cool cat

@jadexngyuen

Jade. 22. Fashionista meets chemistry nerd. 🌹

34 posts

Laurie could feel a spark of defensiveness rise within him, but he shoved it back down. Now wasn't the time, and he didn't come here without expecting to do a bit of grovelling to get back in Jade's good books. He was under no illusion that it would be easy to do, and he was prepared for that. Seeing her get this emotional, though? Laurie hadn't been ready for how crappy that would make him feel. He stepped a little closer, reaching out and cupping her face between his hands. "I know." Ultimately, it didn't matter how much he wanted to defend himself. He knew he had fucked up, badly, and he couldn't even begin to put it right unless he owned that. "You've got every right to question me. I don't like it, obviously, but I know it. But I'm not here because I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, Jade. That's not me. I'm here because I didn't get over you either. I tried, I failed. It's not happening."

She felt slightly idiotic for it, but the moment her face was taken in his hands, Jade felt a tiny gasp escape her lips. Her watery gaze didn't falter from his, though. Her usual urge was to roll her eyes and ignore anything he had to say, but this time, she was listening. I didn't get over you either. It was what she wanted to hear for so long, but now? She didn't even know how to process it. Her brain seemed to be short circuiting, searching his stupidly blue eyes as if the answer of what to say would be there. There was a small silence growing between them. Still, it didn't feel weird. It felt necessary. One hand moved to rest on top of his, her thumb grazing against his knuckles. "I'll strangle you in your sleep if you're lying to me, Laurie," she uttered, although it didn't have the same defensive tone from before. Maybe, just maybe, she was actually starting to believe him. "But I'm really hoping you're not." She hesitated before letting the question on her mind be spoken out loud. "So, we're doing this again? No backing out this time?"

Laurie wasn't exactly a stranger to emotional outbursts from women he had been involved with. Jade was the tip of the iceberg when it came to his normal dating patterns. He blew hot, then cold, but normally, when he was done he was done. That wasn't the case with Jade. Their first fling felt like it was way too long ago, and yesterday at the same time. Unlike his other exes, though, he actually cared about working this out with her, so when she spoke, he listened, a frown appearing on his face as he did. "You don't have to know just now," he pointed out. "if you need time, I get that. I can be patient." He meant it. He hadn't expected to come here and be kissing her straight away, but if that was how things worked out, he wasn't going to argue with it, but he understood that it would take her a little time to get to a place where she truly forgave him. "But Jade... I'm not leaving again. You really think I'd have done all this just to let you down a second time?"

Somehow, Jade didn't expect the words that fell from Laurie's mouth. She was waiting for him to laugh in her face and say that it was all a gigantic prank or snarl and call her stupid like old times. Anything but him saying he wouldn't leave her again. He had a point; it would be a waste of time and energy for him to come on the show just to corner her and talk. There was still a part of her that was waiting for it to end, though, and she had to make that known. "It's not even you I'm confused about," she sighed, her voice losing its edge from before. "You burned me really bad last time, Laurie. How am I supposed to fully believe you and that it couldn't happen again? Don't get me wrong, I want to. God, you don't know how long I waited for this. I got to a point where I'd almost convinced myself it was completely over, that this whole thing between us was done...but deep down, I never stopped hoping you'd come back to me. It never fully felt like it was over." She had to look away once she felt a fresh batch of hot tears resurface. "I'm just scared."

It all felt so familiar, almost the same story as the first time they kissed, off-camera on another show. It felt like a lifetime ago. What was different this time, though, was the tears from her side. It wasn't pleasant to see. No matter how much she drove him insane, he never wanted to see her cry. There was nothing that had ever made him feel more scummy, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't had his moments. When she tore her lips from his, he blinked at her for a moment, waiting for her to say something, but nothing came. No words, just her tears, and suddenly she was pressing her face to his shirt, and he reached a hand up to cup the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair. "I got you," he half-whispered, because he didn't know what else to say. He'd never been someone that people turned to when they needed comfort, and yet, here he was.

