JACE. @jacexking-blog1 - Tumblr Blog

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: I do like him. But you know you're not going to be able to go back and forth from Georgia to Coolsville for the rest of your life! Because I'm desperate for attention and inexplicably angry. I was doing both of those things but then I started to focus all my attention on Bailey J and Caleb. Because she thinks she knows everything. I DON'T KNOW. NO ONE WILL TELL ME.

JACE: I could move to Coolsville permanently. Maybe move my mom and Jax out here, too. Then they'll be even further away from my dad, which is great. You could have asked me to bring you down to Georgia anytime! We could have stayed at the farm again, and you'd have gotten plenty of attention. Ofelia, let them be. Unless they're being dicks to you, which in that case you should go crazy. THEY'RE PROBABLY NOT DOING IT. THEY LOOK LIKE CHILDREN.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: What are we supposed to do though, like you DO have a kid. I don't really know where I'm supposed to fit into all of that. Wait, no. Protest. Maybe this will cure me of wanting to fight someone. You would've seen me on Instagram, you'd know I was alive. Me too! Then I can prove to Bailey James Carter that I can be petty without it having anything to do with me not having sex regularly.

JACE: Jackson hasn't been a problem between us until now, and you even kinda liked him. Like I said before, you can have as little or as much as you want to do with him. Why do you want to fight someone??? You're in Paris! You should be shopping and sightseeing. How would I know it wasn't your murderer posting on your account to make it look like you were still alive? Why does she even think that? It's not like she's getting any nookie. OR IS SHE?

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: Typical babies. So picky. I don't know. Normally I do things and they really have no real consequence so I guess we're probably still together. David owed me a few gifts and I was bored in Coolsville. I did promise Caleb I'd come back for his party though, so I guess I'll be back then.

JACE: Pretty much. I mean, I love my son, but kids are overrated. Okay, cool. I wasn't gonna let you go without a huge protest anyway. David is not cool for whisking you off to Paris without my knowledge. I coulda thought you were dead! Good. I can't wait to see you. I got you something great for Christmas.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: Well I wouldn't know. You and Cobie should get together and swap tips about whether it's easier to feed kids crushed pears or crushed carrots. I don't know! I have no concept of what's supposed to go where. Well, I'm in Paris and I don't know when I'll be back.

JACE: Jackson liked neither, so I wouldn't know. Well, we're boyfriend and girlfriend, or were? I don't really know whether you've dumped me or not. What?

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: No, it's fine. You have soccer games to carpool for and PTAs to handle. Dad stuff. It's fine. I've been told to ask you where this is going. When did Lollipop Guild and Left Shark become the perfect couple? I am, but it's fine.

JACE: I do not do any of those things, just so you know. My mom does that. Well, it's going wherever you want it to go? I'll be back in Coolsville in a couple days. I have no idea, but I feel like we need to beat them.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: Bailey J said it was weird that I was jealous of your son and then I realized that I'm terrified of you not liking me anymore! And she also thinks I'm just angry because I'm currently stunted sexually which is super rude and I'm really mad at her and Caleb about it because 1) they're being super cute and gross and 2) they both obviously don't want to put MY needs before their own because NONE OF THEM WILL FIGHT WITH ME and I'm just like a truly terrible person and I've come to accept that about myself.

JACE: Babe, you know I'd come back if you need me to. It's not weird to be jealous of him, he is spending all his time with me after all. Of course I still like you! I try and Facetime you everyday! Being super cute and gross? Now that's weird. You're not a terrible person.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: Anyways this is cancelled.

OFELIA: You don't have to text me back or anything but I g2g.

JACE: What?

JACE: Why?

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACOWAN

ROWAN: Maybe you should ask them that. They're two very alpha, competitive women, so I'm not surprised that they lock horns a little. I would insert a snide comment, but I've actually missed your company. You should even some to Sage's after working out with me, when she's back from Fiji. I keep Powerade in her fridge and she's very amusing. She probably does, and I was stating a fact. It wasn't a compliment. Yes, really.

ROWAN: I'm glad you did, because I wouldn't want to associate with a gang banger. I hear it's not very fruitful.

ROWAN: I'm enjoying that part a lot. I already knew her quite well considering, but I'm feeling like I'm getting to know her on entirely different levels and its fascinating. Good luck with that because I'm always going to let you down. Well, no. I'm sleeping with her and only her at the moment by choice. But we haven't made the mutual decision to label ourselves as being exclusive to one another yet. We'll wait until you're back from Georgia and set a date. Excuse me? Penguin prostitution?

JACE: Fuck no. They'd beat me with their designer shoes for being a dumb boy, probably. Very alpha is an understatement. It's more like extremely alpha. I bet if they actually fought, it'd be a spectacular smackdown. Aw, I knew it. I'm very missable. Is she the witch girl from Coke Skwad? I love Powerade, so I'll come. Why is she amusing, though? It was a compliment in my heart, and you can't take that away from me. No, really.

