, and I read (probably way too much). This is a “blog” account where I’m going to give my reviews on different books as I finish them. At the moment, I’m only reading books by BIPOC and queer folks(though this may change) it will be what I focus on: so needless to say, this is a safe space. I want to highlight books with representation because they were so few and far between growing up, and I know I’m not the only one looking for these kinds of books. I’ll do my best to give spoiler-free reviews, so I hope you enjoy!

The summary:

“Nancy Luo is shocked when her former best friend, Jamie Ruan, top ranked junior at Sinclair Prep, goes missing, and then is found dead. Nancy is even more shocked when word starts to spread that she and her friends--Krystal, Akil, and Alexander--are the prime suspects, thanks to "The Proctor," someone anonymously incriminating them via the school's social media app.

They all used to be Jamie's closest friends, and she knew each of their deepest, darkest secrets. Now, somehow The Proctor knows them, too. The four must uncover the true killer before The Proctor exposes more than they can bear and costs them more than they can afford, like Nancy's full scholarship. Soon, Nancy suspects that her friends may be keeping secrets from her, too.

TL;DR Students at an elite prep school are forced to confront their secrets when their ex-best friend turns up dead.

I first found this book through a tik tok video, and the author marketed it as Asian dark academia; normally when I hear this, it’s safe to assume people are talking about East Asians, but I commented to ask and found out that one of the four main characters is South Asian, Akil Patel. That was how HWFA made it onto my TBR and eventually my bookshelf. (I’m South Indian, and a sucker for dark academia).

In terms of representation, the book has good parts and less good parts. The MC, Nancy, is Chinese-American and many elements of her culture are seen throughout. This is probably bc the author is also Chinese, so she’s writing what she knows. As for the other characters… not so much.

We see that Alexander can speak Mandarin, so he’s most likely Chinese, but Krystal is just stated to be Korean and there’s nothing really involving her culture. Same with Akil. I was kinda disappointed that Akil and Nishant (the other minor South Asian character) were only recognizable as such by their names, but I digress.

What I liked:

Okay I loved the dynamic between a certain someone 👀 and Nancy - I felt like they were able to say a lot without saying a lot, and I really liked how the book avoided typical potholes in the diverse YA path: the rep that was there, was good rep. I also love highschool cliches, and I liked how they were struggling through regular classes like AP World History or AP Chem - I found this really relatable.

Also, at the beginning of each chapter there would be a sample comment from the messaging app “Tip Tap” and those always made me laugh, because the language was so realistic to the way people in my generation actually text. I genuinely liked the story- I never got bored, never had to put the book down because I was lost, I was able to pretty much finish it in a day.

There are also at least two queer characters (one bisexual, the other undefined) which made me really happy because it was subtle, unexpected, and added a layer of character depth.

I like the way that HWFA didn’t outline a clear villain, and in the end you realize that these are all just high schoolers who don’t actually know what they want and that’s okay! It tackles mental health in a very raw way, which is why I say: take the TWs seriously!!

Last thing, the relationship between Nancy and her mother made me cry - her unquestioning support of her daughter while also wanting her to excel really hit home for me. This book is a love letter to diaspora kids trying to make their parents proud, even at the expense of their mind and body.

Here’s why I can’t give it a 10:

I read Ace of Spades first. I know that sounds like a terrible reason, but hear me out. Ace of Spades (still no spoilers) follows a similar plot line almost down to the letter, except the main characters are Black and it’s a lot more terrifying than “dark academia”. If HWFA is like Asian Gossip Girl, then AoS is Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Both books are really good, both have scary anonymous texters exposing the main characters to the whole school, both take place in very privileged private school settings and are centered around secrets coming to light. I’m not saying anyone copied anyone else, they both came out the same year, but reading AoS first meant I could see the ending long before it showed up in HWFA.

Also, and this is a big one, I couldn’t stand Nancy.

I tried over and over again to relate to her, to excuse her actions, and I understand she’s not meant to be a perfect person but she kept making these really really dumb choices, like super dumb, and the reasoning was always “I’ve never been allowed to step a toe out of line, I want to be bad for once” etc etc.

I can’t explain how many times I wanted to jump into the book and shake her, because there are levels to dumb, especially as a teenager. Drinking? Okay, kinda dumb, but you’re 18, whatever. Inappropriate student/teacher relationship? Different. Level. I wish it had been made more clear in the trigger warnings how central this would be to the plot.

On that note, I didn’t like how the book never really addressed why the student/teacher relationship was inappropriate - it was more so because he was a bad person than because he was older and totally taking advantage of her.

That being said, dark academia is one of my favorite genres, and HWFA did it perfectly. We have the tension, the secret meetings, the academic stress, the nighttime danger, the plot, the mystery. This is Katie Zhao’s first “older” YA novel, with characters in high school instead of middle school, and I say overall it was a job well done 💯!