Monterey Bay Aquarium
will byers stan first human second
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
NASA
Kiana Khansmith
Keni
YOU ARE THE REASON
cherry valley forever
Stranger Things
pixel skylines
Claire Keane
oozey mess
⁂
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
Cosmic Funnies
Kaledo Art
seen from United States
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@jackr-abbott
everything i've ever made
hey chat! i worry some of the stuff i work really hard on gets buried underneath the texts messages so i wanted to make everything accessible and visible :)
i'll keep updating as i write more. i'm very new to the game so please be patient. i'm slowly rediscovering my love for my writing and this is my chosen outlet. please leave requests or if you'd like to collab on a piece i'm always down. much love <3
MDNI!!!
The Pitt
prose:
The Beginning- wc 1.7k
The Gala- wc 5.2k
Recovery- wc 2k
Rubber Glove Dolls- wc 5.6k
text exchanges:
Mcdonald's Breakfast
Chicken Cutlets
Can't Resist (NSFW)
ice cream & happy tears
Dr. Abbot
Outfit
Animal Kingdom:
prose:
Andrew- wc 2.6k MDNI!!! SMUT!!!
Poolside Pope- wc 2.7k MDNI!!! SMUT!!!
Animal Planet- wc 2.1k MDNI!!! SMUT!!!
Girl's night gone south- wc 3.6k MDNI!!! SMUT!!!
Trying Something New - wc 2.6k MDNI!!! SMUT!!!
been three hours, there are 55 votes, not a single person has voted for you to stop your freakiness. I say this is a sign to go freakier and get kinkier
Trying Something New
[pope cody x reader smut] [established relationship] [fem/afab reader] [oral both ways] [p in v unprotected] [butt stuff] [sweat/sent stuff] [riding] [cock warming] [marking] [freaked out]
word count: 2.6k
summary: after a cozy night in and a few cocktails, you ask your boyfriend andrew if there's anything he wants to do in the bedroom that you haven't done yet. his answer leads to a night of extremely pleasurable exploration and loving connection.
authour's note: guys this is my most freaked out fic yet. not that it's overly aggressive or anything, just outside of my usual imagination. it came to me in a vision and i had to act. huge shout out to everyone who answers my polls ya'll give me the confidence i need. i hope you guys like this level of freak, lmk how you feel!
much love <3
It had been pouring all day long; the sky was gray and hazy, thunder boomed and thunder flashed every so often. It had been the perfect day. You and Pope had spent the day curled up in your apartment together not doing much of anything. You ate breakfast and drank coffee over a newspaper you split in half and swapped half way through. You curled up on the couch and took turns picking shows- his action and car shows while yours are 2000's comedy comforts. You take a long, hot, shower, the water hitting your skin like a gentle massage.
You step into the bedroom in just your towel, hair still wet and starting to curl, to see Pope propped up on the bed, shirtless, and staring at you like a sniper latched to a target. You adjust your towel and reach for the clothes you laid on the bed pre-shower. Pope kicks out a foot and knocks your hand out of the way. Your head jerks up to look at him. A small smile traced your boyfriend's lips as he leaned over to grab the clothes and toss them over the other side of the bed. You look at him confused before he speaks.
"I want you to sit on my face." Plain and simple. More of a command than a request. He moves himself closer to you and bring one of his hands to the one that is holding your towel in place. He tugs at it gently and any confusion or resistance you might have melts away. You lets his hand guide yours down, and as the towel comes tumbling down around you, you can't tell what sensation is more intense: the cold air on your slightly damp skin, or Pope's gaze as his eyes devour your exposed body.
Without another word he's pulling you into his lap, kissing you with one hand in your wet hair and the other gripping your waist. Your tongues explore each other's mouths and your hips instinctively grind down on the bulge forming in your boyfriend's pants.
"Fuck Andrew." You blurt out as you wrench your lips apart. His face is buried in your neck, kissing and biting, and the stubble of his facial hair prickles in the best way possible. He kisses down your chest and under your breasts. He starts biting and sucking harder and you know he's leaving marks. He sucks and bites and kisses back up your chest to your neck to leave a few more marks above your collar bone and below your ear.
"I want you on my face. Please." Pope states between bites of your neck. He's not quite begging, but you can tell he's desperate. You run your hands up his chest to rest on Pope's shoulders and guide him to lay down.
It's your turn to look at him now. The way he looks up at you -the desperation in his eyes- you can't get enough of it.
"Please." He's begging now.
"Of course sweetheart." You purr as you lift yourself onto his mouth. As you ease down onto your boyfriend, his hands reach around your thighs and pull you tight to his face. In seconds your head is thrown back and your hands are grabbing for Pope's hair. He knows exactly what to do with your clit; just how to lick and suck to make you scream his name in a torrent of expletives and moans.
"Grind baby." He manages to grunt out. You oblige happily. Your hips grind onto his mouth but it's not enough. You're grinding on his face harder and harder. His stubble is just prominent enough to add the perfect spark of pain to the pleasure you're writhing in. It's not long before you're screaming and grinding your way to an orgasm. Your boyfriend holds you tighter as you climax, burying his face in you as deep as he can while you twitch and clench around him.
"Fuck! Fuck- Andrew, god." It’s another few seconds before Pope finally lets you up. You collapse next to him on the bed and roll over to kiss him. Your tongue searches his mouth looking for every little bit of yourself.
"I love the way we taste together." You whisper almost in unison as you pull apart, your head falling to his chest and his arm wrapping around you. You lay there for a minute just holding each other before Pope gets up and retrieves your clothes he threw across the room a few minutes ago. He hands them to you with a kiss to your forehead.
"I'm gonna get started on dinner, why don't you get dressed and join me when you're ready." Pope could be scary, and intimidating, and dangerous, but he could also be so gentle, and loving, and steady. You smile and reach for the clothes.
"I'll be right there my love. I've had some cocktail recipes I've been wanting to try, any interest?"
"Yeah. I'll try a couple." And with that he was out the door.
You spent the evening cooking dinner together and trying various proportions of some pomegranate citrus cocktail, trying to find just the right balance. After a full meal and a few drinks you found yourselves in bed. You knew what a few cocktails did to Pope. His hands were all over you and those puppy dog eyes of his were working is overdrive. A question popped into your head and before you could stop yourself it was coming out of your mouth.
"Is there anything you want to do in bed that we haven't done yet?" You ask as you curl into your boyfriend.
"Uh. Shit. Really?" He's clearly taken aback and rightfully so.
"Really. I wanna know. Maybe I can make it happen." You press a few soft kisses into his chest.
"I guess, fuck," you love when Pope's flustered like this, "I guess I've always wanted to try 69? I don't expect you to use your mouth if you don't want to but I wanna taste you from the back." You blush and pull yourself deeper into him. Your first instinct is to be embarrassed, but you sit with it for a few seconds and realize it might be fun.
You lift your head up to meet his gaze, "I think I can make that happen." You whisper as your hand wanders towards the waistband of his shorts. You start slowly tugging at them but Pope quickly gets tired and yanks down both his shorts and underwear. His hands are on you in a blur, pulling at your clothes like if he doesn’t take this opportunity now he'll never get it again. In seconds you're bare in front of him for the second time in 4 hours.
You hesitate to just climb on him so you lean down to kiss Pope who is already on his back. He kisses you back with the passion that keeps you coming back for more every time. You blush slightly as you pull away, the idea of what you're about to do making you more shy than you normally would be.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Pope asks, noticing the hesitation in your body and on your face.
"Yes, I promise I do. I'm just a little nervous." You admit.
"That's okay, we'll take it at your pace. If you want to stop we stop; we don't do anything you don't want to do." He's so sincere your fear melts away enough for you to begin to shift your body into position. You swing your knee over his shoulder and arch your back as you slide down his stomach. Pope's dick growing ever harder and getting closer and closer to your face both excites you and makes you nervous. You feel his hands wrap around your legs and rub the insides of your thighs gently. He moves his hands up to your ass, gripping tightly. Your pussy clenches around nothing as his fingers trace your most sensitive spots. With a grunt he grabs you tightly and pulls you onto his face.
You let out a moan as his tongue plunges into you and his fingers dig into your ass. Your head falls and your face is buried in his thigh, his rock hard cock an inch from your face. You've never felt like this before; your bodies fully pressed together, your boyfriend's mouth absolutely devouring you, you moan and squirm against him. Pope always knows how to make you feel so good you don't know how to form coherent sentences. You're basking in the feeling of his tongue on your clit when you remember this is, indeed, a two player game. You know there's no pressure and that's what makes you feel comfortable enough to try something new. You lift your head to look at his throbbing one. Your hand wraps around his shaft and he lets out a groan of pleasure.
The vibrations of his voice on your cunt is too much and yet you need more. You press your lips to his head and swirl your tongue around it slowly. Pope moans again and the vibrations mixed with the prickle of his stubble and the warm wetness of his tongue made you squeal. You take him further into your mouth and you swear you can feel him growing in your mouth. You're both moaning into each other as he sucks on your clit hard and you take him all the way to the back of your throat in response.
"Fuck you taste so good for me." Pope grunts into you.
God those vibrations.
That stubble.
"Andrew, god, you feel so good." You sink your mouth back down around him and he groans and grips you tighter. Pope responds by circling your clit harder and faster, pressing into it with the flat of his tongue just how you like.
Pope's hands reach for your stomach and begin to pull you up, off of him. You don’t understand what's happening until you feel his tongue trail back from your clit, over your hole, and further towards your back door. You gasp with recognition and he freezes under you.
"This okay?" He asks cautiously. You take a moment to consider and decide there's a first time for everything.
"Yeah. Yes. I want to try, with you." You can feel him smile under you even if you can't see it and it makes you smile too. You feel so safe and so alive all at the same time. In the back of your head a voice tells you this is what love feels like and you can't find a solid argument against it.
His tongue circles around your hole and you squirm at the new sensation. He holds your hips in place while he makes the circles smaller and smaller until he's right up against your hole. You squeal and shake at the sensation and your hand reaches for his stomach to steady yourself. You enjoy the new feeling but all of a sudden you start to feel empty. You need him back inside you. You lean back down to take him in your mouth again.
Pope moans into you and goes back down to your clit. He's alternating between your holes now, like he can't choose. He finally settles on you clit and sucks hard, pulling you deeper into him by your ass. You feel yourself getting close and you're both so desperate to cum and yet you wish this moment could last for hours. Your boyfriend knows you, and your body, better than anyone else. He knows exactly how to make you shake and scream and he's pulling out every trick in his book. You're so close and he knows it. He pushes you over the edge, the muscles in your legs tighten and your back arches but you don't stop using your mouth on him. As you ride out the multiple waves of your orgasm you continue to work his dick hard and fast. You're bobbing up and down, hand filling the space your mouth isn’t when Pope starts grunting harder and harder.
"Fuck I'm gonna- fuck!" He wraps his arms around you and pulls you off of him before he can finish. You collapse back onto his thigh, his skin warm and soft, his dick still hard an inch from your face; heat radiating off, and spit dripping down it. You run your hands up and down his legs. You're both breathing hard and your clit is still pulsing from the orgasm hat was just ripped out of you.
"Fuck." You let out in a half whimper half exhale. You take a few more breaths then lift yourself to turn around. You need to kiss him, to taste yourself on him. You swing your leg over once, and then twice, turning around to straddle him. You grind your hips back on his rock hard dick and you press your lips to his. His moan combined with the way you taste is too much to handle.
"I need you inside me." You can't tell if you're begging or commanding but it doesn't matter. His hand reaches up to guide himself into you and you both gasp and moan in harmony as Pope's tip enters your tight hole. You grip onto his shoulders and he wraps his arms around your neck, pulling you in close. Your face is pressed into his neck and you leave kisses and bites wherever you can reach. He's thrusting into you and you're grinding down to meet him. The rhythm isn't perfect, and it doesn't need to be. It's raw, and messy, and desperate and so are both of you.
"Andrew- guuh- I love the way you fucking fill me up. It's so much- it's so good." You're babbling and whimpering from the intensity of the pleasure you feel.
"My pretty girl, anything for you. You feel so fucking good around me, don't stop clenching. Fuck, god, fuck, you feel amazing. And you smell so... god com'ere"
You're both grinding and thrusting into each other as hard and fast as you can. His hand reaches for your arm and he crosses it over his face so your armpit is level with is nose. He takes a deep inhale before drawing his tongue across you, licking up every bit of sweat he had fucked out of you. You gasp in shock before realizing just how hot you find that. He's so obsessed with you he literally wants to lick your sweat. You clench around him tighter than you thought was possible and his moans get even more desperate.
"God baby, I love you. You feel so good around me, fuck I love you." He's babbling now too.
"I love you too. God I want you to come. Please I fucking need it." You're so desperate to make him feel just as good as he makes you feel.
"I will, shit, of course I will. You know just what to do, just keep- fuck, oh god, I'm- I'm, fuck!" And with that he empties himself into you with a grunt and a moan, then a whimper and a sigh. You melt into each other and roll onto your sides. You kiss each other gently amongst the heavy breathing and expletives you exchange. He goes to pull out of you but you pull him closer instead.
"Just a little longer, please. I just love the way you feel." You ask shyly.
"Of course my love. Anything you need." He reassures with a kiss to your forehead.
'a little longer' turns into falling asleep tangled up in each other, your ear pressed to Pope's chest listening to his heartbeat. You held each other the entire night and when you woke up you were pleased to find he was still inside you.
working on posts rn!!
ITS HERE
i have a few great requests to get to (please feel free to send me whatever your freaky little heart desires) but first there's something that's been scratching at my brain. i had a dream that inspired me to write, what i'm hoping will be, my best smut to date. hopefully it'll be out late tn. if you want to be added to my tag list lmk!!
sneak peak: domestic pope, a cozy night making dinner together and drinking cocktails. one thing leads to another and you're having sex in ways you've never had before. it's loving, it's needy, and of course pope doesn't know what to do with all the emotions he's feeling.
