My Journal

This blog is an insight into the mind of a quiet 17 year old (Well, that's what it looks like on the outside!), and how she looks at her life on a daily basis. This blog is a journal, open for you guys to read, and is where I express myself and my thoughts on things through words and photographs. You know, posting things that I find difficult expressing in real life? I'll be honest here. What I appear to be online is completely different to who I am in the outside world! Online, I'm able to say things that... I just don't say in real life. Thank God for the internet, right? Follow my other social media sites to keep updated! https://www.facebook.com/jamminjasmineehttps://www.twitter.com/jamminjasmineeehttps://www.instagram.com/jammin.jazhttps://www.youtube.com/jamminjasminee

[jamminjaz]

I'm so stressed. I can't even think straight. My mind is racing. Honestly? I need to take a break from everything. Just until my AS exams are over. Then, all summer, I'm going to be online so much that you'll hate me my the end of it! (or love me, I mean...) But yeah, I just need to take a break from everything social media, and just focus on these exams, because honestly? My mental wellbeing is a mess. So yeah, to see personal updates, just follow my Instagram, @jammin.jaz, and I'll be back on here in May. See ya then, peeps!

[jamminjaz]

Although you're under the impression that you are who you are surround yourself with, at the end of the day you are really the only boss of you. No one can tell you to change, or anything like that because they don't have the ownership of you. Go live your life the way you want to, and be the person you want to be.

[jamminjaz]

We Are The Generation.

We are the generation of the tomorrow. It's time to make our mark before it's too late. It's time to show the world what you can do.

[jamminjaz]

The Day It Was The Hottest Day Of The Year (So Far!) First off, I just want to say that I'm sorry I haven't been posting for nearly an entire WEEK! I've got so much on my mine right now. Yeah, my mental state right now is... *cue explosion* ANYWAYS. So today was... Probably the hottest mid April day I've ever experienced. 25 degrees, sunny all day. Talk about an early summer! Literally, ere in London, it doesn't get this hot in APRIL. It gets this hot at around AUGUST. My friend (aka BAE aka the person who you see with me in those pictures) tells me that there's going to be a 3 month heatwave... Um. WHAT?! Today was SO HOT that I actually tied my hair back. Let me tell you something. You're gonna think I'm totally weird after you hear this. For the past 5 years, I have not tied my hair up in public. Not once. I only started that up again this year. Feel free to ask about that. Anyway, it's sweatpants and T-shirt weather now (well, at the moment, anyway), and I'm super pumped about that! What's the weather situ-a where you live? Are you still living in weather where penguins could migrate to for the summer, or are you under the sun's sauna rays? Hit me up on my NEW Twitter page, @TheJamminJaz!

[jamminjaz]

Just in case y'all were wondering what the snapchat emojis meant, I know I was confused before I found this!

[jamminjaz]

"Back to school! I can't wait, I love school!"

- said no one, EVER.

[jamminjaz]

The Day I Confess That I'm Terrified Of ONE Kids' Movie.

I love my Disney. I love my Pixar. I love kids' movies. How can you not? Most of them are CLASSICS. Including the one that terrified me as a kid, and still terrifies me today, as a 17 year old. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. I love the book, don't get me wrong. As a kid, it was one of my favourite books. But the movie. Oh. My. God. I've only seen the movie once. I remember going to see it in the cinema. I must've been about 9 or something. I don't know. I was young though. All I can remember, was that for most of the movie, I was just covering my eyes and ears, in fear. I absolutely HATED it. My dad makes us rate the movies that we see out of 10. Every movie. Even today! I gave it a -10 out of 10. And the scale was from 1-10. That's a big deal. It scared the living soul out of me. You know the scenes where the kids have bad things happen to them? Yeah, that's what made me give it a -10. You know what scene was the worst though? It was when that girl turned into a gigantic blueberry, or whatever. That was the most terrifying scene I had ever seen. It still gives me the creeps. "Still? Jaz, I thought you've only seen it the one time!" Well, yeah you're right. But my sister and cousins are watching a movie right now, and I went into the living room to see what movie they were watching. That EXACT scene was on. Obviously, I'm older now, so I didn't react as dramatically as I did when I first saw it around 8 years ago. But hey, it still gave me heart palpations, and I did get freaked out. That's why I wrote this, just to get it out of my system. That movie. It's one of the rare things that I can't stand. I'm actually quite flexible with most things, but with that movie? Um, nope. However, I am a media student, and I've done film studies at GCSE, and I've got to say... I'm impressed with the cinematography and mise-en-scene that they used. Oh right, you don't know. Um... Just Google it.

