It's a Mad House.

Jasper Cobain, pleasure I'm sure. . . why am I here? I killed innocent souls just for the hell of it, it was fun, you should try it some time.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

I Need To Get Away || Jasper & Lauryn

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

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[jaspercobain-blog]

“Why do you do that? It’s like .. no matter what I say, you have to throw it back right in my face.” Jasper let his eyes fix on her light brown ones, tilting his head to the side slightly, pursing his lips. He took a deep and lengthy breath, his chest heaving from the deep breath, “Mmm, well we all have our hobbies.” He stated simply, the tone of his voice dripping with a certain hostility that even he didn’t think he was capable of mustering up around Lauryn anymore. It almost shocked him, almost.

He could see that his words were confusing her, upsetting her even. Jasper wasn’t quite sure which emotion was winning the war within her, but he could see both of them swimming deeply behind her eyes. He eventually let his gaze drop from hers so that he didn’t have to see the mixture of emotions and thoughts coursing through her soft brown eyes it only made this little confession all the more harder.

“Jasper .. Y-You don’t have to do this.” He shook his head and placed his hand on his abdomen, his dark eyes fixing on the water, which was reflecting his own image back to him. He swallowed hard and let his eyes drift shut, “Yes, I do.” He replied and looked back up at her, his hand dropping from his stomach and back into the cool water with a slight splash. He continued on with his story and once her words hit his ears he pursed his lips, “I don’t hate you. I .. I can’t hate you.” He knew the feeling; it was something he continued to struggle with the moment she stepped into the office when he had been rummaging around in the files. Ever since then he’d been drawn into her like a moth to a flame – at first all of his emotions towards her were negative, he wanted to watch her suffer. But once their lips touched in what was supposed to be torture, turned into something less violent. The harsh motives lost in the abyss of his hectic mind.

Their kiss had been brief; he couldn’t continue to force all of this onto Lauryn. She didn’t deserve it, no one deserved any of the pain that he inflicted on them. Jasper didn’t think he could ever feel so conflicted with himself, there were far too many emotions racing through him at full speed and he wasn’t sure how to stop them.

There he was again, tugging at his dirty blonde hair like a child, his eyes soft and sad. He was almost positive that Lauryn could see just how much confusion and pain was coursing through him at that very moment and as she reached up and stopped him from pulling on his hair he glanced away from her. “I can’t even begin to imagine how fucking terrifying that must of been. But I know what it’s like to go so long without feeling anything, then having all this emotion just thrown back at you. It’s hard but … you can’t keep pushing people away. It won’t make things any easier.” Every word that fell from her mouth hung heavily in the air between them and he almost felt suffocated by it. He wasn’t strong at the moment that part of him had stepped away and now he was left standing here in the water engulfed by the night air not quite knowing how to respond or what to even do with himself.

Jasper just looked at her, hoping she caught onto the fact that he understood everything she had said and that he was no longer separated from his own mind – he was here fully and every ounce of pain continued to stab at him.

It happened before he could even register it, she had placed her hand under his chin, pulling him closer. Her actions were cautious he caught onto that right away, maybe she was afraid he’d push her away or maybe even just walk away right then and there but what his mind was coiling around was completely different.

Jasper took a quick step forward and placed his hands on her hips, his fingers pressing into her skin slightly – not rough enough to leave a mark or even cause pain but enough to pull her towards him and keep her there. Jasper’s mind swirled around the memory of their encounter in the office, but quickly shook it away not wanting this moment to end the way that did. Deepening the kiss; one of his hands snaked to her back, his fingers trailing delicately along the crevice of her backbone. He was quickly getting lost in the heat of the moment and was now trailing hot kisses along her collarbone and neck. He could taste the water that was still dripping from her skin as he continued to kiss along her neck and jaw line.

None of his kisses left marks though, he wouldn’t want that. Jasper wasn’t hers and she wasn’t his. There relationship was far more complex and granted what they were doing now probably wasn’t going to make things any easier but he’d already stepped off into the deep end. There was no turning back. 

[lilapad-blog]

I love Jasper, yes I do.

[lilapad-blog]

Just missed ya. Yanno.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Hm, well you've seen me...feel free to leave at any time. Preferably sooner rather than later.

[lilapad-blog]

I love Jasper, yes I do.

[lilapad-blog]

[jaspercobain-blog]

Do you want something from me or?

[lilapad-blog]

I love Jasper, yes I do.

I love Jasper, how about you!

[jaspercobain-blog]

[lilapad-blog]

You Wont Remember This In The Morning || Jila

[lilapad-blog]

She sat there quietly waiting to see if Jasper would accept or decline the offer. She was waiting for a no, but hoping for a yes. As soon as his answer left his mouth she wanted to jump up and give him a hug, but she was honestly to drunk to get up and attempt that. Lila nodded at her words and tried to stop the smile that wanted to escape.