(there's 69, very lowkey butt stuff, reader on top and sent/sweat/pheromone stuff)
are we reading this?
yes i match your freak
too freaky no thanks
I crave joyous pope cody
i've been wanting to write more fluffy stuff abt pope bc he deserves some joy but i still want it to be accurate to his character. i'm thinking little domestic moments- driving together, making dinner, date night etc. what do we think?
also PLEASE send requests if you have any i'd love to hear them :)
determine pope's future
yes please fluff pope
fluff but with smut
actually i want things more dark and twisted
Girl's night gone south
[pope cody x reader] [reader & pope pov] [jealous pope] [pope follows reader] [mentions of alcohol] [brief mention of fight] [pope punches a guy] [SOBER smut] [p in v] [oral for both] [consent] [kinda swithcy?] [desperate pope]
word count: 3.6k
summary: it's girl's night out at daren's bar and the thought of you going out looking like that just doesn't sit right with pope. he knows it's wrong but he follows you. when some guy grabs you he swoops in and scoops you up. he takes you home and gets you tucked in bed. in the morning you return the favor in the best way you know how :)
author's note: hey chat! ya'll seem to like my pope cody smut so here's some more. i was craving a jealous stalker pope but not making it too dark. if you want it darker tho lmk... anyway i hope you little freaks enjoy. much love <3
Your bracelets jingle as you clasp the backs on to your earrings. Standing at the bathroom counter, leaning over the sink to get a better view as you fiddle with the teeny tiny backings. You feel Pope's eyes on you before you catch a glimpse of him standing in the doorway from the mirror. You quickly became aware of how arched your back is- Pope noticed too. He stares at you without saying a word as you continue to get ready. Music humming in the background as you adjust your hair and your top one last time, you could feel Pope examining your every move without blinking, like if he couldn't spare even a millisecond of looking at you. You turn to head out the door but Pope doesn't move from the doorway.
"Where are you going again?" He half grunts half questions.
"The bar with some friends." You reply casually.
"Which bar?" He presses both verbally and physically as he takes a half step towards you.
"Daren's." You reply standing your ground.
"With who?" You freeze for a second. Your first instinct is to get defensive at Pope's line of questions but once you take a beat you think about Andrew, not Pope, and you realize he just needs to know you're safe.
"The girls you know from my work, and some of their friends I haven’t met yet." You see, in real time, his jaw muscles tighten and set. "Daren will be there the whole time and there are a bunch of regulars I'm familiar with. I promise I'll be completely safe." His jaw loosens a little but not entirely.
What you don't realize is that he's not only concerned about your safety. He's seen you go out in that outfit a million times but not since you've been his girlfriend. Not since you were finally his. The idea of anyone but him seeing you like this made his spine itch and his fists clench against his will. He's not proud of it. He knows full well that you're your own person and cand handle yourself just fine, but that knowledge isn't enough to keep the knot in his stomach from tightening.
"I know." He grunts. "Just, let me pick you up okay? Don't get in an uber or god-so-help-me anyone who's had a single drink's car." His eyes are boring holes into yours and his eyebrows were furrowed in a very serious way.
"Yeah, okay." You lean in and place your hand on his chest. "I've got my girls, I've got Daren, and I've got myself- I'll be safe." And you press a kiss to his cheek. Pope softens ever so slightly- you wouldn't have noticed it months ago but now it was as clear as day. He reaches for your waist and spins you around. He presses his forehead to yours as he walks you backwards, one hand around your waist the other on the back of your neck pulling your forehead to his.
"You sure you want to go out tonight?" Pope pulls you into him while at the same time forcing you back.
"Pope I haven't been out in like two weeks, I really want to go out with my friends." He freezes. He hears the slight plea in your voice. He immediately feels guilty and pulls away quickly.
"Yeah, fuck. Go." He barks turning his head. You instinctively reach for his face and guide it so your eyes meet.
"I'll only be gone a few hours. I promise I'll call you when it's time to come home, then I'll come back here. To you. I promise." You kiss him gently and rub your lip gloss that transferred off his lips with your thumb.
"Okay." Is all he grumbles.
Your phone buzzes: it's your friends outside. You reach for your purse. The sound of your heels on the floor send a shock through Pope with each little click. You kiss him one more time before heading for the door. As your hand hits the knob Pope chokes out, "I'm here. If, you need me- anything. Just call." Your smile boarders a grin. "I will sweetheart. See you soon."
And with that you're gone. Pope sits himself down on the couch and flicks on the tv. He flips through about fourteen channels before shutting the tv off. He can't pay attention to anything anyway. All he can think of is you, out, in that skirt and top that left very little to the imagination. He knew the kinds of guys at Daren's bar. Alone or not, no matter how much he rationalized it, Pope just couldn’t stand it. He went to the fridge to try and get a glass of water. Before he could even make it to the fridge he scooped his keys off the countertop and made his way out the door.
He felt like he was in a trance. He knew what he was doing crossed the line, but he couldn't help himself. He just needed to make sure you were safe- that no one messed with you. Not now that you were his. He was on autopilot. He parked in the back of the bar's parking lot and grabbed a baseball cap out of his backseat. Sliding it on Pope made his way into the bar. He scanned the room and spotted you almost immediately. You and your friends are in the back corner, a round of shots already being passed out. The group is bigger than Pope thought it would be and he can't tell if that's a good or bad thing.
Pope makes his way to the opposite side of the bar and orders a beer so he can blend in better not because he plans on drinking it. His eyes never leave you. Pope stares as you speak animatedly, and laugh, and drink with your friends. It warms his heart to see you so happy and he's glad he didn't push harder for you to stay home.
As easy mannered as he's trying to be, something is bugging Pope. The guy behind you draws his attention. He's standing a little too close to you, laughing a little too hard at your jokes. He makes sure your cup is full and buys you multiple drinks. You don't seem to pay much attention to him. You show the appropriate amount of gratitude for the drinks, and a polite vibe, but nothing more. Pope isn't worried at all about what you'll do, but he knows what that guy wants and it makes Pope's blood boil at just the thought.
Both men stare at you as you take shot after shot, keeping pace with the group. The hours pass and the night gets louder and louder. The place is packed- hot and sweaty- and the music is blaring. The lights feel so bright yet somehow only illuminate a small circle around them. Andrew's tired and he wants to go home but he can't bring himself to leave you here.
----------------------
You're standing in a big group of your friends new and old. It's so refreshing to be with every day people not involved in criminal activity. Both the conversation and drinks flowed. You're drunk and it's hot and late. You check your phone for the time: 1:47 AM.
"Hey! I'm gonna go outside for a smoke and some fresh air. Ironic I know but whatever." You shout to the person next to you over the music. You reach for your purse and think you might call Pope to come get you. As you head out you realize someone is following you.
Pope realizes too.
You're both hyper aware of the man following you out of the bar.
You look for a friend or anyone to come with you, but no one meets your glance. You don't know the man behind you, he's a friend of a friend. Surely he's fine right? He probably just heard you were going for a smoke and wants one too. You make your way outside but stay close to the door to the bar.
Pope is both terrified and furious. The idea of you drunk and alone with another man- so many things could go wrong and he couldn't live with himself if any of that happened to you. He knew better than to just walk out the front door so he made his way into Daren's office and out the window to come around the back. When he saw you, you were casually smoking a cigarette with the mystery man.
He can see you talking but you don't look happy. Pope holds himself back until he sees a hand around your wrist and hears a scream leave the lips that kisses him goodbye just hours ago. Without hesitation Pope is rounding the corner and his jaw is connecting with the man's temple. Your friend's friend hits the ground and Pope delivers a swift kick to his stomach. Without a word Pope turns around and scoops you up by the waist. He throws you over his shoulder and marches you towards his car.
"Andrew! What the fuck? I- Fuck Andrew!" You shout, drunk and confused as you're hauled away. You thrash and kick but Pope's grip doesn't loosen. A little part in the back of your head makes a note of how easily Pope can carry you around, but it's buried by the weight of what just happened. How long had Pope been there? Did he really just deck that guy in the head? How many drinks did you have? Did any of that matter?
Suddenly the fight went out of you. You went limp in your boyfriend's arms. Or across his shoulder really. He kept you safe. He was there when you needed him. In minutes Pope makes it to the car, fishing the keys out of his pocket and opening the door. He slides you off his shoulder and into the passenger seat. He reaches across to buckle you in and you reach for his face as he clicks you in place. You turn his face towards yours and plant a kiss to his forehead.
"Thank you." You whisper. Then hiccup. Pope holds your hands in his and brings them to his lips to kiss them softly.
"Let's get you home okay?" He places your hands gently on your lap and closes the door.
---------------------------------
Pope is physically carrying you to bed fireman style. You feel like a drunken princess as he walks you effortlessly through the house and to the bedroom. You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him over and over. You're giggling and smiling through each kiss. All you care about is that you're in the arms of a man who will quite literally fight to protect you. You feel safe and cared for. The liquor is making everything hazy and spin slightly. You're in Pope's room now and he's placing you on his bed. His hands are at the hem of your skirt pulling it down.
"Oh?" You ask running a hand through Pope's hair. He doesn't answer but reaches for your top. You go to kiss him and he hesitates. He kisses you back, but slowly and with restraint. Instead of reaching for your exposed body he reaches for his dresser drawer. He pulls out a t-shirt and shorts. Before you can protest he's slipping the shirt over your head.
"As much as I want nothing more than you wrapped around my cock right now, you're drunk. It wouldn't right. If you still want to in the morning I'm happy to do whatever you want. For now, let's just get you to bed okay? There are some makeup wipes in the bathroom. I'll get you in these pj's then I'll take off your makeup." And he does just that. You pepper little kisses along his neck and arms while he gets you dressed. You feel the room shift in the brief moment he leaves for the bathroom. When he comes back with the makeup remover you can't help but smile.
"Thank you Andrew." You say just above a whisper. "You're so good to me."
"Anytime." Is all he says as he reaches into the pack for a wipe. His hands are gentle as they caress your face. He uses just enough pressure to be effective, but no more than necessary. Before you know it you're clean and dressed for bed. Pope tucks you in and places a kiss to your forehead. He turns off the light and gets himself ready for bed in the dark. Within minutes you feel him slide into bed next to you, his chest pressing up against your back and his hand wrapping around your waist. He pulls you in close and plants a kiss to the back of your neck. "Sweet dreams my angel." He whispers in your ear. You smile sleepily and whisper "Sweet dreams," back.
The night passes and you stay wrapped in Pope's arms the entire time.
------------------------------------
You wake up to the sun poking through the curtains. You squint and roll over into Pope's chest.
"Good morning." He grumbles, his voice low from having just woken up.
"You been up long?" You ask.
"Only a few minutes. I didn't want to wake you. Sorry if I did."
"No not at all," you reassure "it was the damn sun more than anything."
"How are you feeling? You hungover?" He asks running his hand up and down your arm.
"Surprisingly no. I have a little headache but nothing too crazy." You smile and kiss him. "I was actually thinking about what you said last night." Pope's eyes widen slightly. "You said I could have whatever I wanted, and I think I know what I want." You press a firm kiss to your boyfriend's lips. "I want to make you feel good. I want to thank you for last night. I don't know how or why you were there, but you were and you kept me safe. Now it's my turn to repay the favor." You smile and begin to kiss down his neck.
Pope pulls back and you freeze. You know sex isn't always easy for Pope – it isn't always easy for you either- and you never want to make him uncomfortable. "Are you sure?" He asks, a hint of panic in his voice. "I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything. I was just doing my job as your boyfriend keeping you safe. It's not a transactional thing."
You smile so wide it feels a bit awkward. You fix your face to a more appropriate expression. "I know and that's one of the many reasons you mean so much to me." You place a soft kiss to his chest. "If you're okay with it, I'd really like to suck your dick, but only if you're comfortable."
Pope draws in a quick inhale then nods. "Yeah. Okay, yeah. As long as you want to." You're immediately pulling at his boxers.
"Oh, I want to." And with that you free him from the thin layer of cotton separating you. You're running your hand up and down his shaft, pulling gasps and grunts from your boyfriend with each stroke. You run your palm over the tip and squeeze. He lets out a faint moan that's more than enough to drive you crazy. You need more. You need him moaning an whimpering at your touch. You kiss down his chest and stomach, across his v-line, and then down his cock. You press your lips to his tip and his hips buck. You smile and do it again.
Pope is gasping and moaning as you tease him with licks and kisses from his tip, all the way down his shaft, and back up again. He's gripping onto the bedsheets as you toy with him. "Please-" is all he can get out before your lips are wrapped around him and you swallow him completely. In one motion you have his entire dick in your mouth. A risky first move but worth it in the end. The moan that erupts from your boyfriend's mouth is so loud and so desperate you can feel yourself getting wet just from the sound of it.
You bob up and down on him, your tongue swirling in circles or tracing the vein on the underside of his shaft. Pope is moaning and gripping the bed. You're loving every second. You're thinking to yourself how you could do this for hour when Pope finally cries out "Fuck! God, stop. I'm gonna cum and I don't want to yet fuck." You slow down but don't stop. You tease his head for a few more seconds before finally releasing him from your mouth. You kiss up his body, hands trailing behind your lips.
"How can I make you feel good now baby?" You purr into Pope's ear.
"I really, fuck, I really wanna taste you angel."
"You sure?" That wasn't what you were expecting but it makes you smile.
"Yes." If it was possible to beg with one word that was exactly what he was doing. In seconds he has you on your back, hands pulling his shorts off you. He didn't take time to kiss your thighs or around your folds- tease you- like he usually would. This time he dives straight for your clit, his tongue moving in the perfect pattern he knew you loved so much. Now you were the one moaning and reaching for the sheets. Your back arches and your toes curl. Your legs tighten around Pope's head and it just makes him go faster.
"Fuck, Andrew!" You cry out as he slips a finger and then another inside. He's absolutely devouring you now and you don't know how long you'll last. You're holding back as best you can, trying to make this last as long as possible, when Andrew curls his fingers into just the right spot and you explode, moaning and gasping as you shake and pulse.
"Andrew, fuck, kiss me." You demand and pull him up to meet you. You kiss each other with the ferocity of two people who've waited overnight for this- sleeping or not it didn't matter. You pull yourself on top of your boyfriend and reach back to put hit tip right at your entrance.
"This okay?" You ask before moving any further.
Pope nods "Fuck, yes." And with that you slide down onto him. You both gasp and shudder as you feel him fill you up. You burry him all the way inside you and keep him there for a second, pulsing around him, before you begin to bounce up and down. Hips rocking, head thrown back, and moans so loud you're worried someone might hear, you give Pope everything you've got. You move your head to look down at your boyfriend and his eyes are rolling back in his head. His hands move to your hips to help you bounce and grind even faster and deeper. The moans that erupt out of Pope's mouth are so desperate and visceral that you can't take it anymore. You squeeze down tighter on his cock and he responds with a strangled moan and fucks you into him harder.
