“I heard the rumor from a random girl in school. She told me that my boyfriend had gotten another girl pregnant. He’d cheated on me before, so I assumed it was true. But for awhile he denied everything. Then he shifted to blaming the girl. Her name was Stacie. And as the story often goes, I turned all my hatred and hurt toward her. We literally never spoke. And my boyfriend would talk her down every chance he got. I’d occasionally see her when she dropped the baby off at the house. I’d feel such hatred every time the doorbell would ring. She was always so well put-together. There was this unapproachable air about her. Like she was better than everyone else. Worst of all, she had this connection with my boyfriend that I didn’t have. The connection of a child. And that was thrown in my face every time she came to the door. My jealousy created a monster inside of me. I withdrew from everyone. Then one year later I got pregnant myself. I didn’t feel any excitement. Instead there was a moment of clarity. I couldn’t raise a child with this man. He was a pathological liar. For weeks I went back-and-forth. Do I get an abortion? Do I give the child up for adoption? Then one day I made the decision to become a single mother. I remember being so scared. And the first person I thought of was Stacie. It was like: ‘My God, I’ve vilified this woman for so long. And now I’m her. And she is me.’ I picked up my phone and sent her a text. I apologized for everything. And I asked for her support. That was eleven years ago. But we still love to joke about how our horrible taste in men when we were young brought us together. Stacie is my best friend in the world. She’s my person. Our daughters know each other as sisters. At times she’s been my roommate, my biggest confidant, and my maid of honor. Sometimes I think back to those early days, watching her walk up the driveway. I think about all the hatred I would feel. And now it’s her hugs that I need when I’m feeling upset. There have been some bad episodes in my life. But every time I’m down, she shows up. The doorbell will ring on a random Tuesday. At 4 PM. And when I open up the door, there she is. And she’ll give me the biggest hug.”
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