i'm a mess

Fuck me or fuck off.

[ofaziz-blog]

-

Don’t state the obvious. 

[jaxstop]

"How'd you manage to call her by the wrong name?"

[httpjordan]

Eeenie meenie miney moe, catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers let him go, eenie meenie miney moe— My mother told me to pick the very best one and [pauses] You. 

[httpjordan]

[jaxstop]

"Who-- me? I- I'm so honored. I wasn't expecting this at all. Where do I even begind? Well, first of all, I'd like to thank my dog, Esme, and my dear friend, Parker, for choosing me. Thank you, Parker. Now where the fuck is my crown?"

[ofaziz-blog]

I love someone, and she doesn’t love me. I don’t understand! I sent her at least 100 roses for her birthday along with a mixtape I made just for the occasion and I thought we were just fine until I called her by the wrong name on accident. I don’t think I’ll ever get ove - oh, who’s that?

[jaxstop]

"You, my friend, are a fucking idiot."

[spruiten]

I woke up at like 5 AM thinking I was being suffocated to death but instead it was my cat who thought it’d be fun and comfortable to sleep on my face, thanks pal, love you too.

[jaxstop]

"This is why I prefer dogs over cats. They don't try to make a bed out of your face when you're trying to sleep."

[gosvde]

-

"You’re such an asshole. Did you know that? Don’t blame me for having a life. Why would I Skype fifteen of my family members? That makes no sense, Jax. You never make sense, which explains why that was such a ridiculous idea. And that’s a ridiculous excuse. You still could’ve called me. Even though I would’ve yelled at you, and I would’ve burst one of your eardrums, you still could’ve called. You’re giving out all these excused and all I’m hearing is ‘blah, blah, blah’. You have gotta’ give better excuses than that. You can come off like that, sometimes. But I still love you, so it’s whatever. I can teach a bulldog to stand on its hind legs, so."

[jaxstop]

"Since when is going to visit your family considered having a life? That's rather sad, if you ask me. I skype my family all the time, what are you talking about? You just help them set it up over the phone and then boom you see them on the screen. See? No need to fly across the country and leave me. Awh, are you saying you wanted me to call you? Did you miss me that much my dear, dear Dominique? Do I really give off that rapist vibe? 'Cause that's not exactly what I was aiming for. I was aiming for more of a 'mysterious, drunk, handsome stranger that will give you the best shag of your life' vibe. I love you too, Dom. Good luck with that, I'll pay you good money to see that happen."

[fvkstella]

-

You’re a smart dude, congrats. I thought I was gonna have to kick you in the balls next, but I’m very glad it didn’t have to come to that. But, yeah — people have no sense of boundaries these days. It’s disgusting. 

[jaxstop]

"Thanks, I'm quite honored and glad that you didn't kick me in the balls. That would have been rather painful. It's just plain weird. Like, hey I'm down to fuck just as much as you are, but if you want to get in bed then try actually talking to me instead of just grabbing my ass."

[millselizabeth-deactivated20150]

-

     ”Kidnapped? Oh, no - people don’t really do that. That’s just a story to scare children; don’t be silly. — And you’re..not one of those “‘greedy snobs?’”

[jaxstop]

"No, I'm pretty sure that it actually happens. Especially to attractive girls like yourself. If I was I'd probably driving to my mansion in a mustang instead of walking to shitty apartment, so no I'm not. What's your name?"

[millselizabeth-deactivated20150]

-

     ”Really — it’s important that I stay. I don’t really have another option, actually.. Thank you. Is everyone like this? So..generous, I mean.”

[jaxstop]

"Everyone has another option. Who are you waiting for anyways? Are they really that important that you want to risk getting kidnapped? Generous, not so much. I mean, sure, there are people like that, but it's mostly just greedy snobs."

[gosvde]

-

"Are you honestly blaming me for leaving you out here all by yourself? It’s not my fault, Jax. I had to go visit a few family members. You know that, so shut your face. You could’ve called me, though. You didn’t have to fend for yourself. I’ve taken care of you before, just by the sound of my voice, so shut the hell up with that. You act like you couldn’t call anyone. You could’ve asked some girl to give you a ride. All ya’ have to do is stop getting drunk, and maybe you won’t have that problem, anymore. But I’m back, and you don’t have to worry about that happening, now. Stop complaining so much."

[jaxstop]

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing actually. There is something called Skyoe? You could've talked to them on there? You see, I would've called, but I had no idea what time it was over there and I didn't want to call you at, like, five in the morning and ask you about how weird noses are. 'Cause then you would've yelled at me to go to bed even though I was in the middle of some small ass town next to Beverly Hills. Asking a girl for a ride would've been a good idea, but she probably would've thought I was a rapist. Ha, ha, ha. That's a good one. Really. But, the chances of me not getting wasted are about the same as a bulldog standing on it's hind legs."

[fvkstella]

-

Call me adorable as you please, but don’t expect it to get you anywhere, yeah? Seriously, though, wait a sec — if I just said no, you think that gives a guy the right to keep forcing himself on me? Like, if I was straight, you don’t honestly think that’d be okay for the dude to grope my ass, do you?

