Spanking except for: I approach my dom with my head down holding my round wooden paddle and I am nearly shaking in anticipation. I raise my eyes to theirs and quietly tell them ive been naughty, that I need to be hurt real bad to make up for it. I hand over the paddle. They ask what I’ve done, and I tell them with tears in my eyes how I’d been mean to my friend, how I didn’t mean to, how it got out of hand and I didn’t apologize when I should have, and my dom nods, setting my paddle down and pulling me into a big, secure hug. They hush me and pet me and hold me, telling me to cry, telling me it will be okay and I didn’t ruin everything, of course I didn’t, and they let me wrap my fists into their shirt and breathe on their neck, and they wait until I pull away first to sit down and gently bring me to sit next to them. they ask first if I want the spanking, and I put my hands over my face and say yes, they ask how I feel, what my color is, why I really need a punishment, because it isn’t for being mean when I already punished myself enough for it. I say I don’t know, I just want to hurt a good little, I need to move through it. They understand. They tell me to stand and strip, slowly.
I strip naked and stand in front of them, fully clothed, as they beckon me to lay across their lap this time. I brace myself with my arms crossed. Their warm hand massages each side of my ass, as they speak, “This is just a warm up, okay? How do you feel?”
“Good,” I whisper, even if the tears never fully left my eyes.
The first time their palm connects I gasp, eyes shutting, my whole body rigid. They massage me again, rubbing circles, before their hand strikes again, on the other cheek. I breathe in and out slow, these hits are lighter than the paddle will be, I know it, but the tiny sting spreads through my whole body. The hits continue, growing faster and only slightly harsher.
After my ass is set a light pink and I can feel it, my dom finally, finally picks up my paddle and pets my hair. “I am giving you this punishment not for how you treated your friend, but how you treated yourself. You deserve kindness as much as anyone else, and your actions today do not reflect that. In the future, you will forgive yourself of small things before they build up into situations like this. Do you understand? Repeat it back to me, please.”
Breathlessly, I try to find my words. “I’m being punished for bottling up my feelings. I’ll work to be kinder to myself and express my emotions freely.”
“Good, baby boy. Now, I think 20 strikes. Hm?”
I thank them profusely, relaxing into their lap like sinking into a bath, and their hand trails down my body, and they guide me with a hand at the small of my back into position on the couch, and I brace myself with my arms crossed.
My dom raises the paddle, I can almost feel it rising, and the first connection sends electric across my lower half. Without even thinking I count “one, thank you.”
By the second hit, my eyes are hooded, my chin is tucked into my arms. I am tending and relaxing so fast my dom has to tell me to stop, I’ll hurt myself. The way the wood snaps at my tender flesh is too much. I wonder if I’ll have bruises and shudder through the third strike.
By the fifth I’m drooling. By the eighth the sting has hit me full force, actually hurting now. I hold my arms tighter and barely squeeze out a thank you after counting. My dom hums appreciatively. At ten I let out what could be called a wail as they come down particularly hard, I writhe and they hook a leg over both mine and smack me once more, just as hard. I yell, “eleven!” but the next doesn’t fall until I catch my breathe and say “thank, thank you, please” At twelve I realize I have so many more, and let out my first sob. Again, my dom stops, begins to rub my burning ass, and says “thats good, baby, cry for me, let it out. Are you ready now?”
I shuffle in their hold, nodding desperately, whimpering out “yes, please, yes, please” as my arms splay in front of me grappling for purchase on the couch, my face buried into the seat. My paddle falls again and I sob my thanks.
Each hit burns me, every part of it, the waiting, the landing, and i gasp in the moment the paddle pulls away right after connecting, when the burning sting is fully realized and I’m completely submerged in floating, overwhelming pain.
I count twenty before I even realize it and wait for the next hit before remembering I am done now, I did it. My dom praises my instantly, offering me gentle touches from my ass up my back and then down again. I am less than a puddle in their lap, boneless and heavy and smiling dazedly with tears drying on my face.
When my eyes are just beginning to fall closed, they ask me, “How did that feel, baby boy? Are you okay?”
I let out a noise between a moan and a laugh and ramble on, “Good, so good. I feel so good. Amazing. Thank you, thank you-“ as my focus falls to the warmth on the skin of my ass and the warmth of their body on mine.
They pet me gently, muttering praise that makes my insides flip and settle simultaneously, even if I do not fully comprehend. They let me float. I am breathing deep, barely aware of myself outside the burn layered across my body, the so good hurt, the core-deep tenderness. I breathe out similar praise back to my dom, muttering their words back to them as I come slowly back to myself.