Although there wasn't any real way to slow it down or stop it, Jade couldn't help but feel stupid about the entire situation. Stupid for falling in love with Laurie, stupid for getting so hurt over a reality show, and majorly stupid for bursting into tears in front of him. At least he was being nice about it. It didn't lessen the embarrassment on her end, though. "Sorry," she mumbled into the fabric before pulling back a bit and patting her own rolled up sleeve against her cheeks. She didn't separate from him, just moved enough so she could look him in the eye. It was easier said than done, finding her gaze slipping back downwards the moment they met his. Laurie and his stupid blue eyes. "I just...I don't know what to do now." She offered up a shrug, although it somehow felt pathetic in the moment. "I don't know how to be here with you and pretend like any of this is normal, or like I don't want to slap you and kiss you at the same time, Laurie. I can't...I can't do a repeat of last time. I don't think I could handle that. If you're gonna leave, can you just do it now so I don't have to be blindsided by it later?"

"I know," Laurie's tone was hushed. He was not stupid enough to think a hug would fix things, but she wasn't pushing him away, or beating him up, so that was a start. "I know I'm the worst. I fucked up, Jade. I know." Laurie had never really taken responsibility for anything in his life, always managing to dodge blame and place it at someone else's feet. This time, though, there was nobody to blame but himself, and so here he was, owning up, taking accountability for his mistakes and the burning wreckage they had left behind him. What Jade did next caught him by surprise. Out of everything, a kiss was the last thing he expected. He didn't think too much of it before kissing her back, though. He kept it gentle, the pressure of his lips against hers tender. "I'm sorry," he murmured against her lips between kisses. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

This whole different reality show apperance was supposed to be a way for Jade to attempt to move on and pocket a bit of cash in the process. The last thing she expected was to be back in Laurie's arms within a couple hours of filming. Maybe it was supposed to be like that. She wasn't exactly sure why, but once she actually heard him apologize, some metaphorical dam broke. She could've continued with kissing him if it weren't for that, but actually hearing the apology come out of his mouth threw everything she knew or expected off the rails. It had to be the only explanation, considering that she went from pressing her lips to his to breaking away from his mouth with a sob seconds later. She couldn't even find words. She shook her head, willing some kind of explanation to come out but not finding anything. There likely wasn't anything to explain, though. She'd skipped to the anger part of what happened so fast that all the bottled up sadness was finally making its appearance. "I-" was all she managed to squeak out before getting cut off by her own tears and pressing her face to his shirt as if that were the solution to stop everything from hurting so much.

"I tried," Laurie couldn't help but let out a wince. "It all got so angry so quickly. But I tried." Could he have made more of an effort? Sure, but at the time, it had seemed like a good idea to let the dust settle and try and get his perspective across when she'd cooled off. What he had taken for granted, however, was the notion that even when the event wasn't so raw, she still wouldn't want to speak to him. He'd made a few more attempts - each one seemingly going worse than the last, and this was his last attempt at putting things right. At the revelation she still loved him, Laurie was knocked speechless. It should be exactly what he wanted to hear, but for some reason, it made him feel scummier than ever. He didn't respond with words. Instead, he reached out and pulled her in for a hug, one hand cupping the back of her head gently.

Jade should've hated him, and she wanted to. It wasn't like before, though. She couldn't go back to the old days when it was just pettiness and miscommunication between them. Things had shifted beyond what was the norm for them. She never expected to fall for him, and yet there she was, being one of those girls who let themselves get heartbroken over Laurie of all people. Her hand slid up to his chest to push him away once the hug came. She never did, though. It seemed they were getting the television worthy moment that never happened from their Bachelor stint. Her hand remained still as she found herself pathetically sobbing against his chest. "I'm really mad at you," she muttered, managing to pull herself back enough to peer upwards through her scattered, tear-blurred vision of him. "I think you might be the worst person in the world, Laurie Caldwell-Browne. You hurt me worse than anyone has in my whole life, and you really, really suck for that." The annoying wobbling came back to her bottom lip, and she wanted to stop it. Maybe that was what possessed her to do what she did next. Even though it was tearfully, she still found herself moving up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips to his.

