@jeons2k - Tumblr Blog

Jan 30

‎୨ৎ hard to love ׄ ׅ ׄ part 2

ઇ synopsis. ten years after leaving his quiet hometown, jungkook finally returns home for the holidays at his mother’s request. he’s built himself into a man feared for his fists and known for his trouble, but the only person he’s ever cared about is the one he left behind: you, his childhood sweetheart. as old memories resurface and buried feelings ignite, jungkook finds himself fighting the one battle he never learned to win: earning back the trust and heart of the girl he’s loved since they were kids.

ઇ pairing/genre. biker!jungkook x fem!oc, grumpy x sunshine, “he hates everyone but her + she loves everyone but him”, childhood frienemies to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, eventual smut

ઇ warnings/tags. mentions of injury, tiny bit of angst ( js a lil fight), 2 days time skip, yearner jk!! (wohooo), fluff!!, oc’s “friends” suck lwk (oc’s bestie got her back tho dw!!), we js love mandy, jk needa set some boundaries frfr, mentions of past hookups/masturbations, oblivious/naive oc, jealous jk, equally jealous oc, insecure oc :(, major misunderstanding, alcohol consumption, uncon touching (not jk), jk punches smo, the talk!!!!, silly tears, silly fight, fluffy fluff

ઇ wc. around 18k ,, part 1 (18k) ,, part 3

roxe’s notes. it’s finally here guys u hv no idea how loud i was cheering (and stressing tf out) while posting this 🙏🏻 i swear this story took way longer than i planned, and yeah… it’s officially not a twoshot anymore. surprise! if you guessed a pt 3, u’re absolutely right!! i still hv sm planned for these two, i’m nowhere near done with them yet lols, stay with me a little longer, okay?

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ 𓎢𓎠୨ৎ𓎠𓎡

jungkook could barely see his own hands in front of his face. the wind screamed, and the snow was so deep it sucked at his boots with every step.

where are you? where the fuck are you? your name was the only thing in his head. he shouted it out loud, but the wind ripped the sound away. he felt like he was totally losing his mind. his heart was beating so damn fast and hard it was painful. he was sweating inside his jacket despite the cold that seared his skin.

if something happened to you..fuck– he couldn’t finish the thought. it felt like a black hole opening up in his chest. just let me find you. just be okay. fuck, be okay.

but then he heard it. a sharp, high bark.

he stopped, straining to listen. had he imagined it? but it came again, clearer this time. rocky.

“here! here, boy!” he yelled, pushing toward the sound.

he saw a dark, scruffy shape moving in the blur. it was rocky. the little dog barked once at him, then turned and darted a few feet away, stopping to look back.

jungkook understood right away. you were with the dog. the thought alone was enough to force his legs to move, following the little brown blur before he lost sight of it in the swirling snow.

a few yards ahead, he heard a new sound. a soft, pained whimper.

his blood went cold. that’s you.

he roared, your name tearing from his throat as he lunged forward, crashing through snow and brush toward the sound.

and there you were. a small, huddled shape against the trunk, dusted with snow as rocky was pressed against your side.

he skidded to a stop, breathing so hard it hurt. relief hit him so hard it made him feel dizzy, you were here, fuck, you were alive. but it was instantly swamped by a new, sharper fear when he saw how still you were.

you looked up, your movements slow. your eyes were wide in the dark. “…jungkook?” you whispered, your voice faint and thin.

he was on his knees in the snow in front of you in an instant, his big hands hovering over you, afraid to touch. where are you hurt? what’s broken? “are you hurt? where are you hurt?” the words came out rough filled with worry, very unfamiliar even to his own ears.

you gave him a weak, wobbly smile. “i’m okay, really. i just… i tripped over a branch i couldn’t see. i was running after rocky and my foot twisted.” you even let out a soft, breathless laugh. “so clumsy of me.”

he didn’t laugh, he didn’t smile. his eyes instantly dropped to your ankle, then snapped back to your face. your cheeks were flushed from the cold, your lips were pale, trembling, but that damn gentle smile was still trying to stay on your face. you’re hurt and cold for fucks sake and you’re still smiling. how are you even real?

“can you stand?” he asked, his voice tight.

you blinked, then braced a hand on the tree to try and push yourself up. you gasped, a sharp little sound of pain, and fell back immediately. “oh– um, not really,” you admitted, sounding embarrassed. you tried to laugh it off. “but i’m okay! really, it’s fine.”

he completely dismissed your words. fuck, you’re not fine. you can’t even walk. “hold the dog,” he ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument.

confused, you gathered rocky tighter against your chest. “what are you–ah!”

before you could finish, he slid one arm under your knees and the other behind your back. in one easy motion, he stood up, lifting you off the frozen ground as if you were weightless. you let out a soft squeak of surprise, one arm clutching rocky, the other hand flying to fist the thick material of his jacket over his chest for balance.

he pulled you in close, tucking you firmly against his chest, trying to shield you from the cold wind. you were so light in his arms. you were freezing, he could feel you trembling against him. he didn’t say a word. he just turned, adjusted his grip to hold you more securely, and started walking through the deep snow, carrying you out of the dark woods.

jungkook broke through the treeline and the faint lights of the village hall came into view. a small crowd had gathered outside, wrapped in coats and scarves despite the storm. one of the men saw you first.

“they’re back! he found her!”

the first person to reach you was your mother. her face was streaked with tears, her eyes wide with panic.

“my baby! are you okay? are you hurt?” she sobbed, reaching for you but stopping, afraid to touch.

“i’m okay, mama, i’m fine, please don’t cry,” you said quickly, your voice gentle, trying to soothe her.

you then turned your head toward jungkook, your voice dropping to an embarrassed whisper only he could hear. “you can put me down now, please. this is so embarrassing.”

he didn’t even look at you. “you twisted your ankle. you’re not walking on it,” he said flatly, his grip not loosening in the slightest.

your mother heard him. “what? her ankle! oh, no, great god, did you break it?”

“no, no, mama! it’s just a little twist, really, it’s nothing,” you insisted, feeling awful for causing such a fuss.

mrs. jeon appeared at her son’s side, her own face etched with worry. “jungkook, son, get her inside. it’s freezing. we need to look at that ankle and get her warm.”

you’d almost forgotten rocky was still squished between your chest and jungkook’s. the little dog gave a sharp, impatient bark and started wiggling his legs.

you giggled softly despite the situation. “okay, okay, lil’ boy.” you loosened your arms just enough, and rocky leapt down into the snow, immediately rolling onto his back.

jungkook glanced down at your face when you laughed, his expression remained unreadable, before looking back at the path.

“to our house, jungkook,” your mother instructed, wiping her eyes. “i’ll go get the first aid kit. mandy, my dear, you bring anastasia in–!”

jungkook just gave a short nod and started walking, straight down the lane toward your house. he moved with steady pace, ignoring everyone else.

that’s when you became fully aware of the eyes. so many eyes. all the villagers who had been searching or waiting were now staring.

a hot, mortifying flush spread from your neck to your cheeks. you were being carried through the village like a lost child. by jungkook. in front of everyone. jayden and cynthia were probably watching too. you wanted to sink into the snow and disappear. you tried to make yourself smaller in his arms, turning your face in toward his jacket to hide. this was a hundred times worse than the twisted ankle. the pain was nothing compared to the sheer, soul-crushing embarrassment of this moment.

. . .

mandy helped you get settled in your bed, propping your wrapped ankle on a pillow. mrs. anastasia, the village’s retired nurse, had checked it thoroughly.

“it’s just a mild ligament sprain,” she said to your mother. “nothing’s broken. it will be sore and a bit swollen for a few days. just keep it elevated, put ice on it tonight, and use this cream in the morning to keep the bruising down. she should be walking on it carefully in two or three days.”

your mother looked like she might faint from relief. mrs. jeon patted her back. and jungkook… well, he was still there. he’d carried you all the way to your house, set you down in your bed with a surprising gentleness, and hadn’t left. he stood off to the side, leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom, arms crossed. he hadn’t said a word since they brought you inside. he was just… there. a large, silent, and strangely watchful presence.

you felt bad, because you hadn’t even thanked him yet. despite everything, despite how much he annoyed you, he had gone out into a blizzard to find you and carried you home. you weren’t so stubborn that you couldn’t acknowledge that.

once the adults left to talk in the kitchen, mandy fluffed your covers. “girl i was so worried about you!” she said, her usual playful tone gone, replaced by real fear.

“i’m really sorry,” you said softly, your voice full of genuine regret. “i didn’t mean to scare everyone.”

mandy sat on the edge of the bed. “i was looking everywhere for you inside. and then i saw jungkook. he just… bolted out the doors. like someone had lit him on fire. he looked terrified. and i just knew it had something to do with you.”

her words made your neck grow embarrassedly warm. jungkook? terrified? for you? you remembered his face in the woods, the raw panic in his voice when he asked if you were hurt. the thought that he could feel that way because you were in trouble sent a weird, fluttering feeling through your stomach. oh god, stop it. that’s ridiculous.

mandy, seeing your blush, couldn’t resist. a teasing glint returned to her eyes. “and then when he came back carrying you… like wow. it was like something out of a movie. prince charming and the damsel in distress.”

you groaned, hiding your face in your hands. “mandy, don’t! it was so embarrassing. and he’s not a prince, not even close to being one. he’s… he’s too much of a…” you fumbled, your tongue tripping over the word. “…a jerk for that.”

mandy laughed. “okay, okay. not a prince. a knight, then. your own personal knight in a leather jacket. your knight in slightly scuffed armor.”

“mandy!” you whined, but you were laughing now too, the sound a little wobbly but real. she was trying to make you feel better, and it was working.

“alright, alright i’ll stop,” she said, grinning. “i’m going to go get you some of that chicken soup your mom was reheating. you need something warm.” she stood up and smoothed your blanket.

“thank you,” you said, your smile soft and grateful.

