This blog is a home for the big girl who thought she was undesirable and that no one would ever love or want her // REQUESTS ARE CLOSED! // Masterlist //
Hello, my name is [redacted] and I will be posting some of my writing here. I have had a complicated relationship with writing, I used to have a tumblr blog (@jaehyunskitten22) where i wrote for various kpop groups but i found myself overwhelmed when i opened requests. Requests will not be a thing on this blog. Sending little blurbs or ideas that you have are fine, but do not expect me to write or expand upon them. I want this blog to be an outlet for me, a way for me to get my deepest desires off my chest. I might write for fandoms, or maybe even create stories with new characters.
Currently, some fandoms I am involved with are the pitt and star trek voyager. Everything on this blog will have a fat reader or main character in mind. I am a female so that is the gaze i write in, but i like writing from the male perspective as well.
As for my personal life, I am 26, queer, and single. thats all i feel comfortable sharing as of right now lol. I struggle a lot with mental health (depression mostly and problems with body image) so that might be a theme in some of my writings.
Fat is not a bad word on this blog. I use fat, chubby, and plus size interchangeably. I am not the slim-thick curvy. I am fat. Big stomach, jiggly bits everywhere (but no ass sigh) That type of fat doesn't get enough representation in my opinion.
this is an 18+ only blog, I write using adult themes and language and I am not the one to learn about sex from, kids. Run along. Go make a tiktok or whatever kids do nowadays lol.
thats all for now. Blog is under construction as of right now.
Imagine having a rough day at work and Wonho wants to help make you feel better 🥺
Like your feet and back hurt so he gives you a massage and it obviously feels good so youre making these cute little noises and he loves your cute little noises and he tries to ignore how each noise goes straight to his cock (because this is about you and your bad day after all) but soon enough little baby is rutting his cock into the back of your plush thighs and whimpering along with you. He feels so bad because poor bunny was just trying to help but he cant help how your noises and body makes him feel 🥺 and your skin feels so good against his hands and you smell so pretty and its like he’s surrounded by you and soon enough everything becomes too much for him and he cums in his pajama pants, whimpering into the crook of your neck
(Poly!) Wonho x Changkyun x Chubby!Reader - Two’s a Party… Prequel (Changkyun x Chubby!Reader Smut)
prequel // part one // part two //
Summary: If you were wondering what exactly happened to make Y/N pull away from Changkyun, wonder no more because this is why. Hint: It wasn’t just because he got a boyfriend
AKA: You’ve never had an orgasm and he decides to change that. He has a dirty mouth, but are we even surprised (no).
A/N- I apologize for this going up late. “Finishing touches” turned into me reworking the whole thing, and i got a little carried away. I hope you guys enjoy!
I dont want to make false promises about coming back bUT if i were to maybe finish the wonho/changkyun/you fic, how many would want to read it? Im not sure if any of you guys are still invested in it or not but i have found myself wanting to finish it lately
I want to start this off with this: i’m not trying to sound bitchy, i just don’t know how to sound happier rn lol its my seasonal depression. I’m very sorry if it comes off that way bc its not my intention 💖
Hi long time no post but if this is referring to what lucas said about kun, i dont think thats fatphobia. fatphobia is saying you hate fat people, just like homophobia is saying you hate gay people. What lucas said was most definitely uncalled for yes, but it wasn’t fatphobia. Lucas very well could be fatphobic, i have no idea, but calling someone fat is not an act of fatphobia.
Fatphobia is a dr refusing to run tests on an individual bc the individual is fat and the dr believes that that is the only possible explanation to symptoms. Fatphobia is refusing to be around someone solely bc they are fat. Calling someone fat or saying they are on the heavier side is not fatphobia.
I would constitute what lucas said as bullying, for sure. And lucas very well could be fatphobic, but what he said to kun alone is not enough (in my mind) to be considered fatphobic.
Also, cultural context is extremely important here. Whether we like it or not, it is entirely possible that a lot of idols have biases and prejudices against fat people because that is how korea, china, and japan are. Hell, thats how the world is.
