jaz @jazmemesworld - Tumblr Blog

Is Russia even real

I think it is necessary for me to transcribe what she’s saying because it is EXACTLY how I babytalk to my cat:

“Oh Stepa! So little – little Stepa! My little kiss, where’s my little kiss?? Where are my little fingers? Where are my little legs? Where are my little paws? Stepa!” *shakes his paw* “Say hello! Hello my little one! Hello!” *lies down on him* “Oh how nice, how warm. Good boy…”

sciuridyke

to be clear, this bear is named the russian equivalent of “steve”

jazmemesworld

BABYYY

waraable

there, there~

bambamisnotbig

Please do a second part to claimed, it was amazing

I want to but I don’t think I can lol

jazmemesworld

PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER ONE.

bambamisnotbig

Bambam: Claimed (M)

Yo yo yo guys, it’s my baby Bambam’s Birthday! I decided that I’d write some smut for him, but the story actually has nothing to do with his birthday. But I had a lotta fun writing it cause it was so different. This is what I do when I should be doing my requests, but hey enjoy it anyway!

***

You slammed the glass down with a loud clank. You inhaled sharply and a burp followed. It was your ninth shot tonight. Drinking your problems away was routine when you were in a relationship with someone who didn’t love you. Why stay with a man who came home late every night? Or stay with a man who has multiple sex partners? But you couldn’t leave him. You couldn’t leave Im Jaebum. No matter how many times you told yourself you would. The sex was amazing, he could be caring when he wanted to, but he was a bad boy. You were, unfortunately, always falling for the bad ones. You waved for the bartender and he poured another shot. Before you could lay down the ten, a fifty was placed on the table.

“Drinks are on me for the next hour.” You wearily looked at the man who covered your alcohol tab. He was cute, no, handsome with plump lips, dark raven hair and piercing brown orbs. Just like Jaebum. No way was he good news. You downed the shot and thanked him. Hey, free drinks. When did you get so lucky? “What’s a delicate flower like you doing all alone in a place this dangerous?”

Dangerous? This bar? You hadn’t known. It was your first time here since Jaebum always found you at your old bar. You needed a place he wouldn’t trace you to.

“I’m trying to escape reality. Why else would I be on my 11th drink?” You threw your head back, the hard liquor going straight down your throat, “Why are you talking to me?”

He slyly smirks, “Because you look like you need someone to talk to, to take your problems away.” His hand caressed your back, comforting you, “Tell me what’s wrong.” His voice was soft but there was an undertone to it, one you couldn’t make out. Nevertheless, you told him.

“Well for starters, my “boyfriend” cheated on me. Again. Fucking Im Jaebum, what gives him the right to be with me but he goes sticking his dick into another girl’s vagina. Who the fuck does he think he is? And why the fuck am I still with him? Why can’t end it? WHY AM I SO FUCKING STUPID?!” Your voice grew louder with every word and to anyone you looked like a typical drunk girl. Little did they know, you could hold your liquor quite well.

“You’re not stupid. Jaebum is not the kind of the boy a woman like you should be with.” He squeezed your shoulder, maybe it was a sign, or a warning.

“You know him?” He nods, his eyes grim and dark.

“I know him. I know him well…what do you say to getting out of here?” Getting away from Jaebum is just what you needed and the gentleman seemed nice enough, besides, you knew how to defend yourself.

“Sure, let’s get out of here.” You grabbed your purse and slightly stumbled out of the bar with the man trailing behind you.

The man wasn’t his name though.

“My name is Bambam. No, it’s not my real name.” Could this dude read minds or something?

“Y/N. Where exactly are we going?”

He caught up to you with long strides and shrugged nonchalantly, “I figured a midnight stroll would help calm you. Y’know? Dissipate your anger.”

“I’m calm, thank you.” You stated in a matter-of-fact tone. You pull a cigarette from the carton in your purse and light it, taking a long drag from it.

“You shouldn’t do that,” He grimaced and continued, “It’s not good for you.”

You blew out the smoke and frowned, “What are you, my father?”

He ignored your rhetorical question and your defensive tone didn’t really seem to bother him, “You humans don’t live as long as you think.”

Your eyebrows drew closer to closer together in confusion, “What do you mean by you humans? Last time I checked you were a human too.”

“That’s what I said, us humans.” You were 100% sure he didn’t say that but you didn’t argue. A terrible headache would follow if you yelled too much.