“anytime, sunshine,” she said, and slipped out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

not even two minutes later, you heard a soft knock on your bedroom door.

that was quick, you thought. mandy must have sprinted. but wait… mandy never knocked? she usually just barged in calling your name. “that was so fast,” you said out loud, a little laugh in your voice. “mandy, did you just–”

the door pushed open. the person who stepped inside was not mandy. it was jungkook. he was holding a steaming bowl of soup carefully in both hands, he nudged the door shut behind him with his foot. a familiar, teasing smirk touched his lips. “didn’t know i looked like your friend, hm? that’s a new one.”

you blinked, completely thrown. “what are you doing here? mandy was getting the soup.”

he walked over and carefully set the bowl on your nightstand. “your mom asked me to bring it. i, uh, stumbled into your friend on the way.” the lie came out too smoothly. in reality, he’d been hovering in the hallway, heard your mom talk about the soup, and he’d volunteered, “i’ll take it.” he’d needed an excuse to come in here, to see for himself that you were really okay. you didn’t need to know that, though.

you huffed, looking from the soup to him and back. it felt incredibly strange having him in your room. this was your own personal sacred space, you’d never had a guy in your bedroom. ever. and definitely not this guy, the one who’d been the source of so much childhood (and now, adulthood) irritation. his large presence made the room (and you) feel so much smaller.

“eat,” he said, nodding at the bowl when you just stared at it. when you didn’t move, the smirk returned. “what, want me to feed you? bet you do, hm?”

“no!” you said quickly, your cheeks flushing warm. you scrambled to grab the bowl.

“careful. it’s hot,” he muttered, his hands coming up to help you steady the tray on your lap. his fingers brushed yours, and you flinched back slightly. he just smirked at your reaction.

you blew on a spoonful and took a small sip. it was good, warm and savory. jungkook had sat down on the edge of your bed, near your feet. the quiet felt heavy, intimate in a way that made your skin prickle. the only sounds were the wind outside and your spoon clinking against the bowl.

after a few bites, you cleared your throat. “why are you still here?”

he shrugged. “watching you. make sure you don’t spill it.”

“i’m not a child,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“could’ve fooled me,” he shot back, his tone playful but with an underlying edge. “running off into a blizzard and all.”

you ate another spoonful, then set the spoon down. you just remembered that you hadn’t thanked him yet. you took a quiet breath. “uh, thank you,” you mumbled, not looking at him.

“huh?”

you glanced up. “i said thank you. for… you know. saving me.”

his playful expression vanished. his face went still, then serious. his eyes darkened, as well. and for a long moment, he just looked at you, his jaw tight. then he said, low and firm, “don’t do it again.”

you frowned. “i’m not planning to. i was just trying to find rocky. how could i leave him out there? he’s so small, he’d be terrified.”

“you could’ve told someone,” jungkook said, his voice dropping. “a man. you could’ve told me.”

your frown deepened, confused and a little hurt. “you? we’re not… we’re not even friends like that. and you seemed busy anyway.” you remembered the sight of him and cynthia after the race, her hand on his arm, their easy proximity. of course he’d been busy.

on the other hand, the memory of cynthia or the stupid race hadn’t even crossed jungkook’s mind. all he could think about was you, alone in the dark, and how worried sick he was. “you’re just being stubborn,” he said, frustration leaking into his tone. “just because i like to annoy you doesn’t mean you can’t ask me for help when you actually need it. you’re not a child.”

it felt like a scolding. you’d spent your whole life being the good girl, the sweet one, the helper. you were praised for your kindness, never reprimanded. which is why being talked to like this, especially by him, made a hot, tight lump form in your throat. your eyes began to sting.

“it all happened so fast,” you said, your voice growing thick. “i didn’t have time to think! i just had to find him quickly. i couldn’t let him out there to freeze. it’s not my fault!”

jungkook, too wrapped up in his own churning frustration, the terror of not finding you, the way your stupid, selfless kindness was going to get you hurt, missed the tears welling in your eyes. “you had plenty of time. you were with that jayden guy right?” the name was like poison on his tongue. “if you couldn’t ask me, why not ask him instead?” he hated the thought, but the idea of that prick in the storm was still better than you being out there.

“i wasn’t with him at that time! how could i ask him?” you protested. then it hit you. jayden’s invitation, the hang out you planned after the festival. you’d completely forgotten about it. “oh…” you murmured, more to yourself, feeling guilty. “oh my goodness, i should probably apologize to him for not being able to meet up…”

even though you were just talking to yourself, jungkook heard. he groaned, dragging a hand down his face. when he looked at you, his eyes were hard. “you should stay away from that guy.”

“huh? why?” you were genuinely bewildered. jayden was a kind man, and he was little matthew’s brother. “why would i do that?”

“you need to start being more careful about who you hang out with,” he said, his voice taking on a harder, more scolding edge. “stop trusting everyone so damn easily.”

the lump in your throat swelled. the frustration, the fear from the storm, the whiplash of his moods. it all boiled over. why was he yelling at you like that? he was so confusing, he was confusing you. your vision blurred slightly.

“stop it!” you said, your voice cracking. a single tear escaped and rolled down your cheek. you swiped at it angrily. “stop scolding me like i’m a child! just… just leave me alone!”

jungkook only groaned, his frustration boiling over. "i wouldn't be saying any of this if you weren't acting like one!" he stopped short when he finally saw the tears welling in your eyes. fuck. he’d made you fucking cry. a sharp pang of guilt cut through his anger.

“stop crying,” he said, his voice dropping, trying for calm but coming out strained.

you huffed, wiping angrily at your cheeks. “just leave. i don't want to see you.” you sniffed, completely hurt and confused. how could he scold you like that and then pretend to care?

“no,” he said, firm. “you need to finish your food. stop being stubborn.” he hated seeing you cry. it made his chest feel tight. but you needed to hear this, not everyone in this village was an angel like you. not even close.

“i don't want to,” you said, looking away and crossing your arms. you were pouting, and a part of you knew you were only proving his point, but you were too upset to care. for a moment, just a tiny one, you’d thought maybe he wasn’t so bad. but you were completely wrong.

jungkook cursed under his breath. he leaned over and carefully moved the soup tray from your lap back to the nightstand. as he did, his eyes caught on a painting leaning against the wall. it was a landscape of the view from your window, but it wasn’t just a copy. the way you'd captured the light on the winter trees was... stunning.

you side-eyed him, curious about the sudden silence.

"did you paint this?" he asked, his voice different. softer.

you sniffled, considering ignoring him. but that would be childish, so you glanced at the painting. “yeah,” you hummed, your voice small.

jungkook’s eyes widened slightly. he knew you liked to draw as a kid, but this... damn, this was something else. “this is insanely good,” he said, almost to himself. he looked around, really looking for the first time. there were more canvases, some on the floor, a few hanging. a detailed portrait of your mother, a vibrant study of wildflowers. they were all beautiful as hell. seriously beautiful. fuck, these should be in a fucking gallery.

you blushed at the praise, muttering a quiet, “thank you.”

jungkook was so lost in thought. “tae would lose his mind over these,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.

you frowned. “tae?”

jungkook turned back to you, his expression intense. “listen. have you ever thought about doing this for real? like, as a career?” he gestured at your paintings.

you blinked, genuinely taken aback. you looked at your work. “..no?” you said, but it came out more like a question. it was a hesitant and unsure sound.

jungkook looked at the paintings again. they were miles better than the pretentious stuff his friend taehyung was always trying to get him to appreciate at his gallery. “you could make a fortune,” he said, the idea making more sense as he spoke. “my friend taehyung owns a gallery. he sometimes helps new artists get shows– i could talk to him. he’d want these.”

you stared at him. it wasn’t the offer itself that stunned you; it was the serious, certain way jungkook said it. make a fortune? out of these? you looked at your paintings. you knew for a fact that they weren’t bad. but to put them on display for others to see? to sell them? they were just... your quiet little hobby. something you did to relax. they weren’t even that good.

you shook your head. “they’re not that good. i wouldn’t want to waste your friend’s time. they’re just... doodles.”

jungkook looked at you like you’d just told him someone put spray on his bike. his brows shot up. “i don't know shit about art,” he said flatly. “but i know when something’s good. and this,” he pointed at the landscape, his finger almost touching the canvas, “this is sick. this is a real artist’s work.”

you were speechless. no one had ever praised your work like that, especially not him. the guy who usually only had teasing or scowls for you. “i... i don't know,” you whispered. the idea was just...too big, too scary. painting was a dream you’d tucked away a long time ago, something unrealistic and far away from your quiet life. you had no degree, no real experience. and even if you said yes... it would mean going to the city, dealing with strangers, with jungkook’s friend... and why was he even offering this? it didn’t make any sense. why were you even considering it the first place?

the conflict was clear on your face. jungkook moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bed again. “i’m being serious, little bear. you just have to say yes and i’ll handle the rest."

your heart was pounding. why was he even doing this? jungkook, of all people? he was confusing you! wasn’t he just yelling at you? was this some unfunny prank? like when he’d ruin your drawings as a kid, only to laugh at your tears? “why are you doing this?” you asked, your voice trembling. “we’re not even friends. are you... are you trying to play a trick on me?”

it felt like a slap. the doubt in your voice, the complete lack of trust, it hit him harder than any punch. you trusted everyone but him. the thought alone left a bitter taste in his throat. he’d seen how easily you smiled at people who talked behind your back, and yet you couldn’t believe a single sincere thing from him. it hurt. it hurt in a deep, angry way that shocked him. but why does it matter this much to him? and then it clicked, hard and undeniable. fuck. because he like you, didn’t he? he really, really like you.

he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “i’m not joking and i’m definitely not playing a prank. i’m being dead serious right now."

but you were still doubtful. “but why would you even want to help me? why would you do that?”

“why wouldn’t i?!" he snapped, frustration flaring again.

“because it’s you!” you fired back, your own frustration rising. “you’re jungkook! the jungkook i know always makes fun of me! this doesn’t make any sense! why would you ever–”

“because i like you, okay?!” the words burst out of him, loud and raw in the quiet room.

you stopped dead, staring at him.

he barreled on. “i’m doing this because i fucking like you! can’t you get that?” saying it out loud was strange, terrifying, and yet it felt more real than anything else he’d ever said all night. yeah. he does. he really fucking does.

“...what?” your voice was a whisper. jungkook... liked you? you were so startled you felt dizzy. it had to be a joke. “that’s not funny,” you said, your voice eerily calm, belying the storm inside of you.

jungkook froze. “funny? what do you mean?” he’d braced for rejection, for a gentle let-down. not this.

“it’s not funny to lie about your feelings just for a joke!” you said, your calm cracking, voice rising. “it’s not funny at all! i know you’re just messing with me!”

his expression shifted from confusion to something like desperation. “i’m not being funny! i’m not joking, and i’m sure as hell not playing a sick prank on you! i like you! i liked you when we were kids, and i like you even more now! as a woman!” the confession hung between you, heavy and undeniable.

your heart was hammering so hard you thought it might break your ribs. this couldn’t be real. he was being cruel. “it’s stupid to think i’d believe you!” you cried, your emotions a tangled, hurt mess. “you’ve liked annoying me since we were kids! you liked playing pranks on me! and now you suddenly like me? don’t lie about this, jungkook! or... or is this what you tell all the girls? is this what you told cynthia?” you didn’t even know why you said her name. it just fell out, fueled by a confusing pang of hurt you refused to name.

