when you're not around

jac zaher. nineteen. soul of jason. mwu. "I am not happy. I am not unhappy. I am frozen somewhere in the middle that is so much worse. I am nowhere. Nothing is happening and I am getting more and more sad."

[jaczaher-blog]

loganpcrrish:

“Ah shit, I didn’t even see you there dude.” He realizes that his surprise does manage to stop his apology, which previously was wiggling out of his lips. “Sorry though, really I didn’t mean to take you out like that –or make it look like I’m taking you out. I only do that on purpose on the field, I swear.” And now he won’t stop talking about himself, figures. “What’re you doing here? You’re not my next student are you?”

Jac laughed. “Don’t worry about it, man. You couldn’t take me out if you tried.” It was a far cry from the truth; Jac couldn’t count how many times he’d been knocked aside by Logan during games. He slid his phone back into his pocket, shaking his head. “Nah—not yet, at least. I was actually looking for you, bro. I’m going crazy cooped up at home. What are you doing when you finish up here?”

[jaczaher-blog]

preston-carver:

He recognized the figure who was walking through the door, not really by name, but he had seen him around campus here and there. What Preston wasn’t expecting was for the person to answer and also ask their own question. “Huh? Well I mean I did send out some texts, yeah.” He raised an eyebrow and flipped through his phone before he started laughing. “Oh yeah, that was definitely me. I guess my fingers must have been tired after streaming so much.” He waved him over but seeing that he was still standing there he said, “You can come and sit with me if you want. I actually kinda sent out a mass text to see if anyone wanted to go out for milkshakes. I’m Preston.”

The word streaming caught Jac’s attention; then, nodding, he pulled out a chair and sat down. “Oh. Preston, that’s right,” he said, although the name Preston would have been his last guess. “I’m Jac.” He felt a little out-of-place sitting there, but reasoned that he would leave once one of Preston’s closer friends arrived. It would have been impolite to do otherwise, but most of all, Jac was bored, and Preston had piqued his interest. “So, what was it that you said before—about streaming?” It was a word that Jac hadn’t heard before—at least in a context outside of urinating, which he had a hard time imagining that Preston meant—and who could blame him for being curious?

[jaczaher-blog]

preston-carver:

location: oracle diner date: june 20th status: open

It was getting late out and Preston had just finished up streaming a long session of playing Fortnite. It wasn’t really his favorite but it was what was popular now and a lot of people were asking for it so who was he to deny them? He managed to pull off a couple of wins too, boosting his ego a fair bit. As he stretched in his chair, he heard his joints pop. While Stay Hydrated Bot kept him hydrated, he was starving. What he really wanted was a chocolate milkshake, so that meant he was going to make his way to Oracle get one. He didn’t really want to go by himself so he sent off a couple of messages to see if anyone was up for going. If not, he didn’t care but some company would definitely be welcome.

It didn’t take him long before he had made his way there. He didn’t see any cars he recognized so he just made his way inside. He took a spot close to the front of the diner. That way if he saw anyone, even if he didn’t text them, he could call out to them as they walked by. It was only a few more minutes before he saw someone. “Hey! Over here!”

Much of Jac’s day had been spent studying; then, growing tired of that, he’d decided to go to the gym---not that anyone would be surprised. Since enrolling at M.W.U, Jac felt as though he had slipped into a routine of going to his classes, completing his classwork, studying then working out. It wasn’t as though he didn’t have the time to do anything else; it was that he couldn’t think of anything else to do. With that dull thought, Jac shouldered on his bag and made his way to the exit, resolving to go to bed that night before ten o’clock. I wonder what Logan’s up to tonight, Jac thought, then as if on cue, his phone went off. The message was from a number that he didn’t recognize or have saved, but after a day as lackluster as this, Jac couldn’t be deterred.

Sweaty and dressed down in his hoodie and shorts, Jac made his way to the nearby Oracle Diner. He stepped inside and was hit suddenly by the smell of burgers, fries and other, much greasier food; still yet to be deterred, Jac looked around for a familiar face. When he heard somebody yelling out to him, he paused, not recognizing them at first. “Oh---uh---hey,” said Jac. He held up his phone. “Are you the one that texted?”

[jaczaher-blog]

loganpcrrish:

mount wells’ public library  // june 18th // 4:07pm // open

He’s minding his own business for the most part, just having finished with a student and waiting around an hour for the next one. During the year he liked to hold tutoring sessions on the MWU campus, but in the summer kids didn’t need that kind of intimidation. So he moved to the library, less scary and definitely not filled with stressed out university kids working through the hot months. He’s up going through the shelves of books when he abruptly turns around, assuming no one else would be inside on a day like this. This ends in smacking into the other person, harder than someone should by accident. 

“Ah fuck! I’m sorry, wasn’t trying to take you out I swear. Didn’t bruise anything did I?” 

“Easy, slugger,” said Jac. “It’s just me.”

Years of playing basketball, football and lacrosse had given Jac thicker skin, meaning that their brief scuffle wasn’t nearly as bad as Logan made it out to be. Sure, the small bump had loosened Jac’s grip on his phone, but he was fortunate to step away otherwise unscathed. “You should be more careful, bro. If I didn’t have all these muscles, you’d have wiped me out.”

[ashara]

#trying to make decisions like

[ohbeauregard]

Okay, um, if I was the one who failed, could you at least tell me why I failed, for my own edification? It took you 82 minutes to choose a hat.

Bonus:

[jaczaher-blog]

( jac zaher | text posts )

[swans-savior]

[terrilynn88]

Skam Meme: [1/7] Characters: Yousef Acar

“Everyone thinks they’re on the good side. But there’s actually nothing that’s good or evil. There’s just a lot of people in groups, so that they won’t be alone.”

[fyp-psychology]

I am astonished, disappointed, pleased with myself. I am distressed, depressed, rapturous. I am all these things at once, and cannot add up the sum.

C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections (via fyp-psychology)

[merulae]

It is not in some hiding-place that we will discover ourselves; it is on the road, in the town, in the midst of the crowd, a thing among things, a human among humans.

Jean-Paul Sartre, Intentionality: A Fundamental Idea of Husserl’s Phenomenology (via ladyspug)

[jaczaher-blog]

( jac zaher | moodboard ) it is not in some hiding-place that we will discover ourselves...

[tocapturethisvoice]

[rhidley]

[kehlani]

[bidoctor]

#literally me

[sanabakkouh]