JACE: I wouldn't want you to associate with me, either. It would be dangerous for you. I don't want you to die. It's not. It's horrible.

JACE: I never thought you'd actually stop fuckin' around and be with her properly, but I'm so happy you have! You're both cute together. I saw her Insta, and it was adorable. You're adorable, Row your boat. One day you might say yes accidentally, and then have to marry me, so Idc. I see. I'm confused a little, but I see. I hope you choose to be exclusive, though. Should be back this weekend, 'cause Cobie has work on Monday. Yeahhhh! The lady penguins holla for a pebble for their penguin nests. They just give away their penguin vag for pebbles.

#text: rowan.

TEXT → JAILEY

Bailey: But that's mostly because JK Rowling didn't even remember to write any non shady Slytherins until the Cursed Child play and even then it's just Scorpius that's good because Harry's son is the ultimate tool. Rats are cute but they creep me out a lot in person. Definitely, but he did totally look like he could turn into a rat at will if he really wanted to. Yeah, it's really obvious when you talk about her how happy she makes you and Ofelia deserves to finally date someone that likes her that much. So it's cute. I'm actually surprised that she hasn't ended up having to do that sooner, to be perfectly honest. Nope there isn't, but as far as I've ever read the bees never got out, so I guess it worked out fine for her regardless. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEBBLES THEY GOT FOR THEIR PENGUIN PARTS BUT I HOPE IT WAS MORE THAN JUST ONE OR THAT WOULD BE SO STUPID. THEY MADE STUFFED TOYS BECAUSE IT'S A WEBSITE FOR CHILDREN. YOU PLAY GAMES ON THERE LIKE MAKE PIZZA AND DO KARATE!

Jace: I ain't surprised Harry's son is a tool, 'cause Harry could be a bit of a tool, too. My favorite character is Luna. Also Tonks. I can see why you'd be creeped out, but they're just like hamsters with long tails. I hate hamsters, though. Bitey little bastards. I'm happy it's obvious, because like, I want her to be able to see how good she makes me feel. She deserves the best, that's for sure. Has she dated some douches in the past, then? Other than the dude that knocked up Cobie? I think they get along in secret, when nobody is watching 'em. She had a really lucky escape with that one. It woulda taken just one wrong movement. IF IT WAS JUST ONE THEN THEY'VE BEEN SUPER CHEATED BY THE PENGUIN DUDES. I THINK IT SHOULD BE AT LEAST FOUR TO BE A FAIR TRADE IN THE PENGUIN COMMUNITY. PENGUINS CAN MAKE PIZZA AND DO KARATE? COOL! I MIGHT CHECK IT OUT LATER WHEN JACKSON IS HERE, EVEN IF HE CAN'T PLAY IT YET. HE'LL STILL THINK THE PENGUINS ARE COOL.

#text: bailey.

TEXT || JACOWAN

ROWAN: They probably would, and see they have even more in common than they thought. You have those washboard abs, so it would be pretty hard to check your ribs without getting an eye feast. As much as I hate to admit it, you're in great shape. She probably looked like she wanted to lick them, which would explain why it's problematic. Everything is more fun when someone's tied down. I'm sure she is, Jace.

ROWAN: There's nothing wrong with being aggressive when it meets the needs. If it's a protective aggression now, then that's a good trait, even.

ROWAN: We do have a 'butt load', but it's a little strange to me to just have that kind of thing with one person. Don't get me wrong though, I'm enjoying it. It's different and I'm content. I definitely won't be accepting your proposal now, I'm afraid. I'm practicing monogamy to then discuss exclusivity. I can assume so, with your heart attack inducing food. Yes, like a double date. I'm sure we would have more common ground than with Caleb and Bailey.

JACE: They both wear designer shoes, so like...why can't they just talk about shoes and get along? I don't understand women. Why thank you. I work real hard on 'em, and I'll be back to bench pressing you next week!!! Can't wait!!!!!!!! You think Barbie wants to lick my abs?! You also just complimented me so much that I almost dropped my phone. Is it really? I feel like it's just a bit awkward. She is!

JACE: I guess so. I only ever get aggressive to protect people I love now, so yeah. I left the gang life behind.

JACE: Being monogamous is cool. It means you get to know the person really well, which makes the sex even better. Being content is a good start, I guess. Well, that's rude. I'm still gonna keep proposing, though. Shouldn't you practice exclusivity before monogamy??? Leave my food out of this. I always work it all off! I could go for a double date. Just let me know when, and I'll tell Ofelia. Or try and talk her into it, depending on her feelings towards Lilith that day. Yeah, definitely. Bailey J is cool, though. She taught me about penguin prostitution.