[jamminjaz]

The Day I Felt INCREDIBLE! Here’s a fact that you ought to know about me: The Incredibles is my favourite film of all time. I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched it- I’ve lost count. But I absolutely love it; I loved it as a kid, and I still love it now. I even watched it, first thing this morning. Literally, I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed at 8 in the morning (plus, I was still in a movie mood, as the night before I had a mini disney movie marathon of Disney films I’d never watched before), so I thought, “Hm… What movie should I watch? The Incredibles? Nah… Actually, okay!!” So, when I found out this afternoon via Facebook (I find out everything through Facebook for some reason, it’s weird.) that Mr Bird had CONFIRMED that had started writing the sequel… I went… Erm… Just a wee bit… CRAAAAAZY!!!! I mean, come on. How could I not? We wait. And wait. For over 10 years. And now he comes out with the phrase we’ve been wanting to hear. It’s like… Like… Giving me permission to not think about ANYTHING except watching Disney movies for 24 hours straight. Or giving me the ability to eat al the pretzels I want without getting fat. Or giving me a genie that would grant any amount of wishes I want. Or giving me the chance to see Wicked every day for a year with Jennifer Dinoia and Savannah Stevenson. Or giving me the power to never go beyond the age of 30, no matter how old I get. Sorry. Too much? Back to the point. The point is, The Incredibles sequel is coming and I’m mega, mega HYPED! What are your thoughts on this?

[jamminjaz]

The Day I Stole My Uncles Clothes! What? Can't a 17 year old girl nab some of her uncle's clothes? I mean, they're comfy, warm, and good for cold weather! However... It is starting to get hotter now. Um. Whoops. Anyways, I'm always up for getting new clothes. Whether it's brand new clothes or hand me downs, I love me the new feel of clothes that I haven't worn before. So, since my uncle's clothes are laying about at my granddad's house, I eye them up. And I say, "Eh. Why not?" Is anyone else like this? Or is it just me? Whose clothes do you steal? ;-)

[jamminjaz]

