Tires of emotions during boards.
It was 3 in the morning. I woke up with 2hrs sleep, feeling sleepy & anxious. It felt like i'm ready and at the same time i was not. I'm trying to not feel the pressure and leave all the worries behind. I was the last reviewee who went to sleep yet the first one who woke up. Smelled my new white polo which is required to each examinees and wore it. I prayed and tried to go back to sleep but i can't, thoughts popping out. I grabbed my cl hand outs and reviewed it in our lobby, I know to myself that i ainât absorbing anything. Iâm worried and im like 3hrs away from the exact time to take the first subject.
I read the letter that Tyn wrote to me for that day. My heart is full while reading it. I'm teary eyed. I again, prayed to the Lord. I know that i can't make any things without His guidance so i ask for it as much as i can as this is the battle that iâve prepared for months and i donât wanna mess things up plus fail my parents and my Ates who financially supports me.
First day went smooth. Questions are hard but what really had me that day is the Lord's presence. I'm filled with happiness as i felt it. I went directly to church as it's midweek. Went straight to the dorm to sleep but my paranoid self can't help to get my handouts to study. Damn, i hate myself for that. Kuya migs tried to stop me and said it's unhealthy for me to study this late (12am). Given the fact that i only had 2hrs sleep, i know to myself that everything i'll read wont get inside my head. So i listened.
November 20, 2019 (first day!)
It was 4 in the morning. I woke up with four hours sleep and think it's enough to bang a big day. I grab my pc notes, calculator, and a tariff laws reviewers but to be honest i don't know what to review.
I resolve in getting the methods of valuation which i think i forgot so i browse it but before that i tried to solve one pc problem. I'm trying to calm myself as it is the last day of the boards and im too scared. From jeep to while waiting for our que to enter the exam room, i'm reading the mov and yep i finished it hehez(sobrang pasaway). Here the tl comes and shitttttt it was fuckinggg hard!!!! Never thought it would be that hard because i am acing it every diagnostics and mb but shittttttt. When someone told you that you have to take subjects equally YOU.MUST.FUCKIN.LISTEN.TO.THEM. Look what happened to me. Kainis!! I cried on that subject. I just lift it all to Him.o be calm and to not feel the pressure.
November 21, 2019 (second day!)
That's the photo of us after tariff fucking law. We were shookt because they said that we have to memorize the rates of PPAs so damn we crammed. Huhuhu
After the computation. As i was leaving the room area I was shookt that almost everyone is crying. Well, i'm about to cry too but idk why it didn't fell down. Before going to the dorm, all of my classmate who were also assigned in my school were went to the church. Unfortunately, i got no church to ran to because it's still thursday so i have to wait for tomorrow's service. So i decided to eat in Jollibee first, I ordered a lot. I was drained, hopeless, heavy burdened. After i eat, tears started to flow. It was hard. I felt like Iâm not gonna make it. I can't believe that it would be this hard. So I called my best friend, Tyn and she saved me that night. Separate blog for that. So yeah. After that i went to the dorm. Most of them are crying, they also felt my baggage. So I just give it to the Lord.
The next day( November 22, 2019). Tyn and I went to Rizal Park and National Library.
I went there to unwind. And we went directly to Pasay Church. What a nice coincidence wherein there's a concert of AUP Alumni Choir i think. It was sooo good
And they sung "Great is Thy Faithfulness" which is my theme song.
November 23, 2019 I went to church
November 24, 2019 Maâam Rox treated us in a Grand Feast. It was such a good experience. The lights, the message of the songs, the companies.
All was great. We all are aiming to pass and bagging the 100% passing rate. And yep, that night we just give everything to Him.
After our dinner, one of my classmates confirmed that tomorrow will be the release of CBLE passers. We all are shookt. Damn, tomorrow is the day!!
November 25, 2019 Judgement day! I woke up at 9am and check if there's a call from Tyn. I ask her to see the result for me. I want her to be the one to tell me what's the result. I resolve to go in a coffee shop to wait for the call. I bring the book " Desire of Ages" with me and read 3 chapters.
It's around 6pm and no results yet. I was too anxious and at the same time excited. Here comes 7pm and still no results. I decided to go to bonchon to eat and planned to go home because they might release it by midnight.
While eating, my head is going nowhere. I'm too exhausted and anxious. Andd what i ordered is damnnn not worth the price. Urggg. But still, i need to eat it because it was fucking expensive.
7:40pm I received a call from my ate. She's crying and said "Congratulations, Kapatid!" I cried. No, i cried sooo hard. (DAMNNN IM CRYING WHILE TYPING THIS ONE). After the call i close my eyes and pray. I thank Him for being so faithful. I'm still crying while praying so it's really real.
I rush to the coffee shop where I went and use their wifi to check if it's really real. AND IT WAS REALLY REALLLLL. MARAMING SALAMAT PO PANGINOON!!!
I went home with a little celebration.
To my Parents, Ates, Professors, HS Teachers. Friends, Bestfriends. Thank you for the wisdom that i got from each one of you. And of course, to You, Lord. Thank You for being with me through my darkest sorrows. You have seen me fight my silent battles and struggles. Thank You for the blessings oh Lord. May all the Glories be unto You! đ