“cynthia?” jungkook looked genuinely baffled, then angry. “this has nothing to do with her, or anyone else in this goddamn village! yeah, i annoyed you! to get your attention! i would never hurt you on purpose, and you know that so well! look at me, y/n! i’m being for real!”

your breath came in shaky gasps. “no,” you muttered.

“what?”

“no,” you said again, stronger, shaking your head. “no, no, no. you’re lying. i can’t... i can’t trust you!” you didn’t even know why you were so agitated, so hurt. for a split second, hearing his confession had made something in you leap with a wild, almost unreal hope. but then reality crashed back. this was jungkook. and the thought that he might be lying, that this might be his worst trick yet, felt like a physical pain. did you... like him? the question alone terrified you, so you buried it under anger and disbelief.

jungkook just stood there, watching the distress on your face. so you really didn’t trust me at all. he’d expected a kind rejection. he’d even, in his most selfish moments, hoped for a yes. but this? this complete disbelief, this assumption that his feelings were a weapon to hurt you... it was worse. it carved something out of him.

no. no he wouldn’t let it end like this. not like this. if you didn’t trust him now, he’d make you. he’d prove it. he’d show you how fucking sincere he was. he’d do anything, anything, to be the one person you could finally rely on.

he held your gaze for one long, heavy moment, his own eyes full of a frustrated, determined intensity. then, without another word, he turned and left the room, closing the door softly behind him. leaving you alone with the echo of his confession and a heart more confused than ever.

. . .

it had been two days since the “incident.” and by incident, you mostly meant the storm, and you getting lost in it, and jungkook rescuing you. but if you were being brutally honest with yourself in the quiet of your own thoughts, the real incident was jungkook confessing that he liked you. which you were 99% sure was just a terrible, mean-spirited joke.

your ankle was doing way better now. you could walk on it, though it hurt if you put too much weight on it or tried to stand on your tiptoes. over the last two days, your little house had felt like a receiving line. so many people from the village had come by to check on you, bringing little gifts; jars of honey, knitted socks, pots of hearty stew. they’d pat your hand and say, “we were so worried, dear! get well soon!” it warmed your heart so much. people were so kind.

jayden had visited too. you’d apologized again for missing your plans. he’d smiled gently and said, “it’s fine. we’ll catch up when you’re better.” even the girls; jessica, sophia, and cynthia as well, had stopped by with a box of your favorite lemon tarts. “feel better,” cynthia had said with a tight smile. you’d thought it was incredibly sweet of them all.

mrs. jeon had practically moved in, helping your mother with cooking and cleaning since you were supposed to stay off your feet. you felt so grateful and a little guilty, desperate to get better so you could pay back all their kindness.

you’d thought, maybe hoped, you wouldn’t see much of jungkook after that night. but you were so wrong.

he’d been there almost constantly. helping your mom carry firewood, fixing a wobbly step on the porch, sitting in your living room talking with the mothers. he acted like nothing had happened. he still teased you, called you that stupid nickname, mocked you for being a slow eater. but what truly threw you off guard was the new habit he’d picked up, that he’d weave into the most ordinary moments.

he’d see you trying to sneak out of bed. “get back in there, little bear. i like you too much to let you hurt yourself.”

he’d walk past you in the hall. “out of my way, short stuff– just kidding, i like you.”

it was constant. non stop. and it did things to you. it made you blush furiously, made your heart do a stupid little back flip. sometimes, a tiny, traitorous smile would touch your lips before you could stop it. but then you’d shake your head hard. no. he was just committed to the bit. jungkook was a competitive guy; if a prank wasn’t working, he’d double down. that’s all this was.

a quiet, hidden part of you that you refused to examine, really wanted to believe him. you didn’t know why, and you didn’t want to know why. the other part of you was scared, confused, and absolutely convinced it was a childish trick.

you’d never really dated anyone properly. you’d sure had innocent crushes. you’d gone out with a boy from the next village over when you were eighteen, but it fizzled out after two months when his family moved. you knew everyone here, had known them forever. new faces were rare, like jayden’s family when they moved in a few years ago, but you’d never felt that way about jayden. so jungkook’s casual “i like you”s were a first. the first time a man had ever said those words to you in that way. and the fact that the man was jungkook made the whole thing feel absurd, unreal. and what made even less sense was how much it affected you.

currently, you were at the market with mandy, two days before christmas, hunting for last-minute decorations.

“these glass baubles are so pretty,” mandy said, holding up a box of delicate, silver-streaked ornaments.

“they are,” you agreed, smiling. you picked up two packages. “we should get some for the big tree in the square, too.”

mandy paid for them and took the bag. you were already carrying two other bags full of ribbons and candles.

as you moved toward the next stall, mandy gently took the bags from your hands. “you shouldn’t be carrying things, princess.”

you whined playfully. “mandy, it’s been two days! it’s fine! give them back, i can hold them!”

she held the bags out of your reach. “nuh-uh. mrs. anastasia’s orders. well, my orders. i’m not letting you.”

you laughed. “you’re treating me like i’m a pregnant lady, not someone with a mildly sore ankle.”

“same thing! you need to be pampered,” she insisted, grinning.

just then, the low growl of a motorcycle engine cut through the market chatter. you both turned.

jungkook pulled up to the curb, killing the engine. “ladies,” he said, his voice a familiar rumble. “need any help?”

mandy’s eyes lit up with mischief. “actually, yes! it would be great if you could take these bags.” she shoved your shopping bags into his hands before you could protest. then she added, her voice bright, “you know what would be even greater? if you gave our patient here a ride home, yeah?”

your eyes went wide almost instantly. “what?! mandy, no! i definitely do not need a ride! and we still have more stuff to get!”

mandy completely ignored you. she put her hands on your shoulders and pushed you toward jungkook and his bike. “nope, we’re done. anastasia’s orders, remember? rest well, sweetheart!” she leaned close to jungkook, whispering something you couldn’t hear, then stepped back. she waved at you, her smile triumphant, and mouthed, a ‘thank me later!’

you just stood there, blinking, trying to process how your best friend set you up like that in broad daylight.

you heard jungkook chuckle. “i like your friend,” he said, securing the bags to his bike.

you finally looked at him, flustered.

he met your gaze, that infuriating, knowing smirk on his lips. he leaned in a little. “of course, i like you more.” his voice was low, just for you.

a furious, immediate heat rushed from your chest to your face. what was wrong with you?! you wanted to be angry, to call him out on his game. but all you could do was stand there, a blush staining your cheeks, more confused than ever.

. . .

you weren’t entirely sure how he managed it, but somehow he got you seated behind him on his rumbling motorcycle. you clung to the worn leather of his jacket, your arms wrapped around his waist as he navigated the familiar lanes back to your house. your bags of decorations were wedged securely between his body and the bike’s gas tank, held in place by one of his arms.

the ride was short, but it felt longer with the feel of him against you and the wind in your hair. he pulled into your driveway and turned off the engine, the sudden quiet feeling loud.

before you could even swing your leg over, he was off the bike and turning to help you. his hands were at your waist, steadying you as you slid down, his touch careful, making sure you landed on your good foot.

“i’m fine, really. you don’t have to do that,” you mumbled, flustered by the unnecessary assistance.

as soon as you were stable, you reached for your shopping bags, but jungkook was faster. in one smooth motion, he scooped them up, holding them out of your reach.

“hey!” you whined, making a grab for them. “give them back. i can carry them!”

he held the bags higher, a smirk playing on his lips as he looked down at you. “and tire out the girl i like? i don’t think so.”

there it was again. the words landed with the same impact they always did, turning your insides to warm jelly and sending a flush straight to your cheeks. you hated that it still worked. it should have lost its power by now, but if anything, it was only getting worse.

you huffed, biting back the whine on your tongue because you knew anything you said would just encourage him even more. instead, you did the only thing you could think of; you stomped your uninjured foot childishly, turned on your heel, and marched as best you could toward your front door, leaving him to follow.

you could practically feel the wide smirk on his face behind you, delighted by your flustered reaction, and it only made you walk faster, your heart doing a ridiculous, giddy dance against your ribs that you refused to acknowledge.

once you got inside, the quiet house immediately told you your mom wasn’t home. you remembered her saying she’d be at mrs. jeon’s with the other village women for a big knitting circle. maybe this was a good chance to bake something. you could bring them some fresh biscuits as a thank you for all their help over the last two days. the idea itself made you smile.

you headed for the kitchen. out of the corner of your eye, you saw jungkook step inside too. he set the shopping bags down neatly by the little potted fern in the hall.

“your mom’s at mine,” he said, leaning against the kitchen doorframe, arms crossed. “in case you were wondering.”

you glanced at him as you dried your hands on a towel. “i know. she told me.”

he made a face. “couldn’t stand another minute over there. all the aunties trying to shove their daughters at me, asking when i’m going to ‘court’ someone.” he said the word ‘court’ like it was a disease. his eyes followed your hands as you started adding flour into a mixing bowl.

“they probably don’t realize what an annoying son-in-law you’d be,” you said lightly, focusing on the recipe.

he snorted. “yeah. and they definitely don’t know i’ve already got my eyes on one little short stuff with a permanent angry pout.”

just as he said it, you were cracking an egg. the words made your hand jump, and the eggshell crumbled into the bowl along with the yolk.

“oh!” you yelped, staring at the mess.

jungkook pushed off the doorframe and came over. “you’re a clumsy one too, i forgot to add,” he said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“you’re distracting me,” you said, pursing your lips as you tried to fish out the shell pieces with a spoon.

he took the spoon from your hand gently. “here.” he carefully picked out the larger bits. “i’m flattered, by the way. that i’m so… radiant i can ruin your baking.”

his tone was playful, flirty, and you didn’t know how to respond, so you just turned to the sink to wash your hands, trying to hide how fast your heart was beating. your cheeks felt hot. how could he say things like that so easily? and why did it work every single time? by blushing like this, you were giving him exactly what he wanted, and you hated it.

just as you turned back to the counter, jungkook’s phone rang. he cursed under his breath and fished it out of his jacket pocket. he looked at the screen, a slight scowl forming, before answering.

you were secretly relieved his focus was off you. you cracked a new egg into the bowl and started mixing, trying to ignore him.

