London

'London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.' - John Watson, A Study In Scarlet

[jennistarjs]

In honour of my buying a car, here's a breakdown of the Holmes family's (plus James) driving behaviours:

(Forgive my British understanding of driving rules - it is because I am British)

Mycroft - Drives so carefully it's actually embarrassing. He always indicates, is always 5 miles under the speed limit, gives way to everyone and forbids any music or loud talking. His driving is so boring it lulls people to sleep - in fact Sherlock will often join one of Mycroft's drives just to have a nap in the back seat. Incredibly, Mycroft is the one that gets pulled over by the cops the most - he drives so legally, they're convinced he's up to something illegal.

Sherlock - He'd be the most unnervingly accurate driver the world has ever seen if he could keep his attention on the road for more than 10 minutes. Inevitably he starts deducing the people in the cars nearby and forgets he's meant to be driving. He has caused multiple crashes because of this, and has run over at least three squirrels. But no one can parallel park like Sherlock can parallel park.

James - Drives like all the hounds of Hell are after him. If someone tells him to slow down, he just speeds up. He considers anything less than 60mph to be an insult to the car and to the concept of driving in general. Despite this, he is an accurate driver and has actually caused less crashes than Sherlock. There's absolutely no way he would stop and swap details after a collision though.

Beatrice - Drives the car with deadly accuracy, loud metal music blaring as she talks on her phone, fixes her makeup and executes a perfect three point turn all at the same time. She has an epic case of road rage though - God help you if you try to cut her off, because she will hunt you down and she will not be merciful.

Cordelia - Gets even more distracted than Sherlock, usually by something adorable like baby lambs in a field, but this is worse because she has no concept of what a speed limit is. She always manages to somehow charm her way out of a speeding ticket though. James is banned from being in the car when Cordelia drives - he just encourages her.

Silas - He drives with a complete lack of care for others on the road and believes he has right of way always. If anyone tries to remonstrate with him, he will somehow convince them that it was they who did the wrong thing. He will sometimes get distracted if he's mansplaining something to his passenger.

Bonus -

Mrs Crowle - Drives with ten guns in the passenger seat and if someone refuses to let her join the main road, she will fire out of the window indiscriminately. The cops are too scared of her to bring her in.

[jennistarjs]

Today's Terrible Thought about Young Sherlock... (trigger warning for discussions about miscarriages and infant death)

So we all know there's canonically a 7 year age gap between Mycroft and Sherlock right? Well, considering the infant mortality rate in Victorian England was roughly 1 in 5, and that most married women would have a child every 2 years or so, it's not completely unreasonable to think Cordelia might have lost a couple of children to miscarriages or infant mortality in between Mycroft and Sherlock (in fact I think I read this theory Way Back When I was in my Granada Holmes era, although I can't remember where).

If that was the case, can you imagine what a blessing Sherlock must have felt like when it was clear he was going to survive his infant years? What a relief it must have been to Cordelia to have this curse broken? And how nervously coddled Sherlock must have been, both as an infant and in his childhood years, the Impossible Second Son. He could literally get away with anything and they'd just be happy he was alive, they'd be completely permissive.

And then, just a year later, Beatrice arrives and survives, and she'd be spoiled too, because she was also an unexpected blessing and a girl to boot, the daughter they'd never thought they'd have. Cordelia might be particularly attached to her because of this.

And then there's Mycroft, who would have seen the miscarriages and infant deaths, who would have felt his parents anxiety and the pressure on him as the only child for all that time, who would have seen and emulated their protectiveness towards Sherlock and Beatrice, and who is never able to shake off that feeling of responsibility his entire life.

And then think just how callous Silas had to be, to know that Cordelia had experienced the death of her children before and then to do it to her again by faking Beatrice's death, just to take her money. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd had mental breakdowns before about her infant children, and that was where he got the idea from.

I really hate Silas, is what I'm trying to say.

[jennistarjs]

So this is my terrible Young Sherlock thought of the day.

We all know that Silas Holmes married Cordelia for her fortune right? Or at least it was a huge incentive. She had the money, she had Appleton Manor which would have come under his control once they were married (hence the importance of the Married Women's Property Act in the show). She had all these advantages ready for Silas to take.

So imagine it. Cordelia meets Silas Holmes in her early 20s (Mycroft is 26 in the show, and I would put Cordelia in her early 50s). Silas isn't rich, or at least isn't anywhere near as rich as her. But he meets this person who is clever, imaginative, witty, loving and adventurous (this person who is probably one of the only people who can keep up with Silas's genius), but also a person who is eccentric, perhaps a little mad, and so is likely misunderstood by those around her, which makes her lonely.

