Alter the Ending

I love writing--its my catharsis. I love John--my guitar ;). I love music. I love composing. I love life. Iam a Biophilus. Im your modern princess

[jamiesy-blog]

Love means never having to say you're sorry... but sorry that's not my favorite line in the hit movie "Love story" .

Finally! after years hearing it was a good movie, I gave it a try. I mean I watched it. ;)

Here's my Favorite line/script from the movie:

Jen: It doesn't hurt, Ollie. It's like falling off a cliff in slow motion. Only after a while you wish you'd hit the ground already, you know?

Ollie: Yeah.

Jen: Bullshit. You've never fallen off a cliff.

Ollie: Yes, I did. When I met you.

AND THAT IS CLASSIC! A CLASSIC PICK UP LINE only though it's being said to a dying wife

Here's another one I like:

Ollie: You look lovely, Jenny. 

Jen: Bullshit.

Ollie: OK, you look terrible. 

- No, I never look terrible.

- I look OK for Thursday evening, OK?

- There's no poetry in "OK".

-Screw poetry. Just tell me what you see.

- I see you.

- That's poetry.

[jamiesy-blog]

Just a number

 Age is just a number....

 ika nga nila....

Well I just can't escape the fact that I'm turning 18 (ahem) a week from now. Believe me, i haven't really noticed that its already the last week of Sept until someone reminded me about my birthday.  

When you're not in your teens anymore, you're not as excited to be reminded of your bday as when you were younger. Or it's just me? hihihi

The thing about growing up?... I'm not sure, but sometimes I still don't feel like im in my 20's already... I guess I want to be forever 18.

Truth is, everything I wrote above is just an introduction. hahaha I know, forgive me, it is lousy. 

What I really want to write here is about maturity. but not bad!!~~~ there's a positive correlation between age and maturity. 

So let me get straight to the point! 

I guess its been a while since Ive really worn my heels and turned heads.  You see, everybody loves attention, everybody loves compliments, everybody wants to be the crowd favorite, everybody wants to be the most admired. but the problem is, there will always be someone younger than you are, sexier than you are, smarter than you are, prettier than you are. You might had your gold crowns before but SOMEDAY, someone will took them away from you.

And that where maturity comes in....

Maturity is when you can accept the fact that you will not always be the most loved and the most adored. And the spotlight will not always be yours. 

I guess that's what it means to be in your 20's hihihi. You learn things... You mature. You AGED and that is FINE :)

[jamiesy-blog]

Not too normal....

"The only normal people are the one's you don't know very well"  - Aldred Adler 

I guess its really.. really... true.. 

Have you ever been disappointed to find outthat the person you admire has a lot of flaws?. I've been. several times :)))

Basing on their Credibility and position it's hard to believe that THOSE people experience emotional break down (in fact too much break down) and narcotic reactions. haha! Well, i dont mean to Judge.. I too have lots of flaws.. in fact a lot of it haha.. but sometimes I wonder, are these people EVEN aware of their own issues?. I do admit my flaws and i believe that's better than denying haha.. Awareness is always the first step towards change :P

oh well...

So the next time you think someone is perfect and flawless and SO NORMAL! Remember that

..."Everyone has their own demon" :P

[jamiesy-blog]

You justify my existence; If I did not know you, I have not lived; If I die without knowing you, I do not die, because I have not lived.

Luis Cernuda 

[jamiesy-blog]

When we say we’re in love, what does it mean? Could it be that this complex, dazzling, transformative feeling, is just an illusion? …A trick played on us by nature just to make us [procreate]. We imagine that love is meaningful, but could it in fact be meaningless?

[jamiesy-blog]

I like you to be still

One incident today reminds me of this poem.. THIS WAS IT EXACTLY!!"i like you to be still"--- Pablo Neruda

I like you to be still because it is as though you are absent, and you hear me from the distance, and my voice does not touch you. It seems as though your eyes had flown away and as if a kiss had sealed your mouth. As all things are filled with my soul you emerge from the things, filled with that soul of mine. Dream butterfly, you resemble my soul, and you resemble the word melancholy. I like you to be still because you are like distant. And it is as though you are lamenting, cooing butterfly. And you hear me from the distance, and my voice does not reach you: let me come to be still in that silence of yours. Let me also talk to you with your silence bright as a lamp, simple as a ring You are like the night, quiet and constellated Your silence is that of a star, so remote and simple I like you to be still because it is as though you are absent Distant and painful, as if you had died One word then, one smile are enough And I'm happy, happy that it's not true

[shouldn-t]

[jamiesy-blog]

soooo cuuuuute <3 kagigil!!

[jamiesy-blog]

I think that most people who see the world with a degree of clarity would agree that no person fully understands everything. The world is just too complex. In every situation, there are so many contributing factors and so many people who will be affected in so many unknown ways (and then go on to affect others in even more unknown ways) . . . that there’s no way we can accurately and completely describe the implications of even a single event. Since from our individual vantage points, we can’t comprehend the “absolute truth,” that means that how an event affects us is all a matter of perspective.

The Albert Ellis Institute

[jamiesy-blog]

My heart, so precious, I won’t trade for a hundred thousand souls, yet your one smile takes it for free

-Rumi

[jamiesy-blog]

On Poetry

Im a fan of poetry.. both writing and reading.. Well On reading not exactly poetry.. I just love Neruda, Cummings and Rumi... 

Im a fan of LOVE! need i say more?! And through poetry I could express myself pretty well (yes, pretty well!). In poetry Im allowed to say the cheesiest and ickiest things! Things I don't usually say.. and Why am I like this? well there are only two reasons Why Im reading/writing a poem.. it's either Im heartbroken or Im in a state of euphoria. Though I prefer to feel the latter, in my opinion, best poems ever written are the sad ones. 