The Day Memories Were Brought Back At The Beach Thorpe Bay is my childhood beach. Even though we have to travel 2 hours to get there. But hey. When I was a kid we used to see The Air Show, where planes would sore high above us as we stood of the sandy surface of the beach, and we would watch them perform by flying in fancy motions, leaving a trail of smoke suspended in the air. It's more memorising than it seems. At least, it seems to be when you see it as a kid. When in reality, I haven't seen the air show in around 10 years. Wow, I can talk about stuff that I did 10 years ago. Holy cow, I'm getting old. Yelp. But that beach has more memories than that. Whenever I go to that particular beach, no matter what, I will always collect shells. Always. It's a tradition of mine. I will NEVER leave Thorpe Bay without collecting at least one new shell. I'm pretty sure my mother wonders why. Maybe she knows why. Either way, I'm going to tell you why. And just as a warning, this post may go on a bit, just because I may start to reflect. Maybe it may. Maybe it won't. Yeah- it's THAT type of blog post. I don't really talk about this much, just because (1) it's pretty sensitive, (2) I don't want to upset or depress anyone (especially my mother) and (3) I've become so used to not talking about it, it's hard for me to. Even in written terms. That's a massive thing for me. If I find it hard to write it, I don't think anyone can expect me to verbally say it. It's weird though, because I don't get emotional over it anymore. It's kind of a numb feeling now. However, sometimes it really does get to me. And yesterday it did. Okay. I've briefed you. Ready? Here we go. Let's so back to the air show. Who was 'we'? Who used to go? Well, it was me, my little sister, my mother, my cousin and my grandmother. Ah, my grandmother. From what I remember, she was one of the most loving people I've ever come across. Whenever we used to come to visit, she would, more often than not, read me this book called 'When I Go To Grandma's'. In fact, every time I come now, the book is always on the bedside table next to me. ... Slightly off topic. There are a loads of memories that I could share about her, but I'd have to make a separate blog all together for that. Plus, it's a little too personal for this stage. But this next one that I'm about to tell you will be the reason why I always collect shells whenever I visit Thorpe Bay. Whenever my grandmother, mother, little sister and I went to Thorpe Bay, we would always collect shells together. I believed my mother would always watch us, and I'm not too sure if my sister used to collect shells with us, but I definitely remember my grandmother helping me scavenge for new shells and rocks. Not every time, but I do remember her helping. Once we got back to the house, after a good hour or so on the beach, I'd put all of the shells I'd collected into a small wooden box, which today is perched by the window in my bedroom. (When I get back home tomorrow, I'll post a picture.) Around 3 weeks before my 11th birthday (so the winter of 2009) she passed away while she was abroad. This story gets really deep, so I won't go into it right now, but I will say two things. Number one: it was the most traumatic event that has ever happened to me, so it still affects me a little bit today. Number two: I miss her. I do. But hey, this is all a story for another day. But that's the reason why every time I go to the beach, I MUST collect shells. It's like... A connection base. Between me and her. I don't know. The beach reminds me of her too. Maybe that's another factor. But no, the point is, my grandmother is the reason why I collect shells every time I go to Thorpe Bay. There are other places that remind me of her too whenever I come to Southend: the high street, the house... Maybe later on, I'll tell you the Dove story ;-)

[jamminjaz]

"A bird is safe in its nest - but that is not what its wings are made for."

- Amit Ray

[jamminjaz]

The Day We Travelled To Southend-On-Sea! So, my granddad lives in Southend-On-Sea. I've been coming here for... As long as I can remember. You know, to visit my grandparents. We usually stay for about 3 days, on average. I'll tell you something, I absolutely love it here- I really do! My granddad lives by the beach and the high-street and the park... It's just such an escape from our life in London! Plus, the house is quite... What's the word? Big? Posh? Yeah. Oh, and we get to see family that we don't see too often! That's always great. Gotta love family! Oh, and all the memories. Gosh, there's some golden memories wrapped up in this place. Just thinking about it is a little overwhelming. Anyways, I'll be here until Tuesday, so I'll keep you all updated on my stay here. After all, this is my online public journal!

[jamminjaz]

REVIEW: The Day I Went To See Cinderella! WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SUBTLE SPOILERS.