"Andrew, you feel so fucking good. I can't take much more. Are you close?"
"Fuck, yes. Cum for me I need to feel it please." One of his hands reaches from your hip to your stomach and his thumb finds your clit. He rubs circles into you as you grind up and down. In no time another orgasm is crashing through you. Your hands grab at his chest for stability but Pope keeps pumping you up and down on his shaft. Your knees are weak and your cunt is so sensitive but all you can think about is drawing the hot, sticky, ropes of cum out of your boyfriend's cock. You wanted, needed him to feel as good as he made you feel.
Pope's pace became more sporadic. His grunts and moans got louder. With a few more thrusts, he pulled you off of him, grabbed his dick, and pumped several times until he was moaning and cumming all over himself. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He whimpered as his legs jerked and his hands shook.
You crawl next to him, holding him close but still careful to avoid the mess you both just made.
"God you feel so good," you exhale and kiss Pope's cheek, "you feelin' okay?" You ask with another kiss to the cheek.
"Yeah. Good actually. Really good." A small smile creeps across Pope's face as he speaks.
"Let me go get you a towel baby." You kiss him once more and head to the bathroom to get a warm damp towel. You return to Pope and begin to clean him up. He flinches at first but when you pause and look at him for reassurance, he lets you keep going. You make sure to be gentle but keep a firm pressure. You throw the towel in the hamper and crawl back into bed.
"Thank you for taking care of me." You say positioning yourself to look Andrew dead in the eyes.
"I should be saying the same to you." He responds.
"I really like you Andrew. You mean so much to me, really." You blush slightly, you know emotions aren't Pope's strongest area but you need him to know how you feel.
"I like you a lot too." He says with a smile, and leans in to kiss you.
You spend the next hour holding each other, listening to each other's breath and heartbeats, before going about your day. The feeling of Pope's hands on your hips guiding you down on him lingers for hours. You can't shake the feeling until you're back in bed that night, him inside of you again just how you need.
i'm so indecisive
UPDATE: i combined 1 & 3, #2 will hopefully be my next fic if all goes well. read Gir's night gone south here :)
what kinda pope are we looking for?
reader is dressed up for girls night and pope is going feral
reader realizes pope has been making space for them in his apartment
jealous pope
smth else (send me a request!)
Animal Planet
[andrew pope cody x reader] [fluff into smut] [ fem reader] [oral on reader] [emotional ish pope] [watching animal planet]
word count: 2.1k
author's note: i've seen a couple fics abt watching national geographic/animal planet w/ cody but in the ones i've read the reader kinda begrudgingly obliges because they love pope not bc they like the show. i love that and think it's super cute and it gave me the idea for the reader to be j as into it as pope is. he's surprised and suspicious at first but after a few times he realizes this is something you can bond over. ofc he doesn't know hot to communicate his gratitude with words so he eats you out instead. hope you little freaks enjoy. much love <3
It was just you and Pope home that night. Craig and Daren were at the bar, Smurf was out doing god knows what, and J was out with Nicky. The two of you were just now plopped down on the couch after taking a long, hot shower together, and eating a dinner that Pope made regularly. You shared a lot of the same safe foods so meals were usually pretty easy when it was just you two.
You drape yourself around him- arm over his chest and your leg over his lap- while he reaches for the remote. You're clad in his t-shirt soft from use and age, and a pair of his boxers. He's shirtless and his sweatpants do a very poor job of hiding his dick print. His legs were spread it took so much restraint for you to not slide your hand down his pants right then but you both wanted a cozy night and you didn't want to ruin that.
Pope turned on the tv as you cuddled into him, and flipped through the channels. He passed some sports and a few action movies. He hesitated at an episode of animal planet then flipped the channel again.
"Wait no, go back." You request.
He looks puzzled but does as you ask. You lay your head on his chest and angle yourself so you can see the TV. You both watch the screen for a minute or two. This episode was about penguins- you love penguins. The way they waddle and dive makes you giddy and their mating rituals (penguin pebbling) are so sweet. You'd study them more if you had the time or energy. You were settled in enjoying the show when Pope cleared his throat and spoke up.
"We don't have to watch this just because you know I like it. I know it's stupid, I don't even know why I watch it." You could feel the shame in his voice. You knew he was teased for most things he enjoyed and it broke your heart.
"I don't think it's stupid at all; I actually enjoy it myself. If you were asking me to watch an episode about bugs? Hard pass. But other than that I like nature shows, especially ones about marine life. They're calming and the narrators usually have a soothing British voice, I like them." You run your hand across his stomach slowly as you speak. Not sexually, just so he feels you're there.
"Are you sure? Because we can watch something else." You can tell he's having a hard time believing you.
"I'd like to watch this please." You reply kissing his bare chest then repositioning yourself to see the screen. Pope's hand finds your back and rubs back and forth over your (his) shirt before slipping his hand under the shirt. His rough hand feels so steady on the soft skin of your back. You lay there for an entire episode simply holding each other and watching quietly. The next episode started up: meercats. He went to change the channel again but you stopped him.
"Unless you're bored this episode looks really cute, we should watch it." You feel his hand reach for your chin to tilt your head up to meet his gaze. He didn't respond, instead he kissed you. Hard and deep at first, his lips crashing into yours; then softer after a moment like he was scared of hurting you. After a brief minute of passion Pope pulls back and holds your face as he stares into your eyes.
"What was that for?" You ask with a smile.
"You're just, I don't know. You're really nice to me." His words hung in the air. You couldn't think of what to say to him right away so you kissed him first.
"Of course I'm nice to you. I really like you, you're important to me, and I want to take care of you." You could see Pope was struggling to process your words. You softly press your palm to his chest and kiss his cheek. "You mean something to me Andrew; you mean a lot to me." Something shifted in Pope at your words. He brought your face back up to kiss him.
He was kissing you like he needed all of you. He shifted you so you were straddling his lap with such ease it made your stomach flip. He pulled your hips down onto him and you instinctively grind yourself into him. You're moaning into each other's mouths, hips bucking into hips and hands tangling in hair. Pope reaches a hand up your shirt to find your nipple and brush it gently with his thumb. You gasp and arch your back even further. You're kissing and touching and grinding until something crosses your mind and you pull back.
"Andrew, stop, for a second. We don't have to do anything if you feel like... you owe me? Or something? I genuinely wanted to watch that show it's not like I sacrificed anything. Plus you never owe me sex I mean it's not a transactional thing-" he cuts you off by placing his hand to your cheek and his thumb over your lips.
"You were nice to me, I want to be nice to you." He replies looking at you with those perfect puppy dog eyes of his.
"Do you want to? Or do you feel like you have to?" Pope considers your question for a moment. You can tell no one has ever taken his feelings into consideration like this before.
"I want to." He sees the look of suspicion on your face. "I'm sure."
"We can stop whenever you want to stop okay? There's no pressure on my end at all."
Those fucking eyes.
Those fucking puppy dog eyes.
The way they droop just so at the corners.
The desire behind them.
"Okay." He inhales before pulling you back into him for another kiss. In seconds his hand is back under your shirt rubbing tenderly across your nipple. You're moaning into his mouth and he whines into yours. With a sudden jerk he's rolling you both over on the couch so he's on top of you with your legs wrapped around his back. Pope is grinding himself into the thin fabric of his boxers you're wearing. He loves seeing you in his clothes, like it's a way you can feel him even if you're not touching, but right now he wants them off.
Pope's pulling at your legs as he kisses your neck, unlatching them from his torso and closing them enough so he can start tugging at the boxers. "Fuck," you whisper as you help shimmy out of your bottoms. Pope's immediately spreading your legs and hungrily kissing your inner thighs. "You can bite me if you want." You invite; you can tell he's holding back and you want him to let go with you. He responds by groaning in pleasure as he sinks his teeth into the skin on your inner thigh. You gasp at the pinch and reach for his hair.
He's kissing closer and closer to your center. Soon his mouth is hovering over your cunt and his eyes are practically rolling back in his head with how strained they are to look at you. "May I?" He asks placing a kiss right above your slit. "Fuck, yes of course." You reply in a series of panting breaths as your hand slides from his hair to his cheek. Pope smiles slightly at the look of desire on your face and it makes your heart swell. His smiles are so rare and precious, but they've been more frequent the more you're together.
Without another word his face is buried in you. His tongue is circling your clit with varying speed and intensity so you never know what's coming next. Your hand finds his back and you grip it with every bit of strength you can muster trying to brace yourself for the way his tongue is torturing you in the best way possible.
"Dig your nails into me baby." Pope doesn't lift his head to speak, he speaks into you. His muffled voice and the vibration of his words make your toes curl and your nails instinctively dig into his back leaving long, red marks. Pope groans into your cunt as he increases the speed and pressure of his tongue. Your screams and moans bounce around the room. The vibrations from his moans and growls are enough to send you over the edge.
"Fuck Andrew- I'm, fuck, I'm cumming." You spit out through staggered breaths and moans.
"That’s my girl come for me." And with a few more flicks of his tongue your back is arching and your legs are shaking as an orgasm rushes through you. It takes you a second before you realize Pope isn't stopping. "Andrew- god." Your head is fuzzy and light and sentences are too hard to form.
"I'm not done with you." This time he doesn't speak into you but lifts his head to place a kiss on your stomach. His hand trails up your thigh as his mouth kisses back towards your clit. His mouth circles your clit and sucks it gently as he slips a finger into you. You moan so loud it strains your throat. You're already so sensitive and now he's sucking on your clit and fingering you like you're a gallon of ice water after he just ran a marathon. Pope slides another finger into you and reaches up to hit that spot you love so much.
Your hands are searching for anything and everything that might provide some stability. You grab the back of the couch, the blankets, Pope's curls, but finally settle on his shoulders. Your hips are bucking into him, practically riding his face and fingers but you can't help it. "You feel so fucking good." You try and justify how desperate you've become. "My good girl I want you to cum for me again. I just want you to feel good for me." He's not commanding or begging, but something in the middle. Hoping, maybe. You're eager to give him what he wants. You focus on the feeling of his fingers inside you and his mouth sucking on your raw, throbbing clit. Pope's teeth would sometimes nip at your clit and the resulting gasp or scream that arose from you gave Pope all the energy and stamina he needed. He wasn't going to stop until you were thoroughly ruined in the most blissful, sex drunk way.
Your stomach tightens and your legs start shaking around Pope's head. The orgasm crashes over you and you buck your hips a few more times to literally ride out the last waves of the orgasm. When you finally can't take any more you hold Pope's jaw and bring his face up to meet yours. "Andrew. Fuck. You're so- I- thank you." You pull him in to kiss you. Tasting yourself on his lips and tongue sends a shiver down your spine. You just feel so right together, you even taste good together.
Andrew goes to dip down for another round but you stop him. "No, please. I can't take any more right now." He freezes worried he'd taken the fun too far accidentally. "Why don't we go get ready for bed and I promise I'll wake you up the right way tomorrow." You plant a kiss on his face in between the last three words. He softens a bit and climbs up to sit on the couch next to you. He reached for your hand and looked you in the eyes. He didn't say anything; he didn't need to. You kissed each other one last time before getting off the couch and heading to Pope's bed.
You both got cozy, Pope with his chest pressed to your back and arm wrapped around your waist.
"Can I put something on the TV to help me fall asleep?" You ask. Pope hands you the remote and kisses the back of your neck. You flip through the DVR and find something you had recorded a few weeks ago. A National Geographic documentary about bass migration patterns. You turned down the volume to an acceptable level for sleeping and curled into Pope's embrace.
"What's this?" He whispers in your ear with genuine curiosity.
"Bass migration. I recorded it a few weeks ago when you let me stay here that one night by myself. I put it on when I take naps here sometimes too." You can feel his smile spread across the back of your head through your hair. He chuckles slightly and pulls you closer. He kisses your head and shifts his weight on to the pillow. You drift off to sleep wrapped in the arms of a man who means something to you, and nat geo in the background.
Poolside Pope
[andrew pope cody x reader] [fem reader] [fluff mention of cody family] [smut-MDNI!!] [established but vague relationship] [mentions of alcohol & a blunt] [pool sex] [switchy] [dom & sub reader] [dom & sub pope] [p in v] [raw sex w/ birth control]
word count: 2.7k (my magic number apparently)
summary: the cody family has a pool day and it dawns on you that you've never fucked pope in the pool before. after everyone goes to bed you take turns making each other feel good until you're both screaming. it's light for the first little bit then quickly escalates to full smut.
author's note: i sent out a poll and you little freaks asked for more pope smut (as i secretly hoped you would) so here you go; good old fashioned pool sex. i will die on the hill that in a safe and consensual relationship pope is a switch. try and convince me otherwise. hope you all enjoy :)
much love <3
It's a hot California day and the entire Cody family is gathered around the pool. Baz and Lena and Cat are all in the shallow end playing with floaties and diving rings. Daren and Craig are in the kitchen attempting to brew the world's strongest cocktail. J and Nicky are perched in the deep end, J's arm around Nicky. You and Pope are curled up in a deck chair, your leg thrown over his; his hand tracing lazy circles on your back. The sun is beating down on you all, the pool and cold drinks providing much needed relief.
"Come eat." You hear Smurf's voice before you see her walking out from the kitchen carrying a massive tray of cut up fruit, and big bowls of chips, and sandwiches so big they look like they belong in Scooby Doo. Her voice makes your skin crawl but you ignore it. You know as long as Pope is around you're safe.
Everyone slowly makes their way over to the table by the pool; grabbing a handful of chips or a sandwich. You pluck a cherry off the table and plop it in your mouth. You make eye contact with Pope as you tug the stem off and chew slowly. You see the way his jaw sets and his eyes glaze over slightly and it drives you wild. You love being able to flirt with him in front of everyone knowing the second you're alone he'll make you pay for your teasing. Or maybe you'd just keep teasing him all night. You loved how you never knew where the power was going to lay from night to night.
The day passes and night falls. When Lena and Cat left the casual hangout had turned into one of Daren and Craig's traditional blow out's. Music boomed from a speaker, people showed up in droves until the deck was packed with people. Bottles clinking and cans being crushed could be heard no matter where you went. You were curled up with Pope, just like you had been all day, when Craig walked up to the two of you.
He handed you both a red solo cup with a mysterious purple liquid in it.
"Gotta try it man. It's pretty much straight liquor but it tastes like a fuckin Caprisun. I know your girl over here isn't a huge drinker though, so I brought this just in case." He pulled out the biggest blunt you had ever seen in your life. Your law went slack and your eyes bulged. You reach for it but hesitate to look back at Pope.