He hadn't come here with the intention of getting angry and yelling at her. He didn't want that anymore. And yet, it was so easy to do, slipping back in to old habits from even before they had fallen for one another. She got under his skin in a major way, and taken hold somewhere he couldn't dig her out from, no matter what he did to try and forget her. What wasn't so easy, though, was shutting his mouth and listening to her, actually listening, but that was what Laurie did. There were several points of her speech that nearly prompted him to cut her off and go on a rant of his own, but he held back. When she finished, he shook his head. "Jade," his voice was quiet, but still gruff. "Don't cry. Please don't cry." Somehow, seeing the tears on her face made him feel like literal scum. He was used to her yelling, but this was a different ballgame all together, and he hated it. "It wasn't like that," he protested, though suddenly he was aware that it was exactly what it looked like to her. "Look, if you'd just... if you'd let me explain. It wasn't like that." He ran a hand through his hair. Unlike his siblings, he was never gifted with words. "I had real feelings for you, too. That part wasn't fake. But that's why I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't take something real and make it false. And it just... it scared me to death, Jade."

Despite his pleading, Jade knew that unfortunately for the both of them, her tears weren't going anywhere. Even as he attempted to explain it and looked like he felt sincere about it, it still hurt. This was a conversation she would've just loved to not have at all. At least with the communication cut off and him out of sight and out of mind, she could attempt to move on. This didn't make it so easy, though. "You don't think I was scared, too?" she asked, unable to mask the way her voice tremored now. "And how was I supposed to know that? After everything we went through, why couldn't you just tell me that instead of letting me embarrass myself?" She finally looked at him, thinking that might make things easier. It didn't, though. Not at all. "I let my walls down for you, Laurie, and you just came in and bulldozed everything...and that's not even the worst part of all. I know that deep down, I wouldn't be this angry if I wasn't still in love with you." She wasn't sure if it was from hearing the words spoken out loud or the realization of them, but both seemed to be enough to have her bursting into tears and turning away from him to attempt to shield it.

"Do you have to fucking shout?" He didn't ambush her with the plan to start an argument, but things were rapidly devolving into one. He knew he was pretty much entirely to blame for that. She had trusted him, and he had given her every reason not to. But he was trying, and growing endlessly frustrated that she seemed incapable of seeing that. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes, already feeling a headache coming on. "All right, sorry, yeah, you have every reason to shout. But if you'd just listen to me. I can explain..." He broke off, brows furrowing in confusion. "Fiancée?" It took a moment for him to realise what she was talking about. "You mean Sydney? That wasn't real, Jade, Jesus. I thought you were supposed to be smart."

Jade had played the scenario out so many times in her head. She planned on being collected and acting like he meant nothing and that he was nothing. Her little fantasy of how it would play out was very different from the reality of the situation, though. The comment about her being smart seemed to be the last domino that tumbled down the stack holding any last shred of composure she had. "You know what was real?" Her eyes were stuck to the floor, her voice taking on a much different tone from the shrillness of just moments ago. "The way I felt about you. The way I let myself fall for you even though I knew it was a bad decision considering everything from before...but I loved you, Laurie." She finally looked up, pressing her lips together to try and stop the bottom one from wobbling so much before she continued. "I was in love with you, and you let me fall in love with you and think you felt the same just to humiliate me and choose another girl. And you know what's a real slap in the face? You're not even with her anymore." She wanted her words to be angry ones, but instead, they came out as an accompany piece to the way tears were suddenly cascading down her cheeks. "So you're right, okay? You win. Clearly, I'm not smart. You should've just kicked me out at the beginning. That would've been so much easier than doing all of this."

Laurie had sworn to himself he would never do reality television again - and then, the producers had given him a call, and told him they had Jade signed up for the newest season. What had happened between them was a few years ago now, but was still a huge regret - he had been too scared to give her what she deserved, but instead of facing his fears, he had fucked up in the most humiliating of ways, and despite his attempts to make contact, she had always knocked him back. Here, though? She couldn't avoid him.

