Hello World!

My thoughts, feelings and expressions on my life, the world and beyond!

[jem1701]

2022 Recap

A little late but here it is

2022 has come and gone, and a relatively simple year it was.

From a work perspective, nothing really new. Getting more supercomputers in that we are working hard to get going and will continue to receive more this coming year, hopefully with much better progress. Work is work, there is nothing else to tell about it that I can talk about or want to talk about. If you want to ask me about it though, go ahead.

Everything else was an interesting journey. Still managed to not get sick, but I have a feeling it is coming soon. Ive avoided it for many years now as well as other illnesses so not sure how much more I can run and hide from it.

One big change I did this year was get back into dance. I had been trying to do it for a long time and was not in the best shape to do it. But getting the feedback from my doctor that I need to lose weight was a big wake up call. I got back into the dance studio, starting eating better and less, going on more walks, and that has helped me overall to get into better shape and health. I still have a ways to go. But I took my first ballet class in 13 years, but first modern class in 15 years, and my first tap classes again in 7 years. All initial classes were extremely hard and painful on my body, but overall rewarding. I have been taking zumba classes again which have been a huge help as well. I missed being in the dance studio..I use to be in the dance studio 6 days a week every day after school and on saturdays and had so many memories. Most of them dancing of course, but the overall experience with being with my friends and the ones I stay close to today. I miss those days every day spending them in tap shoes, ballet and jazz shoes, and getting there early to hang out with my friends. The hard work we put in made us into a family and although we are all not together anymore, it still gives me those memories to go back to and relive.

I feel like I havent moved on from that point in my life...I still feel like I live in those days and havent grown beyond that. Not that I want to be doing it again, but that it was a special time in my life that I feel like I have not had that after that time. I dont want to let those feelings go and being back in the studio now and dancing again is giving me that chance to be close to the arts and express myself the way I use to, because I feel like I cant and dont anymore, as much as I want do. I dont have the words or courage to really express myself the way I want, but when I dance, I feel like that is when I am most connected and able to express myself the way I want..but thats all I think ill be able to do.

I have relied on everyone close to me this year to help me in many different ways, whether its support me, listen to me, or just overall be there for me. I know I have social anxiety, and I have been trying to work on it, but I know I have a ways to go. I still feel like I dont have anything to say, or cant say anything when Im with others. If we talk about something I know about and interested in it I know I can be more responsive, and I have her to help me with it as she helps to break me out of my shell. I have her in my life, and we have grown so much together all these years, and I think about all the good times with her every single day as its calming and helps me with my anxiety. The smell of coffee and rain will always soothe me as she is the life embodiment of that which calms me. We have been through a lot, and I cant imagine life without her... She is my everything and I dont know what I would do without her. I want her to know how much I love her..she deserves so much better than me, but I need her to know that I will always be there for her through thick and thin and do my best to make sure she is safe and happy forever.

The house has been doing good, we finished putting in the fence which came out so good! she did such a good job of designing and planning it out! Naya loves it so much. It was so much work though...but it was worth it in the end.

The rest of the year was spending it with family and friends, officially getting back together in person for events and just hanging out. It was so great to have so many friends come back into town and get to hang out with them without the worry of masks or getting sick with all of our booster shots. I hope that continues for this year.

A life long friend of mine also get married this year! I am so happy for her and her husband now. My social anxiety didnt really let me go up to them to really congratulate them and talk with them more, but I hope they know how happy we are for them and so excited for them to start this journey together! They dont live in NM anymore, but are not too far away and hope to see them as much as we can when they come back home or I go there for trips and conferences.

I also started more official work with my dance company and helping them more from an official capacity, which I thought I would never do! It has been rewarding and definitely a life experience to be able to help in this way and try and bring the same about of joy and support to the children of NM that my dance company did for me!

D&D adventures continue and we have made so much progress. I love playing with my friends and seeing them every week to do this. This is something I look forward to every single week and I hope they feel the same for me. I tried to do my best for them this year when a lot of things started to get difficult for everyone, and I hope they know they helped me as well. That's what friends are for!

Overall, I think thats all for now. 2023 is aiming to be an interesting year and im looking forward to continue the betterment of my health and hopefully reach my goals. I hope to continue dancing and expressing myself as much as I can, and I hope my knees can continue to carry me through that.

That is all for now!

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Winter is Coming

Im very different from most people when it comes to weather. Summers are always nice but I really dont like the heat. I have always preferred the fall/winter seasons where it is much cooler. I was born in the winter time so maybe that is why, but the gloomy-ness of winter never bothered me. It might be because ive always been an isolated/loner type, that im okay with not having much interaction and things like that. Im the kind of person that loves the rain/snow and when it is cloudy outside, so that I can just stay home and relax with this scenery.

Very much looking forward to this fall/winter season. The coolness is coming early, but I think it will be good.

That is all for now! And as always: Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Second Star to the Right

I grew up fascinated with the cosmos, thus my major obsession with sci-fi shows and movies (especially Star Trek). It all started when I got my first telescope when I was a kid. It was a small, red refactor telescope (don't remember the lens size but it was pretty small). It didn't have much power, but it was very fun to use. I didn't know what to focus on when I was using it, so I mostly looked at the mountains in the distance, some bright stars at night but still didn't quite know how to search for things in the sky.

It wasn't until I got my 2" reflector telescope that I could start to see some better objects in the sky. That is when I first saw the Orion Nebula through a telescope for the first time. I didn't know what I was looking at at first, since it was so blurry and very dim through the telescope. But I knew I was looking at Orion in the sky and roughly in the location of where the nebula should have been, so I knew it was it. It was so fascinating to see..and ever since, I have been fascinated with the night sky, becoming an amateur astronomer from that point on. I pulled out this telescope every chance I got to look at things with my friends and family and any astronomical event that came my way.