So Silas charms her. It's not difficult, because he likes her, but also he sees an opportunity here. This is someone he can manipulate, someone who is so open with her heart and so lonely that she will blind herself to Silas's flaws and to any nagging doubts she might have, someone whose talents and advantages he can use, and if she ever does try to cause trouble - well, he can just say she's crazy and dismiss her suspicions.

So he marries her, and they spend almost a whole life together before it all goes awry.

So how many years do you think it will take before Cordelia looks up one day and focuses her gaze on Sherlock and James -

Sherlock, who may have the intellect and the scientific curiosity of his father but has the open heart, artistic flair, adventurous spirit and madness of his mother (Sherlock, who at least in this stage of his life is "his mother's son"), and James, who is charming, ambitious, a genius, a man who is always on the look out for an opportunity, who has latched onto Sherlock like he will never let go -

- And Cordelia thinks: Oh no. It's happening again.

[isadorethefool]

art I made of james moriarty (young sherlock) inspired by the fic “Carnations” by Jennistar, and Alphonse Muca paintings :)

The building interior is directly inspired by the 1813 engraving of The Radcliffe Camera library in Oxford by John Bluck

please do not repost offsite without credit!!

[jennistarjs]

Stunning ❤️ thank you!

[jennistarjs]

They make me feral

[edelwizen]

It’s May 4th. Happy anniversary, Sherlock.

quick art for Jennistar, author of Carnations, THE fic to be reading on may 4th.

[jennistarjs]

James and Sherlock are drift compatible but in a way that benefits no one.

[jennistarjs]

Having watched both Young Sherlock and The Other Bennet Sister, I can now confirm James Moriarty would eat Tom Hayward for breakfast.

[mango-season]

Trista Mateer, "Baggage", from Honeybee

[jennistarjs]

If this ain't them

[jennistarjs]

This or That - Young Sherlock - Sheriarty edition

(taken from random prompts I found all over the place so none of it makes sense but whatever)

Summer or winter?

Both summer. James loves the extra daylight and less restrictive clothes and Sherlock likes not being cold for once (the dude has thin skin).

Night owl or Early bird?

James is such a natural night owl, do not talk to him before 10am, he was up late drinking whiskey and he will cut you. Sherlock can go either way depending on his mood, but he's rarely just normal. It's either a 5am or 11am wakeup.

Full breakfast or ‘grab a bite and run’?

They've never sat down for a proper breakfast together, there's too much to do! Mycroft is the full-breakfast-with-a-newspaper kind and absolutely hates it when they occasionally barrel into his peaceful haven talking loudly about absolute nonsense, steal two slices of toast and down three cups of coffee within minutes, then run off, leaving a complete mess behind.

Coffee or Tea?

James is such a black coffee drinker and will easily have five cups a day if he doesn't stop himself. Sherlock will have tea when he's relaxing, coffee when he's on the case and needs a caffeine kick.

Dogs or Cats?

James is a dog person through and through - he's also a dog whisperer, they just love him. Sherlock appreciates the contrary attitude of cats and quite likes it when a cat flat out ignores him.

Books or movies?

Books for both, they will swap them with each other and then argue vehemently about them. If a book has been turned into a movie, they will watch it only to revile it in disgust because it's not as good as the book. They are massive book snobs.

Outside or inside?

Outside for both - there's running around to do and they have way too much energy.

Warm colours or cool colours?

James likes warm and bright colours - his favourite colour is red. Sherlock prefers cooler and more neutral colours on himself but likes his surroundings to be a bit more interesting. James provides the interest to the max. James overprovides, frankly.

Coziness or opulence?

James is all about the opulence where he can get it and Sherlock likes cosy. It's a bit of a mess when they first start living together but Sherlock usually gets his way.

Sweet or savoury?

James has the most horrific sweet tooth you've ever seen - he never really got sweets growing up so he can go overboard at times. Sherlock will judge him while eating rice cakes - he has never understood the concept of having flavour on food.

Beach or forest?

I think they both like the cool depths of a good forest. The beach is too exposed, too bright, too distracting from their thoughts.

Leather or denim?

Omg modern day James would so be a leather guy, and Sherlock the blue eyed denim wearer that inadvertently breaks hearts.

Company or solitude?

James pretends he always wants to be around people but he secretly hates too much of it. Sherlock is one of those people who is alone even when surrounded by people.

Text or call?

I can see modern day James nattering a lot on the phone whereas Sherlock loves to text. But they will talk on the phone together for HOURS.

Climb the stairs or take the lift?