------------------------------------

"I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long. Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms  my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her. Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her. " - Pablo Neruda

[jamiesy-blog]

Narrow minds devoid of imagination. Intolerance, theories cut off from reality, empty terminology, usurped ideals, inflexible systems. Those are the things that really frighten me. What I absolutely fear and loathe. Of course it’s important to know what’s right and what’s wrong. Individual errors in judgment can usually be corrected. As long as you have the courage to admit mistakes, things can be turned around. But intolerant, narrow minds with no imagination are like parasites that transform the host, change form, and continue to thrive. They’re a lost cause, and I don’t want anyone like that coming in here.”

 Kafka on the Shore

[jamiesy-blog]

When I am with you, we stay up all night. When you’re not here, I can’t get to sleep. Praise God for these two insomnias! And the difference between them.”

Rumi

[jamiesy-blog]

Someone like you

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

A line from one of Adele's hits "Someone like you".

There's this bittersweet feeling when I get to see failed/Ending relationships... probably because I know how painful it is, how frustrating it is... and how amazing it feels when you have finally found light again. 

I too have experienced a lot of heartbreaks.. crying spells and wishful thinking.. a lot of it.. days, months when I was holding on to nothing. And looking back it makes me smile (no sarcasm intended) cause i was able to survive such terrible terrible but life changing experience. 

I thought that I could never love someone else... I thought he's the only guy for me.. Funny it is... that now, I don't even have a small DESIRE for the person anymore.. THAT those thoughts and feelings just disappeared. 

True that time heals wounds.. time also erases those feelings you once had. time erases the face of that person you used to want to see everyday.. time erases all the promises the two of you once shared... but the best of all... Time brings you the person who will make your heart beat once again, your eyes smile again...will make you sing the happiest songs ever composed and will make you recite the best love poems ever written... It will make you love again.

OHA!!! cheesy! hahahaa 

all i want to say is.. It's all worth it. 

[jamiesy-blog]

Sometimes our work feels small and insignificant. But remember, a small ripple can gain momentum...and build a current that is insurmountable.

[jamiesy-blog]

Learning

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. Henry Ford 

I guess I have all the things I want from life (or should I say most)... but there's something I always do enjoy... something I never get tired of.. "LEARNING" I love learning.. it might be another language or a skill or simply a lesson in life. Learning is one of the best things life can offer me. 

And for the past weeks ive been trying to figure out things I learned that made an impact on me. 

1. There is no plural form of learning.. There's no such word as LEARNINGS!  I didn't know that.. haha 

2. You won't get so much from complaining. Now, let's be honest here. Do you actually expect  life to bring you good things if you complain more than you appreciate? Do you actually expect a promotion if you complain more than you work? Do you actually expect to be recognized (in a good way) if you don't do things right? Ever wonder why nothing works for you? if you hate your life don't expect it to like you.  If you hate your job (same thing). Negativity only attracts negativity PERIOD

3. Every situation is an opportunity to learn - Either it's something good or something bad. In every situation, in every challenge, in every problem there's an equivalent learning. Someone told me few days ago that situations are a matter of perspective. I took that really hard and turned all my problems (some are living things) into my Guinea Pigs hihihi.

The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you. Tony Robbins

4. Most of the time, you can't change people's thinking. Some people learn but a lot don't. Don't expect them to change their ways and outlook. If they listen, that's good if they don't, DON'T BOTHER. After all, life is still the best therapist... so let life teach them the hard way ;)

 5. It's really nice to fall in love -:) NEED I SAY MORE?!!!!!!  <3 I always know that love increases our Oxytocin, serotonin and enodorphin levels, more so, it decreases our stress hormones. E nagtataka pa ba ako despite stressful days e gumugulong ako sa kakiligan <3! <3! mapait ang ampalaya! *wink

[jamiesy-blog]

The stakes are high, the water's rough..But this love is OURS :)

Speak now

[jamiesy-blog]

never ending fixation

Why is it that everytime family is the topic, I can't help but cry...

Who said I want to shed tears in front of people? dang! especially not in front of my manager.

it happens so quickly,, ask me anything about my need for recognition, surely I would cry...

btw, I have gone under psychoanalysis, cognitive therapy and gestalt about this issue.. In fact I have somehow conquered a bit of it... but there's still one issue I can't seem to erase in my heart...

this never ending fixation... 

you know, I could even imagine walking down the aisle ALONE. not with my father. cause it's awkward.. cause i dont even know if he cares about the things I love, or he even cares about this family.. Actually i dont care. I just wish he'll shut his mouth off and never bother me when he's drunk. I'LL BE FINE THAT WAY! cause i have already accepted the fact that nothing matters to him aside from his vices.  and to my mom, I won't ask for any affirmation with you.. I know you would never agree. I would never ask you to tell me "Good Luck" or "you'll do well" or "im proud of you" or "i know you can do it!" I WONT. I wont even bother if i go home with nothing on the table but every time my brother needs something you'll always available.. i wont care! JUST STOP SEEING ME AS THE BAD GUY ALL THE TIME! I admit im not the perfect daughter, who is perfect anyway?

i have this fear on telling people what happened to me or what i feel.. cause i was conditioned that whatever happens to me Im still at fault. its so hard.   its so hard!!! i could imagine my mom telling me "e bakit kasi ganyan gnwa mo" "e dapat kasi" BLAH BLAH BLAH.. LAGI NALANG MALI! NAKAKAPIKON!  

i got really used to keeping things to myself....

phew!