Lila curled up in a small ball in her bed. Pulling one of the two blankets over her, she looked over at Jasper, sitting on the chair on the other side of her room. Taking a deep breath she sat up and put her hand to her head. Taking one of the blankets off of her bed she walked slowly over to Jasper and handed him the blanket. “Here.” She said softly looking away from the boy and over to the desk. 

Walking back to her bed she sat on it lightly. Popping off it, but quickly regretting it feeling her head start to rush she bent over and grabbed something from under her bed. Pulling the jar of pickles in her lap she made a small noise of joy. Trying to open the jar, but failing she sat there for a couple minutes trying to open it. Finally opening it, and smiling triumphantly, she took a pickle out. Sticking it in her mouth she chewed it and quickly swallowed. Eating a few more pickles, she sloppily closed the jar then slid it back under her bed in one of her many hiding spots. Normally she’d tell Jasper not to tell anyone about her stash, but she was too exhausted.

Climbing back into her bed, she suddenly felt tired. The affects of the all of the alcohol she had drank, hit her. “Will you move your chair closer?” She asked looking at him. “Please.” She asked blinking a few times. “Just over here.” She said pointing by her bed. “I promise, my breath doesn’t smell as bad anymore.” She tried.

Closing her eyes and hoping he’d move closer, listening for the sound of the chair moving or his footsteps, she fluffed her pillow, and laid her head down upon it. “If that gets uncomfortable there’s always room on my bed for you, Jay.” She said quietly. “And you’d be up before I even got up.. So if you want too. You can. I won’t freak out.” She said making sure the offer was left in the air, and not to push it to far.

Flipping over she laid on her tummy and pulled the covers up to her cheek. Closing her eyes, and trying to make herself comfortable on her bed, she groaned slightly. She was tired, she was so tired. And her bed only made her want to sleep more. But part of her wanted to stay up and talk to Jasper. But her body just wouldn’t let her.

Suddenly it hit her, maybe Jasper was just waiting for her to fall asleep, just so he could leave. She wanted to make sure he would be there if she woke up. She needed him to be. “Wait.” She said flipping over so she was laying on her back. “How do I know you won’t leave?” She said quietly, looking at her best friend.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Jasper watched quietly as Lila curled up on her bed and pulled the blankets up and over her. He met her gaze he kept it there for a moment deciding he was tired of giving her annoyed looks – he figured no matter what he did to her she was just going to keep coming back like some lost puppy or even a boomerang that he’d just continue to throw but in the end it’d come flying right back into his hand. Jasper thought she’d probably like to hear the thoughts coursing through his mind at the moment, but she was probably far too drunk to remember it so he kept it to himself.

Jasper still wasn’t a big fan of the girl, she was far too up beat and loud for him – he liked silence, he hated that she was constantly forcing her acts of friendship onto him but he still couldn’t shake off the familiar feeling of her personality; constantly connecting her to Leslie. He was surprised when she stood up and gave her the extra blanket on her bed, he mumbled a quiet thank you but he doubted she even heard it. If he hadn’t been the one to say it he probably would’ve missed it as well. Jumbling up the blankets onto his lap he let his dark orbs watch as she plopped back down onto her bed, obviously regretting the quick movement as he noticed her wincing. Head rush no doubt.

He soon furrowed his eyebrows once she reached down grabbing a jar of pickles he hadn’t noticed before and struggled opening the jar. He shook his head and rolled his eyes at her frail attempt to open the glass jar and almost offered to help but he bit his tongue just in time for her to open it finally.

Once she had eaten a few of the pickles in the jar she carefully placed the jar back where she had retrieved it and looked up at him with what seemed to be hopefully yet sad eyes. “Will you move your chair closer?” He looked at her, taking a deep breath as she continued to push out a few more slurred pleas.

Everything inside of him was telling him to just storm out of her cell and spat a few obscenities in her direction and continue to give her the cold shoulder but he soon found himself scooting the chair closer, the sound of the metal against the concrete filling the small cell with an unpleasant sound.

“If that gets uncomfortable there’s always room on my bed for you, Jay. And you’d be up before I even got up.. So if you want too. You can. I won’t freak out.”

Jasper’s features stayed emotionless as he listened to her, he had no intention of following her up on that, it was already a big enough step that he was even staying here in the first place – hell, carrying her here was a big step. The room fell silent a part from the sound of her attempting to get comfortable on the prison bed before she quickly turned back to him, her eyes wide almost doe-like.

