Now They Live Like Dolphins

she was all but drowning

[haydiroket]

bEtTeR_tHaN_lIfE ✓

[qwantzfeed]

you may speak ill of the content of any kids today that you wish, but i will not brook any ill words against videos in which animals do something cute, nor those that have already been declared, by my generation, to be “america’s funniest”

***

HOW TO INVENT EVERYTHING is the perfect gift this holiday season!  SO I CLAIM

[mahjarrati]

[jncos]

[vainvaihe]

things got a little heated in the gc today

[thewolverina]

When ur troll friends reblog a thing that is other people trolling each other the exact way they wind you up.

[abelmvada]

MESSAGE FROM INTERNET CONTROL: Effective immediately all network traffic must be pastel. Any data packets sent containing Earth tones will be rerouted to the early 1970s where they belong (damn hippies!).

[heythatsmyleg]

THIS IS THE WORST CONTENT

[qwantzfeed]

great news: “bruce wayne” is still an entirely legal name

[reasonsmysoniscrying]

Wife: “Alright boys, time for a shower - and NO peeing into anything.” 6yo: “You’re only saying that because we filled that shampoo bottle with pee and left it there for weeks.” 8yo: “Oh yeah, and then when we squirted it, MAN did that stink!” 6yo: “Like a toilet and garbage!”

[vintagecomputers]

Intel 486 DX2 66 MHz

The Intel 486 (“four-eighty-six”), also known as the i486 or 80486 was a higher performance follow-up to the Intel 80386 microprocessor. The 486 was introduced in 1989 and was the first tightly pipelined x86 design as well as the first x86 chip to use more than a million transistors.

The 486DX2 66 MHz processor was popular on home-oriented PCs during the early to mid 1990s, toward the end of the MS-DOS gaming era. It was often coupled with a VESA Local Bus video card.

[fuzzyghost]

[johnnyssilverhand]

insp.

[qwantzfeed]

when it comes to precious bodily fluids, there are only winners and losers.  AND I PLAY TO WIN

[reasonsmysoniscrying]

Off topic, but I badgered my wife with questions about this for 30 miles and now it’s your turn to help me solve this mystery. Did he get the “TACOMAN” vanity plate because he owns a taco shop? Or just loves Tacos? And does he drive a Toyota Tacoma because the word Taco is so front and center in it’s name and he is compelled to blindly pursue all things taco?

Or did he get the “TACOMAN” plate to drive home just exactly how much he loves his truck and “Tacoma” was unavailable? Did he start out with the plate number “TACOMA1”, then, because of his undying Tacoma love, kept adding various Tacomas to his collection until he ran out of numbers, had to switch to letters (TacomaA, TacomaB, TacomaC) and this is actually the 23rd truck in his collection - the “TacomaN”?

A third option?

WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? OH, TACOMAN, WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME WITH YOUR MYSTERIOUS WAYS??

[justbadpuns]

Why do people with foot fetishes never win? Because they like the taste of defeat

[junkazama]

[mysharona1987]

[transhuman-priestess]

This is actually the biggest danger of dystopian fiction.

[mcmansionhell]

50 States of McMansion Hell: 10 Worst Pennsylvania McMansions

Howdy, folks! After surfing around Pennsylvania for a house to chew on, it became clear that one house was simply not enough to pay justice to this wonderful, Super Bowl-winning state. (CONGRATS TO THE BIRDS!!!)

I hope you find this #content soothing to those of you still recovering from your “sick day.” Without further ado…

#10: York County

(Reading a book about Victorian-era architecture)

“okay how can I make the worst possible version of this?” 

#9: Chester County

Sometimes people send me houses that they describe as “cult compounds.” While it’s unlikely that every house fitting the description is occupied by a sinister death cult, it is interesting that there is a type of house tied to the idea of cults. Usually it’s a very large, plain looking house with small windows that has an almost hotel-like appearance. On the inside, they usually look like normal McMansions, not to say that that by itself isn’t sinister… 

#8: Allegheny County

ok but hear me out though:

Photo via Dune Wikia

#7: Northampton County

I can only assume at this point that the party hat is a key cultural symbol of wealth in the state of Pennsylvania. 

#6: Montgomery County

How is it that every Montgomery County in the US is a verifiable McMansion Hell? Who was Montgomery and why is everything his name touches cursed???

#5: Also Montgomery County

I don’t even want to know what Freud would have to say about those stick-on hieroglyphs/caryatids. Really, I have so many questions about who was involved in the decision making process here. 

#4: Chester County

How is it even possible for dormers to have a head-on collision?? 

#3: Bucks County

Ok but this is at least 8 houses and none of them are good. Let me offer a suggestion, some serious architectural advice: make ONE GOOD house instead of several BAD houses.

#2: Cumberland County

What would our Tour of Bad be without an abandoned, half-finished McMansion that died off during the heyday of the real estate bubble? Sadly, now this home is as empty and incomplete as people who tie their entire self-worth to architectural signifiers of wealth. 

FINALLY…

#1: Butler County

This house is probably the one thing that dropped the ball more than Tom Brady (BADUM TISS). This house has every Pennsylvania McMansion Trope:

- several houses taped together - party hats - forms interrupting other forms - entire wings that make 0 sense

One can only hope this house melts before it sells. 

Well, that does it for Pennsylvania! I’m putting together a Looking Around post on Infrastructure that may end up taking another week or two, since it’s a lot to cover. Join us next week for our Rhode Island McMansion!

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar!  Or, Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2018 McMansion Hell. Please email [email protected] before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)