Yesterday, I FINALLY managed to go with an old friend to see Cinderella! It was a great film- really well composed, great casting, and because I'm a media student, there were a couple of times where I said to myself: "Wow, that's a pretty good shot, right here!" And, "Oh, that's a fancy camera movement..." "Just look at that mise-en-scene! That cinematography, though..." You get the idea. Total media nerd. CAUTION: If you want to study Media or Film Studies, just remember that you'll NEVER be able to look at TV and cinema the same ever again. Just a little heads up. You're welcome. Anyway, before I 'review' Cinderella, I'm going to 'review' a little 7 minute movie that played before it started. You know a few weeks ago where I posted about Frozen Fever, and I said how I was looking forward to seeing it? Well, I got to watch it! Frozen Fever was... Cute. Yeah, I'll say that. I think my favourite aspect of it, was that we got to see a different side of Elsa! Yup, I'm #TeamElsa! 'Making Today A Perfect Day' really fitted in, although it did take up nearly all of the short, but hey. One thing that I didn't really like too much about it was the amount of references taken from the original movie. A little cheesy, if you will. But I guess Frozen is aimed at small children, and not 17 year old girls, so I guess they had to put that many references in, in order to entertain their primary audience. Overall? I'd give it about 3.5/5 stars. But I really did love it though: it was cute; it was entertaining; and it makes me kind of excited for Frozen 2! Let's move on to Cinderella. Before I do, may I say... Lily James? Oh my God. What a talent! She is SUCH an AMAZING actress, and she pulled off the role of Ella, aka Cinderella, beautifully. Plus, she looked stunning! Oh, and Richard Madden? Well... He really did look "Charming"! Like I said at the beginning, the mise-en-scene (or, in non-media terms, the costumes, the makeup, the casting, the set) was totally on point. And there was one camera movement that really caught my eye. It was when it was just about to strike midnight, and Cinderella was running away from Prince Kip- the camera did this major tilt movement as she was running across from one side of the room to another. That impressed me, because of how symbolic it was. Ok, I promise, that the last of the media-like analysis, I'll just keep my views on a general level. I absolutely adored Cinderella'a character though. She's a character that children should really aspire to grow up to be like- innocent, kind, light hearted, friendly, forgiving... And her life saying, "Have courage and be kind" is now one of MY life sayings. I don't know if it's just me, but Disney come up with the best life sayings. Half of my life sayings are from disney movies! #GoTeamDisney! Yes, there were scenes that did get me emotional, like with all the deaths that took place, and when the evil step mother and her two daughters forbid Cinderella from going to the ball, thus ripping up her late mother's dress (I warned you!), making Cinderella nearly break her promise to her mother... Gosh, those bits were heavy! In my opinion, the last quarter of the movie was the most intense. I mean, yes, we all know how the story ends. But even so, you still get stressed out when the evil step mother tries to attempts to keep Cinderella from seeing Kip, and the Prince nearly doesn't find Cinderella... I was getting so frustrated, my friend next to me must have been thinking to herself, "Oh my God I've come to the cinema with a buffoon. What have I got myself into...?!" I'd totally recommend this movie to any family. I mean, there are emotionally distressing scenes, but it's not traumatising. I'd gladly watch it again! Even so, I'd still give it maybe 3.5 or 4 out of 5 stars- I did feel like it was going on a bit too much at times. That's probably my only criticism. But I throughly enjoyed it! If you've seen it already, or if you're planning to see it, hit me up on Twitter @jamminjasmineee, and let's have a chat!

[jamminjaz]

The future is never sure. It's never guaranteed. That means that it's open to so many paths and possibilities. The doors are endless. The future is an empty canvas, only accessible for you to customise. What are you going to do with your future? When do you want it to happen? Now? 2 years time? 10 years time? 100 years time? Well, it's worth starting now, right?

[jamminjaz]

The Day I Went Bowling And Played Pool... And Won Everything! So, today I discovered a new side of me- I found that not only do I need to drastically improve in bowling (I won with a puny score of 71...) but I'm actually half decent at pool! You wanna know how decent? I'll vlog it next time. ;-) In the meantime, here are the photos we took today! But seriously, I don't know about you, but I much prefer indoor sports to outside sports. I love my bowling, and my pool, and my darts, and my table tennis... However I love regular tennis... Dang, I'm torn now.

[jamminjaz]

"Sisters annoy, interfere, criticise. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolise the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But, if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all corners."

- Pam Brown

[jamminjaz]

The Day I Made A Photography Page. I know, my photography still needs work. But I've Veblen told that what I do isn't necessarily bad. In fact, I get told that it's actually decent. So, I thought, "Why not?" So here it is, my photography account! This actually gives me an excuse to continue developing my skills, plus you guys get to see my progression too- it's a win-win situation! Right, I'm gonna go plan some YouTube videos and a podcast, see ya!