gayboy? jayboy.

jaybird | he/him | aroace | adult | header image by @tiredandoptimistic

[tiredandoptimistic]

John Oliver robofucker pride flag I made for @jaybirdscoffee because it's past midnight and I've been arguing about whether or not Spike from Buffy serves for like an hour. My creative juices flow towards evil.

[jaybirdscoffee]

patron saint of the robofucker community

[jaybirdscoffee]

i love radical acceptance. yeah i kind of feel like i’m dying and getting turned inside out every day but that’s just how it’s gotta be right now i guess. yeah i’m falling apart but i’ll keep kicking all my pieces down the road because shit keeps going. bless

[jaybirdscoffee]

listening to the mountain goats while sitting on my balcony drinking a fresca and inhaling secondhand cigarette smoke from my neighbor is in fact how i think john darnielle intended his music to be listened to

[jaybirdscoffee]

you know it’s ride or die when she’s been first in line to kill your dad since 2018

[jaybirdscoffee]

megan thee stallion really is god’s perfect woman

[jaybirdscoffee]

fandom racism is crazy you have a whole cast that’s majority women of color and everyone’s going bonkers for them two white dudes

[jaybirdscoffee]

i no longer have to drag The Corpse around. #notmyproblem

[jaybirdscoffee]

i need to get weirder

[inki-drop]

"And he gave it to me for free, Bob!"

I saw this on bsky last night and had to draw the guy

[infectiouspiss]

somnophillia is super funny like im honk shoo honk shoo having a good nights sleep and now you must pass the ultimate test of fucking me without waking me by knocking something over or stepping on a crisp packet i've left on my floor. can you finish your mission while my pet geckos judge you from their tanks? because they're not leaving the room okay the geckos stay in here. also the markiplier fnaf playlist stays on. i sleep better when he's screaming.

[infectiouspiss]

all kink stuff is playing pretend but with somno you're not playing pretend you're locked in you're comfy cozy you're snug as a bug in a rug and your partner is playing pretend instead

[infectiouspiss]

and like. if you're the one awake you're playing pretend so hard right now like ouuuuhhh look at me i'm a scary evil intruder or a demon or vampire or whatever we're doing tonight and now i just have to uhhhh okay shimmy the duvet off and shhh dontfucking breathe so loud and okayyyyy alright now. ah shit they're sleeping in the family guy death pose how the fuck do i get in there how. how do i. help. why are these geckos looking at me.

[infectiouspiss]

plus you have to not get too scared when freddy fazbear jumpscares you or else you're waking them up with your screams

[lourainwoods-in-the-woods]

[infectiouspiss]

oh great and this guy's here in the cuck box wondering if the screaming is me waking up or markiplier dying or toy bonnie throwing a tantrum

[tiredandoptimistic]

@glass-coffin-will-graham @jaybirdscoffee @skybluesocks FNAF truly is relevant to everything

[jaybirdscoffee]

thanking my ancestors this night for giving me the world’s sexiest hair

[eldritchbauble]

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

You! Have been visited by the gnome of executive function! Reblog to send them along to make sure they visit the next person in need!

🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄🌱🍄🌿🍄

[nachosforfree]

For me, censorship laws are a lot like the death penalty. There are people I wish would die, but I don't want the government to have any say over who lives or dies (because then they can stretch laws out to justify killing someone they dont like). There are stories that I think are reprehensible and should have never been written, but I don't want the government to have any say over which stories are reprehensible (because then they can stretch out what they deem wrong out to fit anything they don't like)

[charl0ttan]

there used to be a man named bruno mars who would come on the radio every now and then to sing us his new song but he doesnt do any of that now because he got shy

[iiinkos]

say what you want about the tma fandom being too strict with sticking to the fanon designs but i will ALWAYS love poc jon. i love thinking and talking about him, i love seeing art and content with him, and most importantly i love representation. i love how people came together and decided not to make another bland fucking white boy. i love that people like me, queer, poc, complex people, get to see themselves in a beloved, very focused on character when so often we don’t. when we usually just have to pick as choose between which of our traits are represented, or pick someone in the background. i will always love poc jon. he’s so important to me

[shamesonlydaughter]

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

[fiyero3305]

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

[blueindeed]

I tell this story all the time but I'll tell it again! When I taught kindergarten full time, we had a working bee one weekend where we did a bunch of gardening/landscaping in the outdoor area. One of the dads put up a bit of fencing, then stood back and had a look, kind of frowning like he wasn't sure. His wife then came along, and the following conversation ensued:

Wife: GETMO? Husband: (after a moment, with a sigh) Yeah, GETMO. Me: GETMO? Wife and husband, in perfect unison: Good Enough To Move On

Absolutely LIFE CHANGING acronym, friends and enemies.

[jaybirdscoffee]

PAPERWORK AVERTED.