Not only do they climb the stairs, they make it a competition as to who can get to their destination first. James most definitely trips Sherlock accidentally-on-purpose.

Love at first sight or get to know them?

James will decide he loves someone five minutes after meeting them. Sherlock is our demisexual queen which was why James came as somewhat of a surprise to him because he was smitten almost instantly.

Prude or horny?

Everyone thinks Sherlock is the prude and James is the horny beast. But once Sherlock has learnt the ways of the world, so to speak, he can be surprisingly kinky and utterly uncaring of what people around him think. James is just along for the ride, honestly.

Order the same meal or something new every time?

Sherlock doesn't care about food and would eat the same thing day in and day out (hello autism) if James would let him, but James seems to be on a mission to get more vegetables in him at any available opportunity. James on the other hand will try any food once and has eaten the weirdest things.

Bus or Train?

James loves chatting to random people on the bus. Sherlock absolutely hates the bus with a passion - it is full of unwashed weirdos who stand too close to you and it takes forever to go anywhere. Sherlock would rather walk miles than take a bus. But trains - oh he loves a train more than anything.

Smiles in every photo or ignores the camera?

Sherlock didn't even notice the camera, he was thinking about something else. James is a camera whore.

Shower or bath?

They're both too impatient for regular baths, although occasionally Sherlock does like to marinate in one for a few hours if he needs to do some thinking.

Board games or video games?

Both, and they are insanely competitive about every single thing they play. Co-Op games take some getting used to but once they put aside their pride and work together they are absolutely formidable.

Art museum or history museum?

Sherlock loves art and could spend hours staring at a particular painting. James is a bit more flighty and moves around museums erratically looking at the things that catch his attention the most, but he's a big fan of the parts of history museums that are about kings and conquerors.

Being on time or being late?

They are both extremely late for everything, constantly. It drives Mycroft right up the wall. Sherlock was bad but James has just made him worse.

Washing the dishes immediately or waiting until the sink is full?

Sherlock cannot leave anything unwashed for more than five minutes. James would forget dishes even exist for several days if he could. This has led to many arguments.

Truth or dare?

They both hate telling the truth about anything and they love daring each other into doing outlandish things, the more risky the better, and neither of them ever backs down. They are no longer allowed to play this game in the company of others.

Playlists or podcasts?

Sherlock is an expert at finding the most obscure podcasts that have 10 listeners and being completely obsessed. James makes song playlists for every single situation - he has one called 'Sherlock nagged me about cleaning again' and it is just angry heavy metal screaming for two hours.

Driver or passenger?

James banned Sherlock from driving after he got distracted making deductions about the people in the next car over and drove them into a tree. Sherlock doesn't mind, he's a passenger princess at heart.

Comedy or Horror?

James is a massive horror fan and finds them quite funny. Sherlock watches from between his fingers.

Dine in or dine out?

Dine out for both as long as they're doing it together - they love making deductions about the other people in the restaurant.

Love or money?

Oh dear. Sherlock has never known a life without money and he is an attention starved boarding school boy - he would secretly choose love every time although he would never admit such weakness. James, though, is all about the money and can let that poor boy desperation take him over if he's not careful. This is one of the main issues in their relationship and rarely gets resolved to their satisfaction.

(Any more y'all got?)

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters - would they get in a bar fight, why, and would they win?

(Should probably add I do not condone violence but fantasy bar fights a la Pirates of the Caribbean are the literal best. Also I added Camnir to the list because he is baby)

Galadriel – She invented bar fights. She’s also the reason bartenders cut people off when they’ve had too much to drink. Someone looks at her funny and the next thing they know, they’re hanging off a light fixture with half their teeth missing. The bar owners would blacklist her but they’re secretly way too impressed (and scared).

Elrond – He’s definitely the type to de-escalate a situation with words, even with several drinks inside him, but there are some things that just set him off. If you say anything bad about his family, Elrond will throw down. He’s pretty unstoppable too. People have learned to duck under tables when he gets a particular look on his face.

Gil-galad – He has people to do the fighting for him now. On the rare occasion someone doesn’t know who he is and tries to cause trouble, they’ll be pummelled to the ground by three bodyguards before Gil-galad has finished his whiskey.

Celebrimbor – He’s a gentleman and he doesn’t start fights, but he also has a temper and he won’t back down. If you stepped on his toe and tried to blame him for it, you’d be in for a bad time. He looks unassuming but dude works in the smithy all day - you just know one punch from him would knock you into the middle of next week.

