I often look over and ask my Husband if I am safe. Knowing I am, but wanting that loving, trusted validation to calm my mind and body..ā¤.Little things trip me up like a loud POP, outside or my children screaming, rushing to me, needing something right away. My first reaction is assessment, seriously to make sure we are physically safe. And then when I clear that as a Mother and prior Law Enforcement. I go into this racing moment. Where things move fast. I have to ask for help these days. Just on a loud noise. .A trigger is a trigger. Feeling that panic. Talking yourself down from such fear, doesn't happen without therapy, and understanding.. ā¤.Grateful to be able to afford therapy to help me understand what I have been through and overcome. What about those not so fortunate? That scares me. Complex Trauma is so new, unrecognized, not understood, unless you actually experienced it. .I'll leave you with this. I am not a Veteran but all of my Law Enforcement squad mates always wondered how I stayed up all night, all day. Crashed and then popped back up. This is disfunction, but when you aren't a veteran, yet a cult survivor, where do you go? Who do you talk to?.I will be speaking out more, since I have been liability cleared to do, since again, I am speaking the truth.. This beautiful process, is long..I will wrap it up but, I have been told I cannot write a book until my oldest is 18, for legality. Of course, I am mad. I waited 21 years to speak fully, but my children matter more than my full voice. .My mission: ā¤ Getting every single survivor properly diagnosed Complex, so they can then file for additional benefits within their state to obtain medical cannabis, mental health resources or therapy services just to process..So much work is yet to be done and I am just getting started..ā #thecptsddiaries #cptsdwarrior #cptsdrecovery #CPTSD #cultsurvivor.The CPTSD Diaries
I often look over and ask my Husband if I am safe. Knowing I am, but wanting that loving, trusted validation to calm my mind and body..ā¤.Little things trip me up like a loud POP, outside or my children screaming, rushing to me, needing something right away. My first reaction is assessment, seriously to make sure we are physically safe. And then when I clear that as a Mother and prior Law Enforcement. I go into this racing moment. Where things move fast. I have to ask for help these days. Just on a loud noise. .A trigger is a trigger. Feeling that panic. Talking yourself down from such fear, doesnāt happen without therapy, and understanding.. ā¤.Grateful to be able to afford therapy to help me understand what I have been through and overcome. What about those not so fortunate? That scares me. Complex Trauma is so new, unrecognized, not understood, unless you actually experienced it. .Iāll leave you with this. I am not a Veteran but all of my Law Enforcement squad mates always wondered how I stayed up all night, all day. Crashed and then popped back up. This is disfunction, but when you arenāt a veteran, yet a cult survivor, where do you go? Who do you talk to?.I will be speaking out more, since I have been liability cleared to do, since again, I am speaking the truth.. This beautiful process, is long..I will wrap it up but, I have been told I cannot write a book until my oldest is 18, for legality. Of course, I am mad. I waited 21 years to speak fully, but my children matter more than my full voice. .My mission: ā¤ Getting every single survivor properly diagnosed Complex, so they can then file for additional benefits within their state to obtain medical cannabis, mental health resources or therapy services just to process..So much work is yet to be done and I am just getting started..ā #thecptsddiaries #cptsdwarrior #cptsdrecovery #CPTSD #cultsurvivor.The CPTSD Diaries
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