This is extremely important, and its something i’ve had on my mind for a while. Do not base your worth on whether or not your bias finds your body type attractive. Do not base your worth in being your bias’s ideal type. Do not get hung up on these people’s exact feelings towards fat people. At the end of the day, it does not matter. It sucks, yes. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you respect yourself independent of what other people’s attitudes towards you or your body are.
I didn’t see the video, just screenshots, and its completely possible that you are referring to something else. If thats the case, please let me know. I’m also not trying to be bitchy (lately i’ve been sounding bitchy a lot and its bc of seasonal depression i dont know how to sound happy rn lol) i just dont like the term fatphobic to be thrown around, bc meanings get twisted and misconstrued. Also i think i had such a strong reaction to this message because i’m afraid that people are going to get really depressed about this and feel really bad about themselves over what, at the end of the day, is what a stranger in another country said about his bandmate’s body.
I love you all, every single one of you is great, no matter what people think about your body 💖
Cutie i’ll be 21 in 2018. I never had someone in my life seriously and it’s scaring me the idea of being alone. And it doesn’t help seeing everyone with a partner. A lot of people around me are saying that i’m “alone” because i’m chubby.. and I’m going crazy because it’s really only a question of weight? Like this make me really really sad..
Don’t worry about that cutie <3 you aren’t going to be alone. a lot of people don’t start seriously dating until their late 20s and there really is no set timeline for finding love and dating. It will happen when it happens. This isn’t because of your weight ok thats a load of garbage. I don’t think any 21 year old that i’ve met has their life together in any way shape or form. Everyone is still growing and changing and trying to figure everything out. I know that it makes you sad (it makes me sad too) but its gonna be okay. these things take time
Hi lol im scrolling through my blog and i feel like i should have had a longer response to this so tumblr must have glitched or something bUT here are my thoughts on this (like 2 yrs later l o l):
Let me first start off with me saying that i wrote this from the POV of a cisgender women, in no way am i trying to erase the existence of trans women or non-binary people. This was simply random word vomit about my opinions on this coming out of my brain
I feel like this kind of idea (like being a certain age and having yet to date someone is bad) is an old-fashioned idea coming from a time where women weren’t encouraged to (and were prevented from) pursuing their own lives and interests outside of the home. Women were married at 19/20/21 whatever years old because what else were they supposed to do? Like (depending on what time period you look at) women weren’t allowed to go to school or work outside the home, so there isn’t much else for them to do. They were expected to be a homemaker and create babies with men who saw women as subordinate to them. They wanted women to be silent (like treatment for depression was literaly training a women to shut up and smile) (i dont even think they called it depression i feel like they might have called it insanity or smth)
Now women work outside the home, go to school, run their own businesses etc... and most women have decided to put off marriage and kids and focus on themselves first (either life path is bomb im not trying to demonise women who graduate hs and then immediately get married if it makes you happy do it)
Also in general: have you guys ever thought about how long humans live? Like if we were to live to be 80 years old lets say, up to age 20 would only be 1/4 of that. And we have no life experience. We have literally been in school since we were 4 or 5. Its so dumb that society has placed this kind of pressure on us. We shouldn’t feel like a failure if we’re not married by 25. We’re just getting started. There is no universal timeline that everyone must follow.
You also aren’t alone bc you’re chubby. Thats a load of garbage. You’re alone bc you haven’t met the right person yet. From my perspective: if you like men, dating men that are in their early 20’s is just a bad idea. In most cases theyre literally children who have absolutely no idea on how to regulate their emotions or to take care of themselves. But for people in their early 20’s in general: we literaly have no idea what we’re doig with ourselves yet. Our lives are not over once we hit 30 years old. Like my mom was 42 when she had my sister and i. Trust me, you have time.
Life is too short to go through it worrying about romantic relationships. There is so much more to experience and do 💖
Representation is important. I see beautiful women everywhere, no matter what size they are. But I still can't stop feeling ugly most of the time. I see stylish big women and I think they look amazing, but I can only buy plain basic clothes, because I feel like any type of attention towards myself would be bad attention. Like I would look stupid if I tried to be fashionable, because that's not for me. Even when people tell me I'm pretty, I cannot believe them. So, I know the feeling exactly :(
I think it has to do with the media we consume. Like we can look at “regular” people and thing theyre beautiful, no matter their size. But on the inside we’re holding ourselves to society’s standard of beauty, which is what we see in movies and on TV. We hold ourselves to a different standard than we hold other people.
