Dr. Buffoon, PhD

✪ Will answer clown questions ✪ Asks open ✪ Ethical Clown Breeder ✪ He/Him ✪

[columbossluttywaist]

where did rodeo clowns come from? I assume they're a circus clown x cowboy hybrid, but I've never heard of cowboy husbandry. are they circus clowns raised alongside cowboys? what's their history?

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

Rodeo clowns actually have their own distinct lineage. Circus clowns are native to England but have spread throughout the world similarly to have species like rats and cats have. Rodeo clowns are native to Mexico and migrated north into Texas and surrounding states where their population grew exponentially due to the cowboys in the area. This migration and cultivation by Texas cowboys in particular is why Houston, Texas still has the highest population of Rodeo clowns in the entire world. You can see some of these talents clowns at the Houston rodeo every spring! I had the privilege of growing up going every year and I’ll tell you these Rodeo clowns are extraordinary!

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

Hello Buffoons Clown Breeder,

I have been considering Adopting a Guard Clown in order to protect a Very Important Feature of my Garden and I thought that I would ask you as you seem to be very knowledgeable on the Subject.

Thank you in advance.

Best,

@marsha-landlord.

Hello Marsha (Landlord)

Thank you for your question! If you’re looking to guard clown I would suggest looking into what species are native to your area to make sure your clown is as comfortable as possible. If you were to get something like a Rodeo clown in New York for example the Rodeo would feel out of place without any deserts, horses, or cowboys to keep them company. I looked at your blog briefly and noted that you were in the Midwest. The obvious pick for a guard clown for most people is a scare clown but you are a bit south for a scare clown (they’re native to Maine and upper parts of New England). An alternative I think would work well for you is a Juggalo. Juggalo’s are native to the Midwest and can be some of the fiercest clowns. I would suggest getting at least two Juggalo’s that are a bonded pair as they are very social and hiring a professional clown trainer to help you bond and care for them as they are not beginner friendly.

I hope you find a clown that suits your needs, best of luck on your search. Please send me updates when/if you end up adopting a clown.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

Hi! I'm still a new clown owner and I have a question about rodeo clowns and pierrots. I have two rodeos and two pierrot-mixes that get along really well together. The problem I'm worried about is when they're a little older will they begin to "hate" each other in a sense?

I've been doing good at keeping my rodeos active and separate from my pierrots during their exercises. They get together at the end of the day when my rodeos have cooled down from being active. My pierrots have now started a routine of doting on the rodeos after a long day of activities. I don't want their bond to be broken, but if it does happen when they're older I want to be prepared.

I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t stay bonded! Clowns, no matter the breed, are social creatures. If they like each other enough to dote it seems like they’re most likely a bonded pack at this point.

My advice would be to just continue treating them well, give them their own space, feed them well, and continue to give them lots of enrichment. If they’re well cared for it’s extremely unlikely for them to start becoming hostile towards pack members.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

My partner and I were talking about some issues with local clowns and they made a very good point that I feel like needs to be shared more. Please do NOT release your clowns into the wild! Clowns, in most places, are extremely invasive species. If you’re living anywhere east of Texas you can absolutely not release a rodeo, I keep hearing about people doing this and it’s so upsetting. They don’t have the skills to survive if they’re not in the west guys.

[insignificantstrawberry]

calgarian rodeo clowns mean nothing to people huh. smh at this blatant alberta erasure wtf

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

I think you may be confused, Alberta is west of Texas.

[ironirma103]

I think there is a feral mime living on my street, should i be worried?

I have a railroad mix with a 1/2 acre lawn and a 40 ft boxcar on a cable system so it moves back and forth.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

You should be fine! Mimes are typically very shy and won’t attack humans or other clowns unless it’s necessary for their survival or they are directly provoked. I would just watch your clown while they’re outside so they don’t get into a fight. Honestly though with a railroad mix I’d be more afraid of your clown hurting the mime and you having to deal with the consequences of that.

[queenarielviolet]

I want to go to a clown zoo

It's like a normal zoo, but every exhibit has different types of clowns in it

No other types of animals. Only clowns. And similar species like mimes, jesters, and prop comedians.

[raskolite]

This is actually incredibly inhumane. Clowns and related species have been observed exhibiting classic symptoms of zoochosis in environments like this—honestly, it’s the same thing as P.T. Barnum’s cruel circuses where animals like elephants, lions, clowns, seals etc. were mistreated and abused for the entertainment of people like you.