You took another hit of your cancer stick and exhaled the smoke. Bambam steps slowed and you were little ways in front of him. “Take me to your house.” You didn’t need to look at him to get his approval, he was already leading you to his living place.

He didn’t live in a house, but a condo. It was nice and it made you wonder what he did for a living to afford such a comfy spot like this.

“Make yourself at home.” He takes off his trench coat and makes his way to what you think is the kitchen. You kicked off your shoes and plopped down on his plush sofa. Your joints were aching, probably from the long walk to his condo. Your mind wandered to Jaebum. What was he doing? Did he come home? And if he did, did he know you were gone?

‘He’s probably with one of the girls he has sex with behind my back.’ You thought drearily.

“Drink this, it will help you feel better.” His booming voice almost made you jump out of your skin. You sat up and examined your drink. It was dark red and filled to the brim. It was by far the darkest drink you’d ever seen.

“What is it?” You took it from him carefully, cautious of spilling it. You sniffed it and the smell was intoxicating. He nodded and you looked at him, eyes searching for his approval.

“What’s the worse that could happen?” You asked him aloud and drank. You realized how devious his smirk was after you took a gulp from the liquid. Your sight becomes blurred and it’s hard to focus on him. You drop the wine glass and before it shatters on the hard floor, he swiftly catches it.

“It’s bad to waste good blood, Princess.” His voice is much deeper now, more sinister.

Your body is limp and he picks you up, carrying you to his bedroom.”W-what did you do t-to me?” Your usual demanding voice is now soft and barely audible.

“You drank V blood. But don’t worry, it relaxes you.” In a situation like this, you didn’t want to be relaxed, but maybe it was what you needed though; to take your mind off of everything that was happening to you.

“What a-are you going to do me?” He lied you on his bed gently and warmth instantly consumed your body.

“Why, I’m going to fuck you of course.” The thought of having his body pressed against your was amazing, even if you were temporarily paralyzed.

And it didn’t stop the fact that you were growing wet.

“First, I’m going to start off slow by teasing you with my fingers and tongue. Then I’m going to pound your tight little body so hard, the neighbors will know my name. After I’ve left bruises on your body and leave you limping, I’m going to send you home to Jaebum and let him see how I’ve marked his territory, claiming you as my own. Doesn’t that sound nice?” His deep chuckle sends goosebumps down your spine and you know that even when you shouldn’t enjoy this, you will.

Besides, he had a way with words.

His hands were soon all over your body, pulling off your shirt and tugging down your tight jeans.

“I see why he wants you all to himself.”

‘But I’m not the only one he wants.’ You bit your lip and wiggled your toes. The feeling in your body was slowly coming back and you were glad. You wanted to feel everything he was about to do to you.

“That may be the case, but don’t worry about him. I can give you all the pleasure you need and desire.” You were pretty sure you didn’t say that out loud, but everything that happened tonight was surreal. So you didn’t dwell on it for too long. All the anticipation was building up and by now you were ready for him to do whatever he wanted to you.

“Cute, I can smell your arousal.” Your tan skin grows hot and you’re more than embarrassed. Shit, were you really that wet?

His fingers hook into the sides of your panties and you can feel yourself throbbing. He pulls them off your legs and you’re exposed to him. “You’re so damn sexy.“

He dips a finger into your wetness and you mewl. His touch must be extremely pleasurable if you can feel it through your slightly paralyzed state. .“You’re tighter than I imagined.” He reaches his other hand up to rip off your bra. Your breast are freed and you want to whine. That bra was expensive!

Your thoughts are interrupted when he curls his long digit inside of you, causing you to moan out his name. He sinks another finger inside of you and his thumb toys with your clit, rubbing it in small circles. He moves slowly and you can’t help but to want more.

“Faster, please.” He pinches your thigh and you groan.

“What did I say? I’m going slow, agonizingly slow until I think you deserve more.”

‘Fuck, tonight’s going to be the longest night of my life.’

He smirks and you close your eyes. He has the same smirk as Jaebum and both left you equally hungry for them. Your body jerks as you feel his tongue take a swipe at your clit.

“Oh my gosh, Bambam! Please!” Your pleas were basically unheard since he didn’t speed up. He only gave slow licks despite how much you begged for him to go faster. His fingers were still working inside of you while his soft tongue worked wonders against your sensitive bud. You were a moaning mess and you were about fed up with his shit, “Please, I’ll do anything you want…” Your glazed eyes gave you an innocent look that he took into consideration.