You’ll never believe other people when they tell you you’re pretty until you believe it yourself. Its a lot like love, in a way. You wont believe that someone loves you until you decide for yourself that you are someone who is worth loving. You sound like you have a self worth issue, as you consider yourself lower than other people, even if they look like you. You have to teach yourself that you are no less than others. You’re worth it, but you have to believe that in your heart. If you don’t believe something you tell yourself, why would you believe someone else when they say the same thing? You have to take the first step and teach yourself to believe these things independent of what other’s think. Someone can tell you that youre beautiful until theyre blue in the face, but you’re never going to believe them until you believe in your heart that you are capable of being beautiful.
Honey, take all the time you need, not that you need permission this is your blog. But I completely understand where you are coming from I've actually been feeling the same way. I hope you feel a little better, soon!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Tbh i think we all feel awful because we’ve been locked inside with nothing to do other than scroll through instagram and compare ourselves to other people 😂😅
I hope you feel better too, lovely 🥺💖🥰
Anonymous said:
It’s okay! Do what you gotta do, don’t pressure yourself ☺️
OMG YOU’RE BACK!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU HAVE NO IDEA I LITERALLY CHECKED YOUR ACCOUNT ALMOST EVERY DAY TO SEE IF YOU’D POSTED! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOUR POSTS AGIN THEY ARE SOME OF MY FAVOURITE YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE BLOGS ILY AND WELCOME BACK💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
This is so sweet i cry 🥺💖 thank you for your sweet words. I’m sorry that i havent been posting lately 💖 i love you too 💖🥰☺️😚
I completely understand everything that you're going through because I myself am experiencing that as well, and I'm so so so so happy for Adele as long as she's happy but her losing weight and everyone's reactions are kind of triggering to me....? Like I love that she's living her best life now but so many people are like 'omg she looks so much better now' and I can't help but think that everyone hates fat people but doesn't say anything?? It makes me kinda sad honestly
*TW: discussions of weightloss/drastic weightloss*
I think its important for us to make the distinction to ourselves that adele losing weight is not the problem. The problem is how people reacted to it. (I’m not saying that you specifically believe her weight loss was the issue, as a whole i’ve just noticed people lump it all together like that)
Society likes to tell us that weightloss is a success story. That if youre fat you should spend your whole life trying to get skinny. That you don’t mean anything or you’re not worthy until you lose weight. Its not true. You (and adele) are so much more than a before and after picture. One is not suddenly better for losing weight. They just lost weight, and thats hard and im so proud of anyone that can do it, but at the end of the day its just weight. I’m not saying that one shouldnt be proud of themselves. What im saying is that its not about weight. Weight isnt important. Health is important.
As for the “she looks so much better now comments”, i know exactly what you mean. When people say that, they are implying that one cant be fat and look good. You have to lose weight first. And i hate that mentality
Its also important for us to get rid of the idea in our mind that skinny=healthy or skinny=happy, because it doesn’t. Even i sometimes find myself thinking those thoughts, and theyre almost impossible to get rid of because i have been taught that my whole life, but its not true. Happiness and health depend on so much more than weight.
We don’t know what people are actually going through behind closed doors. For example, one of the girls i went to high school with (beautiful, smart, sweet girl) randomly dropped a lot of weight. She was not overweight before hand. She was actually probably more average than anything. No one had ever really said anything about her weight before. But after she lost all that weight people said that she “looked so good now” or that she was so thin now, as if it was a good thing. Wanna know why she dropped all of that weight? She was really sick. It wasnt intentional at all. Does she look good after all of that weightloss? Yes. But did she look good before? Also yes.
People 100% hate fat people. Like theres no doubt in my mind. But most of them cover it up with “being concerned about health” which is a load of garbage. Does being overweight commonly cause health issues down the road? Yes, studies have proven that. But so does drinking. And smoking. And drug use. But you don’t see comments from people who are “concerned about health” underneath pictures of all of that. They don’t care about health. They care about shaming people into matching societies standard of beauty.