“How do I know you won’t leave?” Jasper shrugged and pursed his lips, “You don’t.” He said simply, and it was true – he could up and leave at any moment once she was asleep, but he actually hadn’t planned on doing that. His cell was much too far for him to walk to at the moment, he could feel his eyes growing heavier but he was still awake enough that he’d probably be up for about another hour or so, “But I wont leave. Alright?” He reassured, not quite sure why, but he did. Why did she have to remind me of Leslie? Goddammit. He cursed to himself and ran his hand through his hair – agitated. 

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

I Need To Get Away || Jasper & Lauryn

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

Lauryn couldn’t believe this, and it showed in her expression. She raised a thin eyebrow, narrowing to the left slightly. Prying on the subject probably would have just annoyed him, but Lauryn tilted her head to one side, examining him almost.

“You can cut the act, you know.” She said softly, taking a few more steps back into the water. Her hands waded at her hands. “It’s just us here, Jasper. You don’t have to pretend anymore.” Lauryn knew that he wasn’t just going to let his guard down in front of her, not like he had done earlier that evening. He had already showed her the soft side underneath all of that armor. That cold, metal armor with spikes that he had fashioned after his family died. After he killed those kids. To protect himself. Just like you, Lauryn. The thought made her stomach toss uncomfortably but she ignored it.

His words stung slightly, her eyebrows furrowing together. It wasn’t a harsh statement, to say the least. So Lauryn had no idea why it hurt so much. “Actually, I’m just trying to have a bit of fun. You know, a sense of humor?” She smirked slightly, her hands on her hips though she knew he couldn’t see her. “Maybe you should pull that stick out of your ass, Cobain.” Lauryn remarked, poking him softly in the middle of his chest. She smiled, shrugging her thin shoulders. “I’m just sayin’. Prude doesn’t really look good on you.”

Lauryn continued to attempt an escape, not even bothering to check if Jasper had resurfaced. But her chance to get away had been cut short. He had caught onto Lauryn’s foot, dragging her under the water with a soft yelp emitting from her lips. The ocean closed around her, water rushing in through her ears. Luckily, she had held her breath just in time. Lauryn resurfaced quickly, coughing for a moment as she ran her fingers through her short brown hair, moving it out of her eyes. Looking up at Jasper, she glared at him for a moment, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “I prefer criminally unstable.” She offered, crinkling her nose slightly. “You think sleeping with all those dirtbags didn’t damage me.”

The brunette walked towards him, tapping her index finger to her chin. “Can you do me a huge favor?” She asked, tilting her head to the side again. Lauryn placed her hands on Jasper’s shoulders, barely shaking him. “Loosen the hell up.” Her hands dropped, her arms crossing over her chest. He seemed so .. tense. So serious. It bothered her. “You can even crack a smile, you know. I won’t tell anyone, I promise.” She pursed her lips together, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

She took a lazy step away from him, still smiling. “Learn to relax a little, yeah? Life’s too short.” He probably wouldn’t hear a word of what she was saying. Lauryn even half-expected him to scoff and walk away from her, back to shore. Regardless, Lauryn splashed him with water, giggling softly as she took another step back from him, preparing herself for what he was about to do.

[jaspercobain-blog]

“Oh…I know it damaged you.” Jasper replied, his eyes zeroing in on hers, the tone in his voice serious and confident of his reply, “It’s not too hard to catch onto that.” He added and watched hesitantly as she stepped towards him, Jasper half preparing himself incase she decided to push him under the water again. Once she had placed her hands on his shoulders, his let his gaze fix on one of her hands, unsure of what her intentions were. “Loosen the hell up.” Her words filtered through his ears and he let his eyes fix back onto her face.

Jasper wasn’t sure why Lauryn was even trying so hard to get him to loosen up, she should hate him – loathe every aspect of him, it confused him that she was even saying these things.

“Life’s too short? I’m in a prison…I already consider my life to be over.” He replied as she stepped away some. He caught onto the slight nervousness in her mannerisms – she was probably expecting him to be angry that she was telling him these things but it was actually the exact opposite. Jasper wasn’t angry at all. He smirked slightly as she splashed him with water and simply shrugged off the action and listened as she laughed quietly.

“I’m not one to loosen up anyway…” He shrugged and splashed her back half-heartedly. Not anymore, that is, he wanted to add but kept that part to himself.  Since the accident Jasper wasn’t even sure if he remembered how to not be so serious and harsh all the time. It was like he still had his memories from before the accident and he remembered when he used to be a good person. But he was no longer in control of what he said or did the majority of the time.

Jasper let his gaze drift to the water before speaking up again, “Have you ever had an out of body experience?” Jasper looked up slowly and raised his eyebrow, not really expecting an answer from her. He was aware that his question was out of the blue and he wasn’t even sure if what he was going to say would make sense but he continued anyway, “If you have you know that it’s like you’re detached from your own body – almost as if you’re watching everything happen from the sidelines and you have no control over what you say or do…” His voice trailed off as he ran his hand over the top of the water he wanted her to understand him.