“wassup, mad,” jungkook said into the phone. his voice was completely different. it was deeper, flatter, with none of the playful lightness he used with you. he didn’t say much. just low hums of acknowledgment, the occasional “yeah,” or a short, gruff reply that wasn’t very polite. you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, it was rude, but he was standing right there, not making any effort to lower his voice, and you couldn’t exactly block it out.

you concluded the caller, “mad,” was a woman. you could hear the faint, high tone of a feminine voice through the phone. you’d never heard a girl’s name like “mad” before. maybe it was short for madison? maddie? or maybe madeline? you didn’t know, and you told yourself you didn’t want to know.

but it bothered you. jungkook had a pet name for this girl. they also sounded so close and comfortable. he was talking about things you had no clue about, something about a gym, equipments, double keys. did they share a house? was she more than a friend? was she his… girlfriend back in the city? but then why would he keep saying he liked you? was the whole thing just a joke after all? the thought shouldn’t have hurt, but it did, a sharp little pinch under your ribs. it’s none of your business, you scolded yourself. it’s none of your business who she is or what she is to him.

“yeah. bye,” jungkook said abruptly, ending the call.

you quickly slid the tray of biscuits into the preheated oven and closed the door. when you glanced over, jungkook was still on his phone, his thumbs moving quickly over the screen, probably typing out a message to someone. the focused, almost serious look on his face was totally opposite to the teasing man who’d been flirting with you moments before, and it left you feeling more confused than ever.

without looking up, jungkook asked a sudden, random question. “do you have an instagram?”

you stopped wiping the counter, blinking at him. was he asking for your... instagram? why would he want that? your mind went blank for a second.

he must have noticed your silence, because he finally lifted his head from his phone to look at you. a small, knowing smirk played on his lips. “i followed a couple of the girls from here. scrolled through their followers. didn’t see your username pop up. unless you’re undercover or something.” his tone was light, teasing.

you blinked again. well, you actually didn’t have instagram. in fact, you didn’t have any social media, really. you’d just never been interested, it wasn’t really your thing. sometimes though, your mom would show you a couple of silly videos, but that would be it. but wait– he already has other girls’ instagrams? when did he even get those? did he get cynthia’s as well ? mandy would have told you if he’d followed her, but she hardly ever used social media anyway. but why does that even matter to you?!

“i… i don’t have one,” you said finally.

jungkook raised an eyebrow, his smirk growing. “wait. don’t tell me you don’t even have a phone?”

you looked at him, wide-eyed. “what? of course i have a phone! i just… i don’t use it that much. but i do have one!”

your flustered, defensive reply only amused him more. he chuckled. “chill, kitty. i was just kidding.” he gave you a quick wink that made your stomach do a stupid flip.

“why were you even looking for my profile?” you asked, trying to sound casual and totally failing.

he shrugged, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “why wouldn’t i?” that simple answer left you momentarily speechless. he continued, his voice dropping into a playful tone. “thought it’d be a good way to annoy you when i’m not around. send you stupid memes or something.”

you huffed, and without really thinking, you fired back, “you could just do that through regular text messages with my number. you don’t need my instagram.”

as soon as the words left your mouth, you knew it was a mistake and you wished to take back every word.

jungkook’s smirk widened into a full, wide grin. his eyes sparkled with mischief. “oh damn. is that your way of asking for my number? that’s a nice one, i’m impressed.”

you froze, your face heating up. “what? no! i wasn’t asking for your number! i was just… stating a fact!”

“yeah, yeah, whatever you say, sweetie,” he said, waving a dismissive hand, his grin never fading. “so, you wanna give me your number now? i kinda like your idea better.”

you just stared at him, baffled. why was he talking to you like this? and why did your heart feel like it was tap-dancing? “no,” you said, trying to sound firm. “i don’t want you bothering me with dumb messages. and i told you, i don’t use my phone much anyway!”

he took a step closer, leaning in slightly. “you never know. there might be a time you need me, for a ride or maybe a favor. it’s more practical, don’t you think?” and before you could protest further, he added, his voice dropping to a low, confident murmur, “you can always block me if i get too much, yeah? do we have a deal?” he held your gaze, his dark eyes steady and challenging.

you thought about it. he already had other people’s socials. if you made a big deal out of this, he’d just tease you more, call you childish. and it was just a phone number, it didn’t mean anything.

you huffed, crossing your arms. “fine.”

his smirk widened into a victorious smile. he opened his mouth to say something else, but then his eyes flickered over your shoulder. he tilted his head. “hey, little bear. your biscuits are about to burn.”

“oh!” you jumped, spinning around and rushing to the oven to pull out the perfectly golden, not-burnt biscuits. your heart was racing, and you weren’t sure if it was from the almost-burnt pastries or the man still leaning against your kitchen counter. definitely the latter.

. . .

jungkook was lying on his old childhood bed. it was the same creaky, narrow one from when he was a teenager, and now it felt way too small for his broader shoulders and even taller legs. but it was still better than the rock-hard sofa in the corner of the room.

his phone buzzed on his chest. another text from jimin. this one though had a picture attached.

jimin:

look at this catch i reeled in tn 🔥

jungkook opened the image. it was a selfie of jimin with a woman at a bar. she was pretty, with short dark hair and a bright smile. but why did she look... so familiar. oh, right. he squinted at the screen.

he typed back casually with one thumb.

jungkook:

yeah natty

hooked up w her in august ig. she gives good head

he hit sent.

jimin’s reply came in a furious rapid-fire stream just like he’d expected.

jimin:

bro.. RU FCKING W ME NOW

how TF are u inside every chick’s pants before ME

I THOUGHT I FINALLY FOUND ONE U HAVEN’T FUCKED

this is bullshit

jungkook scoffed at the screen. yeah, he remembered her more now. natty. she had a nice body with a good pair of tits, that was actually the first thing he’d noticed. she’d started coming to his gym regularly, always finding a reason to be near him, asking for “help” with her form. it didn’t take long. he remembered her on her knees for him, his cock stuffed in her mouth, in his gym’s bathroom one night after closing. they went back to his place after that and fucked. she was so eager, made a lot of noise. she tried to make it a regular thing after that, texting him, showing up to the gym with her hair done and a sport bra too small for her. but he’d lost interest, and he wasn’t surprised she’d moved on to his best friend instead.

he typed out another reply to jimin.

jungkook:

nah u can hv ur way w her tn, she mad good in bed

other than that no, lwk think she got to u js to get to me

been begging for my cock for a while

he sent the message and dropped his phone on his chest, staring at the ceiling. he turned on his side, cursing at how cramped the bed felt.

he missed the city. it felt like ages since he’d last been to a club, felt the bass in his bones. strangely he didn’t miss the random hookups as much as he thought he would. the idea of getting his dick wet in some stranger woman felt... hollow now. he knew why. it was because of you. these strange feelings for you, they’d just gotten bigger and bigger since he’d stepped foot here. he couldn’t see himself going back to his old life filled with meaningless fucks, after the holidays. the thought of it felt wrong. fuck. he’d never ever felt anything this real, this stubborn before. he knew, with a certainty that scared him to death, that he couldn’t just let you go.

ever since he’d blurred it out that he liked you. he’d been trying to prove he meant it, because you clearly didn’t believe him. fuck, he told you constantly. he hung around you more often now. but you only seemed to pull away more. that was new, too. because he’d never, ever, had a woman dismiss him when he showed interest. but then, he’d never shown this kind of interest before. it was always just sexual attraction.

don’t get him wrong, he was, in fact, sexually attracted to you, too. even though you were nothing like the women he usually hooked up with. they wore tight clothes, showed a lot of skin, which was okay too. but you just, didn’t. he’d barely seen past your knees. and yet, you were the one he’d woken up from a wet dream about, embarrassingly hard, with a sticky patch in his boxers. you were the one he’d jerked off to in the middle of the night before taking a cold shower at 3 in the morning.

so yeah, he wasn’t backing down. not until you trusted that his feelings were real. and he wanted you. for himself. fuck, just thinking about you now was getting him worked up. what the hell was wrong with him? no woman had ever had this effect on him. you were just, too pretty. too sweet. too damn innocent for this fucked up world. sometimes he’d get those dark, possessive thoughts about ruining that innocence in his damn wrecked ways. but then a stronger, more suprising feeling would wash over him. no. he wanted to protect you, to keep you safe, to have you all for himself. only his.

holy fuck. what was he even thinking? you made him crazy. you made him loose his shit without even being in the same room.

he punched his pillow and tried to force himself to sleep. if he kept thinking about you, he’d get hate again, and he’d be up for another hour taking care of it. his mom needed him up early to help set up the big christmas tree in the village square.

it took a long time, but he finally drifted into a fitful sleep, his last conscious thoughts were filled with the memory of your smile, the soft sound of your voice, and that adorable, stubborn pout you always got when he teased you. fuck, you drove him absolutely fucking nuts.

. . .

you were sitting on the soft carpet in mandy’s room, your back against the edge of her bed. the air inside was warm and smelled like vanilla candles and wool. few other girls from the village were here as well since it was the day before christmas eve, and you were all gathered for your yearly tradition. everyone would work on little projects like knitting, sewing, making jewelry.

you were carefully stitching tiny, iridescent pearls onto the hem of nancy’s new dress. mandy sat cross-legged beside you, trying out the friendship bracelets she’d made for everyone, holding one up to the light to check the colors.

jessica, perched on the vanity stool, was in the middle of her ranting. “...and then roberto actually asked me out at the festival. and he leaned in and pecked me on the lips, without even asking! can you believe it?” she shook her head, tying a red ribbon around a half-finished cardigan.

cynthia, lounging in the plush armchair and examining her manicure, let out a bored snort. “that’s it? a peck? please. guys at the clubs in the city do way more than that without a second thought.”

jessica wrinkled her nose. “yeah, well, his breath smelled like the fish stall. i almost threw up.”

sophia, who was pinning silver pendants onto a velvet dress, grimaced. “eww, no!”

