The hardest time of your life. You've never thought you'd ever have to fake a smile until now, never thought your words would tremble at memories passing through and never experienced a solution such as this. Productivity can't solve this. There's no work to be done or objective to finish; there are only memories to think of. Blood and sweat will get you nowhere but deeper into the void. You were terrified this time would come; the day thoughts and memories would rule your actions. To feel helpless. To want to reminisce on something so painful. To not have a plan and hope time eases the pain. You're so used to using pain and struggle as your drivers that your worried it might feed an endless torture this time around. The fact that the rest of your life will never be the same crushes you. This wasn't deserved yet still happened.
.... But it will be okay. This pain means you recognize its importance, dont avoid it. Come to peace with it and one day in the future it may bring you comfort when you need it most.
