"I just woke up... I must have gotten here last night... Or this morning... I-I don't r-remember. I... I think I remember taking some paperwork to... to th-that one place to eat... Demi?"
[Sidney immediately rolled on her side and gagged, throwing up into the trashcan and groaning when it was over.] "Mmm... N-no... No, I don't. I don't. Demi? W-what happened? Oh my god."
“Uncalled for? I definitely had that coming. Just have someone stand back behind whoever you’re speaking too with cue cards, that way if you freeze up you can look at them and read the cards and BAM! You know what to say again. Thank me later. “
Sidney lay awake in bed. After years without a single word from, he leaves a message saying he missed her. What could possibly have caused him to make him think of her now? His voice was so caring and pure. The voice he used with her before he stopped coming home at night, before he stopped loving her, before he became cold and irritable with her all the time. Eventually she just let him leave. Sidney couldn't have remembered it without hearing his voice if she tried.
Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It's only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
"I know it's been a while, but you should come over some time."
A while? Try eternity. Sidney wished so badly that she could just ignore the call and delete the voice mail, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. When he first left, she missed him so much, and sometimes she still missed his voice and the way he could make her feel. Sidney never thought he ever gave her a backward glance. She used to leave him voice mails, usually drunk, but sometimes sober. She figured he'd delete them as soon as he saw the number.
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
"I know you still care... I got your voice mail from two weeks ago."
Apparently she'd left him a voice mail when she was drunk. It made some sense; she was talking to Demi about him. It seemed obvious to Sidney that she shouldn't care about him, and most of the time, she didn't. It had been long enough that she could stop thinking about him, but on occasion she reminisced what she could have had.
Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost
"Come on, Sid.... I wish you would pick up. She cheated on me."
It was no surprise to Sidney that Kassandra cheated. Was it really that surprising to Nick that a woman who caused him to cheat would cheat on him too? But the fact that the only reason why he called was because he got what was coming for him irked her. There were so many reasons for her to be completely disgusted that he tried to contact her and talk to her, but for some reason she kept getting stuck. To delete it meant not acknowledging that he cared for her, and Sidney felt hopeful that he did care. It's basic human nature to want to be wanted. But to keep it proved to herself how pathetic and hung up she was. Why couldn't she just figure out what to do? Why was she so stuck?
Thunder only happens when it's raining
Players only love you when they're playing
Say... Women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... you'll know
"I don’t think I’m responsible. I am responsible There’s a major difference. Yeah,actually. But again, this is where you’re wrong. First death was medical. Second death an accident, third death a suicide, which..before I go on, let me remind you; we work with kids who are classified insane, suicides are bound to happen. There was another accident, two more medical, and a murder, if I’m not mistaken. Not all marriages are forever. You can’t save everyone. There’s a difference between you and me, Sidney; you may have broken up marriages, and you may have let people die over the course of your career, but you’ve never killed your little sister because you were too fucking stupid to pull over. You can redeem yourself for your mistakes. I cost my parents a daughter. I cost my sister her chances at a professional career. I cost my other sister her life. I can’t redeem myself for that."
"I know that you and I are different. I know that we've been through different things. And I know that you were hit so hard by losing your sister. I'm not saying I know how it feels, just that I know it was, and I don't know, but I'm guessing it still is, impossibly difficult... What I'm trying to say about the people I've lost... They weren't my sisters, but we cared about every single one of them a lot. The staff has gotten closer to the patients in the last fifteen years. I left too, and when I came back, things were different. Some of the ones we lost were at Parkwood for a long, long time. They knew us better than they knew their families. You're right though, we can't save everyone. That's the first thing you learn as a doctor. And on top of that, accidents happen. Hope, I know it's not something you just let go of. I don't know what to say bout it; I never have. Everyone has their own biggest mess-up... You've been talking to the patients, haven't you? They've gone through some things you wouldn't believe too."