“I wanted to kill them, I don’t know why, but I did.” He managed a weak smile and looked back up at her, “And even though my whole life after the accident has been some out of body experience, it was like I was there that day…fully there, but I still didn’t have control of what I said or did. Yet there was still a part of me that wanted to kill those people. You see something took over me that night of the accident, it’s had a hold of me ever since. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same as I was before it happened.” Jasper paused and sighed slightly, shaking his head, “This all probably doesn’t make sense, I don’t even know if I understand it myself.” Lowering himself into the water some, “But…I just want you to see that even though I’m here right now…I’m not at the same time. I don’t have control of myself anymore.” Shrugging he stood up fully and stepped closer to Lauryn, his dark eyes meeting hers. The glow of the moonlight causing her to look even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Whenever you pushed me away…said those things, I was fully there that moment. It scared the shit out of me.” His tone was quiet and hesitant. It was true though, whenever she had done that the old Jasper was back at that moment and whenever it was like that he always felt less empty.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this, maybe I want to thank you in some weird way. Even though you should hate me.” He added honestly and ran a hand through his blonde hair, stepping towards her a little more.  

Jasper honestly had no earthly idea why he was telling her all of these things; maybe it was because she had already seen him weak and vulnerable. Why should he continue to hide?

Jasper sighed quietly and ran his tongue over his lips, letting his gaze meet the water once more. His mind was wandering aimlessly before he decided to meet her gaze once again. Jasper continued to move closer until they were merely centimeters apart, he could even feel the heat radiating off of her body. He half expected her to push him away from her but as he drew closer and she did nothing her just took that as an opportunity to continue through with his crazy thought of kissing her.

Jasper reached up slowly and placed his hand on the side of her face, his eyes meeting hers before he let them drift her lips, slowly he brushed his lips against hers not once but twice before he finally pressed his lips against hers fully, snaking his other hand around and onto the small of her back pulling her closer to him. The kiss lasted momentarily before he mentally cursed himself quickly breaking the kiss and stepping back, he shouldn’t be doing this; it was only going to cause more unneeded trouble and Jasper didn’t want that.

“Sorry.” He mumbled and pulled at his hair nervously – the old Jasper had returned.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

I Need To Get Away || Jasper & Lauryn

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

For a second, Lauryn wasn’t even sure if Jasper was going to take up her offer for a late night swim. Why would he? She raised an eyebrow at him playfully, her lips turning up into a smirk to match her expression. In that moment, she had expected him to walk away from her. Maybe call her a few more colorful names while doing so. Lauryn had already begun to prepare for the worst, but as he kicked off his boots. Her eyes lit up. It wasn’t until he had reached to take off his shirt that she had dropped her gaze, tearing her eyes in a different.

It did nothing though. In the corner of her eye, his pale skin shined off the moonlight making him look even more perfect than she had expected. Lauryn had scene dozens of men in the nude. All shapes, all sizes. Some toned, some not. But none of them compared to Jasper. Even in the blur of her peripherals, she knew that none of those helpless perverts matched up to him. He was beautiful, in an extremely dangerous way. She wasn’t looking, but the sound of his pants hitting the sand made her blush. Lauryn took a few more steps backwards, the water coming up just a few inches above her shoulders. It hadn’t been as cold as she had expected it to be, but goosebumps had risen all over her body.

And frankly, she wasn’t sure if that was because of Jasper or the temperature of the ocean.

“When will you learn that nothing scares me?” His voice barely registered in her mind, reaching her ears as if he was a million miles away. Lauryn was absolutely captivated by him. The moonlight glowed against his skin, his chest toned, those arms that had wrapped around her on for than one occasion. Lauryn’s hand twitched at her side as she tried to fight the urge to reach for something. “That’s bullshit. Everyone’s scared of something.” And didn’t Lauryn knew it. As much as she hid it, there was a lot that scared her. The simpler way to put it was that she was afraid of fear itself.

Jasper fully submerged himself within the water, and Lauryn didn’t fight the grin that that separated her lips. He was letting loose around her, finally. The idea both scared her but intrigued her at the same time. “Do you do this often? Swim with murderous inmates at night?” She shrugged her shoulders, laughing under her breath. “Only on Tuesday and bank holidays.” She replied smugly, taking a few steps towards him.

