holding on and letting go

Jeremy Waylan Not really interested in talking about it.

[ofsummerholidays]

Her eyes clamp shut, her arm feeling as if it had been whacked by a meat cleaver. Keep calm, Summer. Don’t scream, don’t cry, just open your eyes, and assess the damage, before releasing all hell on the idiot who decided to climb a tree with an unsuspecting fourteen year old had taken refuge under. 

There’s the feeling of a hand, brushing the hair out of her face that causes her eyes to flicker open, but before she can start yelling, her breath catches. She had never seen a pair of eyes so green before. There’s something in her throat, an involuntary tug at her heart that causes the rant to die before it can reach her lips. 

“I…my arm…” she manages to say, before swallowing, “I believe my arm is broken. But other than that I’m fine.”

[jeremywaylan]

His veins are still pumping with adrenaline, his heart beat only easing as he becomes preoccupied with watching her. Their eyes meet and he almost misses the catch in her breath. Almost. He pulls his hand back quickly, an attempt to not make anything worse. It’s the sound of her voice that manages to fully break his trance-like state.

He’d broken her arm. God, of course he had. He feels like he could’ve seen this coming. He’d glanced at her briefly from up in the tree, practically jinxing it by telling himself not to land on her if something went wrong. He'd been joking, but little had he known.

He didn’t intent for the laugh to escape from under his breath, it wasn’t even sparked by humor. He shook his head, “Just my luck, huh?”

[jeremywaylan]

He’d done the cordial thing and introduced her. Although he was tempted to merely point her out from a distance, he was trying. He’d walked over to her, his guest following closely behind. He’d cleared his throat to announce their presence and nodded at her, “And this is Summer, my– mom’s fiancé, Mr. Holiday’s daughter.” He’d hoped to avoid the conversation that would surely follow if he presented her as his ex. He soon realized that was unavoidable no matter what he did.

“What’s it like living with her?” He had come to hate that question. It was up there with the insistence that he might want to get back together some day, and how messed up that was gonna be. He wished the girl would’ve let them stay on the lighthearted path they'd been on. What was it like living with Summer? It was a pang in his chest every morning that he had to ignore. It was cheap conversation at the dinner table where he had to catch himself before he brought up something he shouldn’t. It was having both feet glued in place when all he wanted was to move on. “It's not what you'd think. Or maybe it is.” A heavy sigh escaped him, “It's not ideal...,” his words faded.

From the corner of his eye he saw them make their way into the back yard. Summer and her own plus one. He muttered something under his breathe he hoped the girl beside him didn’t catch. Was she serious? Him? Had the guy she’d cheated with been too busy? If his mood hadn’t already dropped after being prompted to talk about his living situation this sure as hell had gotten the job done.

[ofsummerholidays]

@jeremywaylan

August 19, 2011

Brown eyes flicker over the paper in her hands, tongue between her teeth in concentration, as she moves her brand new bamboo knitting needles in familiar patterns taught to her by the woman who used to babysit her as a child:  inserting the tapered end through an active stitch, catching a loop of fresh yarn and drawing it through the stitch, and repeating the process over and over, until some semblance of a scarf began to take shape. 

She thoroughly enjoyed the green, and was debating whether or not she should make a beanie to match when she hears the yelp from somewhere above. 

There’s a moment of confusion, and then searing pain in her arm. 

[jeremywaylan]

He inches forward, keeping his grip as he tries making sense of his next move. He’d made it this far, he was determined to go all the way and take that damn picture. If he went under the next limb and stuck close to the side he would reach the larger one he was aiming for just a few inches to the left. It’s moments later that he realizes his mistake. 

The limb was further away than he calculated.

A beat passes before he realizes what just happened. He wastes no time scrambling to move away from her. “Shit. I mean– F–,” he flinches as a loss of pressure brings a twinge to his side, “Here let me– Are you okay?” He examines her, relieved to find there aren’t any signs of blood. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do, or what he’s doing as he brushes aside the hair on her face. Jesus, she was pretty. He’d noticed her earlier, had thought she was cute then too, but the distance really hadn’t done her justice.

