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JAN ──── ⋆˚꩜。 she/her ⟡ 04 ⟡ writer
enhypen focused blog. 18+ MDNI
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@janiary
WELCOME ──── ✰.ᐟ
JAN ──── ⋆˚꩜。 she/her ⟡ 04 ⟡ writer
enhypen focused blog. 18+ MDNI
M.LIST ✰.ᐟ RULES ✰.ᐟ RECENT ✰.ᐟ RECS ✰.ᐟ WIPS ✰.ᐟ ANONS
i love you, and your writing, and your very big, very creative brain for everything that it has blessed us with. THANK YOU THANK YOUUU!!! 🫡 i am very patiently waiting for the day you post something for jay, so i have to ask would you ever write something for him in the roommates hyung line / error 404 / second law universe?? until then i'll be re-reading all your fics <3 <3
ILOVE JAYY and yes I do plan to write something for him in that universe too! I love all the boys obviously but I have a bad habit of writing for jakehoon all the time 🫣
Tbh I planned to write a lot more this summer. I wanted to get a few of my wips out last month but I think pumping out long fics from Feb through June burnt me out like crazy. So I’m taking my time for now. Hoping I get my flow back sometime soon so I can write more for Jay and Hee and maybe even some of the maknae line
Thanks for the lovee🤍🥹
jake.
please feed us some more of Second law :(
Babe I can only feed you if you guys tell me what more you want to read about in second law </3😓
I’ve been (slowly but surely) working on Heeseung’s fic in that universe but as for Jake’s story I genuinely dunno what more I would write about there
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT DID I READ
thank you for blessing my eyes with this literary masterpiece. i lost it everytime ni-ki called reader 'lady', and the way you described sunghoon is exactly the way i feel when i see him at 4 am
You read a plot I came up while wine drunk—which somehow became one of the more serious and psychologically complex things I’ve worked on in a while 😭 (and a work I’m lowkey very proud of)
Thank you for reading my love 🤍 it makes me so happy to see people enjoy Niki’s character as much as I enjoyed writing it. I always have to add a little bit of comedic relief otherwise I’ll cry
Writers block is a bitch
Haiii omg I just discovered your account and I'm devastated I didn't discover it sooner. Shout out to @enlov3vampxo for introducing your fic "till death do us apart" and I also have some theories on it so long rant ahead sorry 😭😭
Ok so first I have this theory about Sunghoons past that in the desperation of trying to save his wife from dying after he gave up on God, he stumbled across something forbidden that no human was meant to find and it turned him into a vampire. So here where it gets twisted after the evil overcame him he almost completely lost his humanity and the vampire urges over rode his humanity leading him to killing his wife.. cause in the fic it shows how hard it was for him to restrain himself around y/n so I can only imagine how strong the urges were when it was new to him. So it left him with an empty void and heavy guilt that made him see himself as the embodiment of sin and filth that's why when he met y/n he could really relate to her. So ok I believe maybe after that incident with his deceased wife he would, as a vampire, form contracts with humans to try and fill in that void and obviously feed but it was always pointless until he met y/n a girl stained with sin and guilt and he saw himself through her. That's when he knew only she can fill that hunger that void and she really brought out his human side id say. That's why he was always so desperate for her despite being centuries old. And so when she gave in to him and he fully released himself to her in the end, he saw no purpose of living seeing that his purpose was already fulfilled and that's why he let himself die in the end.
Theory no. 2 bare with me girl 😭
So I also have this theory about that one part when they were at his house and they both past out. So ok y/n says before passing out that he had full control over her body that's why she was unable to fight back lossing consciousness. Ok hear me out I feel like it was lwk the same with jake passing out. Hoon and jake had an indirect soul bond to each other thru y/n. Jake being thru marriage and loss of virginity with y/n and hoon being thru the contract. And that's why hoon would drink Jake's blood cause it had her remnants. So when jake passed out I feel like it was hoons doing too but he used the wine as a scapegoat so when jake wakes up he can blame it on the wine and doesn't suspect anything unusual.
Hellooo welcome🥹 I must confess I’ve actually seen some of your posts in the enhypen x reader tags you’ve always got me laughing
Ohhhh my gosh your first theory? The idea that he was the one who killed his wife? Genuinely genius and so on point. I love it so much more than what I was initially imagining. I absolutely agree that the soul contracts he had before yn were not the same. He is borderline obsessed with her because of how he sees himself in her and how she reminds him of himself when he was human. And to add to him having “fulfilled his purpose” I’d say that part of his purpose was also to corrupt her too. Because in his eyes, “corrupting” her is actually saving her from living a fake, dishonest life where she would be spending everyday convincing herself she is something she is not.
Theory 2: I purposely left this part kind of up to interpretation but your interpretation is one of the things I had been thinking, too. It wasn’t just wine that knocked Jake out he definitely had him in some kind of vampiric hypnosis state. And while he claims he was just feeding off of Jake for her her lingering scent (and as a threat) I do think drinking from Jake was certainly more filling than drinking from anyone else because like you said, the soul-bond. He feels yn’s love for Jake and so indirectly he feels that sort of love/bond for Jake too (I also like to imagine that maybe, had the circumstances been different, or maybe in another life, that him and Jake couldve been good friends).
‘𝑻𝒊𝒍 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑫𝒐 𝑼𝒔 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 ⟡ 𝓅.𝓈𝒽 ℰ 𝓈.𝒿𝓎
pairing ⟡ vampire!sunghoon x f!reader & husband!jake x f!reader
summary ⟡ Despite the night terrors that have haunted you for years, you’ve achieved everything a God-honouring woman should want: a husband who loves you dearly, a white picket fence, and the certainty of a perfect future together in your new quiet little town. However, a certain pale-faced neighbour reminds you a little too much of the eerie presence that plagues your restless nights.
18+ mdni ⚠︎ smut with plot, gothic horror/thriller, angst, hurt/comfort, small town au, established relationship (jake), vampire/human relationship (sunghoon), implied major character death, religious imagery & trauma, bible quotes, traditional gender roles & marriage, purity culture critique, loss of faith, slightly patronizing partner dynamic, night terrors, ambiguous ending, sexually repressed reader, infidelity, soul bonds, mildly obsessive love, dubcon: sexual coercion (via soul-contract), biting, blood drinking, physical restraint, vampire venom as aphrodisiac, animal death mentioned, predator/prey dynamic, multiple smut scenes, p in v sex, unprotected sex, handjobs, fingering, loss of virginity, slight somnophilia, dacryphilia, choking, rough sex, praise kink, mild degradation kink FEAT. niki as a vampire lore-obsessed teen
wc ⟡ 31.6k
inspo & creds ⟡ thank you so much to my lovely mutual @seongjesdoll who inspired me with their fic right here please go read it! this fic is also heavily inspired by Nosferatu.
a/n ⟡ this is very different from what I usually write but I adored experimenting with horror/thriller as a genre! this idea hit me like a truck months ago. this has been in the works for a while so I’m soso glad to finally share
please note ⟡ if you are uncomfortable with heavy subject matter such as dubcon, horror, death, themes of religion and purity culture… do not read this!
"...in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, do you promise to be faithful? To love him and to honour him all the days of your life?" "I do."
You'd waited for it since you were a young girl. To walk down the aisle, daylight seeping through stained-glass, in a dress of pure white. You'd imagined your hand in his, fingers intertwined, warmly encompassed in safety and certainty—your shared kiss in the chapel, a declaration of your promise not only to him, but to God. A husband, a family, love. The life every good girl prayed for. You prayed for it too, with your hands folded, head bowed, voice steady. But what you imagined most, in the silence after the amen, was the thing no prayer could sanctify. "...But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
Your Sunday school teacher had read the verse aloud with the patient severity of someone delivering a warning she hoped you'd never need. She'd looked at you, it seemed, and said that desire was a seed planted in the heart, that what began as a thought could grow into something monstrous, that a woman who let lust take root would one day reap a harvest of ruin. You'd nodded, hands neatly folded on the desk, terrified by the image of something dark and living growing inside you. You'd tried not to think about the heat already stirring in places you had no name for, the tiny seed you could already feel pressing against the soil of your heart, waiting to split open.
The truth was that while other girls spoke of their desires for true love, for the miracle of childbirth, and motherhood, you desired something too shameful to say aloud. Your mind always drifted to the impure. Instead of exchanging vows, you dreamed of how your future husband would lay you down the night after your wedding. You'd thought of how his hands would feel pressed against your bare skin, always hidden under long skirts and sleeves—his lips, worshiping you in places no good girl should dream of. How he'd relieve that ever present ache between your legs that never seemed to dissipate and claim your innocence. You'd thought of it so much, it began to rot you from the inside.
Many times, you'd held back tears during Sunday service, ashamed of the filth that plagued your mind in the holy place of worship of all places. The hymns would rise around you—Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabaoth—and you'd mouth the words while your thoughts drifted to the heat of an imagined touch, the weight of a body you'd never felt. You'd clench your thighs beneath your Sunday dress and beg God, silently, desperately, to scrub your mind clean.
In your sleepless nights, to avoid temptation, you'd rise from the bed, hands clasped together in prayer before your bedroom window. You'd leave it wide open, in hopes that the frigid wind would cool down the heat inside you. And though you trembled in your nightgown, goosebumps on every surface of your skin, it could never quite quell the fire that never burned out.
At first, you prayed for it to stop. You prayed for purity. Then, you prayed for numbness, believing you'd rather feel nothing at all. Alas, God granted neither, and you began to question which of the two dawning terrors was more catastrophic: the possibility that He wasn't listening at all, or the possibility that He simply did not care.
You knelt until your knees were bruised, you whispered prayers until they turned into sobbing pleas for mercy. There was only so much you could take until you began to lose faith—not just in God, but in yourself.
It was only then, in a moment of desperation, of utter helplessness, that you pleaded for something else:
"I beg of you," you whispered into the night, and whether it reached God, or for something else entirely, you did not care anymore. "If you cannot make this feeling stop, then I beg for relief." Through the white curtains, you felt a presence. There was no face, no silhouette, no sound other than the howling wind. Yet, you looked up, as if to meet someone's gaze. As if something stood there, watching you. A chill ran down your spine, and not as a result of the winter air seeping into your bones. You don't remember a voice. You do, however, remember a silent promise: relief, in exchange for you, eternally. Eternity. You knew what it meant. Heaven. Hell. The soul's unending life before God or in exile from Him. You were old enough to know better. Desperate enough not to care.
Every night, then after, he came to you in dreams. You envisioned bits and pieces: a tall silhouette, cold fingertips, an ever-present stare. You saw visions of your own blood dripping down your neck, staining your night clothes. You felt his sharp teeth pierce your flesh as he ravaged you, corrupted you, made a sin of your body and had you begging for more every single time.
Your eyes rolled back in ecstasy, your fingers curled around your bedsheets, and when it finished, you awoke in a cold sweat. You, alone. Your window, closed. And your body, still untouched, still sacred despite the obscene wetness between your thighs, and the way your body trembled from the aftermath of your high.
Relieved, you were, to no longer repress your lustful urges. Horrified, you were, to realize you'd given into your darkest desires, pleasure coaxed out of you by the hands of something sinister.
"Look at you. My beautiful wife." Jake hovers atop you, the cross at his neck hovering just above your face. Everything was as god intended. Two untouched children of the lord, about to make love on their marital bed, in a home they should hope to raise a family in. For the first time in many nights, the moonlight didn't feel so unholy. "My beautiful husband," you mirror his adoration, heart beating so fast you fear it might leap out of your chest. "I love you." His fingers lace with yours, his palms clammy and shaking. He's nervous, as are you. He'd told you as much before you even reached the bed. "I love you, too," he whispers.
He leans down to kiss you, different from the kiss you shared in the chapel. No longer did you have to settle for quick, chaste pecks. You feel his tongue, his desperation, years of pent-up desire reaching its limit.
Hand still interlocked with yours, he enters you slow and restrained, a gasp leaving his lips, as it does yours.
Everything is as it should be. As God said it should be. You should be overcome with joy. The world should still around you, heaven should open, and some sacred part of you should be remade forever.
It doesn't. The reality is much quieter. A body receiving another body, and nothing more.
Instead, you feel discomfort—sharp and immediate. And it’s not just the physical kind that mothers warn their daughters about before their wedding nights. Your skin crawls, your stomach tightens, and suddenly the world is collapsing. Everything aches. Your head, your heart, the space between your thighs where your body refuses to yield, refuses to feel, refuses to let you forget even for a moment that you belong to something else.
You can't help but think that your husband, basking in his euphoric glow, deserves someone untainted.
Tears stream down your cheeks before you can choke them back, and at the immediate sight of it, he pulls out of you. Cradling you in his arms, he soothes you, gently asks if he’s hurt you. If there’s anything he can do. You shake your head, your sobs turning to whispered apologies.
He holds you close all night, and you cling to him like you're trying to crawl under his skin, hoping Jake will shield you from the inevitable terrors of the night. Because you know, deep down, even after all of this, you'll still feel its presence in your dreams. Its cold, harsh grasp, its teeth, its predatory gaze.
But tonight, the boundary between dream and waking feels thin. As you lie awake, Jake softly snoring at your side, you feel it. That presence. That feeling you've never been able to explain, something better described as an instinct or a sixth sense. Through the window, half-lidded and drifting, you search for reassurance. Instead, you find a pair of eyes in the dark. A shadow, watching you. You jerk upright, heart hammering, but in the blink of an eye, with a flicker of movement, you find nothing.
“Sweetheart?” You hear Jake's groggy voice at your side, an arm tugging at yours, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just…” Your breath rises and falls, watching the tree branches drift with the howling wind, watching the snow pile up on the edge of the window. “Thought I saw something.”
He pulls you back down to the bed, kisses pressed to the back of your neck. You allow yourself to relax in his arms, the weight of slumber pulling you under.
You make it through the night. You always do. And this time, you wake up in a pair of warm, loving arms, rather than the shivering cold of your childhood twin bed, which you'd been accustomed to for years. You're thankful at least that in spite of your nightmares, your husband is a daydream.
A week was all you had for a honeymoon, if you could even call it that.
You'd told each other you didn't need a vacation. A honeymoon seemed frivolous when you already had everything you wanted: a house, a ring, a future together. You told each other there would be time for travel later. You have forever, after all.
So, straight into your new home you were, ready to build your life together. Your two weeks of time together were mostly spent unpacking boxes and pretending to help your husband build IKEA furniture. Really, you were mostly there to gawk at how attractive he looks when he gets mad at poorly designed instruction manuals.
Though the time slips through your fingers, and suddenly there are no more late mornings tangled in his arms, slow afternoons with nowhere to be, and evenings fumbling in the dark, learning the strange and sacred shape of intimacy.
You'd come to depend on the safety of his presence, the way his breathing beside you kept the dreams at bay. Selfishly, desperately, you did not want to lose it.
"Please don't leave," you whine like a child, rising from the bed.
He adjusts his tie in the full-length mirror at the corner of your bedroom, and your hands snake around his waist from behind, fingers clawing into the fabric of his shirt. You bury your face into his back, just breathing in his presence before you knew it'd inevitably slip away.
"And miss my first day at the office?" He chuckles, an amused smile playing at his lips.
Finished with his tie, he takes your hands, twirling you once before pulling you against him. His mouth finds your neck, then your jaw, then your lips. You melt into the shape of him, this body you're still learning, still marvelling at. But he pulls away all too soon.
"I can't support my wife and our future kids if I get myself fired."
"I know," you pout, following him out of the room, into the hall, hand still grasping his. "But what am I supposed to do here all alone?"
The question is smaller than the fear beneath it. While it is true that here, alone in a new neighbourhood without any real housework to be done yet, you're at a loss with what to do with your time, you both know the real reason why you're gripping his fingers like a child at the school gates: Your terrors, your anxieties and your skittish nature, once soothed and coddled by your parents, had now become Jake's responsibility to tend to, and you are petrified of being alone with your thoughts for the first time in your life.
"You could call your family?" He glances back at you as you both descend the stairs, his hand sliding along the banister.
"My mom has called me every day since the wedding," you deadpan.
He huffs a laugh and turns into the front hall. You reach the coat rack before he does, fetching his coat while he sits on the bench to lace his boots.
"You could go into town?"
"By myself?" You try to make it sound like a joke. It doesn't work.
He stands. You hold the coat open behind him, and he slides his arms in with a small, grateful sound. Then his gaze drifts past you, through the glass of the front door, to the house across the street. A mother is sending her children off, their school bags bright against the white, snowy morning.
"What if you go around and meet the neighbours?"
It isn't a terrible idea. In fact, trying to make new friends in the neighbourhood is what you should be trying to do, as a new couple looking to start their life there. And though ideally, you'd prefer to have your much more socially competent husband alongside you to do the task, you suppose it's about time you start facing your fears alone.
One messy kitchen and a batch of cookies later, you're wrapping up a small bag for each house on your small, quiet street, smiling behind your wool scarf as you ring the bell to the house across the street.
The first house is easy. A middle-aged couple, grateful and brief. The second is an elderly man who mistakes you for a door-to-door salesman. The third, a woman with six cats and one furious white Persian that hisses at you through the screen door until you retreat.
It all blurs together until you reach the end of the street, with only one bag and one house remaining.
You'd be lying if you said you hadn't saved this house for last. Something about it triggered that feeling inside you that you'd grown used to. A dark curiosity that you'd come to fear.
It isn't just the architecture either. Every home on this street is old. That was part of the appeal, why you and Jake had chosen to live here. You preferred something real, something with history. This one, however, feels like the kind of history you don't want to pry into. The kind of spookiness that children sense from the sidewalk and dare their friends to go up to, just to knock on the door and run before anyone answers.
It towers over the neighbouring roofs as if to assert its dominance, shouldering them aside. You don't like the way the entire premise was encompassed by a black, metal gate, and you like it even less now as the sun begins to set—one of the many unfortunate parts about winter; how the sun sets late afternoon, allowing the dark to creep up on you too soon. You hate the dark.
It's all just in your head, surely. Every house in this neighbourhood has an older look and feel, and you're certain that the people living in there are nothing but normal—perhaps even kind. All you have to do is ring the bell, give them the cookies, and leave. It's no big deal.
You nearly laugh at yourself out loud. You're a grown adult, for god's sake, there is no reason to be scared.
With a falsely confident stride, you push past the gates, walking across a jagged cobblestone path. Though you tremble with each step.
Something doesn't feel right, but you remind yourself it's as real as your nightmares—which is to say, not real at all. Your nightmares, the years of psychological torment, it's all in your head. It always has been.
With the sun just about dipping below the horizon, you ring the doorbell, standing before the heavy double doors. You then knock and, for a second, you are relieved to hear nothing back until the doors open with a loud groan. Though you don't see anyone at all, eyes carefully scanning the dimly lit entryway. Your hands curl around the bag in your hands.
"Hello?" You call out, not yet taking a step. "I'm the new neighbour from across the street.”
Silence.
“I… I made cookies.” Your voice echoes into the hall, and you swallow your nerves. “But, if you don't want to be bothered, I totally understand. I can just leave here and be on my way."
You wait a few seconds, hovering in the doorway, and the silence stretches.
You want to leave. Every part of you is screaming at you to turn on your heel and run far, far away. But they'd opened the door for you. You'd made your presence known already. You're standing right there with the cookies in your hand, for God's sake. You can’t just leave now.
Briefly, you wonder what Jake would do. He'd probably walk in with a confident stride and a smile. He'd charm them easily, have them laughing in minutes and get swept up in conversation for hours.
Stupid, you think. You're fine. Completely fine. Just go inside.
You glance around again. The shoe room is empty, save for a small table that stands just beside the door, close enough. And in a split second, you devise your plan: You’ll set them down and immediately leave with your obligations fulfilled, and avoid seeming like a rude, doorbell-ditching neighbour. It’s perfect. Foolproof. Simple.
You step forward, arm extending toward the table, already planning your retreat.
Then the door slams shut behind you.
"Welcome."
The voice comes from directly behind you. You spin, a strangled sound catching in your throat, and there he is—a silhouette pooled in the darkness beside the doorframe, so close you don't understand how you missed him. He must have opened the door. He must have been standing there the whole time, shielded by the shadow of the door, watching you step past him.
"My apologies," he says, stepping aside, the candlelight giving you a proper view of his face. "I've just woken up, and my eyes are sensitive to the sun. I did not mean to startle you,"
Though your heart is pounding through your chest, and you feel like your legs will give out at any moment, you are oddly comforted by his the sight of him. A young man, tall and pale, not much older than yourself and quite strikingly beautiful. You've never seen his face before, though you think it looks strangely familiar, as if you've known him a long time. You’re staring. And though you are aware of it, you don’t tear your gaze away.
"Are these for me?" He looks down at your hand, where you hold your cookies close to your chest.
Wordlessly, you nod, extending your hand. Though you don't expect him to lower his head, his face dipping towards your outstretched hand, the tip of his nose barely grazing the pulse at your wrist.
He inhales.
The sound is soft, barely audible, and his eyes close for a fraction of a second.
They open again, and they find yours, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. There’s a sharpness to his gaze, and it cuts straight through the cold, a dull, traitorous warmth blooming in your lower stomach.
"Smells delicious."
"Thank you," you squeak, shrinking under his gaze.
"My dear," his head tilts, brows furrowing, "You're trembling. You must've been out in the cold a while."
"Yes, well..." You glance toward the door. "Well, I—"
"I would hate to send you back out there." He takes the bag from your hands before you can finish, the motion smooth, unhurried. "Why don't you stay for tea?"
"Oh! Gosh, no, I couldn't possibly impose—"
"I insist."
As if he were commanding you, you find yourself staying, seated on an old-looking couch, the fireplace cackling, warming your chilled hands. Though it does nothing to ease your trembling. The grandfather clock in the corner ticks every second.
Soon, a small teacup is set down in front of you, as he pours both of you a cup from the pot. You look up as he sits himself across from you, face to face, and your palms dig into the couch cushion.
"I must admit, I'm quite delighted to have a visitor," he crosses one leg over the other, his posture upright, poised. It makes you straighten yourself out, embarrassed by your poor manners. "It's been a very long time. You said you moved here across the street?"
"Ah, Yes. My husband and I just moved." You raised your hand to show your ring finger. "Actually, we also just got married."
"Newlyweds. Congratulations," his voice is smooth, "What made the two of you move here?"
"Well, we're not from too far. Just across the southern river. And we looked at houses closer to home but... Something about this neighbourhood felt right. So we decided to start our life here." you smile briefly at the memory, "It's quieter here. Better for raising children—well, eventually, of course. Hopefully."
You falter, the mention of children suddenly feeling far too intimate for a conversation with a man you met three minutes ago. There's a brief, expressionless pause before his mouth curves into a smile.
"It is a nice neighbourhood." He hums in agreement, "Very safe."
"Exactly."
The conversation lulls, and you use the moment to glance around the room. It's grand, immaculate, every piece of furniture polished to a dark gleam. There's no clutter. No photographs on the mantle. No second mug drying on the drainboard. The silence of the house surrounds you, deep and undisturbed.
Your eyes drift back to him. His hands were folded neatly around his teacup. Pale, long-fingered, ever so still. No ring.
It catches you off guard. A man like this, who is wealthy, well-spoken, and irrefutably beautiful in a way that makes your stomach feel strange, and yet he lives alone in a house like this. There should be a wife. There should be children.
Unless there's something wrong with him.
The thought surfaces before you can stop it. You're being judgmental. He's been nothing but polite. He invited you in from the cold. He made you tea. If he's a bachelor, that's his business. Maybe he's shy, maybe he prefers solitude, maybe he's simply never found the right person.
You don't ask. A married woman doesn't comment on another man’s status. The whole line of thought is dangerous, a door you shouldn’t open.
His eyes are on you now, steady and watchful. Too watchful.
You drop your gaze to your untouched teacup to distract yourself, and the grandfather clock ticks.
Then, he laughs. Sheepishly, you watch as he takes a sip of his tea.
"I did not poison it, I promise,” he says, setting the cup down with a clink.
"Oh!" You gape, "No, no. I did not think—I mean, I did not mean to offend you, Mr. ...?"
"Please, call me Sunghoon."
"Sunghoon, then," you let out a sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm easily startled or, as my husband would say, 'a bit of a scaredy-cat,' but I really do appreciate you inviting me in."
"No offence taken. I understand. This is a pretty scary house," he laughs lightly, his voice dropping ever slightly, "and you are a vulnerable young lady."
You laugh nervously at his last comment, certain that he intended well. But it only makes you feel uneasy. Instinctively, your hand goes to the dainty cross at your neck. A habit you'd developed over the years.
"That is to say, you have every right to have your suspicions. And if I were your husband, I wouldn't take your safety so lightly." You don't miss the way his eyes move from you, down to your neck, "He is a very lucky man."
His eyes remain on your throat. You can feel them there, cool and steady, like a fingertip resting just above your pulse. The cross seems to warm under his attention—or perhaps that's your skin, flushing with a heat you don't want to name. Your fingers stay wrapped around the little gold chain, clutching it as if it can shield you from something you can't quite see.
Stop it, you tell your body. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
You hold it so tightly the edges bite into your palm. A penance. A reminder. You are a woman of God. You are pure. You are—
"A woman of faith, I see."
The fire pops, and a log shifts, sending a shower of sparks up the chimney. You flinch. He doesn't react. In fact, you aren't sure that you've seen him move at all, his body as still as a statue.
"Of course," you reply as naturally as you can sound, "...aren't you?"
"If I say I am not," he raises a brow, "What then?"
You pause, drawing a breath that feels too shallow and force your lips into something resembling a smile.
"Well," you swallow, "God did say to love your neighbour."
"Ah, Mark twelve, verse thirty-three." Sunghoon's smile doesn't waver. "To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbour as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."
The verse hangs in the air, complete and precise, and the tension in your shoulders eases, if only a little.
"So you are a believer."
"I believe in many things." His voice is soft, almost musing. "I believe in life after death. I believe in sinners and saints. I believe some of us, while we may try to convince ourselves otherwise, do not belong in the light."
He then pauses, and you swear you watch his smile curl into something wicked, before he continues.
"I believe prayers can be answered. Especially the ones laced with shame, whispered breathlessly in the night."
Your teacup rattles, the sound too loud in the quiet room. You set it down, but your fingers are shaking so badly the porcelain nearly slips. The cold that has been hovering at the edges of you since you walked through the door now settles deep in your bones.
You look at Sunghoon, your eyes meeting his lingering, far too intense stare. The horrible ache inside of you, the one you've come to know all too well, the one that has haunted your dreams for years, begins to wake from its slumber.
Something is wrong. His demeanour. The way he doesn't seem to breathe or blink or move at all. His presence. The way he looks at you like he owns you, and how that look makes your thighs clench, an inexplicable heat overtaking you.
You nearly jump out of your skin when the grandfather clock strikes the sixth hour.
"Oh!" You laugh nervously, an attempt to conceal the small yelp that escaped you. "Look at the time! I should really go."
"So soon?"
"Yes! My husband should be arriving soon, so..."
You are scrambling for the door, heart thumping in your chest as he follows close behind. Picking up the pace, you grab your coat from the rack near the door. But before you can grab the knob and swing the door open, you feel his presence behind you, cold and seemingly lifeless. You turn.
"It was lovely meeting you," he takes your trembling hand in his, "I hope to see you again, soon."
He lifts your hand as if to kiss it. Though he doesn't. Not yet.
You hear the soft sound of an inhale, barely there, but unmistakable, a slow, shuddering breath. His eyes flutter half-closed, and you blink, frozen in fear, wondering for a brief second if your mind is playing tricks on you, or if he really just sniffed you like some kind of animal.
He then kisses your hand, his lips just barely grazing your knuckles, featherlight. You should feel horror. You should feel disgust. Both are there, you suppose, but beneath it lies something far more shameful.
In the still, empty silence, you let out the tiniest, neediest whimper.
It lingers long enough for both of you to process what exactly you had just done.
He looks up at you through his lashes with a grin, like the most beautiful predator you'd ever laid your eyes on. And, though you can't quite tell in the dim candlelight, you think the canines peeking out the edge of his smile look rather sharp.
With that look permanently etched into your mind, you run. No other words exchanged, no farewell. You’re sprinting back down the street to your place, as fast as your feet can take you, not sparing a single glance behind.
A sigh of relief, though it sounds more like a sob, escapes you when you see Jake’s car in the driveway.
Your hands tremble so violently the keys skitter against the lock, and when the door gives, you throw yourself inside, slam it shut, press your spine to the wood like you're holding back a flood. You breathe in and out. In and out. Chest rising and falling with every breath. Exactly how Jake had taught you to do every time your fears crept up on you too quickly.
"Jake?"
The house is completely dark, and only the silence whispers back. You take off your boots, your coat, throwing them to the side without care as you move. The floorboards creak beneath your feet, and the panic you had only just quelled begins to rise again.
"Jake, where are you?" You try again, this time a bit louder.
You check the living room. The dining room. The kitchen. Then, on shaky legs, you carry yourself upstairs, hand sliding against the railing as you make your way to the bedroom. Still, not a soul to be found. Your hands grip the doorway, nails digging into the wooden frame as you choke down your heavy breaths, blinking away the tears that threaten your eyes.
A pair of arms wrap around you from behind, and the scream that leaves you is almost inhuman.
"It's just me!"
You thrash around in his grasp, and Jake immediately lets go.
He steps back, palms raised, face slack with shock and guilt. You're shaking violently now, heaving as a single tear falls from your eyes.
"Just me, sweetheart." His voice drops, taking your hand in his and guiding you to the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have scared you like that. That's my fault, I'm—"
You don't let him finish. You collapse into him, and he catches you without hesitation, his arms folding around your trembling form as you curl into his lap. He presses his lips to the crown of your head.
"Don't ever do that again."
"I won't." He murmurs into your hair, "Cross my heart, I never will."
You're sobbing into his chest as he whispers I'm sorries and I love yous—Over and over, until the words blur into a rhythm as steady as his heartbeat beneath your ear. You latch onto him like he's your lifeline. He is warm and solid and alive, and you cling to him with a desperation that should embarrass you but doesn't.
Only when your breathing steadies do you finally find the strength to speak.
"I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too."
"I missed you more." Your voice cracks on the last word, and you feel the tears threatening again.
"Shh. It's okay. I'm right here. It's okay." He smooths a hand down your hair, your back. "What happened, sweetheart? Did something happen? Why were you outside?"
"I..." you trail off, unsure how to even proceed as you sniffle. "I went to meet the neighbours... and... the house at the corner. The man there, he..."
It sounds ridiculous when you try to rationalize it in your head, and would probably sound even more ridiculous if you tried to say it out loud.
Sunghoon didn't technically do anything wrong. He only looked at you in ways that made you feel wrong. He said some things that could be interpreted as threatening, though he said it in a polite tone. He kissed your hand and had maybe sniffed you, if you even remember it properly, or if that's just your terrified, panicked brain making things up. He also made you whimper, but that certainly isn't something you can tell your husband.
The memory of it makes you let out another sob, feeling utterly pathetic and ashamed in his arms.
"Hey, talk to me," his voice drops, "What did he do?"
Swallowing your guilt, you pick up the pieces of the truth you can stomach to say aloud.
"The way he was looking at me, it was—he kissed my hand, and—" you stammer, "I don't know. I don't know how to explain."
You can feel Jake exhale.
"Okay," he says calmly, matter-of-factly, taking in the information, "A creepy neighbour tried to hit on you? Is that it?"
Hitting on you. The phrase doesn't quite capture the feeling of being hunted, like a lamb who wandered aimlessly within a predator's reach.
You don't correct him, though. You nod your head, breathing heavy into his grasp as he smooths down the back of your head, holding you tight.
"I'm sorry," you feel the vibration of his voice against his chest. "You want me to talk to him? Scare him off, a bit?"
You picture that predatory gaze, the eyes of something sinister—something demonic. Then you look to your husband: warm and bright and too good for this world. Your husband is the safest, strongest, and most capable man you know. Still, you are strangely terrified at the thought of letting him go there alone.
"I just want you to stay here. With me." You say, simply, "That's all I want."
"I'll always be here. Forever," he hums, circling your wedding ring, dragging your palm flat along his chest until it rests just above his heart, "That's what I promised to you. 'Til death do us part."
You close your eyes. You try to let the steady thrum of his heartbeat drown out everything else. Safe, you tell yourself. I'm safe. He's here. I'm safe.
It doesn't work. What exactly are you safe from? From a man who only looked at you? From a feeling that had started long before you ever set foot in that house?
The heat is still there, coiled low in your belly, waiting. It doesn't care that you're in your husband's arms. It doesn't care that you want it gone. It's been awakened, and it won't be going back to sleep.
You press your thighs together. You're still hot. Too hot. Jake doesn't notice right away, holding you in his arms, his hand still covering yours above his heart.
Your husband pulls back, cupping your face in his hands.
"You're burning up." He says gently, brows furrowed in pure-hearted concern. "You're really warm. Are you getting sick? You were out in the cold for a while, weren't you?"
You open your mouth to answer, but he beats you to it.
"Maybe we should just order takeout tonight. You should rest. I'll warm you a bath, and we can rent a movie. How does that sound?" His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, his eyes searching your face for clues he doesn't know how to read. "I can call in sick tomorrow, and—"
"Jake."
Your eyes drop to his lips. You're still curled in his lap, your breath shallow, your thighs pressed together beneath your skirt. It takes him a second or two for his expression to shift.
Your mouth is on his before he can speak, hot and heavy, desperate to suppress the dark, deviant desire that refuses to leave you alone. You can't help yourself. Not when you're sitting in his lap like this, your arousal and guilt unrelenting.
He goes rigid, a startled sound catching in his throat. This isn't how you kiss. You never kissed him like this before you were married, and you certainly hadn't after, either.
Every night you've shared so far has been nothing but gentle and loving, always handling you with the care one would give a porcelain doll. He had learned of your fragility and your fears long before he ever learned your body, and made love to you the only way he knew how: carefully, tenderly. As if your pleasure was a gift to be earned and not a hunger you already carry.
Tonight, though, you kiss him with the kind of hunger a sexually repressed Catholic boy can only dream of—the kind he was taught to repent for, to pray away. You moan against his lips, the sound raw and almost wounded, clawing open his shirt and grinding against his hips like it's the only thing you need right now.
"Hey—hey, slow down." His hands close gently over yours, stilling them. His eyes search your face, wide and careful. "We don't have to—are you okay? You were just crying, and I don't want you to feel like—"
You shake your head. All you want is that horrible ache inside you to be gone, fucked away by the man you love, the man you married. You pull your hands free and push him back onto the bed. He goes willingly, propped on his elbows, still watching you with that tender, uncertain concern.
"Baby, I'm serious." Jake's voice cracks. His hands hover at your waist, twitching and uncertain. "I don't need—ah—are you sure you want this right now?" The words tumble out of him, broken and breathless, even as his hips rise to meet yours. His body knows what it wants. His mind is still catching up. "You don't have to do this for me—"
"It's for me." Your voice is low, almost like a growl, and his eyes widen.
You reach for the hem of your own dress first and pull it over your head. The fabric catches for a moment on your ear, on your elbow, and the clumsiness of it makes you want to scream. Then it's gone, discarded somewhere on the floor, and you're working at the clasp of your bra while Jake stares up at you with parted lips and dawning disbelief.
He reaches up again, hand hovering a moment before moving to yours, trying to still or slow your moments, but this time you slap them away. Your hands make quick work of his pants, as you do your own, and without a second to spare, you're staring down at his half-hard length, holding the weight of him in your clumsy, still inexperienced hand. You carefully watch his expression, brows knitted, lips parted, and when you tighten your grip ever slightly as you stroke him, he's thrusting up into your hand.
"Shit." He breathes.
You shift forward, lining him up with your entrance. Your underwear is still on—you realize this too late, and the awkwardness of shoving the damp fabric aside makes your face flush. But you don't stop. You sink down onto him, and the stretch steals your breath.
You sigh at the stretch, not used to taking all of him so quickly—not used to being on top, either, and your eagerness momentarily subsides, taking a moment to adjust. Then, with the awkwardness you'd expect of two adults who only started having sex a few weeks ago, you start to move, hands pressed down against his chest. He gazes up in awe, hands twitching at his sides before moving to your hips.
"Holy shit," he manages, the words repeating in broken moans, desperately containing himself from falling apart right there as he watches you, his gorgeous wife, take him with a newfound hunger. He looks wrecked already, his jaw tight with the effort of holding back. "If you keep moving like that—"
His hands tighten, slowing you. He's trying to pace you, trying to protect you from yourself, and the unbearable, oblivious tenderness of it is the last thing you can stand.
"Jake." Your voice comes out sharp, breathless, a frown tugging at your lips. "For God's sake. I'm not going to break. Just fuck me."
There's a moment of pure shock that lingers, and he goes still. Very still. A part of you almost regrets it. Maybe you frightened him. Maybe you've shown a side of yourself that you were never supposed to show, and now he'll never look at you the same.
He exhales a long, shaky breath.
His hands slide from your hips to your waist, then down to your thighs, gripping with an ownership he's never allowed himself before. He thrusts up into you once, testing, and when you gasp, he does it again. Harder. Your head falls back. A moan spills from your lips, and the sound seems to unlock something in him. "Fuck," he breathes. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves you, setting a rhythm that is no longer careful, no longer restrained. You try to match it, but you're still clumsy, still learning, and after a few desperate, off-beat thrusts, he makes a low sound in his throat and flips you onto the mattress.
Your face falls into the pillow. His hand presses between your shoulder blades, arching your back, and then he's inside you again—deeper this time, fuller. The moan you let out is almost a sob. He pulls back and slams into you, and you feel the curve of his grin against the shell of your ear.
"You like this?" His voice is low, but still laced with that concern he always wears. There's a genuine curiosity to his question, a disbelief that lingers. "You like it rough?"
"Please," your desperate voice is muffled in the pillow, "harder, please."
He makes a sound, something between a laugh and a guttural groan, and his hand spreads warm across the small of your back.
"Look at you," he murmurs, almost to himself. "God, look at you. My wife."
He pulls back slowly, letting you feel every inch of him leaving you, and the anticipation is its own kind of torment. When he thrusts back in, it's deep and full, and the gasp you let out is his name. He does it again. And again.
His hand fists the sheets beside your head. His forehead drops to the curve of your neck.
"Fuck—" His voice is ragged, almost disbelieving. "You're really—I can't—"
His thrusts grow deeper, harder, his hand pressing into the arch of your back as he drives into you with an indulgence he's never allowed himself. You can feel the tension, the pressure building. His name falls from your lips in fragments, and he answers with his body—faster, deeper, more.
"That's it," he breathes, and the pride in his voice is new, too. He's proud of this. Proud of what he's doing to you. Proud of you. "I've got you."
You clench around him, crying out when he hits that spot inside you just right, clawing at the pillows beneath you. The orgasm seizes you and doesn't let go, and he feels it. Every pulse, every shudder. His rhythm falters and then breaks entirely.
His voice cracks, high and wrecked, and he buries himself to the hilt and stills, his whole body going rigid against your back. Then he's coming, too. Deep inside you, his hips jerking with each pulse, his groan a long, ragged thing that vibrates through you. He keeps thrusting, fucking his cum back into you, riding it out until he's shaking, until he's spent, until his forehead drops to the nape of your neck and his breath comes in great heaving gasps against your sweat-damp skin.
For a long moment, neither of you moves. He's still inside you, and you can feel his cum between your thighs, still draped over you, his chest pressed to your back so you can feel the hammer of his heart. Your body hums. The world is quiet. The only sound is your breathing, slowly finding the same rhythm.
Then he laughs.
It starts as a breathless little thing against your neck, almost disbelieving, until it blooms into something utterly delighted. His arms slide around your waist, and he pulls you with him as he rolls onto his side, still buried inside you, his face pressed to the curve of your shoulder.
"Who are you," he breathes, "and what have you done with my wife?"
He's grinning. You can feel it against your skin. His hand is flat across your stomach, holding you close, and he presses a kiss to the crook of your neck.
"Seriously. What was—what's gotten into you?"
You turn in his arms, just enough to see his face. He's flushed, pleased, his eyes half-lidded and warm.
You snuggle into his chest, pressing your cheek to the warm plane of his sternum, and his arms fold around you automatically.
"Missed you," you whisper.
"Clearly." The word is thick with satisfaction, his voice still rough and low. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. "Must've been real lonely, huh? Waiting for me to come home."
“Never leave again. Please."
He laughs softly, pulling you tighter against his chest. The sound rumbling through his chest beneath your ear. His hand moves in slow, soothing strokes down your spine.
"Sweetheart, if this is what I come home to, you couldn't drag me out that door." He presses a kiss to your hair. "I'll quit tomorrow. Become a stay-at-home husband. Live right here in this bed forever."
His breathing deepens, slows. His hand stills on your back. Within minutes, he's asleep, his lips still curved in the ghost of that grin, his body warm and heavy and trusting against yours.
You don't sleep. You can't. The satisfaction is already fading, replaced by the old familiar ache—a low thrum beneath the surface, waiting. You know the dreams will come tonight. You know what waits for you in the dark. But for now, you let yourself be held. For now, his heartbeat under your ear is louder than the guilt. For now, that's enough.
Like clockwork, the dream arrives. Tangled in your husband's arms, you glance to the window, feeling that same presence you always do, tainting your mind with lustful images you could not escape.
Except that tonight, the shadow has a face.
You've never seen a face in your dreams before. For years, the presence has been nothing but sensation—cold hands, sharp teeth, a voice without sound. A silhouette at the edge of your sleeping vision, tall and still. Never eyes you could look into.
Sunghoon's face materializes out of the dark. First the eyes, dark and depthless, then the sharp planes of his face, then the mouth that curved against your knuckles and made you whimper. He looks exactly as he did in the candlelight. Beautiful. Predatory. Waiting.
Why him? You wonder, visions of his lips at your neck invading your mind. Why now?
Though in your dreaming state, you don't have much time to ponder such questions. You're too consumed by the image of those sharp canines that you swore you saw, sinking into your flesh, his hands wandering the length of your body. You don't flinch. In the dream, you arch toward him. You offer him your neck. You come undone with his name on your lips, only a whisper in the night.
You wake with a gasp, still tangled in your husband's embrace, slick between your legs. Though Jake doesn't stir. His breathing is deep and even, his body warm and trusting against yours.
The ghost of your dream lingers, and you press your palm to your mouth to hold back the sob building in your chest.
Dawn comes pale and grey through the curtains, but you're already awake. You couldn't go back to sleep, no matter how hard you tried. So you stop trying. You slip carefully from the bed and pad barefoot to the shower.
You rinse yourself under scalding hot water as if scrubbing every inch of yourself could wash the dream away. You fold Jake's work clothes into a neat pile on the dresser—a reminder that you are a loving, faithful wife and not whatever your dreams make you out to be.
In the kitchen, the coffee machine clicks and hisses. You stand at the window with your empty mug in your hands, and before you've made the conscious decision to look, your eyes have found it. The house. His house.
Just looking at it makes your blood run cold.
You can't help but wonder why every curtain remains drawn, despite the large, beautiful windows. You wonder why he mentioned having "just woken up," though you'd visited him late afternoon—almost evening—yesterday. You think of the way he looked at you, sharp, calculated, like a predator who'd caught its prey. And those teeth, which now that you're thinking back, most certainly had to be sharp, like the ones in your dreams.
Curtains drawn. Cold hands. Sharp teeth.
"Morning, baby," Jake's groggy voice is heard from the hallway, heavy footsteps pattering into the kitchen.
You turn to greet your husband with a broken smile. He chases your lips for a kiss, hands at your waist as they slide down the length of your nightgown with a newfound ease—remnants of last night's confidence still lingering in his touch. You jump in his grasp, a sound of surprise caught in your throat, but you both turn your heads at the beep of the coffee machine.
He pours you a cup first, and you try to focus on his words, you really do. However, his complaints of a passive-aggressive boss and abundantly vague emails fall on deaf ears as your hands tighten around the warmth of your coffee mug, eyes unwillingly and unhelpfully drifting to the window every few seconds.
You hear your name on his lips, but only process it once his hand reaches out to rest atop yours.
"You're spacing out." His thumb moves in slow circles over your knuckles, "Everything alright? Or am I just talking your ear off?"
"Just... tired."
"That makes two of us," he smiles, the two of you sharing a playful look. But he's still watching you, still reading the tension in your shoulders. "Talk to me, sweetheart. I'm here."
Your thumb traces the rim of your mug, and then, before you can talk yourself out of it.
"Do you believe in supernatural things?" You start hesitantly, "Not just God, obviously, but... other things...?"
Your husband takes a slow, pensive sip of his coffee.
"This is about your dreams again, isn't it?"
He gives you that look. The same one your mother and father used to give you at the mention of your nightmares. Sympathetic, but doubtful.
You look down, and he sighs, lifting your hand to his lips. The kiss is gentle and warm, though you shudder regardless.
"Remind me. How long have you been having these dreams, again?"
"Years."
"Years," he echoes, "And how many times, in all these years, have any of your dreams ever hurt you? Really hurt you?"
You sigh, shoulders slumping, a quiet relief blooming in your chest at the sight of his easy, gentle smile. The sunrise peeks through the window just enough to cast a golden glow across his face. His brown eyes and honey skin, now illuminated, were warm and familiar like the fresh cup of coffee in front of you that you had yet to touch.
"They haven't."
"Then I think it's safe to say that whatever it is you're afraid of, that's just your extra creative brain coming up with new reasons to freak out." he taps your head, and you roll your eyes, cracking a smile of your own. "None of it is real. It can't hurt you."
You kiss him goodbye at the door, your worries soothed momentarily as you watch his car disappear around the corner. But soon after, as you're reaching into the sink to work on a day-old pile of dishes, you can't help but watch the house at the corner. You watch all morning. Not a single soul exits or enters the home.
The town library is exactly what you'd expect. The air is stiff, the scent of old books and dust, and an old woman behind the front counter glares at you over the rims of her glasses, like she’s waiting for a reason to shush you.
You hadn't meant to come here. You were going to do errands. That's what you told yourself, anyway. But your feet carried you straight past the grocery store and straight through the heavy oak doors of the town library. And now, you wandered aimlessly through the aisles, unsure of what exactly you're looking for.
Dreams. You find a nonfiction book on dreams. You pull it from the shelf and flip to a chapter on nightmares. The author theorizes that our deepest fears materialize in our sleep, that the subconscious paints faces onto the things that frighten us most. A stranger who unsettled you. A presence that made you feel unsafe. The brain takes what it can't process during the day and works through it at night.
It makes sense. It's rational. He frightened you with that unsettling look in his eyes and his words, and your dreams gave him a form. It's a natural psychological response.
Then the book goes on to list common nightmare archetypes. The falling dream. The dream of being chased. The dream of being naked in public. Nowhere does it mention the dream where a stranger touches you between your legs, their lips on yours, then at your neck, or why you might envision them sinking their teeth into your flesh and drinking your blood. Nowhere does it account for the way your body responded.
Snapping the book shut and shoving it back on the shelf, you continue drifting with a little more purpose now. Past Town Records. Past Local Histories. Past a whole shelf of sermon collections by long-dead Reverends. Your fingers trail the spines, but you don't stop.
You turn down a narrow aisle in the back corner, away from the windows, away from the light.
The titles swimming into focus are older, darker, their spines cracked and their pages yellowed. Supernatural Histories. The Undead: A Historical Overview. Vampires Among Us.
Your hand reaches for one before your mind can stop it, failing to notice the pair of legs, long and lanky, stretched across the aisle, which blocks your path.
"Oh—!" You nearly trip, steadying yourself against the shelf.
A teenager is wedged between the shelves and the wall. He doesn't even look up. His head is bowed over a thick, hardcover book that looks older than time itself, and the sound of heavy drums and electric guitar bleeds from the headphones clamped over his ears. His school uniform is rumpled, tie loose, blazer nowhere in sight. His hair is jet-black except for a single bleached strand.
You clear your throat.
Nothing.
You clear it again, louder.
He turns a page.
"Excuse me…." You say a little more sternly this time, hands at your hips. "Shouldn't you be in school...?” You pause, glancing at his open backpack, at the name on his notebooks. "…Niki?"
He takes his time glancing up, eyes dragging over you with the lazy, unimpressed scrutiny only a teenager can manage. He takes in the sensible skirt. The ironed blouse. The cross at your neck. One pierced eyebrow lifts a fraction. He pulls his headphones down to his neck, his music a low hum.
"Shouldn't you be in the erotica section, or something?" He retorts, rolling his eyes.
"What?" You gape.
"Just saying." He gestures vaguely at you. "You've got the whole... repressed housewife look."
"You—" You give up halfway through your sentence, deciding your time shouldn't be spent exchanging comebacks with a boy who hasn't even graduated yet.
He goes back to his book, a ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You step over his legs, which he doesn't move an inch, and try to ignore him, scanning the shelf in front of you until you find the book you had your eyes on before. Locating it, you reach.
"Isn't the occult, like, the devil to you people?"
Your hand stops mid-air, and you turn. He's watching you now, the book in his lap forgotten.
"I'm just looking."
"Sure. Just looking." He closes his book finally, giving you his full attention for the first time, and you immediately wish he hadn't. "Listen, lady. Vampire smut's two aisles down. No judgment. I'm not your pastor."
"I already said—" The flush crawls up your neck. "I'm not—I would never—"
"You'd never," he repeats, flat. "Right. So what are you looking for in this section? A cookbook?"
Your hand is still frozen in the air, fingers hovering over the spine of a book with a lurid, painted cover. A woman in a torn nightgown, fainting into the arms of a dark figure with glowing eyes.
"I wanted to... research something.”
"Research.”
You nod weakly.
He pauses a moment, like he’s analyzing you. Then his whole expression shifts.