"Jade," he called out, finding her alone in the hallway of the house the show was being filmed at. His arrival had not been received well, and though he was sure it would make good television, he hadn't come here for that. He was here for her. "You can't avoid me forever. We're either having this conversation now, off the camera, or on it. I'll let you choose which one it's gonna be." His words were gruff - she always had a way of bringing out the worst in him.

@jadexngyuen

Jade had considered herself to be a smart person. Smart enough to know that even after swearing up and down to never do another a reality TV show, if enough money was thrown in your lap, you say yes. It all seemed worth it at the time, but now? There wasn't enough money in the world to get her to want to be in the same room as Laurie. Not only had he humiliated her, but he let it happen for a whole broadcast audience to witness, too. Millions of people had seen her at her lowest point to date, and that was one thing she could never forgive. She'd been pretty decent at avoiding him, too, but he was just as stubborn as her, and a moment of sneaking away to the bathroom ended up being a trap. She'd shut the door behind her, but his voice boomed through the hall and his words zapped something back to life in her. "Oh, are we?" she ask-shouted immediately after swinging the door open, letting it slam behind her as she stormed out. "Don't do me any favours, Laurie. In fact, don't you have a fiance that you can have your little conversations with? Why don't you give her a call if you wanna talk to someone so bad?"

lauriecb:

Laurie knows what he has to do, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. When he had first seen Jade step out of the limo, he would never have expected to be here. But over the weeks, they had gotten closer, and now, Laurie would be lying if he said he didn’t have feelings for her. That was why this was so necessary. He loved Jade, but he also knew himself better than he cared to admit. His love was never lasting, coming and going far too quickly and leaving a wreckage in its wake. He didn’t want to do that to her. He needed to hurt her now, so he didn’t hurt her even more down the line.

She steps out of the limousine, and his breath catches in his throat. She looks beautiful, and that’s only makes things worse. He closes his eyes for a moment, exhaling everything caught in his lungs, and by the time he opens them again, Jade is right in front of him. She takes his hands, and he gives her a weak smile. “Hey, you.” He’s sure she can feel the way his palms are sweating, and so he drops one of her hands, though keeps hold of the other, and jerks his head around the side of the house, where they will have a bit of privacy while the camera crew set up for what’s coming next. “Can we talk? About what’s about to happen?”

Jade’s brows pinched together as she noticed that Laurie’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. They’d spent enough time in the past few weeks living with a mix of hating each other, hardcore crushing on each other, or both at the same time. That made reading each other’s emotions a bit easier. However, Jade currently couldn’t read him at all. Maybe that’s why she felt her stomach suddenly drop down to her feet. What the hell was going on?

“Um...sure,” she replied, still completely lost. She took a similar glance over her shoulder at the production crew busy with setting up before following him to a more secluded area. The crashing of waves in the distance acted as a soundtrack to muffle their conversation. “Laur, what...what exactly do you mean?” she asked, giving his hand a squeeze. She wasn’t sure if it was more to ground him or herself. “‘About what’s about to happen’, like, I...I’m not sure I understand.”

This moment should’ve been perfect. Every single proposal on previous Bachelor seasons seemed to be taken right out of fairy tales; the beautiful, flower-adorned gazebo set up, a breath taking view of the ocean, and the hope of love conquering all. It was those expectations that had Jade’s stomach knotting at full force. She couldn’t have ever imagined a world before this where Laurie getting down on one knee would do anything but make her laugh. Now? The concept was something she actually wished for. Jade actually saw a forever with him. For a smart girl, she did one incredibly stupid thing: fell in love with her sworn enemy, on national TV to top things off.

There was an extra shake in her step as her heels clicked down the stony path towards where Laurie was waiting. The hug and extra words of support from Helen DiMaggio, the hostess extraordinaire herself who’d been waiting outside as Jade’s limo pulled up, didn’t put her at any more ease. It was only when Jade spotted Laurie that she felt some sense of ease. She knew that this was the most cliched thing she’d ever have to do in her life, but in that moment, she didn’t care. All that mattered was her and Laurie. They’d come so far, and she felt that this next step was only the beginning of what they’d become. A smile perked up on her lips, gently lifting up the corner of her dress so it didn’t drag in sand before releasing it once she was close enough to take Laurie’s hands in hers. “Hey handsome,” she said, almost a bit breathless.@lauriecb

