[INTERVIEW] Wonho’s Exclusive Interview with Dispatch
[Dispatch = Reporter Kim Soo-ji]
“In fact, I wasn’t at peace.”
”Any words would only be excuses. I was wrong.“
”So I did my best. So that I would never live like that again.“
Then he talked about his love for the fans.
“I have receive something that’s called love. So at least, I don’t want to disappoint them.”
Dispatch interviewed Wonho, who was active as Monsta X, in February, when the investigation of marijuana accusation was in action.
“Yes, I admit my past. I was childish. I am trying to not live like that. I only think about the other members, the group, our fans.”
And added. It was all a misunderstanding.
“I didn’t do marijuana. The police is currently investigating it. When my innocence is proven, please write my story.”
”I want to apologize and I want to clear the misunderstandings. And I want to earn apology.“ Then he told the story of his childhood.
◆ "Those days, I was unhappy”
A rental apartment in Sanbon-dong, Gunpo-si, Gyeonggi-do. A (small) living room and one room were all. There, he lived with his grandmother, father, mother and younger brother.
“Until I was 20, we lived in a small rented apartment. My grandma had the room so my father, my mother, me and my brother had to sleep in the living room together. I didn’t know it was poverty, back then.”
Then when he entered elementary school, he couldn’t get along with his friends. And he was bullied. He was made miserable, repeatedly. Wonho was a timid child with a lot of fears.
“One day they bullied me because I was dirty, the other day because I was boring. My friends hated me. To be honest this is a memory I don’t want to recall.
"In other words, I was an outcast. My house was not peaceful, either. Because my parents often fought. So I spent more time outside, everyday. Then I met some unfamiliar hyungs on the neighbourhood, and I followed them around.”
Then after that, no one bullied him. In fact, he felt like he was the one who scared them. And he said he liked how his friends felt uncomfortable with him.
“One day, I bumped with the friend who used to bully me. Unconsciously I flinched. But that friend said 'Hoseok, I’m sorry’ first.
Suddenly I felt good. I shouldn’t though..’ Wonho stopped being an outcast. But he wasn’t happy. And even his personality changed. It was when he was at the high school.
"That day too, my parents were fighting. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I no longer saw hope (in my house). I left the house without any plan.
I didn’t know the price of a family back then.” The outside world was more dangerous. He met with new friends and things went awry. His friends received received punishment for special theft. Wonho was placed on probation.
“I don’t want to blame my friends. Because that was my choice too. I know it sounds like and excuse, but I was childish. It’s my fault. I did wrong. I’m sorry.”
Wonho’s teenage was empty. But then when he was at the second grade of high school he met Jung Daeun.
“We got close pretty soon. We became fitting model together. Daeun helped me a lot. She cheered me so I can dream my dream to become a singer.”
Before his 20s, Wonho, no, Hoseok was rough. He blamed the reality and went off the way. But after his 20s, Lee Hoseok, no, Wonho changed. He countered the reality and became better.
“I saw some friends who practiced like crazy. They were dreaming something called ‘dream’. I was ashamed. I lived only by blaming others.. So I promised. That I would not waste my life any longer.”
Then Wonho practiced day and night. He went to the company whenever he could. When he needed to practice alone, he would go to the emergency stairs and practiced there.
“With my fellow trainees I danced and sang over night. It wasn’t hard. Because I got the hope that 'there’s a future for me, too.’ I was happy. And I also really liked living together with them. I learned a lot for 4 years.”
◆ "The past stood in the way”
Then he debut with Monsta X in 2015. He released 12 albums in Korea. America, Europe and Asia. It paid off. At the time, they ranked 39th in the 'Billboard’ Pop songs chart (2019). It was the third time in K-pop history.
And Wonho ran for the future too in 2019. But then his past tripped him. The accusation of debt, theft and even marijuana use in 2013.
“There’s my fault, but there’s a misunderstanding too. Of course it’s something I cant reverse. Being in a similar environment doesn’t mean that I go out of line too. I reflected a lot when I was under probation (for special theft).”
Wonho no longer gives excuses. He admits his past and he was sorry for it. But for the marijuana use, he strongly denied. He never touched any drugs at all.
“I admit the problem with my past. But what’s not is not. I never do marijuana. And I have explained this part clearly to the police.”
And after the investigation for more than 5 months, they released the statement that there’s no proof of him using marijuana. And they also investigated about the other drugs but there’s no proof either.
◆ “I didn’t want to hurt you”
Wonho left his group in October. “I was really doing my best to prepare for the new album. I really hate seeing Monsta X fall (because of me). I thought that dropping out sooner would be the path for the group to live. I wanted to block the damage as best as I could.”
One more, there’s Monbebe in his decision.
“I can talk about this confidently. After I met Monbebe, I changed a lot. I know how it felt to be loved. I want to live my life even better day by day.”
According to him, he only had Monbebe. His daily life was all about composing, working out and communication (with Monbebe). He actually talked with Monbebe for 3-4 hours during the world tour via V Live.
“Actually it’s the first time I ever felt those warmth. So I don’t want to disappoint them. I only want to do the things that the fans like. I want to return the love. But…”
He recalled his past and wondered what he could do. And the only answer was withdrawal. He thought that that would (at least) lessen the fans’ pain.
“I have promised a lot to my fans. I said I would always be by their side. I’m sorry I could only leave you like this. I live only by looking at you, though..”
Then he explained why he could only do that.
“I lived my past as Lee Hoseok, and now I live as Wonho. Is Wonho responsible for the things Hoseok did? I have to be. At the end, my past hurt you. I want to lessen your pain.”
Wonho didn’t go out of the house for a long time. He was afraid it would give damage to the people around him so he lived holding his breath. And then he was free from the accusation of marijuana. He said it was a relief.
“Even now I can’t forget my fans. Rather, I regret it. I should have treated you better. I just want to say I’m sorry, that’s why I did this interview.”
Translation by @nunudanaa
Original article at Dispatch