"Wait. For real? You're not just messing with me?" His eyes are wide now, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. It makes him appear even younger than he is, his mood brightening with childlike excitement. "You're actually researching vampires? Like, the lore? The real stuff? You're not just looking for sexy billionaire novels?"
"I don't know anything about sexy billionaires—"
"Oh my god." He scrambles to his feet, all gangly limbs and sudden, startling height, and you take an instinctive step back. His face is absolutely alight. "Oh my god, that's sick. That's actually so sick. Nobody in this town cares about this stuff. Everybody here just thinks I'm some freak who—" He stops himself, clears his throat. "Okay. Okay. So. What do you want to know?"
He's already pulling books off the shelf before you can come up with an answer, scanning spines with the practiced eye of someone who has memorized every title.
"Okay, so. First of all, don't touch that one." He jabs a finger at the book you'd been reaching for. "Complete garbage. The guy just makes stuff up. Zero sources."
"You've read it?"
"I've read everything on this shelf." He says it with pride and a slight shrug. He pulls down a thick volume bound in dark blue cloth, its cover embossed with a faded silver symbol you don't recognize. "You want this one. Written by a Victorian occultist. Genuine primary sources. He gets into the super niche stuff most modern books ignore."
"Niche stuff?"
"Yeah, like. The running water barrier—they can't cross it. Like rivers and lakes. Which is wild. And the mirror thing? It's not that they don't have reflections, it's that old mirrors were backed with silver, and silver's purifying. So the reflection was there, just corrupted. Sort of." He's talking faster now, words tripping over each other. "And then there's the soul-contract stuff, which is the real deep lore. Most people don't even know about it."
"Soul-contracts?"
"Oh, you have to hear about this." He grins, clearly delighted to have an audience. "Okay, so—vampires need blood, right? And most of them have to hunt for it. Every meal. Every night. That's a lot of work. So some of them, the older ones, the smart ones, they figured out a more... efficient system."
He flips through the book, looking for a page.
"They find a human who's desperate. Like, really desperate. And they make a deal. The human offers themselves up—their blood, their life force, whatever—and in exchange, the vampire gives them something that they want."
Your stomach tightens.
"Oh! That's..." You struggle to find your words, but force your voice to stay steady. "What kind of something, exactly?"
"Anything. Revenge, protection, a cure for some disease. Whatever the human needs so badly, they'd trade their soul for it." He finds the page, runs a finger down the text. "But the key thing is, the vampire can't just take. The human has to give permission. Willingly. Otherwise, the bond doesn't form. Hence, the contract part of the soul-contract."
"The bond?"
"Yep. The bond is formed only if it is totally, one-hundred percent mutual. The vampire is tied to the human just as much as the human is tied to the vampire. It's not a master-servant thing. It's..." He pauses, searching for the word. "Permanent. The connection can never be broken, like some eternally messed-up, toxic situationship."
Your hand has found the cross at your throat. You don't remember reaching for it.
"What I don't get," he continues, frowning at the page, "is how the whole thing starts. Like, how does the vampire hear the human in the first place? The book says it answers a call. Not literally a call, though. The words are weird. It says: 'A plea uttered from the deepest well of the soul, often in a state of such desperation that it transcends the mortal sphere.'"
"What kind of plea?" Your voice comes out as a whisper.
"Doesn't say exactly. But the book keeps comparing it to..." He squints at the footnote, then pauses, turns the page. "Huh. That's weird."
"What?"
"The language it uses. It says 'a prayer inverted.'" He traces his finger down the margin. "'Not all prayers reach the kingdom of heaven. Some are intercepted by hungrier ears.' Spooky, right?"
You can't breathe.
The cross burns against your palm. You press it harder, trying to ground yourself, but the world narrows to a single point: a memory. Your bedroom window. The winter wind on your wet cheeks. Your knees bruised against the floorboards.
I beg of you. If you cannot make this feeling stop, then I beg for relief.
"Hey." Niki's voice cuts through the static in your head. "You good? You look like you're gonna, uh... hurl. Or pass out."
"I'm fine."
"Yeah, no." He sets the book aside, straightening up, eyes narrowing. "You're definitely not fine. Was it something I said? I have a habit of—I mean, my mom's always telling me I don't know when to shut up, so if I—"
"You didn't do anything." You shake your head, swallowing hard. "I just need some air."
“Wait!”
You step back, your heel catching on the leg he's stretched across the aisle again. You stumble, and he scrambles to his feet, catches your elbow—a quick, awkward gesture.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to—I just—" He pulls back immediately, shoving both hands in his pockets like he's been burned. He drops his voice to a whisper, then he stares straight at you. “You’ve met a vampire, haven’t you?”
You blink.
"No." You shake your head too fast, an unconvincing laugh escaping your lips before you ramble on, "What? No. That’s ridiculous. Vampires aren't real. Aren’t you too old to believe in these things? Please.”
“But—”
“I'm just... I'm bored. And…” You swallow, “I need to get home before my husband is back."
There’s a pause. A long one.
"Oh… I get it.” He gives you a knowing look. “You can't tell anyone. Vampire confidentiality. Right?" He shifts his weight, suddenly looking less like a brooding delinquent and more like a kid who's spent too many lunch periods eating alone. You open your mouth to protest, but he continues. "Then, if you do see one. Hypothetically. Could you... ask something for me?" You take in his wide-eyed, hopeful stare. "The garlic thing. Is it true? Everyone's always arguing about it, but I think it's just complete crap.”
You let out a sigh.
"I'll keep that in mind."
He beams, looking like he’s about to jump up and down with joy, but quickly reins himself in, dropping his voice an octave and shrugging the excitement away. "Cool... cool. Alright. I'll see you later, then, vampire research lady. I'm always here, so come and find me whenever you wanna, like. Hang out or something...You'll come back, right?"
You don't process any of it. Still shaken, you turn and walk. Past the shelves. Past the desk, where the old librarian still watches you with narrowed eyes. Past the heavy oak doors and into the cold, gray afternoon.
Not all prayers reach the kingdom of heaven.
You pull your coat tighter and start walking, not home just yet. You need to let yourself breathe before you go back to the house with the kitchen window that faces his door, before you have to look your husband in the eye and pretend the conversation you just had never happened.
Teenagers believe anything. You tell yourself with every heavy step, fresh snow crunching underfoot. None of it is real. It can't hurt you.
A thick snowfall arrives on a Friday afternoon, the following week. Schools and stores close, and a company-wide email advises everyone to stay inside. Jake stood at the bedroom window when he read it, watching the storm howl past the glass, and felt two things at once: a quiet disappointment that winter is nowhere near its end, and a much louder, much more immediate gratitude that he doesn't have to leave you today.
He's been worried about you. That's nothing new, actually. He's been worried about you since the day you met, when you laughed at one of his jokes only to screech at the sound of a twig snapping under your step two seconds later. He recognized something in you then. To call it skittishness would be an understatement. There was a weight behind your wide-eyed stare. The look of someone who has been carrying something heavy for a very long time and has never asked anyone to help her hold it. You told him about your night terrors a month into the relationship. Sat him down, explained it like a warning, as if it could ever scare him off from pursuing you. He wanted to be the one to help. He still does. It's the quiet purpose of his life.
He was foolishly optimistic back then. The reality of what it means to live with you, alongside your fears, is not an easy responsibility to carry. You smile when you're sad. You deflect when he asks questions. You say I'm fine and change the subject and slide into his lap, and he lets you, because he loves you, because he doesn't always know the right thing to say, and maybe because some part of him is afraid that if he pushes too hard, he'll be devastated to find there's far more he doesn't understand about you than he realizes. He holds you in the ways you ask him to. He soothes your fears without knowing what they are. He plays the role he's resigned himself to—husband, protector, warm body in the dark—and tries not to notice the moments when your eyes go distant, when your hands tremble for no reason, when you stare into nothing like something else is there, staring right back.
It wears on him. He doesn't resent it. He could never resent you. But there are nights when he wakes up beside you, listening to you stir in your sleep and feels a loneliness he can't explain. Sometimes it feels like there is a part of you he cannot reach, a room inside you where he is not invited.
So he does what he can. He goes to work. He comes home. He holds you when you let him. He prays for you, even on the days when his own faith wavers. And when you reach for him, pulling him into bed with that desperate, devouring hunger that has become the new rhythm of your marriage, he gives you everything you ask for. He gives you more. Because in those moments, you are fully present—your attention is on him and not lost somewhere else. In those moments, he is not your caretaker or your protector. He is simply yours.
It's a relief he didn't know he needed. To be wanted. Not needed—wanted. There's a difference.
Jake's always been good at being needed. Being helpful. At smiling, nodding and letting others feel heard. It's something he carried into adulthood. Into his faith. Into his marriage, where his wife's fragility gave him a role he recognized: the steady one. The unneedy one. The one who holds and is never held.
But desire—real, shameless, take-me-now desire—was never something he imagined being on the receiving end of. He was taught that sex was a service a wife provided to her husband. A duty. A kindness. Something to be accepted with gratitude and restraint. He was prepared to be grateful. He was not prepared for you.
These past weeks, you've become something else entirely. You pull him in by the belt before he's shrugged off his coat. You beg him to be rough, to be merciless, to stop treating you like something fragile. The first time you said it, after the initial disbelief subsided, he nearly wept from relief. From the sudden, staggering realization that you wanted him the way he had always secretly wanted you. That the hunger was mutual. That he was allowed to be hungry at all.
He's been enjoying it more than he probably should. He knows that. Some old, stubborn guilt stirs in him every time he pins your wrists above your head, every time he hears you moan his name like a prayer. He used to repent for thoughts far milder than the things you do together now. But the guilt is quieter than it used to be. Quieter than the sound of your breath hitching. Quieter than the way you say harder and please and fuck me right now.
He assumes it's a side effect of your clinginess. You spend all day alone, trapped by the cold, left to the mercy of your own thoughts. Of course, you reach for him the moment he walks through the door. Of course, you want to be touched, held, filled with something other than the silence of an empty house. He's happy to be that for you. He's happy to be whatever you need.
He doesn't understand the whole of you. He'll never understand what keeps you up at night, and why it does. But he understands the curve of your hip, and the sound of your laugh, and the way your body answers his in the dark. And for now, with the snow piled high against the windows and the fire crackling in the next room and you warm and real and wanting in his arms, that is enough. It's more than enough. It's everything he didn't know he was allowed to ask for.
The neglected part of his heart that spent years believing desire was something to be managed, not felt—that accepted loneliness as the price of being steady, that tucked itself away in the front pew and never asked for more—that part is wide awake, and it reaches for you helplessly.
All of that to say is: being holed up with you inside on a cold evening, he does the only thing that makes sense. He finds you in the kitchen, wraps his arms around your waist from behind, and presses his lips to the curve of your neck.
You giggle, leaning back into him, the wooden spoon still in your hand.
"You want me to burn dinner?"
"I want you," He punctuates each word with a kiss to your shoulder, your jaw, then your neck. "Want you all the time. Everyday. Every second."
"You're insatiable." You swat at his arm, but your voice is fond. "And a distraction."
"What's wrong with being distracted?"
"Jake." You roll your eyes, your tone playful but stern, "Go find something else to do."
"Like what?" He pouts, resting his chin on your shoulder, peering down at the pot.
"Maybe, shovelling the driveway?"
He groans. "I'll do that in the—"
"Morning? You sleep like a log. Besides..." You turn in his arms, your free hand coming up to toy with the collar of his shirt, and a suggestive grin tugs at your lips, "You won't have the energy to."
"Oh?" His eyebrows lift, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Well, if that's the case..."
He presses a kiss to your cheek and pulls away.
"Don't miss me too much," He calls out as he makes his way down the hall, dreading having to bundle up for the cold.
"No promises."
He dreads it even more once he's actually outside, scrunching his nose as the icy cold hits him, like little needles against his skin. But seeing you move about the kitchen from where he shovels makes it all worth it. It's always worth it.
He's watched you sleep enough nights to know how hard you fight just to stay still. The way you squirm and pant and clutch at him, sweat beading at your brow, tortured by something he can't see and you can't name. He's learned not to wake you—it only makes it worse. So he holds you instead.
But morning always comes. You always smile at him over coffee, tired and brave, pushing through the day like the night never happened. Like you haven't spent eight hours running from something he can't fight for you.
So, really, the least he could do as a husband was shovel the driveway without complaining. Even if his back was beginning to ache as if he were a middle aged dad. He can clear a path. He can make one thing easier for you, even if it's just the driveway.
"Hello."
Jake lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched scream and nearly topples over into the snow, managing to brace himself with his shovel. He turns, letting out a sigh of relief when his eyes land on the tall, pale-looking man, who greets him with a closed-mouth smile.
"Man, you scared the crap out of me," Jake laughs, which dissolves into nervous laughter when he notices how the man does not laugh with him. He stands still, almost statuesque.
"My apologies. Jake, yes?"
"That's me." He adjusts his grip on the shovel and extends his free hand, tilting his head. "Do we know each other? I'm sorry, I'm terrible with faces."
"Sunghoon." The hand that meets his is cold, even through both their gloves. The grip is brief and precise. "A pleasure. I live at the corner. Your wife made my acquaintance last Monday."
Jake pauses a moment, his hand freezing mid-shake.
The house at the corner. The weirdo. The hand-kissing, too-long-staring, made-you-uncomfortable neighbour you'd come home crying about last week.
His brows furrow at the realization that this was the guy you were talking about. Although he was imagining someone much older and creepier. Not a polished, perfectly composed, and frankly quite handsome—if Jake is being honest—guy his own age.
"You're the neighbour, huh?" Jake deadpans, shoving his shovel into the snow and standing up straight. He looks Sunghoon up and down, taking his time, letting his gaze drag. Sizing him up. He's taller. That's annoying.
"Yes. We had a lovely conversation. I wish to extend my gratitude."
"How kind. But not necessary."
"Oh, but it is."
"But it really isn't."
"I insist."
"Okay. Look, man. I'll give it to you straight," Jake frowns, eyes narrowing, "I know my wife is beautiful and perfect and all. That's why I married her. You got that? So, I think it's best if you leave her alone."
Sunghoon stares, wordless and expressionless, for a moment. Jake holds his ground, though the silence is starting to get uncomfortable. Maybe he'd been too confrontational. Too harsh. Of course, you and your safety are his number one concerns, but from the way the man's face softens so earnestly, the fear of having possibly misjudged the entire situation starts to creep up on him.
"My apologies. It seems I gave you the wrong impression," His tone is bashful and all too disarming, and he clears his throat as he reaches for his pocket. "You see, ever since I lost my wife, I've become a bit of a hermit. But for a pair of friendly neighbours, I thought I might try getting myself out of my shell."
Jake's frown drops. He stands there in the snow, feeling like a complete and total asshole. He'd been ready to defend your honour, all puffed up and protective and righteous, and instead he'd just threatened a lonely widower who was only being kind. His mother would be appalled. His pastor would probably have words: Lord, we lift up Jake, who apparently forgot every single thing we taught him about loving thy neighbor.
Sunghoon extends an envelope, wax-sealed and dignified, held out with a leather-gloved hand.
"Oh." Jake takes it, and the wax seal feels like a personal indictment. "I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to—I wasn't trying to—really, I just—I'm so sorry."
"It was a long time ago." Sunghoon waves him off with a gentle grace that makes Jake feel even worse, somehow. "I take no offence. I was also quite protective in my first year of marriage."
Jake nods, grateful for the absolution, and sighs.
"When you really love someone, it’s like you'd do anything for them. You know. Move mountains. Fight a bear. Or—" He gestures at the shovel, at his own puffed-up posture. "Accost a stranger in your own driveway, apparently."
"It's true." Sunghoon's mouth curves. "I once threatened a man on the street because he looked at my wife too long. She was mortified. I was unrepentant."
Jake laughs. "And she scolded you for it, I'll bet."
"Absolutely." Sunghoon's expression is something fond, something distant. "But you know..."
"The wife is always right," they say in unison.
"But we love them anyway."
"We do."
Jake smiles. It's the first time since moving here that he's felt something like this. The kind of easy conversation he used to have with friends back home, before the marriage, the move, the new job.
Sunghoon. An odd neighbour. He speaks as if he could be from another generation, hands out wax-sealed letters, and lives in a mysteriously large house all on his own.
Jake could understand why it might be off-putting. But Jake also remembers when you used to scream at the sight of your own shadow. When you'd cling to him at social gatherings in college and glare at every person in the room like they were trying to hurt you.
You've always been afraid. Of the dark. Of strangers. Of everything. He's learned to calibrate for it, to filter the world through the lens of your anxiety and adjust accordingly.
It's not intentionally dismissive. He listens. He tries to. But this time, he should've known that when you crawled into his arms crying over a neighbour who only did so much as look at you, that it would be what it always is: another false alarm.
A part of him still ponders what he could possibly mean by "a long time" when the man before him doesn't look a day over thirty. And even if he were, say, in his mid to late thirties... late thirties...? That's still too young to have lost a wife and had plenty of time to get over it. He does not dare to ask, though. You know, considering he's already accused the guy of hitting on his wife. Following that up with so, exactly how long has your dead wife been dead? feels like it might not improve the situation.
Sunghoon's gaze drifts. Past Jake, over his shoulder. Jake follows it to the kitchen window, where the curtain twitches. There's a flash of movement, quickly stilled. You've been watching the entire time.
"She mentioned being a bit timid," Sunghoon smiles a little, gaze torn away from the window. "If not both of you, perhaps just yourself? I would be glad to host regardless."
"He's weird, sure. But he went out of his way to invite us. I think he's just trying to be friendly in his own, you know, awkward sort of way." Jake rambles to himself over dinner. "A lot of the other couples on this block are a lot older than us. It would be nice to make friends with a guy my own age."
The dinner invitation sits open between you on the kitchen table, its wax seal broken, its cursive script elegant and old-fashioned. You stare at the words on the page, and all you can see is the way he looked at you through the window. The slow, knowing smile. The way his eyes had found yours through the glass, like he'd known exactly where you'd be.
"I think we should accept." Jake's tone of voice is unfortunately optimistic. And a part of you cannot believe half of what you're hearing, but the other part of you knows this is who you married: Jake, a man who assumes the best in everyone, who never enters a room expecting danger, who extends undeserved kindness to every stranger he meets. "Worst case, we learn to stay away. Best case, you have nothing to worry about. Either way, it will put your mind at ease."
Put your mind at ease. You nearly snort aloud. As if an evening in that house with that man could do anything but the opposite. Jake doesn't notice. He's already picturing the dinner party, already imagining a new friendship.
"...I'm not sure. Maybe we should think on it."
His smile falters. You know that look. It's the closest Jake ever gets to exasperation.
"Come on." He sets his fork down, and you feel the weight of his stare. "He lost his wife, and he lives in that creepy mansion all alone. Don't you feel a little bit bad?"
You offer no response, picking at your food. He gives you a few seconds, letting the tension-filled silence linger, and when it becomes clear you're not going to budge, he sighs.
"Well." He picks up his fork again, his jaw set with a gentle stubbornness. "You can think on it. I'm going."
"What?" Your fork is clattering against the table. "No. You can't go alone."
He blinks at you, fork hovering halfway to his mouth, his expression caught somewhere between confusion and the beginnings of a laugh. His brow furrows.
"Didn't know I needed supervision." The words come out light, almost teasing, but his eyes are still searching your face. He's trying to find the joke. When the smile doesn't come, the teasing edge fades from his voice. "I'm just going across the street, baby. What do you think is going to happen to me?"
"I'm just being cautious."
"Cautious?” He scoffs, “What, you think he’s an axe murderer or something?”
He waits for you to laugh, to roll your eyes, to admit you're exaggerating.
"Sweetheart.” His voice drops, frustration building up. “Be realistic. Seriously."
"I am realistic. He told me I looked vulnerable. Like it was a threat. Like I was in danger, I...” Your words are tumbling out faster now, more frantic, “He sniffed me. That's not normal, Jake. He—”
“Sure he did.”
It lingers in the air a moment, and you stare, suspended in disbelief at how he’s looking at you as if you are a child describing a monster in the closet.
“You think I’m making it up.”
The dismissal is worse than the doubt. He's not even taking it seriously enough to disbelieve. Your hands are trembling. You press them flat against the table.
"I didn’t mean it like that,” He starts, “Sweetheart—”
“You don’t believe me.”
"I believe…" He stops, taking a moment to reel in his thoughts. He lowers his voice to a tone that's more gentle and patient, acutely aware of how your breathing is growing uneven. "Maybe these nightmares are warping your perception of the people around you. Which is making you act a little judgmental."
He reaches across the table. His palm hovers over your knuckles, an offering. But you swat his hand away before it lands. It's a small gesture, but the impact of it lingers.
"You don't believe me." You repeat.
His frown is no longer patient.
"Do you even believe yourself?"
Jake looks at you, searching for something neither of you can name. For an answer. For understanding. For anything at all. You can't help the shame that creeps up on you, rotting you from the inside.
You don't know what you believe. All you know is that your dreams have a face now. The face lives at the end of your street and has invited you to dinner.
It would be so easy to say you're afraid of him. It wouldn't be a lie. But the truer explanation is also the most shameful: you want your neighbour. You've wanted him since he looked at you in the candlelight and made you feel like prey that was begging to be caught. But admitting that would mean admitting that the rot inside you was never his fault—That all of this has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the woman you've been trying not to be since you were old enough to know better.
You don't let yourself finish the thought. You never do.
Through the corner of your eye, through the kitchen window, a passing car's headlights reveal the sight of something in your yard. Something red, in contrast to the stark white snow, and you freeze.
"Listen, I’m not trying to argue. I'm really not. I'm just trying to help. You can’t be afraid of every stranger you—"
"I just saw something." The words leave your mouth before you've decided to say them. "Out there."
Jake stops. His eyes follow yours to the window, where the dark has settled back over the yard like a curtain drawn shut. When he looks back at you, his frown is firm.
Holding Jake's hand, you walk with him through ankle-deep snow, his flashlight flickering ever so slightly. The beam is weak but steady enough to catch the trail he's tracking: small animal footprints, evenly spaced, leading toward the hedge at the edge of the yard.
"There," you whisper, though you don't know why you're whispering. "Behind the bush."
He angles the light. For a moment, the snow is just white and clean and untouched. Then the beam catches it. A bright splash of red, vivid against the pale. It's fresh. Still wet.
"Oh my god." Your hand flies to your mouth.
Jake crouches, his jaw tight, and pushes aside the lowest branch. The cat lies curled beneath the hedge, its fluffy white coat matted with blood. Its neck is torn, and two small punctures sit just above the collar, neat, precise, too deliberate to be random. You'd seen it in movies. You'd seen it in the book Niki flipped through at the library.
That night, after Jake calls the old woman across the street and breaks the news that her beloved house pet lies lifeless in your front yard, you find yourself curled up against Jake's chest. Your violent shaking and panicked breathing had now simmered down into quiet breaths and subtle trembling.
"There were no other footprints around."
"Hm?" His voice is thick with the sleep he's been fighting off.
"The cat."
Jake doesn't sigh, but the way his chest rises and falls tells you he was hiding his frustration for your sake.
"It was dark." His hand resumes its slow circles on your back. "We probably just missed it."
"I know what I saw."
"What do you think it was then, hm?" He teases lazily, thoughtlessly. "A scary cat-killing monster with no footsteps?"
He means it as a joke. Mostly. But you don't miss the edge in his voice, how it's sharper than it would have been an hour ago, before the argument at the kitchen table, before the cold trek through the snow to find a dead cat in your yard.
"A vampire."
The word lands in the dark between you and just sits there. Jake goes still. Then, slowly, he shifts upright, disentangling himself from you. The loss of his warmth is immediate.
He looks at you. Really looks at you.
"Okay. What is going on with you?"
"You don't think it could be?" You try, “Two marks, side-by-side, at its neck. What kind of wild animal does that?”
"Is that a serious question?" He blinks at you, "Baby. Look at me. Please tell me you aren't serious."
You don't answer.
This time, he does sigh loudly, and with a small "come here," he's pulling you in his arms again. He settles back against the pillows, tucking you against his chest.
"Let's pretend, hypothetically, that your little conspiracy theories are real. All the vampires and the cat-killing monsters and the creepy neighbours with sharp teeth..." His voice is warm and tired and almost teasing. But mostly just exhausted. "Then I promise I'll protect you from all the big, bad, scary things out there. Okay? Does that make you feel better?"
It should. But all you can think about is the cat beneath the hedge. The two neat punctures above its collar. The way Sunghoon looked at Jake, curious and patient, eyes at his neck when he wasn't looking.
You don't need Jake to protect you. You need him to stay the hell away from that house. You need him somewhere the monster can't reach.
But he won't stay. He's made that clear.
"Jake?"
"Mm?" He's already drifting, the exhaustion finally pulling him under.
"I'll come with you."
You walk the short distance to the house at the corner hand in hand with your husband, his palm warm and steady around yours. The snow has stopped falling, leaving the street hushed and still, though you feel anything but peace. Jake's thumb traces small circles over your knuckles, a nervous habit he doesn't seem to notice.
"You're squeezing," you murmur.
"Am I?" He loosens his grip, shooting you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I just want this to go well."
You know why. It's not just about making a good impression or redeeming himself for the confrontation in the driveway. He's trying to give you peace of mind, even if he has to manufacture it. A successful evening means a normal neighbour. A normal neighbour means your fears were just fears. He needs that to be true. For you and for himself.
The gate groans when Jake pushes it open, the iron scrollwork black and wet with melted frost. The cobblestone path is uneven beneath your boots, the same path you fled down some time ago with your heart in your throat and the phantom heat of a stranger's lips still burning on your knuckles. The house looms above you, every window dark, the curtains drawn against the fading afternoon light.
"Nice place, right?" Jake says under his breath. It's such a desperately optimistic read of the looming dark house in front of you. You'd call it a generous lie if you didn't know your husband any better.
The heavy double doors open before Jake can knock.
Sunghoon stands in the shadow of the threshold, tall and pale and composed. His smile is closed-lipped, polite, his eyes moving from Jake to you with an unhurried grace.
"Welcome." He steps aside, gesturing you in. "Please, come in out of the cold."
"I'd shake your hand, but my fingers are still thawing." Jake laughs, "Seriously though. Thanks so much for having us."
"The pleasure is mine. It's been a very long time since this house has had guests." Sunghoon guides the pair of you inside, and you don't miss the way his hand brushes your back. His gaze flicks to you, and the corner of his mouth lifts just slightly. "Welcome back."
You murmur something that might be thank you. The warmth of the foyer wraps around you as the door swings shut, but it does nothing to stop the chill working its way down your spine.
"Man, this place is insane. You could fit our whole house in this entryway." Jake is still shrugging off his coat, glancing around the foyer with wide, earnest eyes. He elbows you gently, grinning. "Why didn't we buy a creepy old mansion, babe?"
You don't answer, shedding your own coat, avoiding Sunghoon's stare.
"It's too much house for one person, I'm afraid. But it does have its charms." Sunghoon turns, gesturing toward the hall ahead. "Shall I give you the tour?"
"Yes, please." Jake nods enthusiastically, following him into the hall.
You trail behind.
Each room is just as beautiful as the last. The parlour with its heavy velvet drapes and furniture draped in dusty sheets. The study, lined floor to ceiling with books, a massive oak desk sitting dark and unused in the center. The dining room, where a long table has been set for three—candles flickering, silver gleaming. The formality of it all makes you feel like you've stepped into another century.
"My wife had a fondness for entertaining," Sunghoon says, noticing your gaze. "I'm afraid I've let the tradition lapse. You'll have to forgive me if I'm out of practice."
"Are you kidding? This is incredible." Jake claps him on the shoulder, already at ease. "Our dining table is just a couple of sad IKEA chairs."
It's in the music room that Jake stops dead in his tracks.
The grand piano sits in front of the large, draped windows. It's an ancient-looking thing, the legs intricately carved and the body engraved with winding patterns, with candelabras on either side, their wax frozen mid-drip. The ivory keys are yellowed with age, but the dark wood gleams, suggesting it's been properly maintained over the years.
Jake drifts toward it. His hand lifts before he seems to realize it, hovering just above the closed lid.
"No way," he breathes. "You play?"
"Occasionally. Though my wife was far better. It belonged to her." Sunghoon comes to stand beside him. "And you?"
"No, no. I just..." Jake runs a reverent hand over the closed lid. "I used to play guitar. Nothing fancy. Mostly in youth group, you know? Worship nights, that kind of thing."
"Ah, yes." Sunghoon's smile deepens. "A man of faith. Your wife mentioned it."
"Born and raised." Jake glances back at you, his expression bright with the pleasure of finding common ground. "Actually, I used to sing in the choir too, back when I was a kid. Drove the conductor insane because I could never remember the Latin verses."
"A church choir. Now that brings back memories." He hums, soft and almost wistful, "I sang as a child, too. Soprano, if you can believe it. Before my voice dropped and they had no more use for me."
"No way." Jake laughs, delighted. "Small world, huh? What denomination?"
"The details blur after a while." Sunghoon waves a hand, "Though I'm afraid my faith hasn't weathered the years as well as yours."
"Hey, I get it. Life has a way of testing you." Jake's hand finds yours, squeezing, as if to say, see? He's just a guy. A normal, lonely guy. "But the door's always open, right?"
"So I've heard."
You stand a few paces behind them, your hand limp in Jake's grip, listening to the easy rhythm of their conversation. It should be a comfort—your husband, making a friend, building the life you'd both imagined for yourselves in this new town. But all you can feel is the way Sunghoon's gaze keeps drifting toward you even as he speaks to Jake. The way his smile never quite reaches his eyes.
You drift away, taking in the rest of the room while their voices fade behind you.
The bookshelf is built into the far wall, floor to ceiling, packed with old volumes in dark, cracked leather. You let your eyes trace the spines without really seeing them—something to do, somewhere to look that isn't the two of them. Most of the titles are in languages you don't recognize. Latin, maybe. Something older.
Then your gaze snags.
A book bound in dark blue cloth, its cover embossed with a faded silver symbol you recognize instantly. You've seen it before. In the narrow library aisle, in the hands of a bored teenager. Instinctively, your hand reaches.
"Have you read it?"
The voice comes from directly behind you, close enough that you feel the words stir the hair at the nape of your neck. You flinch, spinning on your heel, and find Sunghoon standing less than an arm's length away. You hadn't heard him move. You hadn't heard anything at all.
You look around frantically. Jake. Where is Jake? Where did he—?
"It's local history, mostly. Folklore. Old superstitions." He reaches past you, his sleeve brushing your shoulder, and pulls the volume from the shelf. He turns it over in his hands, long pale fingers tracing the embossed symbol. "You don't strike me as the type to believe in such."
"I don't." You say too quickly, "I just find it interesting. The stories. The history."
"So you have read it."
His eyes meet yours. The candlelight catches them strangely, deepening the dark, and for a moment, you can't look away. You don’t want to. Nor do you want to keep trying to convince yourself that the way he looks at you is anything normal.
"What about you?" You tilt your chin up. "Do you believe any of it is real?"
"I think I’ve told you before. I believe in many things." He slides the book back onto the shelf. "They say curiosity is a dangerous thing. It can be. Though I think a curious mind, who is drawn to things they cannot explain, is putting themselves in far more danger by resisting their nature."
"One might call it resistance. One might also call it none of your concern."
The words come out sharper than you intended. Sunghoon smiles, slow and knowing.
"The scaredy cat has claws." He doesn't step back. His gaze doesn't waver.
Against your will, your mind flashes back to the cat in your front yard, lying bloody and lifeless in the snow. A shudder runs through you.
Jake's footsteps echo in the hallway, and Sunghoon steps back, the space between you reasserting itself as if it had never closed.
"Anyway." Sunghoon's voice lifts, smooth and easy, perfectly timed to Jake's reappearance in the doorway. "It's quite an interesting read, even for a skeptic."
"Sorry about that." He says, expression half sheepish. "I kind of got lost on the way to the bathroom. This house is—yeah. What'd I miss?"
"Your wife was admiring my library," Sunghoon replies. "She has excellent taste."
The three of you sit at one end of the long dining room table, silverware grasped in your unsteady hands, your wine glass untouched. Sunghoon brought out the first course—something rich and dark, red wine sauce pooling on porcelain. It smells delicious, and you watch Jake dig into it thoughtlessly. You move the food around your plate instead. Your mother would scold you for bad table manners, but you don't owe this man any manners. Not when he’s charming your husband to his face, and cornering you when he’s out of sight.
"So only a few weeks," Sunghoon says, refilling Jake's glass with a bottle that had no label. "Married, moved in, new job. You've been busy."
"Busy doesn't even cover it." Jake is already reaching for his glass, his shoulders loosening with each sip. "I barely have time to do anything like this anymore. Socializing, I mean. As much as I love being cooped up with my other half..." He shoots you a wink. "This is nice. Really nice."
"It is." Sunghoon hums in agreement. "I remember what it was like. The demands on a new husband can feel endless. The pressure to build something lasting, to be enough for someone who's given you everything."
"Yeah." Jake exhales, something in his posture softening. "Exactly. It's a lot sometimes."
Sunghoon's gaze drifts to yours.
"Of course, it's hard on the wives, too. I'm sure." He says. "The adjustment can be difficult. Old habits. Old fears. They don't disappear just because there's a ring on your finger."
Jake doesn't seem to notice how you shift in discomfort. He’s already nodding, already raising his glass in a loose, tipsy agreement. He doesn't hear the implication. He doesn't see the way Sunghoon's eyes haven't left your face. He doesn’t listen to you when you tell him to stop drinking, either.
One bottle turned into two, and you don't know how many glasses you've watched your husband down, but you know with certainty that he's far gone as you sit in the living room, stiff and silent while the men chat away. You don't listen. You're too busy noticing how your heart beats faster than the ticking grandfather clock in the corner, eagerly waiting to leave.
The fire has burned down to embers, a low red pulse that makes the shadows stretch along the walls. The record crackles to life, piano drifting through the air. Something slow and minor.
"My wife adored Chopin's nocturnes, but I preferred his sonatas. Though one could argue that everything he composed was excellent." Sunghoon places the record sleeve down, the edges worn. "I used to listen to this one to clear my head."
Jake stirs against you, lifting his head with visible effort.
"Oh yeah?" His voice is thick, syrupy. He squints at the record sleeve in Sunghoon's hands, then back at you. "I know someone who could use that."
He looks straight at you. His eyes are glassy, fond, and painfully oblivious. You glare.
"I'm just teasing, baby." His hand finds your thigh, squeezing. A drunken peace offering. It doesn't help at all. "Just teasing."
"Careful." Sunghoon's voice is closer now, light and teasing as he slides into the couch across from you two. "You'll end up sleeping on the couch tonight."
Jake snorts, and you watch something loosen in his shoulders—watch him lean into the camaraderie of it, the easy, too-easy understanding that passes between them. He gestures with his glass, the dregs of wine sloshing against the crystal.
"She wouldn't let me. Who else is going to protect her from all the scary monsters and the dark?" He rolls his eyes, affectionately dismissive.
"Jake." It comes out as a whisper, a plea.
"You're scared of the dark?"
"She's scared of everything." Jake interrupts, his words slurring. "Scared of the dark. Scared of being alone. Scared of herself, even." He raises his hands in surrender, palms out, the gesture loose and exaggerated. "Don't ask me why. Nobody knows why. I've been trying to figure it out since we met, and I've got nothing."
He lets his hands drop, gazing at you with a sad, broken look in his eyes. Something only alcohol could drag out of him, and something he'll hate himself for in the morning.
"I don't know how to help." He continues, "I don't know what to do. I never know what to—"
"Jake, stop it."
He blinks at you, the awareness that he's crossed a line he definitely shouldn't have dawning on him all at once. His shoulders hunch, invisible weight pressing down on him.
"Right. I should shut my mouth. I know, I know." He sets his glass down on the side table, clumsy, the stem rattling. His hand finds your knee and pats it twice, a sloppy apology. "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm not trying to be mean, sweetheart. I just… don't understand you."
"I know."
"I try. I promise, I try."
"I know you do." You soothe him, feeling his weight press against you. You turn to Sunghoon. "I think he's had too much to drink. We should probably—"
"I try, just..." He exhales, long and slow, the last of the fight going out of him. "Just... can't..."
His head dips forward. His shoulders go slack. The weight of him against your side becomes dead weight, heavy and still.
"Jake?" Your hand moves to his chest, shaking gently. Nothing.
His breathing remains deep and even, but there's no flicker of consciousness beneath his eyelids, no reflexive squeeze of his hand where it lies slack in yours.
"Your husband." Sunghoon hasn't moved from his chair. The firelight catches the pale angle of his jaw, the dark gleam of his eyes. "He's lovely."
"He is." The words come out defensive.
His gaze then drops to your throat.
Your hand twitches up. Beneath your blouse, the cross rests against your heated skin. You wore it like this on purpose, tucked away so you wouldn't be tempted to reach for it, so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing you clutch it like a shield. Still, your muscle memory betrays you.
"Though, not quite as lovely as you."
You dart your gaze away immediately, redirecting your attention to Jake. You shake him with less care and more urgency.
"Jake." You hiss his name under your breath, a prayer and a plea. "Jake, wake up."
He returns nothing. Not a twitch. Not a flicker of consciousness.
"Please." Your voice is rising now, shedding its careful composure. "Please, Jake—"
"He's not going to wake up."
Sunghoon's voice is certain.
Your hand stills on Jake's shoulder.
"What did you do to him?" Your voice is low. Gone was the politeness you'd faked for your husband's sake.
He smiles.
"Nothing. He drank my wine. Enjoyed good company. That's all." Sunghoon states plainly, "He's exhausted. You've noticed it, haven't you? The dark circles. The way he collapses the moment he's home."
Your gaze drops to Jake's face. To the shadows pooled beneath his eyes. The way his hand, even in sleep, rests on your thigh like he's still trying to anchor you. Your throat tightens. You've done this to him. Your fears. Your clinging. And—
"And the nightmares," Sunghoon continues, his head tilting. "The things you call nightmares. They must be so tiring for him to tend to."
A slow, creeping horror spreads through your chest as you stare back at him.
"But they're not really nightmares." His voice drops, low and intimate. "They never have been."
You move before you can think.
"Jake." Your hand closes around Jake's arm. You pull, trying to drag him upright, trying to haul his dead weight off the couch. "Jake, get up. We're leaving. We're leaving right now—"
His body is heavy and uncooperative, slumping against you, and you're not strong enough, but you try regardless. You try because you can see Sunghoon start to rise from where he's seated from the corner of your eye.
You reach to set down your wine glass. You need both hands. You need to grip Jake properly and drag him out of this house, even if you have to crawl. But your hands are shaking, and the glass comes down too fast.
It shatters.
The sound is obscene in the quiet—a bright, crystalline burst, shards scattering across your hand, across the coffee table and onto the carpet.
Immediately, the pain rises through your palm, and you hiss, jerking your hand back. You watch the blood well up—dark in the low light, beading along the cut and spilling over, sliding down the curve of your wrist.
A single drop falls to the carpet.
Then you hear it. A low, ragged inhale, shuddering and deep, as if the air itself has become something to be devoured. Your head lifts before you can stop it.
He's already above you, his presence caging you into the couch, and the expression on his face has changed. His eyes are dark. His lips have parted. His whole body is still, but it is not the stillness of composure. It is the stillness of a predator in the moment before the strike.
He reaches down. Takes your wrist. The motion is nothing gentle, but there is a restraint in his grip that makes your pulse hammer against his fingers. He draws your bleeding hand toward his face, eyes fixed on the red tracing its way down your palm. He lowers his mouth to it.
"Sunghoon—"
He inhales, and the groan that escapes him is low and guttural, pulled from somewhere deep in his chest. It is pure hunger, pure want, and it makes your thighs press together where you sit, a traitorous heat blooming low in your belly that you cannot control.
"What are you?" Your voice is a mere whisper, weak and trembling. "What do you want from me?"
"You know what I am. You've known me a very long time." His fangs catch the firelight, sharp and unmistakable. He turns your wrist over, watching a bead of blood trace down your palm. "As for what I want... All I've ever wanted is what you promised me all those years ago."
The memories come back to you all at once: The dreams. The cold hands on your bare skin. The sharp teeth sinking into your neck while you begged for it, night after night, year after year. The presence at your window that was never a nightmare at all.
It's always been him.
"For so long, I've waited." He shudders, and the sound is almost pained. "For even just a taste of what is mine."
You watch, frozen, as his lips close around your fingers. His tongue moves against your wounded hand, lapping at the blood with a hunger that feels obscene. His eyes flutter shut. A tremor runs through him, and you feel it echoed in your own body.
Your husband lies sleeping three feet away, a monster is drinking from your hand like a man dying of thirst, and you cannot speak. You cannot do anything but watch and feel the shameful heat pooling between your thighs, the ache you've spent a lifetime trying to pray away now so acute it nearly doubles you over.
A whimper catches in your throat. You try to swallow it back, but it escapes anyway, small and utterly pathetic. His eyes open at the sound, fixed on yours as you watch the slow movement of his throat as he swallows. Your breath is coming short, and you nearly forget how to breathe entirely when his knee comes up to the couch, just between your thighs as he leans over you. Your free hand is pressed flat against your thigh to keep it from reaching for him.
When he finally pulls his mouth from your fingers, a thin strand of saliva, stained with your blood, connects his lower lip to your skin.
"Just a taste..." he breathes, the words ragged. His grip on your wrist tightens, not enough to hurt, but enough to make clear he is holding himself back by a thread. "It's not enough."
"Please," You shake your head. "Please, I don't—"
"Don't you remember? The way you kneeled before me. How I answered your call." His voice drops. "I promised you relief—in exchange for you. For your blood. Your flesh. Your soul. Your innocence. We made a deal."
The soul-contract.
Permanent. Mutual. Even if the vampire dies, the connection doesn't break.
You had hoped it was all folklore. Even after you saw his fangs, after he tasted your blood. Some small part of you clung to the belief that the promise you made at your window was nothing more than a desperate girl's cry into the dark.
But the deal was real. Your marriage, your faith, your husband's gentle love—none of it could change what you'd already given away.
"Why now?" Your voice cracks. "Why me. Why—"
"You have no idea how torturous it was. To be bound to someone I could not reach." His voice is ragged now, stripped of its usual composure. "To feel your wanting every night. Your dreams, your shame. To be unable to touch you. To be unable to drink you. Unable to even stand at your window and watch you."
His eyes find yours, and the hurt in them is so raw, so genuine, that for a moment you forget he's a monster.
"And then you moved across the river. Across the street. I thought—finally. Finally, she's come to me." His expression hardens. "But you came with him. You let another man touch what was already mine. How could you do that to me?"
The running water barrier—they can't cross it.
You remember when you viewed the house in this neighbourhood. The unmistakable, almost unsettlingly strong pull you'd felt. You'd taken it as a sign from God that this place was right. That your future belonged here.
So you left your childhood home behind. You crossed the southern river. You brought yourself within his reach, and you brought your husband with you.
God. He hadn't been the one to answer your prayers. He hadn't guided you on the right path, either. Perhaps you'd let him down too many times. Perhaps your faith was too bleak, too fragile. Or perhaps he'd stopped listening altogether the night you knelt at your window and begged for something He couldn't give.
"I felt everything. Every touch. Every kiss. His name on your lips." His gaze cuts to Jake's sleeping form, a strange sort of understanding surfacing beneath his frown. "I even felt your love for him."
He is quiet for a long moment, and so are you. Then, his gaze returns to you.
"I cannot understand how you could love someone else. Though, I also cannot blame you for needing someone in my absence."
His mouth is at your throat now. You feel the graze of his fangs against the thin skin over your pulse, the place where your blood beats closest to the surface.
"But I am here now. Do not deny me any longer." His voice is a murmur against your neck, each word a brush of cool lips. "I've been so patient, my love."
Your pulse is racing, warm and alive under his cold touch. Your blood sings to him, practically begging to be taken. Though he doesn't bite.
You remember why before you can question it: The soul-contract requires permission.
Your body is screaming for you to give in. Your hand wants to curl into his hair and press him closer to your neck, to offer yourself and enjoy every second of it, the way you have done so in every dream you've ever had of him. You are trembling with the effort of holding yourself still as you imagine the pleasure, the relief.
Then you look to Jake, the peaceful look on his face, his soft breathing.
"Don't."
His hand stills. Then it withdraws entirely. The loss of contact is almost worse than the touch—your skin aching where his palm had rested, your pulse hammering against nothing.
His expression shifts, tenderness replaced with something wounded.
"That night." Your voice trembles, but you force the words out. "It was a mistake. I was young. And desperate. That's all it was."
"You can lie to your husband. You can even lie to yourself. But you cannot lie to me." He frowns. "I can smell your desire from down the street. It reeks."
"I don't desire this. I don't. I don't want it. I just want to be left alone." You shake your head as the words fall out, painfully unconvincing. The tears come before you can stop them, spilling over your cheeks. "Please. Please leave me alone."
He watches you weep, ever so still and silent. Then, his hand rises, near your face. For a moment, you let yourself lean into the possibility of the touch, the cold comfort of his fingertips.
"These tears." His voice is barely a whisper as a single finger traces the track of your tears. "You only cry because you continue to deny yourself."
You sniffle. Blink. Meet his gaze through the wet blur of your lashes.
"You've tormented me for years." You try to sound angry. Your voice doesn't obey. "You've ruined me. And now you're ruining my marriage."
"Tormented?" His brows furrow, and he studies your face—the parted lips, the flushed cheeks, the wet gleam of your eyes. His hand remains at your cheek. His touch is cold. It soothes, momentarily, the all-consuming heat inside you. "You have it all wrong. I've loved you for years."
"Love." You'd laugh if you weren't crying, "You're not in love. You're hungry."
"Hunger is the purest form of love. It doesn't think. It doesn't negotiate. It simply wants." He tilts his head. "You know that. You've been hungry your whole life. You hunger for something only I can give you. Something only we can share."
You think of the ache. The one that never goes away. The one you've tried to pray away, fuck away, hide away in the deepest part of yourself. It pulses now, insistently, and you know he could make it stop.
You pull away regardless. Your body screams, but you ignore it. You will not give in to temptation. You will resist.
"Stay away from me."
His expression doesn't change, but the air between you feels as if it does. He looks at you for a long, unreadable moment. Then he inclines his head.
"Very well."
The firelight catches his face—his terribly beautiful face. It hurts to even look at him.
"You're stubborn." His hand drifts from your neck, his gaze longing. "So was I."
He brings his palm to your forehead, and your eyelids grow heavy. The weight of slumber threatens to pull you under, and you try to fight it, but your body is no longer yours to command. It hasn't been for a long time.
"But you know, my dear..." His voice is the last thing you hear, "A vampire still needs to feed."
His gaze shifts past you. Toward the couch. Toward Jake.
You aren't able to protest. The record still plays, the second sonata in its third movement, and it lulls you, allowing the darkness to swallow you whole.
You wake slowly, your body rising before your mind can follow. The first thing you register is warmth. The second is wetness, a slick, shameful heat between your thighs that tells you the dreams have come again even if you can't remember them.
The third is the press of your husband's body against your back. Hard. Insistent.
"Shit, baby." Jake's voice is rough, his arm tightening around your waist. "You're killing me."
Your husband.
You lurch forward, twisting in his grip, your hands finding his shoulders and pushing him flat against the mattress so you can climb over him. Your heart is pounding from the images that linger at the edge of your memory like a flickering candle flame. His face. His teeth. Your blood on his lips. The way your husband slumped against the couch, and how he moved towards him.
"Jake!" The name tears out of you. Your hands cup his face, thumbs pressing into his cheekbones, tilting his head left and right. "Jake, you're alive."
He blinks up at you, squinting against the pale morning light. His hair is a mess, flattened on one side, and there's a crease from the pillow pressed into his cheek.
"Ugh. Barely." He groans, scrubbing a hand over his face. "How much did I drink last night? I feel like I got hit by a truck."
Your hands are still on his face, your eyes still searching.
"Do you... do you remember anything?"
"Uh..." He hums, his brow furrowing with the effort of recollection. "The meal was amazing. And the wine. A lot of wine. And..." He shifts, adjusting himself with a wince. "I remember thinking our neighbour's a really cool guy."
Your heart drops into your stomach.
"I could see myself being friends with him."
Friends. With him. With that monster. You bite your tongue.
"Do you remember anything else?" You ask a little quieter this time.
"Should I be remembering something else?" He props himself up on his elbows, his expression shifting from groggy to concerned. "Did something happen?"
"Do you remember passing out on his couch?"
His eyes widen.
"I did? Shit. That's... so embarrassing." His hands come up to his face, a half-groan, half-laugh leaving him. "It was fun, though. You had a good time too, right?"
You don't answer. Your gaze drifts to his neck, to the skin just below his jaw. There they are. Two small punctures, red and slightly raised, the skin around them faintly bruised.
A vampire needs to feed.
You reach, your fingertips brushing the wounds. Jake flinches.
"What is that?" He twists away from your touch, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stumbling toward the mirror above the dresser. He tilts his chin, squinting at his reflection. "Huh. Looks like mosquito bites or something. Weird time of year for bugs."
"Vampire bite."
Jake's eyes meet yours in the mirror. For a moment, his expression is unreadable—caught somewhere between confusion and a smile, like he's waiting for the punchline. Then his face settles into something flatter. Tired.
"Ha. Yeah, right. Very funny." He turns from the mirror, reaching for a T-shirt on the floor. "Don't tell me you're still serious about that."
"I am serious."
He pauses, one arm in his sleeve, the other still free. He turns to look at you over his shoulder, his expression wholeheartedly, genuinely, bewildered with disbelief.
