Hiatus Notice - and stuff
As some of you might have noticed I havenāt been active on here, or like anywhere actually, for awhile. Nan has, as always, been running our Twitter account so itās only active because she is. I feel a bit like Iāve been more or less chased out of my own fandom lately and have decided I need some time off. Iāve lost the enjoyment for writing again, and Iām not going back to how it was before IBFY where I hated writing, so yeah, Iām gonna protect myself. This means that I wonāt be writing any fanfic in February.
Let repeat it for those only skimming this.
IāM NOT WRITING ANY FANFIC IN FEBRUARY. NONE! NONE AT ALL!
Now, some might argue that I havenāt written anything in January either, and no. Iāve written a lot less than I usually do, but 1) my life is a mess and I have a depression to entertain, and 2) people keep being mean to me and my fic and that makes me sad. Pls stop.Ā
So what does all this meanā¦well here is a quick FAQ to what I think is most important.
āBut does that mean you wonāt update Seasons seasonally anymore?ā
Yes, it does. But to be fair Iāve been struggling so much with that fic lately that I wouldnāt have finished the winter chapter in time either. Like itās twice the lenght of the other chapters at least and all I got from the seasonally update plans was complaints. So now, Iāll update when I feel like it. And right now I donāt.
āAre you giving up fic writing?ā
No. I wouldnāt. I donāt like unfinished projects and I love the IBFY universe far too much to ever abandon it. I know some people dislike my choice to continue the story, but i like where weāre going and I want to see it finished. I honestly just need a break because people have made me fell more and more out of place in my own fandom. Both in regards to random criticism (Like, peeps, I do look in the I Bloomed for You tag on twitter. How could You even think I wouldnāt????) and to the way people are constantly trying to geographically divide the fandom, making some part ābetterā because BTS has gained a lot of attention in their area of the world. No, being a European fan still suck. Even more if youāre from insignificant little places like I am. No one ever want to play here. Ever. (Yes Iām salty because yet another group I like comes no where near Scandinavia on their āEuropean and UK tourā)
āWhat about Affinity?ā
Affinity gets a chapter as soon as Iām done with February. I canāt give an exact date, but right now itās the only fun fic i have to write. Also I miss the nonsense, I really do. And weāre just at the good part so I canāt wait to hear what people think of the next developmentā¦. also Iām so sorry I never got to reply to you. I will get to it soon. Like pls kick me if i donāt because youāre all much nicer in the comment section of Affinity than people are on twitter about seasons or in Seasonsā comment section.
āYou should just ignore the hate and focus on the loveā
I really wish it was that easy. But it isnāt. Having your hard work being called a āfuck upā, having people repeatedly bashing me for the way I portray Taehyung, having some random person telling people not to read my fic because Iām a āTae haterā, being told Iām overrated, seeing whole treads of people hating on my hard work, having the lengthen of my fic criticized, having the spelling mistakes pointed out over and over again even after repeatedly telling that Iām dyslexic and that i struggle with it and being asked āwhen are you updating againā as soon as Iāve posted a chapter gets tiring. Like imagine working you ass off and then you get all that shitā¦..
Like would all of you seriously just continue?
I do love all the praise i get. I read every word and keep them wrapped up in a special part of my heart and if it hadnāt been for all the lovely people who read my fic and comment I wouldnāt be here today, I would have left the fandom for good ages ago. But I just feel we need to have this discussion. If I donāt tell people that negative words hurts me, then itās goes ignored. Like weāre at a point where people throw shit at everyone, even young girls and itās honestly only the age of a person that will make people get involved and stop the hate being thrown around. Like for fuckās sake, Nan was barely 16 when we started this. A lot of people threw shit at a sixteen year old because she wrote a fic together with her older sister. Is that okay? I donāt think a lot of you would think it is. But if youāre āoldā like me then itās free game. I can take it after all.
Well, news flash; I canāt.
