nothing ever hurt like you.

Jeri Harrigan Eighteen. There are three things that keep me sane; soccer, art, and my baby girl. I built you a house, but you never came home. hah, me? adelaide kane? keep dreaming, pal. i'm just a roleplayer.

[iwillneverletgoipromise]

It’s an extraordinary love story- Laurie McCarthy

[doctorsidney]

"I could have someone bring you an ice pack or a heating pad, if you’d like. Neither of those require moving too much. I should really consider bringing in a massage therapist to Eastwick. That would be so useful."

[jeri-harrigan]

"No...thank you. Besides it'd have to be a pretty big ice pack, because I'm pretty sure every muscle in my body is trying to tell me that that was a bad idea."

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

"Okay," Callie shook her head, regretting her nagging. "Jeri, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. I know you’re trying." She closed her eyes tiredly. "You two are better than decent, Jeri. I guess I could take credit for that," she murmured with a soft smile. "I love you, okay? Just… visit him when you’re ready." Callie felt so sad that David hadn’t seen Jeri in months. He loved her as much as she did, and she didn’t think she could stand being away from as long as he was. It felt impossible, and sometimes through it all, she felt like the weakest one. She didn’t have to suffer through incredible amounts of fear and anxiety, nor did she have to live with cancer, and she got to see all of her family practically as she pleased. But she still couldn’t help feeling so sad about it.

[jeri-harrigan]

Jeri shook her head, remaining quiet. There'd been a good reason why she was slowly integrating parts of her previous life at home with her new life at Eastwick; and that was because somehow, some way, Jeri had become increasingly better at recognizing her triggers. Sure she wasn't great at it, not yet, anyway, but she was good enough to know when a situation may lead to trouble later on down the road. Going back home was one of those situations, though the extent of trouble it'd cause Jeri wasn't clear on. She just knew her anxiety would get worse if she went home, and her paranoia would kick in just as it was time to leave. "Just rest, Mama. It's fine." Jeri said quietly, beginning to bounce her foot up and down gently. "I love you too." she added, almost as an afterthought. 

[doctorsidney]

"Sore? you know, yoga and stretching is good for that, as well as hot baths or a massage."

[jeri-harrigan]

"All of those unfortunately require having the energy to move. I've entertained the idea of a bath... but I'm comfortable." 

[jeri-harrigan]

"Now I remember why I didn't regret stopping soccer as much as I probably should've....oh God." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

"I know you’re scared baby, but maybe it won’t be so bad. Give it a try, will you? For Dad, for you, for me… He misses you so much, Jer. He hasn’t seen you in ages. He probably would be spending as much time at Eastwick as I do if Josh didn’t stop him," Callie sighed wearily. He’d probably apply for a job there if he could. You’d be surrounded by both of your parents. He cares too much sometimes." Callie thought for a moment. "Our entire family cares too much, I think. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just interesting, I think, how devoted we all are to each other. I’m sure Elena will get that from all of us." The thought of Elena made Callie smile. She stifled a tired yawn and cleared her throat. "I think you should go and see him, but you know that already. It’s up to you, okay?"

[jeri-harrigan]

"Or it could be really bad. I've thought about it, okay? Every single time I talk to him. Every single time he asks when I'm going to talk one of the doctors into a day pass to come and see him. It's not as simple as getting one and  going...I have to think of my anxiety. I have to think of the baby and my anxiety, because a trip back home is either going to be extremely helpful to my anxiety, or it'll be incredibly horrible to my anxiety." Jeri mumbles. "Well you're good parents who raised a couple of decent kids. That might have a lot to do with it." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

Callie laughed softly at Jeri’s comment on being the biggest worrier and at her text to Joshua. “You don’t have to be that blunt. Oh well, too late.It’s about time I visited home anyway. It’s been almost a month. Maybe you should come with me… What do you think?” Callie raised her eyebrows at her daughter questioningly. She knew Jeri never agreed to come, and she knew it was because she was scared she’d get too anxious. But getting used to the outside world was part of recovering, wasn’t it? She couldn’t be scared of leaving the facility forever. Callie’s eyes were sad. “Your father would love to see you, sweetheart.”

[jeri-harrigan]

"Yes I do...I have a feeling this is the only way he'll listen." Jeri said with a small shrug. "I...um...I uh..." Jeri stuttered, trailing off. The topic of her going home was always a tricky one, especially because she knew going home would end one of two ways; extremely well, or extremely poor, and her mind was almost dead-set against which one it'd be. She knew what she should do, and that was agree to go home. She knew what she wanted to do, and that was to go  home. But she was terrified to admit that. "I want to see him too..." she said finally. "But I'm scared." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

"That’s true." Callie nodded, her eyebrows raising as she agreed. "Oh Josh… He doesn’t have to. I’ll be out in less than a week they said. I’m strong. I’ll have to take it easy for a while, but it’s not so bad, right? Tell them I’ll go and see the both of them as soon as I can. Dad’s in no condition to drive all the way out here… Although it would be nice to see him." She looked down at her hand, looking at her wedding ring. It was weird to think she used to see him every single day for years and now she saw him less than once a week. She sighed nostalgically, looking back up at Jeri to answer. "I think Eastwick will be better at picking their therapists, honey. They’ve learned  thing or two too you know. I know switching therapists is an uncomfortable and awkward situation… I think she’ll be good for you. She suits you, I think."