#c: laurie #cant wait to die xo

lauriecb:

“Christ, Jade, you didn’t have to make it dirty. I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff,” he teased her. He reached up to take a small piece of her hair between his thumb and his forefinger, and gave it a slight tug - not enough to hurt, just that she would feel it. “That’s a shame. I was picturing you as a weird little kid genius with a laboratory in the basement like Dexter.” He wasn’t sure how they got here. Somehow, between all the mud they had slung at each other, they had gotten to a place where he genuinely was enjoying her company. She was definitely more fun to be around than the rest of the girls on the show, and the realisation of that was surprising. Being surrounded by women was his dream come true, and yet somehow, he was most drawn to the person who kept him on his toes, who didn’t take any of his bullshit. Somehow, the kiss between them had shifted things, and though they still stood on uneven ground, he couldn’t help but be curious about where it was going.

“I’m fairly confident about my chances. I’m bigger than him,” he pointed out, flexing his bicep playfully. “even with those pinchers. I’m fairly sure my flip-flop could do him some serious damage, if I hit him with it hard enough.” It was weird how natural it felt to be so close to her, how easily all those little touches between them came to him. “You apologise? That must be a first.” There was nothing antagonistic in his voice, his tone as light and teasing as before. “Your apology is accepted though. I appreciate it.” As her hand slid up to his cheek, he shivered a little, his eyes finding hers and staring into them intently. “Careful, now. Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

Jade watched, her eyes following his finger as it tangled in the strand of her hair. She bit down on her bottom lip and felt her eyebrows raise. “Well, what you did just there?” she nodded towards his hair-grasping hand. “Slightly into that, but there could’ve been more...oomph to it, you know? I didn’t fully buy that tiny, gentle yank...but, uh, I don’t think that’s a topic we need to get into where film crew guys are standing a few feet away from us,” she teased. “You’re right with the weird part, definitely not genius. And Dexter? Really? That’s your best comparison? I expected more,” she shook her head. “I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what you were like as a kid, though. Probably just as much of a trouble maker as you are now.” For such an unnatural journey, the fact she could banter with him like they’d known each other for lifetimes mad it feel like the world had been flipped upside down in the most confusing and simultaneously best way.

Jade smirked but nodded as if she were fully impressed with his words. The flash of his muscles didn’t hurt, either. “Pretty sure that would be child abuse. Remind me to never buy you flip-flops, not around our poor, innocent crab baby. Besides, I kind of want to see if you have what it takes to rock a pair of Doc Martens.” She rolled her eyes, wondering if he was about to make her regret apologizing when the tone shifted. If she didn’t feel it from his reaction to her touch, she sure did with the eye contact. Every part of her froze, accompanied by a strange pang in her stomach. It wasn’t bad. It just felt like any butterflies had been stunned with a freeze gun. “Oh?” she responded as she quickly recovered, eyes searching his just as intently. That air of competition between them never truly left. Whatever he was up to, she wanted to be at least a few steps ahead. “Sounds like you had something specific in mind. Whatever it is, I think you know I’m fully capable of handling it.”

lauriecb:

“My sister was the imaginative one. I mostly just went along with it,” Laurie shrugged. “What were you like, as a kid? I’m picturing a little nerd in giant lab goggles. Definitely would have pulled your pigtails on the school bus,” he teased her. He didn’t know why he was letting himself get suckered in like this. If it wasn’t bad enough that the show was forcing them together at every turn, without him actually enjoying her company regardless. Laurie never admitted when he was wrong. He rarely had to - on the occasions where he had been, it wasn’t like anybody had ever called him out on it in the first place. Not before Jade. Maybe that was why she riled him up so much. Nobody had ever challenged him like this, and nobody had ever kept him on his toes like she could. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he had to be honest with himself. He had been wrong about her.

A sigh of relief escaped him when she took the crab back, and he wiped his hand off of his swim shorts to rid it of any crabby residue. “Are you kidding me? That beady eyed little fucker? I want a paternity test.” His eyes watched the thing as it made its grand exit, only flicking back to Jade once it was a safe distance away and the crew began wandering away from their positions for a break.