"Baby." He pulls the shirt the rest of the way on. His voice is groggy, too tired to give your seeming absurdity any real argument. "Come on."
"You don't understand, you—" At the fuzzy recollection of the previous night—the glass shattering in your hand, and the wound he licked clean, you scramble to show Jake your hand, holding out your right palm. "Look. I cut my hand and he..."
Your voice trails off, seeing your hand. You turn your hand over, flexing your fingers. You know you didn't imagine the pain of the glass piercing your skin. You know you watched him devour the blood from your open wound. And yet, there isn't a single mark. Not even a faint scar. Not a trace of proof to show him.
"Sweetheart. Look at me." Jake says slowly, calmly. "Are you actually suggesting that our neighbour—who, by the way, invited us into his home and made us dinner—is a vampire?" He waits, watching you. Watches how you don't answer, how you ignore him and continue to inspect your hand for proof that isn't there. "You can't be serious. Vampires aren't real. They're Halloween costumes. They're shitty movies. They're— "
"Jake. Just—look at your neck." You gesture, and his hand flies up instinctively to the wound. "It's literally right there. We're both looking at it."
"These are—I don't know what they are. An allergic reaction. A spider bite. I don't know. But it's not..." He stops himself, shaking his head. "You believe this. You actually, genuinely believe that Sunghoon is a vampire?"
"He is."
Neither of you moves.
Jake stares at you. You stare back. And for a long, strange moment, you're both just standing there in your bedroom looking at each other like you've each just discovered the other is speaking a foreign language.
"I don't..." He passes a hand over his face. "I don't even know what to say to that."
"Say you believe me."
"I don't." He exhales, long and slow. "Baby, you're asking me to believe in actual, literal monsters who drink blood and sleep in a coffin and turn into bats."
"He doesn't turn into a bat, or—"
"Oh, well, that's reassuring. Thank you for clarifying." He scoffs. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can't—it's too early for this."
"Jake," you plead, "I know it sounds crazy. But I know what I saw."
"What did you see?"
The question hangs in the air between you. He poses it the same way he always does, when he asks about your nightmares. And you realize, with a sinking, gut-wrenching clarity, that there is no answer you can give that he will believe. You could describe the fangs—sharp and white and gleaming in the firelight. You could describe the sound he made when he smelled your blood, animalistic and starving. You could describe the way his mouth closed around your fingers, the way his tongue moved against your skin as he drank from your hand. You could spend hours, talking in circles, trying to explain it. It doesn't matter. Jake didn't see it. He would only look at you with those patient, loving eyes and say you had a nightmare or you were scared and the wine got to your head. "Hey." His voice softens. He crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed beside you, his hand finding yours. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad."
"I know."
"Where is this coming from?" He asks, "The vampire talk. Is it your dreams?"
You nod. It's true, even if not the whole truth.
"Tell me about them." His thumb traces your hand. "I know you don't like talking about your dreams. But I can't help you if you don't tell me."
Jake waits. When nothing comes, he squeezes your hand.
"Please. I want to understand. Please give me something." His fingers lace through yours, intertwined with his hand, "I'm your husband. You can tell me anything."
The words are right there. My dreams, my sins, the things I prayed for in the dark, the monster that answered. But they don't come. Saying them out loud means admitting what you'd done, what you brought into your marriage and haunts the space between your thighs when you wake in the dark. What you still, in the deepest and most secret part of yourself, want.
He wouldn't see the woman he thought he married. He'd see filth. Sin. Your rotting, corrupted soul. A woman who begged evil to touch her.
"I don't think my dreams are just dreams anymore." The words come out barely a whisper. You can't bring yourself to tell him the rest. "I'm so scared, Jake."
The sob that follows is ugly and raw. You crawl into his lap like you did a few weeks ago, your fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt, your face pressed to the warm hollow of his throat. And he holds you. Like he always does. Like he's come to expect.
"Okay," he murmurs into your hair. "Okay. I've got you. It's okay."
But it's not okay. Even now, with his arms around you and his heartbeat steady beneath your ear, you feel it. That hunger. A ravenous void inside you, hot and insistent and utterly indifferent to the tears still drying on your cheeks. It never leaves. It's always there.
Your hand moves before you can stop it. Sliding up his chest. Curling into the collar of his shirt. Your mouth finds his.
He lets you kiss him, his lips parting under yours, a small sound of surprise caught in his throat. His hands come up to your waist, steadying you, and for a moment it's like every other time—the familiar heat, the familiar hunger, the familiar way your body presses into his like he's the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.
You climb deeper into his lap, your knees bracketing his hips. You roll against him, a slow, desperate grind, chasing the friction that might quiet the ache for even a few seconds.
You need him to be enough. You need him to be the answer, the cure, the thing that scares the monster out of you.
"Baby." His voice is breathless, his hands tightening on your waist. "Slow down."
You don't—you can't. Slowing down means thinking, and thinking means remembering the cold hands, the sharp teeth, his mouth on your fingers while your husband slept three feet away. So you kiss him harder. You grind down against the pressure in his underwear, a desperate little sound escaping your throat.
"Hey." His grip shifts, trying to tame you. "Hey, slow down. Just—"
Your hand drops to grasp him, but he's quicker than you. He closes around your wrists, and your back hits the mattress, his weight settling over you, his knees bracketing your hips. He keeps your hands pinned down on either side of your head, breathing heavy above your form.
You thrash. Not playfully, either. Not with a smile or a giggle or a pout. It's a full-body thrash, fuelled by a sharp and sudden frustration, verging on genuine anger. You twist beneath him, trying to free your hands, trying to arch up into the heat of his body.
"Stop." His voice is quiet. "Just stop. For a second."
You thrash again. You hiss his name, and you even try to kick him, but he shifts his weight enough to keep you fully restrained. He doesn't budge. His grip on your wrists is secure, his weight solid and unmovable.
It's only when you feel your tears sliding from your temples into your hairline that you realize you're still crying. You must look insane. You must look like exactly what you are: a woman trying to fuck her way out of her own damnation.
"Please." The word comes out broken, barely a whisper. You don't know if you're asking him to let go or to never let go.
"No." He shakes his head. "We're not doing this."
"Why not?"
"Every time you get scared, or something upsets you, you climb into my lap and kiss me. I don't know what you're trying to do or why, but..." His voice isn't quite as steady as it usually is. A hitch in his breath, a flicker of something else. He swallows. "I can't just fuck the hurt out of you. It's not right."
"It helps." Your voice cracks. "Please. Just help me."
He stares down at you. His eyes are so tired. So unbearably, impossibly tired. And beneath the exhaustion, there's something you've never seen before.
"Sweetheart." He whispers. "You're scaring me."
Your body goes slack beneath him, but his grip doesn't loosen. He still holds your wrists against the mattress, still keeps his weight braced above you, still watches you with those wide, careful eyes. Like you've gone rabid.
He shouldn't have to hold me down, you think. A good wife doesn't need to be restrained.
A good wife doesn't claw at her husband while she's still crying. A good wife doesn't grind against him like a bitch in heat, chasing a relief he can't give her, chasing a hunger that has nothing to do with love. A good wife doesn't show her burning desire. Desire belongs to the husband. It's his to wield and use, and for her to accept it.
But here you are. Pinned to your own marriage bed for all the wrong reasons, your face wet with tears you can't explain, your body still aching with a want he didn't ask for—a want to be consumed, to be devoured without shame, without guilt. Of course he doesn't know what to do with it. You crave something he cannot give you.
The fight drains out of you all at once, leaving nothing but the hollow ache and the shame and the terrible, traitorous thought that rises up before you can stop it.
Sunghoon wouldn't stop.
Sunghoon wouldn't be scared. He would see the hunger on your face and recognize it. He would give you exactly what you were asking for. He would pin you to the mattress and sink his teeth into your throat and make the ache disappear. He wouldn't try to save you. He would let you drown.
"Baby?"
Jake's voice cuts through the dark. You blink, and the fantasy recedes, with Sunghoon's face dissolving, the cold hands retreating, the sharp teeth fading back into the shadows where they belong.
Your husband is still there. Still hovering over you with that furrow between his brows, that gentle, worried look he's been wearing for weeks. He's been talking. You haven't been listening.
"I think I know what's going on."
You look up.
"We haven't been to church in weeks. Either of us. Ever since the wedding, we've just... let it slip." His voice is so certain. "You're losing touch with God, and it's scaring you."
Losing touch.
Your eyes land on the cross around his neck, catching the pale light from the window. It's the same one he was wearing when you met him all those years ago. You've never seen him without it.
Jake is a good Christian. He always has been. His faith has never wavered, never faltered, never turned its back on him the way yours turned its back on you.
Foolishly, you'd once hoped that his goodness might rub off on you, that marrying a man who loved God so easily might help you remember how to do the same. Now you wonder if you're doing the opposite. If you're the one dragging him away from the light.
"I'm not saying it's the whole answer. I'm just saying... maybe it's a start." He presses a kiss to your head. "Let's go. Together. It can't hurt, right?"
The hope in your chest is as steady as a single lit candle in the wind. Somehow, it still burns—It flickers, it wavers, but it still burns. You don't know if it's because you're too stubborn to let it go out, or if you only cling to it because it's the only thing you know.
"Yeah," You nod. You try a smile, though it feels stiff against your cheeks. "Let's go."
The church is small and quaint, an old-fashioned-looking chapel. Stained glass windows filter in colour from the grey winter light, and the air smells of incense and old wood and the faint, sweet perfume of the elderly women who fill the front pews.
You sit near the back, and Jake holds your hand throughout the opening prayers, his thumb tracing those same familiar circles. When the choir rises to sing, he glances at you with a small, encouraging smile. See? the smile says. This is where we belong.
You try to feel it. You close your eyes. You bow your head. You let the Latin verses wash over you, the same ones Jake joked about forgetting as a boy—Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis—and wait for the peace that is supposed to follow.
The prayers feel hollow in your mouth, words without meaning. The hymns rise and fall, but they bring you no peace. The stained glass saints stare down at you with flat, judgmental eyes, and you feel the weight of their disapproval.
You don't belong here. You are sitting in the house of God with the stain of your dreams still fresh on your skin, with the memory of a monster's eyes and sharp teeth and the wet heat of your own arousal clinging to you beneath your skirt. You are filthy.
Jake squeezes your hand, and you flinch.
"You okay?" he whispers.
You look at him, his smile, his earnest concern.
You don't belong. You are filthy, you are damned. But you are trying. God help you, you are trying.
Returning the squeeze of his hand, you nod.
The service drags on. The priest's homily is about faith in times of trial, about holding fast to belief when the world grows dark around you. You sit with your hands folded in your lap, your spine rigid, listening to the words but taking in none of it.
When the final blessing is given, and the congregation rises to leave, you feel like you've been holding your breath for an hour and only just now remembered how to exhale.
"See?" Jake says, his arm slipping around your waist as you walk toward the doors. "That was nice, right?"
"Hey, lady!"
The voice echoes through the vestibule, bright and unmistakable, and you freeze. Jake turns, his arm still around you, and you watch his expression shift from confusion to surprise as a lanky figure in a rumpled button-up shirt comes bounding toward you through the thinning crowd.
Niki. From the library. The collar of his shirt askew. His hair looks like it hasn't seen a comb since last Sunday. And he's grinning like you're the most exciting thing to happen to him all week.
"Hey, lady! And sir—" He glances at Jake, giving him a quick, awkward nod. "Lady's husband. Hi."
"We need to go," you say quickly, your hand tightening on Jake's arm. "Sorry, Niki, we're—"
"What's this?" Jake's free hand has already reached out, plucking a slim paperback from the boy's grip before either of you can react. He turns it over, reading the cover. "Vampire lore, huh?"
Jake turns the book toward you. The cover shows a shadowed figure with glowing eyes, looming over a sleeping woman. The Old World Vampire: A Study of Belief, Burial, and Blood.
"I keep it in the Bible during service," Niki grabs it back, oblivious to how Jake's expression flickers with all the shock, scandal, and the distant horror of a youth group alumnus at the thought of someone tucking something so unholy between the pages of Scripture. "Please don't tell my mom. She'd kill me if she knew I was reading this stuff in church."
Jake doesn't respond to Niki. He's looking at you now, and the lightness in his voice is a thin veneer over something sharper.
"Sweetheart." He waits until you meet his eyes. "How exactly do you know this kid?"
"We met at the library. A few weeks ago."
"Dude." Niki is staring at Jake now with unbearable sincerity. "Your wife is so cool."
Jake blinks, the exhaustion in his face flickering. His brow lifts almost imperceptibly as he glances at you, a question forming at the corner of his mouth. Something in his expression is almost amused.
"She's the only person in this entire town who cares about this stuff. My mom literally tried to get the pastor to purify me one time because of my 'satanic theories' but she—" He jabs a finger toward you, his face alight. "She gets it."
The amusement dies.
"What stuff?"
You can feel Jake's stare now, the weight of it pressing against the side of your face. You don't return it.
Niki opens his mouth to answer, but Jake raises a hand.
"I'm asking her."
The silence that follows has Niki's grin faltering. He looks at you, then at Jake, just catching up to the tension in the room.
"History. Folklore." You swallow, "The occult—"
"Vampires." Jake finishes for you, flatly. Then turns to Niki. "My wife talks to you about vampires, is that it?"
Niki blinks, nodding enthusiastically. "You're so lucky, man. Seriously. I've got no one to talk to about this stuff and you just, like, get to be married to her. That's insane."
"Yeah. Lucky me."
"We should go," you say quickly. "Goodbye — "
"Wait!" Niki is already digging in his pocket, his fingers closing around a crumpled scrap of paper. "I wanted to give you this. My Discord."
He points at the username scrawled across the paper: xX_vampK1_Xx "I kept waiting for you to come back to the library, but you never did, so..." He thrusts it toward you, his expression almost painfully eager. "Message me? Please?"
From the distance, a woman's voice calls out. "Niki! Car. Now."
"That's my mom." He shoves the paper into your hand, his fingers cold and quick. "Okay, bye lady! Bye, lady's husband!"
And then he's gone, swallowed by the crowd of departing church-goers, leaving you standing in the vestibule with a scrap of paper in your fist and your husband staring at the side of your face.
The drive home is quiet.
Jake doesn't speak until you're through the front door, until his keys are tossed onto the hall table and his coat is shed. You shed yourself of your own coat, the small paper Niki had handed you still folded in its pocket.
"When I said go out to town and make friends," he says, his voice carefully level, "I didn't think you'd go befriending... emo teenagers."
You don't answer. You smooth the sleeve of your coat, align it on the hanger and close the closet door with a soft click.
"Kid gave you his Discord in front of me. At church. Ballsy, I'll give him that." A laugh, but there's nothing funny about his tone. "Must've really charmed him with all that vampire talk."
"Don't tell me you're jealous of a high schooler." You turn to face him finally, your back against the closet door.
"You know that's not it." His arms cross over his chest. "You never told me you went to the library. You never told me you were—what, researching? Talking with some kid who hides monster books inside his Bible?"
You push off the door and walk past him, into the kitchen. Away from the hurt in his eyes that you can't quite bear to witness.
"You're keeping secrets from me." He raises his voice ever so slightly, not enough to startle you, but enough to be heard from down the hall. "You're not going to explain yourself?"
His footsteps trail behind you. You reach the sink and turn on the faucet, letting the water run for no reason at all. Just sound. Something to drown out the shame.
"I went to the library to read about vampires. Because I thought—Because I know our neighbour is a vampire." You say, "And I didn't tell you because I knew you would look at me like... this."
Jake exhales, a long, measured breath.
You turn off the faucet, eyes glued to the tub of hot water, but you don't reach for any dishes.
"You don't believe me. So why would I tell you?"
His hands find your shoulders, warm and steady, and he turns you gently away from the sink. Away from the dirty dishes and the pretense that any of this is normal.
"I believe that you believe it." His thumbs trace the curve of your shoulders. "I believe you're scared. I believe something is wrong. I just don't think it's what you think it is."
"That's not the same thing."
"No. It's not."
He's quiet for a moment. Then, with a sigh, he guides you. His hand finds the small of your back. He pulls out a chair at the kitchen table and waits until you sit. Then he sits across from you and takes both your hands in his.
"Don't keep things from me." His voice is low, but it sounds like a plea. "I don't care how crazy it is. Even if you became a madwoman, I would never leave you. Never." He squeezes your hands. "Please. Don't hide. Don't push me away."
"I'm sorry," you look down at your joined hands. "I'm sorry that I'm like this. I'm sorry I can't just be normal."
"Stop. Don't apologize." He lifts one hand to your chin, tilting your face up until you meet his eyes. "I love you. I'll love you 'til the day I die."
You nod, sucking in a breath. You think you would be crying if you hadn't already shed all your tears earlier that morning.
"I love you too."
He nods, but the furrow in his brow doesn't smooth. His thumb traces a slow arc across your knuckles, and you can feel him preparing himself for whatever he's about to say.
"I want you to see someone. A therapist, or a counsellor. Someone who can actually help you work through all of this.” His voice is gentle, but there's no hesitation in it. He's been thinking about this. Maybe for a while. "These fears. The nightmares. It's not healthy. You can't spend the rest of your life like this."
A therapist. Your eyes drop to Jake's neck, where you know a vampire's bite hides beneath his collar.
"It won't help."
"It might." He squeezes your hands, willing you to meet him halfway. "You don't know unless you try. Even if it doesn't, at least we tried."
He lifts your hands to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles. His eyes are full of love, but tired. So very tired. You can see it in his movements, in the slight hunch of his shoulders.
You could argue. You could try to explain why it's a waste of money and time. But that's not what he needs to hear.
"Okay." You say. "I'll go."
His eyes widen, like he'd braced himself for a fight and doesn't quite know what to do now. Then he pushes back his chair and stands, pulling you up with him. His arms wrap around you before you've even found your footing, one hand splayed across your spine, the other cradling the back of your head. You feel his breath against your hair, warm and unsteady, and you feel his smile.
"Thank you," he murmurs. "Thank you."
He pulls back just enough to kiss your forehead. Then your cheek. Then the bridge of your nose, clumsy and reverent, and you almost laugh despite everything. He's already talking about a counsellor his mother knows, a name he'll look up, a number he'll call in the morning, but the words blur together, lost in the rhythm of his heart against your ear.
Being held is not the same as being saved, but you close your eyes and accept his embrace anyway. His arms are warm, and his heart is steady, and for now, that's enough. It's all you have left.
The call comes Monday afternoon.
You've been at your laptop for the better part of an hour, filling out a self-assessment form for the counsellor Jake's mother recommended. On a scale of one to ten, how often do you feel overwhelmed by daily tasks? Do you experience intrusive thoughts? Have you ever felt disconnected from reality? The last question is taking you longer than it should, when your phone buzzes against the kitchen table. The number is one you don't recognize, and you almost let it ring. But then you look back at your screen, and decide you'd rather do anything else than pick out numbers on a scale that can't measure what's actually wrong with you.
"Mrs. Sim?"
Your hand tightens around the phone. Jake's boss explains something about how he looks terrible, how he nearly collapsed getting up from his desk, how someone needs to come get him immediately.
"I told him he should have stayed home," the boss's gruff voice says over the phone, "He kept saying he didn't want to let anyone down. Is he always this stubborn?"
You find him at his desk, pale and half-slumped, a coworker hovering uncertainly at his elbow. Between the two of you, you get him to the car. He doesn't argue. That's how you know it's bad. And you watch him from the corner of your eye the whole drive home, his head against the window as he fights his own exhaustion.
"It's nothing. Really." His words slur together as you guide him down the hall, his arm heavy across your shoulders. "Probably just a cold. I'll be fine in the morning."
You ease him onto the mattress. He sinks into it, his body going slack the moment his head touches the pillow. His eyes close. His breathing evens out, shallow but steady.
You bring him soup, which he doesn't eat. You bring him water, which he barely sips. You sit on the edge of the bed and watch the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and the whole time your mind is spinning through the past few weeks like a reel of film you can't stop.
Every night you've woken gasping from dreams you can't confess to. Every morning he's held you through the aftermath, whispering reassurances into your hair while the shadows under his eyes grew darker and darker. Every time he's said I'm trying, baby, I'm trying so hard—and you've let him. You've let him carry you, let him comfort you, let him pour himself out trying to understand something you can't explain.
And what have you given him in return? Tears. Secrets. A hand squeezing his at church while you both pretended everything was fine. Late nights where he held you instead of sleeping, early mornings where he made you coffee and asked gentle questions and got nothing back but silence.
You look at him now, with his work shirt still half-unbuttoned, his face slack, his fingers twitching faintly against the blanket and feel the guilt settle over you. He's spent every ounce of himself trying to save you from a monster he doesn't believe in.
"I'm sorry," you whisper to the quiet room. He doesn't stir.
The next day, he is worse.
You can't get him to lift his head for more than a few seconds. The medicine you brought sits untouched on the nightstand. His skin has taken on a translucence that makes your blood run cold, and when you press a cool cloth to his forehead, he barely seems to register the touch.
"Just need to sleep," he murmurs, the words slurring together. "Don't worry. You worry too much."
You don't leave his side.
You watch the hours crawl past, the gray morning fading into a grayer afternoon, the light at the window never quite brightening, and try to convince yourself it's a fever. A winter bug that hit him harder than most. But even as you tell yourself these things, your eyes keep drifting to the collar of his shirt, to the pale skin beneath, to the two small marks you know are there, still healing. You don't see any other marks, but the thought lingers.
By the third day, he can barely open his eyes.
You've stopped leaving the room except to refill the water glass he can't drink from. You've stopped pretending this is something you can fix with soup and cold compresses and whispered prayers. You sit in the chair beside the bed, your knees drawn up to your chest, and watch him fade.
It's around noon when you notice it. The sun is high in the sky today, not a single cloud, and the light illuminates the blood stain on his pillowcase, clear as day.
A small stain, rust-brown and drying, near the nape of his neck. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him, as you ease him onto his side and lift the hem of his shirt.
The marks are everywhere. Some are fresh—bright red, the skin around them inflamed and angry. Others have scabbed over, dark and ugly and bruised. Bite marks. Dozens of them. Clustered between his shoulder blades, and trailing down like a map of slow consumption.
You don't realize you're crying until a tear falls, mingling with the dried blood on his skin.
The sound you make must wake him, because his fingers twitch against the blanket, and his voice, thin and weak, drifts up from the pillow.
"Hey." A long pause. He doesn't have the strength to turn his head. "Don't cry."
You help him lie back against the pillows, your hands trembling so badly you can barely manage it. His eyes find yours—still that same warm brown, still impossibly gentle, even now, even after everything—and the tears come harder. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but doesn't. Whether he can't find the strength or the words, you aren't sure. But you aren't about to let him finish, even if he could.
"I have to tell you something." You say quick and certain, though you feel anything but. "Please just listen."
He blinks, slow and heavy. Barely aware, barely awake.
"When I was younger. Before I met you. Before I even knew what I was doing. I prayed for something God couldn't give me. Something sinful. Something—" You swallow, force yourself to continue. "Lustful. Shameful. Every night. Every prayer. It was consuming me."
Jake's brow furrows. His hand moves across the blanket, searching for yours.
"My prayers were answered," you keep going. "But not by God. By something else. Something evil. These nightmares didn't appear out of nowhere. They're the consequence of what I did. It came to me in my dreams. It tempted me. It tainted me. For years. And now..."
You can't look at him. You stare at the blanket, at the pattern of the quilt, at the pale shape of his hand still reaching for yours.
"I've dragged you into the darkness with me." You grip his hand, "I'm sorry, Jake."
Silence. A long, stretching silence, broken only by the rasp of his breathing.
Then his fingers find yours.
"Baby."
You look up. His eyelids are heavy, his brow furrowed with an effort that seems to take everything he has left. The slow, laboured machinery of a mind trying to surface and failing.
"Baby, you are the light of my life." His voice is barely a whisper now, each word an effort. "I know you. I know your heart. It's pure. The purest of them all. Don't say scary stuff like that."
"You don't understand." You shake your head, the tears sliding hot and fast down your cheeks.
"I know." A ghost of a smile crosses his lips. He strokes the back of your hand, the motion so familiar, so tender, that it makes your chest ache. "But you understand me either."
The room is quiet. The light through the window has shifted—the gray afternoon giving way to the pale gold of a winter sunset, slanting through the glass and spilling across the bed.
Jake's gaze drifts to your face, and something in his expression changes. Softens. Opens.
"If only you could see yourself right now." His voice is barely audible, but there is a warmth in it that remains. "The way the light hits you. You're so beautiful." His fingers tighten around yours. It's the last of his strength, poured into a single gesture. "You look like an angel."
Your heart swells.
He doesn't see it. Even as you confess words you'd never dared to even think about out loud, he doesn't see the rot, the sin, the stain that has been spreading through you since long before you ever met him.
"You should see yourself," he murmurs again, his eyes already drifting closed. "So pretty. My pretty wife. I love you so much."
"I love you more." You whisper, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
He doesn't understand what you've told him. Or maybe he does. Maybe the truth is too big, too impossible, too far outside the world he believes in. All you know is that even now, when your sins are quite literally bleeding him dry, he looks at you and sees something worth loving.
You lay your head against his chest, closing your eyes. You listen to the fading rhythm of his heart, like a ticking clock.
You will not let time run out.
"Hello? Who is—wait." A pause. A sharp inhale. "Lady? Is that you? You actually made a Discord!"
Niki's voice crackles through your laptop speakers, tinny and incredulous. In the background, you can hear the faint, distorted blast of music, which cuts off abruptly as he slams a button. A desk chair creaks.
"This is amazing. I didn't think you'd actually call me. I mean, I hoped, but I've been checking my Discord every day since church."
You stare at the Discord interface, feeling decades older than you are. Jake lies down the hall, silent and still. You made sure he was asleep, though that wasn't hard to ensure. He hadn't done so much as open his eyes since the afternoon.
"I need your help."
"Help. Yeah. Okay. Um. Help with what, exactly?" His voice drops to a theatrical whisper. "Is it a vampire thing?"
You take in a breath.
"I need to know how to kill one." The silence on the other end stretches so long you think the call has dropped. Then you add, "Hypothetically."
"Oh. My. God." A drawer opens. Pages ruffle. "Okay. So. Classic methods. A wooden stake through the heart works, but the wood matters—hawthorn, ash, some sources say rowan. Decapitation is more reliable, but that's hard to pull off unless you have a sword, which I'm guessing you don't."
"I don't."
"Sunlight. Direct, full exposure. Not just a cloudy day—like, dawn, clear sky, no shade. Fire works on basically everything, but you'd have to trap it somehow." He's speaking faster now, the words tumbling over each other. "There's also holy water and consecrated ground, but the research on that is mixed—"
"That's enough. Thank you."
"What? No. Wait. I have so much more. I have an entire notebook. I have—" He stops. His voice changes, sharpens. "Wait a second. Why do you need to know this?"
"Goodbye, Niki—"
"No, hang on—You're literally asking how to kill a vampire." His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, the words still returning with a squeak as they come out in a rush. "Holy shit. You do know a vampire. I knew it. Is it in town? Is it drinking people's blood? Did it attack you? Are you in danger?"
You sigh, a hand to your temple. He's talking so fast, you can't find a proper opening to leave, and though you know you should probably just hang up, some part of you doesn't want to leave the poor boy in a state of panic.
"I’m not in any danger. I'm—”
"I can help, you know. I'm not just some kid. I know so much about this stuff. More than anyone. I've read every book in that library twice. I've read books that aren't even in the library. I know lore that isn't even translated yet. You need a vampire taken down? I'm your guy. I mean, I've never done it, but I could probably figure it out."
"That's sweet of you, really, but—"
"And you're just a housewife—not saying that housewives can't kick ass! I'm sure you could. Maybe. But you're not exactly, like, a vampire hunter." He sucks in a breath so sharp you hear it whistle through his teeth. "Wait. Shouldn't your husband be protecting you? Why isn't he—does he even know about this?"
You close your eyes.
"He doesn't know," Niki gasps in horror. His voice drops to a horrified whisper. "That's why you were asking about soul-contracts in the library. That's why you looked like you were going to throw up when I read that passage. You're in a soul-bond with a vampire, and your husband doesn't know."
Your head is in your hands now, his voice rambling through the laptop speaker.
"That's—that's insane. That's literally insane." He sputters, the words tangling in his mouth. "Isn't that like—I mean, a soul-contract, isn't that kind of like—isn't that like cheating? Like, spiritually? Eternally? Your husband thinks he's married to you, but you're already—"
"I have to go."
"Wait!"
You end the call.
The laptop screen glows, Niki's profile picture still visible in the corner—some anime character with a stupid hairstyle, smirking at nothing. A notification pops up. Then another. Then a string of them, rapid-fire, the little red badge counting up.
xX_vampK1_Xx: wait xX_vampK1_Xx: pls dont hang up xX_vampK1_Xx: or die
You don't read them all, closing the laptop instead. Wooden stake. Fire. Sunlight.
You wait for him. Curtains drawn back, the window open. The winter air slips through the gap, cold enough to make you shiver in your nightgown, but you remain there, facing the open night. You wait the way you used to wait—on your knees, on the floor, praying for something that God refused to give you. Down the hall, Jake lies in the guest bedroom. The room you'd once hoped would become a nursery. It seems like a distant dream now, a life that belonged to someone else. You'd moved him there before the sun had set, his body heavy, unconscious, and blissfully unaware. He doesn't know what you're about to do. You hope he never will. When the silhouette appears, it's almost a relief. He steps through the parted curtains, and the moonlight reveals him. He's too pale, too still, his dark eyes already fixed on you before you've even found your voice. He's beautiful. He's always been beautiful, and you hate that he is. It would be so much easier if he were grotesque—if his skin were rotting flesh and his eyes were hollow and vacant pits belonging to something long dead, you could recoil. You could run. Instead, you stare, almost forgetting your true intentions for a moment. "Now, this brings back memories." He looms over you, unmoving. His eyes drift to the bed, where your husband is absent. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" "You're killing my husband." He doesn't flinch. Of course he doesn't. He stands there in the center of your bedroom, hands at his sides, and regards you with an expression that teeters on amusement. "Believe me." His gaze drops to your throat, to the cross trembling against your collarbone. A faint smile tugs at his lips. "I would much prefer to have you." There's a silence before you scoff. "Taking the life of the man I love won't make me want you." "Indeed, it won't. You already want me. Yet foolishly, you continue to deny yourself." He is silent for a moment as he watches you clutch helplessly at the cross at your neck. "Look at you. You waited here. Alone, in the dark, to face something that could destroy you in seconds. And you still clutch that thing." His lips curls into a frown. "As if God could ever save you." He takes a few steps forward, leaning down until his lips are at your ear. "But you're a smart girl. You know that He can't." He says, leaning down. One hand reaches for your chin, lifting it to properly meet his gaze. "That's why you prayed to me instead." "I prayed to God." You hiss. "And as always, God did not answer." He drops your chin. Then he moves past you, toward the window. His fingers brush the curtain, and he looks out at the dark street, the bare trees, the distant glint of the river just visible beyond the rooftops. "I was once like you." He says, "I prayed. I prayed for her to heal. I prayed every waking hour at her bedside." His wife. You assume that's who he means. You think of the house he keeps tidy in her memory, the piano that stays tuned for her, but you don't ask. His tone tells you the grief is old, smoothed by the centuries past, no longer a wound but a scar. You swallow the bitter taste in your throat. Selfishly, you dislike the idea of him loving anyone else. The thought is irrational, and deeply shameful, but it surfaces before you can push it back down. "Please do not fret, my love." He says it all too quickly, as if he sensed the shift in you before you felt it yourself. "It was a very long time ago." You open your mouth to protest but the words die on your tongue. He's looking at you with that quiet, knowing expression, and you realize there is no point in lying to a creature who can read your emotions before you've even named them.
"I was merely a fragile human. Hopeful enough to offer God everything. Foolish enough to believe he would answer with anything other than silence." The breeze howls past the window, brushing his hair from his face. "So I found another way. And I have been what I am ever since."
"You were once human, too?" Your voice is soft, curious, and more sincere than you wish it was. He finally turns to face you again, this time with a hint of a smile.
"We are more alike than you know." he holds out a hand to you, and you take it. You let him help you stand, your nightgown catching the wind as you look up at him. "I can smell the shame in you. I've always been able to. It's the same shame I carried centuries ago."
A monster, comparing himself to you. You should feel offended by the way he looks at you, right through you, past the skin and bone, into the soul you've spent a lifetime trying to scrub clean. Though, you suppose he's earned the right. He's been in your dreams for years. He's seen every thought you tried to drown, every aching desire you tried to bury, and how it rots you from the inside. He's seen all of it, and he does not recoil. A man can judge you. A monster cannot. You're horrified to find relief in that thought. "The difference between you and me, however, is that I've stopped pretending to be something I'm not." Your eyes wander to the door briefly, knowing your husband lays peacefully down the hall. "Jake still looks at me as if I'm pure. As if I'm worthy of his love. Even after everything I've done." Your eyes burn, and you blink hard against the sting. "That's all I have, and you're taking it away." "Because I needed to feed. Because you have not given me permission. I cannot take what is mine unless it is offered freely. So I took what was available to me. Your scent on his skin. Your proximity." His eyes hold yours. "Do you understand what that is like? To be bound to someone, to feel their wanting every night, to taste it in the air, and to not be allowed to have them? The blood of animals does nothing. The blood of your husband is unsatisfying. I am ravenous." He steps closer. The space between you shrinks to almost nothing.
"It is not merely blood that you promised me. You offered me your soul. Your life. Your eternal presence. That is what I hunger for—not the taste of you on my tongue, but the whole of you, bound to me as you were always meant to be." His voice drops to a whisper. "Every second I have waited has been a small death. I have died a thousand times since you made your promise."
You know what that hunger feels like. You've carried it your whole life, coiled low in your belly, hot and insistent, never fully quieted. You tried to fill it with prayer. You tried to fill it with your husband's body. Nothing worked. Nothing ever works.
"He is innocent." Your voice splinters. "He doesn't deserve this."
Sunghoon is silent for a long moment. Then he sighs—a soft, tired sound.
"Innocent. Pure of heart. Kind—too kind for a human, if you ask me." He says. "You're terrified of what he'd think. You don't believe his love is unconditional." "How could anyone love this?" A tear slips down your cheek. You had no idea you were on the verge of crying, but you feel it now. The uncontrollable trembling of your body, the sob threatens to escape your throat. Sunghoon's hand rises. His fingers brush your jaw, cool and smooth, tilting your chin upward. You open your eyes. It's the first time you've seen him this close, the moonlight casting a soft glow over his features. His expression is nothing cruel. It's something almost tender, which is far more devastating. "I do." He says. "I love your scent. Your shame. The way you whisper my name in the dark." Your lower lip trembles, and his thumb traces it, feather-light. In fact, all of you trembles. You've stopped trying to decide whether it's out of fear, want, or the draft of winter air. "You offered me your soul long before you ever gave him your hand. That is a promise no ring can compare to." His eyes hold yours, unrelenting. "I love you eternally." His hand trails down your throat. His fingers curl, lightly, around the column of your neck, just holding it, just relishing your pulse beneath his fingertips. The cross dangles between you, and you feel his gaze flicker to it.
"Please understand. I have only ever wanted you. He was merely the vessel I drank from because I could not drink from you." his voice drops to a murmur. "Give me what you promised me. What you've been promising me every night for years. I'm patient. I've waited long, and I can wait longer. Your husband, however..." his eyes drift to the door, an acknowledgement of his fading life down the hall, "He doesn't have the luxury of patience."
"If I refuse, he dies."
Sunghoon doesn't blink. "Yes."
No hesitation. The truth, cold and simple. You feel your hands tighten into fists at your sides.
"That's not a choice. That's not 'asking for permission.' That's a threat." He only laughs in response. "You made a deal with a monster. Did you expect him to play fair?" Sunghoon tilts his head. "I'd argue I've been rather generous. I could have drained him on your wedding night, when he laid hands on what was already mine. Could have left him in your bed, cold and lifeless. But I didn't. I let him live. I even offered him my wine."
He wears the slightest grin, cruel and merciless, and his fangs catch the light. "Aren't I kind?"
"You are vile." You spit. "You are despicable. Awful. And—"
"And you still want me."
The space between you shrinks as he leans closer, until you can feel the chill radiating off his skin, until you can see the faint gleam of the moonlight on his pupils.
"He is not the reason you will say yes."
His voice is quieter now.
"You will say yes because you have been starving for as long as you can remember. Because you have tried to fill that hunger with prayer and penance and the body of a man who loves you but cannot understand you. Because you knelt at your window and begged for relief, and I am the only one who has ever offered it to you. I am the only one who can give it to you." His fingers brush your jaw. Feather-light. "So, go on." He nods, "Tell me what you want." "I want you to leave Jake alone." You hiss. It only makes him grin. You expect nothing less. "And what else?" "I want you to stop making me feel like this." "How do you want me to do that, exactly?" You open your eyes. He's so close now. Your body is trembling—not from the cold, not from fear, but from the unbearable, humiliating effort of holding yourself back. Your thighs press together beneath your nightgown, a needy, restless friction that does nothing to ease the ache. Your pulse hammers in your throat. Between your legs, you're soaked. You've been soaked since he stepped through the curtains. Every inch of you is screaming for relief. Every inch of you has been screaming for years. It's not really a choice. If you pull away, you're letting your husband die and spending the rest of your life mourning a man you loved but couldn't save. Regardless, your body doesn't want to pull away. It made its own choice the moment you knelt at your window all those years ago. Everything since then has been the long, torturous process of coming to accept it. The prayers. The shame. The dreams you woke from, wet and wanting. All of it leading here. To him. "I want you to touch me," you whisper. The words come out ragged, half a sob, half a plea. "I need you to relieve me from this torment. I can't—I can't take it anymore. Please." His hand tightens just barely at your throat.His hand rests at your throat, cool and steady. His touch remains ever patient, and his eyes flicker from yours to your neck like he cannot decide which is more precious to him in this moment. "Say it properly." And you do. "I give you permission. My blood. My body. My soul. Take it. It's all yours. It's always been yours." He exhales—a shuddering, both reverent and ravenous sound.
His hand tightens around your throat, fingers digging into the vulnerable flesh, feeling the pulse hammering beneath his touch, the rush of blood through your veins. He dips his head into the curve of your neck, and the breath he takes in, the groan that rumbles against your skin—they are not the sounds of a man. They belong to a predator who has caught its prey at last and is trying very hard not to devour it all at once.
Your eyes flutter shut.
"If only you could smell yourself right now." His voice comes out rough, almost like a growl, "Your terror, your desperation. Your arousal." He lifts you in a single, clean sweep, as if you weigh no more than a feather. Your feet are off the ground, your body helpless in his grasp, and you don't have the time to react as he throws you down on the marital bed with a force that knocks the breath from your lungs. You barely have time to register the impact before his body is over yours. His knee rises between your thighs, spreading you open beneath him and his hand fists your hair, tilting your head back, baring your throat to the moonlight and his teeth. His gaze drifts down the length of your body, catching on the way your nightgown has ridden up your thighs, on the rise and fall of your chest. He leans forward. "My stubborn, sinful girl. You were never meant for heaven." His fangs press against your pulse, not yet sinking in, but with enough pressure that it makes your breath catch and your body go rigid beneath him. "You were always meant for me." One hand grips your throat, fingers digging into the flesh just beneath your jaw, holding your head in place with a force that borders on bruising. The other rests over your heart, palm flat, enough to feel the frantic rhythm. "So fearful that nobody could love you in the dark, when I have loved you for years." His fangs sink into you, and a cry is torn from your throat, gasping into the dark and your body arches into him without your permission. The sounds he makes are equally as ungraceful and unrestrained— a growl that sounds like it belongs to an animal, a groan that sounds so guttural and almost pained, as if tasting you after all this time is a relief so profound it hurts. You writhe beneath him, but his body holds you steady, his grasp so harsh that it's sure to bruise. The pull of his mouth is rhythmic, hypnotic, each draw of your blood sending a fresh wave of heat spiraling through your core. You are dizzy with it. You are alive with it. You are his, and you have always been his, and the acceptance of that truth is the single most liberating thing you have ever felt. Disgust is a distant flicker, extinguished before it can catch. The pain is already gone. In its place, a pleasure so sharp and bright it borders on agony races through your veins. You shake with it, every inch of you raw and exposed, the sheets a torment against your feverish skin. Your hands find his back and hold on, clawing at his shirt. "What is—?" Your voice is a whiny, pathetic sound, piercing through heavy, laboured breaths. The ache between your legs from before is now throbbing with a sort of want you couldn't even begin to describe. Something unnatural, feverish and all-consuming. "Why do I feel like—?"
"It feels good, doesn't it?" His fangs retract, but his mouth stays, kissing the wound he left behind, lapping up every last drop of your blood. "The venom. It immobilizes prey. Turns pain into pleasure. Though you didn't need much convincing, did you?" A broken sound tears from your throat as his tongue drags down the column of your neck, chasing a stray bead of blood. His hand rips your nightgown higher, baring you to the cold air, and he finds you soaked. You can feel his grin at your neck.
"You were begging to be fucked long before I ever bit you," he whispers, "Long before your nice little husband ever put his hands on you." "Please, Sunghoon," The words tumble out before your pride can catch them. It's wrecked, shameless, and entirely honest. "Just touch me. Please."
He obliges without a word. Your panties are eased down your thighs, the cold air a brief shock against your overheated skin, and then he finds you—slick and aching and desperately ready. A single, long finger slips inside with no resistance at all, and the sound that escapes you is almost a sob. You might cry from just that alone, graciously accepting any kind of touch at this point. You might already be crying, though you don't have the sense to think about it. You're lost in the sensation, clenching around him, your hips rolling forward of their own accord, chasing more. "It feels so much better when you give in." His voice is soft, almost crooning, as his finger moves inside you with excruciating slowness, a rhythm designed to tease rather than satisfy. "When you stop denying yourself." A frustrated sound catches in your throat. Your hips lift, chasing his hand, and he hums in quiet approval. Then a second finger slides in beside the first, stretching you, and the cry that escapes you is louder than before. Your head falls back against the pillow. Your fingers twist in the sheets. And then his fangs are at your throat again—a sharp, searing sting that melts almost instantly into heat. He drinks as his fingers move inside you, a slow, devastating counterpoint: the pull of his mouth, the thrust of his hand, the weight of his body pinning you to the mattress. You are caught between pleasure and surrender, and you have stopped caring which is which. "My sweet little sinner." He pulls back just enough to speak, his lips stained, his breath cool against the wound he left behind. His fingers curl inside you, finding a place that makes your vision blur. "What would he think if he saw you like this? His fragile, innocent wife, offering herself to a monster, begging for more." He thrusts deeper, and your back arches off the bed. "Would it break him? Would it shatter that pure, simple love he carries for you?" The tears come before you can stop them, spilling down your temples and into your hair. A sob tears free, raw and ugly, and you shake your head against the pillow. "No?" His voice is soft, almost tender. His thumb traces your cheek, smearing the tears there. "Use your words, my love." "I don't care." The words rip out of you, jagged and desperate, louder than you intended. Your hips are still rolling against his hand, chasing the climax he keeps just out of reach. "I don't care what he thinks. I just want this." You feel the pressure building, the tightening in your belly, rushing toward the edge faster than you can outrun it.
"Please." The word is barely a whisper now, your voice wrecked and trembling. "Please take me. I can't—I need—please." His fingers still inside you. You cry out at the loss, at the empty ache he leaves behind, and when you open your eyes, he is looking down at you with something like awe. Something like triumph. Something like love, if a monster is capable of love, as he claims. He grabs the front of your nightgown and rips it open. The fabric splits with a sound like a scream. You gasp, arms flying up to cover yourself, but he seizes your wrists and wrenches them away. Forces your hand down between your bodies, pressing your palm against the hard, aching length of him.
He releases you to tear at his own clothes. His shirt. His pants. Then he is bare above you, and the sight is almost too much—the blood on his mouth, the pale plane of his chest, and his eyes, how they devour the sight of you whole, looking at you in all your filth and finding you holy. "I'm going to ruin you." You feel the tip of him at your entrance, and your body stiffens. His eyes hold yours, dark and depthless and full of terrible tenderness. "Just like you begged me to." He sinks into you in one slow, devastating thrust, and your mouth falls open on a sound that might be his name, but before it can escape, his lips find yours. He swallows your cry the way he swallowed your blood, consuming it, claiming it as his own. His tongue sliding against yours, and you taste your own blood on his lips. His mouth never leaves yours, as if he would drink every sound you make, as if there is no part of you he does not intend to devour. You start to cry. Not because it hurts. Not because you're being ruined, though you are, though you've wanted to be. You cry because it's better than your dreams ever were. Because every fantasy you spent years repenting for, every shameful vision that drove you to your knees at the window, was a pale shadow of this. He pulls back to look at you, and the expression on his face is rapture. His hand is wrapped around your throat, holding you steady for each forceful thrust, pinning you to the mattress, to the moment, to him. The rhythm of his hips is relentless and perfect. Every drag of him inside you eases the ache you've carried for so long it has become a part of you, and at the same time deepens it, feeds it, stokes it into something insatiable. The venom only heightens the feeling—pleasure easing your hunger, each stroke pushing you closer to an edge you no longer want to escape. He is the most beautiful creature you have ever seen. You think it without flinching. You think it while tears stream down your temples and into your hair, while your body arches to meet his, while you give yourself over to the monster who answered when God wouldn't. He is beautiful. He is yours. You are his. And you have never felt less like pretending otherwise. He fills you in a way your husband never could. It's terrible and entirely the truth. You have spent weeks trying to use Jake as a remedy—his body, his love, his gentle, faithful hands—and it worked, for a few hours at a time. But the hunger you carry was never something he could satisfy. He was never meant to. That was never the deal you made. This is what you bargained for. What you knelt at the window and begged to feel. You lose yourself in the rhythm of him. The thick, unrelenting drive of his cock. The weight of his body pinning you to the mattress. The way he takes and takes and takes, and still watches you like you are something sacred. His dark eyes hold yours with something that looks like awe. Something that looks like devotion. Something that looks, impossibly, like love. If you even believe that a creature like him can feel love. Though love is the furthest thing from your mind right now. "That's it." His voice is a low growl, rough with pleasure and hunger and the effort of holding himself back. "Cry for me. Let me see you fall apart."
Your nails rake down his back. Your thighs tremble around his hips. The tears are still falling, streaming into your hair, but you don't hold them back. You don't try to hide. You let him watch. You let him see all of it. The surrender, the pleasure, the relief at last. You finish, your high crashing through your body in pulses that leave you gasping, clenching around him, your back bowing off the bed. You cry out his name, and he groans as he feels you break around him, his rhythm faltering for just a moment before he drives deeper, harder, more. You barely have time to come down before his fangs find your throat again. The bite is sharp and sweet, and the venom floods your veins anew—reigniting the fire that had just begun to go out, pulling you back toward the edge you just tumbled over. "More," you plead. The word is raw, scraped clean of pride. "More." He gives you more. He gives you everything. And you take it all of it with your eyes open and your soul laid bare beneath him. More. More. More. The night folded in on itself, a long, delirious rhythm of hunger and satiation, of teeth and hands and the slick press of bodies moving together in the dark. He would drink until you grew faint, then pull back, laving the wound with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and wait for your eyes to flutter open, for your hips to lift in silent, desperate invitation. And then he would begin again. You lost count. It didn't matter. Time had become a thing that happened to other people. You remember, dimly, the sound of your own voice sobbing his name into the hollow of his throat. You remember the weight of him, the cold press of his skin slowly warming with each swallow of your blood. You remember his mouth tracing the length of your collarbone, his fingers mapping the dip of your waist, his voice murmuring things against your flesh. The window stood open through all of it. The curtains drifted. The winter air slipped in, cooling the sweat on your skin, but you never felt cold. You felt nothing but him. Nothing but the slow, spreading heat of the venom and the terrible peace of finally letting go.
The pale, gray light starts to rise in the distance. The hush of early morning. The distant, muffled quiet of a world still half-asleep.
He is still inside you. Still moving a slow, grinding rhythm, more reflex now than urgency, the last shivering aftershocks of a night that had no end. His face is buried in the curve of your neck, his lips parted against the wound that hasn't closed, and his hips roll against yours in a lazy, hypnotic pulse that feels less like fucking and more like breathing.
Your hand is in his hair. Your fingers are tangled in the dark silk of it, your thumb tracing the shell of his ear, and the gesture feels so natural, so intimate, that your throat tightens with something you refuse to name. Then the light shifts.
It spills through the open window, pale gold, the first true ray of a winter dawn. It creeps across the floorboards, slow and searching, and climbs the edge of the bed. It touches your bare ankle. It warms the tangled sheets. It reaches, like a blessing or a blade, for the man in your arms. You watch it happen.
It finds his shoulder first. The light glistens, a luminous sheen on the marble of his skin catching the ridge of his shoulder blade, the curve of his spine, the place where your nails have left their marks across his back. He doesn't notice. His mouth is still at your throat, his body still moving against yours, lost in the rhythm of consumption. "Sunghoon." He lifts his head.