Before people come for me, of course I’m not saying there are no safe enclosures for clowns, but a “clown zoo” is not the way to do it. Not all clowns are domesticatable, and many species require large specialised environments that most zoos can’t provide. And for the love of Bacchus talk to a gelotopoiologist before you make posts like this (scientist who specialises in clowns for those who don’t know).

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

This might be an odd question, but here goes: Since beginning my studies of clown husbandry (purely academic at this point), I’ve remembered a toy I had as a small child that was modeled after a clown, not unlike a toy in the shape of a cat or dog. I’m very curious to know if it was based on a real-life breed, or simply an artist’s rendering. I have been unable to find an image of the exact toy on the internet, so I will describe to the best of my ability:

The toy was roughly the size of a beanie baby, and while most of the body was soft and covered in fabric, the visible face and hands were made of smooth, shiny white porcelain or similar. The only coloration on this porcelain was a soft dark blue. The fingernails were this color, as were all facial details. The facial details were very fine, not unlike a china doll, and were at once childlike, elegant, and serene. I recall a Jester-like hat with tiny golden bells, though I can’t recall if there were two or three points on the har. The body was covered in dark purple and green fabric, and I recall small ruffles at the wrist and curly-toed shoes on the feet, though the shoes were more in proportion to what you’d see on a human versus the oversized shoes of most clowns.

If this toy was indeed based on a real species of clown, I would love to know which breed, as well as what I would need in order to responsibly care for one. If it was merely an artist’s rendering, then at least I learned something today!

P.S., the toy was passed to another child when I outgrew it, as is common in my culture. Wherever it is, I’m sure the toy is still loved.

It sounds like if this toy was based on a real clown then it might be a Pierrot jester mix given its coloring. I’d be really interested to see an artistic rendering of this figure to be able to more accurately identify it.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

witherburn clowns.

Look away

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

My partner and I were talking about some issues with local clowns and they made a very good point that I feel like needs to be shared more. Please do NOT release your clowns into the wild! Clowns, in most places, are extremely invasive species. If you’re living anywhere east of Texas you can absolutely not release a rodeo, I keep hearing about people doing this and it’s so upsetting. They don’t have the skills to survive if they’re not in the west guys.

[leviathansnake]

Bathing your clown

I've seen so many different posts related to clown care and such but I've seen nothing on bathing or cleaning your clown which I hope is due to a consensus on bathing because it is a highly irregular process and can vary wildly between different species.

so far I've seen three different ways of cleaning clowns that are either specific to a breed or just generally accepted across different breeds.

Dust baths Some clowns such as some Pierrot, hobo, and other thicker/denser coated breeds need dust baths as opposed to soap and water because similar to chinchillas, if there's moisture under their coats then there's a possibility they could develop mold or other fungal infections which can be incredibly harmful or even deadly to your clowns.

Just leave them alone Some clown breeds actually could be harmed by the lack of their natural pheromones. Again Hobo clowns shouldn't be washed EVER unless it is medically necessary, they should be left to their own natural smell as it is an indicator of many things to this bred (what troop they are part of, who they're mated to, mood, etc.). Hobo clowns should be left with an optional dust basin to bathe in however that is OPTIONAL and should not be forced on the clown to be bathed.

Regular bathing and trimming. Of course there are clowns that need regular bathing and trimming just as any standard pet does. So far I've found that its typically show breeds, smaller clowns, and the more common family breeds that can be bathed regularly. Although, you should still use a clown safe scentless shampoo & conditioner as again sent is important to clowns. plus it shouldn't be anything that could stain them a different color.

A clown's nails should be filed down regularly and you should brush their coat & teeth regularly regardless of breed, but that's just common clown knowledge.

Please find what bathing method is best for the health of your clown, there are also exceptions to every rule but you should find what method is safest and healthiest for your clown and what makes them happiest.

[clown-mom-85]

You gotta wash your clowns at least once a week! My Rodeo LOVES his baths. It helps get the dirt off after a long day of clowning. Plus prevents your home from smelling like livestock.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

That’s really bad for your rodeos health. Just like hobo clowns rodeos benefit a lot from dust baths. Also Rodeo clowns need livestock to live a happy life so where ever your rodeo clown is living should smell like livestock.

This post also implies that you’re keeping your rodeo in your house which is alright in small amounts but confining your rodeo to that small of a space can be really damaging.