“Anything?”

“Anything.” Your mobile hips thrusts themselves on his inactive fingers, looking for release but he held you down instantly.

“If you want me to make you cum, break up with Im Jaebum.”If you were a sane person, you would jump at the opportunity to end things with that man. To finally be free of the hard times he put you through. No more lying and cheating if you left him. But you weren’t sane, not completely. Here you were with a man you barely knew. A first name is what you knew of him, and it wasn’t even his real one. He gave you a glass of V blood, as he called it and in your hazy state you couldn’t tell what it was. It was just so spell bounding. A sane woman would not let a man she just met fuck her.

But you weren’t sane.

“I’ll do it…just fuck me please.” Would you really do it, or were you only saying it so that he’d waste no time pouncing on you?

His close were off in milliseconds and in a different situation you’d think that humans were incapable of doing that. But you came to terms that this man was indeed, not human.

“You have such a beautiful body. Shame I’m going to bruise it.” Your legs squeezed together and you were suddenly able to move your whole body.

Sitting up quickly, the blood rushed to your head and you groaned. You look down to see the bed soaked where your juices were pouring out. Shit, you really were that wet.

“Now that you can move, are you going to run away?” His smirk shows that he’s clearly testing you. Even if you were to run, he’d catch you with little to know problems.

“No, I want you to do what you promised me.”

“Uh uh uh. You don’t make the decisions here, I do. If you want my cock oh so badly, pick up your phone and call him, tell him you’re done with him.”

Should be easy enough, right?

Wrong.

You picked up your phone with shaking hands and dialed his number slowly. This was for the best, you’d finally be free. His phone was ringing, you could hear the dial tone.

“Where are you?” His voice was surprisingly rough. He was angry and anybody could tell.

“I’m with a friend.” Your phone was snatched from you and Bambam held it to his ear.

“Some friend, huh, Jaebum.” His voice held a possessive edge to it and you wonder what Jaebum’s face looks like right now.

“Bambam?! What the hell are you doing with my girl?” You can hear him shout through the phone and you just want the conversation to be over with already.

“I’m fucking her, what do you think?” You blushed, could he have been any more blunt about it? He threw you back the phone and you barely caught it. “Do it.”

You licked your lips and gulped, “JB…I’m breaking up with you. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry…” You kept it short and simple, not wanting to draw it out.

“Y/N wait! You don’t know how dangerous this man is! He’ll su-” You pressed the red button, not wanting to hear anymore from him. He was always trying to tell you what to do with your life but no, not anymore.

“Now, where were we, kitten?” The pet name turns you on incredibly and you’re right back in the mood. His strong hands pull you to the edge of the bed, your legs spread apart.

‘Bout fucking time.’ You thought as he rubbed your folds with his shaft. He hasn’t even entered you yet and you’re already arching your back. He grips your thighs tightly while staring into your eyes and inserting himself into you slowly. Biting your lip, you moan wantonly. He was way bigger than you thought but the stretch felt amazing.

For the first time, you heard his breathing speed up, “I understand why Jaebum can’t get enough of you.” He didn’t give you enough time to respond before he’s deeply pounding into you, hard and slow. Every thrust knocks the wind from your lungs. You’d never had sex so passionately before.

His hand leaves your thigh and he brings your body close to his. Your chests are pressed together and you’re staring into his eyes which were filled with lust and now a crimson color. Enticing is what they were. You lean in to kiss him and his lips respond immediately. You didn’t know what came over you but his lips were calling your name and you couldn’t get enough of them.

You roll your hips and he grips your ass, kneading your cheeks roughly. “Can he ever make you feel this good? Does he know how to please you like I do?” Your moans weren’t enough for him and he smacks your ass hard.

“No!” Your fingers run through his hair and you tug on the strands, loving the way he moans your name. His hips move at rapid speeds, different from when he first started. Sweat gathers at the crown of his forehead and you swear he’s the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. He was so bad, but you loved it. You loved how he used you to get at Jaebum but you didn’t care at the moment. The only thing you truly cared about was how good his pulsating cock felt inside of you.

Your walls clamped down on him and you knew what was about to happen. Your eyes roll back and in no time, you’re extremely close to climaxing. “I’m about to cum!” His lips attacked your neck and your voice is three octave higher than it should be.

