(The AKB48 Group World…) Okada Ayaka (AKB48) Keeping My Father Who Watches Over Me in My Heart
SPOILER ALERT: This article talks about things that were shown in the new AKB48 documentary. Please do not read if you do not want to find out what had happened.
I entered AKB48 when I was in the first year of junior high. “There is an audition,” my father suggested to me. Because when I was in grade 3, I read fashion magazines geared towards primary school students and aspired to become a model. I seemed to think if I enter AKB48, it would bring that dream closer. But when I actually passed, my parents were more surprised than me. My father who suggested the audition was the most pleased.
When I started my activities in AKB48, I would go home and report the happenings of the day to my parents. “It would be nice if you become famous”, such encouragement from my father kept me in a positive frame of mind.
The television shows which I appeared in were recorded. My mother would advise that it would be better if I talk more and my father would watch the shows shyly.
Being in the AKB48 world, I was forced to think about a lot of things. Like what should I do amongst all of the members with great individualities. The senior member that I admired was Oshima Yuko-san. Wonderful performances and acting, even her variety shows were superior. I felt amazed at her ability to react to the situations.
Yuko-san is usually very nice but she would also give us strict guidances. When I appeared as an under in the Team K stage performances, beside expressing the song, she would also advise us to focus mentally from our head to our toes when we dance.
During AKB48 activities, I have been troubled with things many times. Especially when I was surpassed by members in the same generation, many thoughts like, “I’m completely different than everyone else,” “Am I being left behind,” “How will my life turn out,” “Maybe it’s better if I go a different way from now…” crossed my head. When I would say, “maybe I should quite (AKB48),” Kitazawa Saki-chan, a member from the same generation, would always stop me by saying “if you quit, you will surely regret it later.”
I was not able to tell my father and mother that I wanted to quit. If I say, “I want to quit”, they would tell me to “please do so if it is what I have decided”, because I knew that they would accept my decision, and in reverse, I felt that I must make a choice that I would not regret.
My father came to a handshake event as a surprise. He pretended to be a fan and told me “to work hard and he will support me”, in turn, as the member, I gave him a wonderful response. It seems like he wanted to know what an AKB48 handshake event was like.
He would always visit the AKB48 Theater when there were new stage performances and special events.
He came to my birthday celebration stage with my mother every year. My father was the type to cry easily, he was already in tears when the curtains opened for the first song one year.
After the stage performances, he would always praise me and said “it was good”, and normally he would be concerned about me and asked me “if the activities are fun?”
My father was hospitalized in the summer of 2014. I was worried because he had fainted many times before. The Tokyo Dome concert was scheduled for the middle of August. My father had been looking forward to the concert, and when I went to visit him, he said, “It would be nice if it’s a success.” However, a few days later, my father passed away.
The night he passed away, I was not by his side because I had a live. It seems that my mother knew that if I had known how bad the situation was, I would be worry and would not be able to concentrate on the live, so she did not tell me. When I rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, my father had already passed away.
That day, I told Mii-chan (Minegishi Minami) and Yuiri-chan (Murayama Yuiri), whom I’m great friends with, the news. Mii-chan also came to the funeral, when I cried, she cried together with me.
At the Tokyo Dome concert, I was given the special opportunity to sing as the center. Mii-chan discussed with the staff and prepared my stage for my late father.
The 2 choices were to sing a song with the senbatsu members or sing a song as the center. I chose to sing as the center which my father would probably be pleased about. The song was, “Sakura no Ki ni Narou”, which talks about wanting to watch over important people forever. I was able to pick the members I wanted to sing with, so with Mii-chan and Yuiri-chan by my side, I sang the song with Kitazawa Saki-chan, Maeda Mitsuki-chan, Okada Nana-chan, Nishino Miki-chan and Umeda Ayano-chan.
Next to my mother who came to the concert was a seat prepared for my father. I sang the song with the hope of my feelings reaching my father.
It’s been almost 2 years since my father had passed away. During this time, I think I have matured. Until now, I would easily feel discouraged, but now, I have became persistent. Even though I would give it my all for my own affairs, but I have learnt to take care of the younger members. Before I was not good at talking during handshake events, but I have learnt to enjoy it with the fans.
I want to meet the expectations of my father. While cherishing the theater performances, I want to do my best so I have happy news to report to my fans. I was able to rank in at 57th place in the General Election in June. During summer vacation, I want to bring the trophy and visit my father’s grave.
The Tokyo Dome concert in the summer of 2014. Certainly, when it was entering the climax and the intro music of “Sakura no Ki ni Narou” started to play, the face of Okada Ayaka was projected onto the screen inside the venue. “Eh? Okada Ayaka is the center?” I was surprised, then Minegishi Minami and Murayama Yuiri appeared on either sides, and the other members sang with sad expressions on their faces. Minegishi was holding Okada’s hand. I thought there would be graduation announcement, but without saying anything, they left the stage quietly. I’m sure everyone in the audience probably felt curious. Okada is a young 13th generation member. Up to that point, she did not have any experience as a senbatsu member and was not in a position to be the center on such a big stage like Tokyo Dome.
“What had happened?” On that day, I heard that Okada Ayaka’s father had passed away, and it was the stage to express condolences. After that, the situation was only revealed to the staff and certain members.
The truth was revealed for the first time in the documentary that recorded AKB48’s activities, “Sonzai Suru Riyu DOCUMENTARY of AKB48” (opened on the 8th of this month). There was the request from the director Ishihara Shin and after discussing and receiving the approval from her mother, she finally talked about the memory of that concert. The fans have said that Ayaka’s scenes were the most touching parts of the movie.
When you talk about Okada Ayaka, you will think of Minegishi Minami. Minegish was demoted to a research student after a scandal with a man in 2013. The first meeting in the lesson room was filled with awkwardness, but it was Okada who first reached out and talked to Minegishi. Then, Minegish became the captain of Team 4 and demonstrated her ability as a leader. When I asked Okada about that time, “somehow I felt like I have to talk her”, so she reached out. Minegish also adored Okada. “It is because of Mii-chan (Minegish) that I’m here now.”
One time, because Okada was not chosen as a member for the first day performance of Team 4’s new stage, she felt an emotional overload. When Minegishi saw this, she told Okada, ‘tonight come to my home.” Minegishi listened to Okada, and analyzed together why she was not chosen and gave her advice on what to improve. “Because she’s talking from her own experiences, I was able to calm down and began to look to the future.”
She’s not the flashy type, but she who values theater performances caught the eyes of the fans. She was 57th place in this year’s General Election. After ranking in for the first time, Okada embraced Minegishi on her way towards the stage.
It’s been 5 years since her debut. As reported in this article, she has grown up a lot. “My father, my mother, Mii-chan and all of the fans, I want to convey my gratitude towards a lot of people who have supported me up to now.”
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