Are fat people just as capable of being beautiful as the next person? Yes. Are fat people capable of being healthy too? Yes. But it should not matter. You do not have to be beautiful or healthy in order to be deserving of respect and kindness. You are a human being. And that is enough. Humans deserve respect, full stop. Appearance has nothing to do with it. Always keep that in mind.
I hope it didnt seem like i was going off on you, because that wasn’t my intention and if it did feel like that i apologize. I just have a lot of feelings about society and fatness and i got carried away. I love you and i hope you know that you are worthy of respect and decency, no matter what 🥺💖
If you're feeling down, I'm here to tell you that I've literally reread the I.M. x reader fic so much that I practically know it by heart lol I love it so much ❤️❤️❤️
This is so sweet and wholesome thank you so much 🥺💖 i appreciate you 💖😚
Truthfully, I’m not doing so well right now. I’m not feeling the greatest about my body and how it looks right now and I just cant bring myself to write right now. In the past I would have simply just kept this to myself, but I think we can all probably relate so I wanted to talk about it
I know its dumb, but I’ve been comparing myself to the previous partners that these celebrities have dated and I’ve realized that none of them look like me. Like i knew that none of them had ever dated someone plus size but it feels a lot different when you actually look at all of them and see that they all have the same things in common; tall, beautiful, and thin. I don’t look like them. No one in Hollywood or in the media looks like me. And if they do its rebel wilson or melissa mccarthy or someone similar (I think they’re beautiful, but they’re not being marketed that way. they’re being marketed as the funny sarcastic people in hollywood)
I know that this is stupid. Like i’m well aware that I shouldnt be basing my worth off of people in the media. But it sucks when you have no one that looks like you to look up to, yknow? Like thin people have Scarlett Johanson or Elizabeth Olsen etc etc and while they may not look like them, at least they have similar body types you get me? Like there are no plus size women/people in hollywood who are seen as beautiful or sexy and it sucks.
I just wanted you guys to know that if you ever feel this way, you’re not alone. And I promise that youre beautiful and sexy regardless of what you see in hollywood, but i also do understand how much it still sucks and hurts to not see anyone like you.
Truthfully, I’m not doing so well right now. I’m not feeling the greatest about my body and how it looks right now and I just cant bring myself to write right now. In the past I would have simply just kept this to myself, but I think we can all probably relate so I wanted to talk about it
I know its dumb, but I’ve been comparing myself to the previous partners that these celebrities have dated and I’ve realized that none of them look like me. Like i knew that none of them had ever dated someone plus size but it feels a lot different when you actually look at all of them and see that they all have the same things in common; tall, beautiful, and thin. I don’t look like them. No one in Hollywood or in the media looks like me. And if they do its rebel wilson or melissa mccarthy or someone similar (I think they’re beautiful, but they’re not being marketed that way. they’re being marketed as the funny sarcastic people in hollywood)
I know that this is stupid. Like i’m well aware that I shouldnt be basing my worth off of people in the media. But it sucks when you have no one that looks like you to look up to, yknow? Like thin people have Scarlett Johanson or Elizabeth Olsen etc etc and while they may not look like them, at least they have similar body types you get me? Like there are no plus size women/people in hollywood who are seen as beautiful or sexy and it sucks.
I just wanted you guys to know that if you ever feel this way, you’re not alone. And I promise that youre beautiful and sexy regardless of what you see in hollywood, but i also do understand how much it still sucks and hurts to not see anyone like you.
The Fat/Plus Size Friendly Community’s Relationship with Weight loss
I know this blog isn’t really meant for stuff like this, but i feel like it kinda fits considering this is a fat/plus size/chubby/whatever friendly blog.
This was inspired by the dramatic weight loss Adele had after divorcing her husband.
You have people who are praising her weight loss, other people who are getting mad at the people praising her for her weight loss, a group of people who are concerned for Adele’s health, and probably other groups but these are the main ones.
First off, I’m going to be completely honest here: I’m in the first group. No, not because I think she’s so much prettier now, or because she’s thin. Its because I think she looks so much happier now (I say looks because we don’t really know how she’s feeling, pictures lie, etc etc... I acknowledge that I could be wrong here).