“But you know what I’ve always wanted to do?” She whispered, stopping a few inches away from him. Lauryn reached up, removing a strand of wet hair from his dark eyes. In one quick instant, one of her feet had been placed on the back of his knee, her hands pushing down on his shoulders as she dunked him underwater. Lauryn let out a loud laugh, feeling away from him quickly Lauryn had know idea what had possessed to make such a bold mood. Maybe because she wanted the Jasper back that she had seen earlier, but she wanted to see him happy.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Jasper looked at the brunette as she called him out on his claim of not being scared of anything, his eyebrows raised slightly, “I may have my weaknesses, but scared of something? Nothing scares me.” Jasper shrugged slightly the water sloshing around him as he did so.

The air wasn’t too cold, but once he had submerged himself in the water fully the pleasant breeze became slightly colder against his now wet skin. Jasper actually let out a soft laugh as Lauryn answered his question in a joking yet serious manner, the smug look on her face causing him to roll his eyes. “You’re full of shit.” Jasper retorted quietly and ran his hand through his damp hair, Lauryn’s voice meeting his ears once again as she started making her way over towards him.

“But you know what I’ve always wanted to do?” That phrase rang through his ears and she continued to move closer reaching her hand out and brushing some of the hair away from his eyes. Jasper didn’t have much time to register what was happening but just as he did he was already being pushed under the water, he managed to hold his breath just in time to be submerged by Lauryn pushing him into the dark water. He felt a rush of water brush against him as the girl quickly swam away from him, her loud laughter hitting his ears dully from under the water. An idea brewing in his mind as he quickly opened his eyes under the water – doing so didn’t do much considering the water was so dark but he saw a slight blurry figure in the distance and he quickly swam towards it, attempting to swim under the water swiftly enough so that she wouldn’t see or hear him coming.

Quickly he reached out and grabbed onto the girl’s leg and pulled her under the water while he quickly swam up to the surface, a slight smirk playing on his lips. Shaking his hair out swiftly he waited for the girl to come back up to the surface. Once she did his smirk grew and his eyes glistening with amusement and slightly annoyance to the fact that she had pushed him into the water in the first place.

She was definitely bold; he’d give her that. As much as he wanted to be upset with her, he couldn’t bring himself to voice it. It was almost like being in the office all over again that soft demeanor showing far too much. Jasper was almost tempted to just swim back to the shore, get dressed and head back to his cell – avoid talking to Lauryn at all cost, but he couldn’t. Jasper stayed put, that same amused smirk playing on his lips as he stared at the girl, “You’re a brave one aren’t you?” He questioned, his voice quiet and calm, yet the amusement in this tone still rang through.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

I Need To Get Away || Jasper & Lauryn

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

If this has been a regular day, Lauryn would have flinched. His words were always so harsh, so cold. He always knew exactly what to say so his voice seeped under her skin, hitting her in her most delicate spots. But this .. this was different. His statement was, itself, was harsh. Or at least, he attempted it to be. He was trying. Lauryn furrowed her eyebrows together, offering him an extremely confused look. Why did he seem so lost? Jasper wasn’t a soft person, or he wasn’t supposed to be. But as she had seen in her cell earlier that day, it was obvious that he was capable of actual emotions. Lauryn felt her body grow warm, recalling the way he had held her. “I just didn’t figure you for someone who strolls outdoors in the middle of my night.” She remarked, her tone soft but she bowed her head in mock apology. “Because I guess I should learn not to assume things about you.” She should have known better by now. It wasn’t that she was surprised by Jasper’s sudden change in behavior. She was more suspicious that it was all some kind of pathetic act.

Even as she walked away from him, Lauryn listened carefully for any sudden movements. Her body still wary that he might try to attack her like he had in the obvious. Or maybe she wanted to. As she walked closer to the water, her body relaxing as the warm ocean water engulfed the top of her feet, those thoughts of what happened between them came flooding back.

His lips against her own, their bodies pressed together. The heat that passed through the two of them, Lauryn couldn’t comprehend the feel. It quite sickened her, especially since she found herself missing it. “If you think I’m following you, you’re wrong.” His voice made her jump slightly, her heart leaping into her throat. But Lauryn just rolled her eyes .”I get it.” She told him, her tone sharp. They were working in opposites. His voice was soft and gentle as he was trying to put back the wall that Lauryn had unknowingly torn down. But, she had always put her cold, metal armor. Her statements cold abrupt. “You’re not actually obsessed me. I’m not your type anyway.” If he even had one - the young woman wasn’t sure.

But Lauryn Filo wasn’t anyone’s type. She was the type of girl men had lusted after in her city. But this was different. She didn’t fall in love - she couldn’t. She never got the sparks and butterflies that came with such a catty emotions. Love wasn’t safe. It made her vulnerable, and that was something that she never had been.