“Oh,” Laurie said, brow raising a little as her arms wrapped around him. That kind of easy affection was new - or at least, it was when everyone was watching. His hand found the small of her back, resting there gently. What the fuck was wrong with him? “I mean, I don’t mind eating crab. It’s just when they’re wandering around ready to pinch that we have problems. I’m going to be having nightmares for days now. Hope you’re happy.”

“Well that’s...kinky,” she made a face in response to the pig tails comment. “And you’re not entirely wrong. I was definitely a nerd, but no giant goggles, just a lot of paint and scissors and colouring books all over the place. High school was when I turned into the full blown science geek you see before you.” She knew that the questions were probably prompted from one of the producers. Why on Earth would Laurie genuinely care about what she was like as a kid? And yet, it stirred a feeling in her stomach, one she couldn’t quite put a finger on. The sense that there was some part of him that actually wanted to know her...it was one that she’d have to push away for now. She was thankful for the subject change, feeling her jaw drop in response to his sudden bluntness but chuckling.

“Be careful, that’s your adoptive son you’re shit talking. We don’t want him to go all Hamlet on you now,” she giggled, registering the weight of his hand against her back and finding it weird that she didn’t find it weird. When did they turn into this version of each other, and why didn’t she hate it? “Oh yes, that tiny baby crab could’ve done some serious damage with those pinchers.” She couldn’t help but smirk, still finding it fun to tease him, even if it was on the light-hearted side of things. “I didn’t mean to cause such massive trauma, I apologize.” She moved one arm from his waist, sliding her hand up his chest until it rested at his cheek. “What can I do to make it up to you, hmm?” she peered up at him with a raised brow.

lauriecb:

“I mean… it’s a sandcastle,” Laurie pointed out. “When I was a kid, they were always pretty disappointing. Just a big lump of sand with some seashells stuck to it. If I got the bucket off without it collapsing, it was a miracle. So you have one up on me.” His brows quirked when she mentioned his room, intrigue clear on his face. He hadn’t expected her to play along with his little quips, but Jade had a habit of doing the opposite of what he expected her to do. it was part of what drew him to her, and part of why she infuriated him so much.

“A little character?” He bit back a chuckle, clearing his throat to hide the slight laugh in his voice, though he wasn’t able to keep the dorky smile off of his face. It was so fucking stupid. Everything he said to her after their kiss was still true. They weren’t suited to one another. They would crash and burn, and he knew it, but he couldn’t help that she was just so much more interesting than the other girls, could he? That was the producers, not him. “Did you find a toy soldier buried in the sand or something?” When she revealed the crab, it was all Laurie could do not to jump backwards. It was disgustingly ugly, probably full of diseases from swimming around in an ocean full of fish piss or whatever. He had never been fond of creepy crawlies, and the thing in her hands was definitely creepy and crawly. His eyes narrowed as he watched it move around her hand, wondering how she could stand it. He was so engrossed in the crab that he almost missed what she said, only coming back to earth at the tale end of her sentence. “Huh? Oh. Yeah. Glad you’re waking up to my charms.” He didn’t feel particularly charming in the moment, recoiling from the crab in her hand, but it was a comment he knew the producers would edit out. It didn’t fit their narrative. “You don’t-” he protested as she moved the crab to his hand, but it was too late. It was on his hand, and it was every bit as disgusting as he thought it would be. “Terrific,” He forced a smile, slightly manically. “I mean, he didn’t exactly get my looks, but I guess so.”

