S T R A N G E R ✧ T H I N G S

❝ ─ IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH?                 trespass here & find out. ⤬ *･♡˙ FATE fell short this t i m e , your SMILE fades in the summer.❞ var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5322391"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[jdwits-blog]

( @tclias )

in the beginning the universe was created. this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. yet i am so a m a z i n g l y cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. i am SO hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

SEND A  ♚ AND I WILL GENERATE A QUOTE FROM THIS SITE FOR WHAT MY MUSE SAYS TO YOURS.

[memecxllector-blog]

SEND A  ♚ AND I WILL GENERATE A QUOTE FROM THIS SITE FOR WHAT MY MUSE SAYS TO YOURS.

using this quote generator 

[jdwits-blog]

// hey pals it’s ya girl el and im just posting to let u all know i’m going on a roadtrip tonight/tomorrow and then to a concert tomorrow night so i won’t be around until some time on august 5th !! thank u love u 

[gcddxss-blog]

‘ well i’m not going to the arctic anytime soon so. ’ daisy shrugged as she kept on cleaning the tables whilst engaging in small talk with the customers.

[jdwits-blog]

“ considering humanity’s  c o m p l e t e  lack of ambition to save the arctic and polar ice caps you won’t ever NEED to go to the arctic. because of humanity’s unforgivable negligence to the world and species outside our own, the ice caps are melting and forcing arctic life to migrate further south. polar bears are now found in alaska and northern canada, where it’s actually illegal to lock your cars and homes in the event that a person needs to escape a polar bear. ” jd replied, tapping at his phone hoping his pokemon wouldn’t burst from the ball for the umpteenth time. “ all this thanks to humans. we S U C K, barbie. ”

[badbrynn]

❛ well thats a little upsetting considering how much i’ve always wanted one as a pet. ❜ she shrugged, her eyes breaking away to glance his away before zoning in on the pokemon he was attempting to catch. how this game had completely consumed the world made complete sense all while making no sense at all. it was great.

[jdwits-blog]

“ you can have one as a pet if you’re also alright with dying shortly after. if you’re ever terminal that’d be a pretty gnarly way to go, yeah? ”

[jdwits-blog]

so my fam is moving and i went over 2 the new house today to bring food help out a bit and ended up being worked like a damn dog !!!! im so FUCKIN tired !!!!!! im gonna chill uot ofr a bit and relax and i will be on maybe later if i dont die

[kvmilah]

listening to his seemingly endless spiel, talia’s attention waxed and waned, frowning when she noticed his gaze diverting towards her chest briefly. “ hey, eyes are up here. ” she teased, subconsciously pulling her shirt up. “ maybe i will become a nun, maybe i won’t. imagine telling people that a girl you fucked would rather flee to a nunnery than let anyone between their legs again. you’d be the talk of the town. just, not in a good way. what ? no, i don’t eat pork. wait — jd. we’ve had this conversation. us sleeping together ? a mistake. my faith was cloudy, and since then, i’ve done a lot of thinking, and praying. i’ll only give myself to my future husband. end of story. but, i do appreciate your efforts. award worthy. i swear, you get more and more creative as the days go by. ”

[jdwits-blog]

“ imagine telling people that i fucked a girl with such dexterity and p a s s i o n that when she came her eyes rolled back and her mind imploded, causing her soul to enter the void and meet jesus himself. that my penis did THAT: confirmed the existence of a myth and inspired her to dedicate her life to that. now that sounds like a M U C H better and more accurate depiction of events, yeah? ” jd inquired, quirking his eyebrow as if to challenge talia to a response. “ but since you’ve already given yourself to me you’re like... damaged goods, aren’t you? or let’s pretend that jesus D O E S exist─ in which case, i’d like a word or three about why he's letting bird people infiltrate our world politics and if he’s secretly george r.r. martin considering our planet’s explicitly violent history─and he’s adamant about this archaic and, frankly, S E X I S T tradition of girls giving themselves to men. now let’s take into account that you lot seem to think ‘god has a plan’ whenever a child dies and this also applies to practically every thing that happens EVER. technically, since you gave yourself to me and god has a plan, doesn’t that mean his plan is that i am your future husband? talia witwicky flows, doesn’t it? ”

[holdenwhy-blog]

“eighties music is one of my guilty pleasures. like, you don’t even understand. that song ain’t no Africa, but i don’t mind it. fairy lights are cute, so that’s fine. if anyone were to walk in on us, they would think we were in love because nothing says love like the eighties and fairy lights. you know, i still haven’t seen that so did you just like, spoil something?”

[jdwits-blog]

“ a woman after my heart. the siren call of eighties music whilst receiving a blowjob is how women trick me into marrying them. i haven’t spoiled anything but spoiler alert, i will, at the conclusion of this passionate rendezvous, simba you. ”

[holdenwhy-blog]

“i love that song, too. wow, you’re a lot cuter when you like things i like. if you keep sweet talking me like this we won’t have to fuck in complete darkness.”