I went onto college, where they had a student campus observatory. This observatory had an Astronomy Club (which I later became president of, and Angie, the vice-president) that would operate this facility, which included a 20" dobsonian/reflector telescope, multiple 13"/14" reflectors for portable use and in a dome with CCD imaging and a Takahashi refractor telescope in a dome with CCD imaging. I was able to see so many things in the sky with these telescopes and I cherish the time I had there to make use of these instruments to see my dreams come true of seeing the vast galaxy around us up close. I was able to learn how to use the CCD imaging telescopes to take so many pictures through the Astronomy Lab that the university offered, and I took many pictures to caputure these objects in the sky.

Although I don't have a telescope anymore, I have astronomy mode on my Pixel phones (started with the Google Pixel2 XL, and now currently Google Pixel 5) and have much enjoyed its capabilities to take many pictures around me to capture beautiful shots of the night sky!

Here's to hoping I can get a telescope again in the future and take even better shots of all of these!

Until then!

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Late Night Thoughts

One day, I hope that I can look up at the night sky and know what is beyond our current comprehension of the universe. It's mind blowing to know that we have no idea if there was an actual beginning or if there will be an end.

The universe as we know it was created almost 14 billion years ago...but why? And why then? And what was before? And how far does it go? Why doesn't it have an end? And if it does, what is beyond that? It can't just go on forever, can it? Something or someone must have an understanding of what is beyond the universe, but how could we ever stop asking questions beyond that? What is our purpose in this universe other than waking up every morning, going to work, coming home, and then starting it all over again?

I've always been someone who never wanted to do anything in life. I've never had the urge to go traveling, learn new languages or learn about new cultures. I've always just lived in a fantasy world through others eyes to see what was beyond my view. Maybe it's because I don't want to know what is out there.

I sit now under the star light, gazing up at the stars, trying to understand my role in this journey of life, because I'm not stopping to see the sites or get the experiences, and I'm okay with that. Traveling among the stars would be a thrill ride but would it solve all of my curiosity, or just open up more questions? Sometimes I wish I could be out there, riding on a beam of light across the vastness of space observing all that I pass. And will it suddenly come to a grinding halt? Who is to say, but odds are I will just ride for all eternity in the darkness of space and may never know the answer.

I think about the time of when I hope to find my purpose in life and the true meaning of the universe, because this can't be all that it was meant to be. Why give me the freedom 6o choose and be who and what I want to be, but not give me the strength to do anything about it?

Just a thought as I lay under the stars...

As always:

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Thoughts on my thoughts

I write these posts because I don't know how else to communicate my thoughts to people. I am a very isolated person and have never learned to share my true opinions and feelings because I always felt like no one really cared to hear them or would always think differently of me if I did. That is no ones fault but my own of course.. I know people do care and know they would like to hear them, but it just doesn't resonate with me for some reason. I see people being so outgoing and always sharing everything they can, and I get so jealous of that confidence knowing no matter what they way, it will be accepted.

Everyone wants to be heard and be seen in this world. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves to others to leave their mark on this world. I used to have dance to do that, to express my feelings, and call upon my life in those moments to act out how I was feeling at that time, no matter what I was feeling. That was very personal for me and my chance to tell people how I really felt. It may not have always come across clearly as again I was not telling people what I felt, but it was my chance to tell my friends what I was really feeling and things I have wanted to tell them for so long but just couldnt. I cant do that anymore...and there are days that I wish I would have continued with dance to help keep that medium available for me to express myself. I still hold a lot of things that I have wanted to tell people for so long, but I may just have to keep it all in for now, as I still dont know how to tell them.

I was reminded recently that it is okay to express myself and that it is important to do so so that way people who do care about me really know what I am going through so they can help. It still feels weird to have to do that, after growing up keeping in everything and not partaking in conversations just because I did not have the courage or integrity to share my opinions and thoughts. I think it was because I always felt scared of being rejected and not included because of what I was really thinking, and that ended up pushing me to stay silent and isolated to this day.

I am very much a socially awkward person to this day because of all this. Put me in a group with my friends or peers talking about anything other than work or what I do on a daily basis, and I just sit there and listen. Put me on a one and one situation and I am fine to talk and share things as I feel comfortable. There are times I wish I could just jump into a conversation and talk about no matter what it is about, even if its just stating the obvious, but most of the time if its something im not familiar with, instead of asking more questions about it to learn more, I just stay silent. I am good at my job, and I am good at coordinating projects and tasks to my team to help get the job done, because that is what I became comfortable with, and because its not personal to me, its just business and work. How can I translate that confidence into my personal life?

So that's all I wanted to share, was that I do have opinions and thoughts on this world that I want to tell people, but i just cant do it (and probably never will). I write this to the internet to know how I feel about my inability to share my thoughts and feelings, and even though I dont know who will ever read or see this, I still dont have the confidence to share my feelings truly. They are slowly coming out in these blogs, but there are things that have happened in the last 30 years of my life that I wish I had the courage to share and to tell people about, but for now, those are going to be with me and may never come to light. And that is fine, I know I what I know and as much as I want to tell the world all that I can, I dont think I will be able to. So I share this with you, the internet, because I see in myself, what the rest of the world is also going through. I know everyone in this world does not have a voice because of many things, oppression or just being like me, not sure they want to share what they want to share for fear or having people see them differently. I am so sad to see what this world has become, what society is turning into...and I feel the blame of it because I dont have the strength to really share my thoughts and opinions. I dont associate myself with those who I think are making this world worse, and just dont have the capability to do anything about it.

