Jeffrey Davis

Life is a beautiful journey. We are the creators of the journey of life that we are on. Create a wonderfully joyful journey.

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Uncomfortable? Good!

One thing that I have told my clients in the past, and to their surprise, is this; I want you to be uncomfortable. Why is that? Well, the reason is simple, change does not happen inside our comfort zone. Change happens outside of our comfort zone. So to have a rocky and uncomfortable start in early recovery is not terrible it could be an sign of progress along the road of recovery.

Have you ever scraped a knee or elbo, and then when the scab starts to form it starts to itch? Well, the uncomfortableness in early recovery is that itch. It’s a part of the healing process. Let it itch, be uncomfortable. Eventually the uncomfortable part will level out and the ways you keep your sobriety is your new norm, your new comfort zone.

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“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

~ Rumi

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Losing your identity

Hello, my name is Jeffrey, and I’m an addict. That’s how I have introduced my self at A.A. meetings in the past. Yes I am an addict who is in recovery, however, I do not allow that label of ‘addict’ define who I am. I am in recovery and that should suffice. I choose to define who I am by what I do, not by what I’ve done. That is who I was, not who I am today.

One common theme I have seen during my years of counseling is that some people have hard time separating themselves from who they were and what they’ve done. It is understandable that this part of recovery can be challenging. In the vicious cycle of an addictive lifestyle we create an identity of an addict. We lie, cheat, can not be trusted, the only thing that is of any importance is getting high or getting our drunk on. In recovery it is important to separate ourselves from that person who was the addict. When I was early recovery I went through a period of mourning for my previous self. I had to put that person to rest in order to stay in my recovery.

I have seen many clients get to a point in their recovery when some good things start happening in their lives as a direct result from sobriety. Then some of my clients start to self sabotage their recovery, maybe fell guilty and undeserving of the positive side effects of sobriety. My message to them is, you are deserving because you are becoming a person in recovery and you are acting in more responsible and ethical ways. This is the new you! Celebrate it!

Do yourself a favor if you are having a difficult time letting go; write your drug of choice or the previous addict a good bye letter. A break up letter, you are in a way ending an unhealthy relationship.

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Teva Pharmaceuticals Agrees To $85 Million Settlement With Oklahoma In Opioid Case

Oklahoma's attorney general had filed a lawsuit against the Israel-based company for its alleged role in fueling the opioid crisis.

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Tired Of Being 'Dope Sick,' A Drug User Gets Help From Police To Get Sober

"Just continually putting people in jail, that's not doing anything for them," says an Everett, Wash. police officer who connected with one

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Toward a New Frontier in Human Intelligence: The Person-Centered Approach — Scientific American

When it comes to intelligence, we all have bad days. Heck, we even have many bad moments, such as when we forget our car keys, forget a frie

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Click here to support Mindfulness Recovery Movement organized by Jeffrey Davis

Hello, my name is Jeff Davis and I am a recovering addict and substance abuse counselor residing in Austin,TX. I currently work with high ri

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Addiction's Toxic Love

Is it possible to love someone to death? Yes, I believe it is possible; especially if that loved one is an addict. The consequences that are the result of addiction to alcohol or drugs can be devastating for the addict; but what about those around him or her? What about the friends and the families which can also bear the burden of consequence? Families and friends of those who suffer from the disease of addiction face their own consequences which are created by a ripple effect created by the behaviors of the addict.  Just as when a stone is dropped in a pond it creates a ripple which affects its surroundings.  As family members or as friends, why do we allow the ripple effect of the addict whom we are close to and love continue to affect our lives in negative ways? Why must we suffer the burden of another person’s affliction? I think the better question that we should be asking ourselves is this; am I helping this person or contributing to the problem?

It is natural for us to want to be able to do whatever it is we can in order to help the ones that we love and care about. It is natural to want to reach out with a helping hand to a family member or friend who is having problems with alcohol or drugs. It can be hard to watch with caring eyes a family member or friend destroying his or her lives because of their addiction. It is understandable to want to take them in once they have hit a bottom and have suffered the sometimes great losses which come with addiction.

I have known and talked with families about their continued support of the addict in their lives. They have gone out of their way, put aside their plans and lives, in order to try and help. I have often heard the stories of parents bringing in their adult children who have had problems in their lives because of continued abuse of alcohol, or continued abuse of drugs such as the abuse of over prescribed medications. Family members who do not want to see their child, spouse, nieces or nephews suffer any more. They provide them with shelter, food, money and transportation and at times do not ask for anything in return.

