grow out

i don’t want to stay down. i hope that we grow out, grow out of trees.

[janejpg]

dominic.

HE CAN’T HELP but let out a chuckle , amused at watching her sulk at a stupid little game . dominic wraps an arm around her , rubbing her shoulder in a soothing motion before letting go . it’s so easy honestly , so easy to relax around the female . but he knows he has to limit himself . he smirks at her , nodding towards the bottles . ‘ there’s a trick to it and of course , some needed skills as well . ’ he turns to look at the one in - charge , already asking for a set of rings . ‘ what prize do you want , jane ? ’

“i almost had it..” jane defends again as he comforts her losing streak. and she does feel comfortable with him beside her, despite the quickening of her heart beat at the touch, but she’s learnt to control it. “are you saying you'll win?” her brows raise and she steps to lean against the railing. “i don’t wanna jinx you or anything,” jane’s lips curve in a teasing smile as she waits for him to go his turn. 

[janejpg]

hunter.

“little bit of both.“

they brush shoulders as he hands the kid behind the booth a couple of bills, neatly folded in half, and hunter doesn’t wait for them to count it out before he’s helping himself to the plastic rings. the first skitters off the table. the next two catch on the lip of bottles– before pattering down between them.

“same goes for me, i guess.” he turns. the expression on his face is warm. friendly. “hey, janey. maybe if we pool our money together we can bribe them.”

jane’s attention is immediately stolen by hunter as he appears beside her, keeping her gaze on him long enough that she doesn’t even catch the rings falling off the bottles. 

“would it be bad to admit that i already tried that approach?” her nose crinkles as she glances to the worker. “something about their boss patrolling the grounds,” she mumbles in afterthought. 

“besides, i wouldn’t want you to spend anything on me.” not anymore, anyways. it was strange to navigate their relationship post break-up, but enough time has passed that jane was able to say they were on pretty good terms. 

“are you enjoying the festival?” 

[janejpg]

addison‌.

“ 𝐨𝐡, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬𝐬 ? “ 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 addison didn’t know jane very well. “ are you a music major ? that’s my minor. i actually really, really hate it, but i probably need some kind of music in my degree if i want to become a music therapist, y’know ? “ he nods, a grin breaking out onto his face. “ for sure. i’m from alabama. you ? “

“no, actually, i’m a creative writing major. though i’ve been thinking about pursuing a music minor. -- is it really that bad?” jane raises her brows at his future aspiration, “a music therapist? that’s really cool. so i’m guessing your major must be in.. psychology, then?” she tilts her head to the side in question. “i’ve always wanted to travel south,” she hums, “i’m boring. this place, wisconsin, i mean, is home for me.” 

[janejpg]

justice.

        “yeah, pretty much.” at least it seemed that way considering she hadn’t won yet. that said a lot – if she had already wasted ten dollars on the game and had no good outcome yet? it was unlikely that she ever would. “because the game is so simple, your mind basically thinks and convinces you that you can win… but 97% of the time? you can’t.” he gives another shrug, his eyes moving to the stuffed lion. “it’s not the same, but i’ll take you to target and we’ll find you a stuffed lion during the weekend, you cool with that?” he would have honesty chanced his arm and asked the man operating it how much he wanted for the animal, but with so many people around them? he knew that was a lost cause. there was no point in trying there. “i mean, i used to get pretty mad as a child when i didn’t win.. like furiously mad. but then i realised there had to be a reason as to why it was rare to win and had to research it.. which isn’t exactly surprising, is it?”

“what a wicked way to earn money,” jane mumbles as she scans the game once more before turning away once and for all. “it’s okay, justice. no need to pity me. dad will argue that i have enough old stuffed toys at home anyways,” she sighs and links her arm with his as she starts to lead them away from the booth. “always wanting to come out victorious,” she hummed and smiled at the thought, “just like your sisters. i admire that about you guys.” the festival was still full underway and there was no reason to continue sulking about a lost game. “have you eaten yet? i think i still have money leftover, thanks to you, so i can buy us something. i heard they have kebab somewhere..” 

[janejpg]

chase.

「    𝘩𝘦  𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴  𝘩𝘦𝘳  in  ways  he  hadn’t  expected ,  but  he  knows  he  can’t  be  upset  about  it  after  he  ruined  their  almost  so  easily .    still ,  he  steps  up  beside  her  cautiously ,  uneasy  on  his  feet  after  spending  most  of  the  day  drinking .    “  hm …  ”    he  hands  his  coins  to  the  guy  running  the  table ,  squinting  his  eyes  at  the  bottles  and  tossing  the  ring  towards  them  -  and  misses .    “  i  mean ,  there’s  gotta  be  some  kind  of  trick ,  right ?  ”

jane doesn’t expect to see chase appear beside her, but west bridge was fairly small and bumping into each other was long overdue. “i think that’s just what we have to tell ourselves to not feel like complete losers,” her lips form a slightly amused smile as she glances to chase. they were so close at one point.. it felt strange to wonder what to say next. but it’d be a lie to say she hasn’t missed him. “maybe we should try our luck at something easier..?” 