"You okay if I hit this? It's not like I'm driving or anything but if you don't want me to I won't." Your hand slid from his chest up to his cheek so you could hold his face. Pope flinched at such a tender display of affection being shown right in front of his brother, but after a second you felt him relax into your touch.
"You go have fun. I'm here if you need me. If it gets too much just go to my room and I'll meet you there."
"Sounds good baby. If you need anything," You look him square in the eyes, "I'll be right over there; don't be afraid to come get me." Pope's eyes softened just a hit at your words- not enough for anyone but you to notice.
"Woah Pope you got your girlfriend playing bodyguard?" Craig teased.
"Some people appreciate genuine human connection jack-off. Pope can handle himself just fine but sometimes it's nice to have someone to share the burden with. Maybe you'd understand if you had an actual girlfriend instead of a string of bodies coming in and out of your room." Your retort is a bit more aggressive than you intended considering he is the man holding the blunt you're salivating over, but Pope came first and you weren't going to sit idlily by while they said dumb shit.
"Damn, alright then." Craig said in a bit of shock at your bluntness. "Well I'm gonna go light this. You comin'?" He turned away before you could answer.
You kissed Pope a little longer than you needed to; as excited you were about the blunt you were sad to leave the warm shelter of Pope's arms. You ran you hand through his short, russet, curls before getting up and going to join Craig an Daren. The second you turned your back to him you could feel Pope's eyes on you.
You could feel him staring as you stood with his brothers and laughed and smoked. You knew he was hyper aware of every time your finger's brushed theirs passing the piece between each other. You knew he was thinking about how they got to put their lips around the same spot you put yours. You could feel his eyes boring a hole in the back of your skull through sheer intensity.
You looked back at him a couple times in the next hour. He kept moving around the deck but his eyes were always on you. When you caught his glance and gave him a warm smile his jaw relaxed a bit and his shoulders lowered by a quarter of an inch.
-----------------------------
The night was coming to an end. You had rejoined Pope on the deck chair, Craig and Daren were in the pool, but other than that the house was empty. Smurf and Baz had gone to bed, everyone else had cleared out about a half an hour ago.
You were curled up in Pope's arms, your head on his chest. You felt so at peace and so safe, but also so excited and alive. There was something about Pope's touch that was more intoxicating than any substance Craig could offer you. You ran your hand up and down Pope's chest and stomach- you just couldn't get enough of him.
An idea suddenly popped into your head. How many years had you been coming over here? How long had you been with Pope? How many crazy places had you two had sex? And you've never done it in the pool? You needed to fix that. It was another half an hour before the boys finally dragged themselves out of the pool, dried off, and called it a night.
You and Pope laid in the silence for a few minutes, your hand on his chest and his arm wrapped around you.
You crane your neck so your lips rest on his ear. You whisper, "Come get in the pool with me." You slowly stand up from the lounge chair, hands dragging over your body, and slowly lift your cover up over your head. You're putting on a show for a very attentive audience. Pope looks up at you like a puppy dog begging for a treat. You reach for his hand and lift him to stand next to you. You lead him into the pool; you can feel his eyes running up and down your body as you walk hand in hand, him trailing behind for a better view of you.
He follows you into the pool until the water is up to right below your chest. You pull him in, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. The water supports you just as much as Pope's thick arms that wrap around you to hold you by your ass, fingers digging into your cheeks slightly. You kiss his cheek, then his lips; his neck and his ear. You leave little bites after every few kisses. You feel his breath hitch with each pinch. "I want you Andrew," you whisper in his ear. "I want you here, and now."
"Fuck, here?" Panic flashes in his eyes.
"Hey, we don't have to. I just thought it might be fun with everyone asleep. There's no pressure my love." You hold his face in your hands and press a soft kiss to his forehead.
He nestles his head into the crook of your neck and takes a few breaths. Your hand runs through his curls on autopilot; it's so grounding for both if you that it's simply a habit at this point. Pope presses a tentative kiss to the side of your neck. Then another, and a third more confident kiss. "I think here is as good a place as any," he speaks into your skin and the vibrations make you shiver. Pope continues to kiss your neck, the underside of your jaw, and up to your ear. You bring your lips to every part of his skin you can find. His face, his neck, his ears. You start leaving little bites again and he responds by biting you back. Gently at first, then harder and harder as your hands grab at each other like you can't possibly get enough and your hearts race in sync.
You feel Pope's thick fingers fumbling with the tie of your bathing suit. One handed and distracted it takes him a minute. "Off. I want this off." He practically barks before he finally finds the right string and frees you from your top. Without hesitation he's diving down to your chest kissing, and sucking, and biting. You throw your head back as you revel in the marks you can feel him leaving. He's practically growling as he devours every inch of skin he can reach. He goes to take off your bottoms but you catch his wrist.
"Not yet." You whisper as you unhook your legs from around his torso. You place one finger to his chest and push him backwards until his back is to the wall of the pool. You press you hand flat to his chest and bring your body dangerously close to his. The hand on his chest reaches around to the back of his neck to tangle at the base of his curls. Your other hand dipped underwater to feel for the erection you knew your boyfriend was sporting. You rubbed it through his swim trunks and received a gorgeous, strangled, moan in response.
You loved making him melt in your palm like this. You knew he could easily overpower you if he wanted to, so when he didn't he was actively placing his trust in your hands. He trusted you to keep him safe and make him feel good and that's exactly what you planned to do.
You slipped your hand under his shorts and wrapped your hand firmly around his bulge. You continued to kiss and bite his chest, leaving whatever marks you wanted as you stroked him up and down. Pope is breathing fast now and he's trying and failing to stifle his moans. "Let it all out for me baby," you encourage and his moans intensify in reply.
"You want me to fuck you Andrew?" You tug on his hair so he's looking you in the eyes.
"Fuck yes- god."
"Yes what?" You press.
"Fuck-" He bucks his hips against your hand. "Ple- please. Please fuck me princess."
"Good boy." You kiss him and bite his lower lip lightly as you pull away. You have to practically pry your hands off him, but you slipped off your bathing suit bottoms and threw them to the side of the pool. You then reach towards Pope and start tugging at his shorts too. You get them just low enough so his erection is fully visible and before you can stop yourself you're sliding yourself down on to him. His hands fly to your waist and his fingers dig into you. A groan of pure bliss escapes his clenched jaw as you lift yourself up and down him once more.
"Play with my clit while I fuck you." You order. He obliges eagerly. He's still looking at you like a puppy dog with those lovesick eyes that droop ever so perfectly at the corners. You bury your face into his neck with the increased pleasure. You bite down once more, right on the spot you know is sensitive for him.
You immediately feel something shift in Pope. Before you could fully process what was happening he spun you around so now your back was up against the pool wall. It was rough and you liked that it hurt a little. Pope's left hand was holding you up by your ass and his right was planted firmly around your throat.
"I think it's time for me to fuck you now." He presses himself even deeper into you. "I've been staring at you all fucking day in that tiny little bathing suit and that see through cover up. As great as they look on you, I like you better like this; bare and ready for me."
You yelp as he starts pressing you into the wall as the buries himself inside you. He pumps himself in and out of you, squeezing your throat in one hand and your ass in the other. Suddenly he pulls you away from the wall and brings his other hand to support you from below. He's bouncing you on him like you're as light as a feather; like he could do this all day.
Your hands are roaming wild all over his chest and back, his and face and neck, grabbing and clawing at and caressing every part of him you could. You bury your face in his chest so you can let out a moan that boarders a scream. You don't want to wake anyone up but god does this feel so fucking good. His right arm reaches around to pump you up and down on its own while his left hand found your clit.
"I want you to cum for me baby. Feel me all the way inside you- feel the pressure- and fucking cum for me princess."
"Fuck Andrew. You feel- so- good." You pant out. "I'm gonna- Fuck. I'm gonna cum Andrew." With that your body jolts and tenses around him. He holds you tight as you grind against him, riding out the waves of a fantastic orgasm. "Now you?" You ask placing a kiss right below his ear.
"I don't have a condom on me. I'm okay. I know that's important to you."
"I actually went on birth control a little while ago so I'm okay without if you are."
A grin broke out across Pope's face. Before you knew it he was thrusting into you again, your legs wrapped around him and his hands putting you exactly where he wants you. It's not long before his breathing is sporadic and his movements are more stiff and taxing. He's moaning and growling and cursing as he speeds up.
"Cum for me baby." You beg directly in his ear. "Fucking fill me up. Raw. I know you need to give me all of you and I need it right back." That's enough to send him over the edge. He's never gotten to cum in you without a condom before.
"Play with your clit. I want to feel you squeezing down on me as I cum." You obey quickly. You're rubbing hard fast circles around your clit that's already extremely sensitive. In minutes you're clenching down on him as your own orgasm builds.
"Fuck. Cum baby I can't last long." He's both commanding and begging at the same time. You press into yourself just a little harder in just the right spot and another orgasm rushes through you. Seconds later Pope is thrusting into you harder and faster than ever before as he moans so loudly you're worried someone might wake up and come looking for the source of noise. He finally empties himself inside you with a grunt and a feverish kiss. You hold each other for a minute as you both reel from your respective orgasms. You both plant soft kisses wherever you can reach, finally meeting at your lips and you both held the other tighter as you kissed. Gentle, but passionate caresses that brough you both back down from the cloud you were just on.
The night had gone pitch black and the warmth the sun provided was nowhere to be seen.
"It's kinda fucking cold," you laugh into his lips, "maybe we should go dry off?"
"Yeah I think some dry clothes and blankets could do us some good." He kisses you one more time before you both hop out of the pool and rush for towels to cover yourself. You grab your purse and Pope grabs your bathing suit before you head in to bed.
You sleep well that night knowing you checked something off your sex bucket list, and did it with someone you really love.
was it the smut or the pope cody that you liked?
UPDATE: here it is freaks; the pope smut you want and deserve. "Poolside Pope" is up now. (click the link there or here (in case you want options))
what should i write next?
pope cody non smut
pope cody smut
jack abbot non smut
jack abbot smut
Andrew
[andrew pope cody x reader] [fem reader] [smut] [rough sex] [lots of consent] [traumatized reader] [choking] [hair pulling] [reader has a v] [oral] [p in v] [ overstimulation kinda?] [crying during sex] [safe words in a good way] [l-bomb] [first I-love-you]
word count: 2.7k
author's note: hey chat. first time writing both smut and pope so i hope you little freaks like it. idk how to keep things under 2k and i had to include a little smth mushy so it differed from my original ideal but i like it. the whole point is that the reader and jack are both sexually traumatized and they cope by having rough, consensual, sex. i didn't want to pull from stereotypes about this kind of trauma so i pulled from my own lived experience. i hope this helps someone feel seen and validated, or at the least it's enjoyable. much love <3
The door clicked shut behind you with a deafening thud. You felt the walls of Pope's apartment close in around you slightly with the weight of what was about to happen. Before you can think his hand are on you. Rough and demanding. Just how you like. He's grabbing at you like he can't get a handful big enough.
Your lips are crashing against each other, tongues diving in and out of each other's mouths like they have minds of their own. Your heart is racing and your breaths quicken by the minute. With an adjustment of his body Pope has your back pressed against the wall, one hand pulling you into him by the waist, the other gently but firmly in your hair putting you exactly where he wants you. You melt a little under his grip.
He dips his head to your ear and tilts your head by tugging at your hair for easier access. He plants a kiss on your neck, right below your ear. Then your earlobe. He kisses higher until you feel his nose pressed to the side of your head. He softly bites your ear before tenderly kissing the spot that made you gasp.
He whispers in your ear, "I've been waiting for you-this- all week." He pulls your face back to look him in the eye.
"Do you want this?" His eyes pierce through you like he's looking directly into your thoughts. You blink hard before answering.
"God, yes." You lean in to kiss him but his grip on your hair is tight and pulls you right back into place.
"I love it when you're so excited for me, but don't forget your place princess." The hand around your waist slides up your body to wrap loosely around your throat. The pressure that was once so terrifying to you now feels steadying and calming. You know you're safe here, in these hands, no matter how rough it gets.
Pope's hand tightens around your throat as he speaks, practically barking, "We're going to the bed. You're taking off everything but the heels. I'm going to make you cum until you're shaking and quivering in my arms. Then I'm going to fuck you –hard- like I've been wanting to for the past week." He pauses, his eyes searching yours for any sign of fear of discomfort. When he found nothing but pure excitement and anticipation he continued.
"Am I right in thinking you want me just as much as you want me?"
You try to nod but can only move your head so much with his hand around your throat. His hand in your hair lowers to hold your cheek.
"I need you to use your words. Tell me how badly you want this."
The grip on your throat loosens and you respond, "I want you so bad. So, so bad. Please."
His hand tightened and he pulled himself closer so his face was right in yours.
"Good girl. Now, are you ready to take everything I'm about to give you?"
You speak the second his grasp loosens again, "I'm your slut. I'll do anything you want; I can take it."
His hold on your throat tightens one last time.
"Yes you are baby." His tone is animalistic. Feral.
"I'm going to let you go and we're going to go to my room. If at any point you want to stop you know our safe words right?" His hands fall to your hips, fingers gripping into your ass.
"Stoplight colors. Green to keep going, yellow to slow down, and red to stop."
"Good girl." He lets out in a low grumble before pulling you in to kiss you one more time, hard and deep, before letting you go and stepping out of your path towards his bedroom. You feel his eyes on you as you walk, adding a bit more of a sway to your hips than was necessary.
As you step in the room you turn around to look for Pope. He's standing in the doorway staring at you.
"Strip." He says in a monotone.
You obey promptly, reaching for the halter tie of your dress and letting it slowly fall down your front and over your hips, leaving you exposed as it drops to your feet. He steps forwards and closes the door behind him. He keeps staring you down as he approaches.
His hands first meet your waist on one side and your hip on the other. Then he's pulling you close to him, pressing his erection into the thin fabric of your panties through his pants. A small moan escapes your mouth as his lips and his package press into you.
"You like that baby?" Pope moans into your neck as he kisses down to your chest. He pulls your nipple into his mouth and you gasp. He bites down softly and you let out a loud, surprised, moan.
"Use your words. Tell me you like it." He's direct and commanding with his words. "Unless you want me to stop-"
"No! Please. I need you please don't stop." The idea of him leaving you this pent up without a release was torturous enough to imagine much less experience.