#text: rowan.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: Ew. That's got to be the weirdest locker room conversation. You and Cobie have the only rights to my ass, so grab whenever. No, it's annoying. I'd rather her be mad until I apologized like a normal person. Fine, no electrocution. And I'll do my best not to get hurt somehow. I know I would.

OFELIA: That's the best thing for her, right now. She's starting to slip back into trying to fix Kenzi again. Well, you're my only boyfriend and I'd like to keep you. Sure she didn't. No, I'm a light sleeper. I used to not sleep at all pretty much. You don't have to move. Plus, Cobie takes your place when you leave anyways.

JACE: Oddly, nope! She tells me weirder stuff than just the spanking. I feel so privileged. I might have to come and grab it now to really feel how lucky I am. I think we both know she's far from normal. No psychologist is ever normal. Thank you, I appreciate that.

JACE: Noooo, she can't do that! I feel like we might have to tie her to something comfortable when we go back to Coolsville. You can keep me for as long as you want me. I'll not let her look at my ribs again, does that make you feel better? God, how did you manage that? Sleep is so good. I'm glad you're sleeping now. I've noticed. Every time I get out of the bed, she high fives me before diving in next to you. She's so agile for a pregnant woman.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JALE

HALE: She was really mad the other night. It was scary. Not at me though so I just kept playing with my dinosaur bone kit that Rowan got me. Yeah, I feel better.

JACE: Lilith? About the Ofelia thing? I can see why. I'm sorry about that. I know seeing people mad ain't fun. That sounds so cool, though! What kinda bones did you get? Anything from a T-Rex? I love those. I'm really happy you do. Once I'm back from Georgia, we should go get some Slurpees.

#text: hale.

TEXT → JAILEY

Bailey: Definitely! There are more sides to all of the houses but Ravenclaw is the one where people use the least amount of effort to do stuff for it. Oh yeah, same. As a rat all he did was be chill and sleep, human Pettigrew is the ultimate douche. You're so cute about Ofelia , it's adorable. Oh yeah! She would be a good doctor for all of them! I think that's all you can do when you have lady parts full of bee stings. IT'S CHEAP BUT PENGUINS NEED THE PEBBLES FOR THEIR LITTLE NESTS. THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT WHAT HAPPENS ON CLUB PENGUIN THOUGH! OH MY GOSH! IT'S FOR KIDS!!

Jace: I think Slytherins get a pretty raw deal with the whole them being evil thing. They're just super smart, and know how to use things to their advantage. Rats are cool. My brother had one when we were kids. It escaped, though. Bummer. He was the weirdest looking dude in the movies, which made him seem even douchier. I am? I just like her a lot. She's like...the best thing to happen to me in forever, other than my son. She makes me a very happy dude. I'm worried she might section Ofelia one day for Ofelia being rude, but yeah, I think she could help everyone. True. There's nothing else you can really do other than cry about it. She shoulda chose something less stingy. OOOH. THAT MAKES SENSE! KINDA. I HOPE THAT THEY GET A DECENT AMOUNT OF PEBBLES FOR GIVING AWAY THEIR PENGUIN PARTS, THOUGH. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. I WONDERED WHY THEY MADE STUFFED TOYS! WHAT DO YOU DO ON THERE? PENGUIN THINGS?

#text: bailey.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: I'm not too hard, I just wish it didn't. Thank god. I'm so not into that. Ass grabbing is fine. Spanking is another story. I don't know, Rowan is weird. Good weird, but still weird. Of course she doesn't because she always has to be the bigger person. Even if I don't have to say the same thing over again, they're going to ask the same questions. Just electrocute me, that'd be a lot easier. I want to be the baby daddy of a baby with a shitty daddy, yeah.

OFELIA: I think being here is beneficial for her just as much as us. Yes, she was. For like four seconds before she remembered I could rip her hair out. Nope, no cowboy boots. I refuse so hard. You keep waking me up, as quiet as you are. I think Cobie would love that honestly.

JACE: Well, Rowan and Lilith are real into the spanking thing. I hear too much when I go to the gym with Rowan. Ass grabbing is the best ever. Especially when it's your ass that I'm grabbing. Yeah, she is, but she's like...so cool. Isn't her being the bigger person good? It means you don't have to say you're sorry! Unless you wanna, of course. I'm not electrocuting you. Believe it or not, I'm fond of you, and I don't wanna see you getting hurt/die. That'd make me cry, probably. And I don't cry. Fair enough. For the record, you'd make a badass baby daddy.

JACE: Totally. It means she's away from the temptation of Kenzi in Coolsville. I like it when you're possessive. Just thought I'd let you know that. I'm sure she didn't even realize she was looking, babe. Fiiiine, no cowboy boots. Even if you'd look great. I'm sorry. I can sleep on the floor, if you want and Cobie can sleep with you? Just so I don't wake you up when I move or anything. I don't want you to be tired. I do, too, which isn't surprising in the least.