His eyes are black, pupils blown, the irises reduced to thin rings of dark amber. Your blood is on his lips. Your blood everywhere. All over your own lips, all over your neck, your chest and the sheets beneath you. And his skin, his beautiful, terrible skin, is beginning to gleam in the morning light. Every plane of his face limned in gold, the sharp angle of his jaw, the impossible symmetry of his features. He looks like something that fell from heaven and landed wrong. He looks at you. And you see the moment he understands. The light is spreading. It touches his temple. The curve of his ear. The column of his throat. And where it touches, his skin begins to change—taking on a strange, crystalline shimmer, like the surface of fresh snow catching the first light of dawn. It starts to unmake him. He doesn't move. He doesn't flee. He just looks at you, old and tired and almost, almost human. Your hand is still in his hair. You don't pull it back. A broken growl, low but softened, escapes him, and his forehead drops to yours. His eyes close, and for a long, suspended moment, you lie there together in the path of the rising sun. It starts at the edges, before the shimmer spreads a slow, glittering dissolution, like diamonds fracturing along the surface of him. The places where the sun touches him turn luminous, iridescent, and then they begin to separate. He is coming apart in fine fragments, a mist of dust that catches the light and holds it, suspended, before drifting upward on the morning air. His eyes find yours one last time. There's no fear in them. No anger. Just that same dark, depthless devotion. That same hunger. Your body is still humming with the aftermath of pleasure, your thighs slick, your throat aching with the memory of his hands around it. You close your eyes. They're too heavy to keep open.
"More." The last thing you feel is his hand returning to your neck, and his teeth sinking into your flesh once more. The last thing you hear is the sound of his growl as he savours his last meal. Tangled with death, you lay, lips parted in pleasure.
nav ✰.ᐟ m.list ✰.ᐟ thanks for reading ♡
do u know what happened to @/paarksunghoon i miss her 😔
She’s alive! Don’t fret! Just busy with her life and spending some time away from Tumblr
Mr. Good Guy — p.sh x f!reader
summary — Unlike his friends, Sunghoon is a good guy. He would never, ever dare to look at another woman... until you came along.
18+ mdni ⚠︎ smut, college au, cheater!Hoon x sidechick!reader, sub!reader, mean dom!Sunghoon, very possessive!Sunghoon, p in v, oral (f and m receiving), face fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, messy sex, multiple orgasms, drunk sex, degradation, praise, mild exhibitionism, bathroom sex, cumshots, using a tie as restraints, partially-clothed sex, alcohol consumption, very brief mentions of puking, infidelity, morally corrupt characters, misogynistic themes & language, major pathetic loser behaviour on hoon’s behalf, feat. hyung line as hoon’s equally pathetic loser roommates, Jay is the only decent one of them tbh, girlfriend is unnamed, tw league of legends mentioned
words — 9.4k
a/n — raise your hand if, instead of studying for midterms, you decided to write almost 10k words of pure filth... oh, just me?
From ♡ : have fun tonight.
From ♡ : love you!
Have fun?
Sunghoon sighs at the message notification, looking up from his cellphone to glare around the room. The apartment is nearly packed to the brim with his roommate’s party guests, though that wasn’t saying much, given how small the place was. Jake is hosting and naturally, being the loser he is, all of his other friends are losers too. Which means he has to steep in the stench of this loser-filled apartment all night, counting down the seconds until all of them leave. As if dealing with three loser roommates isn’t annoying enough as is. Needless to say, he would not be having any “fun”.
“God, it stinks,” Sunghoon says under his breath, bringing his shirt to his nose, “do Jake’s friends, like, know what deodorant is?”
“Shouldn’t you be used to it?” Heeseung’s eyes are glued to his phone screen, doomscrolling. And normally, Sunghoon would mock him for acting like a damn iPad kid at a party of all places, but honestly, he’s itching to do the same. “I’m willing to bet your Comp Sci lectures smell a whole lot worse.”
“At least that’s a lecture hall and not my apartment.”
“Our apartment,” Jay corrects, emerging from the crowd to hand them each a can of beer. Sunghoon takes his, and Heeseung doesn’t notice until Jay rests the cold metal atop his head. He takes it without so much as glancing up. “Which always smells anyway, thanks to you.”
“Me?” Heeseung scoffs, opening the can with one hand before taking a loud, careless gulp. Sunghoon watches with disgust as the drink spills down the sides of his mouth, rolling down his chin.
“Your room is a fucking biohazard. The whole place gets stink-bombed every time you open your damn door.”
“Yeah? And what about your shits stink-bombing the bathroom every morning?”
“That’s a normal bodily function!”
“There’s nothing normal about that smell, dude.”
He rolls his eyes, scrolling a little further on his phone until Sunghoon’s most recent post pops up. It’s him and his girlfriend arm in arm, smiling like they’re on the cover of a Hallmark movie.
“Shit, you had your anniversary?” He squints, reading the caption, “How long has it been, anyway?”
“Two years.”
“Two years?” They answer in unison.
“…Yeah?” Sunghoon raises a brow, raising his drink to his lips. He glares from one to the other as the pair exchange side glances.
“Didn’t realize it was that serious.” Jay adds, and before Sunghoon can even open his mouth to ask what that’s supposed to mean, he interjects himself, raising his hands in surrender, “Don’t get me wrong! I’m happy if you’re happy. It’s just, you never bring her around, so…”
Sunghoon brushes a hand through his hair, avoiding Jay’s gaze. It’s not like he doesn’t want to bring his girlfriend around. Rather, she’s the one who doesn’t want to come.
“Don’t you think they’re kind of… immature?” She had asked carefully, the very night after meeting them for the first time. He recalls his heart sinking with disappointment. The relationship had still been fresh, and like anyone else at the beginning of something new, he was eager to please. No one wants to hear that their girlfriend disapproves of their closest friends. Though perhaps the worst part of it was that he couldn’t even blame her for it. Jake and Heeseung had decided to make the world’s most abysmal first impression, after all. He cringes at the memory of them trying to prove who could burp the loudest in the middle of dinner, shamelessly and completely unprovoked. As a result, she chooses to avoid any gatherings that involve his friends entirely, though she’d never admit it upfront.
“She’s busy, that’s all,” Sunghoon brushes it aside, “but I am happy. Things with her are easy.”
“Don’t make me throw up,” Heeseung fake gags, swiping away from the post to some meme below it. “Keep your happy, healthy, long-term relationship to yourself.”
“Maybe you should try it sometime,” Sunghoon deadpans, eyes narrowing at his phone screen when he sees his friend stop at some Instagram model’s post, zooming in on her ass. “You know. Instead of doing whatever this is.”
“Nah,” Heeseung chuckles, still biting his lip as he opens the girl’s DMs, typing out god knows what. “Gotta play the field while I’m young. Make good memories before getting tied down.”
“Good memories? Like that time your ex’s ex-gang-member-ex-boyfriend threatened to beat your ass?” Jay taunts, “No, wait. It must be the time the police showed up to arrest that drug dealer chick you were sleeping with. Then searched our entire fucking apartment.”
“You gotta experience the lows in life to experience the highs. And both were good fucks, so at least I got something out of it.”
“Probably got chlamydia out of it, too,” Jay mutters, prompting Heeseung to finally look up from his device, flashing him a glare.
“Never heard of quality over quantity?” Sunghoon finally says, “Maybe if you didn’t sleep with the first bitch that gave you attention, you’d realize it isn't all that worth it.”
“Quality, huh?” Heeseung purrs, and Sunghoon feels his arm snake its way around his shoulders, leaning in with a low voice, “So she keeps you that satisfied?”
"She does." A light flush rises to Sunghoon’s cheeks. His voice drops to a mumble, “Not that it’s any of your business.”
It’s not entirely a lie. He is satisfied… in the ways that mattered. His girlfriend is stable. Mature. Kind. Responsible. The kind of girl you’d take home to your mother, who sits with her legs crossed, back straight, whose shirts are always ironed, whose hair is always neatly tied back from her face. The kind of girl who always shows up on time— who never says anything wrong. A girl who is friends with the right kind of people, who is respectable. The kind of girl you’d expect to be dating Sunghoon, who is equally as respectable and high-esteemed in his own right. And yet, he couldn’t help the gnawing feeling inside, the one that kept reminding him of how he is so deeply bored. Everything with her is so predictable. Every conversation is like an interview. Every touch, devoid of a spark. Every social media post is an unspoken obligation to keep up appearances. And the sex? It’s just… fine. And while an evening alone with his right-hand and laptop was enough to keep his desires bay, it was never enough to satiate them.
It’s not as if he’s unhappy. But satisfied? Does anyone truly feel satisfied, anyway? His friends certainly aren’t— Jake, who can’t land a girl to save his life. Jay, who can’t keep a girl to save his life. And Heeseung? He shudders at the recollection of Heeseung’s ex-situationship breaking into their place and stealing their PS5, along with the myriad of other shit his long list of past partners have done to wreak havoc on him and his roommates.
He’d take boring over that any day.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just jealous. Everyone wants something real. You’re one of the lucky ones who found it,” Jay’s hand lands on Sunghoon’s shoulder.
“I don’t know about that,” Heeseung’s eyes shift across the room, landing on you, and he nods in your direction, “I’d feel pretty damn unlucky if I were taken, and laid my eyes on her.”
With the slow turn of his head, Sunghoon’s breath catches, eyes travelling the length of your silhouette. You lean against the kitchen counter as Jake hands you a red solo cup, a perfectly manicured fingernail tapping nervously against the plastic. Your other hand tugs at the length of your white-blue floral dress just a bit and shoots up to adjust your white cardigan. He can’t help the way his eyes fixate on your exposed shoulder, where the cardigan seems to keep slipping down. You, doe-eyed and doll-like, stick out like a sore thumb in the sea of male STEM majors that litter the house party. You laugh at something Jake says, noting how he smiles widely. Jake would’ve bragged about someone like you if he could. Which means you’re not his.
“Oh? What’s that, lover boy?” Heeseung teases, “Think you might have a little bit of drool riiight there—”
Sunghoon tears his gaze away from you to shove his roommate’s hand away, ignoring his rather punchable-looking grin.
“Talk to me when your hinge matches stop ghosting you.”
“And his tinder matches. And bumble. And…”
Heeseung and Jay’s bickering falls deaf on Sunghoon’s ears as his eyes drift back in your direction. A pang of guilt hits him when you and Jake turn to look right at him in return. Jake gestures to him, and all too willingly, Sunghoon wades through the party until he’s standing right next to you, taking in the sight of you up close. He tries not to inhale too deeply as your scent, warm and sweet, engulfs him, invading his senses. And rather unfortunately, your voice is even sweeter, his brain short-circuiting as you introduce yourself with an outstretched hand. He stiffens, eyeing your hand with caution before shaking it. He tries not to think too hard about how soft it feels in his own, a flush rushing to his cheeks.
“This is Sunghoon. Also in computer science,” Jake exclaims, throwing an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder. He’s not drunk yet, but the slight sway in his movements indicates that he’s getting there. “And don’t worry. He’s got a girl, so he won’t try hitting on you or anything.”
Sunghoon carefully chooses not to dwell on why the mention of his girlfriend makes him uneasy.
“You’re in computer science?”
He cringes at the way the words leave his own mouth. He’s only shocked because at least 80% of his lectures are filled with greasy, antisocial guys who moderate Discord servers in their free time. Not girls who look like you.
“Well, I used to be in mechanical engineering. That’s how we met,” you gesture to Jake, “Unfortunately.”
“What the hell?” Jake gapes, “I invite you into my home, and this is how I’m treated?”
“I totally carried you through that group project in our first semester. Remember?” You shook your head, “I did basically all the work. You’re lucky I even wrote your name on the final document.”
“…which I apologized for! Verbally and financially.”
“Wait. First year, first semester?” Sunghoon pauses, “Wasn’t that when you got addicted to ranked league?”
“Dude, I was so close to reaching platinum.”
“Seriously?” You gasp, “Jake, you nearly cost our grade to reach platinum in League of fucking Legends? I should’ve extorted you for way more free Uber Eats orders.”
“What am I, a walking wallet to you?”
“Yeah. Basically.”
“Ouch.”
Against his will, Sunghoon feels himself start to smile, his eyes fixated on the way you laugh, rocking back and forth on your heels ever so slightly. It wasn’t just because of how effortlessly gorgeous you were, either. Whatever energy you had brought in with you that night, it was contagious, a warmth blooming in his chest and spreading through him head to toe like a disease. He hasn’t felt anything like it in a while.
“And here I was, trying to help you find friends in your program who aren’t creeps,” Jake clutches his heart dramatically, “Should’ve just thrown you to the wolves.”
Ah. So that was what it was.
Sunghoon had heard the horror stories from his other female classmates over the years— all the project partners who turned out to be creeps, all the guys who sit just a little bit too close to them in their lectures and shamelessly stare, or the worst of all? The guys who pretend to be their friends just to get in their pants.
For a girl like you, he could see it clearly. It was one thing to be pretty. To be pretty and meek-natured? It’s a socially-awkward, creepy nerd’s wet dream.
“You know, I think I’ve seen you before. Well, the back of your head, at least,” you tilt your head towards Sunghoon, though he notices your eyes struggle to stay on his, always being the first to break eye contact. Your hand toys with the dainty necklace at your collarbone, absentmindedly. “Data Structures and Algorithms. Section C. I sit a few rows behind you.”
“Didn’t know I was being watched.”
“You’re hard to miss,” he raises his brow as you continue, “You come in early, sit right at the front and centre of the class, you open up that giant laptop with the bright RGB lights. Like, literally, I cannot focus on anything else, it’s so distracting.”
“You bring your gaming laptop to your lectures?” Jake deadpans, “and I thought I was the nerdiest one in the friend group.”
“First of all, you are. Second, those are the only kinds of laptops that meet the system requirements for the lab assignments, so—”
“Relax, I have the same one. I just turn off the RGBs,” you smile, your hand brushing his shoulder just a little bit. He flinches instinctively, and you notice, drawing back your hand in embarrassment. Selfishly, he wishes you didn’t, but he shoves that thought deep down, praying it never finds its way back to the surface. You look down at your cup, pitifully, the sight of you evoking an overwhelming ache in his fast-beating heart.
“We should sit together next time,” he clears his throat, offering a tender smile. He readjusts himself as he leans too close. “If you want.”
“For sure!” You beam. “Socials?”
You offer your phone, and he types his username into the Instagram search bar, swallowing dryly at the profile picture of him and his girlfriend. Pushing the ugly feeling to the back of his mind, he hands the phone back to you.
“Aw, two years,” you say, eyes immediately landing on the anniversary post. He shifts his weight where he stands. “Cute.”
Sunghoon scrunches his nose as he pours some awful-looking concoction down the drain, throwing the now-empty cup into the nearest trash bag. Everyone had long since left, and yet here the roommates were, still cleaning up the messes left behind in a tired, empty silence. Well, save for the lovely symphony of Jake’s coughing and hacking as he spills his guts out in the bathroom.
“You good?” Heeseung calls to him through the door, giving it a few knocks, “'cause I kinda need to piss really bad.”
There’s a silent pause and a sniffle before the door swings open, Jake wobbling out. His hair hangs over his eyes.
“Woah, woah, Jakey, take it easy,” he catches his friend, and Jake whines, trying to shove him away.
“I’m okay. Don’t touch.”
“Sure you are.”
Heeseung helps him over to the couch, sinking into the cushions uselessly, staring at the ceiling. Jay stands a few feet away, shaking his head at the sight.
“Such a lightweight, holy shit.”
“Am not…”
Sunghoon sighs, grabbing a glass from the overhead cupboard. And soon, with a full glass of water, he joins the three in the living room, setting it down on the coffee table.
“Drink. Unless you want the worst hangover of your life tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, mom,” he scoffs, picking it up and gulping it down. Sunghoon quickly moves to help him lift the glass to his lips, his friend holding it with the fine-motor skills of an infant.
“Grown man, by the way,” Heeseung mutters, Jay and Sunghoon holding back their snickering. Jake glares at him. “Guess I shouldn’t make fun of you too much, though. Since you did bring that pretty little thing into our apartment.”
When all the water is successfully gulped down, Sunghoon moves to place it back on the nearest surface. Jake takes in a deep breath, then he blinks once. Twice.
“Sorry, what?”
“Uh, earth to Jake?” He waves a hand in front of his face, “I’m asking about her. You know who I mean.”
“Ohhhhh, right,” he draws out his words, a smile creeping up on his face. He bites his lip and nods his head, as if he’s replaying the memory of you in his mind, “Yeah, she’s pretty cool.”
“Cool?” Heeseung’s eyes go wide. In seconds, his hands are at Jake’s shoulders, shaking sense into him, “Jake. My guy. That’s the hottest woman that’s ever willingly spoken to you.”
“Dude, stop, he’s gonna throw up everywhere,” Jay tears Heeseung’s grasp from Jake, whose head slumps back the instant he’s let go. His hand moves to push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah, yeah, but she clearly has noooo interest in me, so I don’t even bother,” he waves his hand dismissively, “We’re just friends.”
“Just friends,” Jay echoes in air quotes, snorting to himself.
“There’s no such thing as being just friends with a girl who looks like that,” Heeseung adds.
“No, really,” Jake replies, sounding maybe a fraction more conscious, though his words still drag, “Like, yeah, obviously I’d fuck her if she asked. But like, once the butterflies fade and you get used to her hotness, you start to realize she’s just like… normal. You know?”
“So she’s a friend that you would fuck.” He says flatly, “That’s not called being friends. That’s called being friend-zoned.”
“This is Jake we’re talking about. He’ll fuck anything with a pulse if it gave him a chance,” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “For everyone else, it’s normal to be friends with girls, even if you find them attractive. Your brain’s just rotted from all the porn you jerk off to.”
“You’re such a fake, you know that?” Heeseung retorts, taking a moment to scoff at him, “Acting like you weren’t eye-fucking her all night. Sounds like someone’s coping.”
“Sounds like you only know how to think with your dick,” Sunghoon hisses, his blood pressure rising.
Heeseung pauses, taking him in, and how worked up he is over his off-handed comments. He can practically see the steam coming out of Sunghoon’s ears.
“Alright, Mr. Good guy,” he chuckles, “Whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
Sunghoon takes a breath before leaving, making his way back to the kitchen.
“Have fun tucking Jake into bed or some shit. I’m not dealing with this.”
“Oh, you know I will.”
“Hey, don’t leave me alone with him!” Jake’s voice cracks watching Sunghoon walk off. He watches in horror as Jay walks away, too, continuing his garbage pickup. Heeseung tries to lift him up, and he yelps, sliding off the couch as he crawls away helplessly, leaving the elder boy to laugh his ass off on the couch, alone.
Three times a week.
Sunghoon sees you three times a week, twice for lectures, once for labs. And in only the first week of sitting next to you, he already has every little habit of yours mentally noted down. He swears he isn’t doing it on purpose— it’s not like he’s trying to keep tabs on you. It’s just that every little thing about you is so hard to miss.
Almost subconsciously, his eyes seem to wander from the board to you, noticing how you rest your chin in your hand, how you get antsy towards the end of class from sitting in one place for too long, how your elbow seems to drift in his direction as you write in your small notebook, occasionally brushing his arm on accident. He notices and appreciates how, in a room of sweatpants and hoodies, you always wore your pretty skirts and soft cardigans, with ribbons in your hair, and dainty necklaces adorning your collarbone. Everything about you is new, uncharted territory, and the desire to learn more is unrelenting, as well as deeply unacceptable according to his own moral code of conduct.
Of course, it doesn’t come without guilt; There’s the guilt for being so curious about a girl who isn’t his own, and then there’s the guilt he feels, given that he’s supposed to be your guy-friend, not another lustful loser trying to bother you. Though his shame, while constant, is nothing more than a low hum, not quite loud enough to call attention to… yet.
It’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, after all. Thoughts and desires aren’t actions. They’re just a normal, human reaction, and you don’t exactly make it easy for him, either. Really, what else is he supposed to do when you’re laughing just a little too hard at his terrible jokes? When he swears, he sees your eyes linger just a little too long on his body as he leans back to stretch, mid-lecture? And how you always seem to lose your train of thought as he leans in just a little closer, stumbling over your words? He could just be imagining it, but it makes him wonder.
So, maybe he starts telling more jokes, just to hear a little more of your laughter. And maybe he starts wearing shirts that are a little bit tighter, just to see if you’d rake your eyes across his body like he suspects you’d do (and as it turns out, you do). And maybe he enjoys invading your personal space just a little bit, if only to feel that certain rush he hasn’t felt in ages. If only to quell his stubborn curiosity, to enjoy the small moments of your attention, and to bask in the wonders it does for his ego.
There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s nothing wrong with making these long, tedious lectures just a little more interesting. Anyone would do the same in his shoes. If not, worse. What he’s doing is completely harmless. After all, he knows himself. He knows he would never cross that line.
Yet, when he walks early into class that day, as his gaze shifts to his usual spot, he notices some other guy who had taken his place, who is leaning way too close to you than you appear to be comfortable with. And, from the way his jaw clenches and his fists curl at his sides, Sunghoon feels it is too close for his comfort, as well.
“See, your code is technically correct, but it’s not optimal,” his voice is grating to Sunghoon’s ears, watching him point to your laptop screen, “it’s fine to use multiple recursion for this example, but if your algorithm were to use much higher values, the runtime would skyrocket.”
“Thanks, but—”
“I could tutor you, if you want,” he hasn’t listened to a word you’re trying to say, eyes dragging down the length of you, shamelessly. You scoot further away until you’re practically on the edge of your seat. "You could pay me with cash. But I also accept other kinds of favours—"
“Hey,” Sunghoon’s voice is low, teetering on the edge of his self-control as he slams your laptop shut onto the guy’s hand. He keeps his palm there, applying just enough pressure to make sure the pain lasts. He leans over him, his tall frame casting a dark shadow over the irrelevant, pathetic loser. “Nobody asked.”
As soon as Sunghoon lets go, the guy cusses him out, scrambling from his seat immediately. Then, turning to you, he watches you breathe a sigh of relief. Sinking into the seat next to you, he can’t help but glare at the asshole across the room. Who does he think he is? All your other admirers had been silently resigned to watching you from afar, as they saw how you clung to Sunghoon’s side. Especially the first week you had been sitting together, he’d gotten a good few laughs out of feeling their jealous glares, shooting daggers at the back of his head. But this guy? Is he stupid? Has he failed to notice that you’re always with him?
Suddenly, the thought of all the other men who must be looking at you in your other classes crosses his mind. Do you sit alone in those lectures? Or, do you have other “guy friends” who get to talk to you like this? Sunghoon pauses before he can get ahead of himself, taking several mental steps back, because why the fuck does he feel like crawling out of his own skin? Why is this uneasy feeling so aching, so all-consuming?
“Are you okay?”
“You’re asking me?” He allows his expression to soften, if only for your sake, but his tone does not, venom dripping from every seething word, “Guys like him just piss me off. That’s all.”
The professor starts the class moments soon after, and Sunghoon lets his gaze drift forward, in search of anything to ease the whirlwind of emotions that rumbled beneath the surface of him, barely contained. Distracted, he doesn’t process that you’re leaning towards him, only snapping out of his trance the second he feels the warmth of your breath tickling his ear.
“Then I’m lucky to have a good guy like you around to look out for me.” You whisper, a shiver running up his spine. He swallows, and when he looks at you, taking in your wide-eyed gaze and how you look up at him through your lashes with pure, unfiltered, undeserved gratitude, he knows he's done for. “Thank you, Sunghoon.”
Maybe it’s the way you whispered his name in his ear. Or maybe it’s the way you looked so fucking appreciative when you really didn’t need to be. But whatever had been clouding his mind only seconds ago clears in an instant, replaced with that newly familiar rush that only you seem to awaken in him.
It’s ridiculously unfair how easily you could have him crumbling, falling apart at the seams, only to rebuild him seconds later. It’s ridiculously addictive how good it feels to have your full attention on him, as if he hadn’t been stewing in his own shameful, confusing misery only moments prior. Whatever it is you’re doing to him? It’s exhilarating. It’s dangerous. It’s wrong.
And yet…
He’s hard. Embarrassingly hard, as if he’s a fucking teenager again. He carefully crosses his legs, thanking his past self for choosing to wear jeans instead of sweatpants, and though he’s able to calm himself down in time to leave class undetected, it all comes back to him the moment he’s kicking off his shoes at his front door.
It takes everything in him not to jerk himself to the thought of you. Instead, opting for a cold shower, as if soap could scrub away the absolute filth that is his thoughts. Bracing himself against the tiled walls of the bathroom, under running water, he closes his eyes and thinks of his girlfriend— his kind, unsuspecting girlfriend. He’s supposed to be a good boyfriend. The kind of man a girl can brag about to their friends, who they can take home to their mother without shame. But these days, he feels anything but good.
Though the guilt passes too quickly, morphing into something else entirely when he recalls the events from earlier. You, talking to some other guy. You, whispering in his ear. You, looking so tempting, so forbidden, so infuriating. And just like that, you’re doing it to him again; making him writhe in an agony he didn’t know he could feel, torturing him without even needing to be in the same vicinity. You make him lose his grip. It only makes him want to reach for you even more.
To ♡ : I’m taking you out tomorrow
To ♡ : Wear something nice
Stability. Predictability. Assurance.
That’s what Sunghoon decides he needs. He hasn’t had a restful night in ages, between the stress of keeping up with school and the mind fuckery, that is, you. So he booked the nicest restaurant he could afford on his broke college student budget, brushed off the nice suit that collected dust in Jake’s closet (courtesy of his stupidly rich parents, who would probably collapse if they found out that their son lounges in dirty sweatpants all day), and picks up his girlfriend who greets him with that same old chaste kiss to his cheek.
He does everything right. He holds every door open for her. He asks about her week. He smiles, unwavering, even as she tells the same stories he’s heard over and over again, and he profusely apologizes when his phone starts blowing up with notifications mid-meal, trying not to let his determination shake when he notices your Instagram handle in the notification window. It must be that time of day, he thinks, when the sun goes down, and you curl up for your usual evening scrolling session. He turns it on silent, tucking it away into his pocket.
“Busy these days?” She asks.
“This semester is… frustrating. I’d rather not think about it,” he sighs. Then, he reaches across the table, taking her hands into his, “It doesn’t matter. Keep talking. I want to hear you.”
She giggles, fingers interlocking with his, “What did I do to deserve you?”
He tries. He tries so hard to care about whatever it is she’s talking about, but he doesn’t. He can’t. Because truthfully, he doesn’t feel anything.
He drives her home later, and though she kisses him and drags her hand down his chest with the hint of offering something more, he pulls away. He gives some excuse, talking of an early morning tomorrow, and kisses her one last goodbye with the same politeness and appropriateness she’d greeted him with.
Selfishly, his mind drifts to you as he drives home, wondering how you would’ve acted had he taken you on the same kind of date. You probably would’ve thanked him profusely, eyes shining with delight when he tells you that you can order anything you like— always so easily impressed by any small act of kindness. You’d probably get flustered when he kisses you at the end of the night, but kiss him back with fervour, so eager to show him your appreciation that you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself. You’d probably drop to your knees, wouldn’t you? You seem like the type. He pulls into his parking spot, snapping back to reality.
He groans, a hand moving to his face.
What the fuck.
It’s surprisingly loud when he walks through the front door, his roommates' laughter wafting down the halls. But he’s even more surprised to hear the sound of a certain familiar laugh, one that is unmistakably yours. And for a moment, he thinks he’s hallucinating, taking slow steps down the hall as he loosens the tie at his neck. But when he rounds the corner, he sees you there, sitting on his living room couch with a Nintendo Switch controller in hand.
“Why the fuck do we always pick the map with Rainbow Road?” Heeseung groans, his character falling off the map for what Sunghoon can only assume is the umpteenth time.
“Just get good,” Jake proudly raises his beer to yours, the two of you taking a celebratory sip as you both sit comfortably in first and second place. The creak of the floorboards behind him makes his head turn. “Hey, there he is! Thought you were— what the fuck, is that my suit?”
“Stole it from your closet earlier,” he states plainly, ignoring Jake’s annoyed expression. Sunghoon glances uncomfortably at where you sit, sandwiched between Jake and Heeseung on the couch. “What is this?”
“Mario Kart,” you shrug, “Was kinda bored and Jake said they could use a fourth player since you were out. But hey, now that you’re here, you should join!”
Right. You were Jake’s friend first. He has a habit of forgetting that, given how much time he spends with you alone. He glares down the way Jake’s arm is casually slung over the back of the couch, where you sit, just behind your head. And then there was Heeseung, who manspreads so wide that his entire leg is pressed against yours. He inhales sharply, suddenly hit with the overwhelming urge to grab you by the arm and drag you far, far away from his friends.
“Weren’t you on a date?” Jay asks, narrowing his eyes, “thought you’d be out all night.”
“Shit. Did all that just to get blue-balled, huh?” Heeseung snickers, looking him up and down. But his grin grows even wider when he notices the look on his roommate's face, and how his fists clench at his side, gaze unrelenting. And, more interestingly, how Sunghoon can’t tear his eyes from you. “Oh. I get it.”
A silence falls upon them, save for the end-of-match music from the game playing on loop in the background.
“…get what??” You ask so cluelessly, glancing between them. You nudge Jake, and he stammers, clearing his throat.
“Uh. It’s uh…”
“It’s guy stuff, baby, you wouldn’t understand,” Heeseung leans in just a little too close as he says it, looking to Sunghoon to make sure he’s watching. He brings his hand to your chin, raising it slightly with his fingertips. “Wouldn’t wanna worry your pretty little head with any of that, hm?”
Sunghoon goes cold seeing how your breath hitches, nodding your head like an obedient little dog. He hates the way his pulse quickens, heart thumping loudly in his ears. He hates, hates, hates this feeling so fucking much. He hates how it makes him want you more. He moves to the couch, shoving Jake out of the way, so that he can sit next to you instead.
“There’s nothing to get. Don’t listen to him.” He flashes you a smile, but the warmth of your side pressing into him is only a fleeting comfort. He turns to Jake, eyes landing on his remote before snatching it, “Give me this. And go get me a beer.”
“Are you deadass?” Jake blinks at him.
“I’m almost done mine, I could go—” you start.
“I’ll get it for you,” Jake rises to his feet in an instant, flashing you a ‘look how useful and helpful I am’ smile. He side eyes Sunghoon. “And you, I guess.”
He steps away, and the four of you shift in awkward silence as Sunghoon and Heeseung stare each other down.
“So, uh,” Jay clears his throat, turning to you with a gentle smile, tired of watching the unspoken dick comparison contest between his two roommates. “You said you guys take a class together, right?”
“Yeah. And thank god we do, 'cause I would be totally lost if we didn’t,” you laugh nervously, looking to Sunghoon almost adoringly, “he’s a way better student than I am.”
Your hand brushes his shoulder, and he melts.
“She’s just saying that.”
Without a second thought, he nudges you in return, every shy touch he shares with you feeling like the most monumental moment of his life. Like he couldn’t possibly get any higher. He wishes he could bottle the feeling up, keep it in his pocket forever. But like always, it is ripped from him in an instant, as his roommate reopens his loud, obnoxious mouth.
“Nah. You’ve always been a real good student,” Heeseung leans back, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, “Always listening. Always doing your work on time. Always following the rules.”
Sunghoon frowns.
“You must’ve been a real goody two-shoes in high school, huh?” You tease him, a smirk tugging at your lips.
“Oh yeah,” Heeseung continues, “I remember, we always had these stupid weekly quizzes in our History class. And even though the teacher would practically be asleep, he would always cover his answers so that I couldn’t cheat off him. I always thought it was cruel, ya know? Considering we were friends and all.”
“I don’t like to share,” Sunghoon snaps, “especially not with someone who didn’t put in the work.”
Heeseung ignores his retort.
“But you know what the funny thing is? You would cheat off of Jake in Physics.” He laughs, dryly, and Sunghoon most certainly does not find anything about his tone humorous as he sits there, biting his tongue. When he’s had his final laugh, he sighs, turning to him in a low voice, “You know what that makes you, right? A hypocrite.”
Neither of them moves. Jay definitely doesn’t dare to move, tired of playing mediator. And you just sit there. Jake’s return cuts through the tension like a knife.
“You guys not gonna play another game?” He asks, throwing a beer can carelessly in Sunghoon’s lap while placing the other gently in front of you on the coffee table.
“We definitely should,” Jay’s shoulders slump with relief.
Time ticks by, and one beer turns into two, three, six… until eventually, Sunghoon is barely able to hold the remote in his hand, and the room is spinning. But no matter how many drinks he took down, that ugly, despicably possessive feeling wouldn’t leave.
You’re not his. You don’t belong to him. But seeing Heeseung nudge your shoulder, touch your arm, look you up and down like you’re his next meal, then look back at him with a wolfish grin made him want to tear him apart limb from limb. He’s the embodiment of everything he despises; a careless, lazy, college dropout and unemployed asshole with zero shame. He’s disgusting, inside and out, and embraces his filthiness instead of hiding it like everyone else does— like everyone else is supposed to do. He doesn’t deserve to be rewarded. He doesn’t deserve a prize like you when he’s done nothing to earn it.
And then there’s you. With each drink you finish, you return Heeseung’s touch, brushing his shoulder when you laugh. Hell, even placing a hand on his knee, making his stupid grin grow even wider. And Sunghoon just has to sit there and take it, pretending like it’s fine. Because it should be fine. It’s not his business, and if your standards are that low, then so be it.
But when you beat Heeseung yet again, and he’s stealing your remote, holding it above his head,Sunghoon watches in horror as you squeal, reaching up for it, and climbing to your knees. You decide to straddle Heeseung in his lap as you reach further, using a hand at his shoulder to steady yourself, and it makes him sick.
Sunghoon’s head is spinning, and his stomach… his stomach aches. He can barely breathe or form any kind of thought that isn’t murderous. He stands up, stumbling only a little bit, because if he watches whatever the hell the two of you are doing for any longer, he’s not sure he can restrain himself from strangling his roommate any longer.
“You good?” Jake asks, watching his remote control fall to the ground. It hits the carpet with a soft thud.
Sunghoon locks eyes with the bathroom and bolts for it.
The world spins around him as he dry-heaves into the toilet, knees on the bathroom floor. He’d spilled his guts already, but is far too exhausted to will himself to stand. He barely even registers that the bathroom door clicks behind him, eyes shifting upward to find you above him. The overhead light frames you in a golden glow, like a halo around your gentle silhouette, and for a second, he wonders if he’s dreaming when your hand reaches to push his hair from his forehead.
“Jeez, Hoon, you’re burning up.” Your words are slightly slurred, eyes a little unfocused, like his own. Everyone has had too much to drink tonight.
Your lips are still moving, but he’s too distracted by them to process what you’re even saying. Then, you’re lifting a glass of water to his mouth, and he drinks it loudly, unceremoniously, your finger tips lifting the tip of his chin. He, rather ungracefully, moans as it washes away the traces of acidic aftertaste in his mouth, soothing the throbbing in his head. Soon enough, the image of you is clearer. He mourns the loss of your touch as you set the cup aside, and he brings his wrist to wipe his chin with his sleeve.
“Don’t fuck Heeseung,” his words slip out in a deeply drunken, deeply desperate voice. He doesn’t care how pathetic he looks, eyes half lidded, face flushed, kneeling before you like you’re the altar he worships. Though he doesn’t pray. He selfishly demands, even if his tone resembles something of a plea. “He’s a fuckin’ asshole. He’ll treat you like shit. I’m telling you he’s…”
A sharp, throbbing pain shoots through his head, and his words trail off. Face falling forward, his forehead lands flat against your thigh, unable to support his own weight. He’s exhausted, mentally and physically, panting, and his hands reach to dig into your skirt for support. Though the fog is starting to clear up now that he’s evicted most of the alcohol from his system, he thinks— no, he knows he’s drunk on something else. Your closeness is a drug. Your touch intoxicates him.
He hears you laugh. God, how he loves that laugh.
“You’re telling me what to do?”
“Yeah,” he swallows, “so don’t do it.”
“Why?”
“'Cause I said so.”
“Hm, and why should I listen to you?” Your fingers are threading through his hair, and a careless, guttural groan is escaping him as you tug his head back to meet your gaze.
“'Cause you’re mine.”
Your eyes go wide, conflicted, but you don’t push away. Your hand still runs through his hair in a gentle, soothing manner. You try to laugh it off nervously.
“We’re just friends, Hoon. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Friends,” he scoffs, “How could I ever be friends with you?”
His eyes flicker from yours, then to your bare thighs, just millimetres away from his face. He’s so close, the warmth of his breath is tickling your exposed skin, and whatever remaining shred of morality he thought he could cling to is thrown out the window as he leans forward. He brings his hands to caress the back of them and presses a few kisses into your soft skin, a prideful feeling spreading through him when you let out a breathless whimper. He looks up your skirt and notices the wet patch on your white, lace panties. He smiles at that, adoring how your fingers curl into his hair a little more harshly.
“Don’t fight it. Know you want it too.”
“Sunghoon, this is wrong.”
He ignores you, his tongue darting out to suck at the skin of your inner thighs, fully intending to leave his mark.
“Love the way you say my name, baby,” His breath hovers above your clothed clit, his nose nuzzling just above the waistband of your underwear. “Say it again for me.”
He tastes you through your underwear, hands at your hips, gripping into your skin as you whimper. He can practically feel you twitching on his tongue, though he’s barely started, tasting your arousal, which has long since soaked through your underwear. You taste like heaven, and it’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to it, now that he’s certainly going to hell.
“Hoon…”
“Gonna have to be a little louder than that if you want me to give you what you want, pretty.”
He tugs the useless piece of fabric down enough to allow him to lick a stripe up your clothed cunt and you cry out, already twitching with need.
“Fuck, Sunghoon—!”
“That’s it. Don’t hold back,” he growls, “Let them know how badly you need me.”
He kisses your soaked cunt before sucking hard, grinning at the sound of his name on your lips like a broken record. He fucking hopes Heeseung can hear his name coming out of your breathy, pleading voice— hopes he learns not to play with other people’s toys. He hopes Jake feels pathetic knowing you chose the one guy in the friend group who already has a girl, instead of him, who's been begging for a crumb of pussy from you since your first year. There’s nothing to feel guilty for anymore. Not when your legs are shaking like this for him as he laps you up and sucks on your clit, your essence dripping down his chin.
His dick twitches in his pants when you tug at his hair even harder, your cries sinful as you finish embarrassingly fast on his tongue. He drinks up every drop, even as you try to push his face away, loving how you writhe uselessly in his half-drunken grasp. He finally pulls away, bright-eyed as he watches you catch your breath. He muses at your expression; half ashamed, half lustful.
“Don’t tell me you feel guilty, now,” he rises to his feet, caging you in against the sink. He doesn’t kiss you yet, preferring to drink in the sight of you first, now that he finally has you. “You wanted this. Gave me all this attention all semester. I’m not stupid.”
His knee slips between your legs, and he presses into you until your soaked, throbbing cunt is pressed right against his thigh. You whimper, your hands fiddling with the end of his tie as you rock against him.
“Opening your legs so easily. If you really thought this was wrong, you’d push me away,” he whispers in your ear, before dragging his lips down to your neck, “You’re just an easy little slut.”
“I’m not a—”
“Baby, you’re dripping,” he chuckles, looking down at the wet patch on his pants. He hikes your skirt higher on your hips to get a better view, “Probably dreamed of me fucking you stupid, as my little side piece.”
His eyes move down to your chest, heaving in that tight little tank top you wore. He palms your breast through the fabric, kneading the flesh before slipping under to pinch your hardened nipples. But his gaze darkens when he pushes the fabric down, revealing the white, lacy bra beneath it.
“What’s this?” His hand gropes your chest through your bra, his thumb swiping over your hardened nipples through the material. “Were you planning on getting fucked tonight?”
You don’t get the chance to answer because he’s flipping you around, bent over the sink as he drags your matching panties down, tossing them over his shoulder carelessly. He slides two fingers inside you, holding your wrists down against your back, and you gasp as he fills you deep, pace unforgiving, not bothering to even pretend to be gentle. The way you tense around him, choking on your own gasps in shock, only feeds his depraved desires even more.
“By who? Heeseung?” He seethes, then pauses for a second, laughing, “Or were you gonna let Jake hit it for once? Fucking slut.”
“For you,” you manage to choke out, “Not that I thought we would, but… just…”
The words leave your mouth pathetically, and you can feel your face burn with embarrassment. You had done your best to keep your crush on him at bay. But, there was always a small part of you that couldn’t help but wonder. You rationalized it by saying it was something every girl did— it’s like shaving your whole body before seeing an attractive artist’s concert, imagining what it would be like to get noticed in the crowd. Or wearing your prettiest outfit for that one class with the hot married professor. You didn’t wear a matching set because you thought this would actually happen; you did it to entertain your twisted little fantasy of getting with your off-limits campus crush.
Your confession makes him pause entirely, his fingers leaving you hollow.
“For me?” His voice is slow, smooth, “You wanted to look all pretty for me?”
You nod, timidly.
You wanted to act like you felt bad. Wanted to pretend like it was wrong. And yet, he caught you red-handed. Some part of you, deep down, wanted this to happen. You can’t run from the truth now. And when he turns you to face him, you’re not sure what you expect, but you definitely weren’t expecting to be kissed slowly, tenderly, and yet at the same time, so cruelly.
“You wanna be mine?” He mutters against your lips.
“Please,” you breathe out. He hums approvingly.
His hunger only grows from the taste of you. He slips your breasts from their pretty lace confines and latches his mouth on them, licking and sucking them, using his teeth, and continues upward. He kisses up your collarbone and your neck, mercilessly, until you’re littered with marks. And when he’s satisfied, he pulls back, admiring his work, thumb sliding across your skin in gentle circles.
“If you wanna be my pretty little slut,” you feel his hands snake behind you, and his tie wrap around your wrists, “then you’re gonna have to start acting like one.”
He shoves you to your knees, and you stumble a little, struggling to regain your balance, given your hands were tied. Your knees burn where you’re certain you’ll have nasty bruises tomorrow, and you watch as he lifts your chin, “Well?”
Your eyes land on the bulge in his pants. Obediently, you nuzzle your nose at his clothes crotch, looking up at him in a lustful haze. He’s painfully hard, throbbing with need, and he tries not to show how the sight of you like this is making him crumble.
“Please, Hoon. Wanna taste you.”
He undoes his belt and lets his pants fall to the floor, cooing as you immediately move to mouth him through boxers, desperate to please him like the whore you pretend you aren’t. It’s amusing, really, and while he adores the sight of you drooling on him, soaking the fabric of his underwear, he’d much rather feel your mouth on him without anything in the way.
He pulls them down and laughs, watching it slap your cheek, standing tall, thick, and in desperate need of being touched. Your fascinated expression and the way you lick your lips tells him you’ve never taken someone of his size, and he loves that. He guides the tip to your lips, and your tongue reaches out, tasting his precum on your tongue, spreading it around as you then take the tip of him.
“Shit,” he groans, “You drive me fucking insane. You know that? Haven’t had a moment of peace since I met you.”
But it’s worth it, he thinks, as he slides past your lips, hands in your hair, pushing you down his length. And though he can’t wait to fuck your face, he can’t help but take his time first, sinking into your mouth, admiring just how good you look being fed his cock.
“It’s like you were made for this,” a smile toys at his lips, thinking of all the times he’d woken up with sticky sheets from a dream just like this. “You like being on your knees for me?”
He glances down at how you rub your thighs together, and how your wrists struggle against its restraints with desire to touch yourself. His girl hated doing this for him. But you? You’re moaning as he hits the back of your throat, taking it like a champion. He could cum from the sight alone if he weren’t trying to savour every second of your mouth around him.
He sinks his fingers into your scalp, pulling himself out before fucking right back into your mouth again, your throat constricting around him as you choke on his thick cock. There are tears stinging your eyes, and your mascara and lip gloss are smudged, and yet you’ve never looked more beautiful to him than you do right now.
“Sorry, pretty, but I have to be a little rough on you. Gotta teach you a lesson, you know?” He’s panting now, his groans falling effortlessly from his lips, “That’s what happens when you rile me up. When you flirt with my friends just to get my attention.”
He reaches from your hair to cup your cheeks, a thumb swiping at a single tear that falls and he sighs. And then, he cracks a twisted smile.
“They’ll never get to see you like this. Now that you belong to me.”
He finally slows, sliding from your mouth and coos at your exasperated breaths, eyes locking on your marked chest as it heaves up and down. He presses his tip to your swollen lips again, but this time keeps his cock in his hand, fist sliding up and down to the mere sight of you.
“Gonna cum all over your pretty face.” You hum around him in approval, “You like that? So fucking messy.”
He cusses finally, pulling himself out of your mouth to paint you with his spend, shooting ropes over your face, your chest, watching it stain your little tank top, which still hung onto you uselessly, though your breasts were on full display. You blink a few times, mouth agape, because never in your life had you seen this much cum come out of anyone. He stares at you, a gorgeous, pathetic mess, in complete pride, admiring his work. How beautiful it was to have you on your knees for him, completely ruined and marked up, covered in his cum. He wished he had his phone to capture it.
“All mine now,” he reaches out, spreading the cum at your lips, gathering it on his fingers before slipping them into your mouth. You moan around his fingers.
He hoists you to the sink and throws your panties somewhere across the room, while he pushes up your skirt, revealing your wet, needy pussy. You’re practically weeping when he finally touches you because you’re aching for release. And, to your surprise, he kisses you, open-mouthed, desperately, tasting himself on your lips, not giving a single shit about how it gets on his face or in his hair. You feel his fingers prod you, entering your cunt with little resistance.
“Want you,” you manage to say, despite his unyielding, feverish kisses. “Want more.”
“That’s not how you ask,” he teases, his fingers reaching that spot inside you that makes your toes curl, “try again.”
“Please fuck me.”
All he does is laugh.
“You’re real sweet when you beg, but…” he adds a third finger, and your eyes flutter shut, “You’ll take what I give you.”
His other hand grips your neck as he fucks his fingers into you, relishing every cry that leaves your lips. And he takes his sweet damn time, waiting until you’re at the brink of finishing to pull his fingers out of you. And though you open your mouth to whine, you’re quickly shut up when you feel the head of his cock pressing against you, sliding along your needy cunt. Behind you, you can feel his hands undo the tie at your wrists, freeing them from their confines. And now that you could touch him, your hands move instantly, purring with delight at the feeling of his broad, muscular shoulders beneath them. His tip catches at your entrance.
“Don’t have a condom. You care?” he sputters out, as if he isn’t already sheathing the tip of himself inside you, cursing at the feel of your tight, wet walls.
“Just— don’t cum inside.”
“Wasn’t planning on it,” he growls. At least not yet. He’d fill you with his cum another day.
He pushes your skirt up further to watch himself enter you, lifting either leg to the side, and your fingernails sink into the white button-up that still hangs from his shoulders. And, at the realization, you decide to start unbuttoning it, practically salivating at the sight of his body.
“Fuck,” he hisses, your pussy wrapped around him so tightly, “Could do this every fucking day.”
He buries to the hilt, leaving you barely a second to adjust before he takes another deep thrust. He’s so deep inside you, you swear you can feel him in your guts, splitting you on his cock. And you love it. You love the way he stretches you, the way he takes and takes from you so unfairly.
“Bet you’d like that. Letting me use you whenever I want. Wouldn’t you?” He picks up the pace, and you can feel every inch of him inside you, every vein and curve making your head spin. He grasps your chin, forcing you to face him. “I asked you a question, pretty girl.”
Dazed, you nod fervently, your teeth sinking into your lower lip.
“Wanna be used by you. Just wanna be fucked like I’m yours.”
“Already said you’re all mine now, remember?” he groans when he feels you clench around him, looking down again just to watch your tight little hole be ruined by him, “My dirty little slut. All mine to ruin. This one time won’t be enough. I need to have you again, and again. Fuck—”
He shakes his head at himself, almost laughing, to think he tried to deny himself of this. Of you, spread open for him, moaning his name loud enough for the whole damn building to hear. He can feel your walls start to tense, your breath catching, and when he feels you fucking claw at his back, shaking around him, he knows you’re about to finish.
“Gonna—”
“That’s it,” he purrs, “Cum on my cock.”
You cry out his name, your pussy gushing around him, squeezing him like a vice. Your vision goes blurry, and your body shakes all over. And soon, his hips are stuttering.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck—”
Cursing, he pulls out, jerking the rest of himself until he’s cumming all over you again. He’s everywhere. All over your glistening pussy, your skirt, your thighs, the sink, probably the floor, too. It’s disgusting, and yet, so beautiful.
With a relieved smile, he practically collapses on top of you, his face buried into your chest as his arms wrap around your waist. And for a while, he just breathes, the thought of knowing that he is now covered in his own jizz shoved momentarily to the back of his mind. Because now, as he lies in his own filth with you, he can say with certainty that he finally feels completely satisfied.
So much for being a good guy.
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deleted scene • continuation [not required to read]
It’s been almost half a year now since I posted my first fic here and it’s still my most popular to this day. I never expected it to get any attention but I’m so grateful for all the love I’ve received ever since truly 🤍
Open Heart, Open Mind — s.jy x f!reader
summary — After years of terrible dating experiences, you've come to the conclusion that men only want one of three things: sex, a mother, or a therapist. Jake, however, is the only man whose intentions you can't seem to sniff out.
18+ mdni ⚠︎ Smut, Fluff, Humour, kinda bratty!reader x soft dom!Jake, reader hates men, strangers to lovers, blind dating, Jake is a little shit but he's sexy and kind so that's ok, sexually frustrated reader, p in v sex, brief mentions of oral (m and f receiving), cowgirl (riding), thigh-riding/dry-humping, mild size kink, handjobs, fingering, creampie, no condom but on the pill, cuddling, alcohol consumption, allusions to shitty past partners
words — 6.5k
a/n — I literally had to restrain myself from writing a daddy kink in here... anyway. Here is green flag Jake to cleanse myself from the absolute depravity that was my last work.
Jake is confusing.
See, in all your experience as an unofficial, uncertified expert in dating— or in other words, a woman who has been on far too many failed first dates that she tries to cope with her disappointment by statistically analyzing them— you'd come to the conclusion that men only want one of three things: sex, a mother, or a therapist. And if they don't want just one of them, they want all three.