[jdwits-blog]

“ do you like all eighties music? it’s late seventies but stayin alive by the bee gees is not only a good measure during cpr but dope to coordinate your thrusts with. what about fairy lights? i watched stranger things and ended up hanging fairy lights all over my room in case i ever travel between dimensions and need to take a call. ”

[kvmilah]

“ remind me to pray for you tonight. ” talia declared after a long pause, a taunting smile stretching across her lips, as she allowed her gaze to meet his. “ my legs — what ? ” it was much too soon before talia realized exactly what jd was referring to, making her cheeks involuntarily flush a light shade of crimson, and she hated herself for it. “ better find someone else to shut you up, hm ? i mean, they won’t be me, but i’m sure you’ll just take what you can get. always been easily pleased. ” she shrugged nonchalantly before continuing. “ listen, i’m not a damn nun, alright ? not yet, anyway. i don’t have all your spiritual answers. neither does god. besides, you’ve sinned too much in this lifetime to even seek guidance from the holy spirit. just being around you is making me feel like i’m stabbing my guy, jesus, in the back. and i swear to god, jd, if you don’t keep your voice down, i’ll kill you. quit talking about my vagina. ” 

[jdwits-blog]

jd smirked at her, shrugging his shoulders as her cheeks reddened. yeah, he’d never get tired of that. “ i’ve found that eating a raw potato whenever i look at my ceiling and see that my lamp looks like a tit and the urge R I S E S kills any sexual deviancy in seconds. there’s just something about all that starch that really reminds me that the  o n l y  thing a young woman should be inserting in herself is knowledge. ” his eyes wandered to her chest before he met her eyes again and nodded solemnly. “ YET? are you seriously going to be a nun someday, or is it just an excuse to live in a castle and beat children with yardsticks? honestly, i think jesus likes me considering i’m a vegan. i believe in genuine empathy and love for ALL of god’s creatures instead of the reckless carnage we call chik-fil-a. jesus probably blessed me with this strange tingling sensation in my anus for being a bro to wilbur the pig. speaking of ham, are you in the mood for some pork? ”

[holdenwhy-blog]

“in regular circumstances, i would say no. but i am on the verge of death and losing memory as time goes on, so i’m thinking otherwise. i have conditions, though. stop calling me a grandmother and put on “Africa” by Toto as we fuck. it’s my go-to song in times like these. think you can follow that?”

[jdwits-blog]

“ how did you know? i LOVE that song! i’m intentionally quoting white chicks for emphasis so you know it’s legit. my mouth will be too busy otherwise to call you grandma. ”

[holdenwhy-blog]

“what the hell is new medicine? i’m dying from lack of sex and all you can do is boast about being a smartass who graduated college at thirteen?”

[jdwits-blog]

“ for fuck’s sake, vera. i’m full of shit trying to impress you so you’ll let me tear your granny panties off with my teeth and fuck you. ”

[champgncmami-blog]

“that’s— terrifying and cool. can i ask why or how you know this?”

[jdwits-blog]

“ on the same note, wolverine kill moose. not hugh jackman, but the little furry things that look like ferrets on ‘roids. wolverine INVENTED guerrilla warfare─ they’ll dead drop from a tree branch and slash moose throat like it’s butter! isn’t it fascinating what you learn on animal planet when you stop staring at the lions fucking? ”

[kvmilah]

“ what are you even talking about ? ” squeezing her eyes shut, she began to massage her temples, momentarily questioning her sanity. “ even if this was remotely plausible, i would ever step foot into a car with you. not again, anyway. looks like you’re gonna’ have to find someone else to go on a murder spree with. quick question, though, you talk so much more than i remember. is this a recent development, or what ? are you taking some new unprescribed drugs ? ” 

[jdwits-blog]

“ polar bears, talia! i know you’ve got myrrh in your ears but this is V I T A L . when it comes to bears, you have to remember: if it’s black, fight back, if it’s brown, stay down, if it’s white, good night. polar bears are no trivial matter. ” he pocketed his phone, staring at her incredulously. “ but the gag is you don’t HAVE to step either foot to lie on your back with your legs in the air. you’ve always been particularly  s k i l l e d  at shutting me up but now that we’re leaving room for jesus i’ve got no one to stop me. it’s a curse. speaking of curses, i’ve been experiencing a strange tingling sensation in my anus and had to ask your holy spirit if this was in god’s plan. i also watched bridge to terabithia the other day and it’s fucked up how the kid dies, right? is killing children in god’s plan? on the second day, he sculpted your vagina from the sands of the sea and stars in the sky, on the third day, kill little timmy? ”

[natewyd-blog]

“listen to me! we’re living in a capitalist hell hole. the time is now! let’s all start stealing shit. no one can stop us if we’re collectively shoplifting.”

[jdwits-blog]

“ YES! f u c k, let’s smash the windows and spray-paint shel silverstein poems on the walls. it’s just pure, mindless vandalism to get capitalist america to tickle my balls. ”

[holdenwhy-blog]

“…how old did you say you were again? wait, no. stop that. that wasn’t even good.”

[jdwits-blog]

“ this isn’t a pick-up, vera. i went to harvard medical, graduated at thirteen and then studied abroad in south america learning some of that new medicine. i can now say i’m completely certified to inspect your vagina with my mouth. ”

[jdwits-blog]

me: denounces gif icons

me: feels like i’m making the dash UGLY AS SHIT with my big gifs

me, who will probably revert back to gif icons, tears streaming down my face ...: i love gif icons :)