When I talk to people about families and addiction one topic that is discussed the most is about enabling the addict. When we ask ourselves; am I helping this person or adding to the problem? Are we being honest with ourselves about the answer or the story we tell ourselves? A question that is commonly asked by families is; “when is it appropriate to draw the line with our support?”  That can be a difficult question to answer. However, if we want to be honest about recovery the appropriate time to draw that line is right here, right now, and you could save their lives.

Not too long ago I had a client, a young man of 20 years, who was living with his parents and who had an addiction to a prescription pain medication, OxyContin. His mother had encouraged him to reach out and seek counseling. At one point he and I thought it would be best to do a family session and meet with his parents and him together. During one of these family sessions I discussed the idea of a sober contract between him and his parents. Since he was living under their roof there would be no alcohol or drugs aloud in the house, along with other conditions. A condition of the contract they agreed upon stated that if he brought drugs in the house or caught using he would have to move out immediately.

I told his parents that what is most important is that they stick to their bottom line, as hard as that may be. A few weeks later I met with him for an individual session and he told me that he had been asked to move out of the house. He said that his parents had found an Oxy pill on the floor in their living room. He did confess that it was his. His parents later told me that it was a very difficult thing to do but they stuck to their end of the contract. In turn so did their son and within a couple of weeks he had moved in to a sober home. Even though they kicked him out of the house their support for his recovery was still strong and they volunteered to go with him to some of his support group meetings. They too as a part of taking care of themselves started to attend ala-non meetings, a support group for families of addicts. The last I heard he was still sober and had his own apartment and still attending recovery meetings.

This is just one example of families sticking to their bottom line and doing the right thing even if is the difficult thing. This might sound cruel and unsupportive; but when we look at our role in the addict’s life the best support that we can provide is to set very healthy and clear boundaries. As I have mentioned before, there is nothing wrong with wanting to help those loved ones in your life through this; at the same time you must take care of yourself. By taking care of you it is easier to see how you can be in support of their recovery and not in support of their addiction.

If you are one who is living with someone who suffers from addiction to alcohol or drugs or if you feel that your life has been greatly affected by someone who is an addict there is help for you too. Just as with recovery from alcohol and drugs there are support groups, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA); there are also support groups for the family members of addicts. Try looking into attending an Al-anon or Ala-teen support groups. You can find meetings online by searching for ala-non. Or go to their website at www.al-anon.alateen.org.

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Who are you in recovery for?

Many times I hear clients say they are wanting to get clean for outside reasons. Commonly I hear the need to get clean for someones wife or husband, their children, his/her job or because consequences like legal issues. These are all common and positive motivators for recovery. Rarely do I hear ‘I’m getting clean for me.’

This makes sense, claiming a motivation for recovery for someone else makes it sound much less selfish. The truth of the matter however is that to have a better chance at recovery in the long run we must do it for ourselves. You know that old saying that you cannot love someone until you learn to be able to love yourself? Well, that applies to recovery too.

Something to keep in mind is that you are with yourself to the very end. The external motivations for recovery are truly temporary. That is a hard truth to accept, especially when we are talking about family. Let me give you an example. This is a story of an old friend of mine, we’ll call him Bob.

When Bob decided to look for treatment he was desperate. He needed to get sober for his girlfriend of many years. She had had enough and told him to get clean or get out. She did not mind partying with him on the weekends but over time he started drinking daily. She could not put up with him drunk most days of the week anymore.

On top of that his relationship with his family was starting to suffer. He started missing family events and fighting with his father and brother about his drinking.

Bob was resistant at first but his relationship problems were becoming too much. So he decided to sacrifice how he new to cope with life and his difficult job, alcohol. He started counseling and got clean. Months later the other problems in their relationship, which were brought about by his drinking, were unable to be resolved. The relationship ended.

Bob’s reason to stay clean walked out the door with his long time girlfriend. Not having a reason to stay clean he found himself at the bar that same night. Within weeks he was back to drinking on a regular basis. His relationship with family still suffered, soon his performance at work started to suffer too. Bob remained miserable.

Bob later realized that his relationship with his girlfriend had started at a bar and that at the beginning much of their fun together included alcohol. Without that common substance there relationship had little foundation. Alcohol was not only the foundation of their relationship but the source of the problems in it as well.