Cirdan – Fighting is a young elf’s game and Cirdan mostly stays out of it. If you tried to start trouble with him, Cirdan would somehow arrange matters so that you injured yourself trying to fight him. Then he would shake his head at you disapprovingly while you were picking yourself up off the ground and somehow make you feel ashamed of yourself.

Arondir – He will give you two chances to back off when he tells you to. Then he will make your life a living hell for several excruciating minutes and not feel an ounce of guilt about it. He owes several bars compensation for the arrow holes he has put in their walls.

Camnir – Baby boy would never start a fight and wouldn’t know what to do when he’s in one, but that doesn’t matter because if anyone tried to pick on him, they’ll have to deal with several very possessive, very mean Elves. As a result, people are generally friendly to Camnir despite his wide-eyed innocence, so he thinks bars are the nicest places in the world.

Durin IV – See, Durin looks like trouble and has in fact been kicked out of bars for instigating a fight even though he was in the toilet the whole time, but actually he’s usually the one talking people down from doing something stupid. He has a low tolerance for bullshit though, particularly after several beers, and he will absolutely break a pool cue over someone’s head if he thinks they’re being moronic. Or if they messed with Disa. Or if Elrond asks for backup. Okay, maybe he does get in a few fights...

Disa – People don’t really bother Disa because they like and respect her so much (and they’re scared of Durin), but if some idiot does decide to push their luck, she’ll be twisting their balls in one hand in a second, and they’ll be grovelling on their knees before Durin even gets the pool cue off the wall.

King Durin III – In his younger days, King Durin was well known as a troublemaker and even today the older bar owners will find themselves reaching for the panic button when he walks through the door. But he professes those days are behind him, apart from that one time someone cut the queue and he had to break all their fingers. But that was one time, you know? He’s totally retired now.

Narvi – Like most Dwarves, he considers a good bar fight as a kind of therapy. He’d happily throw punches all day and then go off with his victims to get a kebab when the bar closes. There’s no malice in anything he does and if you land a punch on him, well done you!

Theo – He is absolutely the type to get into some stupid argument with someone and refuse to back down even if it’s clear it’s not going to end well. He couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag and always gets the crap beaten out of him. You’d think after the first twenty times, he would learn his lesson. He doesn’t.

Estrid – She’s pretty chill until she feels threatened. If some creep tries to come onto her, she will react like a cornered animal and go for the eyes. She’s pretty proud of some of the injuries she’s caused in the past.

Isildur – He really doesn’t want to get in any more fights, the police have come round his dad’s house far too many times, and yet somehow he is always dragged into them by his friends or Estrid. He seems to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to explain his actions to authorities. He’s pretty scrappy when he’s in a fight though, and you won’t soon forget it.

Elendil – Dude has the same calm demeanour as Gil-galad when it comes to trouble but none of the backup. People always seem to want a pick a fight with him. When he can’t talk them out of it, he will fight, but he will incapacitate them with minimal damage to their person or the surroundings. The man definitely knows several types of martial arts.

Miriel – She will ignore trouble for as long as she can (usually caused by creeps trying to hit on her or idiots who don’t realise she can’t see), and then when she has reached her limit, she will drain her drink and smash the glass over the person’s head without a single word. She’s known as ‘Glassbreaker’ in several bars, and people love and fear her.

Earien – What she lacks in strength and size, she makes up for in spirit. She has quite a high tolerance for bullshit and will usually just argue with someone all night without resorting to violence, but if you’ve truly pissed her off, she will be on you before you know what’s happening. People who have seen her like that flinch whenever she makes any sudden movements.

Valandil – The king of getting involved in others problems and somehow always getting the worst of it. He’ll be the one going to A&E even though he didn’t exchange more than two sentences with his attacker.

Pharazon – He will sit around loudly debating politics and espousing his horrible views about the world until someone finally gets fed up and punches him in the face. Somehow he’s always surprised by it every time.

Kemen – Kemen once walked into a bar and twenty minutes later it was on the news as the location of one of the worst fights in history. He never stepped foot in another bar again.

Nori and Poppy – They will definitely unintentionally cause some kind of accident (they dropped a drink and someone slipped, they stood on a toe or two) and end up in the middle of a scuffle. They’re pretty good at getting a few well aimed punches in and then running for cover before things get too serious. Most of the time people have no idea what hit them.

The Stranger – This guy always ends up getting the wrong end of the stick and unintentionally insulting the person he’s talking to. Then when the inevitable fight ensues, he will win by accidentally tipping over something that knocks the person unconscious. People soon learn to give him a wide berth – not because he’s dangerous but because danger just seems to hang around him.