People treat fan artist like shit. And to be honest fanfic writer are the bottom of the food chain, and trust me we get to feel it. Like jesus fucking christ do we get to feel it. I get no money for any of this, none. I canāt even make a Ko-Fi account because I feel like it would be begging for money and since I donāt make graphics or gifs or art, No one will pay for what i do. They demand more and demand I do it quick, but give a fanfic writer money? HA! And now, before someone get their panties in a twist; Iām not trying to lessen other fan creators work. Iām just asking that you value the hours I spent writing as much as you value the hours another fan creator draws/edit/gif/whatever. Itās that simple. Give me the same credit you give them and Iāll happily continue to ruin your life with angsty fanfics for free.
Iām writing all this because itās a problem people donāt wanna talk about. And to be honest, If people were nice to me I wouldnāt have to take a break. And Im not even that hate. Hell, some people get way more shit than I do.
āBut, dude, a published author gets way more hate. Why you making a big deal out of this?ā
I love writing for others. I wanna be an author. I love writing. And yes, I will get more hate when I get published, but 1) youād have (hopefully) payed for the book and that entitles you to complain and 2) I wonāt be nearly as exposed to it as I am now. Like, again, I canāt go on twitter because I might see shit. Itās annoying.
āBut, dude, People are entitled to their opinionsā
Yes, yes they are. All Im asking is that if they canāt come with something useful to say like pointing out confusing parts or something like it they keep quiet or donāt mention the fic. Itās not hard - I do it all the time.
The latest Hype train, I didnāt mention it by name most of my critique was in the tag because this poor person didnāt need to know I donāt like texts fics. Iāve commented on how I dislike like 90% of the BTS fics with most kudos several times, but never hated on a particular fic. Hell, someone plagiarized me (I donāt care what she says or how much sheāll threaten to report me, up till chapter 8 it was half my fic rewritten and mixed with other big fics. Like Nan found a line that was almost complete from another fic. Like you donāt change explanation three times unless youāre doing something shady.) and I didnāt once mention her name, her fic or anything. Youāll have to go look for it, and look hard to even find it. And if I can do that to someone who pissed me off to the extend she did, well so can others.
NO AUTHOR NEEDS TO READ YOU THROWING UP ALL OVER THEIR HARD WORK. IF YOU WANNA COMPLAIN DO SO WITH YOUR IN PERSONAL CHATS, IN A WAY THAT DOESNāT MENTION THE AUTHOR OR THE WORK YOUāRE REFERRING TO OR FUCKING MAN UP AND BE FUCKING CONSTRUCTIVE, YOU DIPSHIT.
NO ONE NEEDS BASELESS HATE NO MATTE HOW MUCH THEY PISSED ON YOU AND YOUR PERSONAL TASTE OR YOUR BIAS!
FUCKING GROW SOME BALLS PEOPLE!
āArenāt you being a bit harsh?ā
Compared to how some people speak, no.
Like, I write my stories for my own enjoyment (yes, back at the no getting paid part) and you have the pleasure of reading it. Iām not writing for you, Iām writing to you.
minor detail i know, but pretty important so lets repeat that because like, I think this is were most of the Taeās characterization issues really stems from.
I write to you, not for you.
Now, think Iām a bitch if you want. But Iām just really really tired.
Okay, that got long. Anyway, Iāll try to get more back into tumblr again, so I wonāt be gone and like usual the inbox is open so feel free to talk to me. As soon as my break is done Iāll begin to post teasers and such. I do love all my readers, i love my followers and I love bangtan. I do.
oh, what is that, a last question?
āWhat you gonna if youāre not writing?ā
I am gonna writeā¦. Like dudes, I have a book to rewrite so you can all pay me for reading my work and finally hate on me without me being able to say anything. So yes, Iāll be busy. This will also be nice for all the people that wants to read my original writingā¦. Like youāve been waiting for ages for me to edit it and now Iām rewriting itā¦..Well, sorry but you all made me a better author and I have to change everything.
Anyway, enough of this. I wanna go back to being my happy self again.
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