"That's my girl." His grip around your hips tightens as he pushes you down onto the bed, climbing on top of you. You reach for the buttons of his shirt and he lets you undo them as fast as you want. Your fingers fumble with the fabric while Pope positions one of his legs in between yours to spread them open.
You pull off his shirt and reach for his belt but a hand stops you.
"Not yet. Not until you've cum at least twice." His hand brings yours up to his chest and you let out a small whine. "No pouting. You know what pouting gets you." His jaw is set and his eyes are locked on yours. He keeps eye contact while he kisses down your body.
You shiver as he plants his lips first on your chest, then down your stomach, across both hips, stopping right at the top of your underwear.
"You wanna take these off for me so I can finally get a fucking taste of you?"
You nod and move to take off your panties but before you can his hand is around your wrist again, making you freeze.
"Use your words. Tell me what you want me to do to you."
You know he won't do anything until he hears you say you want it; exactly what you want. You know he likes to hear how desperate you are, but it's also his way of checking in. You know if you don’t actively want it he won't do it.
You make eye contact with him before speaking, "I want to take off these panties, that I wore just for you, so you can lay me down and eat me out until you've had your full."
"And who exactly do you want to do all these naughty thing to you?" He holds you tighter as he speaks.
"You-" He cuts you off.
"Say my fucking name."
"Andrew." His eyes widen for a second. Maybe he was expecting you to say Pope? But that was for family gatherings in front of Smurf and the boys. Not in this house. In this bed. Here he was Andrew. He was allowed to just be Andrew.
"God, please fuck me Andrew." This gets the reaction out of him you want. He meets your hands and helps you tear your underwear off.
He immediately spreads your legs and brings his palm up to your chest, pushing you back on the bad. You can feel his breath between your legs, hot and wet. The way he was staring at you again made your heart race and your clit throb. He had a tendency to do that- to stare- you mostly found it protective but right now it was excruciating. You needed him so badly. You needed to let go and let him take you. Every part of you craved it.
When his tongue dives into you and circles your clit once hard, and fast, you moan in reaction. Another circle. Another moan. His tongue is warm and soft and wet. It's a million times better than the fingers and toys you used all week, pretending it was him.
He latches his lips around your clit and sucks softly at first, then harder as your legs tighten around his head. Your back arches off the mattress, his tongue continues to pull moan after moan out of you.
"Fuck- Andrew, fuck. I'm gonna- fuuuuck"
"That’s it baby. Fucking cum for me." He didn't talk to you, he talked into you. His lips on your folds, the vibrations sending goosebumps up your arms.
He doesn't stop as the orgasm rips through you. You let out a moan that boarders a scream as you lift your torso off the mattress. You try and push him off your clit, sensitive and throbbing. He doesn't move. Instead he speaks into your pussy again.
"You're gonna have to use a safe word or tell me to stop. Otherwise I'm not done with you." He reaches a hand up to your throat and raises the rest of his body to lay you back down on the bed. His other hand finds your clit and rubs lazy circles around it.
"You're going to be a fucking mess before I fuck you. I want you to feel every inch of me once I finally get to be inside of you again." His finger dips inside of you and you let out a moan as you push back on his hand. He grips your throat tighter while he slips in a second finger.
"You're so fucking wet for me. You like this baby? Tell me how much you fucking like my fingers inside you while my big hand's wrapped around your pretty little neck."
You wait for his grip to loosen but it doesn't. You struggle to speak, "I love it. I love your fingers in me." You pause before your next words. They'll either kill the mood or send him into overdrive. "I love you Andrew."
He freezes for a second. His eyes glaze over. You think you went too far before his fingers are back inside you, harder than before.
"Fuck." Is all he lets out before his mouth is on you again.
You're squirming and writhing on the bed. His hands are pinning your hips in place but your back is still arching and your arms are still grabbing for the sheets like they can do anything to stop another orgasm from crashing over you.
His fingers are pumping in and out of you, hitting that spot that no one but him had found. His tongue is pressing into your clit over and over, the perfect mix of wetness and friction. You can't hold back anymore. Your hand flies to his hair as you tremble under the weight of a second orgasm in such a short time.
"Good fucking girl." He pulls his fingers out, leaving you feeling slightly empty.
You're shaking and breathing hard. He reaches up to lay down next to you. His hand finds your cheek and he brushed a stray hair out of your face. He kisses the top of your head sweetly.
"You okay?"
You nod.
"Words."
"Yes. I'm okay."
"Good girl. Do you need a minute or can I fuck you while you're still raw and sensitive like this?"
"I'm good. I want you. I need you. Inside me. Please."
"On your knees." His hand finds your lower back as you roll over and arch. He uses his other hand to spread your legs. You feel his eyes on you. Staring. Intense. You hear the clink of his belt buckle and the shuffle of fabric as he takes his pants off. You feel his tip press into you and you gasp.
"Andrew?" You almost squeak.
"Yeah baby?" He runs his tip up and down your slit, making you arch further into him.
"Please fuck me." You whimper.
"Oh, now you can do better than that baby. Beg like you really want it." You can feel the smirk on his face from behind you.
"Please Andrew, please fuck me. I need you inside me, I need to take all of you please." You're begging frantically, squirming trying to get him to fill you up.
With a grunt and a sigh from Andrew he slips just the first inch inside you for a second before pulling out.
"Fuuuck." You moan in unison.
With a single thrust he's all the way inside you. You scream and bury your face in the mattress. This position used to bring up all kinds of flashbacks but with Andrew you feel like you're in control. No matter how rough he gets you know he'd stop the second something felt off.
As the thrusts back and forth inside you, both of you moaning louder than you ever remember moaning, you feel his had smack into your ass. You let out a yelp and burrow further into the sheets.
"You want more?" He barks.
"Yes, fuck, I want more. Please." With your plea you feel another blow to your ass. The sting and the impact send a jolt through your body. On the third impact your eyes well.
"Fuck, more, harder." You're begging through tears. It's not for another few second until Andrew realizes you're crying.
"Woah, woah. Red. Hold on." He pulls out and sits on the bed next to you. He pulls you into his lap, your shoulder to his chest.
"You're crying."
"I know, I'm sorry I-"
"No, no don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. You're safe. We're both safe." You lean your head to rest on his shoulder. "Did I do something wrong? Was it too much?"
"No, you're okay. I was asking for more." You place your hand on his chest to reassure him.
"But you're crying." He seemed confused, like things weren't adding up.
"That happens sometimes. It just felt so good and so intense I couldn't process it all so some tears came out. I promise I'm alright."
He looked at you for a moment. Not staring like usual, but gazing more gently.
"We can keep going if you feel comfortable, you'll know when I've reached my limit." You offer. He smiles slightly then nods.
You go to get back on your knees but his hand guides you to your back.
"I want to see you." Is all he can muster before he's back inside you.
You moan and pull yourself down onto him. You clamp around him. His hand finds your cheek and he holds your face gently. You grab his wrist and moan out his name.
"Harder Andrew. Please I need you to fucking cum too please."
He speeds up as you clamp down harder. You can tell he's close by the way his rhythm falters and the way he's gasping for breath.
"Fuck." He grunts before pulling out and stroking himself a few times until your stomach is covered in his hot, thick cum. He collapses on the bed next to you for a moment, pulling your head onto his chest.
"Holy shit." You exhale, breaking the brief silence.
"Let me go get a towel so I can clean you up." He lifts your head and gingerly places a pillow back where his chest once was before walking to the bathroom. He comes back and as he's wiping you up he makes eye contact. You can tell there's something on his mind so you give him the space to talk when he's ready.
"Did you mean what you said earlier? About..." He trailed off instead of finishing the sentence.
"That I love you? Yeah I did. You don't have to say it back or anything, I just wanted you to know. I had been looking for the right time and it kinda slipped out."
Andrew's hand reached up to the side of your face and the rest of his body followed to lay right next to you. He pulled you softly into his arms and placed a kiss on your hairline.
"I, me too. I love you too." He took a deep breath. "Will you tell me again?"
"I love you Andrew Cody." You could feel his body relax into you.
And with that you drifted off into each other's arms, safe and in love.
would you read this?
i wanna write pope cody smut where they're both traumatized and they cope by having rough sex. pope calls yellow because he thinks he took it too far. lots of consent checks, lots of reassurance and loving words while they fuck the shit out of each other. lmk what you little freaks think. much love <3
UPDATE: it's written here's the link- Andrew wc 2.7k
pope cody smut??
yes absolutely write this
too dark/i wouldn't read
stick to abbot fic
Outfit
[jack abbot x reader] [ text exchange] [flirty jack] [established relationship] [age gap?] [if you want there to be]
author's note: getting back in the game. if anyone knows a way to get better looking text exchanges without hours of photoshop or ai hmu. for now this is the best i got.
been joking abt a brunson x wembanyama fic w my bf. we’re calling them brunsonyama or wembrunyama
had no one else to tell this to had to share
i promise i’ll resume my usual content post championship. im too in it to think abt anything else. ly freaks <3
[jack abbot] [the pitt] [head cannon] [ayesha]
i j know jack abbot loves ayesha erotica the second he hears the first song. he’d never tell anyone but he listens to her in the shower

should i take the time to write this into a ridiculous little fic?
yes
dear god no
secretly slip it into a much longer story
KNICKS IN 5!!!
[jack abbot x reader] [age gap] [ text exchange] [ny knicks mention] [KNICKS IN 5 BABY!!!]
author's note: i'm not going nuts you are. the idea of jack knowing abt the knicks hit me and i couldn't shake it. i hope this niche has an audience.
Rubber Glove Dolls
[jack abbot x fem reader] [age gap] [resident reader] [reader in their late 20's] [overwhelmed reader] [jack meet's reader's little brother] [mentions of neglect] [15 minute mini dates] [slow burn?] [domestic jack] [implied smut] [ first kiss]
word count: 5.6k
author's note: hey chat. this is the response to the poll i put out. this and tactical jack are real close in votes so i'll see what i can do abt that. i've been yearning for a fatherly jack without a mom reader so this is me dipping my toe into that.
sorry this is a litte late i got distracted by the knicks game. KNICKS IN 5 BABY!!!
Residency was kicking your ass. If it was just you, you could probably handle the night shifts, and the extra hours, and the eighteen hour days. But it wasn't just you. It hadn't been for two and a half years now. You had Liam to think about. And take care of. And get to school on time. And help with his homework as simple as it may be. To dress, and feed, and bathe.
It wasn't all on you. Your aunt and uncle helped out overnight while you were at the hospital. But the second you were out it was straight to their house, a quick breakfast (for him not you), then straight to first grade. He was six now. Small for his age, but smart. His head was a little too big for his neck and his eyes bulged a bit under his itty bitty glasses. He was adorable, and you loved him with every ounce of your being. And at the same time you longed for just one twenty-four hour period where you could have a glass of wine, take a bath, and fall asleep with no alarm set.
You hadn't had a day like that in two and a half years. Not since you took Liam in. Your parents were never around much for you growing up, your aunt and uncle were more like parents than they ever were. Thus it was a huge shock to find out that six months after you turned twenty they had another child.
A beautiful baby boy. Liam.
They did their best to raise him for the first three and a half years of his life, but when you went to visit them at the house for the first time you realized he couldn't stay there. Quickly after that Liam moved in with your aunt and uncle and you helped out as much as you could. As the years went on and you all got older, you took on more and more responsibility. You were juggling your first year of residency, and a six year old. Not an easy feat.
When you first met Jack you had no intention of having any kind of relationship. You simply had no time. Every moment you weren't at work, or sleeping, you were with Liam. But then came the coffees left at your work station. The charting magically completed for you on the cases you worked together. The little glances, the almost smiles. The way he looked at you when he thought you couldn't see him.
It took you a while to recognize it. You were so focused on work and managing your life outside that the flirting went right over your head for weeks. It wasn't until one morning around 5am another coffee had mysteriously ended up next to where you had been sitting moments ago. You go to pick it up and realize there's a phone number written on the lid with the words "I think at this point you owe me a cup," written underneath.
It hits you in the face all at once. Every single little nice thing he's done for you over the past few weeks. Every time he sent you home first out of everyone. Every time he said he "didn't want" the other half of his sandwich and gave it to you. The way he started only eating sandwiches you liked in case you wanted some. And, of course, the coffee.
You didn't know what to do with this. On one hand, what time did you have to be going out for coffee? You made your same ultra strength instant coffee every morning because that was what fit the time and budget. A seven dollar latte, sipped slowly at some hip little coffee shop, while enticing, was not on the table. But at the same time you felt like you did owe him. You reached into your phone and shot him a text.
"I can give you 10 minutes and cafeteria coffee."
"Make it 15 and we have a deal." He shot back almost instantly.
And that was how it began. Quick breaks after a shift, before you had to go get Liam breakfast. You started by talking about work, and complaining about sleep schedules. It wasn't until the fourth morning of post-shift cafeteria coffee that Jack started to get curious as to why this was the only time and place you could meet. He had brought up other, more proper, dates in the past, but you had turned him down immediately. Politely, but absolutely.
You took a moment to consider whether or not unpacking your whole life story was the right thing to do in this moment or not. You decided there was a middle path that could be found. You told him about how you took in your brother when you were twenty three. How it wasn't that you didn't want to go on a proper date, but that you went from here, to breakfast, to school, to sleep. You woke up just in time to get Liam from school, you did homework, and dinner and a bath, then dropped him off at your aunt and uncle's house so you could head to work. It was a demanding schedule with little to no time for extracurricular activities, other than these fifteen minutes you carved out of your day before you left the hospital and the realities of the world set in.
Jack just looked at you for a moment after you finished talking. Suddenly he looked older. The reminder that he was your attending smacked you in the face. It was easy to forget in these fifteen minutes that Jack was anything other than someone pleasant to talk to, a shoulder to lean on. Who just so happened to have eyes the same shade as the coffee he brought you and curls so shiny and grey they looked silver.
"That sounds like a lot." He paused searching for his next words. "Thank you for making time for me."
Your cheeks flushed and your breath caught ever so slightly, but just enough for Jack to notice.
"Thanks for buying me coffee." Your eyes won't meet his. "I should get going." You go to stand up and see his face fall slightly. "But tomorrow morning? Same time same place?" You ask hopefully.
He lifts his chin to look at you standing above him. "You know where to find me." His lips jerk up in their efforts to form a smile but he seems so out of practice that they just twitch a little then fall back down into his usual rigid stance.
