Apathetic.

I think the title best describes me.

[janaboooo]

#wildthings #alessiacara https://www.instagram.com/p/BOqmmL2BlmAE2aZ2B5vxW85nI-Nt_Go_f6o3080/?igshid=rn2nmf5nf2k9

[janaboooo]

Helpless.

[janaboooo]

being a frustrated model girlfriend and having frustrated photographer boyfriend  ❤️ Haha!

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Apathetic.

[janaboooo]

Where were you when I needed you most?

I don't know why I feel this way today

Everything seems to be black and grey

I feel so isolated and lost

Where were you when I needed you most?

[janaboooo]

“That's why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like toss starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and even then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn't constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered-- not my family or your family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.”

[janaboooo]

“I want to wake up with you beside me in the mornings. I want to spend my evenings looking at you across the dinner table. I want to share every mundane detail of my day with you and hear every detail of yours. I want to laugh with you and fall asleep with you in my arms.”

― Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me

[janaboooo]

:)

Love isn't about finding someone who surprises you with a bouquet flowers. It isn't about someone who can give you the sweetest chocolates or can bring you to the most expensive restaurant in town.

Love? Well, it is about finding someone who surprises you with those unexpected hugs from your back..      It is about someone who can give you the sweetest kiss on your forehead and whisper the sweetest words you could ever imagine..       And it is about someone who can make you feel like you're the most beautiful women ever lived.

See? Love isn't about spending lots of money to make days unforgettable. But it is those simple little things you do that makes them cherish every moments with you.

[janaboooo]

Ah.

It's like a beautiful flower starting to wither.

Like a road reaching the detour.

..doesn't seem good.

Fine.

..I just want food.

[janaboooo]

Sing me to sleep.

With your voice so sweet.

Sing me to sleep.

You're taking me too deep.

Sing me to sleep.

Oh I hate to weep.

Sing me to sleep.

And bury me under six feet.

[janaboooo]

Hypocrisy.

Heed my words for it has my melody. Seeking attention is not my necessity.

I am not bidding nor pleading for such renown. For prominence is just a windfall that can be withdrawn.

  Heed my voice for I’d confess and speak for those who were suppressed. Fuck the fame for it is ephemeral. It does not make you a phenomenal.

I plead for a democracy not for the bullshit hypocrisy. Why can’t it be? Why can’t anybody see?

  Blinded by money and choked by notoriety. Gluttons for attention and seek for good rendition.

I’m tired of bullshits. I’m sick of lies. Fuck those hypocrites, I hope they die.

[janaboooo]

Gazing at the serene blue sky, as the clouds dance slowly to the beat of the winds romantic purr, I reminisce how things had changed back then.

I can still remember how fragile we were two years ago.  How I used to cry each time things get worst. I was like an infirm soldier that came unprepared in the middle of a bloody battle.. high and dry, too frail, too fatal. Great! Wounds and pain has almost murdered me. Giving up has always been my choice. And fighting? Well, that was the last thing listed on my list. Yes, I am that weak.

But that was two years ago.  Those wounds have healed though it has left a little scar in here. Those battles have made me tougher and taught me lessons to adhere. They say that there’s no rainbow without a little rain. I know he loves me and that’s enough to forget the pain. Like a lady concealing her scar. Like a soldier getting over the war.

[janaboooo]

Too many thoughts left unsaid.

I have so much thoughts on my mind, but I find it so hard to put them into words. Ideas were all splattered on my scumbag brain. -_- New years resolution? Well, I hope I can drive away my sluggishness and be more diligent in writing.

[janaboooo]

The sky is gloomy. Incessant rain is falling. The sound of heavy raindrops were clamoring. Bleak weather caused melancholy. And flashbacks started to protrude. I hate getting flashbacks from things I don’t wanna remember. “Will I ever forget those hurtful memories that has almost slayed my being?” *Sigh* As I daze from nowhere, the rain gets heavier. How I wish I could stop the rain, much as I wish I could forget the pain.. Suddenly, my phone beeped loud which awakened my insanity. One message received. “I love you.”——Yes, it’s you.. Suddenly, I found my self smiling. After a few minutes, the rain started to subside. Then I realized.. The only thing I needed to forget those hurtful memories.. And the only thing that could suddenly turn melancholy into bliss.. ..is——YOU. You're the wind that blows those rainclouds away. Because of you, my sun shone brightly again.

[janaboooo]

Appreciate life.

Another day had passed. Another problem was made to surpass. Another heart was broken. And another soul was taken. No, this is not another bleak story.

"Just one ordinary day again", I thought as I yawn.

As I reminisce, thoughts started to protrude.

"What if I die tomorrow?"

"What if people get tired on me?"

"What if I...

"What if..

Then I realized, it's a great privilege to be simply alive. That I should appreciate every single day God has given me and treasure those people I love most.

Life isn't always predictable. If you learn to appreciate every day of your life, you'll realize how blessed you are. Be thankful for everything because time spent living is worth appreciating. :)

[janaboooo]

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

Some things are easier to say when you're drunk. But are much harder to say when you're sober. Ironic.

[janaboooo]