[jeri-harrigan]

"He will. You know he will, but hang on a second." A hand slips back into her pocket, turning her phone back on. "I already told Dad not to do it, that I'm sure you'd go see him as soon as you could and he was in no condition to come out here anyway. You'd think when the most extreme worrier of the family says 'Mom's okay, you don't have to come out here' they'd take it as a sign of 'Mom's okay, we don't have to make an unplanned trip out there'" Jeri says softly, tapping at her phone screen for a second. "'She's fine. She'll be out of here in less than a week, and when she gets out she'll come back home to see both you and Dad. I'm perfectly capable of handling our mother and my kid until that point. Don't show up'. That is what I just sent...hang on...okay that's the text I just sent Josh." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

Callie smiled weakly. “My entire family is a bunch of worry-worts,” she said with a smirk. “Honey, you looked like you did to me. It was an improvement. And that’s all I could ever expect, you know that.” She paused, resting for a second. “I’ll go and see Josh when they release me. Somehow I can imagine he won’t stop worrying until he sees me and person. Your father too.  And I wonder where you two get all your worrying,” she laughed teasingly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” Callie’s face had an apologetic smile. “Dr. Montgomery seems very nice. Is she your therapist now? She seems like someone you’d like. I’m glad Elena’s with her. I’ll have to thank her when I get back. That was very kind of her.”

[jeri-harrigan]

"Yeah yeah. Usually we worry within good reason." Jeri said with a small shrug. "I know, I know. You might not have to, I think I heard him mutter something about coming to see you after his shift, depending. I'm sure Dad will try to weasel his way down here too...because I might've had to talk him out of that a couple of times." Jeri admitted. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure she is, at least that was what she said. She seems decent enough, I guess. Nothing like...you know who...so there's a relief there." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

"No, no… Josh, don’t tell your dad," Callie groaned, putting her hand to her cheek. "He doesn’t need to worry." That was the last thing he needed to do. "At least he knows I’m okay," she murmured. Callie rubbed Jeri’s cool hand with her thumb. "We’re all idiots under stress and pressure, honey. And you know what? I can’t help being kind of really proud of how under control you had things when I… when I needed you.." After a thought, she added, "Where’s Elena?"

[jeri-harrigan]

"Like I said, he can be a really big idiot." Jeri said with a small shrug. "Good thing is though, before Dad worried himself too much, he sent me a text...and I yelled at Josh. So we're good." Jeri let out a sigh. "I know, but Josh gets worse, I'm pretty sure...I didn't have things under control." she mumbled, her eyes averting to her lap, giving her head a small shake. Outwardly, Jeri knew that was what it seemed like, but no one would know how badly she'd freaked out in the inside, and no one ever would. "She's with Dr. Montgomery. I figured I'd be too stressed and that would rub off on her, and I just didn't have the energy to handle a fussy, irritable child and worry about you, and handle the mess Josh had possibly created all at once. Dr. Montgomery offered to watch her for me, actually by the sound of her voice I didn't have much of an option...but yeah." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

Callie laughed softly as a trace of irritation flit across Jeri’s face when she reached into her pocket. “Who’re you texting?” she asked with a small smirk. “Is Josh badgering you?” She tilted her head at Jeri and help up her hand a little so it didn’t pull on the IV tube. “Thanks, sweetheart,” she whispered to her daughter.

[jeri-harrigan]

"Josh....because I can't handle another phone call with him right now, and I told Dad you were okay...because your son let it slip that you were in the hospital even though I told him to wait until after I knew you were okay before he said anything." Jeri said with a small shrug, carefully taking hold of her mother's hand. "He's an idiot. I'm sorry, but it's true. Your son's a really big idiot, especially when he's stressed and under pressure, even though it seems like  it's those moments when he really knows how to come through, most of the time at least." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

"That’s good, I’m glad…" Callie trailed off wearily. She lifted her hand slightly, looking at the IV attached to the back of it. She could tell Jeri was still scared, and she wanted so much to tell her everything was alright, that she was alright, and that Jeri had nothing to worry about, like Callie always said. At least the worst of it was over, and she was alright. Now, anyway. The doctor said recovery would take anywhere from a few days to weeks, but Callie was relatively healthy and could probably spend most of her recovery out of the hospital if she took it easy. That wouldn’t be too hard. Callie curled her stiff fingers into a loose fist, her eyes steady on them. She looked up at Jeri. “Hey, come here,” she said quietly.