You left to go get Liam breakfast and hopefully sneak a bite of whatever you made him. It was seven thirty now and he needed to be at school by eight fifteen. These fifteen minutes came at a cost. But you felt it was worth it. You hurried to your car and broke multiple speed limits on the way home. You were trying not to think about the way jacks lips twitched, trying to form a smile at the idea of seeing you again.
Breakfast and drop off flew by. And so did the rest of the day. And the week. Suddenly it was a month later and you had been on seventeen, fifteen minute mini dates with Jack. It's over the eighteenth where he looks at you, takes a breath, and exhales deeply.
"I've been thinking. About you." He's still making eye contact. You stop breathing. "And how I'd like to see you more. I know you have a lot on your plate and I don't expect you to sacrifice your responsibilities for me. I know Liam is an incredibly important part of your life, and I don’t think it's reasonable to ask for you without him." His hand reaches for yours across the table. You squeeze his fingers for a second. "So I was wondering if Liam would accept a breakfast guest? I could make us all breakfast and help with drop off. Spend some time with the both of you outside the hospital." You look at him shocked. You never thought he'd want to meet Liam.
I mean the few friends you had knew him because chances were, if you were hanging out he was there. But you'd never had someone who saw you romantically have an interest in your family life. It was sweet. It was gentle. He wasn't trying to cram you into his life, he was fitting himself neatly into yours.
"I'll have to ask him when I get home." You reply. "I don't want to wreck his morning by introducing a stranger before he has his apple juice. I mean to him it's like a double espresso, seriously."
Jack lets out a small chuckle, his lips fighting to form that smile again. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a rubber glove, and a sharpie. He puts the opening of the glove to his mouth and blows it up. He ties it off, and twists it into a little doll. He draws on a face with a big goofy grin and big bug eyes. He hands it to you and when you take it your fingers brush slightly. It was nothing. Okay maybe it was something.
"When you ask if he wants a visitor, give him this and say it's from me."
"When did you learn to make this?" You ask, a hint of shock in your voice. You never pictured gruff, SWAT affiliated, battle hardened Jack Abbot to know how to make little dolls out of rubber gloves.
"A nurse who used to work in peds showed me a few years back. I like to make them for the kids who come through here. Brings a little joy to a scary place."
You smile and hold the doll a little closer to you. "I'll make sure he knows it's from you."
"And don't let him worry if it pops. There are plenty more where that came from. Just don’t tell the nurses I'm taking uneven amounts of gloves." Your smile widens and you laugh a little.
"Will do. I should probably get going, breakfast waits for no man."
"Most important meal of the day." Jack replies.
As you go to get up Jack catches your hand in his. He gently lifts your fingers to his lips and places a gentle kiss across your knuckles. A rosy pink floods your cheeks. Lips still pressed to your knuckles he looks up at you. It's soft and promising. Hopeful even. He lets go of your hand, fingers trailing against yours.
"I'll let you know what he says." You reply sheepishly a small smile creeping across your face.
"Don't forget about the Edgar."
"Edgar?" You ask puzzled.
"The doll."
"Right. I won't" And with that you're gone. Off to scrambled eggs and bacon cut into bit sized pieces. Apple juice for Liam and as much coffee as you could gulp down before you hopped in the car off to school.
----------------------------------------
The next morning you met Jack for coffee again. You sit down at the table, cup waiting for you to take a sip.
"He said yes." You tell Jack, looking for his reaction. He looks confused for a moment then recognition dawns his face and his lips do that trying-to-smile-jerk thing again. "On one condition; he wants a real toy this time."
Jack chuckled. "A man who knows what he wants. I respect that. I can make that happen. Does Friday work?"
"Sounds good. He seems excited." You pause for a moment. "I am too." Jacks eyes widen slightly at your words. You think if he was capable of blushing he would be. "I can't make coffee tomorrow; parent teacher conference before school. But I'll see you Friday?"
"Definitely." His face fell slightly at not being able to see you. It made you feel more than you wanted to admit. Mostly because you felt the same way. Not distraught, just bummed that you had to miss a mini date with Jack. You were praying Friday went well. If Jack and Liam didn't get along you really didn't see a way you could pursue anything with Jack. Liam was your world and he had to come first. Always. No matter how much your heart raced as you felt his lips press into your knuckles or the way your knees went weak when he looked up at you like, for just a moment, his world revolved around you.
What you didn't know was that Jack didn't go home first thing that morning. He went straight to the toy store. He tried to think about things Liam would like but then realized he knew nothing about him other than that he was six and wore glasses. He tried to remember himself as a six year old little boy and what he would have wanted to play with. Probably a gameboy or a rubix cube. Het then realized those may be a bit out dated. He walked back and forth along the isles several times until he finally settled on a set of little army men. They had adjustable arms and legs, and came with a few accessory weapons and helmets.
In the back of his head he had a vision of he and Liam being close as Liam grew up. Jack sharing stories from his life- age appropriate of course- and Liam hanging on every word. The image of an older Liam looking back on the toys Jack bought him the first time they met. He had to physically shake his head to dissipate the thoughts. He was thinking too far ahead. He wasn't being practical. You made it hard for him to be practical. He purchased the toy, and when he got it home he wrapped it with a clinical precision. He knew Liam would probably tear it off in a frenzied rush but he didn't care. He wanted to do this the right way.
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It was finally Friday and you met Jack, once again, in the cafeteria. He's already seated with two cups of coffee on the table.
"You ready?" You ask without standing. Jack reaches for the coffee and stands up without a second thought. He's ready. He slings his SWAT issue backpack over his shoulder and walks with you towards the parking garage.
"Do you want to take one or two cars? I can't guarantee you'll be able to park that tank you call a car on the street." You say, teasing a bit.
"I'm happy to come with you. I can always get my 'tank' later." If you didn’t know better you'd think he was excited right now. But Jack Abbot didn't get excited. He was calm and measured. Steady. But his pace quickened and there seem to be more of a jaunt to his stride. You both made it to your car, a beat up sedan that got you from point a to point b- nothing more nothing less. You unlocked the car and he opened the driver's side door for you. You climbed in the car and got situated.
The drive to your aunt and uncle's house was quiet. The air between you was electric. You could tell he was excited and maybe even a little anxious. You got the sense he knew how important this was. How likely this was to determine the future of your relationship. You pulled into a parking spot with the precision of someone who did this every day, which you did.
"You ready?" You ask turning to look at Jack before you opened the door.
"You already asked me that." Jack reminds you.
"I know but you don't have to do this. Liam is the sweetest kid ever, but he can be either really shy and reserved, or really excited and clingy. I'm used to it but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this."
He pauses for a minute, genuinely considering. "Well he's a huge part of your life right?"
"Of course."
"And you kinda come as a package deal right?"
"I like to think I am my own person, but you're right to think that Liam's approval is important to me." You mull over your next words carefully. You decide to bite the bullet. "I like you. I like spending time with you, I like getting to know you outside of charting and cham panels, and I'd like to keep seeing you."
"You sound like there's a but coming." He cuts right to the chase.
"There is. Liam comes first. Always. My top priority is creating a stable home for him so I can't promise I won't have to cancel last minute because of a snow day at school, or leave early because he got sick. I understand if that doesn't work for you, but it's what I can offer."
Jack examines you for a beat, just taking you in. Your eyes are slightly widened and your breath is shallow. You're praying he won't leave but knowing that if he does it's for the best. He looks like he's fully absorbing your words; processing them and filing them away in his mind.
"I know you have a life. A full, beautiful life, and that it's no small thing that you're letting me get a glimpse into that life. I know Liam will always come first, and that's how it should be. I'm grateful to have you however I can get you." He makes eye contact before speaking again. "And if this goes well, maybe Liam and I can be pals. I'd be happy to try and take some things off your plate." He sees your reaction. You stiffen for a minute, not used to a genuine offer of assistance no-strings-attached. "Not that you need it. I know you have things under control. I'm getting ahead of myself anyways. Let's just go inside and get us all some breakfast."
He goes to open the door but you grab his wrist, freezing him in place.
"About that. It's the end of the week so we really only have enough groceries here to feed Liam. I usually scrounge something up when I get home or find a protein bar or something." You're clearly embarrassed. You know Jack has a lot more money than you do, and he should. He's earned it. But you don't think he can relate to rationing groceries or skipping meals, not for health or weight reasons, but because you only had enough food left for Liam and he always ate first.
Jack's features softened ever so slightly. "How about while we're making Liam's breakfast I order us some breakfast. I'm craving a breakfast burrito and-" You try to interrupt him but he talks over you. '"before you try and say not I'm not going to just order myself breakfast. We both need to eat so I'm going to feed us. No big deal."
It wasn't a big deal.
It was a huge deal.
He was just being nice.
No one had been this nice to you in ages and you didn't realize how much you craved it.
You took a breath and went to open the door. You had to get out of this car; you feared the windows would burst if they tried to hold in any more emotions.
"Let's go on in, shall we?" You ask, stepping out of the car.
"Let’s shall." He replies, climbing out himself like he's used to maneuvering in and out of your car with ease. You both climb the steps and make it to the doorway. His hand reaches for the small of your back during the brief pause where you look for your keys, but he stops himself before he can make contact.
You notice both the instinct and the restraint.
Both make you want to melt into his arms right here in front of the closed door.
You steel yourself and unlock the door.
"Captain Peapod!? You up bud?" You call into the living room. Liam usually watched a few cartoons while your aunt and uncle got ready for work.
"Captain Peapod?" Jack asks
"A long story involving vegetables at war with each other, and the ultimate demise of a colony of wild broccoli." You reply, smiling as you drop your stuff and lock the door behind you.
"Your visitor is here!" You call into the room. Suddenly little footsteps join the sound of whatever Nick Jr. was showing.
"General Squash!!!" Liam calls in greeting as he runs towards you, tackling your legs in a bear hug almost knocking you off your feet.
"Oof! Have you been lifting weights again!? I told you, you're already too strong bud!" With one fluid motion you bend down and scoop Liam into your arms. A little part of you is grateful that he's still small enough for you to hold like this.
You tickle his sides and he lets out a cackle that makes the whole room brighter. You're both laughing now. You see Jack and freeze.
He's smiling.
Not trying to smile. Not jerking the corners of his lips.
Fully smiling.
You think you can even see a tooth.
Your heart swells. You angle your body so Liam can see Jack better.
"This is our visitor! He's my friend from the hospital. His name is Dr. Abbot." Liam stares blankly at him for a moment. "Can you tell him your name?"
He considers the question before answering. "Liam." He replies in a small, hesitant voice. "I'm six." He holds out six fingers.
Jack smiles even wider. You've never seen this side of him. I mean he's always nice to kids who come in the ER but he never has the time to really connect with them.
Jack reached behind him and retrieved his backpack."
"You can call me Jack if you'd like. And I believe I owe you something." He opened his backpack and pulled out the gift he had meticulously wrapped the morning before. The corners were crisp and Liam's name was written in Jack's bold handwriting across the front.
"Oh Jack-" before you can say anything Liam lets out a squeal of joy.
"Thank you Dr. Jack!!" He squirms out of your arms and runs to the couch to open his present. You both follow the sounds of ripping paper and excited squeaks. By the time Liam's back in your sightline he's staring the clear packaging in the face.
"ARMY MEN!?" He looks up at the two of you, eyes wide as saucers.
"I hope they're okay. I was at the toy store much longer than a childless man my age should be." Jack looks at you and you both smile.
Before you can process what's happening Liam launches himself off the couch, barrels towards Jack, and flings himself around Jack's legs.
"THEY'RE AWESOME!!" Liam is borderline hyperventilating. You haven't seen him this happy since his birthday where you had saved up and gotten a basketball and hoop for the back yard. He was one of the most grateful little kids you had ever met.
Without thinking you reach out to squeeze Jack's hand for a second before crouching down to Liam's height.
"Why don't you and Jack play with these while I whip up some breakfast? How does eggs and bacon sound?"
"Do we have any cheese?" Liam turns to look at you but refuses to let go of Jack.
"I think so. You want cheesy eggs?"
"Yes!" Liam seems very excited at this prospect.
"Your wish is my command dude." You stand up and whisper to Jack: "You okay with him while I make breakfast?"
"Yeah I'll be great." Jack's reply is so genuine- he seems so excited to spend time with Liam- that your last remaining worries wash away. "Should I order our breakfast now or after drop off?"
"Jack you don't hav-" He cuts you off.
"That's not an option. It's not or later. You pick."
The fight instantly goes out of you. It's replaced with this warm gooey feeling. What is this? It's some combination of gratitude and relief and utter smittenness. You exhale before you reply.
"After probably works better." Before you can stop yourself more words come tumbling out of your mouth. "If you want we can go back to my place and eat there. I try not to hang here when my aunt and uncle aren't around."
"I'd like that." Jack replied with a smile. Liam was still wrapped around his legs, but the toy sitting on the floor by the couch were clearly calling his attention.
"It's a date." You turn and head towards the kitchen.
As you gather ingredients you hear Jack and Liam playing together. The laughs, the clanking of plastic as the army men battled each other; the grunts of Jack pretending to take a heavy blow, the cry of victory from Liam. Images of your future rushed through your head. You couldn't help it.
Jack sitting next to you at Liam's first grade graduation. Jack taking Liam to his t-ball games. Jack making dinner while you helped with homework. Seeing a glimpse through the crack in the door of Jack reading Liam his bedtime book, Liam curled up in Jack's lap, dozing off to the sound of his voice.
Stop it.
You're getting ahead of yourself.
You flip the eggs one last time before sliding them on to the plate. You steal a piece of bacon before plating the rest and setting it down on the kitchen table.
"Breakfast is ready Captain!" You call out. You can hear Liam's little footsteps and Jack's lengthier, weightier strides approach the kitchen. As Jack enters you hand him a cup of coffee.
"Thanks." He responds, brushing his fingers against yours as he takes the mug.
"Anytime." You smile then turn to face your brother. "You have fun with Jack?"
Liam is practically devouring his breakfast but he pauses just long enough to answer your question.
"Dr. Jack is the coolest! Can he come over again tomorrow?"
You and Jack both chuckle.
"I don't know about tomorrow, but if Jack is free and would like to come over again that works for me." You're talking to Liam but looking at Jack.
"I'd like to come over as much as I can dude. I don't think I can promise a present every time but I'll see what I can do."
Liam's face lights up. "That’s okay! You're still cool even without a present."