 He stepped next to her, not to close, of course. The urge to reach for his hand and hold it in her own hit her like a freight train, making her arms that were wrapped around frame tense up slightly. Her eyes watched as the water rippled, and crashed against the rocky shore that was not too far from them. The sea air hit Lauryn’s nose, making her head spin. As much as she didn’t want to be, she was fully aware of Jasper’s presence.

“I can go back inside if you’d like…I hate being out doors anyway. Just figured I’d give it a chance.” Her chocolate brown eyes softened, she took her bottom lip between her teeth, looking away from him. “Don’t. It’s better out here. It’s where I come to think when things get too much.” Her voice was careful and slow, as if she was doing her best to watch what she said. “I feel like I could be suffocating and I come out here .. and it’s like someone took a weight off of my lungs.”

A dry laugh left her lips as she looked back up, her eyes going to the moon that hung bright and full in the sky. “Do you swim?” She asked, tilting her head to one side as she looked up at him. Lauryn nodded her head to the water, smiling. “Come on.” Without hesitation, Lauryn pulled her cardigan off of her arms, then her t-shirt - her pajama bottoms following shortly after, leaving her in her bra and underwear. She walked further out into the water, not even bothered to look back at him until she was up to waist.

Lauryn turned to look at him, blushing slightly - not that it was noticeable because it was dark. “I won’t try to drown you, I promise.” She held her hands up innocently, grinning before leaning down and splashing water in his direction. “Or are you scared, Cobain?” She began backing up, never taking her eyes off of him until the water was just below her chest.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Silence had fallen between the two, the only sound audible were the waves crashing against each other in a calm and soothing way, the sloshing of the water bringing back those all too familiar memories of his family. Rubbing his eyes quickly, the sound of Lauryn’s voice brought him back to the present, “Don’t. It’s better out here. It’s where I come to think when things get too much.I feel like I could be suffocating and I come out here .. and it’s like someone took a weight off of my lungs.”

Jasper’s gaze drifted to his black boots once she had finished talking – that’s how being at the beach used to make him feel. Now being there was just some horrible nightmare waiting to be relived over and over again until he broke down. “Do you swim?” Jasper looked up at Lauryn, his brows furrowing slightly. He watched with slight alarm as she quickly began to rid herself of the clothing she had on and Jasper immediately diverted his eyes towards the prison in the distance, avoiding watching as she continued to take off her clothes. Upon hearing her stepping into the water he finally looked back at her, her back facing him as she waded into the dark water. He felt his face grow flushed as he took in her appearance, the feeling of her lips against his own beginning to seep back into his memory, but he quickly pushed it away.

“I won’t try to drown you, I promise. Or are you scared, Cobain?” Jasper shook his head in disbelief as he continued to keep his eyes locked on the girl standing waist deep in the water, her skin seemingly glowing from the moon hanging high in the night sky. Everything in him wanted to just force a harsh and hasty reply onto the girl and then walk away, make his way back into the prison. But there was also a part of him urging him to step into the water. Why the hell not? He thought to himself while slowly taking in a deep breath of fresh air as he quickly kicked off his boots and rid himself of his clothing except for his boxers. Jasper made sure to set his clothes aside so that the tide wouldn’t catch them and carry them into the water before slowly making his way into the cool water.

“When will you learn that nothing scares me?” Jasper replied finally as he continued to make his way towards Lauryn. That was a complete lie, there were many things that Jasper feared but he wasn’t really up for playing the vulnerable card more than he already was unwillingly at this point.

Jasper had to keep his eyes off of the girl or else he’d find himself staring. Lauryn was an extremely beautiful girl and anyone would be stupid to say otherwise. Jasper may be a soulless being at times but that didn’t mean he didn’t still have weaknesses that every living thing has to encounter at one point or another. In short, he was still a male and seeing Lauryn in the water knowing that all she had on was her underwear and bra caused him to feel slightly uncomfortable. Merely because of what had happened before in the office.

Once he was a few feet away, Jasper stopped walking and let his dark eyes meet Lauryn’s light brown ones before letting his gaze drift down to the moonlit water.

Jasper felt the urge to say something but continually drawing blanks in his mind. Sighing slightly he hesitantly went fully underwater, the cool water continuing to relax him. Coming back up he quickly hand his hands through his hair, shaking the water out of it slightly before glancing at Lauryn, a slight smirk twisting onto his lips, “Do you do this often? Swim with murderous inmates at night?” Jasper questioned, not quite sure why he was asking, but he felt the need to say at least something instead of letting the silence envelope them.

[lilapad-blog]

Anyone else up?

[lilapad-blog]

Then that just means you’ll get more hugs. Every time you touch me unless it’s a hug, you’re getting a hug.

[jaspercobain-blog]

I can handle that -- I'll just push you away each time. Have fun being acquaintances with the floor.

[lilapad-blog]

Anyone else up?

