[only-cat-memes]

[depsidase]

[thememedaddy]

[blueskittlesart]

1 minute of washing machine time is like 10 minutes human time. they live on a completely different scale that we could never begin to conceptualize

[velartis]

Franz Kafka, 1912

[dark-augustine]

Me to myself

[blackbackedjackal]

An aquarium in Japan was closed for renovations, and their resident sunfish got depressed not seeing visitors. So the staff put some uniforms with printed faces against the tank, and it immediately recovered.

[kitty]

tthhh

(store)

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[eighthdoctor]

[tweet by Laureen Bazzi @laureenbazzi: idk how to explain this but thursday, october, and 8:00pm are all the same end ID]

[dealanexmachina]

80% of the work week, 83.3333% of the day at 8pm, 83.333% of the year in October.

[racketghost]

It’s so charming to see this on my dash because Thursday, October, and the number 8 are all the same rusty brown-orange color according to my synesthesia.

[memesonthehour]

[falonah]

what is it about rain that makes worms go absolutely buck wild for pavement

[falonah]

worm: no longer can i suffer the constriction, both of flesh and soul, of living in the tunnels of underground, for i now long only to be free under the skies of the Saints. earth may have birthed me but the sun is my mother

me, holding a slurpee, plucking worms off the sidewalk and tossing them into the grass: go the fuck home brian

[ampervadasz]

[24ozsteak]

[sss]

sss

[praial]

Uruguay: “The Hand” sculpture that rises out of the sand of the beach in Punta del Este

[em-dibujsb-deactivated20200929]

i’m rewatching death note :D

[pr1nceshawn]

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[hiddlesherethereeverywhere]

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

[titenoute]

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

[honeybeehusky-blog]

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

[tkthegoddess]

Reblog this.💯🗣💋

[catchymemes]

[beggars-opera]

Once again, The Onion is not even in the general vicinity of fucking around