[janejpg]

addison‌.

“ 𝐢'𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭— “ 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐩, hoping that was enough to change the subject. his ears perk up when she mentions her plans, looking at her with a cocked head. “ community centre ? what are you gonna be doin’ there ? “ he sets his nearly-empty cup on the ground next to his foot. “ i’m just goin’ home. i haven’t been home since christmas and i’m gonna lost my mind if i don’t get authentic sweet tea pretty soon. “

jane gives addison the out. let him drink to his heart’s content, it’s been a wild semester for them, after all. “i’m giving guitar lessons to kids. well, they advertise it as kids but i wouldn’t mind taking someone older either, so if you know anyone interested-- send them my way.” she leans back on her hands and stretches her legs out in front of her. “that’s exciting, i bet you’ve missed your family. where’s home, can i ask?” 

[janejpg]

justice.

      “that’s the thing, my dear, dear jane.” justice shook his head, his hands moving to rest on her shoulders to direct her back to the bottles to take a look at. “if you look at the rings themselves.. you’ll see they’re not all that much wider than the actual neck of the bottle.” his voice drops, clearly trying to keep his voice down so that no one else would hear and feel deterred from playing. “not only that, but if you were paying attention, the rings are made of plastic.. which means they bounce harder when you miss. and if you were paying even more attention, you’ll notice that the guy operating it was able to do it because the ring he used was actually bigger and he dropped it right over the bottle, not throwing it the way you are.” it was a mixture of pure knowledge from researching such games, and just perception. it was easy to see just how many people were tricked though. not many people could really win through sheer skill. “what do you want though? out of all those stuffed animals, i mean?”

“huh..” jane furrows her brows together as justice points out the bottles and rings. as a resident of cortland, she had been going to the festival for years with her dad and brothers, but has seemingly never paid enough attention to the attractions like justice has. “so you’re telling me the game’s rigged and i just wasted ten dollars?” she shouldn’t be so surprised, but having been enamoured by the illusion of the festival since she was young, it was a tough pill to swallow. “well, i would’ve really liked to take home that stuffed lion up there,” she points to the toy above them, “but now i don’t know if i want to feed the..” she waved her hand in the air trying to find the right word, “corruption of it all.” hanging her shoulders in defeat, she turns to justice, “how do you know so much about carnival games anyways?”  

[janejpg]

remi.

    “ right ? it’s not even like i’m hurting any one , “ she jokes with a short snort patting her skateboard for emphasis. she has to force herself to look away from the other girl as she notices the way her eyes flash to her lips, it’s too much all at once. “ me ? “ she asks almost as if she’s shocked by the question, “ i’m ok, classes are ok , i visit my parents the weekend after the semester ends which will be … interesting , nothing real substantial , “ she paused pursing her lips for a moment, “ uh , what about you it’s been so long since you know , we’ve really talked and all … “

“at least not intentionally, anyways,” jane looks back at the students who had jumped out of remi’s way who looked like they were less than pleased and tried to hide her amused smile. “that’ll be fun,” she responds at the mention of remi visiting her parents, “i mean, it could be fun.. seeing family again and all.” jane was lucky to have a good relationship with her dad and brothers but knew that wasn’t the case with everyone. she shifts her weight on her feet and gives a small shrug of her shoulders. “i’ve been the usual,” her hand goes to tuck her hair again, “just really looking forward to summer. campus just feels too stuffy, you know?” 

[janejpg]

open event starter ! time : saturday, june 15th at the festival

“oh, c’mon, i almost had it,” jane focused on shooting a ring around a bottle, a classic carnival game that she somehow couldn’t beat. but the cute stuffed lion hanging above her was enough to keep her exchanging her coins to play again and again. “just one more time..” jane mumbles as she steps to the side, slightly sulking as she lets the person behind her have a turn. “is there a trick to this? or do i just have really bad aim?”

[chaeyoungofficial]

[IG] roses_are_rosie

[janejpg]

addison‌.

open starter — event three. friday, june fourteenth at the bonfire

“ 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 — 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢 𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 little something something— “ & by that, he means that he pregamed even before the bonfire & copped the first drink that he saw once he arrived. “ give me a break, yeah ? it’s been a crazy fuckin’ semester. don’t look at me all disappointed like that. i’m fine. it’s gonna be fine. “ give him a shot of something clear, however, & that statement may no longer have any legs to hold itself up. “ enough about me. how’ve you been ?  what are your summer plans ? "

“are you convincing me or yourself?” jane lets out a light laugh at addison’s clearly intoxicated state thinking if he took a shot everytime he said ‘fine’ he definitely wouldn’t be fine. “i’m doing well, thanks. looking forward to spending the summer in the sun whenever i can, even if it means sneaking out of the community centre i’m working at.” she was a bit anxious to teach kids basic guitar lessons but mostly excited for it. “what are you planning on getting up to?” 