[lilapad-blog]

I can deal with that.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Hm, perfect. I'll probably push you to the ground more often then. Not just when you hug me. 

[lilapad-blog]

Anyone else up?

[lilapad-blog]

Fine. No more hugs. Tonight. Take whatcha can get.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Fine. Don't complain when I push you onto the ground the next time you hug me.

[lilapad-blog]

Anyone else up?

[lilapad-blog]

Jay!

[jaspercobain-blog]

Please stop fucking hugging me.

[lilapad-blog]

Anyone else up?

[jaspercobain-blog]

Unfortunately, I'm awake.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

I Need To Get Away || Jasper & Lauryn

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

This meant nothing to me. You mean nothing to me.

The harsh words played over and over in her mind, hurt clouding her chocolate brown eyes. Lauryn’s mind felt like it was all over the place, as if she was having a war within herself. She had been so cold to him, so unfeeling. And that just wasn’t who Lauryn was, but he had pushed her. Giving into Jasper’s actions was the only way that she had been able to get out of that office without getting hurt  - or worse. She took her bottom lip between her teeth, running her fingers through her short hair.

She wanted to go to him. She wanted to barge right into his cell - scream at him, hit him, hurt him. Something. Lauryn let out a sigh of frustration, stretching her thin legs out in front of her. The ocean drew forward, engulfing most of the shore recoiling back again. Lauryn shut her eyes, placing her head in her hands as she listened closing to the sounds around her. Being in Paradise, this had to be her favorite part. Whenever she felt like the world was closing in, she would sit out here. Her muscles relaxed slightly, at least for a little while.

“Hello, Kitten.” Lauryn’s eyes snapped up, fear coursing through her at the sound of his familiar drawl. But there was something different in his voice. Something soft. Her eyes slowly lifted, lips pursed together. Not tearing her gaze from him, Lauryn stood up, arms crossed securely over her chest. “What are you doing out here?” Her tone was soft, careful but worst of all, shaken. “If you’re back to remind me how disgusting and wrong my acts of adultery were, I’d rather not hear it.”

Turning her back on him, Lauryn walked closer to the ocean and kicked off her shoes, the cold water licking the tips of her toes.

[jaspercobain-blog]

It was already too late to turn back he had taken a chance by speaking up and she acknowledged him. Jasper watched cautiously as she stood up from where she had been sitting, her arms crossed over his chest as if attempting to coil away from him slightly – like she was nervous or frightened. He didn’t blame her of course he’d done so many horrible things to her and said things that were unforgivable. “What are you doing out here?” Jasper furrowed his eyebrows, shrugging slightly, “Am I not allowed to come out here?” He questioned, there was a slight tint of bitterness in his voice but it was washed away by that goddamned soft tone that kept overtaking him.

“If you’re back to remind me how disgusting and wrong my acts of adultery were, I’d rather not hear it.” Jasper winced inwardly at those words and let his eyes drift to the golden sand beneath them, shaking his head. Taking a deep breath he looked up and noticed that she had begun walking towards the water, now barefoot.

Maybe he should just go back inside, the urge to do so was nagging at him constantly but his feet stayed put and he just let his dark eyes bore into the girl as she walked away towards the shoreline. “If you think I’m following you, you’re wrong.” He said simply as he too began walking towards the water. He debated taking off his black boots but the thought of putting them back on seemed like far too much effort.

Jasper stopped walking once he had stepped next to the girl, the two of them a few feet apart. He hastily stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared out into the water. The moon glistening off of the small whitecaps that were forming from the gust of wind that continued to whip through ever so often.

The smell of the water made him think off all those trips to the beach with his family and he sighed quietly, attempting to hide the fact that he was now growing uncomfortable with the thought of his family.

Jasper tried his best to clear his mind, but the only thing he could think about now was how much softer the prison has made him. Before he was thrown in here his mind was almost like a black hole. He had no emotions, no remorse – he was a robot. But now, now he was struggling with two completely different versions of himself in his mind and it was driving him insane.

Glancing over at the slim brunette he pursed his lips, “I can go back inside if you’d like…I hate being out doors anyway. Just figured I’d give it a chance.” He shrugged and looked down at the dark water that was near their feet. 

[lilapad-blog]

You Wont Remember This In The Morning || Jila

[lilapad-blog]

Lila groaned as Jasper moved his foot out from under her head, “Hey Mister, I said don’t move!” She said pointing her finger up in the general direction he was in last time she looked. Opening her eyes to see if he was still there she saw him bending down, confused she cocked her head to the side and looked at him. Feeling him wrap his arms around her and pick her up, she smiled happily. “Where are we going?” She asked dreamily. Resting her head on his chest, she buried her face in his chest due to his complaints of her breath.