Men are no strangers to being greedy, nor are they particularly adept at hiding it. All it took was a few sweet words into leading questions to get your prey to crack, to reveal their true intentions. You’ve gotten so good at it, in fact, that the prospect of dating had become almost entirely undesirable— entirely, painfully boring.
So how exactly did you find yourself sitting in a taxi in your heels and dress, dreading the moment you’d have to sit in front of your date and listen to him chatter to himself for hours while you pretend to listen? Your friend, who foolishly believed she could revive the beating of your cold, dead heart, swore up and down that her boyfriend knew a guy who is perfect for you.
“Just give him a chance,” she pleaded with you, with that all too hopeful look in her eyes. It didn’t take much for you to cave. It had been a long time since you’d been out, after all, and maybe you’d have a little fun playing with a new toy like Jake.
Though truthfully, you didn’t think he would be nearly as interesting as you’d hoped. You’d already stalked his Instagram page, and it was nothing short of normal. He was, however, abnormally good-looking, and clearly seemed to know it by the number of shirtless beach photos and gym selfies he had in his monthly photo-dumps.
You remember sighing to yourself in defeat. Hot guys who know they're hot almost always fall into the first genre of men in your unofficial dating hypothesis: the ones who are looking for sex. And though you were consoled by his gorgeous face, you already knew his personality would be nothing short of cocky and bland. But, hey. You didn’t hate the thought of letting him hit it if he turns out to be at least a little bit bearable.
However, he then shared the restaurant's location. The name, a place you couldn't even pronounce, the price, way out of your humble budget. Right then and there, your first baseless assumption about Jake crumbled before your eyes. Because let's be honest, no man is trying that hard to impress you if all they're looking for is pussy— especially a man as good-looking as him.
A mother, you then decided, as the taxi pulls up in front of the restaurant location. You step out of the taxi, stilettos clicking against the concrete, smoothing down the length of your silk black dress.
Men who try too hard are always looking for a partner who will mother them. They want a capable, responsible, but tender and caring woman who will soothe them through their temper tantrums, pack their lunchboxes for work and tuck them into bed like the man-children they are. They want a woman who will manage their schedules, who will remind them when they have a dentist appointment in two weeks, but still call him the man of the household to make him feel important.
Men like this have to try harder because they know that a partner who tends to their every aching need is doing twice the expected labour than the ones who only provide sex. And though they'll spoil you with attention at first, the connection will slowly fade into annoyance as you start to realize how incompetent they are at simply taking care of themselves as a grown adult.
But a man-child doesn't show up to his date early, as Jake does. Nor does a man-child get up to pull out your seat, or pour you a glass of the red wine bottle he's already ordered. Which means that now, you’re back to square one.
Your eyes narrow at his frustratingly handsome face from across the table as he smiles back at you. You despise how genuine he appears, carrying himself with confidence, and yet, without arrogance. Then, you look down at his hands clasped together on the table, catching a glimpse of his Armani watch. Wealthy but tasteful, too. That fact only irritates you more.
"So, Jake," you form as gentle a smile as you can.
The softer you appear, the easier it is to disarm them. Especially, the ones that are looking for the third thing: a therapist, as that is the only remaining thing left on your list.
These ones are the hardest to spot, as they often don't start to pile their emotional baggage onto you until after they've gotten you invested. But, you're a seasoned professional at this point, and you know that if you play your cards right, you can get him to show his true intentions early.
"You must make a lot of money," you finally say, your tone playful enough to get away with the bluntness of your statement. Your intention is to grant the illusion of familiarity. By being upfront, you are essentially laying your cards down on the table, which in turn, should make him feel that there is nothing to be afraid of when speaking to you.
"You have your priorities straight, don't you?" He teases back, meeting your sharp gaze directly, "That shouldn't come as a surprise. You already know what I do for a living."
And you do. You were well aware that he's an engineer, and that his entry-level salary alone was likely twice that of your current one. He's also single and has been working for many years now. That fact alone means he has more than enough to enjoy these types of luxuries.
"I mean to say, this," you gesture around, "is quite the investment for a first date."
"It's like you said. Money isn't a problem for me. I happen to like this restaurant, so I chose it," he affirms. Again, no hint of conceit, no shift in his tone. You begin to simmer in your annoyance at his resistance to bending to your will. But then, he continues, "And I wouldn't describe this as an investment. That makes this whole thing seem so transactional, you know? We're just two people getting to know each other."
Bullseye.
A smile spreads all too quickly across your face.
"You don't think dating is transactional?"
"It shouldn't be."
So he views dating as an emotional ordeal. How adorably sweet of him. Well, that certainly crosses him out as a man who is only looking for sex, right? Now you're getting somewhere, you think, your French-manicured finger nail mindlessly tapping the white tablecloth.
At your silence, he cocks his head, "Do you?"
You’re caught off guard by his question— or rather, the fact that he was even asking you a question at all.
"I don't think it should be, either. Actually, it's very refreshing to hear that." You hum, pretending care, as if you have any desire to get to know him beyond research purposes. "I take it, you're looking for something serious, then?"
"Maybe. Maybe not. But if we have a connection, then I don't see why we shouldn't explore it."
You frown. Damnit. If he were looking for a therapist-girlfriend, he would've given some kind of sappy, false promise to sweep you off your feet and assure you that he takes you seriously. Now your entire theory is being flipped on its head.
This man... why is he so normal? You start to backtrack, brushing the thought aside. No. You've dated enough men to know that none of them are normal. He might have a genuine smile, adorably expressive eyes, and the loveliest voice to ever grace your ears, but he cannot fool you. He must have ulterior motives. They always do.
A soft laugh interrupts your analysis, and you look up.
"Do you treat all your first dates like this?" He's leaning forward now, his chin resting in the palm of his hand.
"Sorry?" You fold your arms.
"You asked me three questions in a row, and now you're glaring at me like I'm an equation you can't figure out," he raises a brow. "I came here with an open heart and open mind. Can you say the same?"
"You don't know anything about me."
"You're right. I don't," he concurs. "So tell me about yourself."
Sex. There. That has to be the thing that he wants from you, and it's final. Most men fall into that category, anyway. Just because he spent a little extra spare money on you, and took his time to actually ask you thought-provoking questions, and actually appeared to listen when you spoke, doesn't change a thing. Sometimes, they like to play with their food before eating it.
Your prediction is affirmed by his offer to drive you home, and you glare at him each time he opens the car door for you, acting like the gentleman you know he isn’t. You have to hide your smug grin as he walks you to the steps of your building, thinking of what kind of silly excuse he’d come up with to invite himself inside. But in the midst of your thoughts, you skip a step, and you find yourself slipping.
"Careful, sweetheart,” he says, reaching for your arm, steadying you straight. Too distracted by his rather firm grasp, you barely register the nickname. “Are you alright?
You blink, then furrow your brows.
"Sweetheart?"
"Because you’re so sweet,” he says with a cheeky smile, and you can’t even pretend not to roll your eyes. “Still haven't warmed up to me, yet, huh?”
"Yet?” you scoff, “You sure have a lot of faith in yourself."
"I have a lot of faith in you, too," he starts, hand sliding from your arm down to your hand, "faith that you'll come around to me by our next date."
"I don’t do ‘next dates’."
“Sure, you don’t.”
You face him beneath the small, dim light that hangs above the entrance. Your expression is pulled into a frown, while his remains relaxed, almost pleased. He's ridiculously gorgeous in person, and even more so up close. It’s a shame that, in only a few moments, you are sure the whole gentlemanly facade would come crashing down. Except, it doesn't.
He doesn’t lean in to kiss you, he doesn’t move his hand down to your ass or try to whisper something obscene in your ear. Instead, his fingers interlock with yours, and he gives your hand a gentle squeeze before exchanging goodbyes.
You spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, your sheets too suffocating, your skin too hot. You replay the feeling of the warmth of his hand in your head, wondering what it would feel like to hold you, to touch you. Your own thoughts make you want to scream.
Jake is confusing, because only he can make you that fucking horny from just touching your hand.
You find yourself sitting in yet another restaurant that is way out of your price range, in another dress and pair of heels, glaring straight at Jake like you want to kill him. Or fuck him. Or both. These days, you’re not really sure what it is that you want. But regardless of what it was, it somehow possessed you to agree to see him again.
"Why did you ask me on a second date?" You finally ask, picking at your food.
"Because I like you."
"Why?"
"Because I do,” he brings his glass of wine to his lips, and you feel your eye twitch.
"There's nothing to like about me,” you say with a huff, setting your utensils down.
"Now, that's not a very nice way to talk about yourself.”
"The first thing I asked you about was your wealth and status. You really want to date a woman like that?"
He pauses, thoughtfully.
"The way I remember it, you were making a valid observation,” he affirms, without even a hint of sarcasm, “To me, that indicates honesty, perceptiveness and intelligence."
You stare, dead silent.
"You can't be serious."
"See, that's the only bad thing about you. The fact that you don't seem to believe a single word I say."
"I have my reasons."
"Which are?"
"Look,” you clasp your hands together, leaning close to make sure he meets your gaze, “I don't care how rich you are. How nice you pretend to be. How stupidly handsome your face is—"
"You think I'm handsome?"
"—None of this is going to work on me,” You seethe, and yet again, he doesn’t waver.
You wonder if it’s even possible to make him frown, or if his face is permanently formed into an easygoing smile forever. You absolutely despise how he carries himself, seeming as if to float through life without a single worry.
"That’s really interesting, considering you’re still sitting here with me," he notes, using his knife to cut another piece of his steak. “You’re acting like I’m forcing you to sit here, but you’re the one who agreed to a second date, sweetheart.”
"Who am I to turn down a free meal?"
"You've barely touched your food," he uses his fork to point at your pasta dish, of which you’d only taken a few bites so far, "If you didn't enjoy our conversations, you wouldn't be taking your time."
"Maybe I've lost my appetite."
"Or, maybe,” he grins, “It’s because you want to stare at my ‘stupidly handsome’ face for even longer."
"One compliment, and it goes straight to your head."
With that, you’re sighing, a hand at your temples. You look to your near-empty glass and grab the bottle at the centre of the table, and to your disappointment, only a few drops remain.
"In my defence, you don't give me very many to work with.”
"How about this?” You place the bottle back down. “I'll give you one more if you order another bottle."
"Just one?"
"Don't be greedy."
And with that, he’s waving down the waiter, and you can't help the warmth that creeps to your cheeks.
You want to trust the facts and statistics you've collected, to remind yourself that getting your hopes up will only lead to disappointment. But then he's pouring you another glass, and you're trying not to laugh at another stupid joke, trying to ignore how your heart skips a beat.
"Okay, sweetheart, let me hear it.” He starts, “And it has to be from the heart. No sweet-talking me, I can tell.”
"I like your voice," you admit all too easily, "Not just the tone, or the accent. But the way that you speak. Sometimes, it sounds like you genuinely care."
"That's because I do.”
You stare him down, burning up inside because you just can’t seem to get the sense that he’s faking this to you, no matter how hard you focus on him. But you just can’t help the feeling that if you believe him, you’ll end up a fool.
"In that case,” you sigh, “I also admire how good of a liar you are. Unlike every other bastard I meet, I can't tell when you do it. So there. Two compliments. Lucky you.”
"I'd feel a little luckier if the second wasn't based on wrongful assumptions about my character, but I'll take what I can get." He’s smiling, raising his glass to yours, "Cheers?"
“To what?”
“To you, learning to play nice with me.”
“I’m not cheering to that.”
He leans his glass over to clink yours anyway, and this time, you can’t fight your smile.
You share a taxi home because you're both far too drunk to drive, and you suppose that’s your own fault for thinking two bottles of wine was an appropriate amount for two people. And yet again, he walks you to your steps.
When you see his beautiful self this close to you again, you can't help but tug him by the collar of his shirt, pressing your lips to his.
You'd long since decided, sometime halfway through the second bottle of wine, that you don't care about his intentions anymore. The only thing that matters now is your intention of getting into his pants and devouring him. But his lips aren't needy like yours. His are kind, controlled, and tender, like nothing you’d ever felt.
While other men kiss to take something, Jake kisses you for the sole purpose of simply kissing you. His hands don’t wander, his lips don’t search for more, and you just melt into him, putty in the palm of his hands.
When he pulls away, he lets his forehead fall to yours, and his hand encompasses your own in a warmth you had been waiting to feel since the last time you saw him. It’s in that moment that you realize you never wanted to be fucked by a man so badly in your entire life.
"You're very beautiful,” he whispers, warming your heart and the space between your legs.
"You’re not too bad, yourself."
You wait with bated breath, and feeling impatient, you open your mouth to invite him inside yourself, but he speaks before you can.
"I'll see you soon.”
You look at him, trying to conceal your shock, as if you aren’t weeping between your thighs, as if you aren’t dreading how you’ll be simmering in sexual frustration for the next few days, until you see him again.
You squirm nervously in your seat as the waiter begins to take your plates away, meeting Jake’s gaze. Everything about this was unfamiliar. The fact that you were seeing the same man a third time, the fact that you were genuinely enjoying your time with him, and the fact that he made you feel happy instead of disgusted or annoyed.
You couldn’t even begin to make sense of it or understand how he had torn down your walls brick by brick without really even trying. But you refused to let it show. You refused to let him crawl further under your skin until you’ve successfully crawled under his first.
"I have a new theory about you,” you say, as soon as the waiter leaves the table.
He‘s leaning forward, "Do tell."
"I think you're a virgin."
He snorts. Loud. A little too loud for a dinner in a candle-lit restaurant, and you nudge him with your foot under the table to silence him. A few other restaurant-goers hear and turn to look at the pair of you before returning to their meals, unfazed.
"Sorry,” he snickers, flashing you a smile, “I don’t mean to disappoint, sweetheart, but if you were looking forward to taking my virginity, then I’m afraid to tell you it's already long gone."
"What a shame," you deadpan, rolling your eyes at him.
"You didn't really think that, did you?" He grins, lowering his voice, "I know I don't kiss like a virgin."
"What am I supposed to think?" You defend yourself, index finger pressed to the table, "What kind of guy doesn't try to have sex on the second date?"
"You wanted to have sex?"
"This isn't about me."
"Isn't it? It takes two to tango," Jake grins, and you can feel your face start to heat up, too flustered to search for a retort. "I hate to say I told you so, but look at you. Already succumbing to my charms."
"In your dreams," you try, rather defensively. And lucky for you, he doesn't press it.
"If you want a real answer to your rhetorical question,” he starts, gazing into your eyes with a look you couldn't quite place, “It didn't feel like the right time."
"Alright, now you really sound like a virgin.”
He raises his hands defensively, "Hey, I prefer my sex sober. What's the point if I can't remember it the next morning?"
You shake your head, recalling all the unsatisfying nights you wish you didn't have to remember. All the men who let themselves finish, only to not return the favour. All the men who pushed your head down while kissing, all the men who didn’t even know where the clit is. The only memorable thing about those experiences is how awful they all were. At least being drunk made them bearable.
"Maybe some people would rather forget."
"Well, sweetheart," he’s leaning forward again, and your breath catches when his hand takes yours across the table, rubbing gentle circles over your knuckles, "You won’t want to forget me."
"Slow down, baby," he hums against your lips, hands moving to halt the movement of your hips.
Annoying, you think as a heavy sigh of frustration escapes you. You've just about had it with Jake, because even after having to be the one to invite him inside, even after being the one to lead him to the couch and mount him, he never caves to your demands. Even now, as he is hard, seated beneath you.
Every time you kiss him with too much urgency, he reels you back in, controlling the pace as he pleases. Every time your hands wander down to his waistband, he raises his knee to the throbbing heat between your legs, your hands flying to his shoulders to brace yourself.
It doesn't help that he's hands down the best kisser you've ever experienced. His lips, soft and warm. His tongue, slow and deliberate. He doesn't poke his tongue around like an idiot or try to swallow your face. He's controlled. Intentional. It makes you want to rip his clothes off like an animal.
"Why?" You hate how whiny your voice sounds, squirming as you try to grind your hips down against his thigh. He doesn't budge.
"Because I want to take my time with you," his lips trail down to your jaw, teeth grazing you ever so slightly as he sucks down on your sensitive skin. "You're so beautiful like this."
"You're an asshole," you inhale, biting down your lip to suppress the whine that threatens to escape you.
His mouth continues to trail downward, worshiping your neck, but never harsh enough to leave a mark, as he had promised he wouldn't— You're a working professional. It would be a pain to cover up.
"You're quite mean for someone so needy," he replies, moving your hips for you at his decided pace, "So demanding."
"You just want to watch me suffer."
"The opposite, actually. I want to make you feel so good." His lips nip at your collarbone, and you grind against his thigh in just the right way. You dig your fingers further into the fabric of his shirt, a timid whimper falling from your parted lips. "Wanna give you everything you need. Just be patient, baby."
You huff. The last thing you want right now is to be patient, and you swear to god, if he doesn't whip it out right now and bury himself so deep inside you, you might start to cry. But you've learned by now that he doesn't heed to your call. With your eyes fluttering shut, despite the distracting, toe-curling friction between your legs, you start to scheme.
You bring a hand to his cheek, guiding him away from where he kisses your neck. And with the tip of your fingers, you lift his chin, meeting him eye-to-eye.
"But Jakey," you pout, "Don't you want me to touch you?"
You lean forward, hand at his chest pushing him a little further into the couch, and this time it's your lips at his neck, nipping his skin, your head spinning at the low groan that escapes his throat. His hands move to the small of your back, rubbing slow, encouraging circles into your skin. And now, without him controlling your hips, you press yourself against him with more fervour.
"I can’t help being mean. It's only because I want you so bad," your hand trails down his chest, slowly, until your finger tips reach his belt. "Should I make it up to you?"
You press your lips to his to cut off his presumed words, desperate and hopeful that your womanly woes are enough to shake his quite frankly terrifying self-control, in the hopes that now, finally, he would let you take what you want. The thought of it alone has your hips stuttering, and you whimper into his open mouth, a familiar pressure starting to build up inside you.
Though, you don't realize what you're chasing until it's too late, and suddenly, you snap, calling out his name against his grinning lips like a bitch in heat as he swallows your sinful moans, legs shaking in the aftermath of your high. And when your hips finally come to a stop, your cries fading into heavy pants, that's when it hits you.
He pulls away, looking at you up and down in awe, watching how your chest rises and falls, admiring the dazed look in your eyes.
"Did you just...?"
You nod, slowly, trying not to shrink under his prideful gaze. To say you were embarrassed would be an understatement. You're both fully clothed, and he hadn't even touched you beyond kissing you, and yet you already finished. He laughs softly, his thumbs still rubbing in slow circles at your back, the simple movement alone setting your body aflame.
"I wasn't expecting that."
"Neither was I."
"Hm, does that make me special, then?"
"Well, I usually have to fake these things,” you admit bashfully, “so I guess that does make you pretty special.”
"You sure know how to flatter a guy, huh?"
"I know a lot of ways to do that," you say with a sly smile, earning a brow raise from him, “If you’ll finally let me?”
Your eyes drop to the tent in his pants, and your mouth parts with want. If you were with any other guy, you probably would've reached down to drop his pants and get on your knees unceremoniously, but something about Jake makes you want to carry yourself with a little more class.
Instead, you move your lips to his neck, and your fingers begin to work at the buttons of his crisp, button-down shirt. But your eyes begin to feel a little heavy, and your fingers start to feel a little too clumsy, struggling with only the first button. Your lips only manage to press a single kiss before you're yawning, exhaustion overtaking you as you mentally start to recover from your high.
"Tired?" He asks softly, with maybe a hint of trying to disguise his amusement.
You finally undo the top button, moving to the next and sigh against the side of his neck.
"A little," you admit, thinking about how you only managed to get a couple hours of good sleep. "Last night, there was this project deadline. Deadweight coworkers did nothing, so I had to pick up the slack, last minute."
"Sweetheart, you should've told me. You must be exhausted," his hands move from the small of your back to your middle, rubbing up and down soothingly. His eyes soften in concern, in a way that makes your pussy throb. Christ, there’s something wrong with you. "Now I feel bad that I've kept you up so late."
"Don't feel bad. It's not your fault that my coworkers are incompetent." You scoff, your head slowly falling to rest in the crook of his neck, and your hand clutching uselessly at the fabric of his shirt. The rhythm of his fast-beating heart is almost enough to lull you to sleep right there, but you will yourself not to. You don't want to be done with him yet.
"Mm. Well, if it makes you feel better, you're not the only one struggling with incompetent coworkers," he laughs softly, and you can feel the vibrations of his chest.
You let out a louder yawn this time. But when you shift to adjust yourself more comfortably in his arms, you're reminded that he is still hard as a rock beneath you— a reminder that you hadn't yet returned the favour. Admittedly, you want nothing more than for him to slip it out and stick it inside you right there, to fuck you until you're wide awake again, but you know he won’t do that. So instead, your hand slides down his chest and fumbles around with his belt.
"Watcha doing?" He hums, “Thought you were tired?”
"You got me off, so—"
"Did I?" He chuckles, and you feel your face burn. Okay. Maybe it was more like you got yourself off. But still. "I don't need anything, beautiful. Save it for when you have the energy."
You're too tired to fight him on that as he lifts from the couch, carrying you bridal-style to your bedroom. And laying you gently on the mattress, you get this overwhelming sadness at the loss of his warm body against yours.
You try to sweet-talk him into giving you what you want, as he helps you rid yourself of your dress and stockings, and though his eyes linger on the matching set you decided to wear underneath just for him, he only offers you a polite, respectful smile. It almost annoys you how considerate he is, asking you where you keep your makeup wipes to help clean your face.
You pout when he kisses your forehead, finally, saying something about how he should be on his way.
"Stay," You tug at his sleeve. You don't want to think about how ridiculous it is that you're asking a guy you've been on three dates with to basically cuddle you to sleep. Since when did you act so clingy? Since when did you want someone to stay in bed with you, if only to keep them close, and nothing more? Timidly, you lower your voice. "Do you... want to stay?"
It's all worth it, at least, to be able to watch him strip down, your eyes taking in his lean, muscular form. He's still hard in his boxers as he crawls into your bed, and you smile when you finally feel him flush against you again, with big, strong arms wrapped around your centre.
He doesn't try to grope your breasts, or grind into you, or whisper dirty things in your ear, and it's almost offensive, you think, because how can he behave so well when you're backing your hips into him, the obscene wetness between your legs staining the fabric of his underwear? What kind of inhuman self-restraint does this man possess?
You quickly give up your shifting movements, realizing he won't budge. And as your heavy eyelids fall shut, you can't help but think that maybe he was right. For now, you would rest. Only so that you could have all the energy in the world to pounce on him the very next morning and take his dick until you can't walk.
"Mm, Jake?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't wait for you to fuck me," the words slip out too easily. He laughs into the crook of your neck, but you don't miss his shaky exhale, and the way his grip seems to tighten around your form.
"Go to sleep."
"You sure you don't want me to make you breakfast first?" He asks, as if you don't have his entire cock in your mouth right now.
If you thought he was gorgeous last night, he was irresistible now, with his dark, messy hair over his eyes, his voice hoarse and sleepy. Naturally, you just couldn’t resist yourself as you'd pushed him back onto the mattress and crawled under the sheets, hungrily stalking the imprint of his cock. And though he tried and insisted that he should be the one getting between your legs instead, it was too early to be manhandling you like that. So he just let you do your thing while providing annoyingly unwarranted, kind and considerate commentary.
You glare at him through your lashes, removing him from your mouth, letting your hand do the work instead.
"Fuck breakfast."
He lets out a half-laugh, half-groan as your mouth returns to the head of his dick, licking away the precum that leaks from him like it's the best thing you've ever tasted. Because really, this was the only thing you were hungry for: getting to finally touch him, and hear those pretty sounds of his amidst his running mouth.
"It's the most important meal of the day, you know," he continues, hands curling in your hair to get a better view of your face, rather than to control your pace this time, "Never good to start the day on a— ah— empty stomach."
"Really?" You can't help the sly grin that curls at your lips, before you're crawling up. You sit yourself on him, grinding against his cock through your lacy little getup, "Then fill me up."
He looks up at you, eyes wandering down your body to admire what you'd worn for him last night, and his hands move to your hips to thumb the fabric.
"Wearing stuff like this on the third date," he smiles, "Flattery really is your forte."
He says, as if having sex on the third date as two fully grown adults is some kind of taboo. Though you suppose he’s right. Never in a million years would you have done something like this for any other idiot guy.
"It's only called flattery if it's insincere, right?" You reply, feeling him hook his fingers around the waistband. He starts to pull them down, and you let the fabric slip down your bare legs. "Trust me. I'm very sincere about this. You deserve it."
"Me?" He smiles ear to ear, like a kid on Christmas morning.
"Yeah, you. You've been very polite, Jake," you sigh when you feel your bare cunt pressed against him, the head of his cock catching your clit. "Let me show you how much I appreciate it."
"Whoa, hold on, beautiful," he hisses, hands flying to your hips as you press his tip to your entrance. He’s panting below you, and you whine in his grasp, trying to press down. "Haven't even prepped you yet, and—”
"Holy shit, Jake, I don't need it," you groan, and he opens his mouth to protest again, but you cut him off, "And I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me right now. I'm on the pill, so don't worry your handsome self over anything else, just let me have you.”
Without much convincing at all, he eases his grasp, and you whine when you start to sink on him, now understanding exactly why he was concerned about prep. He’s huge, and you've never been stretched out like this before, but you don't care. The slight sting of being stretched out is nothing compared to the satisfaction you feel of finally being filled. You close your eyes when you sheath yourself to the hilt, feeling him deep in your guts.
"You okay?"
"Oh, I'm amazing," you sigh, flashing him a smile. You start to move just a little bit, rising and falling in shallow thrusts, slowly working your way up, "I'm riding a hot, respectful guy with a huge dick, is that even a real question?"
He laughs, and it morphs into a moan as you fully raise your hips to slam back down again.
"Well, the most gorgeous little thing I've ever laid my eyes on is trying to ride my dick like it's nothing, so it's only right that I make sure she's okay.”
"Trying and succeeding," you insist, feeling the competitive urge to prove yourself a little more.
Your hands press down on his chest to brace yourself, and you start bouncing on him, your vision going blurry every time you feel him hit that spot inside you just right. The curve of his cock just fits you so nicely, you can't help the chorus of noises that escapes you— nor can Jake, apparently, who only seems to know how to shut up when you’re fucking his brains out. You pray you won't be hearing a noise complaint from your next-door neighbours, but the chances are slim.
"Fuck, you're good at this," he groans, resisting the urge to fuck up into you. His hands move to your waist, and one presses against your lower stomach, where he can feel himself right there. "Feels good? You like feeling me all the way in there?"
You whimper when you feel a hand at your breast, kneading and pinching the soft flesh. His eyes are all over you, worshipping you, and suddenly, you can’t remember the last time you’d even had sex in daylight. Normally, you felt too exposed. Too vulnerable. Right now, you wouldn’t have it any other way. You want to watch him as he falls apart. You want him to see you.
"So good, Jake,” you stammer, your teeth sinking into your lower lip to muffle your sighs, “Fuck, could do this all day."
"Yeah? You're something else, aren't you?" He smirks, "But I don't mind. I'll let you ride me til your legs give out, if that's what my needy girl wants.
"Your girl?"
"Hopefully," His voice is gentle as his hands wrap around your waist, pulling you down until you're flush with him, "but I'll save that question for the next time I take you out."
You want to laugh because, even as he's balls deep inside you, he's still trying to be romantic. And somehow, that thought alone has you trembling, pushing you towards the edge. The wind is knocked out of you when he starts fucking up into you, hands gripping your hips, taking the pace into his own hands.
Just like that, you're crying out, and he's fucking you through your orgasm, his own nearing as you clench around his dick. It doesn't take long for him to finish either, releasing deep inside you, watching it gather at the base of his cock.
You let your head fall to his chest, still twitching inside you, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head— soft, delicate and, somehow, innocent. Then, you hear his stomach growl, and you both start laughing.
"You still want breakfast?" You tease.
He hums, thoughtfully, and you squeal as he flips you over onto your back.
"Fuck breakfast," he quotes you from earlier as he slips out of you, using two fingers to keep his cum from dripping out of you. Overly sensitive, you writhe, and you whimper when you feel his breath hover just above your clit. "I want you."
nav • masterlist • thanks for reading ♡
Love Talk — p.sh x f!reader
based on this ask. thank you anon ♡
♬♪ I know you don't speak my language but I love the way she's talking to me — Love Talk, WayV
18+ mdni ⚠︎ college au, smut, bit of humour, kissing, fingering, oral f!receiving, foreign exchange student reader, studying but not really studying, language barrier, korean words (the important parts are translated by the characters)
a/n — somehow I wrote this in a few hours I had a great time with it lmao. I apologize in advance for any korean mistakes I may have made. I was mostly using google translate + my limited knowledge
wc — 1.7k
note ✰.ᐟ that italicized dialogue = character is speaking in Korean ex: "happy reading!" said author, to you.
You weren't sure what to expect when you applied for your school's exchange program. Honestly, you'd only really done it because your friend kept pestering you to apply with them, claiming that spending a semester abroad would do wonders for job applications.
Though what you certainly weren’t expecting was your friend to be flying off elsewhere, while your school’s exchange committee had assigned you to go to Korea. And though your school had given you intensive language lessons two weeks prior to your departure, you think it might've all gone in one ear and out the other the moment you actually arrive.
The reality of it all sinks in as you stand alone on campus, feeling out of place in a crowd of other students who wade past you carelessly. You keep glancing down at your phone at the foreign social media app that your local student mentor “Park Sunghoon” had advised you to download, then looking back around you to try to catch someone's eye. However, you didn't have much to go off of, given his profile photo was completely blank.
This is all before a tall, dark-haired figure looms over you, greeting you with a polite, downright gorgeous, dimpled smile. And, well, to say you are pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.
"안녕하세요." His voice is low and smooth. The kind you could listen to all day, though you barely understand it. "한국에 오신 것을 환영합니다."
"한국에… 환영합니다…?" You repeat his words under your breath, pausing for a moment— partially because your Korean is dogshit, mostly because the sheer attractiveness of the man before you is making your brain short-circuit. Okay. 한국 means Korea. 환영 means welcome, I think? So... I should say, "Thank you. Ah, 감사합니다."
Your confidence deflates when he laughs lightly.
"귀여운," he sighs under his breath, as if he doesn't mean for you to hear it. But you do.
"귀여운 means cute, right?" You ask, rather bluntly.
He pauses, seemingly taken aback by your question, and his polite smile widens just a little bit more, in genuine amusement. You smile right back, not missing the way his eyes seem to look you up and down. Maybe it's just some cultural barrier that you're not aware of yet, but you're pretty sure the look in his eyes is the universal tell-tale sign of a guy who is checking you out.
You don't have time to ponder it any longer because he's taking your suitcase from your hands, his long legs moving in swift strides. You nearly trip over yourself trying to keep up, as he explains what you think is something about your housing situation. But honestly, even if you could fully understand, you're not sure you would be listening anyway, too distracted by this man's beauty to even form a coherent thought.
"이해했나요?" He asks finally, looking to you, "You understand?"
"네."
"네? Yes? You sure?"
"잘생겼어요," you add, "Handsome. Did I say it correctly?”
He laughs fully this time, covering his smile with his hand, but you don't fail to notice the pink that tinges his cheeks. You grin, thinking to yourself that maybe your semester abroad wouldn't be so bad after all.
“Sunghoon…”
He swats your hand away when you try to reach for his thigh, shaking his head at you like a stern professor.
“아니요. Not here,” his eyes tear away from his laptop only briefly to glance at you from the side, “You almost failed your last language quiz. You know how that reflects on me, as your mentor?”
“Almost,” you repeat, pouting, the only real words you catch being ‘almost’ and ‘fail’.
It was a bit amusing, really, how neither of you could fully understand the other, and yet you’d pounced on each other basically the moment you arrived. It had only taken a week into your exchange to have him over at your dorm room, under the guise of “studying Korean”, as if your real motivation wasn't to climb him like a tree and have him fuck you silly.
Lucky for you, he had an open mind, and despite the communication barrier, he never failed to understand exactly what your body needed from him. Lust is a universal language, you suppose.
That’s why you find yourself sitting here, in your campus library with him, confused because when he had messaged you asking to study, you had no reason to believe there would be any actual studying going on.
“I still passed, didn’t I? You’re not proud of me?”
“Proud? Very funny,” he deadpans, though he does a terrible job at trying to suppress his grin. “Behave yourself today, and maybe I’ll be proud. And I’m serious, this time. Understand? Behave. Listen.”
“You want me to behave?” You bat your lashes at him, but he really doesn’t budge this time around.
“네. Focus.”
Though his tone is playful, you know he is telling the truth. Because as fun as fooling around with him is, he is supposed to be helping you for extra credit, and if you don’t do well by the end of the semester, all his hard work goes down the drain. You realize that’s probably why he declined going to your dorm to “study”, instead opting for somewhere a little more public… though it is still a private study room.
So now, even though all you want to do is get inside those grey sweatpants of his, between his open legs, you’re forced to sit in your seat. Patiently. Your legs crossed to relieve the discomfort between your thighs as he quizzes you on all the mistakes you’d made on your previous assessments.
“학생?”
“Student.”
“Now, how would you say ‘I’m a student’”
“저는 학생…입니다.”
“And in casual discussion?”
“학생…에요?”
“학생…이에요. Close,” he hums in approval, “선생님?”
“Teacher,” you smile, “What’s the word for favourite again?”
“좋아하는?”
“You,” you point at him, “좋아하는 선생님. Favourite teacher.”
“Focus,” he rolls his eyes, taking in a shaky breath as your foot nudges against his leg, under the table. He scrolls down on the scan of your corrected assignment, displayed on his laptop screen, “멋있어요?”
“맛있어요… means cool?” You give him a sly smile, leaning in just a little bit closer, still thinking that if you sweet-talk him enough, he might give you what you want. “You are 맛있어요.”
He snorts. Loud. And you look up at him, seeing his hand clasped over his mouth. Embarassed, your brows furrow in confusion.
“What?”
“Say again. Say it.”
“You are 맛있어요?”
With that, he’s laughing hard at your mispronunciation. He closes his laptop, and one hand slaps the table, while the other wipes an imaginary tear.
“You think I’m delicious?” He practically wheezes, and you still don’t understand, half-flustered and half-frustrated.
“Stop it,” you whine, hitting his arm lightly, “You’re being mean, Sunghoon.”
“아니요. You’re just funny,” he takes your batting hands, leaning down to press a kiss to your knuckles, “and very cute.”
“Just cute?”
“And... not very good at studying,” he adds.
You take his moment of weakness as an excuse to lean closer, close enough that you're right next to him, one hand at his leg while the other is at his shoulder, feeling the expanse of firm muscles beneath his hoodie.
“Not my fault that my teacher is so handsome,” you purr in his ear, lips trailing down his jaw, “Even if I can’t understand half the things he says.”
You begin to nip at his jaw, hand sliding up and down his thigh until he moves, taking your lips against his instead. And though he’s gentle, dare you say even a little shy, you are anything but. Your tongue traces his lower lip, begging for entrance, and he groans when your hand grazes over the half-hard tent in his pants already.
“We’re really doing this here?” He lets out a frustrated sigh.
His hands move to your waist, then to your hips, slipping under until he’s lifting you, just enough to seat you on the table. His lips move to yours, and you squeal as his hand travels downwards, underneath your skirt, though he doesn’t touch you where you so badly wish he would just yet.
“Sunghoon…”
“Not yet. Our lesson isn’t done,” he mutters against your lips, his thumb rubbing slow, cruel circles into your thigh. “Answer me in Korean. Where are we right now?”
“Library. 도서관.”
“And what are we supposed to be doing?”
“Study… 숙제하다?”
“Not exactly.”
“공부하다.”
“Good girl,” he purrs, and you sigh when you feel his fingers slip past your soaked panties.
Two fingers press at your entrance, and you claw at his shoulders as they sink into your heat, pressing right into that sensitive spot he seems to reach so easily. He kisses you again, his mouth catching every little sound into his own, smirking at the way you tremble with each thrust of his fingers. A low, guttural groan escapes him.
“I’ll make you finish for every right answer. And punish you for every wrong one. Maybe then you’ll be more motivated to study, hm?”
“Hoon…” your eyes are glazed over, not processing any single one of his sweet whispers in your ear, but clenching around his fingers regardless. He says more— something that sounds like praise, not needing to speak the same language to understand how your body responds to him.
You whine when his fingers leave you, and he drops to his knees, muttering things that now aren’t even loud enough for you to try to make sense of as he kisses up your inner thigh. Then, his mouth is on your clit, and your hands are flying to his hair, threading through the soft strands as he makes you cry out.
Your head is nothing but empty as his fingers re-enter you, filling you deep exactly where you needed to feel them, eating you out like a starved man. And just as you feel yourself getting close, back arching and hips moving forward, he pulls away.
You watch as he takes his fingers, sucking them dry of your essence, and gosh, he’s just beautiful like this. His face flushed, his lips pink and swollen, and his eyes looking up at you like a wolf who’d caught its prey.
“What was it you said again…? Ah,” a grin tugs at his lips, his fingers prodding at your entrance again. His mouth is close enough that you feel his heavy breaths against your throbbing clit. “You are 맛있어요.”
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Pushover — p.sh x f!reader
summary — Your husband only has so much patience. This time, he won't be offering you much grace.
18+ mdni ⚠︎ Smut, husband!Sunghoon x Wife!Reader, non-idol au, mean dom!sunghoon, sub!reader, degradation kink, grinding, thigh-riding, spanking with and without a belt, implied traditional marriage dynamic, kink(s) not communicated beforehand
wc — 3.1k
disclaimer — I originally posted this to Ao3 some time ago. It’s still there but I orphaned the work because I want to keep the two accounts separate. This is the only enha work I have ever posted on there and I will only ever post future enha works on this account unless stated otherwise.
a/n — posting this hoping other people will start posting fics again cuz rn the vibes on enhablr are making me sad and I kinda just wanna be a gooner
"Still working?" You lean against the doorway of your husband's office.
You take in the sight of him, bathed in moonlight. He hadn't even bothered to change his clothes yet, but he was far from appearing as put-together as he had been when he left for work that very morning. The sleeves of his white collared button-up were rolled to reveal his forearms, his tie hung loosely around his neck, and his hair fell over his eyes, likely from running his hands through it all day.
You shouldn’t enjoy the sight of him so unkempt. You were the one who took the time to iron that shirt, after all. You're the one who had buttoned it up and smoothed the fabric down his toned chest, who had straightened his collar and carefully wrapped the tie around his neck as he chased your lips for loving kisses. Still, you can't find it within yourself to care, because the sight of him like this, in his most dishevelled, vulnerable state. It reminds you that you are the only one who gets to see your picture-perfect husband like this.
You had already been warm in the face when you had entered the doorway, but now, something more distracting arises within you— something ravenous. Your eyes wander from his eyes, to his lips, to his hands— god, his hands— back to his face, adoring how his glasses rest low on the bridge of his nose.
You only wish his eyes did not remain fixated on his paperwork when he finally responds.
"Can't sleep?"
"I..." you start, losing your train of thought.
You had awoken earlier in the night, a familiar warmth between your legs, but a cold empty spot right next to you at your king-sized bed— the place in which your husband was supposed to occupy. And when you had glanced down the hallway to see the light on in his office, you let out a sigh of frustration. Because as much as you admired his hardworking nature, you couldn't stand to sleep alone another night. Not when you needed him so badly. And so, you slipped into something lacy and enticing, your robe wrapped loosely at your waist, determined to get exactly what you want.
And yet, as you stand before him right now, you somehow feel... shy? That’s the kind of power he holds over you, you suppose. The kind where he doesn't even have to look at you to tear down the walls you hide behind. His presence alone is enough to disarm you.
"I had a dream," you finally say.
"A bad one?"
"A good one. Really good." Your fingers curl around the edge of the doorway where you brace yourself, a sense of pride growing within you as his lips form the faintest smile. You love that smile.
His half-lidded eyes meet yours, lingering a moment longer just to scan the length of your form. His gaze so intense, someone who didn't know him could mistake it for something analytical, rather than what you knew it was; primal.
It had been a week since he'd last touched you, and though you knew he was busy, you hoped you could get something out of him tonight. Anything. And for a moment, you think you might. He has desires too, after all. He stares until you shift beneath his gaze, and his index finger taps his pen once, twice, then... he sighs. He shakes his head.
"You can tell me about it later. Go back to bed."
"Not until you join me," you're quick to make your way to the desk, standing behind his chair, "What, you aren't curious?"
"Don't be stubborn."
"I'm being stubborn?" The statement almost makes you laugh. But, the rigidness in his demeanour tells you it isn't the time to humour him.
You place your hands on his shoulders instead, his muscles tense beneath your touch, but a warmth spreads through your chest seeing him lean into the touch. A sigh, barely audible, escapes him. You draw small circles with your thumbs into his skin, the knots in his back meeting you with resistance. His head leans back against the chair, his eyes fluttering shut. If there’s ever been a moment to break through to him, it’s now.
Carefully, your lips ghost the shell of his ear, "Come on, you deserve a break."
Today, however, it seems you’re out of luck. His eyes snap open, and he rolls his shoulders to nudge your hands away.
"If I take a break, then nothing gets done. And if nothing gets done, then there's even more to do. Not to mention the promotion—"
"The promotion that your boss keeps dangling over your head?"
You weren't going to say it. You probably wouldn't have, if you weren't so wound up. But you don’t care anymore. You move to stand between him and the desk, ignoring the way his brows furrow.
You continue, "It's nothing more than an empty promise. This company is using you for all you're willing to offer and intends to give you nothing in return. Can’t you see?”
Your husband only has so much patience when it comes to you. He is reaching his limit, you can tell by the way his jaw clenches. Still, he offers you grace. He really shouldn't.
"It’s more complicated than that. You don't know what you're saying," he lowers his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose, setting them down, "Just go to sleep—“
"I'm saying you're a pushover."
A silence falls between you. A darkness flashes behind those tired, tired, eyes of his. Selfishly, you enjoy the rush of excitement coursing through you as he stands to full height. And though it feels like you are caged in, he remains an arm's length away.
"Say it again."
"You heard me."
"Don't make me repeat myself."
You want to avert your gaze but you don’t. Whether it’s because you refuse to falter, or just to test his limits, you aren’t sure.
"I said you're a pushover. You let people push you around."
There’s a long pause, long enough to make you squirm. Then, he laughs under his breath, shaking his head. He begins to unfasten his watch from his wrist.
You don’t normally argue with him. But in the rare moments you have, not once have you heard him laugh.
"Sunghoon?"
"Bend over."
Oh.
"And if I say no?"
"You won't," his watch hits the wooden surface with a soft thud, followed by his wedding ring. "Not if you want me to touch you. And I know you want me to."
Like a bitch in heat, you do as you're told, your hands flat against the desk, sighing when you feel his presence behind you. His hand slides from the curve of your waist, down to the curve of your ass, drawing circles into your skin with his thumb. Grasping your hips, he leans down, his lips at your ear, and the most pathetic sound escapes you when you feel his half-hard cock pressed against your cunt. Even through layers of clothing, anything is enough to evoke a reaction when you've been this neglected. But he doesn't let you grind your ass into him. His grasp is stern, unforgiving.
"Such a pretty set," he whispers too sweetly, pushing your silk robe up, letting his hand trace the white lace between your legs. He's touching you everywhere except where you need it most. "Tell me, who did you wear it for?"
"You."
"That's right."
His hands leave you, and before you can wonder why, a sharp pain spreads across your ass cheek. Swift, precise, and intentionally hard.
Smack.
A cry rips from your throat, strangled, shocked. It wasn't just a slap. It wasn't just pleasure masquerading as something cruel. It was real punishment. And though the pain spreads across the surface of your skin, an awful, lingering sting, the desire between your legs only grows.
"And who bought it for you?"
You hesitate this time.
"You—“
Smack.
"And what did you call me earlier?"
You breathe in, your eyes squeezed shut.
"A pushover."
Smack. Smack. Smack.
Each hit is harder than the one prior, and you would’ve nearly collapsed if it weren't for your hands bracing yourself. You flinch when he strokes you softly this time, soothing the skin he had just disrupted as you tremble, tears threatening your eyes. It hurts. But it hurts so good.
"Shh, it's okay," he whispers into your ear. His free hand moves to tilt your face, pulling you in for a kiss. Just the taste of him is enough to remind you of how starved you are. You kiss him as if to plead for mercy with your lips, but the feeling of his sinful grin against your mouth makes you believe there is none for him to give.
"Sunghoon," you nearly whimper at the loss of his lips, "Touch me?”
"I will," his hand strokes your cheekbone, grazes your chin, then leaves all too soon. “After you apologize."
You freeze, your expression dropping. It would be so easy to lie. Your mouth hangs open, a simple "sorry" lingering on the tip of your tongue. And yet, the words refuse to escape you. You aren't sorry for telling the truth; that your husband works like a loyal mutt for a boss who is more than willing to kick him to the curb the moment he decides he doesn't need him.
You shake your head, barely able to meet his gaze because never in your time together had you seen him with a look like that in his eyes.
"I can't."
He forces you back down to the desk, and though you don’t offer any resistance, you squirm weakly in anticipation of another spank. Instead, you hear the sound of his belt unbuckling. Your eyes go wide when you feel the cold leather resting against your ass.
“Maybe you were right. I let you push me around. But I think I’ve been generous enough.”
"Wait, I…” You're breathing erratically, barely able to string together a coherent thought.
"You want me to stop?"
You close your eyes. The heat between your legs, and the dampness which has soaked through your underwear tells you what you already know. Some sick and twisted part of you enjoys this. Your silence followed by the shake of your head confirms it.
"Deep down, you know you deserve this, don't you? Or maybe you just want to keep getting off on it. Needy bitch."
Smack. This time, you scream, tears falling from your eyes, onto the papers beneath you. It burns. The pain is searing, and yet, you love every second of it. You love the way he holds you down as you writhe, you love how your heart races with fear— with pleasure.
Over your shoulder, you catch sight of him and your heart nearly skips a beat. Because right there was the sight of your proper, polite husband with his belt in his hand, and a fire reignited his eyes. You decide there is no one else in the world who looks so beautiful while losing all their inhibitions.
The hand at your back finds your ring finger, circling the wedding band, thumbing the delicate stone at the centre.
"Tell me who bought you this ring?"
"It was you."
Smack.
"Who bought you this nice house, in a nice neighbourhood, and everything else you've ever wanted?"
"You."
Smack.
For a moment you hear him sigh, a finger trailing up and down the dampness of your underwear. You’re throbbing with need, clenching around nothing.
Lowly, he asks, "Tell me who makes you this wet?"
"You do."
"That's right. Me." His finger ghosts the lace hem, briefly slipping beneath the fabric. The tip of his finger meets the outside of your wet cunt, and for a moment you think just maybe this one time he might give in.… but he is as stubborn as you are, with a lot more self-control.
Again, you mourn the loss of his touch.
"It's all because of me. So why are you so fucking ungrateful?"
You feel the cool leather hit you once. Twice. Thrice, until you lose count. By the time you hear the belt fall to the floor, you're a weeping, shaking mess. All because of him.
"Get up.”
When you turn around, his lips crash into yours, slow and deliberate. Calculated and precise. Just enough to reel you in, never enough to give you what you clearly want. But you? You're desperately grasping at him, silently begging for his touch. You can both taste your tears between your kisses, and he pulls away to wipe them from your eyes.
You wonder if he feels pity. The coldness behind his gaze as his thumb pads your lower lip tells you otherwise.
"I’m done with you, now. Go back to bed and think about what you did.”
"What?"
He reaches for his reading glasses, seating himself back down on the chair, while you stand at his side, hot and bothered. Your stomach drops. This was the real punishment, wasn’t it? Not the spanking, not hitting you with a belt until your skin felt raw. It was winding you up, just to leave you high and dry. To dismiss you like you’re nothing. He hadn’t promised you anything, but he had never left you unfinished before. The smile on his face makes you want to scream.
"I can't just... please, Sunghoon, I need you to touch me. I know you want it, too," you let your hand drift up his thigh, approaching his visible erection in his pants, but he stops you by the wrist. Gently, he leads you into his lap, tucking your head beneath his chin and you swear it's like heaven. You breathe in his scent like oxygen, and you sink into the warmth of his body like it's the only thing keeping you alive.
"You can stay." His tone is stern, followed by the sound of his pen hitting the page. "But I'm not touching you."
His writing turns into white noise, your thoughts become foggier, dirtier. A week's worth of neglect, sexual frustration, and rejection floats through your mind, and you're so needy you could cry. Your ass still stings, but nothing hurts more than the aching desire between your legs. You shift in his lap unintentionally, your cunt pressed right against his thigh, enough to make your head spin. And though it’s pathetic, you do it again, and again… partially for relief, but mostly in the hopes that he’ll take pity on you.
Your underwear is damp now, threatening to stain his nice pants, but he doesn't seem to try to stop you as your pace picks up little by little. You roll your hips once more and sigh, thankful for some kind of friction at last. But still, he continues to work, pretending like you don't exist, like you can’t see how ridiculously hard he is for you right now
"Don't you want to touch me?" Your voice is hoarse, weak, "Don't you want me to touch you?"
One last time, you trail your hand from his shoulder down his chest, to the waistband of his pants. He slaps your hand away.
"This is all you're going to get," he says, his voice dropping. Setting his pen down, he leans back in his chair, pushing your head from his chest to take the sight of you in, fully. And god, what a sight it was to see you grinding against his thigh like some kind of horny teenager, desperately seeking friction. Seeking release. Seeking anything at all.
"You don't get to have anything else. Clearly, I’ve spoiled you for too long."
