Jammy Time @jammy-time-blog - Tumblr Blog

Tumblr Folklore Stories/Blogs Directory/Masterlist

There are so many great Tumblr Blog stories here! But things are best when organized! Here you are! I’m going to use Tumblr Blaze in a couple weeks to spread this to everyone, but if all of you can reblog this to everyone you know, we can spread the joys of Tumblr to EVERYONE!

Credit to https://www.tumblr.com/dannnnnnnnnnnnex/700073427344736256/love-how-tumblr-has-its-own-folk-stories-yeah-the

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

Doctors Without Borders

The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

Well, now they’re categorized.

https://www.tumblr.com/inkvoices/700033965299531776/love-how-tumblr-has-its-own-folk-stories-yeah-the

https://www.tumblr.com/lightningladybug/699931426130444288/love-how-tumblr-has-its-own-folk-stories-yeah-the

https://www.tumblr.com/blitzlowin/699840636252225536/love-how-tumblr-has-its-own-folk-stories-yeah-the

mediamattersforamerica

“We are prepared to educate Donald Trump, one by one, on topics we’re pretty sure he doesn’t know about.”

spikedluv

OMG *dies* “We call those ‘other people’.”

tielan

“There are countries that are not America…”

sashayed

My name is Calfe & Im too young to know yet what do with my Toung! So till my Mom say “Dont Do That!” Ill stick it out And lik this cat.

sashayed

My little Calfe, Im proud of yu– yur living like the Big Cows do. Yur doing just what Mom have said– for yu lik cat, and cat

lik bred.

lierdumoa

Bad meme execution. 0/5 stars.

These poems are supposed to be imitative of 17th/18th century middle English poetry (pre-dating dictionaries and formalized spelling conventions) not early 2000s chatspeak, not babytalk.

These poems are also supposed to be in iambic diameter, giving them a pleasing songlike rhythm. The above has inconsistent syllabic structure from line to line.

These attributes are clearly illustrated in the prime:

So tired of people on this website and their flagrant disregard for syllabic structure.

No respect for the craft.

sashayed

1. first of all, how dare you. i would never, N E V E R, put forth a cow poem with inconsistent syllabic structure. these may not be my finest work, but the iambic dimeter is IMPECCABLE. check my scansion again and come back to me. I guess “know what do yet” is not ideal, but it falls within the constraints of the form. i’m genuinely appalled by this. i have SEEN inconsistent scansion in this meme, i do NOT approve of it and i have NOT done it. how dare you. HOW DAR EYOU!!!

sashayed

Secondly: it is not absurd to suppose that the linguistic constraints of a Cow Poem would depend on the figure to whom Cow speaks. In the original (and perfect) “i lik the bred,” the narrative cow, like a Chaucerian non-characterized narrator, directs her speech to an imagined and unspecific listener; not to “the men,” who are characters within the poem, but to some more general audience. (See the Canterbury Tales prologue for an example of this voice in action.)

Later, poem_for_your_sprog has Cow address contemporaries like “dog.” You will notice that the voice of Cow varies slightly, in speaking to Dog, from her voice in the original “I lik the bred.” WHY, then, can we not extrapolate that Calfe – who is, after all, a narrator of limited capacity, being only a Baby Cow with a Baby Cow’s simplicity – would have its own variant voice? And why, too, would Cow not speak differently to her own Calfe than she does to an animal peer, or to reverent imaginary auditors? These are experiments within an emerging form – flawed experiments, certainly, but not mistakes ipso facto. Again: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!

sashayed

my name is Cow, and as yu see, its worth yor tiyme to studye me. but if yu dont like what yu red, take 2 deep breths and lik the bred.

lierdumoa

I am willing to concede on second reading that the syllabic structure is passable, and in that regard I’ve wrongly impugned the integrity of your work, however I maintain that your Frankenstinian amalgam of fake middle English with fake modern American baby talk is thoroughly unconvincing as either middle English or as modern American baby talk.

It’s an aesthetic failure, IMH(inh)O*

You’ve created the linguistic equivalent of a spork — vitiating two perfectly serviceable tools by attempting to fuse them.

Writing ‘till mothere says / do not do that,’ would have conveyed roughly the same idea without feeling quite so awkwardly anachronistic.

sashayed

My name is Rave, and I can see you’re bent on pa- tronizing me! ”Anachronistic” frankly seems a misplaced word to use of memes. But since you want to start that fight, let’s step outside and do this right.

Dude: if you want to not get wrecked you’d better get your facts correct.

Like, “Mothere,” friend, is not a word that Geoffrey Chau- cer ever heard.* (*”Mooder” would be period-accurate, and also a good cow word.) What’s more, the “eight- teenth century” has zip to do with, um, “M.E.” And it’s not spelled “diameter.” What are you, pal, an amateur?

I am not Chaucer or John Donne but if you try to spoil my fun with words you learned in English class –

don’t come for me. I’ll kik yur ass.

wildestranger-deactivated202105

I don’t think someone who thinks Middle English happened in the seventeenth century ought to be schooling others.

hestiashotsauce-deactivated2022

“17th/18th century middle English”

amatalefay

My name is Geoff, John Chaucer’s sonne, and I my lyfe’s cours have runne. Engelish tonges are now divers, so pedants, kis

my naked ers

jabletown

@WorstMuse

hyenaspotz

I couldn’t remember how I had arrived at that dark place. The last thing I recalled was going to a student’s house, a nubile young thing whose beauty stoked the fires of my aging passion.

“How did I get here?” I said quietly, distantly to myself. This dank cave was no place for an esteemed professor of English literature, the most glorious and noble of all the Earth’s tongues.

There was a pool of water, and I washed my face in it. Staring at my reflection, I noticed a cast to my eyes, as if some great thing were floating upon their surface like a person could float upon the Dead Sea.

Suddenly, there she was. My student. The soft, ivory tone of her flesh still stirred something within me.

“You are here,” she said cryptically. Something was wrong. Her… curves were in all the wrong places. There, in the darkness, it was as if the contours of her youthful body did not conform to the Euclidean laws of the universe, bending and twisting in ways out of the corners of my eyes. Her head tilted to the side and that mouth opened, revealing teeth and eyes far within…

She wasn’t like other girls, I thought, screaming.

scribbleowl-deactivated20181204

ok but this is marvelous

ladyshinga

Reblogging again because that was fucking beautiful

humanpersonface

Now this is something I want to read more of.

More stories of old, gross, white male author wish fulfillment in the form of young women inexplicably wanting them which turns instead into surreal horror. This should be a new market.