Yeah okay I haven't logged on to this Tumblr for over three months.
I'm glad to see that somehow I've gained followers and my posts are still getting notes. (????!?!?!?!).
My main excuse for not logging in was that my Ouija board sideblog got a massive boost in followers during October, asks were coming at me left and right, and I'm not far from 500 followers on it. I made it into a real, proper looking blog, I've actually helped people with advice, and all sorts of good things. I did some giveaways which were a huge success. It's a fun blog to run. But now that spooky season is over it has slowed down considerably.
One thing you guys may or may not know about me is that I have chronic migraine. About 90% of my day is spent with a bad headache, and usually three or four days a week I have a migraine. Two or three times a month it is a severe migraine in which I am vomiting and in excruciating pain. There are a lot of side effects to this disease, and 60% of migraineurs, especially female ones, are susceptible to depression. I've known this, and have been keeping an eye on my mental health to make sure it hasn't been developing.
Since August of this year, I've been getting a lot of depression symptoms. I'm staying home when I have opportunities to go out, I'm a lot less willing to go out and try new things, I'm emotionally on the rocks all the time, and when I am sad I am desperately, incredibly sad. One of the main symptoms is avoiding activities you usually enjoy, and one of those has been Tumblr. I've also been avoiding Animal Crossing, ballet classes, going to the movies, and even listening to Ayu (despite getting her name tattooed behind my left ear last month). So that, my friends, is the real reason why I haven't logged on.
The worst part is that the longer I don't log on, the more I want to avoid it. I do that with a lot of things. So I need to slowly get back into this to try to fight this darkness that has been invading my mind. Also with the fact that my home life is in shambles, and my Dad and I have been arguing since Thanksgiving and any minute I could be homeless, so when I'm feeling sad about that I even think about deleting my blog, because I can't run a Tumblr while being homeless. The other excuse I made for myself was like, when Ben got engaged I was like "oh I shouldn't log on because my dash will be all Ben" and then the grand jury verdicts for Michael Brown and Eric Garner came out and I was like "shouldn't log on now because it will just be protest news". I have to stop coming up with reasons to not do something I love to do.
Gonna take baby steps to get back into this. The stupid memes and jokes on here always crack me up, and I need more of that in my life. I think the first step is changing to url to not my name (or at least, not my last name since I think I would like it legally changed) so any suggestions are appreciated.