Tom Bombadil – Was he even at the bar? You were sure you saw him a second ago. Yet now there’s nothing beside you but an empty chair, several coins on the table and the faint smell of oranges and sheep dung in the air.

Adar – He likes to pretend he’s too old for such nonsense but in reality it really doesn’t take much to set him off. Insult his children one time, and he’s on his feet. He will always win a fight, and in the most efficient yet unnecessarily brutal manner. No one comes back for a second round and they always learn their lesson.

Sauron – Sauron doesn’t start fights, Sauron manipulates others into starting fights and then sits back and watches while drinking a fruity cocktail with a paper umbrella in it. 🍹

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters - Types of Fanfiction They Write

Galadriel – Publicly turns her nose up at the ‘hedonistic frivolities’ of fanfiction but has a secret account no one knows about where she writes the filthiest dubcon smut you’ve ever read.

Elrond – Writes long, involved multi-chapter fanfics full of detail and character development that take him years to complete. He’s basically writing novels at this point. Has a small but very dedicated fanbase.

Gil-galad – Once wrote a poem that was an instant hit amongst multiple fandoms and has not written a single thing since.

Celebrimbor – Writes fanfics with romances that are weirdly toxic although he doesn’t seem to realise this. Will defend his characters to the death and does not listen to any criticism.

Cirdan – He was writing fanfics in the early days on sites you’ve never heard of. You can’t even access these sites anymore, let alone read anything he wrote.

Arondir – Soft romantic bean. He is the master of hurt/comfort, with much more comfort than hurt. He would never write smut, but he would write long involved lovemaking where everyone ends up crying and cuddling.

Durin IV – Cannot write a single sentence of fanfic, but loves reading them. Is the type of reader everyone longs for – leaves likes, insightful comments and constantly recommends to others. Is always the first to like and comment on anything Elrond or Disa write.

Disa – Writes epic stories with epic characters that stay in your head long after you’ve finished reading, and she makes it look effortless.

King Durin III – Once said “what is a fans fiction?” Doesn’t have a clue.

Narvi – Writes weird romances between different races that makes people look at him sidelong. Gollum/Balrog slash? He invented it.

Theo – Fanfiction is not cool, and he will tell people that repeatedly as he reads yet another smut fic on a secret account.

Estrid – I’m sorry to say it, but she’s fully invested in straight vanilla fanfics that might as well be in the romance section of a bookshop.

Isildur – Pretends to love the straight vanilla romances. Secretly into some wild BDSM shit.

Elendil – Self insert fanfic, all about knights rescuing fair maidens. Dedicates every single one to ‘the lady who has my heart’. He thinks he’s being subtle. He is not.

Miriel – Likes Elendil’s fanfiction on a secret account. On her main account she will get involved in a fandom, drop the best 1000 word oneshot you’ve ever read, then move on to the next while you’re still reeling.

Pharazon – Definitely watersports. Just…just a whole lot of watersports.

Earien – She has no time for smut, she’s here for deeply involved relationships that are both twisted and beautiful. If dicks touch, she’s out.

Valandil – Reads all of Arondir’s fic and adores it. His own fanfics are so sweet they will give you cavities.

Kemen – Will troll a fanfic, absolutely tearing it apart. Then copies it almost verbatim and posts it in another fandom, getting all the glory for himself until he is inevitably discovered and shamed. Never learns from this and will be doing it again next week.

Nori and Poppy – Write fanfics together, which means that nothing they write actually has a coherent plot, but they are clearly having so much fun that everyone enjoys them anyway.

The Stranger – He didn’t realise you’re supposed to make stuff up and just writes a diary about things that have happened to him today. Somehow this has garnered him several fans who absolutely love reading along.

Adar – He will write NSFW fanfic that will curl your toes with its passion and eloquence. All the Elves are jealous of him. The uruk are forbidden to read his stuff ‘until they are older’.

Tom Bombadil – Created the fanfiction sites.

Sauron – Oh god. You just know he writes the most generic fanfics but somehow has a huge cult following that is inexplicable. His fans are all raging lunatics who will defend him to death but he never pays them any attention. Absolutely obsessed with Galadriel’s fanfic and is the only one that knows about her secret account.

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters Favourite Reading Genres

Galadriel – Insists she only reads non-fiction, because why would you waste your time reading about people and places that aren’t real. Would rather die than admit she likes romantasy.

Elrond – One of those rare people who actually likes literary fiction and will bore people to death talking about it. His guilty pleasure is Dan Brown books, which only Durin knows about.

Gil-galad – Usually too busy reading articles and journals for work, but does like a bit of poetry.

Celebrimbor – Classic sci fi nerd. Arthur C Clarke is his hero.

