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@jackanthonywalker
The only other body part that looks even more alien-like than your hands are your feet. Oh hey, a pixie!
I love pixies. They’re sparkly. Who were you again?
Okay, I'll give you that one. Feet are very weird, just in general.
A pixie, you say? How much have you had, mate? I'm Jack.
What the hell are you doing in my seat?
Keeping it warm for you, my love.
I needed a good laugh. I imagine I’d laugh at a passing squirrel—not that you bear any resemblance to a squirrel.
Glad to be of service, then. Wait -- I'm not cute and cuddly? I've been living a lie? There are worse things to be compared to, y'know.
Mister Hufflepuff! We’ve only just met! How can you say something so scandalous?
I've just fallen for you, Mister Gryffindor. Literally.
[He looks quizzically at the hand given to him and pokes it] Merlin, is that what my hand looks like? It looks like a fucking… alien.
How dare you! My hands are perfectly human looking.
Do you want a cookie?
I’m also bloody delighted to make your acquaintance, Jack. [She giggles at him who can’t take his eyes off the cookies.] Well, would you like one?
Would I like one? You're precious. Really. Yes, I'd love one!
Do you want a cookie?
Oh, love. You must not know me. I'm Jack...[He beams at the cookies.] And I'm bloody delighted to make your acquaintance.
Mate,
I think… I’m dr..dr…drunk?
Y'think therefore you are, man.
[Marlene burst into laughter, covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle the noise.] I feel like I’m watching a bad comedy.
For such a bad comedy, you sure are getting a good laugh out of it, chuckles.
That…may have been my foot.
Thanks, mate. I'll not ask you for a hand, then.
Don’t be silly. Oliver is more than capable of looking after himself and I think Sprout’s scared of Alecto. I would sacrifice them for you without a second thought. Especially now that you’re blushing. [As if the puppy eyes weren’t bad enough Ursula found Jack’s red cheeks absolutely adorable.] I don’t think she is, I know it. She’s always around asking if he needs more dried leaves or fresh cut wolfsbane or Merlin knows what else. I swear, your head of house is head over heels for mine. [And she still hadn’t decided if it was cute or disgusting.] There’s nothing wrong with being a little nosy. I’d love to continue with Herbology after Hogwarts but there’s no chance my family would ever allow it. Besides, we’ve got one of the world’s best greenhouses at home. My grandmother can teach me everything a Herbology professor can without me leaving the grounds. [She shrugged as if it didn’t matter and then rested her head against his shoulder for exactly five seconds. One, two, three, four, five; pull away. Just to be safe.] Darling, I don’t mean to sound rude but you’re a worse prefect than Potter.
Very true. You've thought this one through, Ursula. So does this mean I've got someone looking out for me? That'll be a first. What do you mean especially now I'm blushin'? Do y'get a kick outta' tha'? [The acknowledgement of his reddened cheeks only made them flush even deeper.] Now that you mention it...you're absolutely right. How didn't I see that before? I must be oblivious. That must be it.
Have you ever tried talking to them about it? Maybe you could work something out. Well, I'd wager that you could teach yourself everything about Herbology, armed with a greenhouse and some books and your brain. And you could do that at home if it'd make you happy. [Jack smiled in awe upon feeling her head settle against his shoulder. Within their five seconds of intimacy, he was able to curl a strand of her hair around his finger and rest his lopsided jaw against her head. This allowed him to still pull away when the moment was gone naturally and as though nothing had happened. It was a game they were well accustomed to.] Don't worry, dear, I'm well aware of that. In fact, I sort of take it as a compliment.
Oh no, not you! Anyone but you! I’ll give her Oliver, I’ll give her Alecto. Hell, I’ll even stun Slughorn and leave him naked in her office with a bow wrapped around his crown jewels. Just don’t succumb to her evil ways. [Fights the shock she’d felt when he first showed her the piece of paper, telling herself again and again that Jack wouldn’t actually team up with Sprout to make her pursue herbology after Howarts, and brushes her thumb over his wrist when the note traded owner. Unfolds it carefully and laughs, a sound full of humor and relief, as she saw the drawing he’d given her this time.] You’re my very own Picasso. [Squints at the drawing one more time to make sure she didn’t mistake the hippogriff part for another animal then folds the note again and puts it in her own pocket. Snakes her arms around Jack’s waist to hug him as a thanks as well as in greeting and beams up at him.] That’s a very good point. I suppose I’ll just have to find someone to do it for me. Do you have any warlocks for hire in Hufflepuff?
I'm sure you'd say the same to them. But you've still made me bloody blush. [Not for the first time either. Jack shudders.] Ugh, I don't even want to know why you think Sprout's interested in Sluggy's crown jewels. I'll be strong for you. Why are ya' so opposed to pursuing Herbology, anyway? Just out of curiosity. Or maybe nosiness. Don't answer if you think its nosiness. [Wide brown eyes watch for her reaction -- when Ursula laughs a bright, satisfied grin splits Jack's face, eyes crinkling.] Jack Picasso does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it? [His body tenses in shock at the sudden hug, but it fades and his arms soften around her, Jack returns the hug warmly.] Maybe not so much for hire as for help. That's what Prefects are for right? Helping. I'm near certain that shutting up the teachers is on my list of duties.
Sprout won’t stop handing me pamphlets about working as a herbologist and every time I’m in the Greenhouse she goes on and on about how she became a professor. It’s like she thinks I’ll take an interest in pursuing a real career if she mentions it at every given moment. How much trouble do you think I’d get into if I hit her with a strong silencio?
[Jack pulls a folded up piece of paper out of his back pocket.] So you won't want this pamphlet on herbology, then? Sprout's corrupted me. Got me in the clutches of Devil's Snare, Urs. I'm weak. [He presses the paper into her palm and curls her fingers around the note with his own. It's clear that he's only joking -- the paper's white and holds a doodle of himself as half-man, half-hippogriff, like he pictured in a dream which he once told the girl about but couldn't properly explain. His art is terrible yet humorous as ever.] To answer your question, I doubt you'd get away with it. Everyone would notice if she stopped talking, they'd know for sure that something was up.