“What? Aren’t you supposed to be super imaginative as a kid? Let me guess, you were just as broody as ever, even when building crappy sand castles,” she teased. She thought the teasing would just stay at that for the rest of the day, but then she caught his reaction to the tiny crab placed in his hand. Chemistry was more her thing, but she always had a soft spot for biology classes and learning about the worlds little creatures. It seemed that Laurie did not share that same view by any means. Her eyes widened, pressing her lips together to suppress the grin that threatened to creep up. “I don’t know, you both have soulful eyes,” she prompted, her teeth grazing across her bottom lip. Before he could do anything like toss the helpless little guy like a football into the water, she guided it back into her hand and let out a light giggle as its tiny legs moved across her palm. “There we go. Let’s let him explore,” she practically cooed, bending down to set it free and watching it scurry across the sand. She heard someone muttering cut, noticing that the crew seemed to have gotten enough for a few minutes or just wanted a break. Either way, she dusted off her hands and couldn’t hold back the smirk on her face.

“Oh my God,” she said softly, finding herself winding her arms around his waist. That was a move she’d usually kept just for when the cameras were rolling, but the closer they got to the end of filming, the more she seemed to forget. “You were literally seconds away from drop kicking poor baby LJ across the Pacific. Guess we’re not having seafood during the one on one dates, hmm?”

lauriecb:

When Laurie first found out he was going to be on the show, it was like a dream come true. For the first night, at least, it had been. But then he had kissed Jade, and everything had totally changed. Even as the competition had progressed, and he had been given the go-ahead to ditch her, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It didn’t change what he had said to her that night. They were just too different, to incompatible to ever make it work, but that didn’t stop him wanting her. More than wanting her. There were four other girls there vying for his attention, each of them way more suited to Laurie than Jade was, but as much as he tried to force himself, he had little to no interest in them. It was a fucking nightmare.

If this was the real world, he’d be keeping far away from her. When the cameras were off, he could, at least, settle into a polite distance. When they were on, though, it was an entirely different story. He didn’t have the choice of staying away, not with the producers taking every opportunity to push them together. They had called him over, under the pretence of checking his mic, and informed him that he had to go over to check on her next. He knew better than to argue it, so as soon as the cameras were rolling again, he did exactly as he was told, and made his way over.

In truth, Laurie couldn’t care less about sandcastles. Glancing down the line, though, it seemed that Jade’s was the best of a sorry lot. “Looks great,” he said, his smile only slightly forced. “Ready to move in, I’d say. Providing the interior design is up to scratch, I mean. How’s my room decorated?”

Jade scoffed lightly, thinking great was a bit of a euphemism. She wasn’t about to be the next Frank Gehry or anything. Still, the compliment was nice. “I mean, if you’re a drifter, maybe,” she remarked, noticing how one of the sides was slowly collapsing into a wet pile of broken up sand. At least the effort was there. “Sounds like somebody’s been watching too much HGTV,” she teased, giving him a light elbow in the side before raising an eyebrow in interest.

“Your room? See, that’s the best part,” she grinned, revealing she had some dorky plan in store. It was one of her own, not some bullshit the producers forced her into. Was it corny? Sure, but she didn’t care. She was tired of how inauthentic it all was. If she had one moment to be real Jade, she was going to take it. “Not only did I make yours lavish, but I actually have something even better than a room tour. I found a little character that really represents you in the Sandcastle Universe.” With that, she bent down to her creation and plucked a tiny hermit crab up to rest on her palm. “See? Meet Laurie Jr,” she said with a smirk. “Hermit because you’ve been stuck with all of us for like, a billon hours, and are probably missing the outside world, and crab because you’re a bit of a crab sometimes...but between you and me, I think it’s starting grow on me. Just a little, though. Don’t get too big of a head over it.” It was comments like that that showed the weird, tangled beginnings of them still being present, but they’d shifted into something...different. She wasn’t sure there was a proper label for it. “Here, hold out your hand.” She gently placed her open hand on top of his and watched with a grin as the crab crawled over to his. “How cute is that? LJ already recognizes daddy.”

Jade wasn’t sure how she’d made it to this point. It was her and four other girls left on the show, ones who she’d just had an extremely awkward group date with . The producers of the show had to be masochistic, considering what they got their entertainment from, which was apparently sand castle building this time around. She actually took it seriously, trying to get the structure just right and add little touches like shells and a moat while a few of the other girls sat on the beach and pouted or adjusted their bikinis to be a bit more showy when Laurie walked by. It was so stupid. She wasn’t sure what she hated more, the fact that they turned into brain dead Barbie’s around him or the fact that she was slowly becoming one of those Barbie’s herself. She wasn’t as obvious about it, but the feelings had grown. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was into him. Really into him.