“My cell?” She repeated. Opening her eyes, she kept her face in her chest. Lila had absolutely no clue where they were, and she had no clue how to get back to her cell. She was like a child lost in the middle of Disneyland. Closing her eyes she thought hard and gave Jasper directions to her cell. Lila held tightly onto Jasper. Holding her hands almost to the point where they were white she sighed quietly. “I feel like I’m a Princess and you’re my Prince taking me back to my castle.” She said with a smile in her voice.

Placing a kiss on his cheek as he set her down on her bed, she unwrapped her arms and put them by her face and cuddled into her bed. “It was fun, Jaspy. Don’t lie.” She said yawning and closing her eyes. “We just bumped into each other, it was fate.” She said opening her eyes and looking at the boy in front of her.”Thank you.” She said yawning loudly.

“No!” She cried hysterically. Grabbing onto his arm, she held on for dear life. “Please don’t go.” Lila absolutely despised spending the night alone in her cell. Her nightmares haunted her every night but they were worse when she was alone. And she knew she was too drunk to make it one of her regular place’s to crash for the nights cell. “Please don’t go, Jasper.” She said sitting up. Tears started to rapidly fall down her face. “The nightmares.” She said looking up at him, still holding on tightly to him. “I know he can’t hurt me when you’re here. They weren’t bad when I spent the night in your cell, I didn’t wake up crying or screaming.” She said quietly. “Please don’t go, Jasper. Just stay with me tonight. Please.” She begged.

If Jasper left, she’d be a wreck. The nightmares were bad enough when she was sober, they were terrifying when she was drunk. Sure, being drunk helped her until she had to go to sleep. It helped her forget about her problems, have fun and just be carefree. But when it came to go to bed, everything became eery. Everything became a threat. She just wanted Jasper to stay and protect her.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Jasper had just been about to walk out of Lila’s cell when he felt the girl grab onto his arm roughly – he shot here a cold glare, but that soon turned into a look of confusion and slight annoyance. “Please don’t go, Jasper. The nightmares. I know he can’t hurt me when you’re here. They weren’t bad when I spent the night in your cell, I didn’t wake up crying or screaming.” Jasper stood there quietly the same expression painted on his features as he stared at the girl while she slowly began to cry.

Fuck, I hate it when people cry…he thought to himself and ran his hand that wasn’t being held by Lila through his hair nervously. Jasper wasn’t quite sure what it was that was making him so vulnerable to her pleas but there was just something in the back of his mind telling him not to abandon the girl. Maybe it was the fact that she continued to remind him of his sister Leslie – although his sister had never been drunk, the resemblance from the brunette’s vulnerability and that certain glimmer in her eyes made him give in.

Sighing gently he stopped fighting against her grasp and let his arm fall slightly limp as if to tell her that he wasn’t going to go anywhere.

“Fine…” He stated coldly and ripped his hand away from her grasp, shooting her another harsh glare, “This is a one time thing, Stutter Princess. Don’t expect it to happen every goddamn night, understand?” Jasper raised his eyebrow, and took a seat on the chair that was pressed up against the wall.

Leaning back in it some he securely crossed his arms over his chest and let his eyes fix on the many scattered pictures on Lila’s cell wall. It made him think of their conversation the other night in his cell and he had to force himself to look away from all the smiling faces in the pictures.

“Keeping me here with you isn’t going to solve your problems you know…” He started and let his dark eyes meet her brown ones, “It’s only going to make it worse, spoil you even…learn to deal with it on your own and get over it.” Jasper had things along those lines to Lila numerous times, and although she always said that she understood and that she’d try her best to work past the fear of men that was hidden beneath her bubbly personality, he knew that she’d always have to suffer with that underlying fear.

“Just go to sleep, I wont leave, ok? Just…go to sleep.” He stated simply and leaned his head against the wall, letting his eye shut briefly – he was far more tired than he had realized before and he could see himself falling asleep in this chair soon.

He hoped that Lila would listen to his demand and go to sleep, considering he hated putting up with people who were intoxicated. It dried his patience not that he really had any to begin with – but it always seemed to make him all the more hostile.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

Hey.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

Honestly. Your shock factor is seriously lacking.

[jaspercobain-blog]

Sorry, I'm not feeling very up to par today. 

Forgive me..

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

Hey.

[lauryn--f-deactivated20120715]

~without thinking, Lauryn whips the book that was just in her hands at Jasper, eyes blazing.

Funny. You seem to have taken quite a liking to this whore. At least, that’s what you’re dick said. Your lies and insults are useless here. I’m bulletproof, babe.

[jaspercobain-blog]

*chuckles slightly at the fact that she had chucked the book at him, shaking his head he glances at her with a slight smirk playing on his lips*