You and Jack both chuckle again. Without realizing you both reach for each other's hands. You stand there for a minute, taking in the moment. A wave of hope and possibility crashes over you.
This might actually be possible. You think to yourself.
Then reality sets back in. Not crashing down on you, but gently filling in the space between you. You look at the clock.
"Shit." You whisper so Liam can't hear. "We gotta get going. Can you please go get your backpack and put on your shoes?"
---------------------------------------
The rest of the morning rushes by. You all climb into the car after forgetting several things and having to run back indoors multiple times. You make it to school just on time and plant a big kiss on Liam's head.
"Bye sis! Bye Dr. Jack. Thank you for my new toy!" And with that he's through the double doors.
You and Jack climb back in the car and make the drive back to your apartment. Music plays softly in the background. You're quiet for a while before Jack pipes up.
"You know Benji's?"
"A few blocks over? Yeah I love it there. That's usually the spot Liam picks when we're celebrating anything; t-ball, a sticker on a spelling test, that kinda stuff."
Jack's eyes shift like he's picturing you sitting across the table from Liam, your faces both glowing from whatever victory you're celebrating.
"That's really sweet." Are the words he settles on. "Would you be okay if that's where I order breakfast from? I'd give my other leg for their breakfast salsa."
"Yeah, sounds good." You still feel guilty that he's paying for your breakfast. "I'll pay you back."
"Please don't." You glance at him for as long as you can without crashing the car. "I mean it is sort of our first date and as the one who asked you out I think me paying is the least I can do."
"Oh so you're a gentleman?"
"I'm anything you want me to be." His words are definite and final. Your breath catches and your cheeks flush. It’s quiet until you pull into the parking spot in front of your apartment.
When you reach for your keys this time his hand does find the small of your back. Your fingers fumble to find the lock. With a seemingly deafening click the door unlocks and before you're fully prepared your attending is standing in your living room. You realize, cringing, that your bedroom door is open and that he can see straight into the room with pillows and blankets strewn about, textbooks and notes crammed in every inch of bookshelf and counter space, and more stuffed animals than you were ready to admit you had. Jack stands there for a minute, taking in the space, while you slip off your shoes and plop your bag on the couch. You return to his side and brush the backs of his fingers against his, snapping his attention towards you.
You lock eyes. In that moment everything else is gone. There's no breakfast that needs to be made or laundry to turn. There was no charting to be done, or consultations, or codes. There was nothing. Just the two of you, hands reaching for each other. A few seconds felt like hours of staring into each other's eyes.
Something snapped. The air shifted. Your eyes widened. His jaw set. You were crashing into each other before you understood what was happening. His lips were soft and warm on yours, his stubble brushed your cheeks. It was a blur of lips colliding and tongues searching with a fury neither of you could control. Your hands were in his hair without you even meaning to put them there. His arms were wrapped around your waist, one hand coming up in between your shoulder blades, pulling you into him.
One of your hands slid down his neck to hold his face, the other tightening in his hair. A small groan escaped Jack's lips as your grip on his short, grey, curls tightened. You kissed him harder and he returned your intensity. You were both breathing hard, exchanging the same air between you. You filled each other's lungs and mouths and hands. You were pulling at the zipper of his sweatshirt and he was reaching for your belt when you froze suddenly. You pull back having to physically pry yourself off of him.
"Wait. I-" You're still breathing heavy.
"Oh god. I'm so- god I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" Worry plasters Jack's face. Worry that he went too far. That he scared you. Or hurt you.
You cut him off. "No it's okay. I just-" Your breath is returning to you slowly. "I want this. You. This. Just, not like this. I want to be much cleaner and well fed than I am coming off a ten hour shift. I want my legs to be shaved and my hair to be done because I want to feel pretty. I want to enjoy it. I want it to last."
Jack looked from your eyes, to your lips, and back up to your eyes before the widest smile you've ever seen from him spread across his face. It wasn't huge, but it was so warm you felt you might melt, and it was so genuine you felt it tugging at your heart without him even touching you.
He closed the space between you and held you face in his hands, planting a kiss on the top of your head. His hands slid down to wrap around your waist pulling you in so your head rested on his shoulder.
"How about this? His lips were pressed to your ear and he spoke just above a whisper. "You hop in the shower, I'll order breakfast, you can eat and get ready however you'd like. We can put on some music, and talk, and if you'll let me I can help with your hair or whatever else you may need." He felt your weight sink into him as your knees went weak. "If you want to, and you'll let me, we can do this however you want. The right way. As long as I have you I don’t care." He planted a soft but firm kiss on your neck. You held him tighter and you both stayed there for a moment, in each other's arms.
That morning was a blur. Not because it went too fast, but because it felt so unreal. For the first time in years you finally let go. You had the longest, hottest shower you'd had in months. You ate a meal someone else made and paid for. You laid on the chest of the first man who could get you to fully relax. In that moment you realized Liam might always come first to you, but you came first to someone else.
The sunlight fought to peek out the sides of your blackout curtains as you lead Jack into your bedroom. It was slow; deliberate and thoughtful. It meant something. It wasn't rough or rushed. It was intimate and savored.
You collapsed in a pile of limbs, and lips of skin, and heavy breathing. You drifted off, Jack's heart beating in your ear pressed to his chest, his arms tight around you. You didn't know what would happen when you woke up, but right now you were too happy and tried to care.
The Gala
[jack abbott x reader] [journalist reader] [age gap] [slow burn?] [brief mentions of war] [mentions of therapy and psychiatric medicine] [tactical gear jack] [new relationship] [not official] [gala] [fem reader] [mentions of casual alcohol use] [jealous jack] [confession] [angst] [feelings boiling over] [happy ending] [implied smut]
Word count: 5.2k
Summary: You're a journalist who has seen the horrors of war. You meet Jack in a support group and click instantly. A few weeks later you learn your work is winning a prestigious award and there will be a gala in your honor. You invite Jack as your date and things go perfectly until Jack sees a man flirting with you at the bar and gets jealous. It's a little messy, a little desperate, and a lot unspoken.
Author's note: hey chat hope this is fun for you to read as it was for me to write. i've been craving some jealous jack after a slow burn and this is what i came up with. feel free to critique or make requests for a part 2 or anything else you want to say. also lmk if i should write smutty part 2s to this or my other stuff. :)
You hated blow-drying your hair. It was long and thick; it took forever and it made your arms hurt and your forehead sweat. But tonight you had to. Tonight you were accepting an award you had dreamed about since college.
You had worked hard to get where you are now. You spent months in the middle east, documenting atrocity after atrocity. Bombs dropping, people screaming, guns firing, mothers screaming for their children and children screaming for their parents.
You had seen too much and you knew there was so much more you could never imagine.
You wrote down and photographed everything you saw. You published piece after piece, risking your own safety to expose the realities of the world around you.
After years overseas you couldn't take it anymore. The night sweats and horrible dreams. The uncontrollable shaking. The flashbacks. The screaming.
It got to you.
You came home. Saw a therapist. Or three. You tried pill after pill to try and make the nightmares stop but they just wouldn’t go away.
Until Jack.
You started going to a support group for those who have experienced war. That's where you met him.
He had been going for a couple years. This was your first meeting. You noticed him the second you walked in the room. He was still partially in his SWAT gear. No vest, but belt still intact, and boots thick and heavy on the ground. His quarter zip was tight to his arms and chest with a big SWAT patch over it. It made your heart race. The tactical gear brought memories soaring through your mind. Then you saw his face. Jaw set and rigid, like his tongue was permanently plastered to the roof of his mouth. Posture tall and stiff. Curls grey and tight to his head.
You saw his eyes and your heartbeat slowed. They weren't the eyes you were expecting. You were expecting cold, fierce daggers that pierced wherever his gaze happened to fall. But you couldn't be more wrong. They were soft, crinkled around the edges like someone who had spent decades laughing. They were a warm hazel, like the shade of a perfect cup of coffee. They drew you in and had you breathless for a moment.
You walked towards the circle of chairs and sat opposite him. You stole glance after glance. Your leg bouncing as you waited for seats to fill. It wasn't until about the fourth time you looked his way that you realized he was looking back at you. Quick glances at first, but then his gaze began to linger. And so did yours.
The meeting went on and you listened to everyone share their stories. You related to many of them. You weren't ready to share yourself quite yet, but you figured you'd get there one day.
Then it was Jack's turn.
He didn't use the time to dive deep into his trauma. He didn’t share his life story. Instead he asked a question:
"Anyone got pain meds better than Advil?" He asked with a playful smile.
The room chuckled. You found yourself laughing a little harder than everyone else.
He recounted the pain he had been feeling in his leg the past week. How the prosthetic never felt like a true extension of his body no matter what he did. It was clearly a hard subject for him to talk about. He took long pauses in between words and sentences. He looked down most of the time, but when he did look up, it was mostly at you.
The meeting ended and you went over to the snack table to get a cup of mediocre but free coffee. Someone filled the space next to you. Jack turned to look down at you.
"Nice to meet you." He extended a hand. "Jack Abbott."
You put your cup down and returned the handshake. As your hands met feeling shot through your palm and up your wrist. Your breath hitches but you catch it before it's noticeable. You introduced yourself with a smile and returned your hand to your cup.
"This your first meeting?" He asked.
"Yeah. My therapist thought it might help. Some community, you know?"
"Yeah that’s pretty much what mine said too." He nods his head, resting his hands on his hips.
He seemed to be considering something. You paused, waiting in case he was going to say what was on his mind.
"I don't mean to be too forward," His eyes were shifty now, he couldn't or wouldn’t make eye contact. "but we do this thing here where people who have been in the program sorta, I don't know... look out? For those newer to the group." He paused trying to phrase what he really meant.
You looked back at him softly and encouragingly. He pressed on.
"I guess what I'm asking is if you'd like my phone number. To talk about meeting stuff. You know like times and dates and skills and stuff." He started to ramble a bit but cut himself off. He was clearly not used to being nervous and you liked that you brought it out in him. He composed himself quickly, straightening his posture and locking his jaw and gaze.
"That's really sweet of you." You reply reaching for your phone. You open your contacts list and hand it to him. "Just put your info in and I'll text you." Your small smile widens as he types. When he hands you your phone back your fingers brush against each other. His are warm and calloused while yours are cold from the drafty room and slightly shaky from too much caffeine.
"I guess I'll see you next week." You say slightly tilting your head to one side.
"Yeah, next week. Looking forward." You both start to walk in opposite directions. He calls over his shoulder: "Text me."
And you do.
It started out as nothing more than two members of the same group. But slowly it got more and more personal. Little things, like where you lived and what you did for work. Then you started hanging out after meetings. Going for coffee or walks, then meals. You talked about everything under the sun. Family lives, personal and career goals, your deepest fears and your greatest hopes.
Things grew and grew. You sat closer to each other on park benches. You brushed hands as you walked. He brushed the hair out of your eyes from across the dinner table. His hand always seemed to find your lower back as you got in or out of his car. He kissed your cheek while saying goodnight after dropping you off from...
From what? Was it a date? This had been going on for months and you didn’t even have a proper name for it. You didn't know what this was but you knew you didn't want to stop.
When you got the news about the award you and your writing had won, Jack was the first person you thought to tell. You could imagine the way his face would light up. The spark that would flare behind his eyes, the way the corners of his lips would jerk fighting to try and form a smile but being so out of practice they give up. The way he would tell you he was proud of you without saying a word.
You facetimed him immediately. He answered after the second ring.
"Hey, what's wrong?" His expression was concerned.
"What are you doing right now?" You ask, your excitement barely contained.
"About to get in my car and head home. Why? What's wrong?" His concern hadn't faded. You quickly realized you had to do something to calm him down before he got intense.
"I have amazing news and you're the first person I wanted to tell."
"Go on." He implored.
"Remember that piece I published a few months ago?" He nodded. "Well it won an award and there's a gala next week where I'll be honored."
Jack froze for a minute before your words had fully sunken in. Then his eyes lit blazed. The corners of his lips jerked just like you knew they would.
"Holy shit!" He exclaimed. "That's fucking amazing. I'm so pr- You're so amazing."
Almost.
Jack fucking Abbott got four letters away from telling you he was proud of you. Shit, maybe the therapy really was working.
You beamed from ear to ear.
"Yeah it's from 6 to 11 next Friday."
"Congratulations." He sounded so genuine.
You hesitated, thoughts brewing in your head.
"Are you working that night?" You ask, trying to be discrete.
"No I don't think so." He replied casually. He wasn't getting it.
"It's kinda customary to bring a date to these kinds of things." You press on.
"Yeah galas can be intense." He still wasn't getting it.
"Well if you're not working that night..." You're hoping he'll get the hint and not make you ask him flat out.
He doesn't.
He just stares back at you.
You take a deep breath.
"Maybe you'd like to go with me?" Fine. He made you say it.
The words hang in the air like a chandelier hanging on by a thread, about to crash down over you at any moment.
"As your date?" His question smacks you in the face.
"I- Uh- Friend? Or- or date. Somewhere... in... there." You're clearly so anxious. The words are stumbling out of your mouth like mini drunken trolls on their way to wreak as much havoc as possible.
"A date it is." His eyes don't move away from the screen. Even though he's not there you can feel his eyes on you. Watching. Analyzing. He knows he can make you squirm with just a look and he knows exactly when to abuse that power. And he's doing it right now.
You're very clearly blushing.
"I gotta, um, go tell my parents. I gotta tell Jackie." (Your best friend since freshman year) "I gotta buy a dress." You're rushing your words.
"Hey, if you need any help with that last part you know where to find me." It was like he couldn't help himself. Like he had to constantly push to see where the line was. And then maybe cross it just a little.
"I gotta go. I'll talk to you later?" You're trying so hard to get off the phone so you can jump up and down and revel in the fact that you've accomplished a goal years in the making, and you get to get all dolled up and celebrate it with the man who makes your heart race, and your knees buckle, and your brain turn to mush with just a glance or brush of his fingertips across yours.
"Yeah I'll call you."
The week went by and with each passing day your excitement grew. You couldn't wait to stand on that stage, under the harsh lights, with everyone's eyes on you. You couldn't wait to be handed your award. It wasn't normally your style to be the center of attention but you worked hard for this dammit.
Your acceptance speech was written and rehearsed meticulously days prior to the event. Your dress was perfect. Dark brown silk, backless, long flowing skirt with a slit up to your knee. It fit you perfectly in every single way. You felt confident. You felt like the version of yourself you wanted other people to see.