The distinct vein in your neck is driving him crazy. He inhaled your scent and he marveled at how delicious you smelled. Your walls suffocated his dick and he knew you were cumming.

He sank his fangs into your neck without warning and the sweet blood rushed into his mouth. He’s moaning against your neck while you’re screaming as your orgasm takes over. The pain from his canines mixed with your explosive climax made you feel as if you were on cloud nine

So this is what he was, a vampire. ‘How cliché.’

His tight grip on your arm was gone as your body fell back on the bed. Just when you think he is done, your body is flipped over and he’s pounding into you from behind. He wraps your hair in his fist and yanks your head back.

“I told you I wasn’t stopping until I bruise your body and you’re limping out of here. I mean what I say.”

Bambam was beating into you so roughly, you felt like the bed was going to break. He slapped your ass repeatedly and you knew you weren’t going to be able to sit down comfortably for a while. His other hand wrapped around your throat, slightly cutting off your air supply.

It was a new feeling and it was definitely a good one. Your strangled moans and his heavy grunts bounced off the walls along with his slick skin slapping against yours. You were breathless and he let go of your neck, oxygen rushing back into your lungs.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you were about to cum again. “Bambam…” Your tiny voice called out to him but he didn’t stop his restless attack inside your walls. You help his hand that was now grasping your hip tightly, imprinting you. You squeezed his finger and you came with a groan.

Seconds later, hot liquid shoots into your warm cavern but he didn’t stop. Not until your pussy was throbbing and you were stuck in that position when he pulled out. You gasped for air with your eye shut tight, his seeds leaking out of you and onto the blanket.

“You’re mine now. I claimed you and you’re filled with my cum. What do you think will happen?” He chuckles darkly but you can barely focus on his words before you pass out. The only thing on your mind was how sore you were going to be when you woke up.

***

I ain’t never wrote smut like this before. Lol sorry I posted it so late, I was at work all night :(

Happy Birthday Bambam! Let’s dab at our wedding okay?

P.S thank you for the 1.5K! Love you lots :*

jazmemesworld

this fucking killed me

Me when I first started listening to iKON: oh my god.. Idk if this is Chanwoo or Yunhyeong fml

Me now: I can tell that its Chanwoo by the way he's breathing.

-admin k

At your high school reunion

Old enemy: *walks over*Hey y/n!

You: Hi!

Old enemy: It's been a while!

You: Yes it has.*sips drink*

Old enemy: So what have you been up to?

You: I've been in Seoul, South Korea.*smiling like HELL*

Old enemy: Well finally you're doing something...

You: ...Pardon?

Old enemy: You finally got to go to the place since you used to fangirl over it and every breathing thing that was there. Don't even get me started on the music. You love that crap...so why come back?

You: Well...my...plus one thought I should come back to visit some friends.

Old enemy: *starts laughing*And who's your plus one? Not one of those idols I ho-

Your Bias: *comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you while giving you a long kiss* everything okay jagiya?

Your enemy: *mouth dropped open speechless*

You: I'm fine baby*gives heart warming smile to him, then looks at old enemy and gives a sly smile*

Your Bias: *To you* So I was thinking...*says something sexy in Korean that only you and him can understand but the other person knew it was hot*

You: Okay oppa*shoots him a wink*

Your Bias: *To your old enemy* I'm sorry something has came up sooo...we have to go.*takes you by the hand and leads you to the door to leave*

Old enemy: This was fun we should talk again soon!

You: Bitch please!*throws up middle finger before exiting out the door waiting for what fun was about to take place*

sinandtonic1-deactivated2018010

when someone new to kpop claims they know ur bias more than u

jazmemesworld

🙊

sinandtonic1-deactivated2018010

when someone new to kpop claims they know ur bias more than u

surfacage

today in Oh My God, Shisui No

(shisui pranks his coworkers rip in pieces

this actor au is tagged tacchan and friends)

jazmemesworld

I repeaaaaat, this is the real owner of the photos I posted. I already took them down but people keep on reblogging them. Pls stop and reblog the orig post! @surfacage is the real owner of those arts! I am taking all the blame because its my fault just pls staph reblogging my deleted post. Have a good day!!! It was my mistake and I'm sorry!

surfacage

today in Oh My God, Shisui No

(shisui pranks his coworkers rip in pieces

this actor au is tagged tacchan and friends)

jazmemesworld

This is the original owner of that artwork 😁 I'm sorry.

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