Cirdan – Goes on about books that were written centuries ago that no one knows anything about.

Arondir – Loves books about natural sciences and gardening. He and Galadriel host a monthly non-fiction book club – they’re the only ones who attend.

Durin IV – Action thrillers all the way. The more nonsensical the plot, the better. Once read a poem about a tree that made him cry for 3 days straight.

Disa – Loves fantasy with strong female characters and interesting magic systems.

King Durin III – Listens to audio books but won’t tell you what they’re about.

Narvi – Loves comedies and can often be found sat in an alcove roaring with laughter over his latest read.

Theo – Uses a kindle only, mostly so people won’t be able to tell what he’s reading. Secretly a fan of trashy romance.

Estrid – Reads romance, but surprisingly discerning in her taste and likes complex relationships.

Isildur - Just reads what Estrid reads and has the same opinions Estrid has.

Elendil – Loves old legends with dashing heroes and fair maidens. Loves writing self insert fanfiction where he is the dashing hero and Miriel is the fair maiden.

Miriel – Is that person who will recommend an obscure book that you’ve never heard of, then it turns out to be the best thing you’ve ever read and completely changes your life. How does she find these books? No one knows. (She definitely knows about Elendil's fanfic though.)

Pharazon – Reads motivational self help books. None of them do him any good.

Earien – Likes a good political treatise or spy thriller. Will discuss them intensely as you sit there wondering what the hell she’s talking about.

Valandil – Bizarrely loves the classics. He can talk about Jane Austen all day long.

Kemen – Doesn’t read. Listens to podcasts about how to be an alpha male. Worst person you’ve ever met.

Nori – Loves adventure stories where characters discover new and exciting lands.

Poppy – Fantasy queen. Prolific reader. If you ever mention you like fantasy, she will give you a recommendation list as long as your arm.

The Stranger – Gets way too emotionally invested in characters and has been banned from reading after The Very Hungry Caterpillar destroyed him for a week. (“Why does he never have enough to eat?!”)

Adar – Loves histories, and particularly enjoys discussing where great leaders went wrong. Once read a parenting book and tried out various tips and tricks on the orcs, which was very confusing for all concerned.

Tom Bombadil – Reads Lord of the Rings and looks into the camera like he’s on The Office.

Sauron – Read Mein Kampf and decided Hitler didn’t go far enough. Loves psychological thrillers. Reads the romantasy books Galadriel likes so he can message her incessantly about them (she leaves him on read).

[thephoenixandthecrocodile]

I was inspired to draw this ridiculous monstrosity by this post and my conversation with @varda-star-queen

I call it: A Hungry Harfoot Meets a Hungry Caterpillar: A Tragedy

Moment 1 a hungry caterpillar says he's hungry. A grey wizards says he's sad. A brown haired Harfoot says she's also hungry

Moment 2. the Harfoot eats the screaming caterpillar while the grey wizard shouts NORI!!!!

Moment 3. a full and content Harfoot lies down while rubbing her belly and says that was tasty. The grey wizard collapses to the ground and says I am sad AND traumatized

[jennistarjs]

Perfection 🥰 particularly the screaming caterpillar 🐛

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters Favourite Reading Genres

Galadriel – Insists she only reads non-fiction, because why would you waste your time reading about people and places that aren’t real. Would rather die than admit she likes romantasy.

Elrond – One of those rare people who actually likes literary fiction and will bore people to death talking about it. His guilty pleasure is Dan Brown books, which only Durin knows about.

Gil-galad – Usually too busy reading articles and journals for work, but does like a bit of poetry.

Celebrimbor – Classic sci fi nerd. Arthur C Clarke is his hero.

Cirdan – Goes on about books that were written centuries ago that no one knows anything about.

Arondir – Loves books about natural sciences and gardening. He and Galadriel host a monthly non-fiction book club – they’re the only ones who attend.

Durin IV – Action thrillers all the way. The more nonsensical the plot, the better. Once read a poem about a tree that made him cry for 3 days straight.

Disa – Loves fantasy with strong female characters and interesting magic systems.

King Durin III – Listens to audio books but won’t tell you what they’re about.

Narvi – Loves comedies and can often be found sat in an alcove roaring with laughter over his latest read.

Theo – Uses a kindle only, mostly so people won’t be able to tell what he’s reading. Secretly a fan of trashy romance.

Estrid – Reads romance, but surprisingly discerning in her taste and likes complex relationships.

Isildur - Just reads what Estrid reads and has the same opinions Estrid has.

Elendil – Loves old legends with dashing heroes and fair maidens. Loves writing self insert fanfiction where he is the dashing hero and Miriel is the fair maiden.