“exactly!” jessica said, waving a ribbon for emphasis. “i told him straight up ‘no.’ besides, cassandra told me he never washes his hands after using the bathroom. like, ever. can you imagine?”

mandy, looping a bracelet around her wrist, scoffed. “and she dated him for two whole months. i could never.”

you listened quietly, focusing on placing another pearl perfectly in the center of the floral design. you’d always thought roberto was a nice guy. you’d seen him with jayden a few times, and he was always polite. he’d also been so gentle and attentive with cassandra when they were together. maybe he had some bad habits, but what mattered most was that he had a good heart. he could just learn to be cleaner, right?

sophia’s attention shifted from her dress to you. “hey, i heard jayden asked you out. you know, right before you got lost in the storm– sorry about that, by the way.” she gave you a sympathetic wince, gesturing vaguely toward your ankle.

cynthia let out another short, mocking laugh.

you blinked, confused at what she just said. a date? jayden hadn’t asked you on a date. “oh, no. he just asked if i wanted to hang out. to catch up, you know? it’s been a while since we grabbed a snack together. it was just a friendly thing.” you giggled softly, the idea of it being romantic feeling silly.

jessica rolled her eyes. “girl, it’s obvious to a blind person that jayden is totally into you. unless you’re just that oblivious.”

cynthia smirked, not looking up from her nails. “she is.”

mandy immediately bristled. she shot a glare at jessica and cynthia. “well, she’s a pretty girl. half the guys in this village probably adore her. it’s hard to keep track, don’t you think?” her tone was defensive, protective.

nancy, who was having her hair braided by layla, suddenly bounced in her seat, making layla yelp as she tugged on a strand. “ooh! speaking of guys! i saw how jungkook carried you through the storm!” nancy clutched her hands to her chest dramatically. “it was like something from a movie!”

layla, carefully resuming her braiding, nodded enthusiastically. “he looked... so charming, like a total hero. i almost forgot you were hurt– sorry! i’m so glad you’re all okay now!”

the mention of jungkook’s name sent an immediate, unwelcome flush of heat up your neck. oh god, no. it was so embarrassing that everyone had seen him carry you like that, it must have looked so silly. you looked down at the dress in your lap, embarrassed all over again.

cynthia’s voice cut through the romantic image. “it was so unnecessary. you could have walked just fine. you made him carry you for no reason.”

sophia nodded in agreement, though she looked a bit apologetic. “yeah, maybe a tiny bit over the top? you kind of overreacted, it was just a little twist. you really worried your mom, you know?”

you wanted to correct them so badly. you hadn’t asked him to! you actually told him to put me down multiple times but he just wouldn’t listen! and you did feel so awful for worrying your mother and the others that much. the guilt twisted in your stomach.

mandy wasn’t having it. her voice was sharp. “she was not overreacting, she clearly couldn’t put weight on it. jungkook did the right thing. and mrs. anastasia said she shouldn’t walk on it, remember? to keep it from getting worse.” she gave you a supportive smile.

nancy sighed dreamily, ignoring the tension. “he’s just so nice to help you like that. you two must be really close, right? you’re so lucky.” she had literal hearts in her eyes.

you blushed, opening your mouth to deny it, but jessica spoke first. “jungkook’s like that with everyone,” she said, a hint of pride in her voice. “at the festival, he came over and helped me with the lights without me even asking. he just took the strand right out of my hands and got the job done for me.”

sophia jumped in. “yeah it’s true! i was right there!”

cynthia smoothed her skirt, a smug smirk on her face. “he probably just saw you struggling.” she paused, letting the words hang. “you know, he actually came up to me and asked me to be his partner for the snowshoe race.” it was a blatant lie, she had been the one to approach him, but no one else knew that.

layla gasped, accidentally tugging on nancy’s braid again. “ow!”

“sorry! but oh my god!” layla squealed, forgetting the hair. “i saw you two win! you looked amazing together! he is totally into you. you’d be such a hot couple!”

cynthia’s smirk widened, and her eyes flicked over to you, watching for your reaction.

something inside your chest squeezed, tight and painful. a bitter taste rose in the back of your throat. so he was the one who asked her? of course he did. the image of them together; cynthia, beautiful, confident, city-savvy, wrapped in jungkook’s arms after winning the race, clicked into place in your mind. layla was right. they would look so good together. they matched so well after all, they made total sense in a way you and jungkook never could. she understood his world. the thought made your eyes sting.

but… he told you he liked you. a tiny, desperate voice reminded you. but you’d already decided that was just another one of his tricks, right? so why did it hurt so much to hear about cynthia? you should be happy for her if she liked him and he liked her back as well. but you couldn’t be. you just felt a hollow, aching sadness.

cynthia wasn’t done. she picked up her phone, scrolling with a casual air. “yeah, we’ve been texting too. he followed me on instagram. liked my last selfie, too.” she showed the screen briefly, where a heart from jungkook’s account was clearly visible under a glamorous photo of her.

the other girls erupted in more squeals and giggles, crowding around to see.

you looked down at the half-pearled dress in your lap, the colors blurring. you focused on threading your needle with a shaky hand, trying to shove the confusing, hurtful feelings down, down, down where they couldn’t show on your face. you tried to make your smile match the cheerful mood in the room. it felt like the hardest thing you’d ever done.

eventually, the conversation drifted to other topics as the night wore on, filled with more laughter and chatter.

but you were quieter than usual. your responses were slower, your smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes, and you found yourself staring at the same half-attached pearl for minutes at a time, your thoughts a thousand miles away, or more accurately, stuck on a certain leather jacket and a smirk that now felt like it was meant for someone else.

mandy noticed your strange behavior right away. she watched you from the corner of her eye, saw the distant look on your face, the way your shoulders had slumped just a little. she didn’t say anything in front of the others, but she made a mental note to corner you about it later, when it was just the two of you. something was definitely up with you, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

. . .

later that night, the other girls, yawning and clutching their pillows, shuffled off to mandy’s guest room. it was more spacious, and since they planned to wake up early in the morning to finish their projects, it was easier to just spend the night.

you were now alone with mandy in her bedroom. you were pulling back the covers on her queen sized bed, the same bed you’d shared during countless sleepovers since you were teenagers.

mandy stood at her dresser, brushing out her hair. “so,” she said without turning around, her voice cutting through the comfortable silence. “are you going to tell me now?”

you looked over at her, confused. you finished fluffing a pillow. “tell you what?”

she finished with her hair, pulling it over one shoulder as she turned to face you. she raised a knowing eyebrow. “what’s been bugging you all night. don’t even try to deny it.”

you frowned slightly. “nothing’s bugging me.”

“you’re a terrible liar, and i’ve known you since we were in pigtails. something’s up, so spill. what’s up?” she came and sat on the edge of the bed, facing you, her expression serious but kind.

mandy could always read you like an open book. she knew your tells; the way you’d bite your lip when nervous, the slight dip in your smile when you were faking it, she just noticed it all. you nibbled on your lower lip nervously. “it’s… it’s nothing. really. it’s just silly.”

“bullshit,” mandy said, but there was no anger in it, just firm concern. she scooted closer. “if it’s bothering you, it’s not silly to me. so tell me. did someone do something? say anything bad to you?”

you quickly shook your head. “no, no, nothing like that.” you knew you couldn’t keep anything from her, not when she was looking at you like this. you took a deep, shaky breath, looking down at your hands. “it’s… about jungkook.”

mandy’s expression shifted. “of course it is,” she sighed, though there was no real surprise in her voice. “what did he do now?” she looked ready to march out and find him, which made you a little bit anxious.

“no, he didn’t– it’s not like that,” you stammered, feeling your cheeks grow warm. this was the first time you were saying it out loud. “after… after the storm incident, when we were alone… he… he told me he liked me.” you confessed, the words feeling strange and heavy in the air. your cheeks burned even more with the admission.

mandy’s eyes went wide. “what?” then a slow, huge grin spread across her face. “oh my god– i told you! i told you he was into you!” she grabbed your shoulders, giving you a little shake.

you pouted, the familiar doubt creeping back in. “but i think he was probably just joking…”

“did he say he was joking?” mandy asked, her gaze sharp.

you shook your head, hesitating. “no… he actually told me he wasn’t joking when i said that. he’s said it a few times since... but... i just know he can’t be serious. because of what… what cynthia said earlier.” the words tumbled out, laced with a pain you couldn’t hide.

mandy’s face softened. she let go of your shoulders. “you can’t possibly listen to a word cynthia says. if jungkook had told her he wanted her, she’d be shouting it from the rooftops and bragging to everyone. has she done that?”

you shook your head slightly.

“exactly. jungkook told you and he acts totally different around you anyway, you’ve seen it. he teases you, but it’s… different. he doesn’t look at cynthia, or anyone else, the way he looks at you.”

“but he still asked her to be his partner,” you said quietly, the memory stinging. “and he liked her post. and they text.” you hated how you sounded; petty, insecure, nothing like your usual self. mandy noticed the change too, and a soft, knowing smile touched her lips. you were jealous, she thought.

“well, i checked his instagram,” mandy said gently. “he likes a lot of girls’ posts. i think it’s just a mindless habit for him, like scrolling. it probably means nothing– and honestly? i have a feeling cynthia was lying about him asking her. he looked like he’d rather be anywhere else during that whole race.”

you frowned, genuinely puzzled. “why would she lie?”

mandy mentally face-palmed at your naivete but just shook her head. “it doesn’t matter why. what really matters is you.” she leaned closer, her voice dropping. “so. do you like him?”

the question hit you like a bucket of cold water. your breath caught and you blinked at her, your mind going totally blank. do you like him? the question echoed in the sudden silence of your mind. “i… i don’t know,” you whispered, but the fact that you didn’t immediately deny it made your heart hammer against your ribs. why didn’t you just say no?

mandy gave you a look that said she saw right through you. you stared back, and something inside you seemed to crack open. do you like jungkook? did you really like him? the possibility, once unthinkable, now felt terrifyingly real. but... how? when?

mandy patted the space beside her and slid under the covers. “come on. get in.” you snuggled in next to her, pouting. “you need to figure out if you like him or not,” she said, her voice a matter of fact. “because if you don't, then none of this should bother you. who he likes, what he does with cynthia... it shouldn’t matter to you. right?”

you pouted, pulling the blanket up to your chin. “but he said he liked me…” you mumbled, the confession feeling both precious and painful.

“and what did you say back?” mandy asked.