But with that, I do want to say that I am happy, that I do have someone in my life now to tell anything I want to, and that I know they will accept me for who I am and for what I have become, because she loves me...and I love her so much!

And with that!

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Cue the Orchestra!

I grew up loving music, not so much the latest pop trends that were floating around school, but more on the side of instrumental music you find in classical or movie soundtrack genres. I learned to play the piano, and learn pieces such as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata that I loved to play and put my heart and soul into. I stuck to classical pieces, learning songs that I grew up with and danced to,and some jazz pieces, but once I got in to TV/movie series, such as Star Trek, I started to really love and listen more closely to movie soundtracks.

It sounds weird to say that when I watch a movie, the biggest thing that always stands out to me first when watching a movie is the music score. I pay close attention to the composers for these music scores and sometimes base my movie watching on who wrote the scores for the movies I may want to watch. Lately I got back into the mood of only listening to music scores again, so I thought I would share some of my favorite music scores that I never skip when they come up on my shuffle:

1) "Chevaliers De Sangreal" by Hans Zimmer

I really enjoyed all the Dan Brown books, and when The Da Vinci Code movie came out, I fell in love with Hans Zimmer's score for this movie, especially this ending song to wrap the movie. The build, the orchestra sounds, the emotion/feeling of the scene, all got me choked up. This song is the #1 song I always test on any new audio system (new speakers, headphones, etc) to feel the full power of the song and the build. I would love to hear this be played in person by a full orchestra

2) "King of Pride Rock" by Hans Zimmer and Elton John from The Lion King Original Broadway Cast

Needless to say, Hans Zimmer is one of my favorite composers of the modern era. Any time I see his name for a movie score, I know he will make the movie worth watching. Both the original movie ending, 2019 version and broadway versions are all powerful, show true emotion and power behind the talents of all the musicians and singers, and its a strong finish to such a wonderful score as a whole

3) "The Burning Bush" from Prince of Egypt, Hans Zimmer

Yet again, Hans Zimmer is on my list with another beautiful soundtrack. This movie adaption of the Book of Exodus was great, and being catholic really stands out for its true meaning and a wonderful way to show kids this rendition of that part of the Bible. This scene is the burning bush that Zimmer portrays brilliantly through his composition, the power and fear of the scene and relayed perfectly through the music

4) "Water from the Same Source" by Rachel's

This song was one of the very last dances I got to perform on stage as part of Company XCel with NDI. My senior showcase modern class performed a dance to this song in which we got to explore our own movements and feelings going into our final year of performing with the company. This song holds a big piece of my heart as this was one of the final pieces I got to dance alongside my friends and my era of dancing was slowing coming to an end. I have such fond memories of dancing to this, dancing with my friends and putting my heart into one of the very final performances I would be doing as a dancer. This song is a reminder of that past, the friendships and feelings that made me who I was growing up and who I became today.

5) Star Trek: Insurrection by Jerry Goldsmith

Star Trek holds an important part of my life growing up, as it allowed me to escape reality and live in a universe of pure fascination, allowing me to explore space as I never will be able to. I bought a main theme piano book for all the Star Trek popular scores, but the Insurrection score was one of my favorites. I created my own cover of the song that I performed for my family and friends and to this day is one of the few songs I still remember to play on the piano. Here I am performing it for my piano recital

6) Tasha's Farewell (From "Star Trek: The Next Generation") by Ron Jones

Finally, to end my favorite orchestra songs, this song from Star Trek The Next Generation signifies the passing of a crew member, but also caught my ear as a power movement to show ones emotions and dedication to portraying a major turning point in life. This scene was power, and even though we didn't get to know the character for very long, the series still took the time to dedicate almost 10 minutes of goodbyes for their passing, and this song covered the whole scene perfectly. I have shared this with a few people, but my hope is when my time comes and I have passed on, that this song would be played on my behalf, not to mourn, but to celebrate my life and how much everyone meant to me.

As always,

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Leaving 2021 and the Journey Towards 2022

Another year has come and gone, but every year I am more thankful for the things in my life that has given me the experience and support to continue to carry on in this journey we call life.

2021 brought many interesting challenges along the way, but no more than the rest of the world fighting the pandemic. Luckily, we got the vaccine to help us fight this battle and has allowed me to spend time again with the family and friends I was not able to see in 2020 and allowed me to hug the people who I care the most about again. I was lucky enough to continue working from home and spend more time with my love and our dog. More importantly, I stayed healthy and continued to do my best to protect others from this pandemic that continues to rage on.

This past year brought many new memories. We finally took the time to look for our first house and officially moved into one in April (see other post for more details). It was a challenge, but we found a place to finally call our home and give us the space we were needing. We spent weeks organizing things (and re-organizing) but we finally made it what we wanted it. We even started on some landscaping, adding in a new walkway, planting new aspens and lots and lots of weed pulling.

We continued to play more and more D&D with our friends Luke and Rachel throughout the year, who officially moved to NM this summer as well so now we can play in person! They were of first official guests in our new house too and Naya greeted them with plenty of doggie kisses every morning.

We didnt get to do any camping trips this year (a few hikes and day trips we found throughout the summer), but we hope to do that in the next summer now that we have settled into the house. The garage door opener was installed for us to park in a garage finally and we organized a lot of our camping gear to make it easier for us to just hit the road at a moments notice (the real test will be Naya who hates being in the car and we have not had a chance to take her camping yet).