#text: ofelia.

TEXT || JACOWAN

ROWAN: Point of discussion. I was about to chew your ear off about Ofelia doing that, but Lilith would perhaps be worse, and then tell me to go and fuck myself. She wants to 'fight' Barbie? Any particular reason why? Tying you down just made it amusing to me. I'm not surprised in the slightest that you love Dolly.

ROWAN: I'd like to see you be a little rough around the edges one day.

ROWAN: It just takes me some time to settle into changing my lifestyle. I don't deal too well with change, and I'm not used to not using copious sex to control people. Though, I've already given up fucking strippers and ghost whisperers, so we'll see what happens. Is everyone from Georgia strange? That would be a feat for them to admit that to one another. Perhaps we should do those things where we all spend time together and force it out.

JACE: That sounds very pleasant! I'm sure both Lilith and Ofelia would have a lot of fun cussing us out together one day in the middle of a busy gym. It could be a great bonding experience for the both of them. Yep. Apparently Barbie looked at my abs when she was checking on my ribs. I didn't notice, though. Ofelia called me oblivious, but she wasn't mean about it. Tying me down made it awkward! Dolly is a queen, Rowan. A QUEEN.

JACE: Maybe you will, if someone pushes me hard enough. I've done some shit back home. It ain't me, though. I don't like being violent.

JACE: You don't need copious amounts of sex to gain control. There's other ways to keep control in your life. Don't you have a buttload of sex with Lilith anyways? You have? I'm sucha proud dad right now. I'd say husband, but you won't fuckin' accept my proposals. Yes. Everyone from the South in general is a bit weird. You mean a double date? We did that with Caleb and Bailey J once. It was... an experience. I'd love to double date with you and Lilith, though! We'll have sucha good time.

#text: rowan.

TEXT → JAILEY

Bailey: Slytherin has some of the best merchandise, but I miss the days when no one wanted to be hufflepuff because now Ravenclaw is the house with the least amount of stuff. Wait, you liked Wormtail?!? I'm sure Ofelia will be so happy for you. What good old doc? Bee stings on the vagina sounds like the most horrific thing in the world. FOR OTHER PENGUINS SOMETIMES. THEY HOLLA FOR PEBBLES.

Jace: They do have some really rad things. I've seen some Ravenclaw stuff, but it's all the typical nerdy stuff, and I think there's more sides to Ravenclaws than just being smart. I liked him as a rat, not as himself. He kinda sucked as a real human dude. He was a real bad seed. Of course she will, she's the best. :D Lilith! Dr. McGowan. How would you even go about telling someone about that to get help? "Oh, hey... Bees stung my vagina and I'm in need of some help!" HOLLA FOR PEBBLES? THAT'S CHEAP. I CAN'T BELIEVE LADY PENGUINS GIVE AWAY THEIR LADY PENGUIN PARTS FOR PEBBLES! DO THEY TRADE PEBBLES LIKE CURRENCY IN THE PENGUIN COMMUNITY? IS THIS WHAT HAPPENS ON THAT WEIRD WEBSITE CALLED CLUB PENGUIN?

#text: bailey.

TEXT || JACEFELIA

OFELIA: I did though. I overreact to everything. Lilith probably does considering she was going to set Rowan on me to spank me or something weird. I just hate it. I hate the thought of having to do it. And it's not like I can stay with Lilith forever, so every couple of years I'll have to start over with someone new and it'll just be an endless cycle of suck. No, I think Kenzi would get mad at me if I tried that. But believe me, I've thought about it.

OFELIA: I think Cobie might never leave quite honestly. You are oblivious, but that's okay. I'll take your word for it. Maybe, but I draw the line at cowboy boots. Never in my life will I put those on my feet. No, I don't mind. I don't like that you have to get out of bed at the asscrack of dawn to go do some farm stuff, but the rest I can live with probably.

JACE: Don't beat yourself up about it, babe. It happened, and you can't change it. I'd never have let Rowan spank you. That'd be way too weird. I'm sure she'd have just talked to you. Lilith ain't mad, she don't even want you to apologize, and to just go to your sessions when she's back. It's all gonna be fine. I'm sure Lilith ain't going anywhere for a while. She's got reasons to be in Coolsville. You should ask her how it all works, if you're worried. I'm sure she'd be able to tell you what happens if you have to change psychologists. They shouldn't expect you to have to talk about everything all over again, that'd just undo everything. You wanna be a baby daddy?

JACE: I don't blame her. This farm is amazing. I am? Was she really looking at my abs? You'd look so cute in cowboy boots, though! Some can be designer. I don't like that, either. But I might as well help out Grandma Dot while I'm here. She's getting super old now, and I like feeding the animals. Wanna buy a farm and make Cobie a sister wife? Just kidding, obviously.

#text: ofelia.

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