Clown Milk- What is it and should I be drinking it?
Now, before we get into this discussion, we need to address the fact that there are two types of clown milk-
Natural clown milk and processed clown milk.
So, what’s the difference?
Processed clown milk is milk that has been through multiple stages of production to make it ‘human safe.’ This is the milk you’ll see in the dairy section in grocery stores, most distinct for its colourful appearance and strong aromas. It has had an extreme rise in popularity lately with social media influencers posting it online, as its strange colours in lattes and milkshakes are very attractive to the human brain. Along with its rise in popularity is a rise in more dangerous brands of clown milk. Company’s are cutting corners in order to produce milk faster, which comes with all sorts of side effects. This makes the milk genuinely dangerous to drink, and that combined with the unethical production means many company’s use to obtain clown milk makes it an extremely unsafe and immoral product.
Because of the reputation that processed milk has obtained many clown owners have turned away from the product as a whole, which is a massive mistake. Unfortunately, because of mass clown killings, hysteria, and many uneducated people in power in the 90s, a law was passed that allowed Chucklets to be separated from their parents and sold as young as 30 weeks. While this may not seem troublesome, Chucklets rely on their mothers milk for at least a year, meaning that Chucklets that do not have access to proper nourishment early on can face many health issues later on in life.
Natural milk is a solution to this while the law is still in place. If you have unknowingly bought a chucklet too young, natural clown milk is stocked at most pet stores. It has slightly less colourful patterns and a more contained smell, as those are generally added to processed milk to make it more desirable for humans. Natural clown milk is EXTREMELY unsafe for humans to drink and can be highly toxic and even deadly if consumed, so never try it. Many natural brands still do obtain their milk unethically, which can be a big moral dilemma for clown owners. A brand I would personally recommend is Chucklets Organic, they’re very open about their practices and how they house the clowns they care for.
When buying natural milk always remember to check to see which species of clown it came from. While Party and Sad Chucklets can survive on the same stuff, specialist breeds, like Scare or Jester, have very specific dietary needs that need to be met.
That’s all on clown milk today, buy responsibly and, as always, ALWAYS do your research
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