ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ?

"we didn't do it on purpose; we just aren't very good at things." independent john from john dies at the end. nsfw & triggering content abound. RULES LINKS

[williamshatspeare]

John Dies at the End (2012)

[jchncheese]

the signs as things John Cheese has done

Aries: when confronted with being somewhere he wasn't supposed to be in an alternate universe holding a homemade flamethrower, he said, "We're from the Fire Department."

Taurus: ramped his truck over government quarantine fences while his car's radio played Bad Moon Rising by Creedence

Gemini: when his best friend's girlfriend fed her dog convenience store burritos to help the dog shit out a homemade bomb shaped like a dog treat she had accidentally eaten, he picked up the uncontrollably shitting dog and aimed her asshole at the enemies the bomb had been intended for

Cancer: purposely made sure to time his smoking just right so he was lighting a new cigarette as he was approaching a crime scene in order to look as cool as possible

Leo: aided his best friend in burning down his best friend's house because they saw a spider in it

Virgo: got kicked out of art class for submitted very, very detailed charcoal nudes of himself with six inches added to his genitalia

Libra: shaved half of his best friend's girlfriend's dog, at the request of the dog.

Scorpio: when his best friend started talking about some random guy's attributes because he thought his girlfriend could do better, John started talking about the random guy having a great ass because he wanted to feel included

Saggitarius: claimed he faked a seizure when some people tried to get him to leave a scene and after pretending not to speak English didn't help (note: it's possible none of this actually happened and John was lying)

Capricorn: attempted to make a jetpack, then later claimed the burns were from messing around with homemade fireworks

Acquarius: when he needed to make a group of people form a recognizable shape to communicate to some pilots that there were still relatively healthy people in their town, had them all form the shape of a penis because spelling out a word would take too long

Pisces: whenever he's fighting something, he constantly makes puns based on whatever he's using as a weapon or whatever he's fighting. or both.

[jchncheese]

                                   ❝ we didn’t do it on purpose, we just                                           aren’t very good at doing things.

i. indie john from john dies at the end ii. multiverse; canon & oc friendly iii. up for plotting iv. triggers tagged  v. nsfw content tagged; writer 21+

[teriyaki-bastard]

[zaks-ghost-adventures]

[lois-lane]

[bigjimsullivan-blog1]

@jchncheese

They’re not exactly friends, but in the same breath, Jim’s not exactly an asshole either. He’s not sure where the rest of Three Arm Sally is, but John looks prime to either be sick or pass out. There’s a nagging part of his conscience that says he can’t walk away without, at least, checking in. So, he sits next to John the couch, the raggedy old one that’s been dragged out in the middle of this yard, and proceeds to give a damn while the rest of this after party continues to rage around them. “You all right?”

[jchncheese]

John’s liver had seen better nights. He’s been downing a bottle of spiced rum, nothing fancy considering there’s a pirate on the label but a brand he likes enough to have gotten drunk off of almost every night that week. He’s not sure who invited Big Jim to the party so automatically he feels posed to talk to the man when he sits down at his side. 

John sticks his hands out towards the trash barrel that’s fully ablaze to warm his hands which he’d lost feeling in (more from the booze than the cold) from sitting still too long. He’d been thinking about something that had happened while he was working in the video store with Dave, nothing meaningful just some nonsense that he could laugh to himself about as he drank. “I’m fine, this party is kinda dying down isn’t it?” 

[the-meggo]

[jchncheese]

the-meggo:

I turned, and where Amy had been sitting, there was now a human-shaped… thing with jointed arms and gray rags for clothes, legs sticking stiffly out in front like a GI Joe doll or a department store mannequin crafted by a blind man.  The red hair looked to be made of copper wire.

I got to hand it to them,  I thought.  I really wasn’t expecting that.

[jchncheese]

gonna redo my theme & tagging system.

[jchncheese]

                     ❝ we didn’t do it on purpose, we just                           aren’t very good at doing things.

i. indie john from john dies at the end ii. multiverse; canon & oc friendly iii. up for plotting iv. triggers tagged  v. nsfw content tagged; writer 21+

[lostangeles]

[greelin]

[slowly raises hand] yeah, so, does making out with the enemy count as “fraternizing” or

[jchncheese]

                                                            ❝ we didn’t do it on purpose, we just                                                                          aren’t very good at doing things.

 i. indie john from john dies at the end  ii. multiverse; canon & oc friendly  iii. up for plotting  iv. triggers tagged   v. nsfw content tagged; writer 21+

[daveisfucked-a-blog]

Continued with @jchncheese from x

Dave sighs. “Couldn’t we just, you know, not?”         Still, he starts walking down the empty street.

[jchncheese]

"Absolutely fucking not.” He shot Dave a slick smile. before heading down the abandoned road. “Looks uh suspiciously empty here--- where is everybody???”

[goremade-deactivated20181217]

    ‘   —— LET’S JUST ,    y’ know,  smoke already.’   he’s sighing after           finding another room empty, finally loosening his grip on john’s shirt — it’ll be           left crumpled some,  but no worse for wear. jay begins to pat his pockets for           his pipe, humming.  ‘  you got a light, right? we didn’t come all the way out to           BUTT FUCK nowhere to rub two sticks together, right? ‘

[jchncheese]

john rolled his eyes as her turned to give a long look around the room. he pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of the front pocket of his shirt, pulling the vietnam lighter he’d bought off of ebay before tossing it in his direction. “here.. we can use these as chairs.” he pulled two cinder blocks over. “here you go, man.”

[jchncheese]

8 PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER !

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !

TAGGED BY: @gangrcne TAGGING ( EIGHT PEOPLE ):  @heavydiirtysouls, @dave-is-fucked, @meatsmxll, @weascl, @wriitersblock, @bandlleader, @ghoulardii, @offdemon

ONE ( NAME / ALIAS ): doro TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): sept. 7th THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): virgo FOUR ( HEIGHT ): 5′9″ FIVE ( TIME ): 1: 39 pm SIX ( SLEEP ): like 7-8 hours SEVEN ( FAVORITE BOOKS ): jdate, haunted, this book is full of spiders, on the road, green angel, let the right one in, the virgin suicides EIGHT ( FAVORITE ARTISTS ): the strokes, catfish and the bottlemen, jet, title fight, minus the bear, arctic monkeys, gorillaz, arctic monkeys NINE ( LAST MOVIE WATCHED ): the hellions TEN ( COLLEGE ): community college classes like a mf boss ELEVEN ( DREAM JOB ): special effects artist  TWELVE ( THE MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): john cheese is the name of david wongs best friend, if you don’t know who david wong is he’s pretty much the unluckiest dude in undisclosed. 

[vinegarvic]