Jenny Green

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

the dbd crew absolutely lacks the ability to understand money. like edwin and charles haven't had to buy anything non-magical in 30+ years, crystal was the kind of rich to buy designer toothpaste if she felt like it, and niko was born and raised in japan with a very different currency than the states. needless to say, local father-figure-by-default jenny has her work cut out for her.

jenny: ok, just off the top of your head, how much would you pay for a carton of milk?

edwin: 15 pence

charles: i dunno, a 'buck 50?

crystal (confidently): 12 dollars

niko: *doing math*

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Kids these days, wait.

Those days?

Whatever, I can’t keep up anymore.

[lbbctimeout]

I understand Edwin Paine on a cosmic level, actually. It's a science.

[montyisntacrow]

And right in the middle of that is the friendzone (the part where i come in)

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

You should totally look into cockroaches, we don’t really die

-@therizzedupcockroach

That's because you cockroaches can withstand up to 900 times their body weight under compression forces. You exoskeleton is made up of overlapping plates that are connected by a stretchy membrane. This allows you and other cockroaches to flatten out and provides extreme strength against anything compressing against these plates.

[therizzedupcockroach]

Explains why my brethren look creepy when someone does manage to kill us

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

Because you're left with the exoskeleton. Basically just a shell of the cockroach.

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Can I sell the meat?

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

I do not believe cockroach meat would be particularly appetizing...

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Well then Edwin, what do you suggest I start selling. The shop has been destroyed enough I don’t see how more damage could be done.

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

What you used to sell before? You have to have a supplier or something.

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Yeah well my insurance didn’t quite cover that whole supernatural arson thing, so I’m trying to find something a little lower cost

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

You should totally look into cockroaches, we don’t really die

-@therizzedupcockroach

That's because you cockroaches can withstand up to 900 times their body weight under compression forces. You exoskeleton is made up of overlapping plates that are connected by a stretchy membrane. This allows you and other cockroaches to flatten out and provides extreme strength against anything compressing against these plates.

[therizzedupcockroach]

Explains why my brethren look creepy when someone does manage to kill us

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

Because you're left with the exoskeleton. Basically just a shell of the cockroach.

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Can I sell the meat?

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

I do not believe cockroach meat would be particularly appetizing...

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Well then Edwin, what do you suggest I start selling. The shop has been destroyed enough I don’t see how more damage could be done.

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

You should totally look into cockroaches, we don’t really die

-@therizzedupcockroach

That's because you cockroaches can withstand up to 900 times their body weight under compression forces. You exoskeleton is made up of overlapping plates that are connected by a stretchy membrane. This allows you and other cockroaches to flatten out and provides extreme strength against anything compressing against these plates.

[therizzedupcockroach]

Explains why my brethren look creepy when someone does manage to kill us

[edwinpayne-deadboy]

Because you're left with the exoskeleton. Basically just a shell of the cockroach.

[jennys-meat-cleaver]

Can I sell the meat?