OKCupid in NYC

I'm 34, female, smart, cynical, and picky. This is a snapshot of sorts, of my experience on OKCupid. Adventures of all kinds in one hundred forty characters or fewer @jmrosler

[jamiedates]

Credit where credit is due. At least he went away after my response instead of trying to defend himself. 

[jamiedates]

First message at midnight. Second message at 1:30 AM. 

He’s in Fort Lauderdale, but maybe I was visiting my  parents in South Florida at the time. It’s not impossible.

Word of advice, gents. Don’t open your message with a phrase that basically says, I’m about to say something so deep and smart that you might not even understand it, you feeble-minded woman. I promise, or I’d bet, that you’re not smarter than I am. Though he’s right about one thing. I am rad.

Also, if you read my shit thoroughly, even at all, you’d get that “The Gods” will not sway me, and that signing with your initials is far less preferable to using your name.

[jamiedates]

Ugh. Ugh!

That whole time, no name. Introduce yourself you fucking cretin!

Also, I would love to meet the woman who has 500,000 messages in her inbox.

[jamiedates]

Not the worst opening message by far, but as my immediate response points out, there were too many profile-based deal breakers for me to give him an initial chance.

It seems that his jump to accusations of hatred on my part, and of me being “such a miserable person,” do their part to confirm my instinct.

By the time I screenshot this exchange he’d disabled his account, so I’m guessing his time on the site didn’t go quite as planned. Or maybe it went perfectly! Anyway, he was gone from the pool, and that’s a good thing.

[jamiedates]

He’s 51 (which is out of my stated range preference) and has the word boy in his user name.

He spells my name wrong, and it’s literally in my user name.

He opens a parentheses and doesn’t close it.

He admits to giving up on an interest in knowledge because he’s given in to the culture of anti-intellectualism.

Where is this message supposed to entice me, exactly?

[jamiedates]

Pretentious ass. No hello, no name, and he spends his first two sentences condescending to explain why he’s messaging someone who’s-- otherwise beneath him? Is he academically or intellectually negging me? With an awkwardly tossed in compliment before the footnotes.

Speaking of which, that final footnote. There’s no way he honestly thinks that I get messages “all the time” with that reference, or that he’s making an obvious joke. In an effort to be impressive, he comes off poorly instead.

[jamiedates]

I don’t understand so very much about this message.

[jamiedates]

The amazing part is how little self-awareness these guys have. Or maybe they are true sociopaths with zero empathy. Ugh, I hope this one’s still single.

[jamiedates]

I don’t owe you dick, dick. Especially if you can’t even address me by name.

[jamiedates]

This is one of those, In retrospect, maybe I was too quick to say no, but if I’m not feeling it, why force it. 

[jamiedates]

I make my decisions and I stand by them.

There is so much ego in his opening message(s). His opening sentences! And you can’t see it because he disabled his profile before I screenshot it, but I don’t think we had a particularly high match.

[jamiedates]

Way to keep a positive mental attitude, bro!

His username is way2amazing. I just want to point that out.

[jamiedates]

Mediocre? Unexciting. Emoticon shoved in mid-message before a period, and ends the message with “holla.” Presumably the profile didn’t tickle me, either.

[jamiedates]

This is fine, as far as OkC messages go, but what do I do with a guy in France, if I live in NY? Anyway, it’s always nice to be fawned over for a few sentences, so there’s that.

[jamiedates]

Sharing a piece of my profile, though this section has long since been updated and these bits removed in favor of other bits. Don’t worry though - all the info is still represented somehow in other sections.

[jamiedates]

Weird glitch in the OKCupid matrix.

[jamiedates]

For someone who started with such little to say, he certainly felt the need to explain himself a lot. He makes a lot of excuses but it all seems to come down to a fear of rejection. Poor guy. He doesn’t understand how any of this is supposed to work.

For anyone who’s paying attention, telling a woman she “seems angry” because you don’t like what she has to say is not the way to win her over.