The greatest joys that happened this year though were my two closest and life long friends getting married! I was not able to attend one of the weddings, my friend Eli's, due to pandemic restrictions leaving the country, but I watched it virtually and I could not have been happier for him and his now wife to finally come together and celebrate the beginning of their lives together. I wish him and Jen a life long happiness and I know they are perfect for each other and will thrive together now as one! The 2nd wedding though was here in NM. One of my closest friends Jocelyn tied the knot with her husband and I dont think I have ever been so happy for her and them both now! That day brought so much happiness and celebration and we were able to see other life long friends come back home to celebrate with her. Angie and I could not be more proud of Jocelyn and Cal for their celebration starting their lives together and it was such a wonderful day to join them under the beautiful NM late summer skies.

Jocelyn's wedding also happened to fall on mine and Angie's 10 year anniversary together! Angie and I spent that morning celebrating together and trying out a vegan truck we found close to our home. It was such a perfect morning to share in that experience of living our lives for 10 years together, and continuing on together for eternity. I love her so much and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her and beyond...

2021 brought sorrow as well..an old friend I grew up with passed away unexpectedly. I had lost contact with him over the years and it brought regret that I did not stay in better contact with him. He will be truly missed and not forgotten, as his laughter and friendship will live out in all of us. His passing allowed for other life long friends to get together again and share our best memories of him, and reminded us to cherish every moment with our friends and family always.

As we move onto the next year, I don't have any new years resolutions. I continue to try and make myself better each day, and with Angie (along with Naya, our family and friends), we have all the support to continue to grow as a family. I thank everyone who has helped us along the way and supported and guided us.

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

The Journey Home with our New Companion

It has been a while since I have wrote anything, but for good reason! We just recently bought a house! It was months in the works and planning and looking and figuring out all the next steps, but it all came together!

We had started thinking about it as soon as she came back. There was a lot for us to consider, but this was one of the bigger decisions that we had to discuss and if it was time for us to find a place of our own. We had rented for many years, different apartments in different towns. All of them being too small or too far away from each other. But now we knew it was time to start settling. The big questions were how and where?

We started putting our extra time into learning about how to buy a house: Taking classes for first time home buyers, buying books on what real estate is all about, what are the financial stakes it all of it, etc. As we read more and more into it, the more we realized how scary it was and how much effort we will need to put into something like this. We knew we wanted to be together and in this particular town, but we had to consider all the possibilities and start drawing towards the end goal on how we were going to accomplish all of this.

We were really considering it more and more and started to even discuss different house types and styles, but then the pandemic came, and put it all on hold.

Like the rest of the world, everything came to a halt and we were stuck at our apartment. We decided to put the house hunting on hold for now, as it would have been difficult to look at houses while trying to keep socially distant. We still continued to evaluate options and start planning for how we would approach this again soon once things started reopening. The more and more we were planning for this though, the more we realized there was another thing we wanted in our lives, a new doggie.

We knew we had a place in our heart for our previous dog who passed away a few years ago: Lassie. She was such a wonderful dog and lived many many years until it was her time to go. That left us with a longing for a new friend in our lives, but living apart made that realization difficult to accomplish. But now that we were living back together, this was an opportunity to open that door again. After looking at many different dogs at different animal shelters, we landed upon our precious little Naya (also, not so little anymore).

She quickly stole our hearts, and she became a big part of the family. We got so attached to her, and her to us, that we knew it would be impossible for us to move apart again. Naya was about a year or so old when we got her, and she was a pretty decent size already, but she quickly grew and we realized how much energy she had. We took her to the dog part or on hiking trails almost every single day, but we knew our apartment with a very small yard was not going to cut it for her. We knew we had to now find a new home not just for us, but for our Naya as well.

The new year came, and with that the opportunity to start looking for a new home again. The pandemic was still in full force, but we were starting to see the light at the end slowly but surely. We decided to push forward and begin the processing of finding a home. We spent months working with our real estate agent and mortgage lender on the whole process, trying to figure out all the details, our financial situation, our wishes and dreams on a home (it seemed like there was so much that went into this process that we began to worry if we were making the right choice or not). We saw so many houses, all of them with very positive things, a few with not so many positive things, but all of them surely worrying us on our financial decisions and long term views on what we wanted in our first home.

After many declined offers and jumping on opportunities as they came up, we finally found a perfect home in the middle of town. Big enough for the two of us, but also plenty of room for Naya to be in the house and a half acre lot to run around in. The house was very well maintained, relatively new, and it a good location for us to still get to work and be close to family. The yard was well taken care of and fenced in already, so a perfect position for Naya to immediately enjoy the new space to run around in and make her own. Our offer was accepted and after a few months of prepping everything for ownership, we were able to close on the house, and finally have a place of our own.

This is just the beginning though, and now starts the next process in our lives of maintaining our home and making it ours and caring for it as we would anything else in our lives. We started lining up all the various projects we wanted to do, but soon realized our list became very long, and we would have to take our time with each of them. But we did it! We were able to finally settle and move into our new home, where we and Naya could both enjoy our lives together and start on this next chapter.

Here is to the many years of now paying off this mortgage, to all the work and effort we will put towards keeping it clean and to last us for many years to come, and to now being a place we can finally call home...

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Reaching to the Sky

This is the one blog I have wanted to put the most time and effort into, and has taken me awhile to come up with what I wanted to say about it.  

As you have gathered from previous posts before hinting at this, I grew up a dancer.  Seems shocking to think that given my lifestyle today and what I do that I spent a good amount of time in my life on the stage, below the stage lights, performing in front of hundreds of people.

The National Dance Institute of New Mexico (NDI-NM) is a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing the spotlight to every child, and teaching life goals through dance that will hopefully carry on into all aspects of their lives.  