Whether we like it or not, some people just aren’t going to love their bodies at their current states. That does not mean that they don’t love themselves. That doesn’t mean that they absolutely despise their bodies. that just means that they don’t like their bodies and they would like to change them. There is nothing wrong with that (as long as it is done for them and not for others and it is done in a healthy way).
Self-love looks different for everyone. If you love your body for what it is and you don’t want to change it, good for you! (that sounds sarcastic to me but I promise its not supposed to). For some, self-love looks like weight loss and exercise and good for them too! Self-love isn’t about loving your body. Its about loving yourself
I don’t like how my body looks right now and lately I feel like I have been interpreting that as me saying that I don’t love myself, but thats not true. I respect my body for the things that it can do. My body is strong, it has carried me through some of the worst pain i have ever experienced. My body can dance, it can paint, it can hug, it can show love, and so many other things. I appreciate my body, and me wanting to change it doesn’t undo all of the work I have done in the past years to develop my self love and self acceptance. It just means I want to change how it looks.
Losing weight is hard yall. Being healthy is hard. So if someone manages to do it I’m going to be excited. I’m going to congratulate them and hype them up. I’m going to congratulate them for achieving their goal body (as long as its healthy). Just like I would congratulate someone for gaining weight if they had been having trouble doing that. Because gaining weight is hard for some people too. I am not wrong for being excited for them. I’m not wrong for telling them that they look good. Me telling them they look good does not immediately mean that I am saying anyone who doesn’t look like them looks bad. one body is completely independent from another. In my opinion, people always look good, but sometimes it feels good to have your hard work recognized.i”m not bad for doing that and neither are you!
Now obviously there are people who are going to be dicks and say shit like “oh you look so much better now!” “You looked so bad before!” blah blah blah and thats wrong and fuck them for that, but thats not what im seeing a lot of people do.
I feel like in the plus size positive community people tend to view people as losing weight or wanting to lose weight as a betrayal to the plus size positive community but its not! It’s just a thing that people do for themselves and thats wicked cool dog!
An iconic plus size figure is not obligated to stay plus size simply because they are good representation. We’re human first, individuals first. Activism or being a representative does not have to be your first priority. Your allowed to take those hats off and just vibe.
Sorry if this makes no sense. I have a lot of stuff on my mind and honestly im not doing well right now. I just wanted to get this out of my head. feel free to message me with your opinions!
hey there! i enjoy your writing so i came to check out what else you'd written and saw your little update -- i just wanted to say that i hope you're doing alright and not being too hard on yourself! it seems like you're doing the best you can and that's all anyone can ask for 💖
I’m doing okay lovely <3 thank you for asking. i truly appreciate it <3
Sorry to hear about you and your partner. I hope you're doing ok! If you feel like it, how would Johnny, Taeyong, and Jaehyun (or anyone else you want to write about) react to you spilling food into your (very large) cleavage? Thanks and take care of yourself!
I’m doing okay love bug <3
Johnny: Tbh part of me feels like he woiuldn’t even notice lol. he seems like the type to go all in on food (me too tbh) and i think he would focus on eating quite a bit. HOWEVER, if it wasn’t a meal and it was just snacking or something like that I 100% feel like he would tease you about it. It would be kind of teenage boy immature teasing but in a very charming way. Like the kind of teasing that would make you roll your eyes and hit him on the arm but you would blush and smile regardless lol
Taeyong: I’m kind of torn because on one hand i feel like he wouldn’t notice at all, like no matter what. i feel like when he’s dating someone he’s very much in lovesick puppy mode and i feel like he would be so focused on you that he wouldn’t pay that close of attention to something like that. if he does notice it (or if you reach down your shirt and casually get the food out) he would try to pretend to not notice it. I think he would feel kind of pervy if he was caught looking at your chest and he would feel bad about it just because he’s so shy
Jaehyun: He would for sure 100% notice lol. Honestly I feel like he’s the kind of guy that watches his girlfriend really closely in like a dominant kind of way if that makes sense? like what comes to mind is the way some predators circle/stalk their prey before they pounce on them lol. I feel like he is 100% always looking for an excuse to make you shy and blushy because he’s just that kind of dominant. so in order to do that he would comment on it (like call you his messy girl or something like that gAH) and he would tease you about it