"I need more.”
You whine, and he laughs at you. Never in your time together had he ever denied you like this. Never had he been so mean.
"You want more. There’s a difference.”
Your breath hitches when you feel his hands at your thighs, lightly skimming the surface of your skin. It’s not enough to satisfy you, only enough to remind you of what you’re missing.
"Tell me about that dream of yours," One hand moves to graze your jawline, lifting at your chin. His thumb grazes your lower lip. "The one that made you decide to rudely interrupt me."
"It was about you."
"And what was I doing in your dream?" He grins.
"Doing me. Bent over your desk."
"In here?"
"No. At your work office." Shit. You let out a whimper, your hips staggering slightly. "I thought of showing up. Having you fill me up while your coworkers don't know. I miss you, baby, it gets so lonely at home without you."
"Fuck." He breathes, watching your lips part ever so slightly, pretty noises falling from you. "Fuck, you're so greedy.”
"Just want you inside me.”
“Yeah? Well, you can blame yourself, because you’re not getting that,” His hand reaches for your throat, not applying any real pressure, but just to grasp you, “Such a dirty mouth. Maybe next time I should fuck your throat instead. But you would like being used like that, wouldn’t you?”
He moves your hips to seat you on his clothed cock as he thrusts up into your hip movements, unable to suppress his smile as you gasp, seeing you close to finishing like this. No real contact, not even fondling under the clothes. Just pure need and desire for him. Even without fucking you, he has you calling out his name like a prayer, over and over again.
"You gonna finish like this? With me barely touching you?" He scoffs, "Take it. Take what I give to you and be grateful for it."
And god knows you are. Feeling his hardness beneath you, it only takes a few more movements for something inside you to snap, riding out your high. He presses his mouth to yours, swallowing your cries, devilishly grinning all the way through it.
Because finally, after you only barely got what you wanted, you still kiss him as if he had just given you god's greatest gift.
Because as powerless as his shitty job made him feel, at least he knew you would always be there, waiting for him at home— Next time, he hopes, with a little more appreciation.
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‘𝑻𝒊𝒍 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝑫𝒐 𝑼𝒔 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 ⟡ 𝓅.𝓈𝒽 ℰ 𝓈.𝒿𝓎
pairing ⟡ vampire!sunghoon x f!reader & husband!jake x f!reader
summary ⟡ Despite the night terrors that have haunted you for years, you’ve achieved everything a God-honouring woman should want: a husband who loves you dearly, a white picket fence, and the certainty of a perfect future together in your new quiet little town. However, a certain pale-faced neighbour reminds you a little too much of the eerie presence that plagues your restless nights.
18+ mdni ⚠︎ smut with plot, gothic horror/thriller, angst, hurt/comfort, small town au, established relationship (jake), vampire/human relationship (sunghoon), implied major character death, religious imagery & trauma, bible quotes, traditional gender roles & marriage, purity culture critique, loss of faith, slightly patronizing partner dynamic, night terrors, ambiguous ending, sexually repressed reader, infidelity, soul bonds, mildly obsessive love, dubcon: sexual coercion (via soul-contract), biting, blood drinking, physical restraint, vampire venom as aphrodisiac, animal death mentioned, predator/prey dynamic, multiple smut scenes, p in v sex, unprotected sex, handjobs, fingering, loss of virginity, slight somnophilia, dacryphilia, choking, rough sex, praise kink, mild degradation kink FEAT. niki as a vampire lore-obsessed teen
wc ⟡ 31.6k
inspo & creds ⟡ thank you so much to my lovely mutual @seongjesdoll who inspired me with their fic right here please go read it! this fic is also heavily inspired by Nosferatu.
a/n ⟡ this is very different from what I usually write but I adored experimenting with horror/thriller as a genre! this idea hit me like a truck months ago. this has been in the works for a while so I’m soso glad to finally share
please note ⟡ if you are uncomfortable with heavy subject matter such as dubcon, horror, death, themes of religion and purity culture… do not read this!
"...in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, do you promise to be faithful? To love him and to honour him all the days of your life?" "I do."
You'd waited for it since you were a young girl. To walk down the aisle, daylight seeping through stained-glass, in a dress of pure white. You'd imagined your hand in his, fingers intertwined, warmly encompassed in safety and certainty—your shared kiss in the chapel, a declaration of your promise not only to him, but to God. A husband, a family, love. The life every good girl prayed for. You prayed for it too, with your hands folded, head bowed, voice steady. But what you imagined most, in the silence after the amen, was the thing no prayer could sanctify. "...But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
Your Sunday school teacher had read the verse aloud with the patient severity of someone delivering a warning she hoped you'd never need. She'd looked at you, it seemed, and said that desire was a seed planted in the heart, that what began as a thought could grow into something monstrous, that a woman who let lust take root would one day reap a harvest of ruin. You'd nodded, hands neatly folded on the desk, terrified by the image of something dark and living growing inside you. You'd tried not to think about the heat already stirring in places you had no name for, the tiny seed you could already feel pressing against the soil of your heart, waiting to split open.
The truth was that while other girls spoke of their desires for true love, for the miracle of childbirth, and motherhood, you desired something too shameful to say aloud. Your mind always drifted to the impure. Instead of exchanging vows, you dreamed of how your future husband would lay you down the night after your wedding. You'd thought of how his hands would feel pressed against your bare skin, always hidden under long skirts and sleeves—his lips, worshiping you in places no good girl should dream of. How he'd relieve that ever present ache between your legs that never seemed to dissipate and claim your innocence. You'd thought of it so much, it began to rot you from the inside.
Many times, you'd held back tears during Sunday service, ashamed of the filth that plagued your mind in the holy place of worship of all places. The hymns would rise around you—Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus Deus Sabaoth—and you'd mouth the words while your thoughts drifted to the heat of an imagined touch, the weight of a body you'd never felt. You'd clench your thighs beneath your Sunday dress and beg God, silently, desperately, to scrub your mind clean.
In your sleepless nights, to avoid temptation, you'd rise from the bed, hands clasped together in prayer before your bedroom window. You'd leave it wide open, in hopes that the frigid wind would cool down the heat inside you. And though you trembled in your nightgown, goosebumps on every surface of your skin, it could never quite quell the fire that never burned out.
At first, you prayed for it to stop. You prayed for purity. Then, you prayed for numbness, believing you'd rather feel nothing at all. Alas, God granted neither, and you began to question which of the two dawning terrors was more catastrophic: the possibility that He wasn't listening at all, or the possibility that He simply did not care.
You knelt until your knees were bruised, you whispered prayers until they turned into sobbing pleas for mercy. There was only so much you could take until you began to lose faith—not just in God, but in yourself.
It was only then, in a moment of desperation, of utter helplessness, that you pleaded for something else:
"I beg of you," you whispered into the night, and whether it reached God, or for something else entirely, you did not care anymore. "If you cannot make this feeling stop, then I beg for relief." Through the white curtains, you felt a presence. There was no face, no silhouette, no sound other than the howling wind. Yet, you looked up, as if to meet someone's gaze. As if something stood there, watching you. A chill ran down your spine, and not as a result of the winter air seeping into your bones. You don't remember a voice. You do, however, remember a silent promise: relief, in exchange for you, eternally. Eternity. You knew what it meant. Heaven. Hell. The soul's unending life before God or in exile from Him. You were old enough to know better. Desperate enough not to care.
Every night, then after, he came to you in dreams. You envisioned bits and pieces: a tall silhouette, cold fingertips, an ever-present stare. You saw visions of your own blood dripping down your neck, staining your night clothes. You felt his sharp teeth pierce your flesh as he ravaged you, corrupted you, made a sin of your body and had you begging for more every single time.
Your eyes rolled back in ecstasy, your fingers curled around your bedsheets, and when it finished, you awoke in a cold sweat. You, alone. Your window, closed. And your body, still untouched, still sacred despite the obscene wetness between your thighs, and the way your body trembled from the aftermath of your high.
Relieved, you were, to no longer repress your lustful urges. Horrified, you were, to realize you'd given into your darkest desires, pleasure coaxed out of you by the hands of something sinister.
"Look at you. My beautiful wife." Jake hovers atop you, the cross at his neck hovering just above your face. Everything was as god intended. Two untouched children of the lord, about to make love on their marital bed, in a home they should hope to raise a family in. For the first time in many nights, the moonlight didn't feel so unholy. "My beautiful husband," you mirror his adoration, heart beating so fast you fear it might leap out of your chest. "I love you." His fingers lace with yours, his palms clammy and shaking. He's nervous, as are you. He'd told you as much before you even reached the bed. "I love you, too," he whispers.
He leans down to kiss you, different from the kiss you shared in the chapel. No longer did you have to settle for quick, chaste pecks. You feel his tongue, his desperation, years of pent-up desire reaching its limit.
Hand still interlocked with yours, he enters you slow and restrained, a gasp leaving his lips, as it does yours.
Everything is as it should be. As God said it should be. You should be overcome with joy. The world should still around you, heaven should open, and some sacred part of you should be remade forever.
It doesn't. The reality is much quieter. A body receiving another body, and nothing more.
Instead, you feel discomfort—sharp and immediate. And it’s not just the physical kind that mothers warn their daughters about before their wedding nights. Your skin crawls, your stomach tightens, and suddenly the world is collapsing. Everything aches. Your head, your heart, the space between your thighs where your body refuses to yield, refuses to feel, refuses to let you forget even for a moment that you belong to something else.
You can't help but think that your husband, basking in his euphoric glow, deserves someone untainted.
Tears stream down your cheeks before you can choke them back, and at the immediate sight of it, he pulls out of you. Cradling you in his arms, he soothes you, gently asks if he’s hurt you. If there’s anything he can do. You shake your head, your sobs turning to whispered apologies.
He holds you close all night, and you cling to him like you're trying to crawl under his skin, hoping Jake will shield you from the inevitable terrors of the night. Because you know, deep down, even after all of this, you'll still feel its presence in your dreams. Its cold, harsh grasp, its teeth, its predatory gaze.
But tonight, the boundary between dream and waking feels thin. As you lie awake, Jake softly snoring at your side, you feel it. That presence. That feeling you've never been able to explain, something better described as an instinct or a sixth sense. Through the window, half-lidded and drifting, you search for reassurance. Instead, you find a pair of eyes in the dark. A shadow, watching you. You jerk upright, heart hammering, but in the blink of an eye, with a flicker of movement, you find nothing.
“Sweetheart?” You hear Jake's groggy voice at your side, an arm tugging at yours, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just…” Your breath rises and falls, watching the tree branches drift with the howling wind, watching the snow pile up on the edge of the window. “Thought I saw something.”
He pulls you back down to the bed, kisses pressed to the back of your neck. You allow yourself to relax in his arms, the weight of slumber pulling you under.
You make it through the night. You always do. And this time, you wake up in a pair of warm, loving arms, rather than the shivering cold of your childhood twin bed, which you'd been accustomed to for years. You're thankful at least that in spite of your nightmares, your husband is a daydream.
A week was all you had for a honeymoon, if you could even call it that.
You'd told each other you didn't need a vacation. A honeymoon seemed frivolous when you already had everything you wanted: a house, a ring, a future together. You told each other there would be time for travel later. You have forever, after all.
So, straight into your new home you were, ready to build your life together. Your two weeks of time together were mostly spent unpacking boxes and pretending to help your husband build IKEA furniture. Really, you were mostly there to gawk at how attractive he looks when he gets mad at poorly designed instruction manuals.
Though the time slips through your fingers, and suddenly there are no more late mornings tangled in his arms, slow afternoons with nowhere to be, and evenings fumbling in the dark, learning the strange and sacred shape of intimacy.
You'd come to depend on the safety of his presence, the way his breathing beside you kept the dreams at bay. Selfishly, desperately, you did not want to lose it.
"Please don't leave," you whine like a child, rising from the bed.
He adjusts his tie in the full-length mirror at the corner of your bedroom, and your hands snake around his waist from behind, fingers clawing into the fabric of his shirt. You bury your face into his back, just breathing in his presence before you knew it'd inevitably slip away.
"And miss my first day at the office?" He chuckles, an amused smile playing at his lips.
Finished with his tie, he takes your hands, twirling you once before pulling you against him. His mouth finds your neck, then your jaw, then your lips. You melt into the shape of him, this body you're still learning, still marvelling at. But he pulls away all too soon.
"I can't support my wife and our future kids if I get myself fired."
"I know," you pout, following him out of the room, into the hall, hand still grasping his. "But what am I supposed to do here all alone?"
The question is smaller than the fear beneath it. While it is true that here, alone in a new neighbourhood without any real housework to be done yet, you're at a loss with what to do with your time, you both know the real reason why you're gripping his fingers like a child at the school gates: Your terrors, your anxieties and your skittish nature, once soothed and coddled by your parents, had now become Jake's responsibility to tend to, and you are petrified of being alone with your thoughts for the first time in your life.
"You could call your family?" He glances back at you as you both descend the stairs, his hand sliding along the banister.
"My mom has called me every day since the wedding," you deadpan.
He huffs a laugh and turns into the front hall. You reach the coat rack before he does, fetching his coat while he sits on the bench to lace his boots.
"You could go into town?"
"By myself?" You try to make it sound like a joke. It doesn't work.
He stands. You hold the coat open behind him, and he slides his arms in with a small, grateful sound. Then his gaze drifts past you, through the glass of the front door, to the house across the street. A mother is sending her children off, their school bags bright against the white, snowy morning.
"What if you go around and meet the neighbours?"
It isn't a terrible idea. In fact, trying to make new friends in the neighbourhood is what you should be trying to do, as a new couple looking to start their life there. And though ideally, you'd prefer to have your much more socially competent husband alongside you to do the task, you suppose it's about time you start facing your fears alone.
One messy kitchen and a batch of cookies later, you're wrapping up a small bag for each house on your small, quiet street, smiling behind your wool scarf as you ring the bell to the house across the street.
The first house is easy. A middle-aged couple, grateful and brief. The second is an elderly man who mistakes you for a door-to-door salesman. The third, a woman with six cats and one furious white Persian that hisses at you through the screen door until you retreat.
It all blurs together until you reach the end of the street, with only one bag and one house remaining.
You'd be lying if you said you hadn't saved this house for last. Something about it triggered that feeling inside you that you'd grown used to. A dark curiosity that you'd come to fear.
It isn't just the architecture either. Every home on this street is old. That was part of the appeal, why you and Jake had chosen to live here. You preferred something real, something with history. This one, however, feels like the kind of history you don't want to pry into. The kind of spookiness that children sense from the sidewalk and dare their friends to go up to, just to knock on the door and run before anyone answers.
It towers over the neighbouring roofs as if to assert its dominance, shouldering them aside. You don't like the way the entire premise was encompassed by a black, metal gate, and you like it even less now as the sun begins to set—one of the many unfortunate parts about winter; how the sun sets late afternoon, allowing the dark to creep up on you too soon. You hate the dark.
It's all just in your head, surely. Every house in this neighbourhood has an older look and feel, and you're certain that the people living in there are nothing but normal—perhaps even kind. All you have to do is ring the bell, give them the cookies, and leave. It's no big deal.
You nearly laugh at yourself out loud. You're a grown adult, for god's sake, there is no reason to be scared.
With a falsely confident stride, you push past the gates, walking across a jagged cobblestone path. Though you tremble with each step.
Something doesn't feel right, but you remind yourself it's as real as your nightmares—which is to say, not real at all. Your nightmares, the years of psychological torment, it's all in your head. It always has been.
With the sun just about dipping below the horizon, you ring the doorbell, standing before the heavy double doors. You then knock and, for a second, you are relieved to hear nothing back until the doors open with a loud groan. Though you don't see anyone at all, eyes carefully scanning the dimly lit entryway. Your hands curl around the bag in your hands.
"Hello?" You call out, not yet taking a step. "I'm the new neighbour from across the street.”
Silence.
“I… I made cookies.” Your voice echoes into the hall, and you swallow your nerves. “But, if you don't want to be bothered, I totally understand. I can just leave here and be on my way."
You wait a few seconds, hovering in the doorway, and the silence stretches.
You want to leave. Every part of you is screaming at you to turn on your heel and run far, far away. But they'd opened the door for you. You'd made your presence known already. You're standing right there with the cookies in your hand, for God's sake. You can’t just leave now.
Briefly, you wonder what Jake would do. He'd probably walk in with a confident stride and a smile. He'd charm them easily, have them laughing in minutes and get swept up in conversation for hours.
Stupid, you think. You're fine. Completely fine. Just go inside.
You glance around again. The shoe room is empty, save for a small table that stands just beside the door, close enough. And in a split second, you devise your plan: You’ll set them down and immediately leave with your obligations fulfilled, and avoid seeming like a rude, doorbell-ditching neighbour. It’s perfect. Foolproof. Simple.
You step forward, arm extending toward the table, already planning your retreat.
Then the door slams shut behind you.
"Welcome."
The voice comes from directly behind you. You spin, a strangled sound catching in your throat, and there he is—a silhouette pooled in the darkness beside the doorframe, so close you don't understand how you missed him. He must have opened the door. He must have been standing there the whole time, shielded by the shadow of the door, watching you step past him.
"My apologies," he says, stepping aside, the candlelight giving you a proper view of his face. "I've just woken up, and my eyes are sensitive to the sun. I did not mean to startle you,"
Though your heart is pounding through your chest, and you feel like your legs will give out at any moment, you are oddly comforted by his the sight of him. A young man, tall and pale, not much older than yourself and quite strikingly beautiful. You've never seen his face before, though you think it looks strangely familiar, as if you've known him a long time. You’re staring. And though you are aware of it, you don’t tear your gaze away.
"Are these for me?" He looks down at your hand, where you hold your cookies close to your chest.
Wordlessly, you nod, extending your hand. Though you don't expect him to lower his head, his face dipping towards your outstretched hand, the tip of his nose barely grazing the pulse at your wrist.
He inhales.
The sound is soft, barely audible, and his eyes close for a fraction of a second.
They open again, and they find yours, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. There’s a sharpness to his gaze, and it cuts straight through the cold, a dull, traitorous warmth blooming in your lower stomach.
"Smells delicious."
"Thank you," you squeak, shrinking under his gaze.
"My dear," his head tilts, brows furrowing, "You're trembling. You must've been out in the cold a while."
"Yes, well..." You glance toward the door. "Well, I—"
"I would hate to send you back out there." He takes the bag from your hands before you can finish, the motion smooth, unhurried. "Why don't you stay for tea?"
"Oh! Gosh, no, I couldn't possibly impose—"
"I insist."
As if he were commanding you, you find yourself staying, seated on an old-looking couch, the fireplace cackling, warming your chilled hands. Though it does nothing to ease your trembling. The grandfather clock in the corner ticks every second.
Soon, a small teacup is set down in front of you, as he pours both of you a cup from the pot. You look up as he sits himself across from you, face to face, and your palms dig into the couch cushion.
"I must admit, I'm quite delighted to have a visitor," he crosses one leg over the other, his posture upright, poised. It makes you straighten yourself out, embarrassed by your poor manners. "It's been a very long time. You said you moved here across the street?"
"Ah, Yes. My husband and I just moved." You raised your hand to show your ring finger. "Actually, we also just got married."
"Newlyweds. Congratulations," his voice is smooth, "What made the two of you move here?"
"Well, we're not from too far. Just across the southern river. And we looked at houses closer to home but... Something about this neighbourhood felt right. So we decided to start our life here." you smile briefly at the memory, "It's quieter here. Better for raising children—well, eventually, of course. Hopefully."
You falter, the mention of children suddenly feeling far too intimate for a conversation with a man you met three minutes ago. There's a brief, expressionless pause before his mouth curves into a smile.
"It is a nice neighbourhood." He hums in agreement, "Very safe."
"Exactly."
The conversation lulls, and you use the moment to glance around the room. It's grand, immaculate, every piece of furniture polished to a dark gleam. There's no clutter. No photographs on the mantle. No second mug drying on the drainboard. The silence of the house surrounds you, deep and undisturbed.
Your eyes drift back to him. His hands were folded neatly around his teacup. Pale, long-fingered, ever so still. No ring.
It catches you off guard. A man like this, who is wealthy, well-spoken, and irrefutably beautiful in a way that makes your stomach feel strange, and yet he lives alone in a house like this. There should be a wife. There should be children.
Unless there's something wrong with him.
The thought surfaces before you can stop it. You're being judgmental. He's been nothing but polite. He invited you in from the cold. He made you tea. If he's a bachelor, that's his business. Maybe he's shy, maybe he prefers solitude, maybe he's simply never found the right person.
You don't ask. A married woman doesn't comment on another man’s status. The whole line of thought is dangerous, a door you shouldn’t open.
His eyes are on you now, steady and watchful. Too watchful.
You drop your gaze to your untouched teacup to distract yourself, and the grandfather clock ticks.
Then, he laughs. Sheepishly, you watch as he takes a sip of his tea.
"I did not poison it, I promise,” he says, setting the cup down with a clink.
"Oh!" You gape, "No, no. I did not think—I mean, I did not mean to offend you, Mr. ...?"
"Please, call me Sunghoon."
"Sunghoon, then," you let out a sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm easily startled or, as my husband would say, 'a bit of a scaredy-cat,' but I really do appreciate you inviting me in."
"No offence taken. I understand. This is a pretty scary house," he laughs lightly, his voice dropping ever slightly, "and you are a vulnerable young lady."
You laugh nervously at his last comment, certain that he intended well. But it only makes you feel uneasy. Instinctively, your hand goes to the dainty cross at your neck. A habit you'd developed over the years.
"That is to say, you have every right to have your suspicions. And if I were your husband, I wouldn't take your safety so lightly." You don't miss the way his eyes move from you, down to your neck, "He is a very lucky man."
His eyes remain on your throat. You can feel them there, cool and steady, like a fingertip resting just above your pulse. The cross seems to warm under his attention—or perhaps that's your skin, flushing with a heat you don't want to name. Your fingers stay wrapped around the little gold chain, clutching it as if it can shield you from something you can't quite see.
Stop it, you tell your body. Stop it, stop it, stop it.
You hold it so tightly the edges bite into your palm. A penance. A reminder. You are a woman of God. You are pure. You are—
"A woman of faith, I see."
The fire pops, and a log shifts, sending a shower of sparks up the chimney. You flinch. He doesn't react. In fact, you aren't sure that you've seen him move at all, his body as still as a statue.
"Of course," you reply as naturally as you can sound, "...aren't you?"
"If I say I am not," he raises a brow, "What then?"
You pause, drawing a breath that feels too shallow and force your lips into something resembling a smile.
"Well," you swallow, "God did say to love your neighbour."
"Ah, Mark twelve, verse thirty-three." Sunghoon's smile doesn't waver. "To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbour as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."
The verse hangs in the air, complete and precise, and the tension in your shoulders eases, if only a little.
"So you are a believer."
"I believe in many things." His voice is soft, almost musing. "I believe in life after death. I believe in sinners and saints. I believe some of us, while we may try to convince ourselves otherwise, do not belong in the light."
He then pauses, and you swear you watch his smile curl into something wicked, before he continues.
"I believe prayers can be answered. Especially the ones laced with shame, whispered breathlessly in the night."
Your teacup rattles, the sound too loud in the quiet room. You set it down, but your fingers are shaking so badly the porcelain nearly slips. The cold that has been hovering at the edges of you since you walked through the door now settles deep in your bones.
You look at Sunghoon, your eyes meeting his lingering, far too intense stare. The horrible ache inside of you, the one you've come to know all too well, the one that has haunted your dreams for years, begins to wake from its slumber.
Something is wrong. His demeanour. The way he doesn't seem to breathe or blink or move at all. His presence. The way he looks at you like he owns you, and how that look makes your thighs clench, an inexplicable heat overtaking you.
You nearly jump out of your skin when the grandfather clock strikes the sixth hour.
"Oh!" You laugh nervously, an attempt to conceal the small yelp that escaped you. "Look at the time! I should really go."
"So soon?"
"Yes! My husband should be arriving soon, so..."
You are scrambling for the door, heart thumping in your chest as he follows close behind. Picking up the pace, you grab your coat from the rack near the door. But before you can grab the knob and swing the door open, you feel his presence behind you, cold and seemingly lifeless. You turn.
"It was lovely meeting you," he takes your trembling hand in his, "I hope to see you again, soon."
He lifts your hand as if to kiss it. Though he doesn't. Not yet.
You hear the soft sound of an inhale, barely there, but unmistakable, a slow, shuddering breath. His eyes flutter half-closed, and you blink, frozen in fear, wondering for a brief second if your mind is playing tricks on you, or if he really just sniffed you like some kind of animal.
He then kisses your hand, his lips just barely grazing your knuckles, featherlight. You should feel horror. You should feel disgust. Both are there, you suppose, but beneath it lies something far more shameful.
In the still, empty silence, you let out the tiniest, neediest whimper.
It lingers long enough for both of you to process what exactly you had just done.
He looks up at you through his lashes with a grin, like the most beautiful predator you'd ever laid your eyes on. And, though you can't quite tell in the dim candlelight, you think the canines peeking out the edge of his smile look rather sharp.
With that look permanently etched into your mind, you run. No other words exchanged, no farewell. You’re sprinting back down the street to your place, as fast as your feet can take you, not sparing a single glance behind.
A sigh of relief, though it sounds more like a sob, escapes you when you see Jake’s car in the driveway.
Your hands tremble so violently the keys skitter against the lock, and when the door gives, you throw yourself inside, slam it shut, press your spine to the wood like you're holding back a flood. You breathe in and out. In and out. Chest rising and falling with every breath. Exactly how Jake had taught you to do every time your fears crept up on you too quickly.
"Jake?"
The house is completely dark, and only the silence whispers back. You take off your boots, your coat, throwing them to the side without care as you move. The floorboards creak beneath your feet, and the panic you had only just quelled begins to rise again.
"Jake, where are you?" You try again, this time a bit louder.
You check the living room. The dining room. The kitchen. Then, on shaky legs, you carry yourself upstairs, hand sliding against the railing as you make your way to the bedroom. Still, not a soul to be found. Your hands grip the doorway, nails digging into the wooden frame as you choke down your heavy breaths, blinking away the tears that threaten your eyes.
A pair of arms wrap around you from behind, and the scream that leaves you is almost inhuman.
"It's just me!"
You thrash around in his grasp, and Jake immediately lets go.
He steps back, palms raised, face slack with shock and guilt. You're shaking violently now, heaving as a single tear falls from your eyes.
"Just me, sweetheart." His voice drops, taking your hand in his and guiding you to the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have scared you like that. That's my fault, I'm—"
You don't let him finish. You collapse into him, and he catches you without hesitation, his arms folding around your trembling form as you curl into his lap. He presses his lips to the crown of your head.
"Don't ever do that again."
"I won't." He murmurs into your hair, "Cross my heart, I never will."
You're sobbing into his chest as he whispers I'm sorries and I love yous—Over and over, until the words blur into a rhythm as steady as his heartbeat beneath your ear. You latch onto him like he's your lifeline. He is warm and solid and alive, and you cling to him with a desperation that should embarrass you but doesn't.
Only when your breathing steadies do you finally find the strength to speak.
"I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too."
"I missed you more." Your voice cracks on the last word, and you feel the tears threatening again.
"Shh. It's okay. I'm right here. It's okay." He smooths a hand down your hair, your back. "What happened, sweetheart? Did something happen? Why were you outside?"
"I..." you trail off, unsure how to even proceed as you sniffle. "I went to meet the neighbours... and... the house at the corner. The man there, he..."
It sounds ridiculous when you try to rationalize it in your head, and would probably sound even more ridiculous if you tried to say it out loud.
Sunghoon didn't technically do anything wrong. He only looked at you in ways that made you feel wrong. He said some things that could be interpreted as threatening, though he said it in a polite tone. He kissed your hand and had maybe sniffed you, if you even remember it properly, or if that's just your terrified, panicked brain making things up. He also made you whimper, but that certainly isn't something you can tell your husband.
The memory of it makes you let out another sob, feeling utterly pathetic and ashamed in his arms.
"Hey, talk to me," his voice drops, "What did he do?"
Swallowing your guilt, you pick up the pieces of the truth you can stomach to say aloud.
"The way he was looking at me, it was—he kissed my hand, and—" you stammer, "I don't know. I don't know how to explain."
You can feel Jake exhale.
"Okay," he says calmly, matter-of-factly, taking in the information, "A creepy neighbour tried to hit on you? Is that it?"
Hitting on you. The phrase doesn't quite capture the feeling of being hunted, like a lamb who wandered aimlessly within a predator's reach.
You don't correct him, though. You nod your head, breathing heavy into his grasp as he smooths down the back of your head, holding you tight.
"I'm sorry," you feel the vibration of his voice against his chest. "You want me to talk to him? Scare him off, a bit?"
You picture that predatory gaze, the eyes of something sinister—something demonic. Then you look to your husband: warm and bright and too good for this world. Your husband is the safest, strongest, and most capable man you know. Still, you are strangely terrified at the thought of letting him go there alone.
"I just want you to stay here. With me." You say, simply, "That's all I want."
"I'll always be here. Forever," he hums, circling your wedding ring, dragging your palm flat along his chest until it rests just above his heart, "That's what I promised to you. 'Til death do us part."
You close your eyes. You try to let the steady thrum of his heartbeat drown out everything else. Safe, you tell yourself. I'm safe. He's here. I'm safe.
It doesn't work. What exactly are you safe from? From a man who only looked at you? From a feeling that had started long before you ever set foot in that house?
The heat is still there, coiled low in your belly, waiting. It doesn't care that you're in your husband's arms. It doesn't care that you want it gone. It's been awakened, and it won't be going back to sleep.
You press your thighs together. You're still hot. Too hot. Jake doesn't notice right away, holding you in his arms, his hand still covering yours above his heart.
Your husband pulls back, cupping your face in his hands.
"You're burning up." He says gently, brows furrowed in pure-hearted concern. "You're really warm. Are you getting sick? You were out in the cold for a while, weren't you?"
You open your mouth to answer, but he beats you to it.
"Maybe we should just order takeout tonight. You should rest. I'll warm you a bath, and we can rent a movie. How does that sound?" His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, his eyes searching your face for clues he doesn't know how to read. "I can call in sick tomorrow, and—"
"Jake."
Your eyes drop to his lips. You're still curled in his lap, your breath shallow, your thighs pressed together beneath your skirt. It takes him a second or two for his expression to shift.
Your mouth is on his before he can speak, hot and heavy, desperate to suppress the dark, deviant desire that refuses to leave you alone. You can't help yourself. Not when you're sitting in his lap like this, your arousal and guilt unrelenting.
He goes rigid, a startled sound catching in his throat. This isn't how you kiss. You never kissed him like this before you were married, and you certainly hadn't after, either.
Every night you've shared so far has been nothing but gentle and loving, always handling you with the care one would give a porcelain doll. He had learned of your fragility and your fears long before he ever learned your body, and made love to you the only way he knew how: carefully, tenderly. As if your pleasure was a gift to be earned and not a hunger you already carry.
Tonight, though, you kiss him with the kind of hunger a sexually repressed Catholic boy can only dream of—the kind he was taught to repent for, to pray away. You moan against his lips, the sound raw and almost wounded, clawing open his shirt and grinding against his hips like it's the only thing you need right now.
"Hey—hey, slow down." His hands close gently over yours, stilling them. His eyes search your face, wide and careful. "We don't have to—are you okay? You were just crying, and I don't want you to feel like—"
You shake your head. All you want is that horrible ache inside you to be gone, fucked away by the man you love, the man you married. You pull your hands free and push him back onto the bed. He goes willingly, propped on his elbows, still watching you with that tender, uncertain concern.
"Baby, I'm serious." Jake's voice cracks. His hands hover at your waist, twitching and uncertain. "I don't need—ah—are you sure you want this right now?" The words tumble out of him, broken and breathless, even as his hips rise to meet yours. His body knows what it wants. His mind is still catching up. "You don't have to do this for me—"
"It's for me." Your voice is low, almost like a growl, and his eyes widen.
You reach for the hem of your own dress first and pull it over your head. The fabric catches for a moment on your ear, on your elbow, and the clumsiness of it makes you want to scream. Then it's gone, discarded somewhere on the floor, and you're working at the clasp of your bra while Jake stares up at you with parted lips and dawning disbelief.
He reaches up again, hand hovering a moment before moving to yours, trying to still or slow your moments, but this time you slap them away. Your hands make quick work of his pants, as you do your own, and without a second to spare, you're staring down at his half-hard length, holding the weight of him in your clumsy, still inexperienced hand. You carefully watch his expression, brows knitted, lips parted, and when you tighten your grip ever slightly as you stroke him, he's thrusting up into your hand.
"Shit." He breathes.
You shift forward, lining him up with your entrance. Your underwear is still on—you realize this too late, and the awkwardness of shoving the damp fabric aside makes your face flush. But you don't stop. You sink down onto him, and the stretch steals your breath.
You sigh at the stretch, not used to taking all of him so quickly—not used to being on top, either, and your eagerness momentarily subsides, taking a moment to adjust. Then, with the awkwardness you'd expect of two adults who only started having sex a few weeks ago, you start to move, hands pressed down against his chest. He gazes up in awe, hands twitching at his sides before moving to your hips.
"Holy shit," he manages, the words repeating in broken moans, desperately containing himself from falling apart right there as he watches you, his gorgeous wife, take him with a newfound hunger. He looks wrecked already, his jaw tight with the effort of holding back. "If you keep moving like that—"
His hands tighten, slowing you. He's trying to pace you, trying to protect you from yourself, and the unbearable, oblivious tenderness of it is the last thing you can stand.
"Jake." Your voice comes out sharp, breathless, a frown tugging at your lips. "For God's sake. I'm not going to break. Just fuck me."
There's a moment of pure shock that lingers, and he goes still. Very still. A part of you almost regrets it. Maybe you frightened him. Maybe you've shown a side of yourself that you were never supposed to show, and now he'll never look at you the same.
He exhales a long, shaky breath.
His hands slide from your hips to your waist, then down to your thighs, gripping with an ownership he's never allowed himself before. He thrusts up into you once, testing, and when you gasp, he does it again. Harder. Your head falls back. A moan spills from your lips, and the sound seems to unlock something in him. "Fuck," he breathes. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves you, setting a rhythm that is no longer careful, no longer restrained. You try to match it, but you're still clumsy, still learning, and after a few desperate, off-beat thrusts, he makes a low sound in his throat and flips you onto the mattress.
Your face falls into the pillow. His hand presses between your shoulder blades, arching your back, and then he's inside you again—deeper this time, fuller. The moan you let out is almost a sob. He pulls back and slams into you, and you feel the curve of his grin against the shell of your ear.
"You like this?" His voice is low, but still laced with that concern he always wears. There's a genuine curiosity to his question, a disbelief that lingers. "You like it rough?"
"Please," your desperate voice is muffled in the pillow, "harder, please."
He makes a sound, something between a laugh and a guttural groan, and his hand spreads warm across the small of your back.
"Look at you," he murmurs, almost to himself. "God, look at you. My wife."
He pulls back slowly, letting you feel every inch of him leaving you, and the anticipation is its own kind of torment. When he thrusts back in, it's deep and full, and the gasp you let out is his name. He does it again. And again.
His hand fists the sheets beside your head. His forehead drops to the curve of your neck.
"Fuck—" His voice is ragged, almost disbelieving. "You're really—I can't—"
His thrusts grow deeper, harder, his hand pressing into the arch of your back as he drives into you with an indulgence he's never allowed himself. You can feel the tension, the pressure building. His name falls from your lips in fragments, and he answers with his body—faster, deeper, more.
"That's it," he breathes, and the pride in his voice is new, too. He's proud of this. Proud of what he's doing to you. Proud of you. "I've got you."
You clench around him, crying out when he hits that spot inside you just right, clawing at the pillows beneath you. The orgasm seizes you and doesn't let go, and he feels it. Every pulse, every shudder. His rhythm falters and then breaks entirely.
His voice cracks, high and wrecked, and he buries himself to the hilt and stills, his whole body going rigid against your back. Then he's coming, too. Deep inside you, his hips jerking with each pulse, his groan a long, ragged thing that vibrates through you. He keeps thrusting, fucking his cum back into you, riding it out until he's shaking, until he's spent, until his forehead drops to the nape of your neck and his breath comes in great heaving gasps against your sweat-damp skin.
For a long moment, neither of you moves. He's still inside you, and you can feel his cum between your thighs, still draped over you, his chest pressed to your back so you can feel the hammer of his heart. Your body hums. The world is quiet. The only sound is your breathing, slowly finding the same rhythm.
Then he laughs.
It starts as a breathless little thing against your neck, almost disbelieving, until it blooms into something utterly delighted. His arms slide around your waist, and he pulls you with him as he rolls onto his side, still buried inside you, his face pressed to the curve of your shoulder.
"Who are you," he breathes, "and what have you done with my wife?"
He's grinning. You can feel it against your skin. His hand is flat across your stomach, holding you close, and he presses a kiss to the crook of your neck.
"Seriously. What was—what's gotten into you?"
You turn in his arms, just enough to see his face. He's flushed, pleased, his eyes half-lidded and warm.
You snuggle into his chest, pressing your cheek to the warm plane of his sternum, and his arms fold around you automatically.
"Missed you," you whisper.
"Clearly." The word is thick with satisfaction, his voice still rough and low. He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. "Must've been real lonely, huh? Waiting for me to come home."
“Never leave again. Please."
He laughs softly, pulling you tighter against his chest. The sound rumbling through his chest beneath your ear. His hand moves in slow, soothing strokes down your spine.
"Sweetheart, if this is what I come home to, you couldn't drag me out that door." He presses a kiss to your hair. "I'll quit tomorrow. Become a stay-at-home husband. Live right here in this bed forever."
His breathing deepens, slows. His hand stills on your back. Within minutes, he's asleep, his lips still curved in the ghost of that grin, his body warm and heavy and trusting against yours.
You don't sleep. You can't. The satisfaction is already fading, replaced by the old familiar ache—a low thrum beneath the surface, waiting. You know the dreams will come tonight. You know what waits for you in the dark. But for now, you let yourself be held. For now, his heartbeat under your ear is louder than the guilt. For now, that's enough.
Like clockwork, the dream arrives. Tangled in your husband's arms, you glance to the window, feeling that same presence you always do, tainting your mind with lustful images you could not escape.
Except that tonight, the shadow has a face.
You've never seen a face in your dreams before. For years, the presence has been nothing but sensation—cold hands, sharp teeth, a voice without sound. A silhouette at the edge of your sleeping vision, tall and still. Never eyes you could look into.
Sunghoon's face materializes out of the dark. First the eyes, dark and depthless, then the sharp planes of his face, then the mouth that curved against your knuckles and made you whimper. He looks exactly as he did in the candlelight. Beautiful. Predatory. Waiting.
Why him? You wonder, visions of his lips at your neck invading your mind. Why now?
Though in your dreaming state, you don't have much time to ponder such questions. You're too consumed by the image of those sharp canines that you swore you saw, sinking into your flesh, his hands wandering the length of your body. You don't flinch. In the dream, you arch toward him. You offer him your neck. You come undone with his name on your lips, only a whisper in the night.
You wake with a gasp, still tangled in your husband's embrace, slick between your legs. Though Jake doesn't stir. His breathing is deep and even, his body warm and trusting against yours.
The ghost of your dream lingers, and you press your palm to your mouth to hold back the sob building in your chest.
Dawn comes pale and grey through the curtains, but you're already awake. You couldn't go back to sleep, no matter how hard you tried. So you stop trying. You slip carefully from the bed and pad barefoot to the shower.
You rinse yourself under scalding hot water as if scrubbing every inch of yourself could wash the dream away. You fold Jake's work clothes into a neat pile on the dresser—a reminder that you are a loving, faithful wife and not whatever your dreams make you out to be.
In the kitchen, the coffee machine clicks and hisses. You stand at the window with your empty mug in your hands, and before you've made the conscious decision to look, your eyes have found it. The house. His house.
Just looking at it makes your blood run cold.
You can't help but wonder why every curtain remains drawn, despite the large, beautiful windows. You wonder why he mentioned having "just woken up," though you'd visited him late afternoon—almost evening—yesterday. You think of the way he looked at you, sharp, calculated, like a predator who'd caught its prey. And those teeth, which now that you're thinking back, most certainly had to be sharp, like the ones in your dreams.
Curtains drawn. Cold hands. Sharp teeth.
"Morning, baby," Jake's groggy voice is heard from the hallway, heavy footsteps pattering into the kitchen.
You turn to greet your husband with a broken smile. He chases your lips for a kiss, hands at your waist as they slide down the length of your nightgown with a newfound ease—remnants of last night's confidence still lingering in his touch. You jump in his grasp, a sound of surprise caught in your throat, but you both turn your heads at the beep of the coffee machine.
He pours you a cup first, and you try to focus on his words, you really do. However, his complaints of a passive-aggressive boss and abundantly vague emails fall on deaf ears as your hands tighten around the warmth of your coffee mug, eyes unwillingly and unhelpfully drifting to the window every few seconds.
You hear your name on his lips, but only process it once his hand reaches out to rest atop yours.
"You're spacing out." His thumb moves in slow circles over your knuckles, "Everything alright? Or am I just talking your ear off?"
"Just... tired."
"That makes two of us," he smiles, the two of you sharing a playful look. But he's still watching you, still reading the tension in your shoulders. "Talk to me, sweetheart. I'm here."
Your thumb traces the rim of your mug, and then, before you can talk yourself out of it.
"Do you believe in supernatural things?" You start hesitantly, "Not just God, obviously, but... other things...?"
Your husband takes a slow, pensive sip of his coffee.
"This is about your dreams again, isn't it?"
He gives you that look. The same one your mother and father used to give you at the mention of your nightmares. Sympathetic, but doubtful.
You look down, and he sighs, lifting your hand to his lips. The kiss is gentle and warm, though you shudder regardless.
"Remind me. How long have you been having these dreams, again?"
"Years."
"Years," he echoes, "And how many times, in all these years, have any of your dreams ever hurt you? Really hurt you?"
You sigh, shoulders slumping, a quiet relief blooming in your chest at the sight of his easy, gentle smile. The sunrise peeks through the window just enough to cast a golden glow across his face. His brown eyes and honey skin, now illuminated, were warm and familiar like the fresh cup of coffee in front of you that you had yet to touch.
"They haven't."
"Then I think it's safe to say that whatever it is you're afraid of, that's just your extra creative brain coming up with new reasons to freak out." he taps your head, and you roll your eyes, cracking a smile of your own. "None of it is real. It can't hurt you."
You kiss him goodbye at the door, your worries soothed momentarily as you watch his car disappear around the corner. But soon after, as you're reaching into the sink to work on a day-old pile of dishes, you can't help but watch the house at the corner. You watch all morning. Not a single soul exits or enters the home.
The town library is exactly what you'd expect. The air is stiff, the scent of old books and dust, and an old woman behind the front counter glares at you over the rims of her glasses, like she’s waiting for a reason to shush you.
You hadn't meant to come here. You were going to do errands. That's what you told yourself, anyway. But your feet carried you straight past the grocery store and straight through the heavy oak doors of the town library. And now, you wandered aimlessly through the aisles, unsure of what exactly you're looking for.
Dreams. You find a nonfiction book on dreams. You pull it from the shelf and flip to a chapter on nightmares. The author theorizes that our deepest fears materialize in our sleep, that the subconscious paints faces onto the things that frighten us most. A stranger who unsettled you. A presence that made you feel unsafe. The brain takes what it can't process during the day and works through it at night.
It makes sense. It's rational. He frightened you with that unsettling look in his eyes and his words, and your dreams gave him a form. It's a natural psychological response.
Then the book goes on to list common nightmare archetypes. The falling dream. The dream of being chased. The dream of being naked in public. Nowhere does it mention the dream where a stranger touches you between your legs, their lips on yours, then at your neck, or why you might envision them sinking their teeth into your flesh and drinking your blood. Nowhere does it account for the way your body responded.
Snapping the book shut and shoving it back on the shelf, you continue drifting with a little more purpose now. Past Town Records. Past Local Histories. Past a whole shelf of sermon collections by long-dead Reverends. Your fingers trail the spines, but you don't stop.
You turn down a narrow aisle in the back corner, away from the windows, away from the light.
The titles swimming into focus are older, darker, their spines cracked and their pages yellowed. Supernatural Histories. The Undead: A Historical Overview. Vampires Among Us.
Your hand reaches for one before your mind can stop it, failing to notice the pair of legs, long and lanky, stretched across the aisle, which blocks your path.
"Oh—!" You nearly trip, steadying yourself against the shelf.
A teenager is wedged between the shelves and the wall. He doesn't even look up. His head is bowed over a thick, hardcover book that looks older than time itself, and the sound of heavy drums and electric guitar bleeds from the headphones clamped over his ears. His school uniform is rumpled, tie loose, blazer nowhere in sight. His hair is jet-black except for a single bleached strand.
You clear your throat.
Nothing.
You clear it again, louder.
He turns a page.
"Excuse me…." You say a little more sternly this time, hands at your hips. "Shouldn't you be in school...?” You pause, glancing at his open backpack, at the name on his notebooks. "…Niki?"
He takes his time glancing up, eyes dragging over you with the lazy, unimpressed scrutiny only a teenager can manage. He takes in the sensible skirt. The ironed blouse. The cross at your neck. One pierced eyebrow lifts a fraction. He pulls his headphones down to his neck, his music a low hum.
"Shouldn't you be in the erotica section, or something?" He retorts, rolling his eyes.
"What?" You gape.
"Just saying." He gestures vaguely at you. "You've got the whole... repressed housewife look."
"You—" You give up halfway through your sentence, deciding your time shouldn't be spent exchanging comebacks with a boy who hasn't even graduated yet.
He goes back to his book, a ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You step over his legs, which he doesn't move an inch, and try to ignore him, scanning the shelf in front of you until you find the book you had your eyes on before. Locating it, you reach.
"Isn't the occult, like, the devil to you people?"
Your hand stops mid-air, and you turn. He's watching you now, the book in his lap forgotten.
"I'm just looking."
"Sure. Just looking." He closes his book finally, giving you his full attention for the first time, and you immediately wish he hadn't. "Listen, lady. Vampire smut's two aisles down. No judgment. I'm not your pastor."
"I already said—" The flush crawls up your neck. "I'm not—I would never—"
"You'd never," he repeats, flat. "Right. So what are you looking for in this section? A cookbook?"
Your hand is still frozen in the air, fingers hovering over the spine of a book with a lurid, painted cover. A woman in a torn nightgown, fainting into the arms of a dark figure with glowing eyes.
"I wanted to... research something.”
"Research.”
You nod weakly.
He pauses a moment, like he’s analyzing you. Then his whole expression shifts.
"Wait. For real? You're not just messing with me?" His eyes are wide now, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. It makes him appear even younger than he is, his mood brightening with childlike excitement. "You're actually researching vampires? Like, the lore? The real stuff? You're not just looking for sexy billionaire novels?"
"I don't know anything about sexy billionaires—"
"Oh my god." He scrambles to his feet, all gangly limbs and sudden, startling height, and you take an instinctive step back. His face is absolutely alight. "Oh my god, that's sick. That's actually so sick. Nobody in this town cares about this stuff. Everybody here just thinks I'm some freak who—" He stops himself, clears his throat. "Okay. Okay. So. What do you want to know?"
He's already pulling books off the shelf before you can come up with an answer, scanning spines with the practiced eye of someone who has memorized every title.
"Okay, so. First of all, don't touch that one." He jabs a finger at the book you'd been reaching for. "Complete garbage. The guy just makes stuff up. Zero sources."
"You've read it?"
"I've read everything on this shelf." He says it with pride and a slight shrug. He pulls down a thick volume bound in dark blue cloth, its cover embossed with a faded silver symbol you don't recognize. "You want this one. Written by a Victorian occultist. Genuine primary sources. He gets into the super niche stuff most modern books ignore."
"Niche stuff?"
"Yeah, like. The running water barrier—they can't cross it. Like rivers and lakes. Which is wild. And the mirror thing? It's not that they don't have reflections, it's that old mirrors were backed with silver, and silver's purifying. So the reflection was there, just corrupted. Sort of." He's talking faster now, words tripping over each other. "And then there's the soul-contract stuff, which is the real deep lore. Most people don't even know about it."
"Soul-contracts?"
"Oh, you have to hear about this." He grins, clearly delighted to have an audience. "Okay, so—vampires need blood, right? And most of them have to hunt for it. Every meal. Every night. That's a lot of work. So some of them, the older ones, the smart ones, they figured out a more... efficient system."
He flips through the book, looking for a page.
"They find a human who's desperate. Like, really desperate. And they make a deal. The human offers themselves up—their blood, their life force, whatever—and in exchange, the vampire gives them something that they want."
Your stomach tightens.
"Oh! That's..." You struggle to find your words, but force your voice to stay steady. "What kind of something, exactly?"
"Anything. Revenge, protection, a cure for some disease. Whatever the human needs so badly, they'd trade their soul for it." He finds the page, runs a finger down the text. "But the key thing is, the vampire can't just take. The human has to give permission. Willingly. Otherwise, the bond doesn't form. Hence, the contract part of the soul-contract."
"The bond?"
"Yep. The bond is formed only if it is totally, one-hundred percent mutual. The vampire is tied to the human just as much as the human is tied to the vampire. It's not a master-servant thing. It's..." He pauses, searching for the word. "Permanent. The connection can never be broken, like some eternally messed-up, toxic situationship."
Your hand has found the cross at your throat. You don't remember reaching for it.
"What I don't get," he continues, frowning at the page, "is how the whole thing starts. Like, how does the vampire hear the human in the first place? The book says it answers a call. Not literally a call, though. The words are weird. It says: 'A plea uttered from the deepest well of the soul, often in a state of such desperation that it transcends the mortal sphere.'"
