I never felt loss before until my best friend passed away. The last time I saw him was 9/28/16 when he came over to my house. He mentioned he wasn’t feeling well, but he didn’t tell me the extent of how well he wasn’t feeling. What I thought was a stomachache was much more deadly. I think the worst part of it all is I remember the last time I said goodbye when he left my house that night. It wasn’t a normal goodbye. The air felt different as we looked at each other. I didn’t even hug him goodbye - I just said goodbye. I tired reaching out the next day and by the third day I knew something wasn’t right. Calls, texts, messages... not one reply.
I called our friend Chris to see if he had heard from him he told me “Jazzy, you know how Saykoo can be. Sometimes he goes MIA and then comes back.” I didn’t question it anymore and by the next week I get calls from several friends “Saykoo is gone, he’s dead.”
Saykoo had died, all alone, when he was just 22 years old. His heart was too big for his body and without seeing a doctor for so many years, he had no idea. He just dealt with the pain day in and day out until his body decided to give out.
His home life wasn’t easy. His mother was abusive, his father abandoned him, and his grandmother was on her deathbed. Despite all of his hardships he was always so kind and so loving. His heart was what made everyone fall in love with him. He had this laugh that would be so addicting it became impossible not to laugh with him.
We had his service on 10/10/16. It was a reunion of friends with the most unfortunate circumstances. Not a day goes by were I don’t think about you. I wish I could call you up and tell you about my day. I wish I could go back to that day I said goodbye so I could give you the biggest hug I could give and tell you that I’m here for you and that I love you. I wish you could stand there with me when I say “I do” to my husband. I wish you could be there with me in our later years.I’ll miss you forever.