“i… i told him he was lying.”

mandy turned on her side to face you, a slow grin spreading across her face. “so you never actually told him if you liked him back or not. right?” you shook your head. “okay. so the whole mess is on both of you. him for being a flirty idiot with no boundaries, and you, for not even admitting your own feelings to yourself, while getting jealous over him.”

jealous? the word echoed in your head. that’s what this squeezing, aching, bitter feeling was? you’d never felt anything like it before. and the fact that it was over jungkook made everything more confusing. but as mandy laid it out so simply, the fog in your mind began to clear little by little. the pain when cynthia talked about him, the ache at the thought of them together, the way your heart raced when he got near you… it all pointed to one overwhelming, undeniable truth.

it was as if mandy could see the realization dawning in your eyes. she smiled softly. “you like him.”

you looked up at her, your face flushed with heat and confusion, and after a long moment, you gave a tiny, hesitant nod.

mandy let out a quiet squeal and pulled you into a tight hug. “you finally admitted it!”

you whined into her shoulder. “but– but mandy i don’t know what to do!”

she pulled back, holding you at arm’s length, her expression turning practical. “okay. first, you need to talk to him. tell him how you feel. or at least figure out what you want to say before that.” seeing your panic, she squeezed your hands. “but for right now, you need to stop thinking and go to sleep. your poor brain is probably fried. everything will look clearer in the morning, okay? just relax.”

you nodded, feeling a strange mix of terror and relief. but as you lay in the dark, your mind wouldn’t stop racing. the thought was so strange, so unexpected, you like jeon jungkook. it should have felt wrong, given your history. but somehow, in the quiet truth of the night, it also felt... right. you couldn’t believe it, but you also couldn’t deny it anymore. the boy you’d spent more than a decade thinking you despised had somehow, quietly and stubbornly, carved out a place in your heart. and that was enough to make you want to scream at your pillow.

. . .

mandy steadied the ladder as you reached up to place a silver star on the highest branch you could manage. “careful there! don’t fall, clumsy,” she said, her voice fond.

you giggled, securing the star. “i’m fine! stop worrying, you sound like my mom.”

it was christmas eve, and the whole village was pitching in, their faces lit with smiles. you’d already exchanged a dozen small gifts; a jar of honey from mr. henderson, a knitted scarf from mrs. ahn, a pretty notebook from little kiki. you’d given out your own little packages of homemade cookies and hand-painted cards. the whole spirit of giving made your heart feel full.

right now, you were helping decorate the massive tree in the center of the square, working alongside mandy, layla, and a few others. your heart felt… lighter, somehow, after admitting your feelings to mandy last night. but it also made you feel more vulnerable, more exposed. you couldn’t quite believe it yourself, that you liked someone. and that someone being jungkook. the thought was both thrilling and terrifying.

speaking of him, you’d seen him around all day, though your paths hadn’t crossed at all. he seemed busy, the go-to guy for any heavy lifting or tasks that require strength. part of you (a part you tried so hard to ignore) had missed his annoying presence, the way he’d usually find you to poke and tease.

right now, he was across the square, being useful. you watched as he easily lifted a giant, heavily decorated wreath for old mrs. lee, who affectionately patted his bicep in thanks. he gave a short, silent nod to nancy as she handed him a tangled string of lights to fix. he was surrounded, as usual, by a small circle of women needing help. he didn’t seem to mind, he just did the task and moved on.

then you saw cynthia approach him. she looked so stunning, as always, in a chic caramel coat. she said something to him, smiling brightly, and placed a hand on his forearm, in a familiar, possessive gesture. jungkook didn’t pull away, he didn’t stiffen or step back. he just listened, gave a low grunt in response, and turned to untangle the lights. but he didn’t shake off her hand.

the sight alone was like a cold splash of water. it dragged back cynthia’s boasts from last night right to the front of your mind. the tiny, fragile hope you’d let yourself feel, that maybe, just maybe, his words were real, began to shrivel. he looked so comfortable with her, so indifferent to her touch. if he really liked you, wouldn’t he… wouldn’t he not be so casual with other women? his words to you must have just been part of his act, his flirty game he played with everyone. the doubt came crashing back, a heavy, sick feeling in your stomach.

you shook your head slightly, forcing the thoughts away. you wouldn’t let mandy see you upset. today was a happy day, so you plastered a bright smile on your face.

“this one next?” mandy asked, handing you a glittering red bauble.

“yes! perfect for right here,” you said, your voice a little too cheerful as you hooked it onto a branch.

meanwhile, jungkook was across the square, hefting a stack of firewood with roberto for mrs. ahn’s fireplace.

“bro, you are seriously stacked,” roberto said, huffing under his own load. “no wonder all the girls in the village are down bad for you, damn.”

jungkook just shrugged, adjusting his grip. “i own a gym. i work out.” his tone was casual, but his mind was elsewhere. it was on the fact that all the strength in the world didn’t seem to matter, because the one girl he actually wanted didn’t believe a word he said. you think that he’s full of shit, instead.

they deposited the wood by mrs. ahn’s door with a final grunt. the old woman beamed, pressing small, wrapped candies into their hands. “for my strong boys! thank you!”

“thank you, mrs. ahn!” roberto said, beaming.

jungkook gave a short nod and shoved the candy into his jacket pocket.

as they walked away, roberto nudged him. “man, i got totally shot down asking jessica out. her loss, right?” he laughed, not seeming too bothered by the rejection. “might try for cynthia next, but she’s way out of my league. she’s probably pinning on you anyway, right?” he said, the question careless and casual.

jungkook was seriously considering shoving roberto’s face into the nearest snowbank just to shut him up. but the last part snagged his attention. cynthia. yeah, that woman had been glued to his ass side since he got back. he knew exactly what she wanted, he could smell the intention a mile off. ever since she’d asked for his instagram she hadn’t stopped texting, sending pictures that were supposedly innocent but had a clear, suggestive undertone. he didn’t care though. he let her do what she wanted because his attention, his focus, his whole damn heart was, stupidly, completely set on you.

he shot roberto a sidelong glance. “not interested, she’s all yours if you want her.”

roberto laughed again, clapping him on the back. “you’re a real bro’s bro, man. come on, the guys are grabbing a beer.”

against his better judgment, jungkook let himself be steered toward a cluster of men near the pub. the moment he saw jayden among them, his mood soured instantly. he hadn’t forgotten what that piece of shit had said about you. his hands curled into fists at his sides, the instinct to swing almost overwhelming. but he forced his fingers to relax.

the guys greeted him, shoving a cold beer into his hand.

“heard you struck out with jessica.” sebastian said with a grin, elbowing roberto.

roberto groaned, running a hand over his face. “man, don’t remind me. i thought for sure after the festival… but nah. said my breath smelled like fish.”

the guys snorted. “what were you eating, dude?” aden laughed.

“i don’t even know! probably those sardine sandwiches my mom makes.” roberto took a swig of his beer, then leaned in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial but still-too-loud whisper. “but hey, you win some, you lose some. i, uh… i might’ve accidentally won one last night i wasn’t supposed to.”

jungkook, who had been silently nursing his beer and staring at the condensation on the glass, barely listening, glanced up.

jayden’s eyes widened. “whoa, whoa. spill.”

roberto looked around, then mumbled, “marco’s sister. she was, uh, visiting for the pre-festival stuff.”

“bro,” khalid said, leaning forward. “you fucked marco’s sister? are you trying to die? i’m serious.”

“i was drunk!” roberto hissed, defending himself. “it was dark! i didn’t know it was her until, like, after!”

sebastian shook his head, a mix of disbelief and amusement on his face. “damn, man. your ass is grass if he finds out. she better not get pregnant.”

roberto puffed out his chest, a flash of drunken bravado. “nah, nah. i might’ve been three sheets to the wind, but my pull-out game? never fails me bro. that shit is, like, muscle memory.”

jayden choked on his beer, laughing. “muscle memory? dude, that’s not a skill you wanna brag about.”

“hey, it’s kept me out of trouble so far!” roberto insisted, though he looked a little pale at the thought of marco. he quickly changed the subject, his eyes landing on jungkook, who had gone back to looking bored. “anyway, that’s my drama. what about you, jeon? you must be cleaning up. all these village girls looking at you like you’re a free steak.”

jungkook didn’t even look at him. he took a slow drink. “not interested.”

“not interested?” aden echoed. “come on, man. cynthia is basically throwing herself at you. i saw her glued to your side earlier. she’s fine as hell. you telling me you’re not even a little tempted?”

jungkook finally lifted his gaze. it was flat, devoid of the crude humor the others were trading in. “i said i’m not interested.” his voice held a finality that quieted the table for a beat.

sebastian recovered first, trying to lighten the mood. “he’s got a point. maybe he’s got a girl back in the city. a different one every night, right, jungkook?”

jungkook just shrugged, he didn’t confirm nor did he deny. his mind was elsewhere now as his eyes found you across the square, by the big tree. you were laughing, trying to adjust a sprig of mistletoe while mandy playfully tried to tickle you. you were wearing a soft-looking beige dress, your hair half-up, half-down, catching the light. you looked so beautiful it made his chest ache. fuck. how he wanted to walk over there, wrap his arms around you, and just bury his face in your hair.

then a voice cut through his thoughts, sharp and clear.

“...so you’re really gonna ask her tonight?” one of the guys was saying to jayden.

jungkook’s attention snapped back to them.

jayden nodded, a smug little smile on his face. “yeah, i am. hoping she’ll say yes.”

a couple of the guys chuckled and nudged him. “she’ll definitely say yes, man. didn’t she already agree to go out with you before? after the festival?”

jayden’s smirk widened. “something like that.”

the group murmured their approval, raising their beers in a half-hearted toast.

jungkook’s blood ran cold, then hot. this fucker was going to ask you out. and from the sound of it, he thought he had a chance with you. a red haze took over jungkook’s vision. there was no way. absolutely no fucking way he was going to let that happen. he took a long, slow drink of his beer, his eyes never leaving jayden, a picture already forming in his mind, that involved his fists and jayden’s face if he ever thought to get one step closer to you.

. . .

your mother gently fixed the silver butterfly pendant she’d made into your hair. “there,” she murmured, her voice full of quiet pride. “my beautiful girl.” she kissed the top of your head, and you leaned into the touch, wrapping your arms around her in a tight hug.

“i love it, mama, thank you!” you whispered, your heart swelling with love. she was your whole world. growing up without a father had meant she’d been everything, both mother and father, your rock, your confidante. her strength and kindness were the foundations of your life, and in moments like this, you felt that bond so deeply it almost ached.

after she went to help the other women with the final food preparations, you stood alone for a moment, watching the children shrieking with laughter as they chased each other through the fresh snow. your eyes, almost against your will, began to scan the busy square. you searched for a familiar leather jacket, a certain set of broad shoulders, but you couldn’t spot jungkook anywhere. a faint, silly disappointment settled in your chest.

suddenly, a gentle poke in your side made you jump.

you turned to see jayden smiling down at you, a soft laugh escaping him. “did i scare you?”

you let out a breathy laugh of your own, placing a hand over your heart. “you startled me a little!”