If we find that the reason to be clean and sober is for us then we benefit from it. Also those in our family benefit from it as well. Plus our future relationships will be healthy and strong. If Bob had discovered a reason to stay sober for himself, the break up would have been difficult but he might have stayed sober, healthy and eventually happy.

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Austin based company Clean Cause has bottled water and healthy organic energy drinks. 50% of the profits supports recovery from alcohol and drug addiction.

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She will always be remembered

Take a moment to remember-the messenger of peace -MOTHER TERESA. Today is her birthday.

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Deadly Drug Carfentanil in the U.S.

Carfentanil has arrived in the U.S.! What is it?

Carfentanil is an analog of the synthetic opioid known as fentanyl, a powerful pain killer. Carfentanil is used as an elephant tranquilizer; if you can imagine something that could bring down an animal the size of an elephant just think about what it could do to a human being. It only takes a little less than 10 milligrams of Carfentanil to take down an elephant. Now it appears that it is being used to cut heroin with. As if the growing issue with heroin addiction wasn’t bad enough now we have a substance which can increase the effect of heroin by 2500 times. Yes Carfentanil is one of the most powerful opioids we know of.  It is 10,000 times stronger than morphine and 100 times stronger than fentanyl, the substance responsible for the death of Prince in April of this year.

Needless to say that this is a very dangerous drug and now it has made its way into the United States, possible by way of Canada. So far this past summer heroin which was cut with Carfentanil was responsible for 25 overdoses in Ohio, 4 of those who overdosed died. There have been other issues in Florida and Kentucky as well. It seems synthetic drugs like Carfentanil and K2, are becoming a growing problem with deadly consequences. I cannot imagine where this can lead if a solution to this problem is not found.

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We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Read more at: http://mobile.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/josephcamp386014.html

Joseph Campbell

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You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

The Buddha

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Daily Quote: "Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears" ~ Les Brown

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Let's start a change

In a small town in West Virginia this week there were 27 overdoses within just a 4 hour period of time. How does this happen?! Or more importantly; why does this happen? The drug addiction problem in the U.S. alone has become an epidemic, a serious health crisis, which needs a long term solution. What we have been doing so far as a nation to eliminate, or even reduce this problem just has not been working. Yes, there have been improvements made. We have recognized for the most part that treatment is a better solution than incarceration. Myself, I currently work as a counselor at a residential program for those who have ended up on probation because of alcohol or drug problems. It is a good thing that we have finally come to that realization. However for those not in the legal system and dealing with addiction the change to help them is slow, treatment is expensive, and the politics are challenging. So what more can we do? I personally believe that the addiction to alcohol and drugs are a symptom of a much larger issue, plus it is not the only addiction issue which has been creating problems here in the U.S. There are the commonly known addiction issues with gambling, sex, or even shopping. But we are also witnessing an increase with addiction issues with online pornography, online gaming, and dare I say it, Facebook. Then there are those addictions that are not looked at as addictions and a possibly looked at a common part of life for example fast food, soft drinks, or sugar and caffeine in general. You might be wondering what I mean by fast food, sugar and caffeine. Caffeine and sugar are both substances that are highly addictive, processed sugar actually plays on the same area of the brain as does cocaine. Fast food companies purposely create products that they would want people to crave, they design it to be addictive. Okay, enough of my personal rant about the way I see the world. The question still remains; what more can we do? This is a very good question, which I do not have real an answer to. I do think, however, the first parts of that answer it to start an ongoing dialog about change and become more involved on a political level to promote change. Not only that, we as a part of the community wanting to see the change we must live by what Gandhi said and “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” What that means is to live in the way that we feel is the healthiest way to live and encourage others to do the same. We have to start with ourselves first. Let’s talk about starting a dialog about change. Here is where I would like to get you involved. You have read up to this point which shows that you’re interested in in seeing a change. It is my hope that you would want to also be a part of that change. I would like to use this blog as a sounding board for you to express your thoughts and ideas about how to fight this monster named addiction and how to change course to a healthier nation in general. Over the past couple of weeks I have posted some of my older blog entries to get this blog going again and after the news out of West Virginia this week I was motivated to take some action with it. Moving forward I will have new blog articles, thoughts, ideas and videos to help start this dialog. I would love to have your feedback, thoughts and ideas, so please leave comments, retweet, share and encourage others to do the same. As Margarete Mead said; “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Please join me in this journey I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas and I thank you for being a part of change.