ADHD isnât an adjective.
Donât ever underestimate how insulting it is to use mental illnesses as adjectives.
Donât ever underestimate how belittling it is to have to explain that youâre serious when you say, âI have ADHDâ.
Donât ever underestimate how humiliating it is to have to listen to people self-diagnose themselves with ADHD because âthey get bored in classâ.
Because ADHD isnât not being able to pay attention because youâre bored.
Because ADHD isnât wanting to avoid your homework because you hate math.
Because ADHD is an actual neurodevelopmental disease.
Itâs not being able to pay attention even though youâre trying to hardest to understand whatâs going on.
Itâs reading the same sentence 20 times and having to go back 21 times because your brain refuses to comprehend what it means. Â
Itâs sitting in a classroom watching the teacher move on while youâre still trying to process a concept from 20 minutes ago.
Itâs getting anxiety over feeling like you canât ask questions because your brain tells you that âany normal person would know this, itâs too simple and embarrassing to askâ.
Or not being able to hold back those questions and interrupting the lesson without meaning to, but your mouth moves faster than your brain can stop it.
Itâs not being able to read because a paragraph just looks like a block of letters that donât connect.
Itâs trying to stay on task despite the fact that every word you hear stems off into a different train of thought that goes off into nowhere.
Itâs feeling like an idiot every time you stare down at your test paper and you can see the problem in front of you but you canât figure out what itâs trying to say no matter how many times you look at it.
Itâs getting angry over the smallest things because your temper flares up faster than you can calm it down.
Itâs constantly wondering if your reactions are valid or whether youâre overreacting to everything.
Itâs getting frustrated because you canât even do basic human functions like sleep at the proper time.
Itâs the mental block at 2 AM when all you want to do is just stand up and go to your bed and go to sleep but your brain is so preoccupied that you canât even move.
Itâs the depression that happens because you know you have a massive pile of work to do and you know that your brain will just look at it and see nothing but sheets of white and black squiggles instead of words on a piece of paper.
Itâs your fucked up sleep schedule that has you napping for 6 hours in the afternoon and staying up all night.
Itâs the periods of hyperactivity that make you feel like maybe you are just faking it, maybe it is just your fault that youâre not focusing.
Itâs feeling just a little more dejected every single time you hear someone say âomg Iâm so ADDâ.
Itâs slowly crumbling inside every time someone tells you to âjust try a little harder, just concentrateâ.
Itâs knowing that the âyeah I know what you meanâs whenever you explain your symptoms are coming from the mouths of people who have never experienced anything more just not wanting to do homework.
Itâs constantly hearing how âeveryone these days has ADHDâ and feeling like youâre an invalid nothing.
Itâs having to deal with your parents not understanding that your brain is not physically capable of functioning properly.
Itâs the slightly concerned-weirded out-scared looks you get from people whenever you canât finish your sentences because you get overexcited.
or those same looks when you explode over the littlest thing and youâre spitting out words faster than you can even think about them.
âCanât you just take medicine for it?â
Do you know what itâs like to have to go through the process of gathering the courage to seek out a good psychiatrist that will properly diagnose you and actually finding a pill that works?
Itâs months upon months of trying different medications every two weeks, some taking a month to build upon with no results to show.
Itâs having to deal with the side effects of stimulants meaning increased anxiety and heart palpitations and losing your appetite.
Itâs listening to neurotypicals joke about how much weight youâve lost because of âthose ADHD pills, haha maybe I should try themâ, when you know that you havenât eaten properly in probably about a year.
Itâs lying to your grandma that you ate lunch that day when you know that you were hiding out in an empty classroom trying to cram for another test to no avail.
Itâs hyperfocusing and rewriting your notes for hours until your hand has bruises from how hard you were holding your pencil because stimulants mean stimulating your OCD and you wonât stop until your notes are perfect.
Itâs still having to struggle on focusing on the right thing and not accidentally using all your energy on something youâll regret at 4 am when your work still isnât done.
Itâs having your ADHD somehow get worse than before and increasing your dosage to try to make something feel better even though the increased anxiety is almost killing you.
Itâs not knowing whether youâre shaking because itâs cold or your body canât handle whatever pill your doctor told you to take that day.
Itâs trying every cocktail of medicine to try to make the anxiety and mood swings go away and fix your sleeping problems and stop your unresting racing heartbeat and having none of them work.
Itâs losing your personality and trying to take advantage of the slightly increased focus by constantly working and losing relationships in the process.
Itâs worrying about the fact that your psychiatrist prescribed you a benzo as a minor and wondering if theyâre actually trying to help you when they push pill after pill on you.
Itâs knowing that the mess of mental illness that plagues your brain doesnât just stop at ADHD, itâs now branched out to OCD and GAD and bipolar disorder and depression.
Thatâs what living with ADHD is. Itâs not being bored or stupid or lazy.
Itâs an actual problem that is severely overlooked and severely underrated so
stop. using. it. as. a. fucking. adjective.