[jeri-harrigan]

There was the vibration again, signaling either her brother or her father had replied. In response Jeri reached into her pocket and turned her phone off, not wanting to deal with her brother anymore in the moment, and knowing her father would get it if it took her a few minutes, maybe an hour or two, to respond back. Hearing her mother's quiet voice, she looked up, scooting the chair the slightest bit closer. "Hmm?" she hummed quietly. 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

Callie’s shoulders loosened at the sight of tension fading from Jeri’s face. Thank god, she thought. Everything was going to be fine. She smiled warmly at her daughter, glad to see she was alright. “Hey baby,” she said gently. “How are you holding up?” The whole situation made Callie feel sorry for making Jeri go through the chaotic mess. She was so thankful Jeri managed to get help. Callie couldn’t remember a time where she herself felt more useless.

[jeri-harrigan]

Jeri kept pushing against the wall, willing herself to move, but it wasn't happening. "Hang on a second." she said eventually, pulling her phone from her pocket. The first thing she did was open up Josh's reply, not bothering to read it before responding back with 'Mom's okay. With her now. I'll tell Dad, somehow.' When that was done, she opened up a quick text to her father, bracing herself with a breath. 'Mama's okay. I'm up here with her now. I love you' she typed quickly, before pressing send and crossing the distance between her and her mother. "I'm doing a lot better now." she whispered, sinking into the chair next to Callie's bed. "Though I really need my medication when I get back to Eastwick." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

When the nurse left the room, Callie sat up a little, struggling from the near lack of feeling in her arms and the spinning of her head. She tried to arrange herself in bed so she didn’t look as weak. She felt much better in some ways, but also more exhausted than she’d been in a long time, and in quite a bit of pain still. Everything just felt weird, but she knew much of that was because of medication and the effects of the anaesthesia confusing her. The room was very similar to the one she’d visited Jeri in in the same hospital, and Callie decided she’d seen too much of the hospital at this point. It only reminded her of everything that happened when she wound up at the hospital. It never meant a good thing, and Callie shuddered. The door knob turned, and Callie looked up.

[jeri-harrigan]

Turning the knob, Jeri stopped. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her phone, opening a new text to her brother. Going to see Mom now, let you know how it goes. Love you. Send. Slipping the phone back into her pocket, she pushed the door open, ignoring the vibration in her pocket signaling Josh had replied. Nudging the door closed with her foot, Jeri looked at her mother and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh thank God." she muttered. The sense of panic slowly started to ebb away, now that she had physical proof that everything she'd kept telling herself was true, and the calm was starting to become more visible on Jeri's face with each passing second. 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

[callieharrigan]

 "J-Jeri?" Callie muttered tiredly. She blinked a few times, thinking about what happened that got her where she was. The memory of the searing pain in her stomach and of being scared out of her mind came to her, and she remembered the ambulance, and the emergency room doctors telling her she would need surgery, an appendectomy. She’d had an appendicitis obviously, and it ruptured with Jeri watching. Callie remembered Jeri freaking out and trying to stay calm, and Sidney helping her get comfortable enough while she waited. Everything felt strange, and her body felt as if it were floating, and she couldn’t feel anything really. The nurse smiled at her kindly, and Callie looked up. "Oh, yes, I’d like to see her." I’d like to make sure she’s alright, she thought.

[jeri-harrigan]

"Fuck...fuck...fuckity fuck." Jeri muttered. "I'm going to need a shit-ton of anxiety medication when this is all over." Closing her eyes, she let the memories of the day's events play through her mind. "Screw that....shit ton of medication and a session with Dr. Montgomery." she muttered under her breath. She continued this, until she opened her eyes in time to see a nurse headed in her direction. She wasn't paying too much attention, until the words 'would you like to see your mother' came into play. Nodding furiously, she pushed herself to a standing position, following close behind. 

[nikkicorday-deactivated20160218]

"Oh. Wow, I’m really sorry. What did he say that made you so upse— I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t, um, I shouldn’t be getting into your business like this."

[jeri-harrigan]

"He didn't say anything...I just miss him, and I'm starting to get frustrated and upset with everything again and I just...it's not a good day." 

[callieharrigan]

Don't You Worry Child || Callie and Jeri

Hours later, Callie Harrigan was wheeled out of the surgery room. She was awake briefly, drifting in and out of consciousness, taking painkillers every few hours. Her head was woozy, and her body felt numb and light. Finally, her vision cleared a little bit and she looked up to find a nurse nearing the bed, noticing Callie was awake. “You had an appendicitis, and we’ve removed it succesfully.” She said gently. The nurse glanced up. “Someone’s asked to see you. Your daughter?”

[jeri-harrigan]

"Josh, if I knew anything else I would tell you. No, not yet." Jeri shook her head, resting it against the wall behind her as she stared at the one in front of her. "No, my therapist has the baby. Because she offered you dumb ass! Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're there with Dad and I'm here with Mom, and you being there means you're not here which means I'm the only one who can relay information to the doctors, and my therapist offered to watch my kid because it's one less stressor on me and the less chance I have of an anxiety attack here the better? Jesus, Joshua I love you, I do, but sometimes you can be a really big idiot. I know, I know...I'm sorry. No for yelling at you. You really are an idiot sometimes, I'm not sorry for calling you that. I will, promise. Give Dad my love, and try to keep him calm. I love you too." Hanging up the phone, she heaved a sigh. "Fuck."