I was 9 years old when I was introduced to this program.  I was in 4th grade, and our teacher told us a new program was coming to our school.  Our teacher showed us a video of these kids dancing, running across the stage and jumping over a big X on the floor.  I grew up in sports, playing baseball, basketball and soccer, so I was very much not looking forward to dancing (especially as a guy overall, thinking it was not for me).  

Sure enough, the first day of our dance class came around, and it was very much different than what I was expecting.  The dancing involved stopping,  reaching, stretching, everything I had already been doing in sports for the most part.  The most memorable part of it though, was gathering around the piano for “goodbyes” and having the pianist join in with saying goodbye with their music.  I was already very much into music and playing piano and very much into rhythms, so this was very fun for me to participate in.  

After a couple of classes, I started enjoying it more and more, and ultimately my dance teacher asked if I wanted to join in in a more advanced team with the program, that would learn more dances for this end of year show we were all leading up to with these classes.  I was part of the first class at my school that experience NDI, and when they asked my friend and I to join this after school advanced program, we didn’t know what to expect (little did I know, that I was about to lose my saturdays for the next 9 years).  

The first saturday came along and it was a very different program than what my school classes were.  There were kids my age from many different schools in my town, all very comfortable with where they were at.  I was never apart of something like this where I was brand new to something and wasn’t sure if I could do it.  I ended up telling my parents that I didn’t want to do it, so I missed the 2nd weeks rehearsal.  But after thinking about it more and more, maybe I needed to give it another try.  I ended up going back to 3rd weekend, and ever since then, I was apart of this program.

This first advanced program was called the Super Wonderful Advanced Team (or S.W.A.T), it was the first of the 2 after school advanced programs (mostly for the younger dancers).  I learned so many things about myself during this time, mostly that I did like dancing and working in a team to put together a show at the end of the year.  For sure it was scary being around so many other kids that I didn’t know, but they started to grow on my and I began to learn more about what NDI itself was trying to teach.  They were showing me that hard work always pays off in the end, that I can achieve anything I wanted to if I put my mind to it.  That first year was pushing myself to understand what I could and couldn’t do, and dancing and having fun while accomplishing that.  

The end of the first year brought the very first time I was on a stage under stage lights in front of an audience.  I remember being on that stage looking at all the empty seats in the house during rehearsals not fully understanding how many people were going to be staring back at me.  NDI has a thing called Runs and Jumps, where you run and jump over an “X” on the floor downstage center in the spotlight, that way every single dancer has a moment in the spotlight by themselves (and with 500 students to do that with, it look a few minutes).  That first year though I remember I was one of the very first ones to lead the line out for runs and jumps, and the first time I jumped in front of that spotlight, I was filled with so much excitement and joy that I never wanted to leave the stage, I wanted to perform for as long as I could as it brought me so much happiness.  That was the year everything changed for me and I knew that I wanted to continue.

For the next few years, I was invited onto the “Celebration team”, the more advanced of the 2 after school teams, to learn even more types of dances and more advanced steps.  The summer schools with this program helped me learn all different types of techniques at the same time: Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Hip Hop. Singing/Musical Theater, Acting.  The shows got more interesting, from shows about different kinds of beats, to opening of our history theater, kids running for presidents, history of the founder, Jacques d’Amboise and so on.  I got solos with singin’ in the rain, learned how to sword fight like a pirate and do tumbling, learned famous dances such as “A Chorus Line”, african drumming, also learned how to fight in a “bar fight”, stage acting of course.  It was so much to take in those years and always a new challenge with every single dance and show.

The NDI after school programs came to and end though at the end of middle school (as they couldn’t keep the program going for older children, but a group of us wanted to continue dancing and pursue more techniques to broaden our horizon of dance.  For that reason, a new pre-professional dance company was formed for us called Company XCel.  This company would focus on building our techniques in preparation for a potential career in dance.  This had me dancing every day after school, taking classes and lots of rehearsals for multiple shows a year (it was a wonder how I ever got homework for high school done).  We were performing all over our town, even a few trips out of state to perform in New York and Washington D.C (for the first lady!) At this point, dance was all I knew, and while I was finishing up high school, I couldn’t see myself doing anything else.  But I also knew that a dancer’s life was very hard and competitive,  I already had bad knees coming into my final year of high school and back problems that shouldn’t have been occurring for my age.  I knew I wasn’t going to get the best out of life if I only did dance, so I made the conscious decision to not pursue anything after high school and instead focus on computer science, but try and keep active in the tap dance community.

I went through a whole life in this dance program, from learning new life skills, to being confident in front of an audience (which helped in future presentations/speeches post dance).  9 years may not seem very long, but so much happened in those years that it seems like a lifetime ago today and all that was accomplished seems beyond my recognition today.  But through it all, the most memorable time through it all, were the friendships I made.  From the very first year, there were so many friends I was making, but a couple of them stuck out beyond the initial couple of years..  This group of dancers grew beyond friendship, we grew into a family.  We had to, we were dancing together, trusting each other with our lives in lifts and we had to know each other all deeply in order to bring the dance to its best.  We would all hang out after school together, attend events, parties, sleepovers, everything together.  I made friends that I am still very close with today, getting coffee and catching up about the time we spent together making this family.  If it were not for these relationships that were built and the confidence and support we all gave each other, we would all not have succeed in the different pursuits in life that we took after we graduated from high school and went our own separate ways to college.  Through it all, we had each other to grow upon, push ourselves, challenge ourselves and be more than we ever though we could accomplish as a team, as a company.