I implore you to learn more about how you should be taking care of your rodeo clown, treating your clown like this will cause your clown to become depressed and drastically shorten their lifespan. Please for the sake of your clown do proper research

[simpledragonlover]

I just finished watching strange-eons clown husbandry video, and like... I'm so sold. Where do I get my first clown?

Can any more experienced clown owners give me some tips? Beginner breeds and how to care for them? Thnx :]

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

What clown would be best for you would depend a lot on your living situation. How much room do you have? Do you travel a lot? Do you have kids and/or pets? How much time would you be able to dedicate to your clown?

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

Is there a safe way to trim stilts? I'm starting to get concerned for the safety of my street performer!

I’m not an expert on street performers as they’re homo theatricus opposed to clowns which are homo ridiculous. However from what I know street performers should naturally shorten their own stilts in the process of using them. Similar to how beavers teeth will grow their entire lives and they chew on wood to keep them a manageable size, street performers stilts will grow their entire lives and naturally shorten from walking on hard surfaces (concrete, cobble stone, etc) so as long as you’re walking your street performer a healthy amount they should be fine.

There are cases of street performers growing their stilts at too high of a rate which can be caused by either genetic conditions or an unbalanced diet. I would consult with your vet on your concerns, but for the most part if you’re taking proper care of your street performer they should be fine without you trimming their stilts.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

My Jester-Mime Laz’s birthday is coming up this week so we celebrated this morning with a cake! Look at him he’s so cute with his little hat

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

there’s a user called carnival-cuts-co who is killing clowns to eat. they claim it’s ethical farming. what do you think? i’ve always seen clowns as pets like dogs, but far more intelligent. i don’t know if i can stomach the thought of someone eating clowns, much less selling clown meat to other people…

I think this issue is really complicated and I can see a lot of different sides to this. On one hand clown meat is a long standing delicacy in a lot of cultures and I don’t think it’s fair to deny people their traditional food. However, clowns are living thinking creatures.

I think any kind of farming of their meat cannot be ethical. Clowns crave love and attention from not just each other but humans and meat farmers are inevitably going to see their clowns as just that, meat.

I personally believe the only ethical way to consume clown meat is to hunt it for yourself, or buy it from a local hunter. This can be particularly good for areas where clowns are an invasive species and there is an over population of feral clowns.

It’s sad as a lover of clowns to see people eating them but at the end of the day I don’t think it’s my place to put down other peoples cultural practices. What we can do is advocate for more ethical ways of obtaining clown meat.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

Whats the quietest clown breed? And the loudest? What are their needs housing wise

Thanks for your question!

The quietest breed of clown would definitely be a mime as they don’t make any noises that are audible to most people, though children are sometimes able to hear them. I would suggest a mime only to an intermediate level clown owner as it can be harder to communicate with them than other clowns such as a party clown. People also often make the mistake of giving their mime a small amount of space because they believe that their mime only needs enough space for their invisible box but without sufficient space they will become depressed and often times can get stuck in their box.

The loudest clown in my experience would definitely be Rodeo clowns. Rodeo clowns where specifically bred to make as much of a distraction from bulls as possible and therefore have evolved to make louder sounds then most other clowns can produce. Rodeo clowns are a really big commitment and I would suggest them only to experienced clown owners who have the resources to care for them properly. They need a LOT of room, much more comparative to other breeds, and their diet can be hard to navigate in some regions.

[ceo-of-sloppy-women]

I don't see enough people talking about this, but your mimes still need candy! So do your rodeos! While rodeos can be fine with a diet of just nuts and deep-fried foods, a proper clown diet requires candy. There is also the common mistake that mimes can only eat black-and-white candy - which is completely untrue! Mimes and Rodeos need a well-rounded, colourful diet of candy to have the proper nutrients. By ignoring their clown nature and focusing solely on their subspecies, you are not giving your clowns the proper care they deserve.

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

So true!! I’ve spent a lot of time with rodeo clowns having received my PhD in Clown Breeding and Care from the TAMU satellite Clown Care College and directly working with the Houston Rodeo on multiple occasions, and I can tell you that Rodeo clowns are at their best when they have a good amount of Cotten candy incorporated into their diet. They also love candied and caramel apples as well as funnel cake. Please if you want to get a clown talk to a professional or learn what they need in their diet from reputable sources!

[buffoons-clownbreeder]

I know this account is mostly for my clown breeding however I wanted to show off a little drawing my jester-mime Laz made for me! It’s so sweet :)