She stood up, brushing the sand off her hands and planting them to her hips to observe her work. She glanced over when she felt the presence of someone beside her. “Architects don’t get enough credit,” she sighed, straightening up a little when she realized it was Laurie next to her and not one of the other girls. “Oh. Hey. Uh...tada! It’s done, I think. You’re probably the official judge of that, though. Get a good look, cause I’m sure a wave will come crashing through and knock it over any minute now.” @lauriecb

lauriecb‌:

Laurie raised his hands to his temples, rubbing at them in frustration. It wasn’t about lying to himself. It was about willing himself into feeling what it was in his best interest to feel. The kiss with Jade had been something special, but he would not speak that aloud. He was too proud, too stubborn, and he knew exactly where this little game ended up - in hurt, and trauma, and heartbreak. He didn’t want that. He wanted what he had gotten all of his life in every aspect of it. Something fun, easy, and successful. He didn’t see that with Jade. “Okay.” He dropped his arms, moving to look at her more fully. “Okay. Let’s not lie to ourselves, Jade.” His tone was a little gruff, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “You make me feel like shit about who I am. You diminish every accomplishment I have. My business, my personality… even the fact I’m on this show, which you are too, I might add, is not good enough for you. I don’t want to spend my life being belittled by you. If you think that I can’t stand you now. Imagine how bad it’ll get. Can you honestly tell me that you really want that?”

Jade’s lips twisted, forming into a straight line once she pressed them together. He wasn’t lying. He was actually making some very solid points. They didn’t override the fact that something had shifted, though. This time, instead of making a face or scoffing at his words, she actually listened and took them in. “And you don’t do the same to me? You fired me, Laurie, which is humiliating to begin with, and then you projected this evil bitch personality on me because I didn’t fall at your feet like the other girls or automatically think I had to respect you given our history. And you know what, if that makes me a horrible person, then maybe I am. I don’t know. But I also think...” she trailed off, now struggling to get the words out herself. “I think that we’ve had our blinders on around each other for a really long time. So long that we haven’t even considered an alternative. We’re both stubborn to the point that we refuse to let our guards down, except for when we kissed. Maybe that’s our real problem.” Her voice was a lot softer now. She didn’t say it out loud, but part of her was scared to see how he responded next. “How do we know if we’re not even willing to try? What if by some weird, fucking miracle, things ended up being great?” She shrugged lightly. “If you want to continue this hating each other thing, fine. I’ll play along for ratings and we’ll go back to this stupid game. I can’t pretend the kiss didn’t happen, though.”

lauriecb‌:

He had been preparing to leave, but something about her words stopped him in his tracks. He was a muddle inside, unsure what he felt, or what he was doing. That wasn’t the norm for Laurie. It was all getting a little bit too real for Laurie, who had ran away from anything real his entire life. He didn’t want to answer her, didn’t know how to if he tried, but neither could he move from the spot. Instead, he looked at her, his expression clearly one of a man who had no idea where to go from here. “What do you want me to say, Jade? It’s not over. it never began,” he reminded her. “One kiss doesn’t change the way that we see each other. It doesn’t change a damn thing.”

“No?” she asked. She wasn’t sure what she was dumbfounded by more, his answer or how she felt about that answer. She may have been acting stupid before, but she wasn’t stupid. Call it vain, but Jade knew she was smart. Smart enough to know that they’d both felt what happened there. Him pretending like it didn’t frustrated her to no end. She shook her head, walking over to where he stood. “Except it does, Laurie,” she stated, not moving from where she stood. They were only inches away again, and she couldn’t pretend like there wasn’t more than tension between them now. It may as well have been bouncing off the walls of the kitchen. “You can try and lie to yourself if you want. Hell, I’ll play along when the camera’s are rolling. But that one kiss? It changed everything. You know it did.” She reached up, about to touch him again before she caught herself. "Don’t tell me you didn’t feel something change between us back there, because we both know that’s not true.”

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