I thank NDI for what it has done for me and the teachers, musicians, and staff I had to bring that all into my life.  NDI brought a second home into my life, a place where I knew I could go to for help and support, to find time to just hang out and do homework, to prep and push myself beyond my physical limitations, and finally to wrap it all up to put on a show under the stage lights for thousands.  Even though I did not pursue dance, so many memories and life lessons were instilled in me that taught me a lot about myself, and how I can push myself to reach for my goals.  I would not be where I am today without my family and friends support and the path that it led me down to help me meet the love of my life, help me in my career and keep the long lasting friends through this new era in my life.  

I thank everyone involved with the NDI programs and everyone who supported me through those years in my life!

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Rhythm of Tap

In honor of National Tap Dance Day (May 25th), it is time to start talking about my life before taking off with technology and my career.  I will leave the overall story of my dance life for another day, but for today, just focus on tap!

Tap dance has been a big part of my life, start off learning how to do it at 11 years old.  I was playing piano from an early age (again a story for another day) and I grew up in a hispanic family where we would always bring our instruments to family reunions and camping to play into the night, so the rhythm and music was always in me.  Tap Dance came as another avenue for me to express the music within me.  I was never into rap music or beat boxing to express the music in my head, but Tap gave me that path to do that.  

A group of my friends and I start taking more advanced tap classes at a early age, getting more technique in, and focusing more on learning the history and heritage of Tap Dance.  We learned about Gregory Hines, Sammy Davis Jr, Jimmy Slyde, all of the great tap masters.  We would take tap classes from guest artists who had learned some of the famous tap dances from the masters and try and spread their knowledge and style of tap.  We would go off to far away workshops to take classes with other students pursuing that knowledge as well.

Tap gave me the ability to truly express myself and my feelings when ever I needed to do so.  Whether it was with my friends, improving to new music and styles, or by myself in the studio, it was always something I enjoyed doing.  Tap was an easy escape from the world, even if I didn’t have a studio handy.  I would make sure I always buy hard sole shoes so I can tap at the store in the isle when no one was looking, tap at school down the hallway to my next class, anywhere where the rhythm called.  I remember one time for a fundraiser, actually putting on my tap shoes and tapping around a grocery store to bring shoppers to our booth.

Tap became my main focus as a dancer.  Starting at the end of middle school, going into high school, my best friend and I wanted to do more with Tap so we would choreograph our own duets together.  Our teachers found out and asked if we wanted to perform them.  That is when the passion really started to hit when we could perform like that.  Express ourselves in our own styles and have the feedback from the audience to fuel our fire.  We did 2 duets together for different shows and to this day, those were 2 of the best dances I remember doing in my tap life.  

From that point on, all of my friends and I were begging to get more advanced with tap itself, and helping push each other to get better and learn more advanced steps.  We would try new tricks and try adding more sounds into complex steps already, to see how fast our feet could go.  Our teachers would have us throw in some of these steps into pieces because they knew we could do them!  

My first class I began to teach myself was for younger students.  My dance program asked me to teach for some summer internships some basic classes. I give such great respect to teachers because a lot of work has to go in to planning and helping students learn what they need to learn before moving on up in the world.  That was my responsibility for these beginners classes, teach them the basic steps of tap, the basic syntax/words of the language that they can expand into more complex sentences after those summers.  Having the basic steps in seared into my brain, I thought it would be easy to pass on, but having a room full of 30x 9 year olds, all with tap shoes and banging them on the floor of the studio, I knew it was going to be much harder.

A few summers went by in high school and I was finally asked to take on some of the more advanced classes with peers closer to my age.  That was more scary because I knew these students personally, they were only a year or 2 younger than me, but I was able to help push them and start passing off some of the knowledge I had gotten from other workshops I had taken.  

Towards the end of high school, I also started dancing with the NM Rhythm Tap Ensemble, something my tap teacher at the time was a part of.  She invited me to join in on some of their tap pieces since she had taught them to us already.  These dancers would meet on weekends to pass on dances from their mentors and create new pieces for a yearly Tap Jam show.  They would make cool new arrangements out of them and perform them for the general audience.  I was so glad to be apart of a group like that, a team focused on keeping the rhythm of tap alive and sharing previous knowledge to others.  

Once high school ended and I went onto college, I had to stop most of my dancing career, but I did not want to give up Tap.  I continued to teach some tap classes and I stayed with that ensemble throughout college, taking classes with them and performing new pieces that we worked on.  We would bring in different guest artists to perform with for those shows and they would give us classes to pass on their knowledge.  It truly is a remarkable community to be able to do that and have each give their own flavor and style of tap to pass on at the same time.  

Once college ended though and work life began, I had to move to a different town for work and I couldn’t dance as often with the Ensemble.  I had to make the difficult choice to leave that life behind and focus on my career. As much as I loved Tap Dance, I knew I couldn’t put the effort into it to make a career out of. And without many tappers around me now, I didn’t really have any more strive to continue on.  That is one of my regrets in life, letting that part of myself die out.  I still have my tap shoes, I still put them on every now and then to take with friends or when I can visit a studio.  

The music and rhythm will always be a part of me though, and I still find myself tapping in the stores, singing rhythms with my voice, beating to the music at work, recalling all those memories.  To that end:

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

The New Frontier

So for those who might have guessed, I am very much a trekkie, and have been for a majority of my life.  I don’t actually recall the first time I watched Star Trek (ST) though...I was always into space venturing/Sci-Fi shows and movies though (Roswell, Lost in Space, Star Wars, etc.) so it was no wonder that I ended up with Star Trek.  I do remember my dad had a Star Trek Ornament that he had gotten of a Klingon Bird-of-Prey that we would put on our tree every year.  I ended up really liking that ship and wanted to learn more.