"What kind of plea?" Your voice comes out as a whisper.
"Doesn't say exactly. But the book keeps comparing it to..." He squints at the footnote, then pauses, turns the page. "Huh. That's weird."
"What?"
"The language it uses. It says 'a prayer inverted.'" He traces his finger down the margin. "'Not all prayers reach the kingdom of heaven. Some are intercepted by hungrier ears.' Spooky, right?"
You can't breathe.
The cross burns against your palm. You press it harder, trying to ground yourself, but the world narrows to a single point: a memory. Your bedroom window. The winter wind on your wet cheeks. Your knees bruised against the floorboards.
I beg of you. If you cannot make this feeling stop, then I beg for relief.
"Hey." Niki's voice cuts through the static in your head. "You good? You look like you're gonna, uh... hurl. Or pass out."
"I'm fine."
"Yeah, no." He sets the book aside, straightening up, eyes narrowing. "You're definitely not fine. Was it something I said? I have a habit of—I mean, my mom's always telling me I don't know when to shut up, so if I—"
"You didn't do anything." You shake your head, swallowing hard. "I just need some air."
“Wait!”
You step back, your heel catching on the leg he's stretched across the aisle again. You stumble, and he scrambles to his feet, catches your elbow—a quick, awkward gesture.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to—I just—" He pulls back immediately, shoving both hands in his pockets like he's been burned. He drops his voice to a whisper, then he stares straight at you. “You’ve met a vampire, haven’t you?”
You blink.
"No." You shake your head too fast, an unconvincing laugh escaping your lips before you ramble on, "What? No. That’s ridiculous. Vampires aren't real. Aren’t you too old to believe in these things? Please.”
“But—”
“I'm just... I'm bored. And…” You swallow, “I need to get home before my husband is back."
There’s a pause. A long one.
"Oh… I get it.” He gives you a knowing look. “You can't tell anyone. Vampire confidentiality. Right?" He shifts his weight, suddenly looking less like a brooding delinquent and more like a kid who's spent too many lunch periods eating alone. You open your mouth to protest, but he continues. "Then, if you do see one. Hypothetically. Could you... ask something for me?" You take in his wide-eyed, hopeful stare. "The garlic thing. Is it true? Everyone's always arguing about it, but I think it's just complete crap.”
You let out a sigh.
"I'll keep that in mind."
He beams, looking like he’s about to jump up and down with joy, but quickly reins himself in, dropping his voice an octave and shrugging the excitement away. "Cool... cool. Alright. I'll see you later, then, vampire research lady. I'm always here, so come and find me whenever you wanna, like. Hang out or something...You'll come back, right?"
You don't process any of it. Still shaken, you turn and walk. Past the shelves. Past the desk, where the old librarian still watches you with narrowed eyes. Past the heavy oak doors and into the cold, gray afternoon.
Not all prayers reach the kingdom of heaven.
You pull your coat tighter and start walking, not home just yet. You need to let yourself breathe before you go back to the house with the kitchen window that faces his door, before you have to look your husband in the eye and pretend the conversation you just had never happened.
Teenagers believe anything. You tell yourself with every heavy step, fresh snow crunching underfoot. None of it is real. It can't hurt you.
A thick snowfall arrives on a Friday afternoon, the following week. Schools and stores close, and a company-wide email advises everyone to stay inside. Jake stood at the bedroom window when he read it, watching the storm howl past the glass, and felt two things at once: a quiet disappointment that winter is nowhere near its end, and a much louder, much more immediate gratitude that he doesn't have to leave you today.
He's been worried about you. That's nothing new, actually. He's been worried about you since the day you met, when you laughed at one of his jokes only to screech at the sound of a twig snapping under your step two seconds later. He recognized something in you then. To call it skittishness would be an understatement. There was a weight behind your wide-eyed stare. The look of someone who has been carrying something heavy for a very long time and has never asked anyone to help her hold it. You told him about your night terrors a month into the relationship. Sat him down, explained it like a warning, as if it could ever scare him off from pursuing you. He wanted to be the one to help. He still does. It's the quiet purpose of his life.
He was foolishly optimistic back then. The reality of what it means to live with you, alongside your fears, is not an easy responsibility to carry. You smile when you're sad. You deflect when he asks questions. You say I'm fine and change the subject and slide into his lap, and he lets you, because he loves you, because he doesn't always know the right thing to say, and maybe because some part of him is afraid that if he pushes too hard, he'll be devastated to find there's far more he doesn't understand about you than he realizes. He holds you in the ways you ask him to. He soothes your fears without knowing what they are. He plays the role he's resigned himself to—husband, protector, warm body in the dark—and tries not to notice the moments when your eyes go distant, when your hands tremble for no reason, when you stare into nothing like something else is there, staring right back.
It wears on him. He doesn't resent it. He could never resent you. But there are nights when he wakes up beside you, listening to you stir in your sleep and feels a loneliness he can't explain. Sometimes it feels like there is a part of you he cannot reach, a room inside you where he is not invited.
So he does what he can. He goes to work. He comes home. He holds you when you let him. He prays for you, even on the days when his own faith wavers. And when you reach for him, pulling him into bed with that desperate, devouring hunger that has become the new rhythm of your marriage, he gives you everything you ask for. He gives you more. Because in those moments, you are fully present—your attention is on him and not lost somewhere else. In those moments, he is not your caretaker or your protector. He is simply yours.
It's a relief he didn't know he needed. To be wanted. Not needed—wanted. There's a difference.
Jake's always been good at being needed. Being helpful. At smiling, nodding and letting others feel heard. It's something he carried into adulthood. Into his faith. Into his marriage, where his wife's fragility gave him a role he recognized: the steady one. The unneedy one. The one who holds and is never held.
But desire—real, shameless, take-me-now desire—was never something he imagined being on the receiving end of. He was taught that sex was a service a wife provided to her husband. A duty. A kindness. Something to be accepted with gratitude and restraint. He was prepared to be grateful. He was not prepared for you.
These past weeks, you've become something else entirely. You pull him in by the belt before he's shrugged off his coat. You beg him to be rough, to be merciless, to stop treating you like something fragile. The first time you said it, after the initial disbelief subsided, he nearly wept from relief. From the sudden, staggering realization that you wanted him the way he had always secretly wanted you. That the hunger was mutual. That he was allowed to be hungry at all.
He's been enjoying it more than he probably should. He knows that. Some old, stubborn guilt stirs in him every time he pins your wrists above your head, every time he hears you moan his name like a prayer. He used to repent for thoughts far milder than the things you do together now. But the guilt is quieter than it used to be. Quieter than the sound of your breath hitching. Quieter than the way you say harder and please and fuck me right now.
He assumes it's a side effect of your clinginess. You spend all day alone, trapped by the cold, left to the mercy of your own thoughts. Of course, you reach for him the moment he walks through the door. Of course, you want to be touched, held, filled with something other than the silence of an empty house. He's happy to be that for you. He's happy to be whatever you need.
He doesn't understand the whole of you. He'll never understand what keeps you up at night, and why it does. But he understands the curve of your hip, and the sound of your laugh, and the way your body answers his in the dark. And for now, with the snow piled high against the windows and the fire crackling in the next room and you warm and real and wanting in his arms, that is enough. It's more than enough. It's everything he didn't know he was allowed to ask for.
The neglected part of his heart that spent years believing desire was something to be managed, not felt—that accepted loneliness as the price of being steady, that tucked itself away in the front pew and never asked for more—that part is wide awake, and it reaches for you helplessly.
All of that to say is: being holed up with you inside on a cold evening, he does the only thing that makes sense. He finds you in the kitchen, wraps his arms around your waist from behind, and presses his lips to the curve of your neck.
You giggle, leaning back into him, the wooden spoon still in your hand.
"You want me to burn dinner?"
"I want you," He punctuates each word with a kiss to your shoulder, your jaw, then your neck. "Want you all the time. Everyday. Every second."
"You're insatiable." You swat at his arm, but your voice is fond. "And a distraction."
"What's wrong with being distracted?"
"Jake." You roll your eyes, your tone playful but stern, "Go find something else to do."
"Like what?" He pouts, resting his chin on your shoulder, peering down at the pot.
"Maybe, shovelling the driveway?"
He groans. "I'll do that in the—"
"Morning? You sleep like a log. Besides..." You turn in his arms, your free hand coming up to toy with the collar of his shirt, and a suggestive grin tugs at your lips, "You won't have the energy to."
"Oh?" His eyebrows lift, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Well, if that's the case..."
He presses a kiss to your cheek and pulls away.
"Don't miss me too much," He calls out as he makes his way down the hall, dreading having to bundle up for the cold.
"No promises."
He dreads it even more once he's actually outside, scrunching his nose as the icy cold hits him, like little needles against his skin. But seeing you move about the kitchen from where he shovels makes it all worth it. It's always worth it.
He's watched you sleep enough nights to know how hard you fight just to stay still. The way you squirm and pant and clutch at him, sweat beading at your brow, tortured by something he can't see and you can't name. He's learned not to wake you—it only makes it worse. So he holds you instead.
But morning always comes. You always smile at him over coffee, tired and brave, pushing through the day like the night never happened. Like you haven't spent eight hours running from something he can't fight for you.
So, really, the least he could do as a husband was shovel the driveway without complaining. Even if his back was beginning to ache as if he were a middle aged dad. He can clear a path. He can make one thing easier for you, even if it's just the driveway.
"Hello."
Jake lets out an embarrassingly high-pitched scream and nearly topples over into the snow, managing to brace himself with his shovel. He turns, letting out a sigh of relief when his eyes land on the tall, pale-looking man, who greets him with a closed-mouth smile.
"Man, you scared the crap out of me," Jake laughs, which dissolves into nervous laughter when he notices how the man does not laugh with him. He stands still, almost statuesque.
"My apologies. Jake, yes?"
"That's me." He adjusts his grip on the shovel and extends his free hand, tilting his head. "Do we know each other? I'm sorry, I'm terrible with faces."
"Sunghoon." The hand that meets his is cold, even through both their gloves. The grip is brief and precise. "A pleasure. I live at the corner. Your wife made my acquaintance last Monday."
Jake pauses a moment, his hand freezing mid-shake.
The house at the corner. The weirdo. The hand-kissing, too-long-staring, made-you-uncomfortable neighbour you'd come home crying about last week.
His brows furrow at the realization that this was the guy you were talking about. Although he was imagining someone much older and creepier. Not a polished, perfectly composed, and frankly quite handsome—if Jake is being honest—guy his own age.
"You're the neighbour, huh?" Jake deadpans, shoving his shovel into the snow and standing up straight. He looks Sunghoon up and down, taking his time, letting his gaze drag. Sizing him up. He's taller. That's annoying.
"Yes. We had a lovely conversation. I wish to extend my gratitude."
"How kind. But not necessary."
"Oh, but it is."
"But it really isn't."
"I insist."
"Okay. Look, man. I'll give it to you straight," Jake frowns, eyes narrowing, "I know my wife is beautiful and perfect and all. That's why I married her. You got that? So, I think it's best if you leave her alone."
Sunghoon stares, wordless and expressionless, for a moment. Jake holds his ground, though the silence is starting to get uncomfortable. Maybe he'd been too confrontational. Too harsh. Of course, you and your safety are his number one concerns, but from the way the man's face softens so earnestly, the fear of having possibly misjudged the entire situation starts to creep up on him.
"My apologies. It seems I gave you the wrong impression," His tone is bashful and all too disarming, and he clears his throat as he reaches for his pocket. "You see, ever since I lost my wife, I've become a bit of a hermit. But for a pair of friendly neighbours, I thought I might try getting myself out of my shell."
Jake's frown drops. He stands there in the snow, feeling like a complete and total asshole. He'd been ready to defend your honour, all puffed up and protective and righteous, and instead he'd just threatened a lonely widower who was only being kind. His mother would be appalled. His pastor would probably have words: Lord, we lift up Jake, who apparently forgot every single thing we taught him about loving thy neighbor.
Sunghoon extends an envelope, wax-sealed and dignified, held out with a leather-gloved hand.
"Oh." Jake takes it, and the wax seal feels like a personal indictment. "I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't mean to—I wasn't trying to—really, I just—I'm so sorry."
"It was a long time ago." Sunghoon waves him off with a gentle grace that makes Jake feel even worse, somehow. "I take no offence. I was also quite protective in my first year of marriage."
Jake nods, grateful for the absolution, and sighs.
"When you really love someone, it’s like you'd do anything for them. You know. Move mountains. Fight a bear. Or—" He gestures at the shovel, at his own puffed-up posture. "Accost a stranger in your own driveway, apparently."
"It's true." Sunghoon's mouth curves. "I once threatened a man on the street because he looked at my wife too long. She was mortified. I was unrepentant."
Jake laughs. "And she scolded you for it, I'll bet."
"Absolutely." Sunghoon's expression is something fond, something distant. "But you know..."
"The wife is always right," they say in unison.
"But we love them anyway."
"We do."
Jake smiles. It's the first time since moving here that he's felt something like this. The kind of easy conversation he used to have with friends back home, before the marriage, the move, the new job.
Sunghoon. An odd neighbour. He speaks as if he could be from another generation, hands out wax-sealed letters, and lives in a mysteriously large house all on his own.
Jake could understand why it might be off-putting. But Jake also remembers when you used to scream at the sight of your own shadow. When you'd cling to him at social gatherings in college and glare at every person in the room like they were trying to hurt you.
You've always been afraid. Of the dark. Of strangers. Of everything. He's learned to calibrate for it, to filter the world through the lens of your anxiety and adjust accordingly.
It's not intentionally dismissive. He listens. He tries to. But this time, he should've known that when you crawled into his arms crying over a neighbour who only did so much as look at you, that it would be what it always is: another false alarm.
A part of him still ponders what he could possibly mean by "a long time" when the man before him doesn't look a day over thirty. And even if he were, say, in his mid to late thirties... late thirties...? That's still too young to have lost a wife and had plenty of time to get over it. He does not dare to ask, though. You know, considering he's already accused the guy of hitting on his wife. Following that up with so, exactly how long has your dead wife been dead? feels like it might not improve the situation.
Sunghoon's gaze drifts. Past Jake, over his shoulder. Jake follows it to the kitchen window, where the curtain twitches. There's a flash of movement, quickly stilled. You've been watching the entire time.
"She mentioned being a bit timid," Sunghoon smiles a little, gaze torn away from the window. "If not both of you, perhaps just yourself? I would be glad to host regardless."
"He's weird, sure. But he went out of his way to invite us. I think he's just trying to be friendly in his own, you know, awkward sort of way." Jake rambles to himself over dinner. "A lot of the other couples on this block are a lot older than us. It would be nice to make friends with a guy my own age."
The dinner invitation sits open between you on the kitchen table, its wax seal broken, its cursive script elegant and old-fashioned. You stare at the words on the page, and all you can see is the way he looked at you through the window. The slow, knowing smile. The way his eyes had found yours through the glass, like he'd known exactly where you'd be.
"I think we should accept." Jake's tone of voice is unfortunately optimistic. And a part of you cannot believe half of what you're hearing, but the other part of you knows this is who you married: Jake, a man who assumes the best in everyone, who never enters a room expecting danger, who extends undeserved kindness to every stranger he meets. "Worst case, we learn to stay away. Best case, you have nothing to worry about. Either way, it will put your mind at ease."
Put your mind at ease. You nearly snort aloud. As if an evening in that house with that man could do anything but the opposite. Jake doesn't notice. He's already picturing the dinner party, already imagining a new friendship.
"...I'm not sure. Maybe we should think on it."
His smile falters. You know that look. It's the closest Jake ever gets to exasperation.
"Come on." He sets his fork down, and you feel the weight of his stare. "He lost his wife, and he lives in that creepy mansion all alone. Don't you feel a little bit bad?"
You offer no response, picking at your food. He gives you a few seconds, letting the tension-filled silence linger, and when it becomes clear you're not going to budge, he sighs.
"Well." He picks up his fork again, his jaw set with a gentle stubbornness. "You can think on it. I'm going."
"What?" Your fork is clattering against the table. "No. You can't go alone."
He blinks at you, fork hovering halfway to his mouth, his expression caught somewhere between confusion and the beginnings of a laugh. His brow furrows.
"Didn't know I needed supervision." The words come out light, almost teasing, but his eyes are still searching your face. He's trying to find the joke. When the smile doesn't come, the teasing edge fades from his voice. "I'm just going across the street, baby. What do you think is going to happen to me?"
"I'm just being cautious."
"Cautious?” He scoffs, “What, you think he’s an axe murderer or something?”
He waits for you to laugh, to roll your eyes, to admit you're exaggerating.
"Sweetheart.” His voice drops, frustration building up. “Be realistic. Seriously."
"I am realistic. He told me I looked vulnerable. Like it was a threat. Like I was in danger, I...” Your words are tumbling out faster now, more frantic, “He sniffed me. That's not normal, Jake. He—”
“Sure he did.”
It lingers in the air a moment, and you stare, suspended in disbelief at how he’s looking at you as if you are a child describing a monster in the closet.
“You think I’m making it up.”
The dismissal is worse than the doubt. He's not even taking it seriously enough to disbelieve. Your hands are trembling. You press them flat against the table.
"I didn’t mean it like that,” He starts, “Sweetheart—”
“You don’t believe me.”
"I believe…" He stops, taking a moment to reel in his thoughts. He lowers his voice to a tone that's more gentle and patient, acutely aware of how your breathing is growing uneven. "Maybe these nightmares are warping your perception of the people around you. Which is making you act a little judgmental."
He reaches across the table. His palm hovers over your knuckles, an offering. But you swat his hand away before it lands. It's a small gesture, but the impact of it lingers.
"You don't believe me." You repeat.
His frown is no longer patient.
"Do you even believe yourself?"
Jake looks at you, searching for something neither of you can name. For an answer. For understanding. For anything at all. You can't help the shame that creeps up on you, rotting you from the inside.
You don't know what you believe. All you know is that your dreams have a face now. The face lives at the end of your street and has invited you to dinner.
It would be so easy to say you're afraid of him. It wouldn't be a lie. But the truer explanation is also the most shameful: you want your neighbour. You've wanted him since he looked at you in the candlelight and made you feel like prey that was begging to be caught. But admitting that would mean admitting that the rot inside you was never his fault—That all of this has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with the woman you've been trying not to be since you were old enough to know better.
You don't let yourself finish the thought. You never do.
Through the corner of your eye, through the kitchen window, a passing car's headlights reveal the sight of something in your yard. Something red, in contrast to the stark white snow, and you freeze.
"Listen, I’m not trying to argue. I'm really not. I'm just trying to help. You can’t be afraid of every stranger you—"
"I just saw something." The words leave your mouth before you've decided to say them. "Out there."
Jake stops. His eyes follow yours to the window, where the dark has settled back over the yard like a curtain drawn shut. When he looks back at you, his frown is firm.
Holding Jake's hand, you walk with him through ankle-deep snow, his flashlight flickering ever so slightly. The beam is weak but steady enough to catch the trail he's tracking: small animal footprints, evenly spaced, leading toward the hedge at the edge of the yard.
"There," you whisper, though you don't know why you're whispering. "Behind the bush."
He angles the light. For a moment, the snow is just white and clean and untouched. Then the beam catches it. A bright splash of red, vivid against the pale. It's fresh. Still wet.
"Oh my god." Your hand flies to your mouth.
Jake crouches, his jaw tight, and pushes aside the lowest branch. The cat lies curled beneath the hedge, its fluffy white coat matted with blood. Its neck is torn, and two small punctures sit just above the collar, neat, precise, too deliberate to be random. You'd seen it in movies. You'd seen it in the book Niki flipped through at the library.
That night, after Jake calls the old woman across the street and breaks the news that her beloved house pet lies lifeless in your front yard, you find yourself curled up against Jake's chest. Your violent shaking and panicked breathing had now simmered down into quiet breaths and subtle trembling.
"There were no other footprints around."
"Hm?" His voice is thick with the sleep he's been fighting off.
"The cat."
Jake doesn't sigh, but the way his chest rises and falls tells you he was hiding his frustration for your sake.
"It was dark." His hand resumes its slow circles on your back. "We probably just missed it."
"I know what I saw."
"What do you think it was then, hm?" He teases lazily, thoughtlessly. "A scary cat-killing monster with no footsteps?"
He means it as a joke. Mostly. But you don't miss the edge in his voice, how it's sharper than it would have been an hour ago, before the argument at the kitchen table, before the cold trek through the snow to find a dead cat in your yard.
"A vampire."
The word lands in the dark between you and just sits there. Jake goes still. Then, slowly, he shifts upright, disentangling himself from you. The loss of his warmth is immediate.
He looks at you. Really looks at you.
"Okay. What is going on with you?"
"You don't think it could be?" You try, “Two marks, side-by-side, at its neck. What kind of wild animal does that?”
"Is that a serious question?" He blinks at you, "Baby. Look at me. Please tell me you aren't serious."
You don't answer.
This time, he does sigh loudly, and with a small "come here," he's pulling you in his arms again. He settles back against the pillows, tucking you against his chest.
"Let's pretend, hypothetically, that your little conspiracy theories are real. All the vampires and the cat-killing monsters and the creepy neighbours with sharp teeth..." His voice is warm and tired and almost teasing. But mostly just exhausted. "Then I promise I'll protect you from all the big, bad, scary things out there. Okay? Does that make you feel better?"
It should. But all you can think about is the cat beneath the hedge. The two neat punctures above its collar. The way Sunghoon looked at Jake, curious and patient, eyes at his neck when he wasn't looking.
You don't need Jake to protect you. You need him to stay the hell away from that house. You need him somewhere the monster can't reach.
But he won't stay. He's made that clear.
"Jake?"
"Mm?" He's already drifting, the exhaustion finally pulling him under.
"I'll come with you."
You walk the short distance to the house at the corner hand in hand with your husband, his palm warm and steady around yours. The snow has stopped falling, leaving the street hushed and still, though you feel anything but peace. Jake's thumb traces small circles over your knuckles, a nervous habit he doesn't seem to notice.
"You're squeezing," you murmur.
"Am I?" He loosens his grip, shooting you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I just want this to go well."
You know why. It's not just about making a good impression or redeeming himself for the confrontation in the driveway. He's trying to give you peace of mind, even if he has to manufacture it. A successful evening means a normal neighbour. A normal neighbour means your fears were just fears. He needs that to be true. For you and for himself.
The gate groans when Jake pushes it open, the iron scrollwork black and wet with melted frost. The cobblestone path is uneven beneath your boots, the same path you fled down some time ago with your heart in your throat and the phantom heat of a stranger's lips still burning on your knuckles. The house looms above you, every window dark, the curtains drawn against the fading afternoon light.
"Nice place, right?" Jake says under his breath. It's such a desperately optimistic read of the looming dark house in front of you. You'd call it a generous lie if you didn't know your husband any better.
The heavy double doors open before Jake can knock.
Sunghoon stands in the shadow of the threshold, tall and pale and composed. His smile is closed-lipped, polite, his eyes moving from Jake to you with an unhurried grace.
"Welcome." He steps aside, gesturing you in. "Please, come in out of the cold."
"I'd shake your hand, but my fingers are still thawing." Jake laughs, "Seriously though. Thanks so much for having us."
"The pleasure is mine. It's been a very long time since this house has had guests." Sunghoon guides the pair of you inside, and you don't miss the way his hand brushes your back. His gaze flicks to you, and the corner of his mouth lifts just slightly. "Welcome back."
You murmur something that might be thank you. The warmth of the foyer wraps around you as the door swings shut, but it does nothing to stop the chill working its way down your spine.
"Man, this place is insane. You could fit our whole house in this entryway." Jake is still shrugging off his coat, glancing around the foyer with wide, earnest eyes. He elbows you gently, grinning. "Why didn't we buy a creepy old mansion, babe?"
You don't answer, shedding your own coat, avoiding Sunghoon's stare.
"It's too much house for one person, I'm afraid. But it does have its charms." Sunghoon turns, gesturing toward the hall ahead. "Shall I give you the tour?"
"Yes, please." Jake nods enthusiastically, following him into the hall.
You trail behind.
Each room is just as beautiful as the last. The parlour with its heavy velvet drapes and furniture draped in dusty sheets. The study, lined floor to ceiling with books, a massive oak desk sitting dark and unused in the center. The dining room, where a long table has been set for three—candles flickering, silver gleaming. The formality of it all makes you feel like you've stepped into another century.
"My wife had a fondness for entertaining," Sunghoon says, noticing your gaze. "I'm afraid I've let the tradition lapse. You'll have to forgive me if I'm out of practice."
"Are you kidding? This is incredible." Jake claps him on the shoulder, already at ease. "Our dining table is just a couple of sad IKEA chairs."
It's in the music room that Jake stops dead in his tracks.
The grand piano sits in front of the large, draped windows. It's an ancient-looking thing, the legs intricately carved and the body engraved with winding patterns, with candelabras on either side, their wax frozen mid-drip. The ivory keys are yellowed with age, but the dark wood gleams, suggesting it's been properly maintained over the years.
Jake drifts toward it. His hand lifts before he seems to realize it, hovering just above the closed lid.
"No way," he breathes. "You play?"
"Occasionally. Though my wife was far better. It belonged to her." Sunghoon comes to stand beside him. "And you?"
"No, no. I just..." Jake runs a reverent hand over the closed lid. "I used to play guitar. Nothing fancy. Mostly in youth group, you know? Worship nights, that kind of thing."
"Ah, yes." Sunghoon's smile deepens. "A man of faith. Your wife mentioned it."
"Born and raised." Jake glances back at you, his expression bright with the pleasure of finding common ground. "Actually, I used to sing in the choir too, back when I was a kid. Drove the conductor insane because I could never remember the Latin verses."
"A church choir. Now that brings back memories." He hums, soft and almost wistful, "I sang as a child, too. Soprano, if you can believe it. Before my voice dropped and they had no more use for me."
"No way." Jake laughs, delighted. "Small world, huh? What denomination?"
"The details blur after a while." Sunghoon waves a hand, "Though I'm afraid my faith hasn't weathered the years as well as yours."
"Hey, I get it. Life has a way of testing you." Jake's hand finds yours, squeezing, as if to say, see? He's just a guy. A normal, lonely guy. "But the door's always open, right?"
"So I've heard."
You stand a few paces behind them, your hand limp in Jake's grip, listening to the easy rhythm of their conversation. It should be a comfort—your husband, making a friend, building the life you'd both imagined for yourselves in this new town. But all you can feel is the way Sunghoon's gaze keeps drifting toward you even as he speaks to Jake. The way his smile never quite reaches his eyes.
You drift away, taking in the rest of the room while their voices fade behind you.
The bookshelf is built into the far wall, floor to ceiling, packed with old volumes in dark, cracked leather. You let your eyes trace the spines without really seeing them—something to do, somewhere to look that isn't the two of them. Most of the titles are in languages you don't recognize. Latin, maybe. Something older.
Then your gaze snags.
A book bound in dark blue cloth, its cover embossed with a faded silver symbol you recognize instantly. You've seen it before. In the narrow library aisle, in the hands of a bored teenager. Instinctively, your hand reaches.
"Have you read it?"
The voice comes from directly behind you, close enough that you feel the words stir the hair at the nape of your neck. You flinch, spinning on your heel, and find Sunghoon standing less than an arm's length away. You hadn't heard him move. You hadn't heard anything at all.
You look around frantically. Jake. Where is Jake? Where did he—?
"It's local history, mostly. Folklore. Old superstitions." He reaches past you, his sleeve brushing your shoulder, and pulls the volume from the shelf. He turns it over in his hands, long pale fingers tracing the embossed symbol. "You don't strike me as the type to believe in such."
"I don't." You say too quickly, "I just find it interesting. The stories. The history."
"So you have read it."
His eyes meet yours. The candlelight catches them strangely, deepening the dark, and for a moment, you can't look away. You don’t want to. Nor do you want to keep trying to convince yourself that the way he looks at you is anything normal.
"What about you?" You tilt your chin up. "Do you believe any of it is real?"
"I think I’ve told you before. I believe in many things." He slides the book back onto the shelf. "They say curiosity is a dangerous thing. It can be. Though I think a curious mind, who is drawn to things they cannot explain, is putting themselves in far more danger by resisting their nature."
"One might call it resistance. One might also call it none of your concern."
The words come out sharper than you intended. Sunghoon smiles, slow and knowing.
"The scaredy cat has claws." He doesn't step back. His gaze doesn't waver.
Against your will, your mind flashes back to the cat in your front yard, lying bloody and lifeless in the snow. A shudder runs through you.
Jake's footsteps echo in the hallway, and Sunghoon steps back, the space between you reasserting itself as if it had never closed.
"Anyway." Sunghoon's voice lifts, smooth and easy, perfectly timed to Jake's reappearance in the doorway. "It's quite an interesting read, even for a skeptic."
"Sorry about that." He says, expression half sheepish. "I kind of got lost on the way to the bathroom. This house is—yeah. What'd I miss?"
"Your wife was admiring my library," Sunghoon replies. "She has excellent taste."
The three of you sit at one end of the long dining room table, silverware grasped in your unsteady hands, your wine glass untouched. Sunghoon brought out the first course—something rich and dark, red wine sauce pooling on porcelain. It smells delicious, and you watch Jake dig into it thoughtlessly. You move the food around your plate instead. Your mother would scold you for bad table manners, but you don't owe this man any manners. Not when he’s charming your husband to his face, and cornering you when he’s out of sight.
"So only a few weeks," Sunghoon says, refilling Jake's glass with a bottle that had no label. "Married, moved in, new job. You've been busy."
"Busy doesn't even cover it." Jake is already reaching for his glass, his shoulders loosening with each sip. "I barely have time to do anything like this anymore. Socializing, I mean. As much as I love being cooped up with my other half..." He shoots you a wink. "This is nice. Really nice."
"It is." Sunghoon hums in agreement. "I remember what it was like. The demands on a new husband can feel endless. The pressure to build something lasting, to be enough for someone who's given you everything."
"Yeah." Jake exhales, something in his posture softening. "Exactly. It's a lot sometimes."
Sunghoon's gaze drifts to yours.
"Of course, it's hard on the wives, too. I'm sure." He says. "The adjustment can be difficult. Old habits. Old fears. They don't disappear just because there's a ring on your finger."
Jake doesn't seem to notice how you shift in discomfort. He’s already nodding, already raising his glass in a loose, tipsy agreement. He doesn't hear the implication. He doesn't see the way Sunghoon's eyes haven't left your face. He doesn’t listen to you when you tell him to stop drinking, either.
One bottle turned into two, and you don't know how many glasses you've watched your husband down, but you know with certainty that he's far gone as you sit in the living room, stiff and silent while the men chat away. You don't listen. You're too busy noticing how your heart beats faster than the ticking grandfather clock in the corner, eagerly waiting to leave.
The fire has burned down to embers, a low red pulse that makes the shadows stretch along the walls. The record crackles to life, piano drifting through the air. Something slow and minor.
"My wife adored Chopin's nocturnes, but I preferred his sonatas. Though one could argue that everything he composed was excellent." Sunghoon places the record sleeve down, the edges worn. "I used to listen to this one to clear my head."
Jake stirs against you, lifting his head with visible effort.
"Oh yeah?" His voice is thick, syrupy. He squints at the record sleeve in Sunghoon's hands, then back at you. "I know someone who could use that."
He looks straight at you. His eyes are glassy, fond, and painfully oblivious. You glare.
"I'm just teasing, baby." His hand finds your thigh, squeezing. A drunken peace offering. It doesn't help at all. "Just teasing."
"Careful." Sunghoon's voice is closer now, light and teasing as he slides into the couch across from you two. "You'll end up sleeping on the couch tonight."
Jake snorts, and you watch something loosen in his shoulders—watch him lean into the camaraderie of it, the easy, too-easy understanding that passes between them. He gestures with his glass, the dregs of wine sloshing against the crystal.
"She wouldn't let me. Who else is going to protect her from all the scary monsters and the dark?" He rolls his eyes, affectionately dismissive.
"Jake." It comes out as a whisper, a plea.
"You're scared of the dark?"
"She's scared of everything." Jake interrupts, his words slurring. "Scared of the dark. Scared of being alone. Scared of herself, even." He raises his hands in surrender, palms out, the gesture loose and exaggerated. "Don't ask me why. Nobody knows why. I've been trying to figure it out since we met, and I've got nothing."
He lets his hands drop, gazing at you with a sad, broken look in his eyes. Something only alcohol could drag out of him, and something he'll hate himself for in the morning.
"I don't know how to help." He continues, "I don't know what to do. I never know what to—"
"Jake, stop it."
He blinks at you, the awareness that he's crossed a line he definitely shouldn't have dawning on him all at once. His shoulders hunch, invisible weight pressing down on him.
"Right. I should shut my mouth. I know, I know." He sets his glass down on the side table, clumsy, the stem rattling. His hand finds your knee and pats it twice, a sloppy apology. "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm not trying to be mean, sweetheart. I just… don't understand you."
"I know."
"I try. I promise, I try."
"I know you do." You soothe him, feeling his weight press against you. You turn to Sunghoon. "I think he's had too much to drink. We should probably—"
"I try, just..." He exhales, long and slow, the last of the fight going out of him. "Just... can't..."
His head dips forward. His shoulders go slack. The weight of him against your side becomes dead weight, heavy and still.
"Jake?" Your hand moves to his chest, shaking gently. Nothing.
His breathing remains deep and even, but there's no flicker of consciousness beneath his eyelids, no reflexive squeeze of his hand where it lies slack in yours.
"Your husband." Sunghoon hasn't moved from his chair. The firelight catches the pale angle of his jaw, the dark gleam of his eyes. "He's lovely."
"He is." The words come out defensive.
His gaze then drops to your throat.
Your hand twitches up. Beneath your blouse, the cross rests against your heated skin. You wore it like this on purpose, tucked away so you wouldn't be tempted to reach for it, so he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing you clutch it like a shield. Still, your muscle memory betrays you.
"Though, not quite as lovely as you."
You dart your gaze away immediately, redirecting your attention to Jake. You shake him with less care and more urgency.
"Jake." You hiss his name under your breath, a prayer and a plea. "Jake, wake up."
He returns nothing. Not a twitch. Not a flicker of consciousness.
"Please." Your voice is rising now, shedding its careful composure. "Please, Jake—"
"He's not going to wake up."
Sunghoon's voice is certain.
Your hand stills on Jake's shoulder.
"What did you do to him?" Your voice is low. Gone was the politeness you'd faked for your husband's sake.
He smiles.
"Nothing. He drank my wine. Enjoyed good company. That's all." Sunghoon states plainly, "He's exhausted. You've noticed it, haven't you? The dark circles. The way he collapses the moment he's home."
Your gaze drops to Jake's face. To the shadows pooled beneath his eyes. The way his hand, even in sleep, rests on your thigh like he's still trying to anchor you. Your throat tightens. You've done this to him. Your fears. Your clinging. And—
"And the nightmares," Sunghoon continues, his head tilting. "The things you call nightmares. They must be so tiring for him to tend to."
A slow, creeping horror spreads through your chest as you stare back at him.
"But they're not really nightmares." His voice drops, low and intimate. "They never have been."
You move before you can think.
"Jake." Your hand closes around Jake's arm. You pull, trying to drag him upright, trying to haul his dead weight off the couch. "Jake, get up. We're leaving. We're leaving right now—"
His body is heavy and uncooperative, slumping against you, and you're not strong enough, but you try regardless. You try because you can see Sunghoon start to rise from where he's seated from the corner of your eye.
You reach to set down your wine glass. You need both hands. You need to grip Jake properly and drag him out of this house, even if you have to crawl. But your hands are shaking, and the glass comes down too fast.
It shatters.
The sound is obscene in the quiet—a bright, crystalline burst, shards scattering across your hand, across the coffee table and onto the carpet.
Immediately, the pain rises through your palm, and you hiss, jerking your hand back. You watch the blood well up—dark in the low light, beading along the cut and spilling over, sliding down the curve of your wrist.
A single drop falls to the carpet.
Then you hear it. A low, ragged inhale, shuddering and deep, as if the air itself has become something to be devoured. Your head lifts before you can stop it.
He's already above you, his presence caging you into the couch, and the expression on his face has changed. His eyes are dark. His lips have parted. His whole body is still, but it is not the stillness of composure. It is the stillness of a predator in the moment before the strike.
He reaches down. Takes your wrist. The motion is nothing gentle, but there is a restraint in his grip that makes your pulse hammer against his fingers. He draws your bleeding hand toward his face, eyes fixed on the red tracing its way down your palm. He lowers his mouth to it.
"Sunghoon—"
He inhales, and the groan that escapes him is low and guttural, pulled from somewhere deep in his chest. It is pure hunger, pure want, and it makes your thighs press together where you sit, a traitorous heat blooming low in your belly that you cannot control.
"What are you?" Your voice is a mere whisper, weak and trembling. "What do you want from me?"
"You know what I am. You've known me a very long time." His fangs catch the firelight, sharp and unmistakable. He turns your wrist over, watching a bead of blood trace down your palm. "As for what I want... All I've ever wanted is what you promised me all those years ago."
The memories come back to you all at once: The dreams. The cold hands on your bare skin. The sharp teeth sinking into your neck while you begged for it, night after night, year after year. The presence at your window that was never a nightmare at all.
It's always been him.
"For so long, I've waited." He shudders, and the sound is almost pained. "For even just a taste of what is mine."
You watch, frozen, as his lips close around your fingers. His tongue moves against your wounded hand, lapping at the blood with a hunger that feels obscene. His eyes flutter shut. A tremor runs through him, and you feel it echoed in your own body.
Your husband lies sleeping three feet away, a monster is drinking from your hand like a man dying of thirst, and you cannot speak. You cannot do anything but watch and feel the shameful heat pooling between your thighs, the ache you've spent a lifetime trying to pray away now so acute it nearly doubles you over.
A whimper catches in your throat. You try to swallow it back, but it escapes anyway, small and utterly pathetic. His eyes open at the sound, fixed on yours as you watch the slow movement of his throat as he swallows. Your breath is coming short, and you nearly forget how to breathe entirely when his knee comes up to the couch, just between your thighs as he leans over you. Your free hand is pressed flat against your thigh to keep it from reaching for him.
When he finally pulls his mouth from your fingers, a thin strand of saliva, stained with your blood, connects his lower lip to your skin.
"Just a taste..." he breathes, the words ragged. His grip on your wrist tightens, not enough to hurt, but enough to make clear he is holding himself back by a thread. "It's not enough."
"Please," You shake your head. "Please, I don't—"
"Don't you remember? The way you kneeled before me. How I answered your call." His voice drops. "I promised you relief—in exchange for you. For your blood. Your flesh. Your soul. Your innocence. We made a deal."
The soul-contract.
Permanent. Mutual. Even if the vampire dies, the connection doesn't break.
You had hoped it was all folklore. Even after you saw his fangs, after he tasted your blood. Some small part of you clung to the belief that the promise you made at your window was nothing more than a desperate girl's cry into the dark.
But the deal was real. Your marriage, your faith, your husband's gentle love—none of it could change what you'd already given away.
"Why now?" Your voice cracks. "Why me. Why—"
"You have no idea how torturous it was. To be bound to someone I could not reach." His voice is ragged now, stripped of its usual composure. "To feel your wanting every night. Your dreams, your shame. To be unable to touch you. To be unable to drink you. Unable to even stand at your window and watch you."
His eyes find yours, and the hurt in them is so raw, so genuine, that for a moment you forget he's a monster.
"And then you moved across the river. Across the street. I thought—finally. Finally, she's come to me." His expression hardens. "But you came with him. You let another man touch what was already mine. How could you do that to me?"
The running water barrier—they can't cross it.
You remember when you viewed the house in this neighbourhood. The unmistakable, almost unsettlingly strong pull you'd felt. You'd taken it as a sign from God that this place was right. That your future belonged here.
So you left your childhood home behind. You crossed the southern river. You brought yourself within his reach, and you brought your husband with you.
God. He hadn't been the one to answer your prayers. He hadn't guided you on the right path, either. Perhaps you'd let him down too many times. Perhaps your faith was too bleak, too fragile. Or perhaps he'd stopped listening altogether the night you knelt at your window and begged for something He couldn't give.
"I felt everything. Every touch. Every kiss. His name on your lips." His gaze cuts to Jake's sleeping form, a strange sort of understanding surfacing beneath his frown. "I even felt your love for him."
He is quiet for a long moment, and so are you. Then, his gaze returns to you.
"I cannot understand how you could love someone else. Though, I also cannot blame you for needing someone in my absence."
His mouth is at your throat now. You feel the graze of his fangs against the thin skin over your pulse, the place where your blood beats closest to the surface.
"But I am here now. Do not deny me any longer." His voice is a murmur against your neck, each word a brush of cool lips. "I've been so patient, my love."
Your pulse is racing, warm and alive under his cold touch. Your blood sings to him, practically begging to be taken. Though he doesn't bite.
You remember why before you can question it: The soul-contract requires permission.
Your body is screaming for you to give in. Your hand wants to curl into his hair and press him closer to your neck, to offer yourself and enjoy every second of it, the way you have done so in every dream you've ever had of him. You are trembling with the effort of holding yourself still as you imagine the pleasure, the relief.
Then you look to Jake, the peaceful look on his face, his soft breathing.
"Don't."
His hand stills. Then it withdraws entirely. The loss of contact is almost worse than the touch—your skin aching where his palm had rested, your pulse hammering against nothing.
His expression shifts, tenderness replaced with something wounded.
"That night." Your voice trembles, but you force the words out. "It was a mistake. I was young. And desperate. That's all it was."
"You can lie to your husband. You can even lie to yourself. But you cannot lie to me." He frowns. "I can smell your desire from down the street. It reeks."
"I don't desire this. I don't. I don't want it. I just want to be left alone." You shake your head as the words fall out, painfully unconvincing. The tears come before you can stop them, spilling over your cheeks. "Please. Please leave me alone."
He watches you weep, ever so still and silent. Then, his hand rises, near your face. For a moment, you let yourself lean into the possibility of the touch, the cold comfort of his fingertips.
"These tears." His voice is barely a whisper as a single finger traces the track of your tears. "You only cry because you continue to deny yourself."
You sniffle. Blink. Meet his gaze through the wet blur of your lashes.
"You've tormented me for years." You try to sound angry. Your voice doesn't obey. "You've ruined me. And now you're ruining my marriage."
"Tormented?" His brows furrow, and he studies your face—the parted lips, the flushed cheeks, the wet gleam of your eyes. His hand remains at your cheek. His touch is cold. It soothes, momentarily, the all-consuming heat inside you. "You have it all wrong. I've loved you for years."
"Love." You'd laugh if you weren't crying, "You're not in love. You're hungry."
"Hunger is the purest form of love. It doesn't think. It doesn't negotiate. It simply wants." He tilts his head. "You know that. You've been hungry your whole life. You hunger for something only I can give you. Something only we can share."
You think of the ache. The one that never goes away. The one you've tried to pray away, fuck away, hide away in the deepest part of yourself. It pulses now, insistently, and you know he could make it stop.
You pull away regardless. Your body screams, but you ignore it. You will not give in to temptation. You will resist.
"Stay away from me."
His expression doesn't change, but the air between you feels as if it does. He looks at you for a long, unreadable moment. Then he inclines his head.
"Very well."
The firelight catches his face—his terribly beautiful face. It hurts to even look at him.
"You're stubborn." His hand drifts from your neck, his gaze longing. "So was I."
He brings his palm to your forehead, and your eyelids grow heavy. The weight of slumber threatens to pull you under, and you try to fight it, but your body is no longer yours to command. It hasn't been for a long time.
"But you know, my dear..." His voice is the last thing you hear, "A vampire still needs to feed."
His gaze shifts past you. Toward the couch. Toward Jake.
You aren't able to protest. The record still plays, the second sonata in its third movement, and it lulls you, allowing the darkness to swallow you whole.
You wake slowly, your body rising before your mind can follow. The first thing you register is warmth. The second is wetness, a slick, shameful heat between your thighs that tells you the dreams have come again even if you can't remember them.
The third is the press of your husband's body against your back. Hard. Insistent.
"Shit, baby." Jake's voice is rough, his arm tightening around your waist. "You're killing me."
Your husband.
You lurch forward, twisting in his grip, your hands finding his shoulders and pushing him flat against the mattress so you can climb over him. Your heart is pounding from the images that linger at the edge of your memory like a flickering candle flame. His face. His teeth. Your blood on his lips. The way your husband slumped against the couch, and how he moved towards him.
"Jake!" The name tears out of you. Your hands cup his face, thumbs pressing into his cheekbones, tilting his head left and right. "Jake, you're alive."
He blinks up at you, squinting against the pale morning light. His hair is a mess, flattened on one side, and there's a crease from the pillow pressed into his cheek.
"Ugh. Barely." He groans, scrubbing a hand over his face. "How much did I drink last night? I feel like I got hit by a truck."
Your hands are still on his face, your eyes still searching.
"Do you... do you remember anything?"
"Uh..." He hums, his brow furrowing with the effort of recollection. "The meal was amazing. And the wine. A lot of wine. And..." He shifts, adjusting himself with a wince. "I remember thinking our neighbour's a really cool guy."
Your heart drops into your stomach.
"I could see myself being friends with him."
Friends. With him. With that monster. You bite your tongue.
"Do you remember anything else?" You ask a little quieter this time.
"Should I be remembering something else?" He props himself up on his elbows, his expression shifting from groggy to concerned. "Did something happen?"
"Do you remember passing out on his couch?"
His eyes widen.
"I did? Shit. That's... so embarrassing." His hands come up to his face, a half-groan, half-laugh leaving him. "It was fun, though. You had a good time too, right?"
You don't answer. Your gaze drifts to his neck, to the skin just below his jaw. There they are. Two small punctures, red and slightly raised, the skin around them faintly bruised.
A vampire needs to feed.
You reach, your fingertips brushing the wounds. Jake flinches.
"What is that?" He twists away from your touch, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stumbling toward the mirror above the dresser. He tilts his chin, squinting at his reflection. "Huh. Looks like mosquito bites or something. Weird time of year for bugs."
"Vampire bite."
Jake's eyes meet yours in the mirror. For a moment, his expression is unreadable—caught somewhere between confusion and a smile, like he's waiting for the punchline. Then his face settles into something flatter. Tired.
"Ha. Yeah, right. Very funny." He turns from the mirror, reaching for a T-shirt on the floor. "Don't tell me you're still serious about that."
"I am serious."
He pauses, one arm in his sleeve, the other still free. He turns to look at you over his shoulder, his expression wholeheartedly, genuinely, bewildered with disbelief.
"Baby." He pulls the shirt the rest of the way on. His voice is groggy, too tired to give your seeming absurdity any real argument. "Come on."
"You don't understand, you—" At the fuzzy recollection of the previous night—the glass shattering in your hand, and the wound he licked clean, you scramble to show Jake your hand, holding out your right palm. "Look. I cut my hand and he..."
Your voice trails off, seeing your hand. You turn your hand over, flexing your fingers. You know you didn't imagine the pain of the glass piercing your skin. You know you watched him devour the blood from your open wound. And yet, there isn't a single mark. Not even a faint scar. Not a trace of proof to show him.
"Sweetheart. Look at me." Jake says slowly, calmly. "Are you actually suggesting that our neighbour—who, by the way, invited us into his home and made us dinner—is a vampire?" He waits, watching you. Watches how you don't answer, how you ignore him and continue to inspect your hand for proof that isn't there. "You can't be serious. Vampires aren't real. They're Halloween costumes. They're shitty movies. They're— "
"Jake. Just—look at your neck." You gesture, and his hand flies up instinctively to the wound. "It's literally right there. We're both looking at it."
"These are—I don't know what they are. An allergic reaction. A spider bite. I don't know. But it's not..." He stops himself, shaking his head. "You believe this. You actually, genuinely believe that Sunghoon is a vampire?"
"He is."
Neither of you moves.
Jake stares at you. You stare back. And for a long, strange moment, you're both just standing there in your bedroom looking at each other like you've each just discovered the other is speaking a foreign language.
"I don't..." He passes a hand over his face. "I don't even know what to say to that."
"Say you believe me."
"I don't." He exhales, long and slow. "Baby, you're asking me to believe in actual, literal monsters who drink blood and sleep in a coffin and turn into bats."
"He doesn't turn into a bat, or—"
"Oh, well, that's reassuring. Thank you for clarifying." He scoffs. "I can't believe what I'm hearing. I can't—it's too early for this."
"Jake," you plead, "I know it sounds crazy. But I know what I saw."
"What did you see?"
The question hangs in the air between you. He poses it the same way he always does, when he asks about your nightmares. And you realize, with a sinking, gut-wrenching clarity, that there is no answer you can give that he will believe. You could describe the fangs—sharp and white and gleaming in the firelight. You could describe the sound he made when he smelled your blood, animalistic and starving. You could describe the way his mouth closed around your fingers, the way his tongue moved against your skin as he drank from your hand. You could spend hours, talking in circles, trying to explain it. It doesn't matter. Jake didn't see it. He would only look at you with those patient, loving eyes and say you had a nightmare or you were scared and the wine got to your head. "Hey." His voice softens. He crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed beside you, his hand finding yours. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad."
"I know."
"Where is this coming from?" He asks, "The vampire talk. Is it your dreams?"
You nod. It's true, even if not the whole truth.
"Tell me about them." His thumb traces your hand. "I know you don't like talking about your dreams. But I can't help you if you don't tell me."
Jake waits. When nothing comes, he squeezes your hand.
"Please. I want to understand. Please give me something." His fingers lace through yours, intertwined with his hand, "I'm your husband. You can tell me anything."
