riley--harris:
“Don’t worry about it. I get it.” Riley looks up at the house, and wonders if she’s in there now, if she’d have some sort of sick deja vu seeing Riley Harris escort her second twin daughter. The whole thing felt very weird, and out-of-body, like walking into a room with a tilted painting on the wall.
He’s drawn out of his thoughts by Janey’s offer, and he looks at her curiously. “Stuff? Um…” He feels ambivalent about the offer – any of Jamie’s stuff would be like a hand grenade made from blood diamonds – valuable, loaded with conflict, and dangerous. Still, he finds the words tripping out of his mouth. “Yeah. Yeah, actually, that’d be really nice.” He’s not sure if he’s saying yes symbolically, to show that after all these months maybe he’s finally ready to accept her help, or if he’s just saying it because he’ll take anything, any little piece of Jamie, even if it’s going to feel like a knife to a heart. He was hoping that maybe this had been the solution all along, some token or another that would fit like a puzzle piece into his heart and maybe he’d start to finally feel okay again. He’d give anything to feel okay again, even if it just meant trading in his altar of grief for a shrine to Jamie. Endless, obsessive devotion to her would, at least, be better than feeling hollow all the time.
“Thanks for, uh, offering, by the way.” He lets out a big breath, and the condensation shimmers in the street lights. “I’d ask for that necklace she always wears, but they probably buried her in it, right?” He feels stupid asking for it – it was the type of thing he imagined Janey of Mrs. Hall would want. “I mean, never mind. I don’t really care. I’ll take anything you feel okay giving me. Or nothing. Are you even sure you want to go in her…?” He trails off. “You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I didn’t walk you here expecting you to give me something. I was just, uh, trying to be a good guy, or something.” Janey would have wanted that, he adds, mentally.
She nods, before reaching up to scratch her head a little. “It’s no problem,” Janey didn’t feel the need to hold on to physical items in order to hold on to Jamie, quite frankly, she found it useless, being her twin and all. But she could understand that it’d probably help Riley cope with the grief. “Actually, it’s still in her room... underneath one of the floorboards, the usual spot where she keeps it when she doesn’t wear it,” she lets out a soft yet dry laugh, not intending to sound as if she didn’t want to give it. “I really don’t mind...” She trails off as they approach her house. “Just give me a couple of minutes,” she tries her best to give him a small smile before entering the house, but it only ends up looking tired and weary.
Her mom’s in the living room, eyes glued to the TV as another soap opera plays. She doesn’t notice Janey come in. Walking up the stairs, she enters Jamie’s room. The posters her sister had are still kept up, although they’re peeling at the edges and some are losing their colour. Finding the floorboard that didn’t look in place, she crouched down to lift it up, finding the necklace that was always worn around her sister’s neck. Picking it up, she places the floorboard back in place before looking around for more items that seemed valuable.
A few minutes pass and Janey’s walking down the stairs with a moderately sized bag slung over her shoulder containing items that ranged from photographs to a hoodie she’d seen Jamie wear when out with Riley. The necklace was in her hands; she steps out of the house and back into the cold. “Sorry I took long... but here,” she removes the bag from her shoulder. “... I managed to get her necklace as well.”