[jeremywaylan]

Text to: Her

Summer: I nominate vanilla ice cream filling with a chocolate outside so it's a win win situation

Summer: Wait, also: Dad's monthly barbecue thing tomorrow; He wants to know who you're bringing

Summer: Okay, sounds good

Jeremy: Yeah alright, I'll let you wait on the verdict for that

Jeremy: Myself and a plus one. And I'm leaving an open invite for Nova

[candycorn-queen]

Headcanon Meme

[parkerwtf-blog1]

misadvnturesofcrowley-n-squirrel:

Put a symbol (or several) and a character/characters/ship in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon. Yes. Do it. ☾ - sleep headcanon ★ - sad headcanon ☆ - happy headcanon ☠ - angry/violent headcanon ✿ - Sex headcanon ■ - Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon ♡ - romantic headcanon ♥ - family headcanon ☮ - friendship headcanon ♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon ☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon ▼ - childhood headcanon ∇ -. old age/aging headcanon ♒ - cooking/food headcanon ☼ - appearance headcanon ൠ - random headcanon ◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[jeremywaylan]

Text to: Her

Summer: Ice cream cake 😏

Summer: They need to stop doing that, we have cubbies for a reason

Summer: Regardless, sounds good. Has The photo company emailed us with the link to access all the student pictures?

Jeremy: We'll see.

Jeremy (unsent): You should see one of the mock ups for the staff page someone left

Jeremy: I called and they said we would have it I

Jeremy: *in a couple of days

[jeremywaylan]

Text to: Her

Summer [unsent]: You haven't changed a bit

Summer: Are you going to be late again or should we set a place for you tonight?

Jeremy: Set a place. And while we're taking dinner orders, my mom sent me to get dessert. Cake or ice cream?

Jeremy: I should also let you know they put your copy of the staff pictures with mine, remind me to give those to you after dinner.

[jeremywaylan]

Text to: Her

Summer [unsent]: Hey babe we need to start planning out Halloween costumes! We should go out with a bang 🔫

Summer [unsent]: Oh wait I forgot.

Summer [unsent]: I wish I were able to ask you without it being weird

Summer: My dad wants to know if your vote is for lasagna or spaghetti for dinner

Jeremy: I was about to text you

Jeremy: Lasagna

[nortyhq]

Is it weird that I’ve already started shopping for homecoming? Because I might’ve sorta already found a to die for dress and shoe combination for this year that will look absolutely perfect with the sophomore tiara.

[jeremywaylan]

Optimistic, maybe. But I think you’re in the clear if weird is your concern. There were people planning their Halloween costumes in June.

[ryker-j-blog]

Really? I look like I’m on the lamb?

[jeremywaylan]

On the lamb?

[jeremywaylan]

Okay I hopped on to spam the fuck out of Ari but I’ll be back later to do any replies and answer the messages in my inbox. In the mean time y'all should go wish Ari a Happy 21st!

[jeremywaylan]

ryker-j:

“Here, how do I look in these?”

Like you’re hiding from the law.

[hanarichinspiration-blog]

[all] quirks my muse habitually has.

[jeremywaylan]

good-moods:

Writers, bold all of your character’s regular truths.

1. Smoking: the action or habit of inhaling and exhaling the smoke of tobacco or a drug. 2. Binge drinking: the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period of time. 3. Drug abuse: the habitual taking of illegal drugs. 4. Nail biting: a common body language sign of anxiety/tension. 5. Lip biting: a common body language sign of anxiety/tension. 6. Night Owl: a person who is habitually active or wakeful at night. 7. Early bird: a person who rises, arrives, or acts before the usual or expected time. 8. Negative attitudes: a philosophy of approaching life with criticism and pessimism. 9. Positive attitudes: a philosophy of approaching life with optimism and confidence. 10. Swearing: the use of offensive language. 11. Superstitious: an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome. 12. Inspecting fingernails: a common body language sign of boredom. 13. Scratching your neck: a common body language sign of uncertainty. 14. Foot and finger tapping: a common body language sign of stress/impatience. 15. Nose touch: a subtle body language sign of deceit. 16. Flipping hair: a common body language sign of craving attention. 17. Twirling hair: a common body language sign of flirtation. 18. Cracking knuckles: a common body language sign of readiness. 19. Hands behind back: a common body language sign of confidence. 20. Finger pointing: a common body language sign of authority. 21. Hands on hips: a common body language sign of readiness. 22: Hands in pockets: a common body language sign of mistrust/reluctance. 23. Frequent touch: a common body language sign of warmth/familiarity. 24. Throat-clearing: a common body language sign of rejection/doubt. 25: Jaw-clenching: a common body language sign of hostility. 26: Eye-rolling: a common body language sign of irritation. 27: Head-tilt: a common body language sign of interest. 28. Whistling: to emit high-pitched sound by forcing breath through a small hole between one’s lips or teeth; usually to a tune. 29. Humming: make a low, steady continuous sound like that of a bee; usually to a tune. 30. Perfectionism: refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. 31. Photographic memory: the ability to remember information or visual images in great detail. 32. Paranoia: a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organized system. 33. Exaggeration: a statement that represents something as better or worse than it really is. 34: Intuitive: using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive. 35: Quick-witted: showing or characterized by an ability to think or respond quickly and effectively. 36: Interrupting: breaking the continuity of a conversation with one’s own statements. 37: Doodling: to scribble or make rough drawings, absent-mindedly. 38: Irritable: having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed. 39: Gambling: to play games of chance for money; bet. 40: Travel-sick: suffering from nausea caused by the motion of a moving vehicle, boat, or aircraft. 41: Sensitive: having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings. 42: Melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. 43: Chewing gum: the exercise of chewing flavoured gum which is not intended for swallowing. 44: Fidgeting: to make small movements, especially of the hands and feet, through nervousness or impatience. 45: Sceptical: not easily convinced; having doubts or reservations. 46: Neat-freak: compulsively obsessed with cleanliness. 47: Gossiping: divulging personal information about others. 48: Prim: feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper; stiffly correct. 49: Abbreviating: Giving others nicknames/shortening names/giving pet names. 50: Having a catchphrase: having a sentence or phrase typically associated with a specific person.