“sorry,” he said, though he didn’t look too sorry. he was always so calm. “i was just finishing setting up the children’s gift booth over there and saw you standing here. thought you might like to help me put the last of the toys out? could use an expert opinion on what the little ones will like most.”

you knew you were feeling dejected, confused, and a little lonely. so helping with something for the children sounded like the perfect, pure distraction. “of course,” you said, giving him a genuine, if small, smile. “i’d love to help.”

as you walked with him to the booth, you couldn’t help but notice how different he was from jungkook. jayden was kind man, his attention was always so focused and sincere. he asked about your ankle, about your mom, about the school. he didn’t play confusing, hot-and-cold games. he was straightforward, and his smile always easy. and yet, even as you appreciated his gentle company, a traitorous part of your mind kept slipping away, wondering where he was, what he was doing. you mentally scolded yourself. it was so rude to be thinking of someone else while you were with jayden, who was being nothing but nice to you.

you were arranging stuffed animals on a table when your gaze drifted past jayden’s shoulder, and you froze.

there was jungkook. he was wearing a scarf. a thick, grey, hand-knitted scarf. your scarf. you’d made it last week and gave it to mrs. jeon this morning as an early christmas gift. and now it was wrapped around his neck, tucked into his leather jacket.

jayden, noticing your distracted stare and your suddenly flushed cheeks, completely misinterpreted. he thought his presence was making you shy, flustered in a good way. a confident smirk touched his lips.

he stepped a little closer, blocking your view of jungkook, and gently took your attention back. “you know,” he began, his voice smooth and careful, “i’ve really enjoyed spending more time with you lately. you’re… unlike anyone else here.” he paused, his eyes sincere. “i’ve actually had feelings for you for a while now, and i was wondering… if you’d consider giving me a real chance. let me take you out properly, not just as friends.”

you were completely flustered, because his confession was so sincere, so gentle. it was touching. aside from jungkook’s frustrating, teasing declarations, jayden was the first man in the village to ever ask you out so directly. a part of you was deeply moved by his honesty. but another, larger part just felt… sad. you liked jayden. he was a good man, polite, stable, charming. any girl would be so lucky to have him. but you liked him the same way you liked a friend, a brother, with platonic affection and respect. it was totally different than the dizzying, all-consuming storm that thinking of jungkook brought.

you opened your mouth, ready to gently let him down, to thank him and explain you valued his friendship too much. you wanted to be kind, to be the good person you always tried to be. “jayden, that’s so sweet, i–”

your words died in your throat, as your eyes flickered over his shoulder again.

jungkook was still there, but so was cynthia. she was standing so close to him, her body angled into his space. from your distance, your angle, it looked unmistakable. her face was tilted up, her hand was on his cheek, and it looked for all the world like she was kissing him. jungkook’s back was to you, his posture rigid, but you didn’t see him pushing her away. in fact, his head was bent, leaning down toward her.

your world tilted violently, as the air left your lungs in a silent gasp. the last fragile thread of hope you’d been clinging to, the hope that maybe, just maybe, he meant what he said, shattered into a million icy pieces in your chest. the pain that you felt was instant and breathtaking.

you snapped your gaze back to jayden, your vision blurring with unshed tears. you were seconds away from breaking down right there in the snow. in your hurt, in your raw, overwhelming need to escape the agony of what you just seen, you did something completely unlike yourself.

you gave jayden a wobbly, watery smile, your voice trembling. “okay,” you whispered, the word feeling foreign on your tongue. “let’s… let’s try.”

it had nothing to do with wanting jayden. it was the most selfish, unlike-you thing you’d ever done. it was about running as fast as you could from the soul-crushing pain of the heartbreak jungkook had just delivered. and even as you said it, the image of him and cynthia, kissing, burned behind your eyelids, a wound you knew wouldn’t heal anytime soon.

. . .

as the night deepened, the village square turned into one a single, vibrant living room. no one celebrated alone here. it was a tradition, one big family under the starry winter sky. the air was filled with joyful noise; live folk music from a few men with guitars and a fiddle, the constant hum of happy chatter, bursts of laughter, and the rustle of gift exchanges.

you’d been sticking close to jayden ever since your conversation. after you’d accepted his offer, he’d pulled you into a hug that felt too tight, too long. now, his hand seemed permanently fixed to the small of your back, a possessive weight that felt foreign and uncomfortable to you. when you caught mandy’s eye across the crowd, she was staring at jayden’s hand with a deep, questioning frown. you looked away quickly, a knot of anxiety tightening in your stomach.

meanwhile, jungkook had been trying to ditch cynthia for the last hour. she’d been glued to his ass ever since he’d left the pub, finding new reasons to be near him.

“jungkook, your scarf is crooked,” she’d say, reaching to “fix” it, her fingers lingering on the scarf– your scarf.

“it’s fine,” he’d grunt, stepping back.

“you should come by my place later. i have this amazing spiced wine,” she’d suggest, her voice a purr.

“nah, busy.”

he’d finally managed to lose her by ducking somewhere quiet to take a call from jimin about a gym equipment delivery. he was leaning against the cold brick wall, the phone to his ear, when she found him again. the call ended, and he shoved his phone back in his pocket with a sigh.

“there you are,” cynthia said, appearing in front of him like a ghost. she stepped closer to him. “hiding from me?”

“i’m not hiding. i’m busy,” jungkook said, his voice flat. he tried to move past her, but she shifted, blocking his way.

“you’re always ‘busy’. what’s so important it can’t wait for christmas eve?” she pouted, but her eyes were menacing. she reached up, her hand aiming for his face. “you have a little snow…”

he caught her wrist before her fingers could touch his cheek, his grip firm but not rough. “don’t.”

“don’t what?” she challenged, leaning closer. “i’m just being friendly. you seemed to like it well enough earlier.”

“i didn’t,” he stated, releasing her arm. “i don’t. just back off, cynthia. i’m not interested.”

“not interested?” she laughed, but it was a sharp, brittle sound. “come on. i see the way you look at me. we’re the same, kook. we don’t belong in this boring little village. we understand the real world.” she moved in again, this time more boldly, her body pressing against his, her face tilting up. “stop playing hard to get.”

before he could shove her away properly, her hands came up, one gripping the lapel of his jacket, the other grabbing the side of his face, trying to pull him down to her level. she was strong, and for a split second, her mouth was dangerously close to his.

that was all it took.

he jerked his head back, his hands coming up to firmly grasp her shoulders, pushing her back with enough force to make her stumble. “i said back the fuck off,” he growled, his voice low and deadly serious. all traces of his usual bored indifference were gone, replaced by cold, clear anger. “i am not playing, i am not interested. get this shit through your head. do not touch me again.”

she stared at him, her perfect composure cracking, revealing shock and furious embarrassment. “i– you’re an asshole,” she spat.

“finally, something we agree on,” he shot back, turning his back on her and striding out without a second glance.

he’d come looking for you after that, his nerves frayed, needing the calm he only seemed to find around you. but the one time he’d managed to get close, you’d flinched away from him like he was a stranger, avoiding his eyes entirely. that silent rejection had cut deeper than anything else, sparking a frustrated anger within him.

now, that anger was at a rolling boil as he watched you with jayden. he saw the other man’s hand on your back like he owned you. who the hell does he think he is? the thought was red-hot in his mind. and why the fuck are you letting him? the sight made his blood run hot.

people were dancing, singing along badly to the music, clinking glasses. jayden had been drinking steadily, and the alcohol was making him bolder. you felt his hold around your waist tighten, pulling you closer against his side. you shifted, trying to create a little space.

“jayden, you’re… you’re holding me a little tight,” you whispered, gently squeezing his forearm.

he just grinned down at you, his breath warm and heavy with the smell of beer. “did i tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?” he slurred, leaning in closer.

you leaned back, your discomfort growing. “please, you’re making me uncomfortable,” you said softly, trying to be polite, to not make a scene.

he didn’t seem to hear. his hand slid lower, dangerously close to the curve of your backside. you stiffened, your heart pounding against your ribs in sudden fear. this wasn’t the gentle jayden you knew. he dipped his head, his lips brushing your earlobe. “i’ve always wanted you,” he whispered, the words thick and sloppy.

you scrunched your face, putting your hands on his chest to push him away. “jayden, stop–”

suddenly, the heavy weight of him vanished. you stumbled forward a step as jayden was yanked backwards with so much force he almost lost his footing.

you looked up. jungkook stood there, chest heaving, his eyes pure fury fixed on jayden. “take your hands off her,” he growled, his voice a low threat that cut through the music.

jayden, swaying slightly, wiped his mouth and smirked, the alcohol making him stupidly brave. “she’s with me, jeon. back off.”

jungkook took a step forward, closing the distance. “you put your filthy hands on her like that again, and i’ll break every fucking one of them.”

jayden laughed, a mocking, drunken sound. he staggered closer, getting right in jungkook’s face, though he had to look slightly up to do it. “what’s the matter?” he hissed, his voice dripping with provocation. “jealous? i finally get to fuck her, and you can’t?”

that was it. the last thread of jungkook’s control snapped.

his fist connected with jayden’s jaw with a sickening crack. it was one punch, but it carried all of jungkook’s pent-up frustration, his fear for you, his possessiveness, and his own wounded heart. jayden’s head snapped to the side, and he crumpled like a sack of stones, landing hard in the snow with a heavy thud, groaning.

a collective gasp rippled through the crowd. the music faltered, as people stopped dancing and turned to stare.

you clapped your hands over your mouth, a horrified squeak escaping you.

but jungkook didn’t even glance at jayden writhing in the snow. he turned his furious, pained gaze directly on you. in two strides, he was before you. he reached out, his fingers closing around your wrist. his grip was firm, but it wasn’t rough. and without a word, ignoring the rising shouts of “hey!” and “what happened?”, he started pulling you, stumbling, away from the stunned crowd.

you stumbled through the snow, trying to yank your arm free, your boots slipping on the ice. your chest felt so tight. his breathing was loud and uneven, like he was running on nothing but pure anger.

when he finally stopped and spun around to face you, his voice exploded in the quiet alley. “what the fuck was that? you and him– are you serious right now?”

you shook your head, tears already streaming down your cold cheeks, overwhelmed. “jungkook, stop, you’re hurting me– why are you doing this?”