The words are right there. My dreams, my sins, the things I prayed for in the dark, the monster that answered. But they don't come. Saying them out loud means admitting what you'd done, what you brought into your marriage and haunts the space between your thighs when you wake in the dark. What you still, in the deepest and most secret part of yourself, want.
He wouldn't see the woman he thought he married. He'd see filth. Sin. Your rotting, corrupted soul. A woman who begged evil to touch her.
"I don't think my dreams are just dreams anymore." The words come out barely a whisper. You can't bring yourself to tell him the rest. "I'm so scared, Jake."
The sob that follows is ugly and raw. You crawl into his lap like you did a few weeks ago, your fingers twisting into the fabric of his shirt, your face pressed to the warm hollow of his throat. And he holds you. Like he always does. Like he's come to expect.
"Okay," he murmurs into your hair. "Okay. I've got you. It's okay."
But it's not okay. Even now, with his arms around you and his heartbeat steady beneath your ear, you feel it. That hunger. A ravenous void inside you, hot and insistent and utterly indifferent to the tears still drying on your cheeks. It never leaves. It's always there.
Your hand moves before you can stop it. Sliding up his chest. Curling into the collar of his shirt. Your mouth finds his.
He lets you kiss him, his lips parting under yours, a small sound of surprise caught in his throat. His hands come up to your waist, steadying you, and for a moment it's like every other time—the familiar heat, the familiar hunger, the familiar way your body presses into his like he's the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth.
You climb deeper into his lap, your knees bracketing his hips. You roll against him, a slow, desperate grind, chasing the friction that might quiet the ache for even a few seconds.
You need him to be enough. You need him to be the answer, the cure, the thing that scares the monster out of you.
"Baby." His voice is breathless, his hands tightening on your waist. "Slow down."
You don't—you can't. Slowing down means thinking, and thinking means remembering the cold hands, the sharp teeth, his mouth on your fingers while your husband slept three feet away. So you kiss him harder. You grind down against the pressure in his underwear, a desperate little sound escaping your throat.
"Hey." His grip shifts, trying to tame you. "Hey, slow down. Just—"
Your hand drops to grasp him, but he's quicker than you. He closes around your wrists, and your back hits the mattress, his weight settling over you, his knees bracketing your hips. He keeps your hands pinned down on either side of your head, breathing heavy above your form.
You thrash. Not playfully, either. Not with a smile or a giggle or a pout. It's a full-body thrash, fuelled by a sharp and sudden frustration, verging on genuine anger. You twist beneath him, trying to free your hands, trying to arch up into the heat of his body.
"Stop." His voice is quiet. "Just stop. For a second."
You thrash again. You hiss his name, and you even try to kick him, but he shifts his weight enough to keep you fully restrained. He doesn't budge. His grip on your wrists is secure, his weight solid and unmovable.
It's only when you feel your tears sliding from your temples into your hairline that you realize you're still crying. You must look insane. You must look like exactly what you are: a woman trying to fuck her way out of her own damnation.
"Please." The word comes out broken, barely a whisper. You don't know if you're asking him to let go or to never let go.
"No." He shakes his head. "We're not doing this."
"Why not?"
"Every time you get scared, or something upsets you, you climb into my lap and kiss me. I don't know what you're trying to do or why, but..." His voice isn't quite as steady as it usually is. A hitch in his breath, a flicker of something else. He swallows. "I can't just fuck the hurt out of you. It's not right."
"It helps." Your voice cracks. "Please. Just help me."
He stares down at you. His eyes are so tired. So unbearably, impossibly tired. And beneath the exhaustion, there's something you've never seen before.
"Sweetheart." He whispers. "You're scaring me."
Your body goes slack beneath him, but his grip doesn't loosen. He still holds your wrists against the mattress, still keeps his weight braced above you, still watches you with those wide, careful eyes. Like you've gone rabid.
He shouldn't have to hold me down, you think. A good wife doesn't need to be restrained.
A good wife doesn't claw at her husband while she's still crying. A good wife doesn't grind against him like a bitch in heat, chasing a relief he can't give her, chasing a hunger that has nothing to do with love. A good wife doesn't show her burning desire. Desire belongs to the husband. It's his to wield and use, and for her to accept it.
But here you are. Pinned to your own marriage bed for all the wrong reasons, your face wet with tears you can't explain, your body still aching with a want he didn't ask for—a want to be consumed, to be devoured without shame, without guilt. Of course he doesn't know what to do with it. You crave something he cannot give you.
The fight drains out of you all at once, leaving nothing but the hollow ache and the shame and the terrible, traitorous thought that rises up before you can stop it.
Sunghoon wouldn't stop.
Sunghoon wouldn't be scared. He would see the hunger on your face and recognize it. He would give you exactly what you were asking for. He would pin you to the mattress and sink his teeth into your throat and make the ache disappear. He wouldn't try to save you. He would let you drown.
"Baby?"
Jake's voice cuts through the dark. You blink, and the fantasy recedes, with Sunghoon's face dissolving, the cold hands retreating, the sharp teeth fading back into the shadows where they belong.
Your husband is still there. Still hovering over you with that furrow between his brows, that gentle, worried look he's been wearing for weeks. He's been talking. You haven't been listening.
"I think I know what's going on."
You look up.
"We haven't been to church in weeks. Either of us. Ever since the wedding, we've just... let it slip." His voice is so certain. "You're losing touch with God, and it's scaring you."
Losing touch.
Your eyes land on the cross around his neck, catching the pale light from the window. It's the same one he was wearing when you met him all those years ago. You've never seen him without it.
Jake is a good Christian. He always has been. His faith has never wavered, never faltered, never turned its back on him the way yours turned its back on you.
Foolishly, you'd once hoped that his goodness might rub off on you, that marrying a man who loved God so easily might help you remember how to do the same. Now you wonder if you're doing the opposite. If you're the one dragging him away from the light.
"I'm not saying it's the whole answer. I'm just saying... maybe it's a start." He presses a kiss to your head. "Let's go. Together. It can't hurt, right?"
The hope in your chest is as steady as a single lit candle in the wind. Somehow, it still burns—It flickers, it wavers, but it still burns. You don't know if it's because you're too stubborn to let it go out, or if you only cling to it because it's the only thing you know.
"Yeah," You nod. You try a smile, though it feels stiff against your cheeks. "Let's go."
The church is small and quaint, an old-fashioned-looking chapel. Stained glass windows filter in colour from the grey winter light, and the air smells of incense and old wood and the faint, sweet perfume of the elderly women who fill the front pews.
You sit near the back, and Jake holds your hand throughout the opening prayers, his thumb tracing those same familiar circles. When the choir rises to sing, he glances at you with a small, encouraging smile. See? the smile says. This is where we belong.
You try to feel it. You close your eyes. You bow your head. You let the Latin verses wash over you, the same ones Jake joked about forgetting as a boy—Gloria in excelsis Deo, et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis—and wait for the peace that is supposed to follow.
The prayers feel hollow in your mouth, words without meaning. The hymns rise and fall, but they bring you no peace. The stained glass saints stare down at you with flat, judgmental eyes, and you feel the weight of their disapproval.
You don't belong here. You are sitting in the house of God with the stain of your dreams still fresh on your skin, with the memory of a monster's eyes and sharp teeth and the wet heat of your own arousal clinging to you beneath your skirt. You are filthy.
Jake squeezes your hand, and you flinch.
"You okay?" he whispers.
You look at him, his smile, his earnest concern.
You don't belong. You are filthy, you are damned. But you are trying. God help you, you are trying.
Returning the squeeze of his hand, you nod.
The service drags on. The priest's homily is about faith in times of trial, about holding fast to belief when the world grows dark around you. You sit with your hands folded in your lap, your spine rigid, listening to the words but taking in none of it.
When the final blessing is given, and the congregation rises to leave, you feel like you've been holding your breath for an hour and only just now remembered how to exhale.
"See?" Jake says, his arm slipping around your waist as you walk toward the doors. "That was nice, right?"
"Hey, lady!"
The voice echoes through the vestibule, bright and unmistakable, and you freeze. Jake turns, his arm still around you, and you watch his expression shift from confusion to surprise as a lanky figure in a rumpled button-up shirt comes bounding toward you through the thinning crowd.
Niki. From the library. The collar of his shirt askew. His hair looks like it hasn't seen a comb since last Sunday. And he's grinning like you're the most exciting thing to happen to him all week.
"Hey, lady! And sir—" He glances at Jake, giving him a quick, awkward nod. "Lady's husband. Hi."
"We need to go," you say quickly, your hand tightening on Jake's arm. "Sorry, Niki, we're—"
"What's this?" Jake's free hand has already reached out, plucking a slim paperback from the boy's grip before either of you can react. He turns it over, reading the cover. "Vampire lore, huh?"
Jake turns the book toward you. The cover shows a shadowed figure with glowing eyes, looming over a sleeping woman. The Old World Vampire: A Study of Belief, Burial, and Blood.
"I keep it in the Bible during service," Niki grabs it back, oblivious to how Jake's expression flickers with all the shock, scandal, and the distant horror of a youth group alumnus at the thought of someone tucking something so unholy between the pages of Scripture. "Please don't tell my mom. She'd kill me if she knew I was reading this stuff in church."
Jake doesn't respond to Niki. He's looking at you now, and the lightness in his voice is a thin veneer over something sharper.
"Sweetheart." He waits until you meet his eyes. "How exactly do you know this kid?"
"We met at the library. A few weeks ago."
"Dude." Niki is staring at Jake now with unbearable sincerity. "Your wife is so cool."
Jake blinks, the exhaustion in his face flickering. His brow lifts almost imperceptibly as he glances at you, a question forming at the corner of his mouth. Something in his expression is almost amused.
"She's the only person in this entire town who cares about this stuff. My mom literally tried to get the pastor to purify me one time because of my 'satanic theories' but she—" He jabs a finger toward you, his face alight. "She gets it."
The amusement dies.
"What stuff?"
You can feel Jake's stare now, the weight of it pressing against the side of your face. You don't return it.
Niki opens his mouth to answer, but Jake raises a hand.
"I'm asking her."
The silence that follows has Niki's grin faltering. He looks at you, then at Jake, just catching up to the tension in the room.
"History. Folklore." You swallow, "The occult—"
"Vampires." Jake finishes for you, flatly. Then turns to Niki. "My wife talks to you about vampires, is that it?"
Niki blinks, nodding enthusiastically. "You're so lucky, man. Seriously. I've got no one to talk to about this stuff and you just, like, get to be married to her. That's insane."
"Yeah. Lucky me."
"We should go," you say quickly. "Goodbye — "
"Wait!" Niki is already digging in his pocket, his fingers closing around a crumpled scrap of paper. "I wanted to give you this. My Discord."
He points at the username scrawled across the paper: xX_vampK1_Xx "I kept waiting for you to come back to the library, but you never did, so..." He thrusts it toward you, his expression almost painfully eager. "Message me? Please?"
From the distance, a woman's voice calls out. "Niki! Car. Now."
"That's my mom." He shoves the paper into your hand, his fingers cold and quick. "Okay, bye lady! Bye, lady's husband!"
And then he's gone, swallowed by the crowd of departing church-goers, leaving you standing in the vestibule with a scrap of paper in your fist and your husband staring at the side of your face.
The drive home is quiet.
Jake doesn't speak until you're through the front door, until his keys are tossed onto the hall table and his coat is shed. You shed yourself of your own coat, the small paper Niki had handed you still folded in its pocket.
"When I said go out to town and make friends," he says, his voice carefully level, "I didn't think you'd go befriending... emo teenagers."
You don't answer. You smooth the sleeve of your coat, align it on the hanger and close the closet door with a soft click.
"Kid gave you his Discord in front of me. At church. Ballsy, I'll give him that." A laugh, but there's nothing funny about his tone. "Must've really charmed him with all that vampire talk."
"Don't tell me you're jealous of a high schooler." You turn to face him finally, your back against the closet door.
"You know that's not it." His arms cross over his chest. "You never told me you went to the library. You never told me you were—what, researching? Talking with some kid who hides monster books inside his Bible?"
You push off the door and walk past him, into the kitchen. Away from the hurt in his eyes that you can't quite bear to witness.
"You're keeping secrets from me." He raises his voice ever so slightly, not enough to startle you, but enough to be heard from down the hall. "You're not going to explain yourself?"
His footsteps trail behind you. You reach the sink and turn on the faucet, letting the water run for no reason at all. Just sound. Something to drown out the shame.
"I went to the library to read about vampires. Because I thought—Because I know our neighbour is a vampire." You say, "And I didn't tell you because I knew you would look at me like... this."
Jake exhales, a long, measured breath.
You turn off the faucet, eyes glued to the tub of hot water, but you don't reach for any dishes.
"You don't believe me. So why would I tell you?"
His hands find your shoulders, warm and steady, and he turns you gently away from the sink. Away from the dirty dishes and the pretense that any of this is normal.
"I believe that you believe it." His thumbs trace the curve of your shoulders. "I believe you're scared. I believe something is wrong. I just don't think it's what you think it is."
"That's not the same thing."
"No. It's not."
He's quiet for a moment. Then, with a sigh, he guides you. His hand finds the small of your back. He pulls out a chair at the kitchen table and waits until you sit. Then he sits across from you and takes both your hands in his.
"Don't keep things from me." His voice is low, but it sounds like a plea. "I don't care how crazy it is. Even if you became a madwoman, I would never leave you. Never." He squeezes your hands. "Please. Don't hide. Don't push me away."
"I'm sorry," you look down at your joined hands. "I'm sorry that I'm like this. I'm sorry I can't just be normal."
"Stop. Don't apologize." He lifts one hand to your chin, tilting your face up until you meet his eyes. "I love you. I'll love you 'til the day I die."
You nod, sucking in a breath. You think you would be crying if you hadn't already shed all your tears earlier that morning.
"I love you too."
He nods, but the furrow in his brow doesn't smooth. His thumb traces a slow arc across your knuckles, and you can feel him preparing himself for whatever he's about to say.
"I want you to see someone. A therapist, or a counsellor. Someone who can actually help you work through all of this.” His voice is gentle, but there's no hesitation in it. He's been thinking about this. Maybe for a while. "These fears. The nightmares. It's not healthy. You can't spend the rest of your life like this."
A therapist. Your eyes drop to Jake's neck, where you know a vampire's bite hides beneath his collar.
"It won't help."
"It might." He squeezes your hands, willing you to meet him halfway. "You don't know unless you try. Even if it doesn't, at least we tried."
He lifts your hands to his lips and presses a kiss to your knuckles. His eyes are full of love, but tired. So very tired. You can see it in his movements, in the slight hunch of his shoulders.
You could argue. You could try to explain why it's a waste of money and time. But that's not what he needs to hear.
"Okay." You say. "I'll go."
His eyes widen, like he'd braced himself for a fight and doesn't quite know what to do now. Then he pushes back his chair and stands, pulling you up with him. His arms wrap around you before you've even found your footing, one hand splayed across your spine, the other cradling the back of your head. You feel his breath against your hair, warm and unsteady, and you feel his smile.
"Thank you," he murmurs. "Thank you."
He pulls back just enough to kiss your forehead. Then your cheek. Then the bridge of your nose, clumsy and reverent, and you almost laugh despite everything. He's already talking about a counsellor his mother knows, a name he'll look up, a number he'll call in the morning, but the words blur together, lost in the rhythm of his heart against your ear.
Being held is not the same as being saved, but you close your eyes and accept his embrace anyway. His arms are warm, and his heart is steady, and for now, that's enough. It's all you have left.
The call comes Monday afternoon.
You've been at your laptop for the better part of an hour, filling out a self-assessment form for the counsellor Jake's mother recommended. On a scale of one to ten, how often do you feel overwhelmed by daily tasks? Do you experience intrusive thoughts? Have you ever felt disconnected from reality? The last question is taking you longer than it should, when your phone buzzes against the kitchen table. The number is one you don't recognize, and you almost let it ring. But then you look back at your screen, and decide you'd rather do anything else than pick out numbers on a scale that can't measure what's actually wrong with you.
"Mrs. Sim?"
Your hand tightens around the phone. Jake's boss explains something about how he looks terrible, how he nearly collapsed getting up from his desk, how someone needs to come get him immediately.
"I told him he should have stayed home," the boss's gruff voice says over the phone, "He kept saying he didn't want to let anyone down. Is he always this stubborn?"
You find him at his desk, pale and half-slumped, a coworker hovering uncertainly at his elbow. Between the two of you, you get him to the car. He doesn't argue. That's how you know it's bad. And you watch him from the corner of your eye the whole drive home, his head against the window as he fights his own exhaustion.
"It's nothing. Really." His words slur together as you guide him down the hall, his arm heavy across your shoulders. "Probably just a cold. I'll be fine in the morning."
You ease him onto the mattress. He sinks into it, his body going slack the moment his head touches the pillow. His eyes close. His breathing evens out, shallow but steady.
You bring him soup, which he doesn't eat. You bring him water, which he barely sips. You sit on the edge of the bed and watch the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and the whole time your mind is spinning through the past few weeks like a reel of film you can't stop.
Every night you've woken gasping from dreams you can't confess to. Every morning he's held you through the aftermath, whispering reassurances into your hair while the shadows under his eyes grew darker and darker. Every time he's said I'm trying, baby, I'm trying so hard—and you've let him. You've let him carry you, let him comfort you, let him pour himself out trying to understand something you can't explain.
And what have you given him in return? Tears. Secrets. A hand squeezing his at church while you both pretended everything was fine. Late nights where he held you instead of sleeping, early mornings where he made you coffee and asked gentle questions and got nothing back but silence.
You look at him now, with his work shirt still half-unbuttoned, his face slack, his fingers twitching faintly against the blanket and feel the guilt settle over you. He's spent every ounce of himself trying to save you from a monster he doesn't believe in.
"I'm sorry," you whisper to the quiet room. He doesn't stir.
The next day, he is worse.
You can't get him to lift his head for more than a few seconds. The medicine you brought sits untouched on the nightstand. His skin has taken on a translucence that makes your blood run cold, and when you press a cool cloth to his forehead, he barely seems to register the touch.
"Just need to sleep," he murmurs, the words slurring together. "Don't worry. You worry too much."
You don't leave his side.
You watch the hours crawl past, the gray morning fading into a grayer afternoon, the light at the window never quite brightening, and try to convince yourself it's a fever. A winter bug that hit him harder than most. But even as you tell yourself these things, your eyes keep drifting to the collar of his shirt, to the pale skin beneath, to the two small marks you know are there, still healing. You don't see any other marks, but the thought lingers.
By the third day, he can barely open his eyes.
You've stopped leaving the room except to refill the water glass he can't drink from. You've stopped pretending this is something you can fix with soup and cold compresses and whispered prayers. You sit in the chair beside the bed, your knees drawn up to your chest, and watch him fade.
It's around noon when you notice it. The sun is high in the sky today, not a single cloud, and the light illuminates the blood stain on his pillowcase, clear as day.
A small stain, rust-brown and drying, near the nape of his neck. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him, as you ease him onto his side and lift the hem of his shirt.
The marks are everywhere. Some are fresh—bright red, the skin around them inflamed and angry. Others have scabbed over, dark and ugly and bruised. Bite marks. Dozens of them. Clustered between his shoulder blades, and trailing down like a map of slow consumption.
You don't realize you're crying until a tear falls, mingling with the dried blood on his skin.
The sound you make must wake him, because his fingers twitch against the blanket, and his voice, thin and weak, drifts up from the pillow.
"Hey." A long pause. He doesn't have the strength to turn his head. "Don't cry."
You help him lie back against the pillows, your hands trembling so badly you can barely manage it. His eyes find yours—still that same warm brown, still impossibly gentle, even now, even after everything—and the tears come harder. He opens his mouth, as if to say something, but doesn't. Whether he can't find the strength or the words, you aren't sure. But you aren't about to let him finish, even if he could.
"I have to tell you something." You say quick and certain, though you feel anything but. "Please just listen."
He blinks, slow and heavy. Barely aware, barely awake.
"When I was younger. Before I met you. Before I even knew what I was doing. I prayed for something God couldn't give me. Something sinful. Something—" You swallow, force yourself to continue. "Lustful. Shameful. Every night. Every prayer. It was consuming me."
Jake's brow furrows. His hand moves across the blanket, searching for yours.
"My prayers were answered," you keep going. "But not by God. By something else. Something evil. These nightmares didn't appear out of nowhere. They're the consequence of what I did. It came to me in my dreams. It tempted me. It tainted me. For years. And now..."
You can't look at him. You stare at the blanket, at the pattern of the quilt, at the pale shape of his hand still reaching for yours.
"I've dragged you into the darkness with me." You grip his hand, "I'm sorry, Jake."
Silence. A long, stretching silence, broken only by the rasp of his breathing.
Then his fingers find yours.
"Baby."
You look up. His eyelids are heavy, his brow furrowed with an effort that seems to take everything he has left. The slow, laboured machinery of a mind trying to surface and failing.
"Baby, you are the light of my life." His voice is barely a whisper now, each word an effort. "I know you. I know your heart. It's pure. The purest of them all. Don't say scary stuff like that."
"You don't understand." You shake your head, the tears sliding hot and fast down your cheeks.
"I know." A ghost of a smile crosses his lips. He strokes the back of your hand, the motion so familiar, so tender, that it makes your chest ache. "But you understand me either."
The room is quiet. The light through the window has shifted—the gray afternoon giving way to the pale gold of a winter sunset, slanting through the glass and spilling across the bed.
Jake's gaze drifts to your face, and something in his expression changes. Softens. Opens.
"If only you could see yourself right now." His voice is barely audible, but there is a warmth in it that remains. "The way the light hits you. You're so beautiful." His fingers tighten around yours. It's the last of his strength, poured into a single gesture. "You look like an angel."
Your heart swells.
He doesn't see it. Even as you confess words you'd never dared to even think about out loud, he doesn't see the rot, the sin, the stain that has been spreading through you since long before you ever met him.
"You should see yourself," he murmurs again, his eyes already drifting closed. "So pretty. My pretty wife. I love you so much."
"I love you more." You whisper, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
He doesn't understand what you've told him. Or maybe he does. Maybe the truth is too big, too impossible, too far outside the world he believes in. All you know is that even now, when your sins are quite literally bleeding him dry, he looks at you and sees something worth loving.
You lay your head against his chest, closing your eyes. You listen to the fading rhythm of his heart, like a ticking clock.
You will not let time run out.
"Hello? Who is—wait." A pause. A sharp inhale. "Lady? Is that you? You actually made a Discord!"
Niki's voice crackles through your laptop speakers, tinny and incredulous. In the background, you can hear the faint, distorted blast of music, which cuts off abruptly as he slams a button. A desk chair creaks.
"This is amazing. I didn't think you'd actually call me. I mean, I hoped, but I've been checking my Discord every day since church."
You stare at the Discord interface, feeling decades older than you are. Jake lies down the hall, silent and still. You made sure he was asleep, though that wasn't hard to ensure. He hadn't done so much as open his eyes since the afternoon.
"I need your help."
"Help. Yeah. Okay. Um. Help with what, exactly?" His voice drops to a theatrical whisper. "Is it a vampire thing?"
You take in a breath.
"I need to know how to kill one." The silence on the other end stretches so long you think the call has dropped. Then you add, "Hypothetically."
"Oh. My. God." A drawer opens. Pages ruffle. "Okay. So. Classic methods. A wooden stake through the heart works, but the wood matters—hawthorn, ash, some sources say rowan. Decapitation is more reliable, but that's hard to pull off unless you have a sword, which I'm guessing you don't."
"I don't."
"Sunlight. Direct, full exposure. Not just a cloudy day—like, dawn, clear sky, no shade. Fire works on basically everything, but you'd have to trap it somehow." He's speaking faster now, the words tumbling over each other. "There's also holy water and consecrated ground, but the research on that is mixed—"
"That's enough. Thank you."
"What? No. Wait. I have so much more. I have an entire notebook. I have—" He stops. His voice changes, sharpens. "Wait a second. Why do you need to know this?"
"Goodbye, Niki—"
"No, hang on—You're literally asking how to kill a vampire." His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, the words still returning with a squeak as they come out in a rush. "Holy shit. You do know a vampire. I knew it. Is it in town? Is it drinking people's blood? Did it attack you? Are you in danger?"
You sigh, a hand to your temple. He's talking so fast, you can't find a proper opening to leave, and though you know you should probably just hang up, some part of you doesn't want to leave the poor boy in a state of panic.
"I’m not in any danger. I'm—”
"I can help, you know. I'm not just some kid. I know so much about this stuff. More than anyone. I've read every book in that library twice. I've read books that aren't even in the library. I know lore that isn't even translated yet. You need a vampire taken down? I'm your guy. I mean, I've never done it, but I could probably figure it out."
"That's sweet of you, really, but—"
"And you're just a housewife—not saying that housewives can't kick ass! I'm sure you could. Maybe. But you're not exactly, like, a vampire hunter." He sucks in a breath so sharp you hear it whistle through his teeth. "Wait. Shouldn't your husband be protecting you? Why isn't he—does he even know about this?"
You close your eyes.
"He doesn't know," Niki gasps in horror. His voice drops to a horrified whisper. "That's why you were asking about soul-contracts in the library. That's why you looked like you were going to throw up when I read that passage. You're in a soul-bond with a vampire, and your husband doesn't know."
Your head is in your hands now, his voice rambling through the laptop speaker.
"That's—that's insane. That's literally insane." He sputters, the words tangling in his mouth. "Isn't that like—I mean, a soul-contract, isn't that kind of like—isn't that like cheating? Like, spiritually? Eternally? Your husband thinks he's married to you, but you're already—"
"I have to go."
"Wait!"
You end the call.
The laptop screen glows, Niki's profile picture still visible in the corner—some anime character with a stupid hairstyle, smirking at nothing. A notification pops up. Then another. Then a string of them, rapid-fire, the little red badge counting up.
xX_vampK1_Xx: wait xX_vampK1_Xx: pls dont hang up xX_vampK1_Xx: or die
You don't read them all, closing the laptop instead. Wooden stake. Fire. Sunlight.
You wait for him. Curtains drawn back, the window open. The winter air slips through the gap, cold enough to make you shiver in your nightgown, but you remain there, facing the open night. You wait the way you used to wait—on your knees, on the floor, praying for something that God refused to give you. Down the hall, Jake lies in the guest bedroom. The room you'd once hoped would become a nursery. It seems like a distant dream now, a life that belonged to someone else. You'd moved him there before the sun had set, his body heavy, unconscious, and blissfully unaware. He doesn't know what you're about to do. You hope he never will. When the silhouette appears, it's almost a relief. He steps through the parted curtains, and the moonlight reveals him. He's too pale, too still, his dark eyes already fixed on you before you've even found your voice. He's beautiful. He's always been beautiful, and you hate that he is. It would be so much easier if he were grotesque—if his skin were rotting flesh and his eyes were hollow and vacant pits belonging to something long dead, you could recoil. You could run. Instead, you stare, almost forgetting your true intentions for a moment. "Now, this brings back memories." He looms over you, unmoving. His eyes drift to the bed, where your husband is absent. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" "You're killing my husband." He doesn't flinch. Of course he doesn't. He stands there in the center of your bedroom, hands at his sides, and regards you with an expression that teeters on amusement. "Believe me." His gaze drops to your throat, to the cross trembling against your collarbone. A faint smile tugs at his lips. "I would much prefer to have you." There's a silence before you scoff. "Taking the life of the man I love won't make me want you." "Indeed, it won't. You already want me. Yet foolishly, you continue to deny yourself." He is silent for a moment as he watches you clutch helplessly at the cross at your neck. "Look at you. You waited here. Alone, in the dark, to face something that could destroy you in seconds. And you still clutch that thing." His lips curls into a frown. "As if God could ever save you." He takes a few steps forward, leaning down until his lips are at your ear. "But you're a smart girl. You know that He can't." He says, leaning down. One hand reaches for your chin, lifting it to properly meet his gaze. "That's why you prayed to me instead." "I prayed to God." You hiss. "And as always, God did not answer." He drops your chin. Then he moves past you, toward the window. His fingers brush the curtain, and he looks out at the dark street, the bare trees, the distant glint of the river just visible beyond the rooftops. "I was once like you." He says, "I prayed. I prayed for her to heal. I prayed every waking hour at her bedside." His wife. You assume that's who he means. You think of the house he keeps tidy in her memory, the piano that stays tuned for her, but you don't ask. His tone tells you the grief is old, smoothed by the centuries past, no longer a wound but a scar. You swallow the bitter taste in your throat. Selfishly, you dislike the idea of him loving anyone else. The thought is irrational, and deeply shameful, but it surfaces before you can push it back down. "Please do not fret, my love." He says it all too quickly, as if he sensed the shift in you before you felt it yourself. "It was a very long time ago." You open your mouth to protest but the words die on your tongue. He's looking at you with that quiet, knowing expression, and you realize there is no point in lying to a creature who can read your emotions before you've even named them.
"I was merely a fragile human. Hopeful enough to offer God everything. Foolish enough to believe he would answer with anything other than silence." The breeze howls past the window, brushing his hair from his face. "So I found another way. And I have been what I am ever since."
"You were once human, too?" Your voice is soft, curious, and more sincere than you wish it was. He finally turns to face you again, this time with a hint of a smile.
"We are more alike than you know." he holds out a hand to you, and you take it. You let him help you stand, your nightgown catching the wind as you look up at him. "I can smell the shame in you. I've always been able to. It's the same shame I carried centuries ago."
A monster, comparing himself to you. You should feel offended by the way he looks at you, right through you, past the skin and bone, into the soul you've spent a lifetime trying to scrub clean. Though, you suppose he's earned the right. He's been in your dreams for years. He's seen every thought you tried to drown, every aching desire you tried to bury, and how it rots you from the inside. He's seen all of it, and he does not recoil. A man can judge you. A monster cannot. You're horrified to find relief in that thought. "The difference between you and me, however, is that I've stopped pretending to be something I'm not." Your eyes wander to the door briefly, knowing your husband lays peacefully down the hall. "Jake still looks at me as if I'm pure. As if I'm worthy of his love. Even after everything I've done." Your eyes burn, and you blink hard against the sting. "That's all I have, and you're taking it away." "Because I needed to feed. Because you have not given me permission. I cannot take what is mine unless it is offered freely. So I took what was available to me. Your scent on his skin. Your proximity." His eyes hold yours. "Do you understand what that is like? To be bound to someone, to feel their wanting every night, to taste it in the air, and to not be allowed to have them? The blood of animals does nothing. The blood of your husband is unsatisfying. I am ravenous." He steps closer. The space between you shrinks to almost nothing.
"It is not merely blood that you promised me. You offered me your soul. Your life. Your eternal presence. That is what I hunger for—not the taste of you on my tongue, but the whole of you, bound to me as you were always meant to be." His voice drops to a whisper. "Every second I have waited has been a small death. I have died a thousand times since you made your promise."
You know what that hunger feels like. You've carried it your whole life, coiled low in your belly, hot and insistent, never fully quieted. You tried to fill it with prayer. You tried to fill it with your husband's body. Nothing worked. Nothing ever works.
"He is innocent." Your voice splinters. "He doesn't deserve this."
Sunghoon is silent for a long moment. Then he sighs—a soft, tired sound.
"Innocent. Pure of heart. Kind—too kind for a human, if you ask me." He says. "You're terrified of what he'd think. You don't believe his love is unconditional." "How could anyone love this?" A tear slips down your cheek. You had no idea you were on the verge of crying, but you feel it now. The uncontrollable trembling of your body, the sob threatens to escape your throat. Sunghoon's hand rises. His fingers brush your jaw, cool and smooth, tilting your chin upward. You open your eyes. It's the first time you've seen him this close, the moonlight casting a soft glow over his features. His expression is nothing cruel. It's something almost tender, which is far more devastating. "I do." He says. "I love your scent. Your shame. The way you whisper my name in the dark." Your lower lip trembles, and his thumb traces it, feather-light. In fact, all of you trembles. You've stopped trying to decide whether it's out of fear, want, or the draft of winter air. "You offered me your soul long before you ever gave him your hand. That is a promise no ring can compare to." His eyes hold yours, unrelenting. "I love you eternally." His hand trails down your throat. His fingers curl, lightly, around the column of your neck, just holding it, just relishing your pulse beneath his fingertips. The cross dangles between you, and you feel his gaze flicker to it.
"Please understand. I have only ever wanted you. He was merely the vessel I drank from because I could not drink from you." his voice drops to a murmur. "Give me what you promised me. What you've been promising me every night for years. I'm patient. I've waited long, and I can wait longer. Your husband, however..." his eyes drift to the door, an acknowledgement of his fading life down the hall, "He doesn't have the luxury of patience."
"If I refuse, he dies."
Sunghoon doesn't blink. "Yes."
No hesitation. The truth, cold and simple. You feel your hands tighten into fists at your sides.
"That's not a choice. That's not 'asking for permission.' That's a threat." He only laughs in response. "You made a deal with a monster. Did you expect him to play fair?" Sunghoon tilts his head. "I'd argue I've been rather generous. I could have drained him on your wedding night, when he laid hands on what was already mine. Could have left him in your bed, cold and lifeless. But I didn't. I let him live. I even offered him my wine."
He wears the slightest grin, cruel and merciless, and his fangs catch the light. "Aren't I kind?"
"You are vile." You spit. "You are despicable. Awful. And—"
"And you still want me."
The space between you shrinks as he leans closer, until you can feel the chill radiating off his skin, until you can see the faint gleam of the moonlight on his pupils.
"He is not the reason you will say yes."
His voice is quieter now.
"You will say yes because you have been starving for as long as you can remember. Because you have tried to fill that hunger with prayer and penance and the body of a man who loves you but cannot understand you. Because you knelt at your window and begged for relief, and I am the only one who has ever offered it to you. I am the only one who can give it to you." His fingers brush your jaw. Feather-light. "So, go on." He nods, "Tell me what you want." "I want you to leave Jake alone." You hiss. It only makes him grin. You expect nothing less. "And what else?" "I want you to stop making me feel like this." "How do you want me to do that, exactly?" You open your eyes. He's so close now. Your body is trembling—not from the cold, not from fear, but from the unbearable, humiliating effort of holding yourself back. Your thighs press together beneath your nightgown, a needy, restless friction that does nothing to ease the ache. Your pulse hammers in your throat. Between your legs, you're soaked. You've been soaked since he stepped through the curtains. Every inch of you is screaming for relief. Every inch of you has been screaming for years. It's not really a choice. If you pull away, you're letting your husband die and spending the rest of your life mourning a man you loved but couldn't save. Regardless, your body doesn't want to pull away. It made its own choice the moment you knelt at your window all those years ago. Everything since then has been the long, torturous process of coming to accept it. The prayers. The shame. The dreams you woke from, wet and wanting. All of it leading here. To him. "I want you to touch me," you whisper. The words come out ragged, half a sob, half a plea. "I need you to relieve me from this torment. I can't—I can't take it anymore. Please." His hand tightens just barely at your throat.His hand rests at your throat, cool and steady. His touch remains ever patient, and his eyes flicker from yours to your neck like he cannot decide which is more precious to him in this moment. "Say it properly." And you do. "I give you permission. My blood. My body. My soul. Take it. It's all yours. It's always been yours." He exhales—a shuddering, both reverent and ravenous sound.
His hand tightens around your throat, fingers digging into the vulnerable flesh, feeling the pulse hammering beneath his touch, the rush of blood through your veins. He dips his head into the curve of your neck, and the breath he takes in, the groan that rumbles against your skin—they are not the sounds of a man. They belong to a predator who has caught its prey at last and is trying very hard not to devour it all at once.
Your eyes flutter shut.
"If only you could smell yourself right now." His voice comes out rough, almost like a growl, "Your terror, your desperation. Your arousal." He lifts you in a single, clean sweep, as if you weigh no more than a feather. Your feet are off the ground, your body helpless in his grasp, and you don't have the time to react as he throws you down on the marital bed with a force that knocks the breath from your lungs. You barely have time to register the impact before his body is over yours. His knee rises between your thighs, spreading you open beneath him and his hand fists your hair, tilting your head back, baring your throat to the moonlight and his teeth. His gaze drifts down the length of your body, catching on the way your nightgown has ridden up your thighs, on the rise and fall of your chest. He leans forward. "My stubborn, sinful girl. You were never meant for heaven." His fangs press against your pulse, not yet sinking in, but with enough pressure that it makes your breath catch and your body go rigid beneath him. "You were always meant for me." One hand grips your throat, fingers digging into the flesh just beneath your jaw, holding your head in place with a force that borders on bruising. The other rests over your heart, palm flat, enough to feel the frantic rhythm. "So fearful that nobody could love you in the dark, when I have loved you for years." His fangs sink into you, and a cry is torn from your throat, gasping into the dark and your body arches into him without your permission. The sounds he makes are equally as ungraceful and unrestrained— a growl that sounds like it belongs to an animal, a groan that sounds so guttural and almost pained, as if tasting you after all this time is a relief so profound it hurts. You writhe beneath him, but his body holds you steady, his grasp so harsh that it's sure to bruise. The pull of his mouth is rhythmic, hypnotic, each draw of your blood sending a fresh wave of heat spiraling through your core. You are dizzy with it. You are alive with it. You are his, and you have always been his, and the acceptance of that truth is the single most liberating thing you have ever felt. Disgust is a distant flicker, extinguished before it can catch. The pain is already gone. In its place, a pleasure so sharp and bright it borders on agony races through your veins. You shake with it, every inch of you raw and exposed, the sheets a torment against your feverish skin. Your hands find his back and hold on, clawing at his shirt. "What is—?" Your voice is a whiny, pathetic sound, piercing through heavy, laboured breaths. The ache between your legs from before is now throbbing with a sort of want you couldn't even begin to describe. Something unnatural, feverish and all-consuming. "Why do I feel like—?"
"It feels good, doesn't it?" His fangs retract, but his mouth stays, kissing the wound he left behind, lapping up every last drop of your blood. "The venom. It immobilizes prey. Turns pain into pleasure. Though you didn't need much convincing, did you?" A broken sound tears from your throat as his tongue drags down the column of your neck, chasing a stray bead of blood. His hand rips your nightgown higher, baring you to the cold air, and he finds you soaked. You can feel his grin at your neck.
"You were begging to be fucked long before I ever bit you," he whispers, "Long before your nice little husband ever put his hands on you." "Please, Sunghoon," The words tumble out before your pride can catch them. It's wrecked, shameless, and entirely honest. "Just touch me. Please."
He obliges without a word. Your panties are eased down your thighs, the cold air a brief shock against your overheated skin, and then he finds you—slick and aching and desperately ready. A single, long finger slips inside with no resistance at all, and the sound that escapes you is almost a sob. You might cry from just that alone, graciously accepting any kind of touch at this point. You might already be crying, though you don't have the sense to think about it. You're lost in the sensation, clenching around him, your hips rolling forward of their own accord, chasing more. "It feels so much better when you give in." His voice is soft, almost crooning, as his finger moves inside you with excruciating slowness, a rhythm designed to tease rather than satisfy. "When you stop denying yourself." A frustrated sound catches in your throat. Your hips lift, chasing his hand, and he hums in quiet approval. Then a second finger slides in beside the first, stretching you, and the cry that escapes you is louder than before. Your head falls back against the pillow. Your fingers twist in the sheets. And then his fangs are at your throat again—a sharp, searing sting that melts almost instantly into heat. He drinks as his fingers move inside you, a slow, devastating counterpoint: the pull of his mouth, the thrust of his hand, the weight of his body pinning you to the mattress. You are caught between pleasure and surrender, and you have stopped caring which is which. "My sweet little sinner." He pulls back just enough to speak, his lips stained, his breath cool against the wound he left behind. His fingers curl inside you, finding a place that makes your vision blur. "What would he think if he saw you like this? His fragile, innocent wife, offering herself to a monster, begging for more." He thrusts deeper, and your back arches off the bed. "Would it break him? Would it shatter that pure, simple love he carries for you?" The tears come before you can stop them, spilling down your temples and into your hair. A sob tears free, raw and ugly, and you shake your head against the pillow. "No?" His voice is soft, almost tender. His thumb traces your cheek, smearing the tears there. "Use your words, my love." "I don't care." The words rip out of you, jagged and desperate, louder than you intended. Your hips are still rolling against his hand, chasing the climax he keeps just out of reach. "I don't care what he thinks. I just want this." You feel the pressure building, the tightening in your belly, rushing toward the edge faster than you can outrun it.
"Please." The word is barely a whisper now, your voice wrecked and trembling. "Please take me. I can't—I need—please." His fingers still inside you. You cry out at the loss, at the empty ache he leaves behind, and when you open your eyes, he is looking down at you with something like awe. Something like triumph. Something like love, if a monster is capable of love, as he claims. He grabs the front of your nightgown and rips it open. The fabric splits with a sound like a scream. You gasp, arms flying up to cover yourself, but he seizes your wrists and wrenches them away. Forces your hand down between your bodies, pressing your palm against the hard, aching length of him.
He releases you to tear at his own clothes. His shirt. His pants. Then he is bare above you, and the sight is almost too much—the blood on his mouth, the pale plane of his chest, and his eyes, how they devour the sight of you whole, looking at you in all your filth and finding you holy. "I'm going to ruin you." You feel the tip of him at your entrance, and your body stiffens. His eyes hold yours, dark and depthless and full of terrible tenderness. "Just like you begged me to." He sinks into you in one slow, devastating thrust, and your mouth falls open on a sound that might be his name, but before it can escape, his lips find yours. He swallows your cry the way he swallowed your blood, consuming it, claiming it as his own. His tongue sliding against yours, and you taste your own blood on his lips. His mouth never leaves yours, as if he would drink every sound you make, as if there is no part of you he does not intend to devour. You start to cry. Not because it hurts. Not because you're being ruined, though you are, though you've wanted to be. You cry because it's better than your dreams ever were. Because every fantasy you spent years repenting for, every shameful vision that drove you to your knees at the window, was a pale shadow of this. He pulls back to look at you, and the expression on his face is rapture. His hand is wrapped around your throat, holding you steady for each forceful thrust, pinning you to the mattress, to the moment, to him. The rhythm of his hips is relentless and perfect. Every drag of him inside you eases the ache you've carried for so long it has become a part of you, and at the same time deepens it, feeds it, stokes it into something insatiable. The venom only heightens the feeling—pleasure easing your hunger, each stroke pushing you closer to an edge you no longer want to escape. He is the most beautiful creature you have ever seen. You think it without flinching. You think it while tears stream down your temples and into your hair, while your body arches to meet his, while you give yourself over to the monster who answered when God wouldn't. He is beautiful. He is yours. You are his. And you have never felt less like pretending otherwise. He fills you in a way your husband never could. It's terrible and entirely the truth. You have spent weeks trying to use Jake as a remedy—his body, his love, his gentle, faithful hands—and it worked, for a few hours at a time. But the hunger you carry was never something he could satisfy. He was never meant to. That was never the deal you made. This is what you bargained for. What you knelt at the window and begged to feel. You lose yourself in the rhythm of him. The thick, unrelenting drive of his cock. The weight of his body pinning you to the mattress. The way he takes and takes and takes, and still watches you like you are something sacred. His dark eyes hold yours with something that looks like awe. Something that looks like devotion. Something that looks, impossibly, like love. If you even believe that a creature like him can feel love. Though love is the furthest thing from your mind right now. "That's it." His voice is a low growl, rough with pleasure and hunger and the effort of holding himself back. "Cry for me. Let me see you fall apart."
Your nails rake down his back. Your thighs tremble around his hips. The tears are still falling, streaming into your hair, but you don't hold them back. You don't try to hide. You let him watch. You let him see all of it. The surrender, the pleasure, the relief at last. You finish, your high crashing through your body in pulses that leave you gasping, clenching around him, your back bowing off the bed. You cry out his name, and he groans as he feels you break around him, his rhythm faltering for just a moment before he drives deeper, harder, more. You barely have time to come down before his fangs find your throat again. The bite is sharp and sweet, and the venom floods your veins anew—reigniting the fire that had just begun to go out, pulling you back toward the edge you just tumbled over. "More," you plead. The word is raw, scraped clean of pride. "More." He gives you more. He gives you everything. And you take it all of it with your eyes open and your soul laid bare beneath him. More. More. More. The night folded in on itself, a long, delirious rhythm of hunger and satiation, of teeth and hands and the slick press of bodies moving together in the dark. He would drink until you grew faint, then pull back, laving the wound with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and wait for your eyes to flutter open, for your hips to lift in silent, desperate invitation. And then he would begin again. You lost count. It didn't matter. Time had become a thing that happened to other people. You remember, dimly, the sound of your own voice sobbing his name into the hollow of his throat. You remember the weight of him, the cold press of his skin slowly warming with each swallow of your blood. You remember his mouth tracing the length of your collarbone, his fingers mapping the dip of your waist, his voice murmuring things against your flesh. The window stood open through all of it. The curtains drifted. The winter air slipped in, cooling the sweat on your skin, but you never felt cold. You felt nothing but him. Nothing but the slow, spreading heat of the venom and the terrible peace of finally letting go.
The pale, gray light starts to rise in the distance. The hush of early morning. The distant, muffled quiet of a world still half-asleep.
He is still inside you. Still moving a slow, grinding rhythm, more reflex now than urgency, the last shivering aftershocks of a night that had no end. His face is buried in the curve of your neck, his lips parted against the wound that hasn't closed, and his hips roll against yours in a lazy, hypnotic pulse that feels less like fucking and more like breathing.
Your hand is in his hair. Your fingers are tangled in the dark silk of it, your thumb tracing the shell of his ear, and the gesture feels so natural, so intimate, that your throat tightens with something you refuse to name. Then the light shifts.
It spills through the open window, pale gold, the first true ray of a winter dawn. It creeps across the floorboards, slow and searching, and climbs the edge of the bed. It touches your bare ankle. It warms the tangled sheets. It reaches, like a blessing or a blade, for the man in your arms. You watch it happen.
It finds his shoulder first. The light glistens, a luminous sheen on the marble of his skin catching the ridge of his shoulder blade, the curve of his spine, the place where your nails have left their marks across his back. He doesn't notice. His mouth is still at your throat, his body still moving against yours, lost in the rhythm of consumption. "Sunghoon." He lifts his head.
His eyes are black, pupils blown, the irises reduced to thin rings of dark amber. Your blood is on his lips. Your blood everywhere. All over your own lips, all over your neck, your chest and the sheets beneath you. And his skin, his beautiful, terrible skin, is beginning to gleam in the morning light. Every plane of his face limned in gold, the sharp angle of his jaw, the impossible symmetry of his features. He looks like something that fell from heaven and landed wrong. He looks at you. And you see the moment he understands. The light is spreading. It touches his temple. The curve of his ear. The column of his throat. And where it touches, his skin begins to change—taking on a strange, crystalline shimmer, like the surface of fresh snow catching the first light of dawn. It starts to unmake him. He doesn't move. He doesn't flee. He just looks at you, old and tired and almost, almost human. Your hand is still in his hair. You don't pull it back. A broken growl, low but softened, escapes him, and his forehead drops to yours. His eyes close, and for a long, suspended moment, you lie there together in the path of the rising sun. It starts at the edges, before the shimmer spreads a slow, glittering dissolution, like diamonds fracturing along the surface of him. The places where the sun touches him turn luminous, iridescent, and then they begin to separate. He is coming apart in fine fragments, a mist of dust that catches the light and holds it, suspended, before drifting upward on the morning air. His eyes find yours one last time. There's no fear in them. No anger. Just that same dark, depthless devotion. That same hunger. Your body is still humming with the aftermath of pleasure, your thighs slick, your throat aching with the memory of his hands around it. You close your eyes. They're too heavy to keep open.
"More." The last thing you feel is his hand returning to your neck, and his teeth sinking into your flesh once more. The last thing you hear is the sound of his growl as he savours his last meal. Tangled with death, you lay, lips parted in pleasure.
nav ✰.ᐟ m.list ✰.ᐟ thanks for reading ♡
ur statistical analysis on fic length kinda reminds me of how kpop companies have been making short songs to maximize the amount of streams!!! like someone might really really love a 4 min song but will technically stream a 2 min song more bc even if they listen to the longer song for 16 mins and the shorter song for 10 mins, the longer song gets 4 streams and the shorter song gets 5. maybee the time taken to read a fic allows for more reader accessibility even tho longer fics are still preferred/more enjoyed? just a little theory 🥹 i love love LOVE ur long fics and also ur theme is so freaking cute
Yes you’re exactly right! I’m going to go more into depth soon on my findings but to add to your point: this sort of trend is happening in every industry.
The fact of the matter is that social media algorithms reward instant interaction with a post. And longer forms of work (long fics, long songs, long videos, and anything else) take longer to consume and will therefore have a much harder time reaching the same level of popularity/engagement as short form content.
This, as a result, is (probably) part of what is causing us all to have shorter attention spans as we engage and grow accustomed to short-form content. Society wants to consume consume consume and shorter content is faster to make and faster to finish in one sitting and faster to gain popularity.
People still want to consume longer content. It’s just becoming rarer to find.
AND THANK YOU! I’m glad you like the fics and the theme 🥹 I’ve been slowly trying to build my blog to be a little more cute cuz it was very bland before
I regularly reminisce on how it felt to read error 494 the first time I was on the edge of my seat eating up loserhoon with a spoon in one hand and a fork in the other unapologetic loser gamer hoon lives in my mind SO rent free you have no idea (or maybe you do because of how much I talk about loving him HA)
-🫧
AHHHHH 😭 I will never be able to top the loserness of that fic right there. Not even loser Heeseung will ever outdo loser Sunghoon
Now very proud to say that I’ve currently got cheating fic requests for each hyung line member sitting in my inbox lmao
I love all of you