[jaxstop]

"Nah, if I was trying to get anywhere with you or any other person I'd use something better than adorable. But, you've mad it pretty clear that you're not exactly interested in my type, so I won't even try. That is not what I meant, but okay. I just meant that those are two very different ways of telling someone that you're not interested. Groping someone's ass if you don't know them is pretty annoying and disrespectful, so no. I don't"

[gosvde]

I don’t really understand why people bother treating other people like absolute shit, or why people feel the need to down others just ‘cause they’re not having a great day. And I don’t understand why people think it’s okay to talk about other people in a different language, when they think the other person doesn’t understand them. But guess what, people — there are people in this world who are bilingual and there are people that are fluent speakers in that language. Just because that said person doesn’t look like they can understand what you’re saying, there’s a slight chance that they do. So, I’m gonna’ begin telling y’all what happened while I was on my flight back to Santa Monica, from Miami. These two girls, probably around the age of twenty-one or twenty-two, were in these two seats next to me, and I had put my music on pause, since the pilot had a few things to tell us in regards to the plane landing. And I overheard one of ‘em saying how I was such a loser for not having an iPhone 6, and that I probably didn’t have enough money to pay for it, ‘cause I looked ‘poor’. And I’m just gonna’ add that wearing some sweats, a t-shirt and some Nike slip-ons, doesn’t make you poor. It means that you actually wanna’ stay comfortable while you’re on a four or five hour flight. But they weren’t speaking in English, no — they were speaking in French. So, me being the ‘friendly’ type; I used that word loosely — I turned to them and said, 'Je pourrais regarder pauvres mais au moins je peuz me permettre un e brosse a dents, et du dentrifice, salope.'  They looked so surprised and embarrassed when I told them that, and they kept on apologizing but I just ignored them and continued listening to my music. They never said another word after that. I don’t know if it was because they didn’t want anyone else smelling their breath, or if they didn’t want me speaking to them, but I felt pretty dang good about myself. Treat others how you wanna’ be treated. My mom always told me that if you can’t take the heat, then get outta’ the kitchen, and those girls obviously stayed outta’ the kitchen. Don’t let people walk over you. You better let your voice be heard, so they’ll end up knowing that you’re not a force to be reckoned with.

[gosvde]

[jaxstop]

"That's what you get for leaving me alone to fend for myself for a long time. You know I had no one to call when I was drunk and in the middle of nowhere? And I actually had to walk fucking home on my own. In the middle of the night. Drunk and cold. You evil monster."

[millselizabeth-deactivated20150]

-

     ”No, I.. I need to wait. He’s supposed to be here at ten-thirty. But thank you for your..your offer.”

[jaxstop]

"Babe, it's about to seven at night. You're really going to wait three and a half hours for him? C'mon, you must be freezing in that. Here, take my jacket at least. You sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

[fvkstella]

Isn’t it just so cute when guys don’t take the word ‘no’ for an answer? It’s just downright adorable when they try to convince you to come home with them by grabbing your ass. What’s even cuter is that they think my sexuality can be ‘fixed’ by spending a long night with a dick stuffed up my vag. Although, let’s be honest: the cutest part is when they act surprised after I knee them in the little blue balls of theirs.

[fvkstella]

[jaxstop]

"So much anger and passion in such a little body. I'd call you adorable, but I'm afraid it might get me kicked in the balls as well. Good for you, though. Saying no is one thing, but another thing is saying you're fucking gay and then still not getting the memo."

[fckjudes-deactivated20141012]

This older woman in my apartment complex just literally offered to pay me for sex. I was a bit taken apart and a little concerned, flattered nevertheless, but still I had to say no.

[jaxstop]

"That probably wouldn't have been the smartest idea. Good thing you said no, the old broad could have had raging STDs for all you knew. Although there are condoms, but I wouldn't want to risk it."

[millselizabeth-deactivated20150]

     ”No, I’m just.. waiting for somebody. Thank you, anyway.”

[millselizabeth-deactivated20150]

[jaxstop]

"Sorry to break it to you, love, but whoever you're waitin' for isn't coming anytime soon. It's getting dark, why don't I walk you home instead?"

[jaxstop]

so i may or may not be reading v gay stuff but y'know since we'RE FUCKING OPENING IN LIKE FIVE MINUTES y'all should come plot with me??

Jax is basically the dude that sleeps with anything that shows interest tbh

he's v confident and cocky and he lets things get to his head all the time

he's also v detached with the people he sleeps with like unless you're in bed he won't really give a shit about you

another thing about him is that hes a huge party person (big surprise) but yeah his motto is 'fuck it' and he literally gets random urger to do crazy shit like go bungee jumping and idk

thats all i got for now but ill be writing up a bio sooner or later idk some ideas for connections are these

obvi i wanted a few fwb plots but i have different ideas for different charries so yeah (can be m or f since he is bisexual)

for ex. one could be where they bother the shit out of each other and literally pray that one of them has a shit day but it smostly just sexual frustration that they secretly let out in his apartment at night but no one knows

aside from the fwb i want him to have friend ofc but his friends would mostly be the kind of people to do crazy shit with him

if your charrie is more on the quiet or not much of an adrenaline junkie then maybe jax picks on them a lot or teases them in a fun way and they have a sort of sibling relationship

one i rly rly want is someone that keeps him grounded. like theyre good friends but they are always the one to tell him 'hey calm the fuck down' and that gets tired of his shit and tells him no (which is something he's not used to hearing)

anyways yayayyy we're opened now!! oh and my name is ana and you should message me on here or on aim: anafck :))

[jaxstop]

@leodicaprio: @jaxtonpayne alllll the coffee and donuts?! this sounds waaaay too good to be true

@jaxtonpayne: @leodicaprio yess. i just bought like two dozen donuts