I remember my parents having a box VHS set of the pilot episodes that had been released to that point: The Cage from The Original Series (TOS), Encounter at Farpoint from The Next Generation (TNG) and Emissary from Deep Space 9 (DS9).  That must have been my first exposure to ST overall though as I remember watching that box set as a kid and being curious as to what came next after those pilot episodes.  I never really had an interest to follow up on TOS though (years later, now that I am actually putting the effort into watching those, The Cage was actually pretty good and whole series overall I could see had its flair at that time).  

TNG was the one I really want to expand on.  I would watch some shows that came up on TV every now and then but I really wanted to get into them overall.  I ended up seeing the movie ST Generations one day on TV, and remember thinking that it had something to do with time travel and saving Kirk.  Being ST incompetent though, I knew I had no idea what was going on (who these people were, why were they here, how did come to this point from the pilot).  I made it my mission to try and save up some money for the first season of TNG (by this time, the series was already over).  I ended up buying a very cool DVD box set of season one.  After watching that though, I knew I had to continue on.  

I would watch ST TNG on weekends and then throughout the summer, making my way through the whole season, saving up the money for the next DVD box set and getting started on it right after after getting the next season.  It took me a few years overall to make my way through it and save up enough money, but I ended up getting all 7 season box DVD sets including the movies.  I had loved that series so much.  I must have watched the whole series at least 5 times through.  That had become my Star Trek.

And sure enough, I was hooked and wanting to expand more.  I got interested in DS9 and would try and catch it and Voyager on TV when they would have reruns.  I never got through that whole series until they came out online or available to stream on certain sites, so those took me a lot longer to get through as I didn’t have the urge to want to buy all those seasons on DVD.  I finally made it to Enterprise and the TOS movies, and overall, I had loved the whole ST universe overall.  I would imagine myself aboard the Enterprise and walking through the decks, making my way to DS9 and stopping at Quarks, getting lost with Voyager and embarking for Earth, and learning the universe through the first Warp 5 ship, Enterprise, wanting to go beyond the confines of Earth.  All through those years though, I never actually sat down at watched TOS.  

Years later after getting through high school, the new movies came out and they didn’t sit well with me at all.  I was extremely hyped for them, making them more modern and I remember seeing the first trailer for it during the Cloverfield movie.  But then sure enough they came out and ruined it. They were ignoring the basic fundamentals of the Star Trek Universe, blowing away everything that Gene Roddenberry had created building up to all these TV series and just trying to make it an action packed adventures for the general audience (which I can get, but still..).  It was still ST so I made my way through them.  Discovery came out and that pretty much cap’d this whole new era of Star Trek. 

Star Trek Picard ended up coming out this past year and I don’t think I have been more upset with this whole ST remake ordeal.  The first episode of Picard had hoped and I get it the benefit of the doubt, but it just went down hill, storyline, ignoring the ST universe and making Picard himself seem like he was a completely different person (no longer the man who explored strange new worlds throughout the universe with the Enterprise D/E).

Overall, I don’t know how to feel anymore about these new ideas for Star Trek.  I find myself getting more and more upset watching them, but at the same time, not wanting to let go of it.  I decided to finally star watching TOS since I had never seen them before, and I can of course see why they are hard to watch in today’s age, but they had much more character and finesse to this idea of exploring and seeking new life.  I am about half way through them now.

Overall, I completely love ST.  I live every day in that world, basing my life decisions and everyday routines at that ideal.  I made my own star trek movie, read some of the books, listening to podcasts, reading up on technical manuals, anything I can to stay in that universe.  

It helps very much that I have a family who loves star trek as well as a best friend to help me discuss these things and continue on with these eras.  Unfortunately I can’t see these Star Trek series coming out being something I will enjoy. They try to hard to please a general audience and abandon its fundamentals of what the show should be.

I leave that here for now.  If any of you Trekkies want to discuss more or ask questions, please do so! I look forward to trying to keep my trekkiness going and making getting convinced that these shows will get better.  But for now...

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

J.M. Phone Home

Thought I would share what my phone home screen looked like (since we are getting to know me). I have been an Android user for a all my of smartphone years. I had "dumb" phones all through college (using an iPod touch for smart uses) but I didn't get my first smart phone until I shared full time work after college. Android's flexibility and phone options really hooked me on. Went from Nexus phones to Samsung phones, up until Google released their Pixel series. I fell in love with the Pixel and I am currently using the Pixel 2 XL (waiting to see what the Pixel 5 might bring).

Being with Android, I got into the many different options and uses I could do with it. I am a very organized person so I like to have order to my life, including use of directories and sub trees (CS background).

Starting at the top of the screen:

Google Pixel allows me to see upcoming events at the top of my screen (comes up from calendar). To the left is my Google Fi usage. Being an amateur astronomer (more to come on that in the future) I have to moon phase on the right.

Working down to the next row, on the left if a widget to opening up the scanning feature into Google Drive (for quick file uploads). On the right if the Google song search (pixel does this automatically on idle screen but still for easy access).

Next row, on the left, is my travel folder. Has all my apps for navigation, Google trips, hotels and ride share apps,etc. Very much needed when traveling. Middle of that row is the Google Fit widget showing my daily activities. Working from home now doesn't make that really useful for now but still handy. And to the right of that is the Google Sports widget, taking me to to all my sports news, scores and highlights (again not needed now with everything at a halt).

Next row, got my games folder. I play a lot of Android games every now, so that's where those are linked. Had all my apps for my gaming consoles as well. Middle of that, is my Google Keep launcher. If I need to do quick notes or lists, that's my app. It syncs across all my devices so very handy. And finally to the right of that is the new Google recorder. It records voice and translate it into text. I wish there was a widget for that that would start recording right away (but the app is new so I'm hoping in the future it comes).