“after everything i told you?” he cut in immediately, his words sharp. “i told you to stay away from that fucker. i told you he was no good! and you still stood there with him like i didn’t say shit?”

you choked out a sob. “you don’t get to say that! you don’t get to control who i talk to! you took it too far jungkook, you punched him– why would you do that?”

he laughed, a harsh, ugly sound, and stepped closer, crowding your space. “why do you think? because i told you i like you, and you still didn’t trust me. and yet you trusted him– some fucker who had his hands all over you.”

that’s when you lost it completely. because, why was he acting all protective over you, like he really liked you when not even too long ago he was kissing an other girl? what jayden did was not something to casually shake off but currently, your mind was too fogged to think properly. your voice broke as you yelled, “because at least he’s honest! he doesn’t mess with my head! he doesn’t say one thing and do another– he doesn’t tell me he likes me and then go kiss someone else like i don’t matter!” the words spilled out between sobs. “i saw you, jungkook! i saw you with cynthia today, so don’t look at me like that!”

he froze. the anger on his face flickered into confusion. “what? what are you talking about?”

but you were spiraling, the hurt pouring out. “you keep pulling me in and then pushing me away! you make me feel stupid for believing you! stop doing that, just stop! if you want her, then be with her and leave me alone!”

something in his face cracked. he spoke over you, the words tumbling out fast, like he was afraid you’d stop listening. “she tried to kiss me, but i shoved her off and told her to get lost.” he stepped closer even though you were shaking. “i don’t even give a fuck about anyone else. i only ever notice someone when they’re near you.”

you shook your head, the tears coming harder. “you’re lying,” you sobbed, the words choked and wet. “you’re always lying to me. you say things and then you do the opposite, and i don’t know what to believe!”

“i’m not lying!” he fired back, his voice rising, not at you, but at the whole fucked situation. “what do you want from me, huh? what do i have to do?” his hands raked through his hair. “you want me to throw every other woman in this village into the damn lake? you want me to walk around with a sign that says i’m yours? tell me! because i’ll fucking do anything if it means you’ll believe me.”

the words hit you all at once, too fast, too heavy, and your brain couldn’t catch up. somewhere deep down, you knew he was being honest, that this was as close to begging as he got, but everything inside you was already overloaded. you knew you were being unfair. you knew you were lashing out. but knowing didn’t stop the tightness of your chest, the coldness of your hands, the overlapping thoughts. you didn’t even know what you wanted him to say anymore.

you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling small and broken, “then– then why does it feel like you don’t care?” you said, sobbing, “i don’t know what i’m saying,” you added helplessly, almost to yourself. “i just– everything happened so fast, and i’m scared, i’m sorry if i–”

“don’t,” he cut in immediately. “don’t you fucking apologize.” his voice dropped, rough and raw. “i’m bad at this. i always say the wrong shit. i fuck up– but i swear to god– i’m not playing with you.” his voice dropped, admitting the ugly truth. “i punched him because he fucking touched you and i– i like you. i’ve always liked you. you’re the only person in this whole damn village that matters to me. but you–”

you stood there, crying silently while listening to him.

he shook his head, a frustrated, pained look crossing his face. “–you trust everyone. you’re nice to everyone. even the ones who talk shit about you. even the ones who would take advantage of you in a heartbeat. but you won’t ever trust me. and that… that fucks with my head more than anything.”

the silence that followed was thick and strange, broken only by the sound of your uneven breathing and the distant echo of music from the festival below. for the first time since he’d dragged you away, jungkook didn’t look angry. he looked... wrecked. his shoulders were still tense, his jaw tight, but his eyes softened when he finally noticed how badly you were shaking, your arms wrapped tight around yourself as if trying to hold everything together. the fight seemed to drain out of him all at once, too.

you sniffed, wiping your face with the back of your sleeve. “i... i believe you.”

he swore under his breath, a low, rough sound. he stepped closer instinctively, his big hands hovering in the air for a second, like he was afraid to touch you the wrong way, fuck, he wanted to hold you in his arms right now, so bad. but then, with a carefulness that felt foreign on him, he cupped your face. his thumbs brushed clumsily at your wet cheeks, smearing the tears.

“fuck,” he muttered, his forehead dropping against yours. his breath was warm and uneven against your skin. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to scare you. i shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.” his voice was still gruff, but there was something raw and vulnerable underneath it now. he never apologized for punching that piece of shit because if he had an other chance at doing it, he will do it again and again. “i can’t do this right, i don’t know how to behave when i’m angry. but i would never hurt you. never.”

you nodded shakily, as you were unconsciously leaning into his touch.

“don’t be scared,” he murmured, the words quiet. it sounded like he was telling it to himself, too.

the air between you shifted slightly. his gaze dropped to your lips, his own parting slightly. he started to lean down, his intent was clear, as his movements were slow, giving you every chance to pull away.

your mind went blissfully, terrifyingly blank. everything melted away under the warmth of his hands and the raw honesty in his eyes. he was going to kiss you, and your body wasn’t willing to pull away at all. your eyes fluttered shut.

but suddenly, something small and soft barreled between your legs, rubbing against your ankles.

you let out a short, sharp scream jumping fully into jungkook’s chest. he reacted instantly, his arms snapping around you, holding you tight against him as he scanned you, his body coiled protectively. “what? what is it?”

a familiar little bark answered him.

both of you looked down. rocky sat in the snow at your feet, his tail wagging furiously, tongue lolling out.

you stared at the dog.

jungkook stared at the dog.

then you looked at each other. the sheer absurdity of the moment hit you both at once. a choked laugh escaped you, followed by another, until you were both laughing. jungkook’s arms were still around you, but now his hold was looser, his laughter vibrating against your back where you were pressed against him.

jungkook let out a breath that sounded half like a laugh, half like a curse, eyes dropping to the dog before flicking back to you. “little one needs some more training. so he stops running away. and interrupting moments like these, yeah?” he was clearly teasing you, since rocky was your dog.

you giggled, still clinging to his jacket for a second longer before scooping down. “he wasn’t running away,” you pulled rocky into your arms, his cold nose nudging your chin. “he just got worried about me. didn’t you, my little boy?” you buried your face into his fur, fingers scratching behind his ears, your voice was soft and affectionate in a way that always did something awful to jungkook’s chest.

when you looked back up at him. the realization hit you all at once. you never told him you liked him back. your cheeks flushed hot. you never said it. you said that you believed him, yes, but you never said you liked him, never said anything at all, and wasn’t he literally about to kiss you? your stomach twisted. wait... did he already figure it out? did he see it when you closed your eyes?

before you could overthink yourself into passing out, you felt a finger tap your forehead. “you’re loud,” he said with a smirk. “i can hear you thinking from here.” you yelped softly, hugging rocky tighter as you turned your face away. “i– no– i was not,” you mumbled, heat flooding your cheeks. “we should probably go back now. everyone’s gonna start wondering where we went.”

jungkook gave you a look that said not a chance, before snorting. “nah,” he said, suddenly grabbing your wrist and tugging you the opposite way. “i’ve got a better idea.”

“wait, where are we going?” you asked, struggling a little to match his long strides while holding rocky. “people are gonna worry! and you still need to apologize to jayden!” you added, pouting despite yourself.

he stopped so suddenly you yelped, bumping into his back. he turned to face you, eyes sharp. “did he make you uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice low.

you hesitated, fingers tightening in rocky’s fur, then nodded slowly. “…yeah.”

you saw his jaw clench. “then i’m not apologizing,” he said flatly. “and if i ever see him again, i’ll do worse.” you gasped, immediately scolding him. “jungkook! no! that’s– violence isn’t the answer, okay? what he did was wrong but you can’t just–” you stopped when you noticed the corner of his mouth lifting. he was smirking at your little angry pout like it was his favorite thing in the world.

but then his expression shifted again, turning into something serious. “i’m not joking,” he said quietly. “anyone who thinks about touching you like that? i’ll break them. just so you know.” the raw sincerity in his voice made your blush deepen. it was terrifying and, somehow, made you feel incredibly safe.

he tugged at your wrist again, lighter this time. “now, come on. work those little legs.” he started walking.

you whined immediately. “you still didn’t tell me where we’re going!” your protest followed him all the way up the path, until the trees opened and the familiar cliff came into view.

the place where he’d first brought you on his bike. the village lights twinkled peacefully below, a world away from the chaos you’d just lived.

jungkook let go of your hand and stood beside you, looking out. “i’m still waiting, you know,” he said after a moment of quiet.

you turned to him, confused. “huh?”

he looked back at you, a small, nervous smirk on his face. it looked different from his usual confident ones. “you know. you still haven’t replied to my very pathetic confessions.”

oh.

oh no.

that was what you were scared of.

you thought that maybe he’d forget, or that your actions had been answer enough. you gulped, suddenly unable to meet his eyes, focusing intensely on rocky’s fur. your words tripped over themselves when you tried to speak. “i– i didn’t– i thought maybe you forgot and–”

jungkook laughed softly, the sound warm in the cold air. “how do you get any cuter when you’re nervous?” he reached out and put his hand on top of your head, ruffling your hair gently. it only made you shy away further, burying your face in rocky’s scruff.

shit, he thought. you were going to be the death of him, because how could anyone look at you; so soft, so flustered, so genuinely good, and not fall straight on their face for you? he’d give you the whole damn world if you just asked for it.

he cleared his throat. “you know what,” he said, pulling your attention back. his smirk faded into something more serious, more vulnerable. “i don’t think i like you.” he paused, letting the words hang. “i think… fuck, i think i’m in love with you.”

your heart stopped, then slammed against your ribs. he loved you. jungkook loved you. you just stared, frozen, until he laughed awkwardly and scratched his neck. “damn, little bear,” he said as shook his head. “am i that hard to love, huh?”

his joking tone broke the spell. you startled, shaking your head rapidly. “no! it’s not like that!” you took a deep, shaky breath, looking down at rocky, who was now dozing peacefully in your arms. you mumbled into his fur, the words so quiet they were almost lost to the wind. “i… i do like you.”

you were pretty sure you were about to faint.

jungkook’s eyes lit up. he leaned in closer, grinning. “hm? what was that?” he teased. “didn’t quite catch it.” he’d actually heard you perfectly. he was trying his absolute hardest to act cool, to not let his composure completely crumble right there in front of you. it wouldn’t look good for his tough-guy image. but internally, he felt like the happiest, luckiest bastard on the whole goddamn planet.

you huffed, flustered, but glowing. “you’re so annoying,” you muttered. his grin widened. yeah. he was doomed.

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