[janejpg]

romeo.

@janejpg​ !

             IT’S  ONLY  BEEN  A  FEW  MONTHS  since  his  life  turned  upside  down  completely,  and  to  say  that  he’s  still  adjusting  is  an  understatement.  rom  isn’t  used  to  talking  about  his  creative  passions  beyond  the  occasional  nod  to  his  current  piece  that’s  in  progress.  he  spent  most  of  his  life  pretending  that  it  was  nothing  he  was  too  concerned  about  (  for  many  reasons  ) ,  and  he  still  finds  himself  struggling  to  open  up  about  that  aspect  of  himself.  if  there’s  someone  who’s  helping  him  work  through  that  the  most,  though,  it’s  jane.  opening  up  about  not  just  that,  but  about  himself  in  general,  and  helping  her  do  the  same  has  helped  him  both  creatively  and  as  a  person.  he  hopes  he’s  had  even  just  half  of  the  same  impact  on  her,  too.  although  it’s  nearing  the  1  a.m.  mark,  the  two  of  them  are  showing  no  sign  of  moving  any  time  soon.  both  of  them  are  sitting  atop  of  the  hood  of  his  car,  the  town  beneath  them  serving  as  nothing  more  than  a  backdrop  for  their  view  of  the  sky.  rom  is  leaning  his  body  against  the  windshield,  fingers  toying  with  the  rings  on  his  fingers.  “ y’know,  the  last  cover  you  posted  on  your  finsta  is  probably  my  favorite  of  yours.  i  mean,  they’re  obviously  all  my  favorites,  but  it  was  my  favorite  within  the  favorites,  if  you  will. ”

there came a sense of peace and comfort whenever jane and romeo stayed up late to share pieces of themselves with each other. sometimes it was art, and sometimes it was the more raw bits that inspired the art. whatever it was, jane had never second-guessed sharing with romeo and hoped that trust went both ways. “careful, i’m gonna get a big head if you say favourite one more time,” jane says with a light laugh mostly because no amount of praise would ever conquer her insecurities. “i wasn’t sure about posting it actually,” she continues, leaning the back of her head against the windshield, “it’s such a famous song and the beatles, i mean, they’ve been so over-covered..” she cuts herself off and grows quiet, trying to will up some confidence in herself for once. “my mom used to sing it to me when i was young,” jane turns her head to look at romeo with a soft smile. she had heard the song blackbird countless times in her youth and it came as a surprise that it took her this long to record an actual cover of it.  maybe it was the change of the seasons that had her feeling nostalgic but she’s been missing her mom a lot recently. “it has a certain weight to it, you know? i feel like all art has a weight to it.” 

[janejpg]

jihae.

          “doesn’t  really  hurt  anymore,  no.”  not  as  much  as  you  hurt  me  anyway.  moments  like  these  always  confuse  jiji  so  much.  it  had  been  so  black  and  white  before,  just,  a  few  words  and  then  they  were  done.  but  here  she  is,  tending  to  her  wounds  again,  and  jiji  finds  herself  unable  to  move  forward.  when  she  picks  up  on  the  words  jane  mumbles  under  her  breath,  a  familiar  surge  of  anger  courses  through  her.  “why  do  i  stand  up  for  myself  ??  for  the  people  i  love  ??  because  i  can.  because  i  can’t  just  stand  by  and  watch  someone  tear  someone  else  down  without  doing  anything.  i’m  s o r r y  that  you  don’t  like  that,  that  you  clearly  don’t  think  doing  this  is  worth  anything.”

jane’s a little taken aback by jihae’s sudden bitterness but she knows it’s not coming out of left field. the other girl’s words register in jane’s head but as usual, jane can’t seem to wrap her mind around this kind of thinking. “does violence have to be the answer for everything? especially when it can physically hurt you or others?” she counters back, her eyes still meeting jihae’s. their contrasting views had been what had wedged a wall between them in the first place but jane was well aware it was her choice to walk away. “jihae..” her voice turns softer now, “you save everyone.. but who saves you? and i know, i know you’re capable of standing up for yourself but at what cost?” 