Miriel – Is that person who will recommend an obscure book that you’ve never heard of, then it turns out to be the best thing you’ve ever read and completely changes your life. How does she find these books? No one knows. (She definitely knows about Elendil's fanfic though.)

Pharazon – Reads motivational self help books. None of them do him any good.

Earien – Likes a good political treatise or spy thriller. Will discuss them intensely as you sit there wondering what the hell she’s talking about.

Valandil – Bizarrely loves the classics. He can talk about Jane Austen all day long.

Kemen – Doesn’t read. Listens to podcasts about how to be an alpha male. Worst person you’ve ever met.

Nori – Loves adventure stories where characters discover new and exciting lands.

Poppy – Fantasy queen. Prolific reader. If you ever mention you like fantasy, she will give you a recommendation list as long as your arm.

The Stranger – Gets way too emotionally invested in characters and has been banned from reading after The Very Hungry Caterpillar destroyed him for a week. (“Why does he never have enough to eat?!”)

Adar – Loves histories, and particularly enjoys discussing where great leaders went wrong. Once read a parenting book and tried out various tips and tricks on the orcs, which was very confusing for all concerned.

Tom Bombadil – Reads Lord of the Rings and looks into the camera like he’s on The Office.

Sauron – Read Mein Kampf and decided Hitler didn’t go far enough. Loves psychological thrillers. Reads the romantasy books Galadriel likes so he can message her incessantly about them (she leaves him on read).

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters Do The Christmas Quiz

Team Elves:

Galadriel – Thinks she always knows the right answer and will argue with anyone who disagrees with her. Gets in a huge argument with 'Annatar' about the lyrics to 'Last Christmas' which drowns out half of the music round.

Elrond – The designated person to write down his team's answers. Uses the opportunity to correct Galadriel's wrong answers. Secretly wishes he was on Durin's team - they look like they're having more fun.

 Gil-galad – Wrote the quiz, so is not allowed to compete.

 Celebrimbor – Excels at anything to do with history or translation. Absolutely abysmal in the music round.

 Cirdan – Only knows things that happened in the First Age, anything modern completely passed him by.

 Arondir – Backs up Galadriel when she insists on her wrong answers, but when he occasionally has the right answer, she will listen to him.

 Team Dwarves:

Durin IV – Too busy getting the beers in and making sure everyone is wearing a Christmas hat.

 Disa – Aces the music round.

 King Durin III – Asleep in a chair - he's had a long day fighting Balrogs.

 Narvi – Tries to secretly get the right answers from Celebrimbor using a very complex series of hand gestures. Gets discovered and promptly thrown off the team.

 

Team Pelargir:

Theo – Texts in a corner and refuses to get involved, but has excellent knowledge of current events which he will throw out here and there.

 Estrid – Will sit there silently until she suddenly comes up with the right answer for a random question just at the last minute.

 Isildur – Talks himself into knots trying to figure out the right answers to the cryptic Christmas crossword round and misses the rest of the quiz as a result.

 

Team Numenoreans:

Elendil – He knows a lot of the right answers but he loyally waits for Miriel to say it. If she doesn't, he politely suggests it.

 Miriel – Knows Elendil could win the quiz singlehandedly and sometimes pretends not to know the answer just so he can suggest it.

 Pharazon – Googles the answers under the table.

 Earien – Horrifically competitive and will shout down the quiz organiser if she thinks the correct answers are wrong.

 Valandil – Just wants to have a nice time in the pub and didn't ask for any of this.

Kemen – Wasn’t invited. Now blocked from the group chat.

 

Team Halflings (plus Stranger):

Nori and Poppy – They only have the answers to the Christmas food round. They completely ignore the rest of the rounds in favour of eating their way through a huge cheeseboard.

 The Stranger – Comes up with the answers for the previous rounds in the middle of the current round. Gets super confused when he realises they've already moved on.

 Tom Bombadil – Has the most eclectic knowledge. Knows the answers to the obscure stuff but cannot for the life of him work out the anagram of 'Whtie Chrstimas'.

 

Team Bad Guys:

Adar – The only one who beats Elrond in the literature and poetry round. Stops the rest of the Orcs from declaring war on the Elves when they lose the music round, but only just.

 Sauron – Wanders around in the form of Annatar sowing the seed of doubt into the Elves minds until he gets distracted in his argument with Galadriel. The night ends when Durin throws a beer over him.

(The Elves win, mostly because of Elrond, but also because Gil-galad marks the quizzes and gives them lots of sneaky half points)

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters Play Scrabble

Galadriel – Protests that this isn’t her kind of game and then puts down several unexpected triple word scores, blowing her competition out of the water.