[jeremywaylan]

ofsummerholidays:

“I love you, Jer.” she blurts, because he’s probably going to be happy about it but maybe he won’t, and either way she’s absolutely terrified because if she isn’t sure how she feels about everything and he isn’t sure how he feels about it, what happens then? You work through it together, comes the rational side of her, and that’s what it takes for her to calmly take a breath. Regardless of how he feels about it, this is going to change, well…everything. 

And then  it was now or never. She slowly moves her hands from behind her back, trying not to wring the life out of the blanket before it could even be used. Summer took one of his hands and gently placed the object in his palm. 

“Open your eyes?”

He says the words back with a smile, even if on the inside he felt more confusion by hearing them, “I love you too, Summer.” It was the combination of all the elements. Her hesitation, the tone of her voice, her request. He can feel something’s about to happen, but the what was a blurry image in the distance. He hopes it’s good, but the realistic side of him reminds him the chance of something good came hand in hand with the chance of something not. That thought alone terrifies the hell out of him.

He feels her hand and the room stands still, his heart beating out of his chest. The time between the soft object taking her hand’s place and her telling him to open his eyes seems like an eternity. Now he’s the hesitant one. He doesn’t move the object around trying to guess what it is. It’s not until he wills his eyes open that the last piece of the puzzle is revealed.

It’s then that the imagine slowly begins to lose it’s blur. He wears a questioning look as he directs his eyes to her then back to the blanket.

A baby’s blanket.

“Summer… Are you–,” his breath catches. He takes a glace at her stomach, as if he’s expecting it to give him some confirmation. “A baby?”

[jeremywaylan]

ofsummerholidays:

“Everything is…” she isn’t sure what word she wants to use. Wonderful? Interesting? Something she can’t quite name? The woman takes a step inside the room, biting her lip. She can’t just spring it upon him, but she isn’t quite sure how to bring it up, so there’s a pause as she let’s the sentence hang in the air for a moment. 

Damn it Summer, you are a grown woman. Suck it up.

 “Just, I have…” a shaky breath, before the sharp exhale. “Close your eyes for me? Please?”

She hesitates and now he’s concerned. Is she okay? He takes a step in her direction as she comes inside, but he doesn’t stop just because she does. He stands at an arm’s distance from her, brushes his hand over the side of her face. He says nothing verbally but he hopes his expression reassures her that whatever it is she can tell him.

“Close my eyes?” He’s not sure where she’s going with this, but he obliges. The sooner he does, maybe the sooner he’ll know what’s going on. “Alright.” He puts his hand in his pocket, eyes shutting. An army of thoughts over take his mind the moment he no longer has her to focus on.

[jeremywaylan]

ofsummerholidays:

jeremywaylan

“Jer?” comes her voice from the doorway. She’s nervous ( the word being a complete understatement but it’s all her brain can come up with at the moment ), but as Lu, Lor, and all of the internet had advised her, she needed to tell him as soon as possible. Luckily, her two best friends had been saints, helping her come up with a way to tell him that wouldn’t give him a heart attack yet still got the point across. Hopefully. Despite how she loved him, Jeremy could be so oblivious at times. “Darling?” she nudges the door open with her foot, hands behind her back, trying not to squeeze the object too hard. 

