The Cool Blog!

Mostly dimension 20/dropout content with a smattering of whatever else I’m obsessed with right now!

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

tiktoks with vine energy pt. 29

[theehorsepusssy]

[thecryptkeeper]

i love women

[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

[millenianthemums]

listening to fleetwood mac is like. i don’t know this song but let’s give it a shot. oh wait i do know this song. i’ve heard it a million times and always liked it, i just didn’t know the name. on some level i kind of assumed that song was just an ambient part of the world the way the sound of the wind or birdsong in the trees was but apparently it’s by fleetwood mac. neat.

[beemovieerotica]

hate it when pets learn words, my dog flips out when he hears "greenie" so we had to start saying "G word" but now he knows G word so we have to say shit like "are we out of emerald indulgences"

[maxwyl]

lestat said kill yourself and armand made one of his bandmates jump in front of a train. lestat made fun of armand's sexual performance and past as a child sex slave and armand helped his boyfriend leak a video of lestat having sex with his own mother. you go low he goes to hell hall of fame

[sevibun]

mordred girlies

[shaneaxel]

i just KNOW troy and ilya have the most vile, twitter cancel-able text conversations. they’re hockey players (insults as bonding), queer, had/have terrible fathers, became friends when they were both going through it…

troy texts ‘running late’ and ilya responds with ‘faggot.’ troy hearts the message. they send and make kill yourself jokes. they’re rating their shits. when hr-verse charlie kirk gets shot, troy is sending the video and ilya is hearting it. obviously they’re vetting dick pics but the ranking is incomprehensible. troy is making russia jokes. they’re sending sonic porn. creating convoluted bond-villain style ways to kill people (only like, 75% of the people have actually wronged them)

[afcroyjamie]

[argillaforma]

ilya and svetlana's friendship is so good they're childhood friends, they're lovers, ilya is her gay best friend who is also a straight bro, svetlana is his only voice of reason, they fuck, they do girls night, they pick hookups for each other, sometimes they can't stand each other, they would kill for each other

[insaneandlovingit]

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

[problemnyatic]

desired you while the women flee

[regainingparadise]

When #myshane retires, he doesn’t go into coaching or podcasting or whatever.

He becomes a consultant who shitty teams trying to not suck, good teams who want to last further into the playoffs, great teams who want to finally win the cup, call to Fix Them.

He is paid absolutely bonkers amounts of money to watch a team play for five minutes and immediately diagnose what’s wrong with them. He is always right.

Ok 5 minutes is probably an exaggeration. The coaches send him a bunch of tape to review in advance. They probably focus on their best players or the ones they think need the most improvement, but half the time Shane requests more, focusing on players they hadn’t paid much attention to before. Then one day at practice, the players look up into the stands and are filled with awe, terror, and wonder, because Shane Hollander is sitting there staring directly at them with a scarily thoughtful look on his face.

He meets with the coaches and gm and reports his conclusions. Who to trade and for who , how to get better results from certain players, how to run power plays and penalty kills, changes in line makeups.

Some lucky players get to meet with him. He takes about five minutes to list off or demonstrate everything they need to do to stop sucking. He has no time for chit chat or hero worship. Focus, listen, learn, and do exactly what he says and you will be good. Fail to do what he says and you will shame your entire bloodline.

I think that, if he’s not the one actually playing, this would be a dream job. It involves Knowing Things About Hockey, Judging Shitty Hockey Players, Getting Recognized As The Best at Hockey, Being Correct, and Making Hockey Better. He should get to do all these things

[binkythegeek]

I will add that he contracts Yuna and Svetlana to do research on players and coaches. They get so good that the league starts requiring that he sign contracts saying he will never acquire ownership of any teams. And when teams sign him on they MUST agree to sensitivity training before he even starts his evaluations.

[actuallysara]

day 191 of noticing: ilya in seat 108 and shane in seat 109, next to each other since the very beginning

[loveridden1999]

what are white gay men going through

[starrynet]

exactly

[whyenn-reader]

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

[emi--rose]

I provide obstetric care, including abortions, and this is a conversation I have on a regular basis at work, whether it's about contraception or a pregnancy or HRT or whatever, and it's so hard to predict regret. I tell people that and I hope they remember me, years down the line, whether or not they regret their decision, reminding them to be kind to the past self that made that decision.