Elrond – Puts down words no one else has ever heard of and will fight to the death to prove they are legitimate.

Gil-galad – Turns up right at the end, puts down an incredible word, then leaves.

Celebrimbor – Oddly brilliant at making words that combine perfectly with other words.

Cirdan – Gets distracted reminiscing about other Scrabble games he’s played in the past.

Arondir – Words are not his forte. He frowns at the board a lot, but he looks very pretty doing so.

Durin IV – All his words are to do with weapons or rocks, and he gives up halfway through to get drunk instead.

Disa – Puts down many different words for ‘rock’ and argues that they are all Dwarven translations. Probably cheating.

King Durin III – Puts down ‘Balrog’ and then shakes in a corner for a while.

Narvi – Teams up with Celebrimbor to make new combinations of word that no one has ever heard of but somehow sound really legit.

Theo – Puts down only swear words.

Estrid – Has a better vocabulary than anyone expected and does passably well.

Isildur – Is too busy talking about how amazing Estrid is to actually play himself.

Elendil – Does well until he realises he might beat Miriel and then throws the game.

Miriel – Can play Scrabble in her head and comes up with some amazing words. Knows that Elendil lets her win and berates him about it later.

Pharazon – Definitely cheating.

Earien – Knows all the tricks and tips, is the kind of person who wins the whole game with the word ‘oh’.

Valandil – Keeps getting screwed over by Earien’s tricks.

Kemen – Wasn’t invited. Again.

Nori and Poppy – Get bored very quickly, when they stand up to get more food they accidentally tip the whole board over and no one can remember where any of the words were.

The Stranger – Thinks the idea of the game is to invent new words, and has so much fun doing so that no one can bring themselves to correct him.

Adar – Poetry in motion. He puts down words that makes the Elves cry to see them.

Tom Bombadil – Keeps swapping out all his letters for new ones and then puts down the most incredible words right at the end of the game.

Sauron – Swaps his rubbish letters for other peoples when their back is turned and then gaslights them into thinking nothing changed.

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters Go Bowling

Galadriel - Almost gets a perfect game but misses out on one point because Sauron turns into Halbrand to distract her. Broods about this all night long.

Elrond - Keeps forgetting to take his turn because he's chatting with other people. Only scores a strike when Durin bets him he can't.

Gil-galad - Didn't turn up. Too much work to do.

Celebrimbor - Spends ages judging the angle that the ball needs to roll in order to hit the pins with maximum effectiveness. When he does roll, it only knocks over one pin. Complains about this to anyone who doesn’t run away fast enough.

Cirdan - Scores a decent score, not because he's naturally good but because he has centuries of practice.

Arondir - Scores well and makes it look effortless. People stop their conversations to watch him roll because it's so elegant.

Durin IV - Throws the ball so hard he smashes up the lane and is thrown out. Cheerfully accepts his fate and sits at the bar nearby so he can cheer Disa and Elrond on.

Disa - Scores the perfect game and wins. No one saw it coming.

King Durin III - Too distracted by his shiny ring.

Narvi - Doesn't want to play, never wanted to play, only turned up because Celebrimbor is there. Props up the bar and listens to Celebrimbor's ranting with good humour.

Theo - Sits in the corner texting his friends and complaining about being dragged here.

Estrid - Is too busy cheating on her fiance with Isildur to even start playing.

Elendil - His attention is too taken up with helping Miriel roll to focus much on his own game.

Miriel - Didn't need Elendil's help but accepts it anyway so they can flirt with each other.

Pharazon - Gets Belzagar to roll for him. Berates him when he doesn't roll well enough.

Isildur - Too busy snogging Estrid. Is actually a very good bowler when he puts his mind to it.

Earien - Rolls with deadly accuracy, is horribly competitive, sucks all the fun out of it. No one likes playing against her.

Valandil - Keeps rolling with skill and finesse but has the worst luck (balls get stuck in gutter, pins refuse to fall over).

Kemen - Wasn't invited.

Nori and Poppy - Ordered all the food and drink and are stuffing their faces. They roll well but the balls are a bit big for them. The Stranger helps them with their go.

The Stranger - Doesn't understand the rules, gets more confused when people try to explain it to him, ends up bowling down someone else's lane.

Tom Bombadil - Sits in a corner singing, and when someone asks if he's going to play, he just laughs enigmatically.

Adar - Helps Glug and the other Orcs learn the game, forgets to actually play himself.

Sauron - Glares at the pins until they all fall at his feet.