[janejpg]

jessica.

        being around jane was always something she felt immense comfort in – especially considering the months they had spent together during the summer. jess had basically seen no one else that summer, her sole focus being on the girl. even though it initially started as them fooling around, jessica absolutely treated the other like a girlfriend towards the end of their time together, and it was incredibly bittersweet that they had to part. she didn’t want to, but they promised each other. promised it would just last the summer to focus on school, so she never spoke about it. the fact the two were hanging out now though? that was enough to make her smile and make her extremely happy. her gaze had been locked on a book, just enjoying the other being close by until she heard her speak up. “you don’t even have to ask.” jess placed her book to the side, turning more comfortably and extending her legs to rest on the outside of jane’s. an excuse to get close to her? maybe. “but you already know i’m going to be biased and will think it’s amazing.” she flashed her a wide smile, placing the earbud into her ear instantly. there was no hesitation, no reluctance.. because she knew regardless, it was going to be incredible. and jess seemed to think so as her head started bobbing from side to side as she listened to the other’s voice. the other had the most soothing voice in the world, and the smile on her face was apparent – mostly because she was imagining the times when jane would sing to her. for her. “literally my favorite voice ever.” she whispered, eyes still closed until she waited for the sample to finish. “okay but like… i’m gonna need you to finish this song up – even though i think it’s perfect already, and get it out there. you’re literally the most talented person i know, jane.”

almost to a fault, jane cared way too much about what people thought of her and any of her music. there were many opinions that she valued, jessica’s being one that felt most important. “i want your honesty,” she added with a shy smile, scooting a little closer so that the earphone cord reached the other. jane played with the pen in her hands while she waited for jess to finish listening. her gaze scanned over her features when jessica’s eyes were closed, wondering what she was thinking about when she heard the music. a slight blush appeared on jane’s cheeks as the music finished and jess praised her. “you like it?” a genuine smile took shape on her lips. “it still needs a lot of work but.. i wanted to create something, you know, like, calming,” her brows scrunched as she struggled to explain. for someone who majored in creative writing, it had always been difficult for jane to coherently explain her thoughts. “do you know the feeling of a clear night at the beach? when the moon is out and the waves kiss the shore goodnight.. when the sand’s still warm from the day’s heat and you feel at peace?” jane met jessica’s eyes as she recalled their shared memories together of meeting each other at the beach at night. “i wanted to capture that feeling.. that feeling of a warm summer night. i don’t know if it’s there yet but you know what i mean?” if it wasn’t obvious already, jane adored the summer. she adored the girl in front of her too, but that’s something only her journals know about. 

[janejpg]

dominic.

SHE’S STILL SO SOFT , his mind supplies , shoulders sagging as he lets her words wash over him — calm and suddenly wanting just what she’s suggesting . ‘ i don’t really have to be anywhere until later . so , i could go for a walk , ’ he responds, giving a shrug of his shoulder . dominic reaches it out a hand , cocking his head to the side as he smiles ( boyish and far from the usual smirk ) — ‘ come on . ’

it’s hard not to be drawn in by that smile of his. jane’s own smile returns when he agrees and her perpetually cold hand is warmed when it meets his. how could he be so nice to her but so cruel to himself? ( though maybe it was something they had in common ). “how was your day?” she starts light, genuinly interested, letting dom lead them out of the building.

[janejpg]

ollie.

“He’s fine. It’s just last year’s Burberry.“ Ollie crouches down to get a better look at the hedgehog. “You do you, boo boo.” He knows better than to pick it up. His cousin had one a couple years back so he knows the damage those spines can do, and he cautiously holds out his fingers for the animal to sniff. Ollie glances up to share, “You’re the mama, huh? You’ve got the same eyes. Poor little guy,” he croons. “Your mama’s shit at names.”

“last year’s..” her eyes travel down to his shoes again, trying to imagine what it’d be like to own such expensive footwear. not that she minds much-- her worn out walmart sandals got the job done. “hey--” jane takes mild offence mostly because she was pretty proud of the name she had given her pet. “he practically named himself when he went sniffing around a froot loops box,” she adds in defence of her choice though her voice was lighter now, “it could be worse.. it could have been burberry.” 

[janejpg]

remi.

     “ per usual west bridge administration , “ she grumbles as if she actually had been at the school for more then a single year, but that was remi always having an attitude about something. her lips purse forward threatening to fall into a pout at the word busy, it sounded like an excuse to her. she had already been racking her brain on exactly what she could have done wrong with jane. “ oh yeah , that makes sense … it’s been a busy semester , “ she answered softly with a nod of her head, “ it’s been ok , you know considering everything … i’m glad it’s almost over though . ”

“if they bend the rules at least once it should be for remi bae and her skateboard,” jane’s lips curve up in a small grin. her gaze drifts to remi’s lips briefly as they threaten a pout and she instantly second guesses giving the other girl the cold shoulder. “oh.. yeah,” the thought of manon passes through her head. guilt gnawed at jane almost every night, especially for what they had let happen to manon. “and what about you? how are you doing?”