You wanted Jack to see.
You.
In this dress.
Over the course of the week you had pictured, on multiple occasions, how the two of you would look together. Dressed to the nines. You in your dress. Your hair cascading down your back and over your shoulders. Head held high and posture straight. Jack in a suit. A bold but sleek watch on his wrist. Hair styled, but still rugged and a little messy on purpose. Cologne that smelled like rain and musk and strength; not so strong others could smell it, but when you were walking hand it hand you could smell it wafting off of him. Maybe the top button of his shirt was undone. Maybe you could see just a little bit more of his chest then you usually got to.
---------------------------------------------------------
It was the night of the gala. You were standing in front of your bathroom sink, playlist on, and your favorite drink on the counter. You take a sip and reluctantly pick up your hair dryer and round brush.
You hated blow-drying your hair. It was long and thick; it took forever and it made your arms hurt and your forehead sweat. But tonight you had to. Tonight you were accepting an award you had dreamed about since college. Tonight all eyes were going to be on you.
His eyes were going to be on you.
And you so desperately wanted him to like what he saw. Not that you needed his approval. But you wanted him to want you. And maybe you were finally willing to admit you wanted him too.
It took an hour but your hair had never looked better. It was glossy and smooth and soft when you ran your fingers through it. It had bounce and shine. You felt like a shampoo commercial in real life.
Your phone buzzed on the table.
Jack:
See you in an hour and a half. Be ready. ; )
That fucking wink.
You heart the message.
Don't be late. You text back, then put your phone down to keep getting ready. In the next 80 minutes you finish your makeup, put on your dress and your heels, pack your purse and finish your drink. With ten minutes to spare before Jack got here- because you knew he'd be exactly on time- you took one last look in the mirror and took a moment to try and see yourself from his perspective.
Your dress wasn't necessarily modest but it was appropriate. Your legs were elongated by the slit and the angle of your heels. Your purse and jewelry tied the whole thing together. You were walking elegance. The silk of the dress flowed and cascaded over you like water with every movement. You were glowing. You felt powerful and anyone who looked at you could see it.
A knock at the door.
You jump slightly.
Nerves still sharp as ever.
You take a breath and move to open the door.
And there he is.
In a navy blue suit with a white button down.
You were right.
The top button of his shirt is undone. It's bold yet still tasteful.
It's hot is what it is.
He reaches in to hug you and kisses you on your cheek. You melt a little under his touch. One hand on your lower back, the other grazing your shoulder blades. Every touch feels electric. Like being tickled, and shocked, and caressed all at the same time. You leaned into his touch and had to manually regulate your breathing. You linger in each other's touch for a moment longer than you needed to. Neither of you wanted to pull away. But neither of you were going to admit that.
Finally you broke apart. Both sets of eyes lingering on the other.
You broke eye contact.
"We should get going." Your head dipping down and then back up again.
You noticed his gaze lingering on your face. Your lips. Perfectly lined and glossed. You liked knowing he couldn't stop looking no matter how obvious he was being.
He seemed to snap out of his trance as you took a step forward towards the open door. He stepped aside to let you pass and closed the door behind you. He rested his hand on your lower back as he walked you to his car.
Holding your hand as you got in, he made sure you were settled before gently but firmly closing the door and walking around to get in the driver's seat.
He got in and when he turned on the car music immediately started playing. It was 90's and early 2000's R&B. Music from when he was your age. He wasn't that much older. Just enough.
The drive was quick. He could tell you were nervous and excited by the way you'd sit in silence, then rapidly blurt something out, then return to a stiff, anxious kind of silence. He talked to you in the way he did when you were both up late on the phone and he wanted you to get sleep, but also didn’t want to hang up. His voice was steady and low; grounding. It wasn't condescending or bossy, but reassuring and patient.
You arrived at the venue and the car was taken by a valet.
Jack turned to look at you as you looked up the wide staircase that lead to the reception hall.
"You ready?" He asked, looking you up and down, assessing for anything that might be wrong.
"As I'll ever be." You go to walk up the stairs but you stop when you feel a hand around yours. His hand moved yours to his upper arm so it was curled around his bicep. He didn’t say a word. He didn't have to. He was saying- without saying- that he was there. That you could lean on him. It was an active display of support.
You walked in together. The room buzzed with people. Normally the noise and the crowd would put you on edge; bombs and destruction you could handle, but small talk and networking were far out of your comfort zone. Tonight, however, you felt like you could handle whatever the night threw at you.
Boy, were you not expecting what, exactly, was going to be thrown at you.
Hand around his arm, the soft but sturdy fabric of his suit under your fingertips, you entered the fray. Jack dipped down to speak softly in your ear.
"What's first?" He asked, scanning the room for what social circle looked the most appealing.
"The bar." You reply. As confident as you are a little liquid courage couldn't hurt.
He chuckles and guides you over to the bar with a movement of his arm. You both order your drinks. You turn, back to the bar, one hand holding your glass, the other on the edge of the bar. You take a deliberate sip then turn to face Jack. It looks like there's a smile brewing under the tight, sharp lines of his mouth and jaw, but they just can't quite make their way to the surface.
You make your way towards a group of what happens to be high level editors for various different newspapers. You make small talk, they congratulate you on your award. You thank them then move over to the next group. Throughout the night you talk to publishers and board members and investors.
You felt eyes on you all night. Often times Jack's, but other people's too. You were the one everyone wanted to talk to. And they did. Jack was by your side the whole night. He'd squeeze your arm gently when he could see you were getting uncomfortable with the amount of complements you were getting. He'd rub your back softly for a second or two when he felt like he could get away with it. He was there. Laughing politely at jokes you knew he didn't think were funny. Nodding like he understood when investors droned on about numbers or editors yapped about spreads.
You felt someone else's eyes on you too. A man. Probably around Jack's age. In a suit that looked expensive and a little stiff. Her hair was black with streaks of grey. He was probably an investor of some sort. He looked you up and down like you were a prize he wanted to earn. You weren't going to approach him and he wasn't going to approach you. I mean he saw you with Jack. Right?
Jack turned to face you.
"I really have to find a bathroom."
"You go, I'll go get us more drinks. Meet you back at the bar."
With that you separated for the first time in hours.
You made your way over to the bar. You waited your turn then ordered another round of drinks. You noticed the investor out of the corner of your eye.
Shit.
He was walking towards you.
Jack couldn't be too much longer right? You'd meet up and go on about your night.
But he wasn't fast enough.
The space next to you filled with a looming, slightly ominous presence. He looked down at you. Then at the bartender handing you the drinks for you and Jack.
"Oh you got me a drink?" The man next to you asked in a voice that made your skin crawl a little. You didn’t answer. Maybe if you ignored him he'd realize you're not interested and walk away.
He reached for Jack's drink.
You instinctively grabbed it, knocking his hand away and spilling liquor on the bar.
"Woooah." He drawled slowly and condescendingly as he pulled his hand back. "Sorry I was just tryna be cute. But who's that for? Your boyfriend?"
"He's not my-" You cut yourself off. Why did you say that? You could've just gone with it and told him to go away but part of you just couldn't get you to use that word to describe him. Boyfriend. Jack Abbott wasn't anyone's boyfriend. He was a friend to some, neutral to most, and a pain in the ass to a few more. Maybe he wasn't your boyfriend, but in that moment it dawned on you that you were basically his girlfriend. Minus the sex you were there for everything a girlfriend would be. You didn't have time to process this realization before you were interrupted by the investor's voice.
"So you're available?" He pushed.
"No I-" Before you could respond a voice cut in. You felt a hand on your back.
It was Jack.
"No. She's not."
"Hey man. A beautiful girl, alone at the bar, I had to try. You get it right?" He tried to reason. Jack wasn't having any of it. He stepped in between you and your would-be suitor and reached for his drink. He took a long, slow sip, put the glass down and took a step back. With his hand still on your lower back he turned you around to face him so the investor could see you both in profile.
Jack tightened the arm around your back, fingers pressing into your skin, while his other hand reached up to the nape of your neck, fingers sliding into your hair. He looked at you for a moment. You were breathless. He kissed you. Slow at first, then deeper and faster. His tongue circled yours. You explored each other's mouths cautiously at first, but caution fading away into desperation and guttural need. The rest of the world faded away in that moment. He held you in a way that made you feel both grounded and light headed. Your lips pressed together over and over, like they couldn't bear to be separated.
It was a moment before you realized the man at the bar had walked away in defeat. You broke apart slightly. Your breath was unsteady. So was his. You just looked at each other. You separated fully and just as Jack was about to say something you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around.
It was a woman with a headset and clipboard.
"It's almost time for your award. Please follow me." She says in a kind but no-nonsense tone.
You tun back to Jack.
"I have to go. We'll- Later- I-" You turn, clearly flustered, and follow the woman with the clipboard.
Fuck.
Now?
You'd been secretly waiting for this moment for months and it happens right now?
No.
Shut it off. Put it in a box. Do whatever you have to do to make it through this award. Not just make it through. Enjoy. This is your moment. You've earned it. Gloat a little. Take some time to bask in the work you did and the recognition it got.
You take a deep breath.
-------------------------------------------------
The ceremony is everything you want it to be. Your speech is heartfelt and genuine. You continue to speak up for those whose voices are silenced. You thank those who have helped you get where you are today.
The plaque is shiny.
You look out into the audience and see more eyes on you than you thought were possible. You saw the polite looks on their faces while you spoke, some more earnest than others.
Then there was Jack.
His face shown through the crowd, a light behind his eyes you had never seen before. He was proud. He was so proud you could see it from fifty feet away. His gaze made your chest feel warm and your stomach flip. If you hadn't rehearsed so much you'd be stumbling over your words.
The moment came and went. As you walked off stage you felt proud. Genuinley proud. And that wasn't something you felt often.
Jack came to meet you back stage. Once he saw you he closed the distance between the two of you in a few deliberate strides.
"Can we talk?" He asked. Almost pleading but not quite there yet.
It all came crashing down on you. The neat little box you had sorted all your feelings into turned itself over and dumped itself out. You got angry.
"About what Jack? About the weeks of whatever this has been? The unspoken, sometimes-spoken, joked about but never too real thing this is? Or would you rather talk about the way you got jealous and made out with me –for the first time mind you- in front of some douche bag I could've rejected all by myself, in front of room full of people, right before I go win an award I've been working on for years? Is that what you'd like to talk about?"
You weren't expecting all of that to come out. Not here. Not like this.
His jaw set and his shoulders tensed.
"Hey if I'm not mistaken you kissed me back 'in front of that douchebag; right before you got your award' so don't try and blame that on me." He had never been this intense with you before. He wasn’t angry, yet, but he was defensive and his guard was up. That broke you a little. But you had been so on edge for so long and this, apparently, was your breaking point.
"Of course I kissed you back!" You're exasperated, and frustrated, and pent up. "Can't you see that I've wanted to kiss you for months? But no matter how close we get there's always been this invisible wall. So pardon me, for seizing an opportunity I've waited months for. My real question is why here? Why now? God, I don’t want to be having this conversation, here, with all these people." You let out a strong exhale.
"Can we take this outside? Please?" He's closer to begging now.
"Fine." You huff.
"I saw a spot on the way in, over this way." He heads towards the entrance and you follow.
There's a small balcony tucked just out of view. He holds the door open for you as you step out into the night air.
"You want to know why here and now?"
His eyes were locked on yours so intensely it was almost intimidating. But he wasn't coming from a place of domination, he was longing, and yearning, practically pleading for you to hear him out.
"Because I snapped. It was too much. I heard him ask if I was your boyfriend. I heard you say no. I got mad, but then I realized I had no right. You were telling the truth. And that made me even more furious. In that moment I couldn't stand anyone, especially that dickhead, thinking you were available. Because I don’t want you to be. I want us to be a thing, so badly, I just don't know what to do with myself. As much as we've shared with each other the past few months I just couldn't get myself to share this. I'm sorry it came out like this and I'm sorry if it impacted your big moment, truly, but I'm not sorry it happened."
You were frozen. His words were ringing in your ears and spinning around in your head. He pressed on.
"I want you. I want to be with you. All the way. The dates and the fights and the late nights- I want it all with you." He pauses. "If you'll have me."
He looks at you, waiting for your response. He looks almost small, if that's even possible. The look behind his eyes makes you feel like he'll crumple or soar at your next words.
You don't say anything.
Instead you take a step forward, closing the distance between you. You reach one hand to his chest and another into the back of his curls. You press your lips into his, desperate and searching. You're still gentle, but enthusiastic nonetheless. He responds almost instantly. One hand reaching for your waist, the other for the nape of your neck. Your fingers wrapped in each other's hair, your bodies pressing together and hearts racing. Your breaths both quicken. You exchange the same air between the two of you. His hands and breath feel warm on your body and face. He feels sturdy, and stable. His lips are soft and wet and you want more. You want him right here and now. Out of these fancy clothes, just the two of you, finally crossing that line.
You reach to unbutton his shirt.
He pulls away.
"Not here." Your expression falls at his words. "I want you, god do I want you, but not here. Not like this. I want to be able to enjoy you, to savor you properly. Maybe, in a bed, would be nice." The corners of his mouth jerk once again, that damn smile trying and failing once again to break through.
Your eyes soften and a small smile traces your lips.
"I'd like that." You reply.
"How about," He leans in conspiratorially. "I drive us home, we open a bottle of wine and listen to some music. We can talk, and I can hold you. Then, if it feels right, I can slip you out of that dress and into my bed and I can finally live out one of the many fantasies I've had for the past few months."
"I think that sounds good, but on one condition."
He raises his eyebrows.
"Are you finally going to call yourself my boyfriend now?"
His composure faulters for a second but he regains it quickly.
"For you, I can make that happen." He reaches one hand towards your face and kisses you once softly.
"Then what the fuck are we still doing here?" You ask playfully.
With that you're off. Back to his car. To his apartment. To his bed.
It was everything you had imagined it would be and more.
That night you went to bed not only a prestigious journalistic award winner, but also Jack Abbott's girlfriend. And you thought those were both two pretty cool things to be.
chat this one is truly my best work yet. if you like my style this is the piece i think you'll like the most. it's a little dramatic, a little confusing, very confident reader, and jealous jack. it has a little bit of everything from reader success, to an unlabeled relationship, to jealousy, a confession, and a first kiss (maybe not all in that order). i hope you guys like it as much as i do.
much love <3