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@jeremybrophy
“You’re going to miss out on taking the baby trick-or-treating? That’s horrible. Take the baby. Get candy. Let me beat up the clowns.”
“Oh yeah, because the clowns will be oh so scared of your twink looking ass.”
“Your scrawny ass ain’t much better, so shut up.”
“I don’t like cats. They’re evil.”
“What?! Really? I never would’ve pegged you as a cat hater.”
“I also don’t like dogs. Or reptiles or birds... Basically I don’t like pets that much.”
“Why? That just sounds horrible….”
“You’re the first to feel that way.”
“I don’t like cats. They’re evil.”
“Hold on. Someone made a backpack that you can put your dog in. I’m not saying I already know what Christmas gift I’m buying myself, but I’m not denying it either.”
“Now that seems like a practical Christmas gift! You could take your dog everywhere you went! Although that might be a little crazy...”
“I will neither confirm nor deny the rumors… that I’ve been thinking about getting a cat.”
“Why? That just sounds horrible....”
“I am not ready for all these fucking clowns this Halloween. I feel like I’m going to end up just hiding in my apartment, I am only five foot six. I will not survive. Why does God do this to me?”
“You’re going to miss out on taking the baby trick-or-treating? That’s horrible. Take the baby. Get candy. Let me beat up the clowns.”
“Damn it’s muggy out today. Classic New York fall weather, I guess.”
“You know, honestly, I’m just ready for it to start snowing at this point.”
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vicky: me too. he's my angel.
Vicky: I don't know honestly. Come by sometime when I'm not mad @ u.
Vicky: I wouldn't...
Jer: That's good.
Jer: When are you not mad at me? Only when you're drunk and want sex.
Jer: Alright, so just tell him.
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vicky: He had to deal with the post-breakup me, so of course he's not really ever going to like you. I mean, I bet anyway.
Vicky: I mean he raised my baby, I feel like he'd be on my side anyway.
Vicky: I don't think I am.
Jer: I'm glad that he was there for you, Victor.
Jer: When do I get to meet Sebastian? I feel like everyone else has but me.
Jer: I think Christoph is a good man. Don't fuck him over by not telling him the truth about being ready.
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vicky: I guess.
Vicky: True. And still, no. No Hursley. He doesn't like you anyway. But even if he did, he's mine. I would kill you out of jealousy.
Vicky: Ugh that's probably a sign. Why am I slutty? Why did this happen?
Vicky: I know....I think right now we're just having fun...when we talk about it, we'll talk.
Jer: Did you ask Hursley if he likes me or not? Because if so, why are you talking about me?
Jer: Yeah, it doesn't sound like you're quite ready to settle down.
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vick: Maybe.
Vick: Well maybe you shouldn't have gone for the whitest/gayest job ever then? Hursley is one of the two people I care about in this world, I will cut u, ok?
Vick: Yeah? I'm just nervous, I think he wants monogamy and u sorta fucked that up for me.
Jer: I am when I'm sober.
Jer: I thought the whitest job was a Republican? I'm not going to hurt anyone. Just mutual help. Bros helping bros.
Jer: Can you actually do monogamy? Because it's better to tell him that you're not up to doing monogamy than to try and end up ruining a relationship
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vick: we both know you're a cunt.
Vick: Don't touch my wife.
Vick: Do you think Christoph is a good person?
Jer: Wow. Rude. I'm a lovely human being.
Jer: But I need more /color/ in my life.
Jer: Quirky guy with the ramen hair? Yeah, he seems cool.
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vicky: That's rude.
Vicky: and no.
Vicky: I'm nervous about this boy I'm sort of dating and since you're an asshole maybe you can spot other assholes and tell me if I'm making a wrong decision and if I should run back to Hursley.
Jer: You're rude. You just called me an asshole and just asked for my advice!
Jer: If you don't marry Hursley, I will because fuck me he's attractive, but also /fuck me/, you feel?
text: dat white boi jeremy
Vicky: Can I ask you a question?
Vicky: Or maybe advice?
Vicky: I'm nervous.
Jer: This better be good, mijo, I was asleep.
Jer: Are you asking me to marry you? Because I don't love you like that.
“Hey! Um, so the barista accidentally gave me two coffees, and since I’m way too awkward to return the one, I was wondering if you’d like it? …And now I’m realizing that this is even more awkward. Sorry.”
“Are you offering me free coffee? I can never say no to free coffee. It’s honestly why I take most of the jobs that I do.”
“Ugh, I feel like I’ve been missing. SNL was amazing, somehow I pulled it together, but honestly I don’t know how. I guess I gotta thank my family, Christoph, and my understudy for keeping my shit together. Did you see it? How much of a doofus did I look like?”
“”You were actually horrible. I hated every single minute of it and you should never try to act again.”
“We have known each other long enough to know that you are always invited to Wine Wednesday. Or any other day of the week.”
“You know I’m always down for anything involving wine.”
“Same here. I should come and see the show and then whisk you off to have drinks with me and get our nails done one night.”