Last row is most used. Starting on the left, all the Google apps I use. Gmail, maps, calendar, drive, YouTube music, News, etc. All my every day use apps for sure. Next is the business folder, contains apps for the stores and utilities I use. Middle is my communications folder, which has the Google phone, messages, duo etc apps for communication. Second from right, is the social media folder. Has most of the social and streaming apps I use on a daily basis. Lastly is my productivity app with my tools and resources I rely on to get stuff done.

Lastly of course at the bottom is the Google Assistant. I rely heavily on Google to get things done and interact with the world. From notifications to updates to keeping my day, I rely on the assistant for many things.

That's all for today! Not sure if that helped tell you more about me but that's my daily interaction on my phone and my needs in this digital world.

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

Digital Frontier

Ever since I was young, I was always into technology.  Computers became my frontier and I have been at it ever since.  My first experience with a computer is an old Packard Bell running MS-DOS.  I remember trying to figure out how to navigate that initial terminal prompt and not knowing how to get to my computer games.  Once I figured that out and got to the GUI, I started turning my attention back to the command prompt.  I remember being curious about what I could potentially do from their, looking at certain files and directories, querying system info, etc.  I learned from my science teacher in elementary that I could learn how to control that kind of environment and teach it to do things.  It was called programming.

Like most computer scientists, we all get introduced to computer programming at the age where we are most curious.  I was introduced to BASIC.  I would type a line into the “Learn to Program BASIC” terminal and it would output something.  I could program it to ask the user for something and it would remember it (store it) and I could use that information later.  My friend and I wrote a “quiz” for a science project, where the user would have to interact with our Q&A script, answer questions, and we would grade them for the number of questions we got.  Simple input/output script, but started me down this path.  I remember being curious about windows systems, our first macs we got in the school, and everything about them.  I was learning so much about how they worked, that the elementary school teachers were asking me to help them fix their computers or printers (to the point of taking me out of class).  

I remember in one of my computer classes in elementary, seeing a poster of my college on the wall.  It was a well known science school in the state and from learning about it more, I knew I wanted to go there for collect (6 years before I even got there).

I worked my way through high school learning more about computer design, how to do animation and computer graphics, web design, etc.  I got a job managing some mac servers for a digital library where I would digitize old tapes and archive them.  That got me interested in digitizing my life as well, taking old home videos and pictures and uploading them to the cloud to save them for as long as I can (backing them up of course in case all cloud infrastructures fail).

College came and I expanded my knowledge of computing in depth, taking major leaps in linux and computer architecture, software design and security.  All that leading up to my full time career helping support supercomputer systems.  System administration became my passion, the idea of trying to solve an issue by looking at the overall problem, using all the tools at my disposal, logging all information from system processes and applications, tying that all back to a  logging, logging, logging.

In today’s techno world, computer science is a very important thing that I think everyone should have some knowledge of.  It’s everywhere, in your cell phones, your smart devices, your vehicles, everywhere!  I am very happy that I found this at an early stage in my life and took a interest.  I may fit the stereotypical computer geek, but it has given me purpose and reason.  It has shaped my life and who I am.  

These are my thoughts for now.  More to come on my life!

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!

[jem1701]

The Beginning

So here we are.

First off, I have never written a blog before, nor have I ever sought to share my thoughts openly to those who I do not know.  I have had different types of social media over the years that were private where I would express myself to my friends and family, but those were people I knew and would trust enough to share that information with.  And even then, I would not sure that much information or thoughts with them.  Only with my close friends and family would I ever open up to with my personal thoughts and feelings on things that I felt would portray me differently.

For those who knew of me or worked with me on a professional level, most likely would see me as someone who was more relatively outgoing and knowledgeable of many different things going on, mostly in the capacity and venues in which they knew me.  But of course that is where I would shine when I was in my element and knew what I was talking about.  

But for those who really know me, knows that that is not the case a majority of the time.  I don’t consider myself an outgoing person or someone who is knowledge with day to day type things (i.e. what’s going on in the pop culture regions, what’s happening in politics, even what is happening in my community).  I have always a quiet person who always kept things and opinions to myself.  Mostly because because growing up I never felt like I had a voice or an opinion that people were interested in.  Primarily because I consider myself a geek and immersed myself in the worlds of science fiction and technologies, so trying to find common interests with friends and family in that aspect were hard to come by.  I was never into the latest artists or albums that were being released, I was never into the latest trends that were happening, nor considered the time and effort to try and be the average joe where I had some sort of humanly standards with what was happening in the world.  I have kept my appearance the same ever since I was a kid, not changing my clothing style, not changing my hair, not changing any of my day to day type interactions with the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I grew up in a loving family, and true native in the land of enchantment, and was immersed with loving family and friends who were always there for me.  I grew up in the sports world, playing baseball, basketball and soccer while in elementary, and after coming across the world of music and dance, did I drop all that to become a pianist and a dancer all the way through high school.  

Recently with this current state in the world, I have been thinking more and more about that though, how I have spent all these years keeping to myself and “fearing change” and my ways with which all I knew.  Now with more and more time to think about everything I have done these last 30 years, I think if given the chance again, I would have wanted to be more outgoing and forthcoming and opinionated with my thoughts and feelings.  

I am taking that first step with this blog to do just that and begin to open up to the world more about who I am, where I came from, and where I see myself growing.  Thank you all for your time and I look forward to expanding on everything mentioned in this first blog and moving forward with this attempt to branch out.

Hello World! Live long and prosper 🖖and keep the rhythm alive!