He’s standing in what was once his parents’ room. Their living arrangements courtesy of his dad’s resistance on selling the house all those years ago. A resistance he's grateful for now. He had a lot of fond memories in these walls, it was nice being able to come back to them. His parents living there was a time so long in the past, however, he’s not sure why that’s what’s on his mind. It’s when he hears her voice that it becomes clear. He’s in their shoes now. Or rather ones similar as he’s hopeful for Summer and his own future to go further. “Hi, doll. I thought I’d get the rest of the unpacking done.” He sets down his empty suitcase and turns to her. “Everything…okay?”

[jeremywaylan]

        Jeremy Reid Waylan as of August 30th, 2025;

( facts. )

resides in:  Brookline, Massachusetts. age: twenty-seven (twenty-eight on September 3rd). relationship status: married to Summer Holiday. occupation: copy editor for Departures (TimeInc.)

( about. )

After graduating from SHS, Jeremy packed his bags and prepared for his drive to Boston to attend Suffolk University. He considered a degree in sports medicine, but in the end declared a journalism major (he would later chose his concentration in web/print and add a minor in graphic design). Months prior to graduating from Stonegate, he and Manny had made plans to move into a place together. It was more convenient since they were both Boston bound. Their budget didn’t allow for anything decent, but it was doable. They put up a makeshift wall and worked with the bed and couch they had. This arrangement went on until their senior year of university when Manny moved back to Austin, Texas. They apologized for the short notice but gave him no explanation. Jeremy was just starting his digital editorial internship, which had the added bonus of being a source of income better than what he had before. Thanks to this he was able to pay the rent and bills on his own.

His internship contract ended when he graduated. Because of his experience, the good job he’d done and his befriending of the right people, he was able to snag a recommendation for a better paying position. This turned out to benefit him greatly as he and Summer spoke seriously about moving in together. The air had been cleared and their parent’s wedding had been called off just before they left for college. Since they were both in Massachusetts, they agreed to take advantage of their close proximity to see if things could work out between them again. After a few months of treating each other like friends, they realized it was turning into something more. Moving to Brookeline came after nearly four years, and a good amount of savings.

Under the influence of one of his colleagues, Jeremy went for his master’s. He applied and got into NYU on a scholarship (becoming a part time student for a media and communications program). As time went on he found that not being able to cut time on his degree bothered him. He was thankful to have Summer there for him. She and her company and support were so important to him. He couldn’t be happier than he was the day they said their vows.

( key events. )

graduation from Stonegate: June 2016. began attending Suffolk: August 2016. graduation from Suffolk: May 2020. moved in with Summer: June 2020. began attending NYU: August 2021. became engaged to Summer: November 2023. married Summer: December 2023. graduated from NYU: May 2024. began working for TimeInc.: September 2024.

( recent calls. )

outgoing call to   →   dad. incoming call from   →   summer. outgoing call to   →   lucien. incoming call from   →   mom. outgoing call to →  manny. incoming call from   → nova.

( recent texts. )

outgoing text to   →  mom.      ( coincidentally, we’re going to be in new york next weekend too. we were wondering if you wanted to join us out for dinner. ) 

incoming text from   →  nova.     ( okay, see you soon. tell Summer i said hello! ) 

outgoing text to   →  summer.     ( good morning, doll. i didn’t want to wake you, but the meeting got pushed up and i had to leave a little earlier to catch the train. there’s coffee brewing in the kitchen and something that came for you last night on the counter. have a great day, i’ll see you soon. i love you. ) 

incoming text from   →  andrew.     ( you already made me the single uncle with a married nephew. if you start popping kids now too i’m going to need some time. ) 

outgoing text to   →  manny.     ( please at least open this so i know you’re okay. i get you not wanting to talk, but i’m worried. we got an invite to the capsule opening today and i’m assuming you did too. i really hope you’ll make it. ) 

incoming text from   →  jamie.     ( hey, asshole. someone brought a few brights idea to the table and now they wanna interview you for the website. give me a call when you’re free so i can schedule you in. xx )

( recent tweets. )

@jerwaylan : what if i’d gone into sports med? 

@jerwayaln : i think i broke the ice dispenser 

@jerwaylan : i’m thinking Disney this December

@jerwalan : Roseboro’s not ready for the generation reunion that’s about to bust in